This IG Page Shares Funny And Random Memes To Brighten Up Your Day, Here Are The 50 Best Ones
Some days the world just gets you down. Stress, tiredness, or plain old boredom can make what started as a good day into something else. Fortunately, we as a species have developed a simple, yet effective method to boost your mood and perhaps even make you chuckle: the meme.
The “ship” Instagram page is dedicated to random and amusing memes to maybe brighten your day. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites, and be sure to share your thoughts in the comments section below.
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Load More Replies...This doesn't fit the topic but I'm glad it was posted. This is so meaningful. Their ancestors must be so proud. I am.
You've done your ancestors proud. More importantly though you should be proud of yourselves
This is wonderful, I hope you are all very proud of yourselves as, of course, your ancestors would be. BTW, who are the 2 little boys in the picture?
(this is a joke, made in satire for all the reasons it is offensive) "They get to cut on white people and get paid? Then the white people come back and ask for more?"
It seems to me (35), an avid reader, that once we reach adulthood, all of our books must contain harsh, disturbing or sexual scenes to make them 'for adults'. The only author I know of that just made silly, clever and funny books for adults was Sir Terry Pratchett. And he's now dead via euthanasia. [EDIT Also Ben Elton]
This is why I'm kinda over the whole gritty antihero and revenge stories that have been dominating film and television for the past decade or more. Why can't you have a hero who is heroic, like Aragorn or Shrek?
Highly recommend the Tiffany Aching series of Discworld books by Terry Pratchett. Supposedly YA but the same humour and even dark themes are touched on. And book reading is to be applauded!!
Highly recommend anything in the discworld universe by Terry Pratchett!
Load More Replies...I still have some of my childhood books and read them again from time to time. I'm 35, no shame. Life is dire and serious enough as it is, so why not retain some of that childhood magic?
Me too…in my 50s and still love to re-read Lewis Carroll, Edward Lear, Arthur Ransome, C.S.Lewis, Philippa Pearce and many other old favourites
Load More Replies...I can recommend a couple of authors of fun adult books, J R R Tolkien of course is top of the list along with Terry Pratchett but you should also read Lindsay Buroker's Emperor's Edge books and pretty much anything by David Gemmell.
YA is the perfect middle ground. They’re complex and interesting but they’re not all super depressing.
Yes, I was gonna say the same thing, they’re usually more about adventure and magic like the kids books but still written in a serious manner and tone like the adult books
Load More Replies...Philip Pullman: like Harry Potter, but literary too. Also, as many parents of young children know, Goodnight Moon is better than sleeping pills.
I still remember my mother reading from the Wedding of the Fairy Queen, when I was too young to read myself. I wish I knew where that book ended, because I would love to see it again.
Load More Replies...We had that with Terminator 2. Although I guess she was technically the mother of the "chosen one" but she still rocks.
LMAO! A flip-flop! She could also be using my aunt's favorite - the Mighty Fly Swatter! :D
Load More Replies...Yes please. With low energy, not being rich, chores piling up and sudden body aches. I want to read about people with this start and how they can get it done, still exhausted and dirty piles of dishes - without suddenly getting strong or rich. Just biting through / keep going just like us but with a happy end, telling us the secret of going on.... Or so 😅 I want to see solutions and try outs in a good story that I can also test
I want to see Middle-Aged Mutant Ninja Turtles so bad
Load More Replies...I agree. For some reason a mother is one of the most dangerous things to have as an enemy.
For the reason that we will do anything for our young. Anything.
Load More Replies...There’s a ttrpg podcast I love where the chosen is in fact a cranky 30 or 40 something park ranger who is terrible at lying and spends a solid chunk of time yelling at the magician for setting a fire in his forest.
OK I think I know the answer to this. We all do, really. A teenager can be manipulated or molded into whatever is needed for saving the universe. Good luck trying that trick with a 42-year-old mom.
Why does it have to be a mom, specifically? Any 42-year-old is bound to have seen some s**t and is out of f***s to give, so even if they're not a parent, they'd qualify.
It doesn't have to be a mum. That's just the character that OP was suggesting. You can suggest your own.
Load More Replies...While some might argue that memes have gotten “weirder” over the years, if you take a trip back in time and go through the internet of the '90s and early 2000s, you’ll find that things were already a tad strange, unusual, and niche. Dancing animals, the often incomprehensible-to-outsiders rage comics, and inside jokes on top of inside jokes.
The truth is, the speed and ease of use the internet brings allows basically every community with a common language (or even concepts) to create and share memes among itself. This is why every demographic, fandom, and profession has a meme page just for it.
That must've been awkward. She meant well though, so good on her for taking action.
Why awkward? He will have appreciated that she was trying to help his GF. This is the sisterhood in action!
Load More Replies...Something similar happened to me. My boyfriend was dropping me off to my counselling session, he drove off and I was just waiting outside the door for her to let me in. He realised he'd left his phone in my handbag and circled back round in the car, to get my attention he rolled down the window and shouted 'Hey baby, how much?' in the style of a keb-crawler (trying to be funny). My counsellor burst out the door, asking me if I was ok and hurried me in glaring at him. We did have a laugh about it afterwards, she said, 'I thought I was saving you from some awful man!' I did feel very protected and supported though :)
Indeed. This world tries to pit women against each other. Solidarity, sisters!
Load More Replies...Let a dog win and you just opened a can of worms lol.
Load More Replies...My cats lie either side of me demanding belly rubs at 7am, absolutely refuse to move and I have slither myself out from between them. I am often late for work.
I wish I could do this with my cat but I guarantee that if I did, she'd be more irritated than overjoyed. My work hours are HER catch-up on sleep after waking everyone at 4 AM hours.
Ah bless my cat used to do this ,until I had a couple of weeks off work, I had to take him to the vets he wasn't his self ,to be told by the vet that someone is invading his space
I love that they both have exactly the same expression on their faces.
It's the universal "waiting excitedly for the slingshot sticky bug to drop from the ceiling" look.
Load More Replies...We did a chicken one on the ceiling in the office and have been waiting for it to come down for more than a year now.
Do you still have the same expression, or did you get bored?
Load More Replies...I did One small thing and changed my friend's Life. We where waitress in a pizzeria... There was this Guy that left his Number to my friend and She didn't want to call him at all... I took her phone, made a ring, Just One ring... Now they're married!
Sure, but if I had the ability to time travel, I'd also have the ability to apparate at say, a Nurenburg rally, take a shot, and disapparate out. So how do I go to a political rally these days and manage to *end* certain politicians????
I’m hoping that particular person’s body will just give up soon after years of fast food and exercise amounting to rape and switching wives.
Load More Replies...Sad thing is that we have the ability and the means to change a lot of things, but that wouldn't be in the interest of the corporations that run the world
That is because most of us would be paralyzed by thinking that every little decision we make could have monumental consequences on an unknown future. With no way to know if the results would be positive or negative every step you took would be like walking through a minefield. Talk about anxiety provocation. Thanks but no thanks.
But one kindness, or one act of paying it forward, for example, can make a world of difference, even if just to one other person.
Load More Replies...Doing stuff now doesn't change the future... It creates the future...!!
There a thousand small decisions you make every week that don't amount anything. You have to know the future to change it in a meaningful way.
There was a homeless man outside of work one night in a midwest city when I was leaving. He asked for a few dollars. I got to talking with him, and he was hoping to enter an addiction recovery program. But he couldn't without a copy of his birth certificate. All he knew was he was born in Georgia. I googled and wrote down the phone number he needed to call in Atlanta, and a copy of a birth certificate cost something like $20. I gave him the money, plus a few dollars more for the call, and my business card, and I thought no more about it. A few months later I got a letter. He was able to get a room at the shelter and a spot in their recovery program. He was doing so well he was on track for their program to become a counselor to other addicts. A few months later, I got a letter: he was a counselor, off the streets, with a permanent birth to live at the shelter. Now you might do something kind, and 9 out of 10 times, nothing important comes of it. But that one time, whoof.
Load More Replies...And people never consider that if going back in time was a possibility, in one year, the Earth travels about 584 million miles, the galaxy is also traveling. So the time machine would dump you out in the middle of space. It would not only have to travel in time, but also be able to travel in actual space and be able to track the earth's location in time.
maybe you stay put relative to your immediate surroundings but not to, idk, some objective(??) frame of reference in the ever-expanding universe. we don’t fall off the earth as time passes, so why would we basically fall off going backwards in time?
Load More Replies...Thank the cat for allowing you to pet it, not all cats would do that :)
Load More Replies...And? He did the right thing in my opinion🐱the cat didn’t HAVE to let him pet it
Oh my, I remember saying "Thank you" to my pets when they had to leave this world at the vet. And a thousand times before as well, of course.
Correlation: Having a supportive dad can make all of the difference!
More evidence of the Mandela effect. Pikachu doesn't have any black in his tail.
Hehe it must be a trend. We have a three legged cat in the neighborhood. I see her often getting treats from strangers. No one knows her name but she is well groomed so she has a slave. Regardless me and my BF decided that we will name her " her majesty"
Every time I see the name Montague, I think of the movie "Highlander". It fits here.
It’s one of those “ small things “ that can change the future 💕
Load More Replies...Water companies in the UK cannot by law disconnect your water supply, even if you have not paid your bills.
There will never be legislation like that here. The republican voters in this country (US) thoroughly enjoy the idea of water being disconnected on the poor. Just like Jesus would have wanted.
Load More Replies...I babysat for a single mom once with like 4 things in the whole house to eat (one thing being the famous "government cheese"). My parents went and bought an entire load of groceries for them. It was fabulous. She is a lawyer now!
I, too, like keeping a giant croissant as my pet
Load More Replies...It's a tegu, not an iguana, but your joke is still excellent XD
Load More Replies...I absolutely love tegus they are so adorable and Guts is clearly the king of his new bed lol
I think OP gave the pet the wrong name. I'd name him croissant for sure!
I met an astronaut once, he said he’s always dropping stuff for a few months after coming back down because he got used to just putting stuff in the air next to him and letting it float there
I was a NASA nut, my dad was planning to take us to a shuttle launch, then Challenger happened. Years passed, and I finally dropped everything to go to the last shuttle launch. We were Seven miles away, and the launch shook the entire motel, and the roar seemed to rise from the ground. It was one of the most amazing things I have ever seen -and felt- in my life.
I can relate! Me obsessed with monkeys found 3 primates on my porch one day to visit for an hour. Husband caught wind of a rescue and set up that visit. O M G!
Meowtons, Mewtons and retchtons.(coughing up hairball)
Load More Replies...That's actually a Tortie. :) We had 2 of them who we lost to old age last year. They're wonderful cats with a unique personality.
Load More Replies...typical "artist- scientist" friction/tension. There are some on either side of the discussion who think their opposite number is an idiot who can't understand them. Wrong! :-)
Load More Replies...Punctuation pedants aside; you get an "A" and your teacher receives the "F" for his inability to appreciate your total comprehension and apprehension of the earlier
Load More Replies...I don’t see any justification for the failing grade this paper got. It might not have much in the way of flowery language, flights of fancy, and imaginative metaphors, but it is clear and makes a valid point. Though that most likely means it didn’t completely fulfill the rubric, it is still a well written piece, and deserved at least a C+ for content and clarity. And common sense.
A paper of 1 sentence? Of course he should fail. He could have described the fall in detail, and described all the things he saw in a flash when he started to fall, or he could have said "I would see the ground because it's water mists. But if I were in some way able to stay up there instead of falling, I would see ...." or "I would fall, which is a shame, because otherwise I would see ..." Instead the kid chose to be a little smart-a*s, which may be funny, but why should teachers reward being a smart-a*s and not doing the actual assignment, by giving them a good grade?
Load More Replies...Why would you fail that the kid is smart and listened and followed the prompt
I hate how different subjects can ask questions with the same words and be asking completely different things
My version: I would see my life flash before my eyes as I fell to my death.
Well, you can be a zebra joyfully eating appy slices :-)
Load More Replies...I'm a 42-year-old adult and I absolutely use that kind of language on my pets. XD I'll ask my cats if they want a "snackle" or I'll ask my dogs if they want a "treatie-weatie" or some "num-nums". One of our dogs is named Stilgar and I am (quite often) guilty of walking into the backyard with his dinner bowl and yelling "Where's my big man? Where's my Stilly-wílly? Doesn't Silly-Stilly-wílly want his din-din?" and then I'll hear the neighbor cough discreetly in his backyard. If I'm having a sandwich for lunch and the cats are trying to steal it (literally out of my hands) I will say "No you CANNOT have my sammidge!" XD I'd absolutely say "appy slices" to a tortoise, no matter how old the tortoise is or how old I am XD
Load More Replies...We have a woods turtle named Uncle Fester (named for who he looks like from the front) who's female and 130 years old. It's WIERD
Absolutely. And it doesn't even have to be a New Year's resolution. I have set myself challenges that every month I have to watch one documentary. Or how many different genres of movies I can watch in a year. Different music styles, food culture of different countries, etc. A month when I dedicate myself to the history of art, architecture... The possibilities are endless and at the same time you learn something new.
Yes! last year i tried to read one book every month.. and failed :D read 2 instead of 12. so for this year the plan is to read 3 books :) already got one down LOL also i try to eat different things this year. the woman at my favorite chinese restaurant was surprised when i ordered something else :D
Load More Replies...I like to make really small changes. For example, many years ago I promised never to throw chewing gum on the floor again and dispose of it properly. Another was when I was working with a woman who was training to become a vicar and I suddenly became aware of how much I said "oh my god" so changed god to gosh. These are little improvements which have really stuck.
Walk into a part of your town you've never been to and visit a new cafe
Load More Replies...I have a resolution to try as many flavors if pop tarts as possible! I realized in January that I had only ever tried strawberry so I have to try them all now
One night with my brother we just took out all the pasta boxes we had, put them in a line and sung their name the tune of on top of spagetti. I'mma one up that to both singing and eating every possible past
This is hilarious. I'm glad they realize they are funny (or are at least having fun).
No, I know this guy. His name is frank furter
Load More Replies...That would be better than using the disguise at a liquor store.
Load More Replies...What role? To prevent her goddaughter finding her true love, even if it happens to be an ogre.
Or perhaps to conjure up a carriage from a pumpkin so she can go to the ball?
Load More Replies...I had a therapist who looked remarkably like the cartoon version of the fairy godmother, but she was very much in favor of her patients using the word "f**k" in it's many forms. She said it was her favorite word. I'm not sure if that part was true - I think she said that so we wouldn't feel self-conscious about f-bombs. I loved that woman.
Well, sure. But the kids and the hamster will win.
Load More Replies...I hope the dad won. Kids are terrible for wanting animals and then not looking after them
Why are you downvoted? As a grown kid who wants more pets and internally shuts the idea down, I can confirm
Load More Replies...My son wanted a ferret. I told him "Straight A's!" but we went to the pet store to look and get inspired. A woman in parking lot went up to my kids and asked if they wanted a hamster and a mouse. The hamster was Chippy and the mouse was Wheels and ferret was Snowball...
I'm unsure why we had to know they were sick and saw this...I'm sorry if thats cynical but I'm not seeing the relevance
Or am I being thick and this person is calibg out they are sick for sharing this lol oh wow I've over complicated this
Load More Replies...Just a fun anecdote, not a proposal to change your inner compass. Deep breaths. . .
Load More Replies...I want to answer this one but i cant find the right words for it to make sense. I know what i want to say but no matter how i write it, it reads wrong. basicly its was something like 1+1 anxiety is like a video game power up
Someone else’s anxiety has the effect of canceling your own. Your sensitivity and drive to nurture others takes over, and you become the strongest and most capable person in the world. It’s like when everyone is freaking out over something, there’s always one person who always immediately becomes the only rational, coolheaded grownup in the room, who then calms everyone down by coming up with an excellent plan. You’re absolutely fine—-and human, because it’s a human thing to do.
Load More Replies...I don’t have anxiety anymore, but as an introvert I still feel like disappearing if the focus is on me. But, if a friend needs something then yes, sure I can also Do The Thing Too. But if it was just for me? No effing way 😆
I think it's because sometimes we're taught that being 'selfish' is a completely bad thing, and helping other's in a completely good thing. Therefore, you may feel better helping a friend because it's considered socially correct, but feel guilty for helping yourself because selfishness is bad. If anything, a certain amount of selfishness is needed to take care of yourself, it's only bad when your selfishness hurts others.
Relatable. I find it hard to stand up for myself but if a friend is being mistreated then the warrior in me will suddenly take over.
It's simple, you aren't anxious about asking on another person's behalf because it doesn't seem like you're the one "complaining".
Yup. In general I'm terrible when it comes to me. But helping or advocating for someone else? I'm all over that.
I call it 'feel this for me so I don't have to'. It works with all emotions! Anger? I'm chill. Panic? I'm zen. Fear? I'm about to punch a dude in a scream mask...
one time I was eating jalapeño cheetohs and my cat wanted one, so I held it out for him. he sniffed it, and then licked it. he was so upset by the flavor that he then swatted the cheetoh out of my hand like it had insulted his mother
It's cool when a cat does it. But when I do it I'm banned from the grocery store (j/k)
There is a little bit of cat and all of us. There is also a little bit of dog and all of us. A little bit of good a little bit of bad. Lol.
So, most cats under the age of one year do NOT like catnip. I let wild catnip grow in my yard and then before winter dry and squish it. My favorite thing to do anytime I (inevitably) end up with a new cat is introduce them to catnip for the fun of watching them smack it. HOWEVER, my most recent cat has been into catnip since at least four months and has greatly ruined my happiness because he is a strange cat. I'd accuse him of being a dog but all my cats are far more dog like than "stereotypical" cats (I've owned probably close to 30 if not more in my lifetime and very few are ever cat-like and standoffish) so I'm going to instead assume he's a crawfish because it seems most improbable.
So ... my eyes are dumb but my brain is still smart enough to interpret them?
It took us a little while to figure out my son was nearsighted. He kept saying he couldn't see when he sat behind other kids, which I took to mean that there were bigger kids blocking his view. Eventually I said "look, you're not *that* short, just how big are your classmates?" He looked at me, confused, and said "kids aren't blocking my view. The board gets blurry!" We get his eyes checked, he gets glasses. I ask him how long the board has been getting blurry and he says "at least a couple years." I say, "I don't get it. You get an eye exam every year at the doctor's. You have never had a problem." He says, "that's because I always looked at the chart before the test so I'd know the right answers." Me: "The point. of the eye test. isn't to give. the right. answers! It's so we could figure out if there was a problem with your vision! Memorizing what the chart says isn't the same as being able to see it!" Him: "You guys should have been more specific."
I would like to say that I see what you did there!... but I forgot my glasses so i'm not sure...
I always somehow manage to pass the ‘which looks clearer, 1 or 2’ test…but secretly half the time I can’t actually see the difference.
People who wear glasses are smart enough to wear them instead of looking like squinting nitwits. Saw Ariana Grande doing this on a talk show and SMH at how silly she looked.
Most people who don’t want to wear glasses but need them would just go with contacts no?
Load More Replies...eargesplitten loudenboomer (it boomen loude and splitten earge)
Load More Replies...My wife's first language is not English and she once referred to oregano as pizza grass - it's known exclusively by this term in our household now.
They are often referred to as just "weapons" in Finnish, at least by older generations.
I wasn't sure if it was just my family being weird, good to know it's not just us!
Load More Replies...Ganbarou! (Let's all do our best together!)
Load More Replies...I have knowledge of Japanese culture and some of the language. I laughed so hard at this, my eyes are watering. Omg that is just the funniest thing.
Then you're the exact person I should ask - how do you pronounce ganbatte? I read it as gahn-ba-teh
Load More Replies...be brave young roomba, you have my sword. and my bow. AND MY AXE. and- you don't have hands.
I am sorry but I seriously can't wrap my head around the fact that people can't built the IKEA furniture... It is so so easy with step by step instructions, pictures.... How can someone fail at this.. (no need to answer. I seriously lack the imagination of not understanding too put part A to Part A....)
Me. Pure incompetence. Total lack of both skill and ability. Unable to visualise. Too easily confused, frustrated and distracted. Completely inept.
Load More Replies...it doesn't have to do with not understanding the instructions. It's sort of the opposite. You know what to do and you just go ahead and put it together without realizing you have just one piece upside down.
When my mom got something for my dad that had to be put together - she would remove the screws and stuff as well as the instructions. She told him he had to wait until I got there to put it together. We always got it put together. Not quite sure why she thought that the two of us wouldn't get in trouble - We were also known to play with yard equipment...
I've put together so many kits for myself and clients. Problem most people have is a lack of patience to methodically lay everything out, check everything is included, go over the instructions to get the gist, then follow the damn instructions while assembling.
I love building flatpack furniture. I like to get all the parts out of the box, identify them with the guide and arrange them in order of use. Then count out all screws and bolts and put them into little bowls so they don't get mixed up. Then I read the instructions to the end to make sure I understand and then and only then do I commence construction. I think some people must just crack open the box and start ramming bits of wood together randomly. I would agree though that mental object rotation skills are required to visualise the instructions in a 3D space. Same as map skills, so if you can't read maps you'll probably be shite at flat-packed furniture too.
All I see here is a chair exercising with its arms flat on the floor and its legs over the head
And possibly learning along with the parent. I'm finding kids can learn way above their age if they are interested in the subject.
Load More Replies...A couple of time my mum took me to college when she was doing a teaching degree and my school was closed. One of the lecturers would sometimes ask me questions.
I took my sister to uni with me during the school holidays when doing my teaching degree. It is still one her favourite memories!
Load More Replies...i went to health class with a cute jock once. Everyone in the class was dumb as dirt.
So true. There’s sexy and there’s clinical. I highly doubt the male surgeon removing the ovarian cysts from the pelvis of even the most beautiful woman is even thinking about how sexy she is on the table in front of him. I sure as hell hope his only thoughts are about making sure the surgery goes without a hitch, and that he removes the diseased organs and leaves absolutely zero cancer cells behind, so his patient can beat the cancer and live a long and happy life.
Load More Replies...I modeled for some fellow photography students back in college. It was far from erotic - the lights were hot, but my butt was frozen (I was backed up against a cold, winter window), and my friends were all stressed about final projects. It wasn't fun or easy, but I did end up in a senior show and one of the prints was sold to a college band, who used it as their cd cover. Young me is still out there, somewhere.
And there's that one guy who's been in what seems like a wide awake coma for half an hour
I've been that crying student trying to get the shading right, instructor hoovering over my shoulder saying c**p like "do you really see that shadow casting like that there" and "I'd saturate more here if I were you". I think the models got the better show every time.
I saw some professors treat students so horribly over color choice or shading technique. One oil painting student smashed a turp jar, picked up one of the shards & cut her wrists. Luckily she was saved in time, there was a lot going on in her life & the prof just pushed her over her limit that day. I was modeling for a class down the hall when it happened, the model they had in that day never came back to work. The student came back after 6 months. To the same professor...
Load More Replies...As a Brit living in Amsterdam, I once had a plumber, Dutchie down to the enormous red handlebar moustache, who holidayed regularly in the Derbyshire dales. 'Can you fix it?' ''Appen, me duck.' My brain couldn't reconcile him into a single person.
I find it fascinating... My grandmother was born in Massachusetts and had a New England accent her entire 93 years - despite the fact that she moved away from MA when she was 19 years old and live the rest of her life in either Michigan or Florida. Had the NE accent her whole life. Yet I've lived in so many places that I pick up the local accent quickly. I adapt, she maintained. I don't understand how or why.
An Israeli friend of mine learned a lot of her English from the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series, asking her friend group what the colloquialisms meant, so it was a fun exploration for us all. Later, when she translated her dissertation into English, the academics in our group made sure that it sounded academic, not like a snarky Valley Girl wrote it...
One of the guys (Korean if you didn't know) in BTS became fluent in English by watching the entire series of Friends on video. :) His accent is perfectly East coast American.
My daughter came home after class sign-ups as a Sophomore to say she decided to take Japanese. She always did the bare minimum she had to in her classes. I asker her why on earth she would choose Japanese over French since we are from South Louisiana which also speaks French ? She's 31 now and still has no clue why she signed up for it.
I noticed some immigrants who worked where I did sounded very bad, and was offended til I realised, that they were just using the Danish they heard around them. How were they to know it was not polite language?
There was a whole planet on Star Trek that sounded like Vic Tayback because of a book about gangsters. One sounded like Vic Tayback because he was played by him
Heard about the British person with an inferiority complex? He thought he was as good as everyone else 🤣 (I'm British)
Proper gander, 'propaganda' spoken with one of the many British accents. Proper is good. Gander is a look or glance at something.
Load More Replies...I'm in the usa, I watch a lot of British TV, I got this right away. I also sometimes go to the wrong side of my car to get in.
It can't be helped. It's an automatic mom response, even though our kid is 40 and living halfway around the world. We hear "Mom," and we don't even think we just respond.
Load More Replies...this happened to me and just happened t obe at Fred Meyers so I thought it was fitting. This was around the time Toy Story had come out and it was my grandssons birthday coming up and i got him a poster of Woody from Toy Story and it was hung in his bedroom. We were checking out a the register and my Grandson just blurted out to the girl at the register, "My dad has a big woody"
My Dad was Akela at a Cub Scout Pack for 20+ years. We could be shouting ‘Dad’ for an age when we lost him in a store. To this day, over 15 years since he stepped down as Akela we can shout AKELA and he’ll respond.
I have a certain yell for my own mom and call my kids and hubs by whistling. And I am so very bad at whistling. But that means I can stay lost longer so win win?
Me and my husband in the market..… “JayJay!” “Tinned tomatoes!” Found’em!
I was stocking shelves in a grocery store when power got knocked out. I yelled Lights Out and some random guy aisles away replied Guerilla Radio. Sometimes you make friends when you least expect it.
I called out 'help, I've lost my person... Again... If returned, make sure she gets fed and ill be back to collect her later"
Do you know any jokes about sodium..Na! Fine wanna talk about potassium? K!
Load More Replies...I use How the Universe Works to fall asleep if I wake up in the middle of the night. It's interesting enough to distract my brain, but also boring enough to put me to sleep. Works every time. And side effect - I do have a much deeper understanding of black holes and dark matter.
Remember to keep encouraging that sense of curiosity and your child will grow up smart :)
This is cool. Maybe started this kiddo towards his PhD in astrophysics.
There they were, two dragons - one the deepest shade of emerald green you could ever hope to see, the other a brilliant royal purple - their wings spread wide against the rising sun. Oh...you mean the band.
Load More Replies...This was posted 9.5 years ago and someone came back to comment Barbenheimer. I love it.
Twice, I read that as "a pandemic photo". Four years later and my brain is still living in lockdown.
This reminds me of the time my neighbours named their kittens frog and pepsi.... instead of frog and toad, or even pepsi and coke 😩
I will heal your pain by telling you my dogs are named Stilgar and Fenring XD (characters from Dune)
Load More Replies...Have known - Mac and Donald - Ebb and Flo - Salt and Pepper....If you're going to have 2 cats, they have to be a team.
I keep a list of names for potential future cats, because I'm so bad at coming up with a name in the moment. For a girl and boy pair, I'm thinking Min and Max. Or George and Gracie. Or Goober and Raisinette.
Load More Replies...As a parent of an adult who is neurodivergent, I always wondered if organizations ever consulted with people who were neurodivergent on doing this if it would affect them in any negative way like it did this one individual. My daughter used to always ask me if we could please turn off the porch lights for the people who put blue bulbs in.
First part, gold. Last part: 'turn off the porch lights for the people who put blue bulbs in.' I don't understand. 😅
Load More Replies...Blue lights in a cafeteria would make food look rather unappetizing.
In UK blue lights indoors are to prevent d**g use because you can't see veins, blue lights outdoors apparently reduce crime though not sure how.
In my small seaside town, the lights along the waterfront are all blue :) it’s actually a tsunami warning system, if they turn red we know to get the heck away from the water. Just a fun fact! (I think the thing about blue light reducing crime has to do with the calming effect blue light is believed to have on an environment )
Load More Replies...Ouch. As a migraine sufferer with light sensitivity, this sounds painful.
A place I worked at organised an "autism awareness" day thing at a restaurant that was also a disco. Management were bragging about it as though they'd done something great until we autistics went "so you set this up in a place that's going to overwhelm us and send us into sensory overdrive? and you expect us to attend? why would you do that? do you hate us?"
I really wonder if folks think stuff through at all anymore. Now they have lights on bicycles that are wicked bright and flash quickly, so you can be sure to see the cyclists after dark. Whelp, they're sure to give my cousin a grand mal seizure, so you'll be riding straight into that, you visible little night rider.
My autistic son can't stand blue light either, he can't stand bright lights in general though.
As someone on the spectrum, I would hate this. I can do mild amber lighting, but blue lighting is unacceptable.
I'm not autistic (despite my daughter thinking I am) but I find blue light really calming.
Why cream? Ohh, wait I just realised like a medical cream, not like whipped cream lol
Climbs up stairs, hurts his back. Call an ambulance, heart attack!. Look out here comes the spidergramps.
Load More Replies...I used to go watch penguins at the aquarium during law school when I was particularly stressed. Animals are a great way to lower stress levels.
Whoa. I have never heard of or seen this painting before. And I love it.
I was at the MoMA in December and saw Starry Night (it's beautiful) but they had a lovely Van Gogh on either side (one that I loved - Olive Trees) and no one was paying any attention to either one. They were all lined up to take a selfie with Starry Night for their Instagram or whatever... it was kind of sad. Olive_Tree...7d714c.jpg
Or the "Blue box exploding"/"pandorica opens"? Now THAT I'd like to see in a museum.
Check out his early paintings about where he grew up. All is dark and grey and none of his typical style that he finally got famous for (after his death).
The museum in Amsterdam has his work in chronological order. His early work (potato eaters) is brown, then he gets colour, then he gets his style, and it’s an extraordinary burst of blues, yellows, reds, colour colour colour. Amazing artist
Load More Replies...Looks like bread, but yeah, it’s a little hard to tell.
Load More Replies...Be careful, that that accent he might get offended.
Load More Replies...You better hurry up and say something cause he's got a big head start on the booze.
When an adult says something like they remember life before being born, people will assume that person has delusions or hallucinations or is mentally ill, or is looking for attention, or has too big of an imagination. But if a kid says that, everyone treats it like some deep truth. Why? Why isn't it just as likely for a kid to have too big of an imagination, be looking for attention or to suffer from mental problems?
My son has speech and language issues and can barely have a conversation. He did teach himself to count to 100 in Japanese though. Which was a nice surprise
That's impressive. I can count up to 19 but forget twenty, forty, fifty, etc. I should get him to teach me! Lol
Load More Replies...First word: Duck. Second word: Electricity (while pointing at the oven). Edit: my three year old nephew was the hit of the farm machinery show. Just walk around pointing at all the equipment and naming it correctly. Apparently, he wants a combine for his birthday.
My first husband was (probably still is) a brilliant person who had delayed speech. He would point, making noises, and everyone would be at his beck and call figuring out what he wanted. One day his exasperated mother snapped at him, and he very calmly asked her to get something in a complete, grammatically correct sentence. Little sh!t.
lol response types the word "speach", and spells excavator correctly fml.
My nephew was the same. Completely silent until age 4 and then started speaking in complete sentences.
Noooooo...... Unless he almost never gets drunk, he is NOT a keeper. Find a mate that doesn't drink to excess. Living with a filthy drunk is not fun.
Load More Replies...Sounds fake. He's so drunk that he can't recognize his partner, but he's not so drunk that he can't unlock his phone or select the right person in his phone? When you're drinking, problems using a phone occur way sooner than problems recognizing loved ones.
I've seen several variations of this and always sound like an over elaborated brag on how loyal their bfs are which good for you, l guess? 🤷🏻♀️
Load More Replies...Getting so sloppy when you're drunk that you don't even recognize your significant other doesn't feel like something "cute" or "adorable" to me.
"It's Friday and Nobody is in love with you". Sorry, the Cure is as close to Emo as I get.
The Cure was Emo before Emo existed. Kind of goth/grunge/emo mix. I was in love with Robert Smith as a teenager.
Load More Replies..."That's a hearse of a different color"...also, "F you and the hearse you rode in on"
Send in the frowns Pull yourself up by the Doc Marten loops. A rose by any other name still dies. Don't dance, everyone's watching. The summer of our discontent.
I hope OP adopted him already obese (meaning that they weren't the one who overfed him to obesity) and is trying to get him down to a healthy weight again :(
Load More Replies...My new kitten loves water, she literally sits in the toilet (not the water, like the bowl) and you can't see her if you aren't paying attention bc shes mostly white, and when you sit down, she bites ur butt
I am a newer cat owner, but I feel like genetics and environment play a role in whether or not a cat becomes obese or not, similar to us humans. I feed my cat twice a day, a mixture of wet and dry food, but a reasonable sized portion and I am always throwing at least some of what was left over in her bowl from the meal prior, in the garbage. Yet some other cats I know are extremely obese, some have bowls of food are that are always full and others that have slow feeders or feeders on timers because they will not stop eating. Do cats use food as a coping mechanism or eat out of boredom? Does eating release a hormone of sorts that helps them with a possible chemical imbalance?
I always use a cloth shower curtain and one of my cats would ninja her way up and around and back down again. Needless to say, it looked weary after a while.
This was on the rare insults article! (are the BP story thingies articles?)
Sir I hope you mean dog Kevin bc I know there is a BP user named Kevin
Load More Replies..."Kevin is my dog" "In this case, if Kevin can bear my snoring he's welcome on my bed"
If you use the bathroom at our place, be aware that Albert hides under the tub, and might grab at your feet while you’re in there.
I was sent to the DVD store for a movie everyone agreed on - big mistake. Got there and could only remember the title had either the word blue or velvet in it. I couldn't believe my good fortune when I found a movie titled Blue Velvet. No one allowed me to get a DVD unaccompanied after that whopper of a mistake.
I believe that these are measures created by the UK and India.
Load More Replies...Not quite that dense. I did the math on this a while ago, and calculated that if they were Asian elephants and the meteor was made of pure nickel the volume worked out pretty closely.
Load More Replies...A car the size of 62 bananas had crashed into a light pole as tall as 130 miniature schnauzers
Can't forget the time they found an Ariana Grande sized alligator at a golf course
It's not about systems of measurement, it's about helping your reader more easily imagine the thing you're describing.
You'd be amazed at how often people don't buy all new furniture, etc. just because the calendar changed.
Load More Replies...The top is how a 12 year old girl would have decorated her room in the early 90's is given the freedom and money to do so. The bottom is how her 40 year old mom actually decorated.
Minus the giant flatscreen TV, since those didn't exist. Instead she would have had a little TV/ VCR combo sitting on the shelf next to a CD player boom box, and a see through plastic land line phone.
Load More Replies...Depends on which end of the 90's. The early 90's were still very much like the 80's and even late 70's and the late 90's were much more like what people imagine the 90's were really like.
Depends on how much money your family had to redecorate! My family here in the UK had a very IKEA style house. Lots of bright colours, but not neon.
Load More Replies...There's a toadstool joke in there for whoever is sufficiently brave to post it
Nah,it's clearly just a log. If a frog produced a stool that large, it would certainly explode.
Load More Replies...I'm the one on the right... Hop on down to this toadstool and see how time flies...
No…. He would have said…: Ahoi-hoy!” (Today you learned)
I almost forgot that! the horrible histories sketch on that is amazing!
Load More Replies...You'll hear him say "Ahoy-hoy" because that's what he wanted us to say when answering the phone. Glad it didn't catch on outside of C. Montgomery Burns
How boring were the 80´s ? Boring enough for not having anything better to do than a proper conversation with an immate who misdialed.
The thing I hate about the question being underneath is that I really needed that information before reading the answer hahaa!
i love that this is titled "from instagram" but at least 50% are from tumblr xD
i love that this is titled "from instagram" but at least 50% are from tumblr xD
