30 Times People Got Busted For Their Crystal-Clear Lies And Others Shared Them In This Group

Full of Giggles 5 years ago

Get this kid help now because dealing with Narcissistic Personality Disorder as an adult is a bitch.

24points

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago (edited)

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LittleMissLotus 5 years ago

Even the story about the teacher trying to solve a tetravalence problem which he "wasn't able to crack in days" makes no flipping sense- from what I can tell there aren't tetravalence "problems" that a chemistry teacher couldn't solve, unless we're talking about theoretical chemistry...

9points

Molly Block 5 years ago

I'm still trying to figure out 'all of them got full."

8points

Bender Bending Rodríguez 5 years ago

"... full grades/marks." That's my guess.

5points

Augusto Nicolau Prim 5 years ago

I wish I had this self-esteem

4points

Zophra 5 years ago

They all got full of what? The person's BS?

3points

Pearl Of the SeaWing RainWings 5 years ago

OH MY MOONS I HATE WHEN PEOPLE LIE ABOUT SMARTS

3points

Sherbaan Naab 5 years ago

Of all the things that never happened, this one never happened the most.

2points

KurtCobainofficiallmao 3 years ago

looks like someone doesn't have any friends lol

1point

Isaiah Wallerstedt 5 years ago

big oof

1point

#2

It’s True, I Was The Box Of Tampons

Final score:

270points

POST

Troux 5 years ago

Perfect response to this nonsense!

105points

elfin Premium 5 years ago

What nonsense? Buying cookie dough and tampons in a grocery store? Personal comments from the checkout person are not part of the deal.

2points

phantom buni 5 years ago

Usually when people lie it has too many details that are not very easy to find in real life, and they’re always very sympathetic to the character. People are either monsters or full supporters in a lie.

9points

Happy_Pandalover 5 years ago

i don‘t really get this

7points

H Edwards 5 years ago

It's basically just someone replying to say that the post is bullshit, that's all

5points

Soap 5 years ago

OP said that the person ringing up her stuff was 1 7. How would they know the age of a stranger?

4points

Marnie 5 years ago

I don't get what the point would even be of lying about it to begin with. It's like going on and lying by saying, "I went to the gas station today, and got gas and the cashier said 'Stay safe'." I mean, I don't get it at all.

0points

Quazmodic 5 years ago (edited)

So the act of someone "estimating/guessing" the age of someone when writing about them is illegal and prone to a 6-month jail sentence. Got it. And the "Pedanticism Award of the Year" goes to ..... (drumroll) lol

3points

BusLady 5 years ago

He must have sisters.

2points

Pasion Jones 5 years ago

huh

1point

Vytas Navickas 5 years ago

I'm sorry, I just don't get this-how is this being called out on something?

1point

Pearl Of the SeaWing RainWings 5 years ago

OOOOf you know, I don't understand why people bother lying about this stuff if they're just gonna screw up the story anyway

1point

Grumble O'Pug 5 years ago

Lol...busted

1point

KurtCobainofficiallmao 3 years ago

ok

0points

#3

Ultimate Survival Mode

Final score:

248points

POST

FurryManiac 5 years ago

Maybe it was a broom closet?

121points

Awkward Manatee 5 years ago

hm i mean it's possible, but normally bedrooms don't have broom closets

26points

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

nah it was the skeleton closet

10points

WildBerry 5 years ago

So many questions: WHO shoved him in the closet? Why shove him in there instead of letting him getting dressed? Why not just walk out naked and get dressed - it's not like the delivery men never saw d**k before. Why not ask the delivery men to wait while he gets dressed? Did he pee in the closet?

4points

ツ_Itz_Your_Girl_ツ 5 years ago

Yeah, i highly doubt she has a BROOM closet in her BEDROOM....

2points

Annie di Angelo 5 years ago

She could be HARRY POTTAH!

1point

Marvin HoG 5 years ago

Not generally in a bedroom. If it's not a fake post then punkasslouis should rename himself dumbasslouis

1point

JokeOfAnArtist 2 years ago

DiD yOu gET ThE bRooM ClosET eNDiNg??! THe bROom closEt eNDinG WaS mY FavoRIte!!! XD (I'm sorry)

0points

BusLady 5 years ago

If you had your phone why didn't you just call for help?

13points

Martha Meyer 5 years ago

The Case of the Mysteriously Empty Closet.

11points

Sasha Kuleshov 5 years ago

Who shoved you in the closet? And why the delivery men just barged in without knocking first?

7points

Purr·maid 5 years ago

Nope, just a chocolate bar apparently.

5points

Debrina Blackmoon 5 years ago (edited)

Shoved by whom??? He didn't go willingly???

4points

Arctic Fox Lover 5 years ago

Random unmelted choco bar that's randomly found in your closet... Sounds believable.

4points

Banjo Peppers 5 years ago

Also wouldn’t a mattress delivery take like a minute anyway?

3points

Pearl Of the SeaWing RainWings 5 years ago

Notice how the liar didn't reply with an excuse

3points

DKS 001 5 years ago

it takes about 15 minutes to have a mattress delivered and any assembly done. And I'm sure there was a time given for roughly when they would arrive.

3points

All humans possess the ability to lie: it’s something we’re born with and we die with. One study published in the Journal of Basic and Applied Social Psychology found that 60 percent of people can’t go 10 minutes without telling a lie. At the same time, another study published by the American Psychological Association suggested that lying less was linked to better average health, both mental and physical.

So, why on earth do we lie, then? To find out, Bored Panda reached out to Traci Brown, a fraud-busting body language expert. It turns out, "we learn the benefits of lying when we’re little, like protecting ourselves from punishment or to get what we want. Situations have more gravity as we get older and lying can protect our relationships or even millions in fraud theft,” Traci explained.

#4

Ya Cause Being Asleep In Your Car Means You’re In College!

Final score:

230points

POST

Martha Meyer 5 years ago

Err, what? Who sits in a car at the park?

107points

Aubryanna Walker 5 years ago (edited)

Me when I want to eat something

4points

Debbie Burton 4 years ago

Me

0points

Leesa DeAndrea 5 years ago

I do. I stay in the car to eat my lunch because I can park in the shade & roll down my window and my car is a lot more comfortable than some bird poop covered picnic table or a hard uncomfortable park bench. And no one bothers me & there's no bugs.

0points

Amaranthim Talon 5 years ago

Pretty much anyone who wants to-

0points

WildBerry 5 years ago

Me when it's cold outside but I still want to be in the park

0points

Anna Repp 5 years ago

You know - a lot of people, which surprises me too! I've seen a lot of people at forest preserve, parking the car there and sitting in it - not even trying to get out and sit on the grass or the benches there...

0points

Celtic Pirate Queen 5 years ago

Pedophiles. And serial killers.

-3points

Banjo Peppers 5 years ago

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WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago

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Troux 5 years ago (edited)

This isn't that hard to believe. I easily get woken up by people talking, and kids talk especially loud. There could be several clues to being in college; age, nearby campus, stickers on car etc. I have way too much experience sleeping in my car with the windows down in university days.

9points

BusLady 5 years ago

Dorms are getting smaller all the time.

2points

🧈Beanie the Dog🧈 5 years ago

@Lexie in the nicest way possible shut up 🙃

5points

Bill 5 years ago

I used to sleep in my car every Wed afternoon after work before my late class started. 11pm is late when you are up by 3am every day

2points

BusLady 5 years ago

Wow, how did you even find time to sleep?

3points

Yeet Twenty 5 years ago (edited)

Come her kid I got some.... caaaandy

1point

🧈Beanie the Dog🧈 5 years ago

Sleep paralysis?

1point

Jade Lynn 5 years ago

I used to have big breaks between classes but it wasn't long enough to drive home for, so I would go and have a nap in my parked car haha

1point

Jane Dorothy Warner 5 years ago

I was being wheeled flat on a hospital trolley after my leg op and I heard a kid's voice ask if that's what a dead body looks like. I know I am ugly, but gee thanks for nothing, kid. True 100%

0points

Marvin HoG 5 years ago

I sleep very lightly. The slightest sound and I wake up. If someone is talking nearby I will keep my eyes closed and listen before deciding if I should make the nearby person aware that I'm actually awake.

0points

Quazmodic 5 years ago

Sleeping lightly, woken by the kid.

0points

#5

Baby Boomers, Gosh

Final score:

216points

POST

Andrew Gibb 5 years ago

I'd rather listen to Garbage than hymns

197points

Troux 5 years ago

I think 'Stupid Girl' would be appropriate in this instance.

36points

Purr·maid 5 years ago

Garbage rocks!🤘

11points

Shelley DuVal 5 years ago

Garbage has fantastic songs.

3points

Sue Hazlewood 5 years ago

There are a lot of lovely hymns but you have to be open minded enough to listen to them in the first place

2points

Blue 5 years ago

FACC

1point

Zach Heimann 2 years ago

Garbage truck by Sex Bob-ombs.

0points

Zoe Murphy 5 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

I'm a makeup addict 5 years ago

me too.

0points

ツ_Itz_Your_Girl_ツ 5 years ago

Yeah same!

0points

Ryan King 4 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

-3points

Tanish D'Silva 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Debrina Blackmoon 5 years ago

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Purr·maid 5 years ago

You sure told hymn!

20points

Kenny Kulbiski 5 years ago

The only place I've ever run into the millennial/ boomer clash is on dubious posts like this on social media.

13points

Gage Franke 5 years ago

You could've said the Beatles or Elvis or something, but f*cking HYMNS?

13points

Wolfstar 5 years ago

I would rather listen to Screamo music than hymns.

2points

DKS 001 5 years ago

I hate people who keep grouping people together and saying or implying "all". I'm a baby boomer and I don't like baby boomers. I like current music. I don't give a rat's a**e what you do with your space and time. He probably looked at you, and you assumed he was thinking that.

9points

S. 5 years ago

This is very self congratulatory, but I don't doubt the existence of the “ phone bad book good ” and/or “ today's music is trash ” kinda people. (Hint: every generation and genre has had their fair share of bad music, it's not exclusive to 2010s pop).

6points

Cigdem Kanburoğlu 5 years ago

Garbage was one of the best group.

3points

natie marie 5 years ago

tbf kids don't even listen to Garbage anymore..

3points

Rannveig Ess 5 years ago

Please don't shame baby boomers. It's "certain people who are jerks no matter who old they would be" not an entire demographic.

2points

Donald Holder 5 years ago (edited)

How do you know he was a baby boomer? You don't know when he was Born. Anyone born before 1946 and after 1964 isn't a baby boomer.

2points

#6

Forgot To Mention, We Both Have Amnesia

Final score:

199points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

So every time you got a letter you thought it was the first one? Like 50 first dates?

182points

fogharty 5 years ago

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ML 5 years ago

How did they remember to write to each other when they had amnesia?

28points

Steven Dirkson 3 years ago

I have no clue

0points

Alison Harner 5 years ago

When you realize you messed up

16points

Csaba Hegedűs 5 years ago

And for 30 years you never at least asked where your penpal lived, at least the town, and finding out that it's the same town, you never tried to meet up in person...

13points

tangy chip 5 years ago

oh my gosh where do i even start on this one

6points

ツ_Itz_Your_Girl_ツ 5 years ago

Wait... So if you BOTH have Amnesia then how in the world did you just tell a story, that was through THIRTY YEARS!?!? Oh the things people do for likes.... *insert facepalm emoji*

5points

Donald Holder 5 years ago

What the hell they talk about in these letters for 30 years that wouldn't have tipped the other one off that it was the same town, same scenery, same weather, same professional people.

4points

lara 5 years ago

There is so much bull$hit here, I am surprised that the colors are blue and green.

4points

Sue Hazlewood 5 years ago

Then how did you remember you even had a pen pal?

3points

The Coated Dev 5 years ago

Ok at that point I think he was just being sarcastic when he said he and his penpal had amnesia but if so he really doesn't know when to let go.

3points

Sometimes, we lie just to make other people around us feel good about themselves, so not all lies are inherently bad. But it turns out that “people who tend to lie frequently do for a couple of reasons: survival or they can't tell the difference between truth and a lie.”

Traci said that mental illness can also be the reason for an urge to lie. “It runs the scale from narcissism to psychopaths. And these folks make up about 15% of the population.”

#7

And The Trainer Was Fired

Final score:

175points

POST

S. 5 years ago

It's true I'm the biceps I was there clapping

169points

Pearl_TheRapperLOL 5 years ago

As the forearms of the lady in the blue shirt, I too can say it was pretty funny.

23points

Laana 5 years ago (edited)

I’m the hot girl behind him. All of it is true.

11points

Glory The Rainwing 4 years ago

I´m the floor. It happened

2points

Mohammad Abbas 5 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

-1point

Csaba Hegedűs 5 years ago

"People were laughing 5 minutes straight" - I can't believe this can happen, like, ever, anywhere.

17points

OrangeChicken 5 years ago

the importent detail was that the girl was HOT... okay? ya got that?

12points

Blarrg 5 years ago

There was a laughing ugly girl too, but she evidently didn't merit mentioning.

4points

Pearl Of the SeaWing RainWings 5 years ago

These types of arrogant people are so annoying... although I guess they could have been using hyperbole

6points

The Coated Dev 5 years ago

That dumbass doesn't know jack, having bigger arms doesn't mean you're stronger or work out more than the other dude. It just means that you do heavier weights with lesser reps. Everyone knows that, the gym trainer could just work for a fit body instead of a bulky one. I do that cause a bulky body makes your movement a lot more fixed (that makes it a lot harder to play sports). Also I doubt everyone would have just stopped what they were doing and started laughing at that incompetent "roast".

5points

MadRatter 5 years ago

Was about to write the same regarding muscle bulk vs strength

2points

A Random Panda 5 years ago

Ain't nobody gonna just DROP barbells unless they hate their feet.

5points

Mimi M 5 years ago

Hate being in the gym when people drop weights. Makes you jump.

0points

Blue 5 years ago

5 mins straight huh? Can you imagine that? Like just laughing for 5 mins. Oh god.

4points

Zophra 5 years ago

Awww... this read like self fanfiction.

3points

Sasha Kuleshov 5 years ago

Biceps are the lazy man's muscles XD

2points

Porto DaMartinica 5 years ago (edited)

And then the bëllend clapped to himself

2points

#8

Invited To Teach Sex Ed Because Of Immense Experience

Final score:

174points

POST

S. 5 years ago

Ah yes. So much sex. So many. Like at least a hundred. Right. Much wow.

292points

brattysub21 5 years ago

LADIES AND GENTLEMAN!! THE VOLUME ON THIS BUS IS ASTRONOMICAL!!!!!

20points

Christian Bradshaw 5 years ago

@Lexie They're not making fun of sex, they're making fun of the obviously fake comment

12points

DKS 001 5 years ago

and they're THIS BIG! (makes a circle with my hands)

8points

TheHolyFatherOfToast 5 years ago

lmfao

4points

arjelio mas 5 years ago

"Srep one: Wrap the hand tightly..."

2points

Imposmate 5 years ago

ah, i see you're a person of culture as well.

2points

Elena B 5 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

1point

S. 5 years ago

And even if I were making fun of sex itself, why couldn't I? 🤔 /hj

0points

BusLady 5 years ago

How did the teacher know? Lol

31points

Rick 5 years ago

“So class, you put some lotion in one hand and hold your piece with the other...”

19points

Joanna Carmel 5 years ago

This person is undoubtedly still a virgin

12points

Marcellus the Third 5 years ago

LIES! HE (it's a he, right?) WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ASKED OTHERWISE!!

6points

Anta Babb 5 years ago

He knows all the sex. No one knows more about sex than him

11points

🧈Beanie the Dog🧈 5 years ago

@Lexie everyone knows about sex, other than like toddlers. So I’m surprised you know about it.

4points

Nagawa (Cofa) Kishiki 5 years ago

Your dad's porn caches don't count.

11points

Full of Giggles 5 years ago

Your parents must be proud.

8points

Brigs 5 years ago

And that is something to boast about?

8points

Anton Kider 5 years ago

Self sex ?

6points

BusLady 5 years ago

Would that fall under the category of safe sex?

10points

Purr·maid 5 years ago

Where's this person at? They need slapped to their senses.

5points

#9

What Magazine Has A Full Map And A Picture Of Jesus?

Final score:

166points

POST

Brigs 5 years ago

And then the heavens opened and spewed them with money, and oh, life is just so ditsy daisy!

214points

BusLady 5 years ago

Don't forget the Manna. Imagine eating the same thing for 40 years. "What's for dinner tonight, Mom?"

17points

Arctic Fox Lover 5 years ago

A more believable story of this would be that she looked at the picture of Jesus on the back and taped it together according to that picture xD

3points

Mary Peace 5 years ago

Money may not be the most important thing, compared with health, family, etc.

2points

Lia Hamilton 5 years ago

And then the map clapped

1point

Jayden Penzien 5 years ago

Omg that is funny.

1point

Troux 5 years ago

Luckily Jesus was babe of the month and had a full photo spread in National Geographic.

18points

Samantha Lomb 5 years ago

This is defiantly one of those facebook chain letters an elderly/ crazy relative posts under the title "I know no one will share"

10points

Kayla J 5 years ago

Jesus has to be embarrassed by how so many people use him in lies.

9points

Googleman1234 5 years ago

YES.

0points

Freya the Wanderer 5 years ago

Obviously an Urban Legend meant to teach some sappy B.S. lesson. The United States was founded as a secular nation, and for many good reasons.

7points

S. 5 years ago

@Cigdem I'm pretty sure you don't necessarily have to swear an oath to the Bible in court. You can request for other holy books, or just not swear at all.

1point

Anton Kider 5 years ago (edited)

Hahaha. Makes sense though. Better than a portrait of Trump.

7points

స్టీఫెన్ ఆండ్రూ 5 years ago

This seems like it's meant to be a moralistic story rather than a representation of truth. Having said that, I disagree with the sentiment.

6points

JessG 5 years ago

My eyes hurt from rolling so hard to the back of my head

6points

S. 5 years ago

Why make a huge lie about something that can be easily checked??

6points

Andrew Gibb 5 years ago

and if you pay lots of money to the church you will go to heaven for being a good person.

4points

Lying big always starts from simple steps, aka lying small. First, as kids, we learn to tell pro-social lies, like telling your grandma you like that new hand-knit sweater she gave you on Christmas when, in fact, you can’t even look at it.

According to this study from the journal Nature Neuroscience, “when people tell small lies, the brain becomes desensitized to the pang of guilt that dishonesty usually causes.”

The more little pro-lies we give, the less guilt we feel, and the more it snowballs into bigger lies that suddenly become way easier. In some cases, people get so used to falsifying or fabricating things that they start believing their lies. At some point, it turns into habit and it becomes incredibly hard to quit for good.

#10

And Then, The Vaccines Gave Everyone Autism

Final score:

162points

POST

ADHORTATOR 5 years ago

Very bad photoshop

243points

Aleksandra Elias 5 years ago

more like MS Paint

23points

Lyra Fortune 5 years ago

Looks like a minecraft sensor light

11points

fuggnuggins 5 years ago

How do you know it wasn't a very bad joke?

2points

LOGAN HUNTER 5 years ago

Not just that but this photo has been used several times already

2points

Jo Browne 5 years ago

His brain

1point

okpkpkp 5 years ago

But a decent manicure.

0points

elfin Premium 5 years ago

Or very bad installation of tracking and brain-control microchip by Bill Gates. Could go either way.

0points

fuggnuggins 5 years ago

I mean, clearly it's the same picture that used to have the cat on it.

0points

DKS 001 5 years ago

Oh look! It's that lego piece you stuck up your nose when you were two! Congrats for finding it!

38points

BoredDragon 5 years ago

HAHAHA

6points

ML 5 years ago

So your finger came out of your nose? Good for you. It is not nice to pick your nose

11points

I'm a makeup addict 5 years ago

lol I'm in tears bc of laughing so much!!

2points

cybermerlin2000 5 years ago

No, you took a line of cocaine and then sneezed because you would have to be high to believe that picture isn't photoshopped

8points

Aragorn II Elessar 5 years ago

*Anti-Vaxxer conspiracy theorists*: I refuse to get my kids vaccinated because the government is implanting trackers in them. *Also Anti-Vaxxer conspiracy theorists*: yeah, I’m sending this post from my cell phone, which I always have with me and definitely can’t be tracked.

7points

Scratch 5 years ago (edited)

After my test I sneezed and a bunch of voting irregularities fell out.

6points

Vytas Navickas 5 years ago

THIS ONE MADE ME LAUGH!

1point

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

Stop snorting minecraft redstone equipment.

6points

Troux 5 years ago

Did this chip contain the full version of Photoshop or did you already have it installed?

5points

OrangeChicken 5 years ago

Yeah me too,,, microchips keep falling out of my nose. gonna go get that checked on wednesday

4points

smol doggo 5 years ago

*snort*

4points

#11

NASA Employee Giving Out Top Secret Info

Final score:

154points

POST

S. 5 years ago

I wonder what the “smoke” in particular alludes to....

127points

LittleMissLotus 5 years ago

Probably whatever this person is smoking to make them think anyone believes them

12points

Troux 5 years ago

I edited this post down to the true parts: "I had a random guy in my apartment last night......then the conversation got weird...."

22points

Wolfstar 5 years ago

@Lexie Mitchell, four words: shut the f*ck up. You're everywhere being a troll and I'm sick of you.

6points

Marcellus the Third 5 years ago

I think the "NASA scientist" in a labcoat was actually an emergency mental health nurse carting them off , "Of course the earth is flat, just look here while I put this strappy jacket on you"...

15points

DC 5 years ago

Flat-earthers can't be wrong - you find them all around the entire world!

5points

Martha Meyer 5 years ago

Wouldn't they be found "aflat the entire world" instead of "around the entire world"?

10points

EA 5 years ago

If I worked for NASA I’d want to troll flat earthers too (not that I believe this bullcrap of a story)

4points

🧈Beanie the Dog🧈 5 years ago

You had a random guy in your apartment...

3points

Blue 5 years ago

Yes, he must have been a NASA agent bc he said so. I mean there's no way he was blasted, or drunk or just joking. Yes I work at NASA too and the moon landing was fake. You HAVE to believe me right? Just bc I said so?

3points

Imposmate 5 years ago

Well, of COURSE I do, just because you said it!

0points

OrangeChicken 5 years ago

... yeah... sometimes you can just tell someone is making s**t up from the way they type it out. and "KAPOW!" really?

3points

Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 5 years ago

I get on a site called Christian forums (I'm agnostic) to watch them fight over who is wrong or right in religion. Tons of people on there believe the bible says the earth is flat.

3points

Aragorn II Elessar 5 years ago

It literally doesn’t though. It says the opposite, in fact, in Isaiah 40:22. “It is He who sits enthroned above the circle of the Earth...”

5points

no_name 5 years ago

Must have been hell of a nightmare

3points

#12

Laced Her Feet And Didn’t Notice

Final score:

150points

POST

Your Local Lizard 5 years ago

Nice lacing tho

79points

Pearl Of the SeaWing RainWings 5 years ago

Yeah, They couldn't stick their foot in the shoe but for some reason they could lace them up neatly?

20points

BusLady 5 years ago

Looks like you're all tied up.

14points

S. 5 years ago

Damn, even when I'm fully awake, I can't ever achieve that perfect lace-work.

12points

no_name 5 years ago

It looks pretty far-fetched, but I don't lace and unlace my shoes either, so... Maybe drunk out of my ass I would manage it?

5points

Donald Holder 5 years ago (edited)

I've been dead dog tired, hungover, sick as hell, gotten dressed in almost pitch black rooms so I didn't wake the widebor baby, but never to the point that I didn't know what the f**k I was putting ony feet. (Different color socks yeah, but not this s**t)

3points

Torchicachu 5 years ago

no one would be able to do that in their sleep

3points

Mary Peace 5 years ago

Before I read this I saw the picture at the beginning and thought it was some new trend. Bit far-fetched to manage it on both feet, and as others said, such perfect lace work.

3points

Layla Corman 5 years ago

Where is her right foot? She only took 2 pics of her left foot!

2points

Laana 5 years ago

I find it so irritating when people write like this.

2points

Dreamwolf 5 years ago

How do you 'accidentally' tie your shoes like that?

2points

ツ_Itz_Your_Girl_ツ 5 years ago

imagine other peoples faces...

2points

#13

She Was On Superhearing Cruiselines

Final score:

145points

POST

Brigs 5 years ago

And then I woke up....

277points

Purr·maid 5 years ago

😂🤣

7points

Troux 5 years ago

I can confirm this because I'm the captain. I got the job when they let me hold the rudder for a minute and then I made the cruise ship do a backflip, and everyone cheered. #blessed

46points

Marcellus the Third 5 years ago

The "#blessed" is my favourite touch. To anything.

11points

Carrot dude 5 years ago

Ikr! We have such similar opinions! #blessed

5points

Anton Kider 5 years ago

And you are Whitney Houston ...?

6points

BusLady 5 years ago

🎶 How do I know? 🎶

6points

BusLady 5 years ago

And then you took the stage and began an amazing career as a Cruise singer.

5points

Your Local Lizard 5 years ago

how did they come up with this

5points

Sasha Kuleshov 5 years ago

The whole 800 passengers overheard you? What were you doing in the captain's quarters with the mic on?

4points

smol doggo 5 years ago

what an idiotic person

4points

Donald Holder 5 years ago

Singing to myself, but so loud that an entire stadium filled with walls, metal, glass, insulation and furniture and without a microphone or sound system and it was crystal clear enough to get claps. I wonder, did they also clap when you took a piss or a s**t? The harmonics must have been built by BOSE.

2points

Pearl Of the SeaWing RainWings 5 years ago

Ugh, you wish

2points

#14

Sorry, What The Hell Did I Just Read?

Final score:

144points

POST

Martha Meyer 5 years ago

Ah yes, because chickens that aren't slaughtered in your backyard, but come prepackaged to the store from somewhere else, are all grown on trees and plucked from the branches when ripe...

282points

BoredDragon 5 years ago

Right, and the chickens that this person “freed” were not hit by a car.

50points

Paul K. Johnson 5 years ago

I love learning new stuff! Do you happen to know if a person can save money by planting their own chicken tree(s). If it's a lot of work caring for these trees then buying pre-harvested chickens is probably the way to go. Now I'm wondering if there are different species of chicken trees. Are there breaded chicken trees or just raw chicken trees?

33points

Jaded Queen 5 years ago

They r not plucked silly Martha they just gently float down into the basket/oven when they r ready to be eaten...

9points

Banjo Peppers 5 years ago

Chickens don’t grow on trees, they actually grow underground like potatoes.

8points

BoredPundits 5 years ago

Gives new meaning to the term *fresh ingredients*.

1point

Bharathi Raja 5 years ago

haha

1point

Jayden Penzien 5 years ago

Lol

0points

Troux 5 years ago

Gotta admit, he's got pretty decent grammar and diction for a five year old.

27points

Iggy 5 years ago (edited)

Was it a military chicken coup? Did those chickens declare that KFC independent of all other KFCs? Would that mean it a hen-clave?

17points

JessG 5 years ago

Lol! First thing I noticed! *coop*

8points

El muerto 5 years ago

who let the chickens out...chirp chirp...chirp chirp chirp

13points

Cynthia Souza 5 years ago

Unless the chickens were trying to overthrow the government, they were not in a chicken "coup." They were in a chicken coop.

11points

Steven Dirkson 3 years ago

What if they were??? And the employee just helped them in ways unimaginable??? WHAT IF WE'RE DOOMED???

0points

DKS 001 5 years ago

"Dobby is freeee!" For health and safety reason, restaurants do not use fresh meat. They have a vendor who supplies processed meats and foods. Unless you live in a villiage of 50 people or less, because the time all by itself to slaughter, pluck, boil, skin, and cook 1 chicken is longer than a 5 minute wait in line.

11points

cybermerlin2000 5 years ago

Wow! That one reeked so badly of s**t I had to check my shoe!

11points

Lauren Caswell 5 years ago (edited)

Yes....and the company awarded your release of live animals into the dining space by making you head manager XD lol I did giggle at the idea of kfc having a secret chicken coop and customers not knowing: "I swear i can hear chickens!" Manager: "no, itll just be the ghosts of the chickens/that's just our ambience soundtrack"

9points

ML 5 years ago

Yeah I read about this from the Insane Asylum weekly. You forgot to mention that you are Napoleon in this story

6points

Kisses4Katie 5 years ago

Head manager of what then??

6points

#15

In The Jungle, The Mighty Jungle The Lion Claps Tonight

Final score:

132points

POST

Brigs 5 years ago

Yeah, we do that in Africa all the time.....NOT!

187points

Black Panther 5 years ago

Dude/dudette you are actually right when people think about a middle eastern country or india they think about snakecharmers then for Australia they think that people have spiders and rattlesnakes for pets and Africa they think about some guy wearing leafs and growling at a lion with weird marks on his face LOL XD 😂😂😂😡😡 it shows how judgy people can be

6points

BusLady 5 years ago

Dude, aren't you the same guy who screamed bloody murder when you saw a spider?

27points

I'm a makeup addict 5 years ago

lmao

1point

Eric George 5 years ago

I would expect a lion whisperer to whisper rather than growl. Maybe they meant to say *lying* whisperer?

15points

Your Local Lizard 5 years ago

The title made that song get stuck into my head again whyy ;^;

14points

Purr·maid 5 years ago (edited)

Feeling the need to overcompensate for any particular reason??!!!

8points

SaltyFØxx 5 years ago

if anyone would be able to communicate with a large cat, it would be u.

4points

DKS 001 5 years ago

was the safari on the TV screen?

8points

MoonCrusher 5 years ago

And wouldn't you be with a tour guide?

4points

Princess Procrastination 5 years ago

How is your mum talking to your ghost? Is she a ghost whisperer?

3points

Soap 5 years ago

Yeah, but you imagine that cause the lion gave you brain damage.

3points

Navindu Wijewardena 2 years ago

and then the lionesses clapped

2points

#16

This Is Probably The Worst One I Have Ever Seen In The Wild

Final score:

132points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

This one is pretty funny.

106points

Kizzie 5 years ago

Though definitely not true

42points

GirlFriday Premium 5 years ago

I like how this happened this yesterday, but they have married to the security guard for three years now.

26points

Dodo 5 years ago

Could be that the ex was prior to the marriage. And maybe the husband was like 'Hey, your ex punched a customer today' and that's how he recognised him.

1point

pancake 5 years ago

how could anyone believe this (and wtf is black wednesday)

19points

Pink 5 years ago

And then the pop tart boxes sang praises and rejoiced UWU

13points

Niffler_13 5 years ago

What Targets have security guards?? Also What is Black Wednesday??

12points

phantom buni 5 years ago

Like Black Friday, but all week I guess

6points

Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 5 years ago

What is black Wednesday?

9points

Anonymous Panda 5 years ago

I think it's made up.

3points

Purr·maid 5 years ago

Im pretty obsessed with Pop Tarts too but I'm not going to punch someone out over the last box. Who does that?!! Nobody.

8points

Christian Bradshaw 5 years ago

Why... Why did she marry the security guard? That had no place in the story at all

5points

Anonymous Panda 5 years ago

There is so much wrong. What is black Wednesday? And you met the security guard yesterday, and now you've been married for 13 years.

5points

A Random Panda 5 years ago

The closest thing I've heard of is Ash Wednesday, and that's a church thing.

3points

Kayla J 5 years ago

All that for 2 likes

4points

#17

Medical Expert Here

Final score:

131points

POST

Bill 5 years ago (edited)

For somebody with a PhD and a Doctorate(allegedly), their writing doesn't reflect that. 9 year program for the required degrees to design and make medicines in theUS

105points

Blue 5 years ago

Ur anti-vax? damn. people are f*****g stupid

0points

cybermerlin2000 5 years ago

What really happened: I tried to prove Anti-Vaccination was the right way and my paediatrician destroyed my argument and made me look stupid by asking me simple and obvious questions in the waiting room in front of other patients in a mocking tone

26points

BusLady 5 years ago

Got your degree from WebMD?

17points

Scyth 5 years ago

Worse. It's facebook.

17points

DKS 001 5 years ago

anyone who begins with a "believe me" type statement is about to tell you a lie

12points

Janine B. 5 years ago

She must have read a roll of toilet paper because this is so bullshit.

8points

Torchicachu 5 years ago (edited)

your pediatricion probably pretended to agree so then they could be done with your bullcrap

5points

I'm a makeup addict 5 years ago

sounds like something I would do too, if I had to deal with an anti-vaxxer...

1point

Blackheart 5 years ago

get your vaccines and wear your mask. then get some meds for those massive delusions.

4points

JessG 5 years ago

I read this in a heavy southern accent

4points

Aleksandra Elias 5 years ago

Google University, Faculty of Medicine

4points

Leo Domitrix 5 years ago

I have an MD. I learned more about vaccines watching kids with measles suffer complications like blindness, in he USA, in the 1990s. It broke me. *Broke* me. So, no, the OP has no frigging clue. That, or her "doctor" was a chiropractor.

3points

WildBerry 5 years ago (edited)

I call BS here. You have an MD as in you have a doctor that you visit. YOU ARE NOT AN MD. How do I know - because I worked in US hospitals in the 90's. Ironic that you choose to lie in this particular thread. And if you insist on this fabrication of yours, post sites about it. You won't because you can't because blindness is EXTREMELY rare in measles and because measles were not that prevalent here where you would have been 'broken'. RIdiculous. If you said you saw blindness in a 3rd world country from measles, well yes since it occurs in conjunction with vitamin A deficiency 99% of the time "DOCTOR".

1point

#18

Yeah, Okay Buddy

Final score:

130points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

This one made me LOL.

134points

Googleman1234 5 years ago

same. but i dont believe it

5points

Ralph Burton 5 years ago

Me too

2points

Shelley DuVal 5 years ago

Don't encourage them!

0points

Freya the Wanderer 5 years ago

This makes a great joke! Reminds me of the man in a long line at Walmart checkout early in 2020, and he starts to cough. He then says, "Dang, this cough has gotten worse since I got back from China." Boom, no line. 😁

30points

Elena B 5 years ago

You know what? This might work.

23points

Lsai Aeon 5 years ago

honestly, nowadays, I wouldn't be surprised if this one is actually true

10points

Aragorn II Elessar 5 years ago

Ima try that

10points

Pearl Of the SeaWing RainWings 5 years ago

This one was actually funny

8points

Blue 5 years ago

and then the tables started clapping

5points

Stannous Flouride 5 years ago

It's a very old joke.

4points

Lucia Williamson-Waggoner 3 years ago

OK, this one is hilarious.

0points

Savannah Manis 3 years ago

It's not a lie. It's a joke, a funny one too.

0points

#19

Delusional Tall Man Thinks Women Openly Drool Over His Phenomenal Height

Final score:

126points

POST

Martha Meyer 5 years ago

The scary part is some dudes are really so deranged, they'll mistake any kind of old look (even disgust) for lust. I had a dude follow me home from the subway one day asking for a date. I'd been staring at him on the subway because he was fat, ugly and looked like he hadn't showered in a week and he apparently mistook that for interest on my part!!

85points

Bender Bending Rodríguez 5 years ago

I do not condone strangers following other strangers. I also do not condone staring at someone because they are "fat, ugly and looked like he hadn't showered in a week".

170points

PotatoNinja5000 5 years ago (edited)

He shouldn't have followed up by stalking you, but perhaps he chose to believe you had nice intentions rather than you staring at him for rude reasons? Seriously, rule 1 of not getting followed: don't be an asshole yourself. Second rule: don't engage with the person if you think he's creepy.

51points

Chodz VP 5 years ago

That comment should be on this list.

25points

Hugo Raible 5 years ago

Poor guy being so desparate that he would even pursue a horrible person like you.

21points

Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 5 years ago

That was rude, but I get it.

9points

Marvin HoG 5 years ago (edited)

You know what I do what I see someone fat & ugly? I turn away from the mirror 🤣 You know what I do when I see someone fat & ugly in public? I don't stare and judge them because I don't know them or what's going on in their life and I also know that beauty is subjective so they aren't actually ugly to me.

8points

Susan Mercurio 5 years ago

I used to say, "Hello" to a guy whom I saw every day on the bus going home from work. He asked if he could come over one day and started hitting on me. He told me the reason he did that was because he thought I was hot for him, and when I asked him what I could possibly have done to give him that impression, he said that I said "Hello." God help us.

6points

fuggnuggins 5 years ago

Your fault for staring at people. Another issue I find is that some people are so entrenched in their own opinions and confined experiences that they simply won't accept even reasonable situations as possible.

4points

Amaranthim Talon 5 years ago (edited)

Well- not to be picky - but you shouldn't have been staring at him. It's none of your business..

2points

eezycheezes101 5 years ago

Why the hell would do that tho. Everyone is different and everyone is beautiful. Yeah some guys do that, but he might think there's a chance that someone besides you will like him for who he is. Sorry not sorry.

2points

Eduard Korhonen 5 years ago

Someone clearly lying as a reply to someone else clearly lying 🙄

2points

J&B FitzTubeKidz 4 years ago

Not showering for a week? Understand. Fat and ugly? Just shut up. And how do you even know he doesn’t shower? Did you ask him? Sure hope you didn’t.

1point

Signe Manat Hansen 4 years ago

Maybe don't stare at people.

1point

Aasha Rooks [STUDENT] 4 years ago (edited)

perhaps some kind of dude like that is "deranged" enough to want to marry someone is terrible as you

1point

Dale Overturf 5 years ago

R/thathappened

1point

Celtic Pirate Queen 5 years ago

Or when you just zone out and realize the guy in your line of sight thinks you're trying to hit on him.

1point

Nicole 5 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

1point

Savannah Manis 3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Some Cool Guy 5 years ago

I'm 6 foot 5. Being able to get things down from high shelves is cool and all but you'd be surprised at how many things you bang your head on.

35points

Wolfstar 5 years ago

My friend would agree with you. In high school, he started walking sorta hunched over since he kept on hitting doorways, banners, all that fun stuff.

4points

Rick 5 years ago

He must be really tall to have his head that far up in the clouds

19points

Kari Panda 5 years ago (edited)

I‘m a woman in my thirties, but never in my life have I bitten my lip and moaned because of some random guy -.-

13points

BusLady 5 years ago

Been watching too much porn lately?

13points

5 years ago

ok, so no woman, no matter how feaky, would ever just start moaning in public because someone is tall.

11points

Alison Harner 5 years ago

He is definitely under 5’ 8 in real life

11points

S. 5 years ago

The meme may be dead, but I wanna snatch his kneecaps

11points

🧈Beanie the Dog🧈 5 years ago

I wanna delete them

2points

Stille20 5 years ago

Why would you post that? Also I have a tall boyfriend, you end up needing a bigger bed. Freaking limbs everywhere. :)

9points

Bleeding-Angel 5 years ago

I second this staement my boyfriend is literally a tree and I'm tiny so we look comedic together.

2points

Jo Choto 5 years ago

Maybe from that INCREDIBLE height, he can't actually hear or see what's actually going on.

8points

#20

Sure Buddy

Final score:

119points

POST

David K 5 years ago

I beat couple of cops too and got away with that...in GTA5

133points

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

I blew up a police station and was fine... in Just Cause 3.

16points

Wim Langes-Visee 5 years ago

I did that as well. And got a velociraptor to destroy the police car. That was however with LEGO

9points

Blackheart 5 years ago

but did everyone clap?

5points

Blue 5 years ago

Yessir 5 star criminal

3points

Steven Dirkson 3 years ago

I destroyed the protector of the village... in minecraft

1point

Navindu Wijewardena 2 years ago

I have murdered countless innocent people... in Minecraft

0points

Black Panther 5 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago

The moment you beat an US cop, you're dead. Literally. You'll die of lead poisoning.

19points

Bender Bending Rodríguez 5 years ago

A direct dose of lead?

6points

Csaba Hegedűs 5 years ago

No way you can get out of beating a cop. You just don't.

10points

BusLady 5 years ago

IRL, you'd be texting this from a jail cell. Or a hospital.

7points

Bender Bending Rodríguez 5 years ago

You are optimistic.

9points

Wolfstar 5 years ago

Did he really have to italicize 'female?' And anyway, I would be more impressed with someone talking their problems out than beating the sh*t out of them. Beating someone up just shows that you think with your fists, not your brain. Assuming that the dumb*ss even has a brain...

6points

Daniel Wang 5 years ago

-49 upvotes serves him right

5points

Larkyn Blue 5 years ago

wow, do you really think people will believe you beat the crap out of a cop?

4points

⚞ Katniss Everdeen ⚟ 5 years ago

Yeah, even if it was the cop that beat YOU up, you'd still have gotten arrested, assuming this took place in America.

4points

That Screaming Hamster 5 years ago

Oh yeah the female cops are just there they’re models didn’t you know gosh kids these days

3points

Purr·maid 5 years ago

I call bullshyt.

3points

#21

When They Have Tests In Kindergarten

Final score:

115points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

At 5 years old, you were still learning how to spell your name.

210points

Kisses4Katie 5 years ago

At 5 years old, for some reason I drew w*****s on stick men.

27points

Rick 5 years ago

“Hello my name is Laura. That’s L-I-A...”

18points

Kip Otter 5 years ago

When I was five I was reading simple books on my own, that's really all I did when I was little. By third grade I was reading at a high school level. I hope this doesn't sound entitled or snobbish but I just thought that I would share my own experience.

15points

Dynein 5 years ago

Well, some kids can already write at that age... What's suspicious is that al his classmates paid attention and no one made fun of the situation, and that he did better than the teacher. I dare say that people who think they were soooo smart as children and so much better than the adults didn't gain much experience and knowledge growing up.

10points

Debrina Blackmoon 5 years ago (edited)

Hmm-I knew plenty of 5-yr.-olds who could spell their names and much more. Also I could do the same by that age. Wow.

3points

Pearl_TheRapperLOL 5 years ago

Nah, that guy totally knew how to write his first AND LAST name at five. He's just built different.

3points

kira griffin 5 years ago

at five years old, I learned the months of the year, and I still remember the song our teacher taught us to remember them....

2points

serge 5 years ago

True, but a 5 year old can become president never forget that...

1point

elfin Premium 5 years ago

Donald, is that you?

1point

Elena B 5 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

1point

Jjjane20 4 years ago

But he was a smart kid, you know.

0points

Lila Nguyễn 5 years ago

People today already knew how to read at 4

0points

Ralph Burton 5 years ago

When I started school aged 5, in the 1950's, I could read, and write my name & address.

0points

Raven 5 years ago

my 4 year old sister can write her name, the abc's, the numbers from 1-10.

0points

Elviz Rodriguez 5 years ago

i agree, i didnt know how to spell my name correctly until i was 8

0points

Joseph Rychetsky 5 years ago

Lol

0points

Freya the Wanderer 5 years ago

What kind of school makes kindergarteners take tests? And how could anybody remember anything this far back?

10points

Steven Dirkson 3 years ago

Maybe like 'What are your ABCs' and such, even then, they never graded us in Kindergarten

0points

Niffler_13 5 years ago

What 5 year olds are taking tests?

7points

Troux 5 years ago

This sounds like one of Trump's "stable genius" anecdotes.

7points

Sasha Kuleshov 5 years ago

This was the same kid as the one teaching sex ed at 15 XD

5points

Zophra 5 years ago

Hmmm... 5 year old with a "fast brain" what does that mean? Quantum mechanics or eating your boogers more effectively?

3points

Mohammad Abbas 5 years ago

Eating boogers via WORMHOLE

1point

FauxRealFauxSho 5 years ago

I distinctly remember having trouble understanding the concept of “zero” in Kindergarten... “What do you mean “zero”, there is nothing there!” Also remember naps, ice cream, and changing pants for obvious reasons after nap time. But yeah, don’t remember any tests.

2points

A Random Panda 5 years ago

And I, at five years, was composing orchestras and had applications to 5 major universities. Joke's on you, sucker. s/

2points

Imposmate 5 years ago

really?

0points

Pearl Of the SeaWing RainWings 5 years ago

*pukes at the patheticness of this liar*

2points

ツ_Itz_Your_Girl_ツ 5 years ago

First of all, which school gives FIRVE YO's a test?

2points

#22

And Then The Sales Went Up $500%

Final score:

112points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

Starbucks giving out free drinks? That's the dumbest part.

184points

Andrew Gibb 5 years ago

If Starbucks had paid their taxes in full this could be classed as a miracle

9points

Just JoLynn 5 years ago

I mean if it's your birthday then sure.

4points

ツ_Itz_Your_Girl_ツ 5 years ago

Yeah, no kiddin'.

3points

Sam Cook 5 years ago

My coffee shop gives me free drinks, but mostly because it's at my college and I'm usually there when they do one extra free drink, either by accident or because no one picked it up. But yeah, this is fake.

1point

Aubryanna Walker 5 years ago

That's how you know it's fake...

1point

Joseph Rychetsky 5 years ago

Lol right though

1point

Blue 5 years ago

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H Edwards 5 years ago

I especially love the ones where someone claims their toddler said something insightful and profound. 4 year olds have little concept of 'nowadays', they have only been alive 4 years lol.

17points

Troux 5 years ago

You know, just your standard coffee shop music...

11points

DKS 001 5 years ago

I have never been to a barista that plays rap music.

5points

Purr·maid 5 years ago

They could have saved face just by saying that Eminem rocks. To which I would have agreed. To this, not so much.

4points

rainforest 5 years ago

how is that "business advice" 🤣

4points

Heather Reynolds Atwood 5 years ago

People in Starbuck's still think Eminem is candy.

3points

OrangeChicken 5 years ago

I mean, I myself am not a huge fan of the new music, but I can respect it (Mostly because I grew up on Rolling Stones and Alice in Chains... but so have a lot of people, so I'm not special)

2points

Mohammad Abbas 5 years ago

I'm not a fan of much popular music, but I still respect it's place in the industry. If people buy it, that means it works for someone out there. I despise pop-country music but still accept that people like it, and I shouldn't spoil it for others.

0points

lil peep stan 5 years ago

they wouldnt even lil pump in the 1st place...

2points

I'm a makeup addict 5 years ago

yeah

1point

Full of Giggles 5 years ago

Uh...Eminem still makes new music.

2points

#23

And Then Everyone Clapped

Final score:

111points

POST

S. 5 years ago

Thousands of doctors, medical officials, scientists, reputable organisations, and other experts, asking you to wear a mask is considered “fake news,” yet the claim of one "nurse" is suddenly considered a universal opinion? And speaking of which, we are here to deal with facts, not opinions.

248points

Stannous Flouride 5 years ago

I think that nurse worked in the office of Andrew Wakefield (the UK doctor who faked the vaccine=autism study).

5points

Marnie 5 years ago

People like that are why my son lost his business today. Heart-breaking - it was a home, his family, many kids grew up there. He managed to survive 4 months of shutdown before, but can't do it again. Shutting down businesses again needn't have happened if people would just do what we've known we need to do in this situation for over 100 years!

4points

fuggnuggins 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Marcellus the Third 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Rod Egret 5 years ago

We do have to build our immune systems! That's what vaccines are for.... Not wearing a mask just makes you a selfish jerk.

18points

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

And it gives Rick May's American Boot another target... Your Crotch.

1point

Troux 5 years ago

Thousands of trained medical professionals worldwide say one thing but some random Home Depot shopper says another thing....I just don't know whom to believe these days!

15points

BusLady 5 years ago

No nurse would ever say that.

9points

Marcellus the Third 5 years ago

Even if one of every few thousands would THINK that (the lucky rare ones that somehow haven't seen healthy colleague die recently), why would they bother to go up to the guy to say so? Also why didn't she make the story about herself? Weird.

8points

Full of Giggles 5 years ago

It was probably the nurse of light geometry.

7points

Marcellus the Third 5 years ago

Or someone nursing a beer.

4points

DKS 001 5 years ago

next time Black Plague comes creeping across the world, make sure you don't wear your PPE's and don't wash your hands. Your immune system needs to be exposed to it ... ... ... ... ...

6points

cybermerlin2000 5 years ago

No, they didn't. A French surgeon in 1897 put a piece of fabric across the face as it became apparent that it was useful to stop any coughs or sneezes getting on a vulnerable patient. This was because of a basic understanding that airborne infections exist. This very rapidly spread and patients had a higher survival rate. Today common sense reinforces it.

6points

Bill 5 years ago

Duct tape would reinforce the mask rule pretty well I think.

2points

Rick 5 years ago

By nurse she probably means psychiatric and by psychiatric I mean this was probably an episode and definitely didn’t happen.

6points

Purr·maid 5 years ago (edited)

Okaaay... This reminds me of those fake tweets by Trump's minions - complete & total BS.

5points

Red rockin lobster 5 years ago

My colleague comes up every day with new similar stories based on statements her (immaginary) fiends (different doctors, virologists) told her. Of course, every person capable of typing on facebook , especially if the words match her opionion, is her doctor friend.

5points

#24

Didnt Miss A Word

Final score:

111points

POST

Cassie 5 years ago

"No, thank you" would have sufficed.

19points

Purr·maid 5 years ago

That comment got 51 likes but her 'story' got 1, which was probably hers.

3points

Zophra 5 years ago

It is hard for a vehicle to clap... it must have been really special.

2points

Elviz Rodriguez 5 years ago

then all the traffic stopped and danced like a IRL musical, the end.

1point

Sasha Kuleshov 5 years ago

Plot-twist: the driver was Dr. Dre :D

1point

Bill Karp 4 years ago

bless your little heart,

0points

Mumof1 5 years ago

And the world stopped turning...

0points

Amanda Flesher 5 years ago

And the cab driver was actually an Uber driver that you didn’t even tip.

0points

Marnie 5 years ago

I'm not sure - sounds fishy, but why is this one impossible to have happened?

0points

Bunzilla 5 years ago

the cab driver after the passenger finishes their ~wonderful~ performance: so. . .is that a no?

0points

#25

Sucking Out The Venom

Final score:

100points

POST

Brigs 5 years ago

I ain't sucking up your story

167points

Loonatic7 5 years ago

Yeah, it sucks. Wow, I am ashamed at what I have just wrote. Help? Anyone, HELP?

7points

BusLady 5 years ago

How stupid do you need to be, to stick around and get bitten again?

31points

ƒιѕн 5 years ago

Lol thats f*****g funny

2points

Purr·maid 5 years ago

I wish I had a boyfriend who sucks out venom... *bites lip & moans*

20points

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

I could help if you got me infinite power and a few months to update the universe to include aliens. Then you'd be happy as can be. Until the dragon people end civilization in a blaze of tripods as payback for the entirety of Camelot.

4points

Aunt Messy Premium 5 years ago

Rue is toxic and has been used in the past to induce abortions because it causes violent abdominal spasms.

18points

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

o o p s i e d o o d l e s

4points

Grady'sRaider 5 years ago

I grow rue. I make an infusion with it, and spray the infusion in my gardens where I want to keep stray cats from doing their business. It works great, like reverse catnip. Webmd says "It is UNSAFE for anyone to use rue in medicinal amounts." This girl should make up some rue infusion and spray the fiance. He's just shitting in her garden.

14points

Pearl Of the SeaWing RainWings 5 years ago

They forgot to add the part about how the spider was radioactive and how they now have spider powers.

11points

BoredDragon 5 years ago

SpOoDerMaN, sPooDErmAn, dOeS wHaTeVeR a SpOOdEr cAn

3points

Steve 5 years ago

...then he added some oregano and turned me into a pasta dish! It was so authentic, Leonardo Davinci came back from the dead just to taste me, and I taught him how to paint better! We’ve been married for two years now.

6points

Steven Dirkson 3 years ago

Mmm- I smell an impasta

0points

DKS 001 5 years ago

if you get bit by a spider ... (sucking out the venom is not it) https://osumarion.osu.edu/SpiderWeb/IfBitten.htm#:~:text=There%20is%20little%20that%20can,a%20spider%20bite%20at%20home.&text=DO%20NOT%20attempt%20to%20suck,severity%20of%20a%20spider's%20bite.

5points

Amanda Flesher 5 years ago

You didn’t learn to avoid the spider after the first time you got bit? Really?

3points

Bored Little Panda 5 years ago

Italian herb...golden girls....pesto...

3points

#26

Schools Sure Are Conscious Of Students' Music Tastes Nowadays

Final score:

97points

POST

Full of Giggles 5 years ago

Teenagers scare the living s**t out of me.

122points

Blue 5 years ago

They could care less as long as someone will bleed

26points

SirPatTheCat 5 years ago

Damn maybe try darkening your clothes and striking a violent pose?

19points

Andrea Serrano Morales 5 years ago

im scared of the same generation im in XD

12points

Purr·maid 5 years ago

There's a song that goes: "Young, dumb, broke high school kids..." Check it out. It's pretty catchy: https://youtu.be/IPfJnp1guPc

7points

Soap 5 years ago

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julia 5 years ago

me too, and i am one

5points

Purr·maid 5 years ago

Emos scare the living s**t out of me.

5points

Ghost 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

⚞ Katniss Everdeen ⚟ 5 years ago

THEY COULD CARE LESS AS LONG AS SOMEONE'LL BLEED (this song is really good, 10/10 would reccomend)

3points

ZooMom 5 years ago

All together now!!!

1point

Capelli rosa e patate 5 years ago

They won’t leave me alone I swear! 😂 they were my JAM in college 😂

1point

Torchicachu 5 years ago

BOO! did that scare you

1point

Abigail Hill 3 years ago

I'm a teenager. Boo. (I'll bet you're absolutely terrified.)

0points

Janelle Madison 4 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Annie di Angelo 5 years ago

BOO!

0points

Debrina Blackmoon 5 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

BOO! ALIENS! SPORE! Hahaha, i gotcha!

0points

Debbie Burton 4 years ago

Hahahaahha.... are you scared of toddlers too? hahahaha

-1point

OrangeChicken 5 years ago

THEY GONNA CLEAN UP YO LOOKS WITH ALL THE LIES IN YO BOOKS TO MAKE A CITIZEN OUT'A YOU

5points

Rick 5 years ago

A national helpline was set up when Take That split in the 90s. This isn’t unbelievable.

4points

Sasha Kuleshov 5 years ago

And when Michael Jackson died they gave us the day off (:

2points

Heather Reynolds Atwood 5 years ago

How do you have a chemical romance anyway? lol

2points

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago (edited)

First you find C4H5As or 1-(2’’-hydroxyl cyclohexyl)-3-[aminopropyl]-4-[3’-aminopropyl] piperazine, then you mix it with the gene that encodes L-fuculokinase. After a while, you'd get ((Mg,Fe2+)2(Mg,Fe2+)5Si8O22(OH)2). But be careful with the 1-(2’’-hydroxyl cyclohexyl)-3-[aminopropyl]-4-[3’-aminopropyl] piperazine, because it might synthesize nonacyclo[11.7.1.112,18.03,16.04,13.05,10.06,14.07,11.015,20]docosane instead.

0points

Lauren Caswell 5 years ago

Who else read that as emus? Just me? Dang.

1point

WildBerry 5 years ago

I wish it would be emus.

0points

BoredDragon 5 years ago

Yes, please don’t bore us.

1point

Scratch 5 years ago

This is obviously a joke. Geez.

1point

David K 5 years ago

Yeah, your principal sure had some love for chemicals (oops).

1point

J&B FitzTubeKidz 4 years ago

This is more of a joke than anything.

0points

#27

3-Year-Old Is Wiser Than Us All

Final score:

97points

POST

Roman Hans 5 years ago

Did you tell him the nickname “Smartass” will never die either?

91points

Blue 5 years ago

s**t this made me laugh

8points

WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago

rebecca1-5...e5b16b.jpg

18points

DKS 001 5 years ago

if your 3 yr old is smarter than you, what does that say about your lack of intelligence?

12points

tuzdayschild 5 years ago

My 3 year old once said, "the music of Beethoven is as immortally beautiful as a burnt orange Caribbean sunset." I did find this a little odd since I don't have kids.

11points

Csaba Hegedűs 5 years ago

You forgot the classic reply that made it into a meme: "Oh f* off Rebecca, he didn't say that."

11points

Marcin Bulus-Trando 5 years ago

The famous Rebecca quote :)

1point

MoonCrusher 5 years ago

when you see an age under 5 it's a lie.

5points

MoonCrusher 5 years ago

that quote's already on the internet, just changed it up a bit.

1point

Ty Stratton-Quirk 5 years ago

Uh huh...how many dead languages are there?

3points

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

230 between '50 and '10.

1point

Elena B 5 years ago

No wonder hes smarter than you

3points

🧈Beanie the Dog🧈 5 years ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Ghost 5 years ago

damn that kid's gonna get bullied for being a smartass in grade school.

2points

S. 5 years ago

That is a pretty quote, why not attribute it to yourself instead?

2points

BusLady 5 years ago

They want you to think they have a future Einstein there :-)

4points

#28

Her Bio Says She's 21

Final score:

93points

POST

Capn_Ahab 5 years ago

The police turned up. My son was arrested. He said "sorry I lied mom, I turned out like Dad".

200points

Kade MacNeill 5 years ago

I don't want to laugh, but I can't help it

53points

Gabriella Peach 5 years ago

I feel bad for laughing too, sorry

14points

Imposmate 5 years ago

(•_•) dafuq did i just read

12points

Joseph Rychetsky 5 years ago

Lmao

6points

n i k o 4 years ago

One direct ticket to hell, thank you.

4points

strong squidward 4 years ago

OOH SAVAGE!

1point

Duck 4 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Rick 5 years ago (edited)

Isn’t this just one of those things popular in the 00’s that people used to post on their profiles? Not that they are actually trying to pass it off as themselves...

21points

Pearl Of the SeaWing RainWings 5 years ago

It said "this story makes me want to cry" so I'm thinking maybe this isn't actually their story.

11points

Banjo Peppers 5 years ago

Well it says “this story makes me cry” so I think she was just sharing it and not claiming it happened to her.

7points

Wild_Gooseberry 5 years ago

I only logged in to upvote your comment. How can people not see that this is someone else's story and she is just quoting it? If that happened to her she wouldn't say "that story makes me want to cry"

4points

BusLady 5 years ago

But how old does she look in her profile pic?

7points

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

1980s.

1point

Minnie-me 5 years ago

"I got panicked"

5points

Steven Dirkson 3 years ago

PANIK

0points

eezycheezes101 5 years ago

I HATE how people make up stories about being raped/sexually assaulted. People have been killed, killed themselves, and serious mental things have gone on in their lives. It's not fair.

4points

WildBerry 5 years ago

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Sona 5 years ago

What in the-

4points

ADHORTATOR 5 years ago

Unbelievable

4points

Black Panther 5 years ago

He went home not came then how did that lady meet her son ??🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

3points

#29

Hmmm

Final score:

91points

POST

Troux 5 years ago

And then a pianist shows up to play happy ending music while they walk into the sunset and also the sun is clapping.

217points

Pink 5 years ago

and the banana springs to life and starts singing

45points

Joseph Rychetsky 5 years ago

And the police car does a backflip into splits

5points

ravager 5 years ago

i guess she preferred the banana instead of the mother

4points

S. 5 years ago

And then the police car comes to life (like a Transformer) and starts doing the Macarena dance at 1/4 speed

4points

NuClea Bomb 3 years ago

It's true, I'm the sun I was there

1point

Black Panther 5 years ago

LOL XD

1point

Freya the Wanderer 5 years ago

Haven't you ever been tease-threatened? My grandma was always threatening to peel her kids, amongst them my dad. My dad in turn threatened to nail my head to the floor - borrowed that from a Monty Python sketch.

11points

Kisses4Katie 5 years ago

I would have been more concerned she hadn't eaten and mom wouldn't feed her?!

9points

Christian Bradshaw 5 years ago

I don't think cops are allowed to do that

5points

Imposmate 5 years ago

wow! good job on being a GREAT bystander!

4points

BusLady 5 years ago

She needs to be arrested if she's not feeding the kid.

3points

Mary Peace 5 years ago

But - if you believe the story - how do we know if the kid was telling the truth or just saying that to get more food?

8points

Sasha Kuleshov 5 years ago

Such a weird way to threaten a child, grammar was the true victim in this case :'(

2points

Orangepanda39 2 years ago

at first i thought they said "picks her up by the banana"

1point

strong squidward 4 years ago

She clearly really wanted a banana

1point

Isaiah Wallerstedt 5 years ago

sounds like my mom also, 69 upvotes on the post, let's keep it that way

1point

#30

Then Everyone Ripped Off Their Masks And Bras

Final score:

84points

POST

S. 5 years ago

I worry for the mental well being of surgeons across the globe.

140points

WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago (edited)

It is a well known fact that surgeons die during the operation they are performing due to lack of oxygen. /S

22points

Troux 5 years ago

News headline: "Sane Person Dragged Off Flight Kicking and Screaming By Officers"

12points

cybermerlin2000 5 years ago

Continued: Flight Attendant: I'm sorry but I'm going to have to throw you off the plane Me: But we are flying at 10,000 feet! Flight Attendant: Yes... I know Flight attendant reaches for the door

9points

Aragorn II Elessar 5 years ago

Me: That’s crazy! FA: well apparently mask wearers are all insane, so you’ll excuse me for it

4points

Freya the Wanderer 5 years ago

And everyone stopped wearing seat belts and bike helmets.

5points

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago (edited)

And all the trai- *scrunch* *bash* *foom* *spudow* *Hollywoodedge, Crash Train Car Mix PE111601 * *boink* EMERGENCY: USER DEATH IMMINENT *kapow* *boom* *crunch* *smash*

1point

smol doggo 5 years ago

These types of people are so overwhelmingly stupid.

4points

Ericka Hokkanen 5 years ago

I hope you realize how little sanity has to do with protecting yourself in a plane!!

3points

Debbie Burton 4 years ago

how do masks protect YOU?

0points

Joseph Rychetsky 5 years ago

His condition is being a c*ck to the people around him

3points

Sasha Kuleshov 5 years ago

And then they dropped him off the plane :D (and everyone clapped)

3points

GirlFriday Premium 5 years ago

And then they were escorted from the plane and banned from the airline.

3points

OrangeChicken 5 years ago

SANITY? don't know them

3points

I'm a makeup addict 5 years ago

me neither

0points

#31

Amen... Amen.....

Final score:

33points

POST

Nagawa (Cofa) Kishiki 5 years ago

I'm sure it is god's way of telling you it's time to buy a new flag.

58points

Nagawa (Cofa) Kishiki 5 years ago

Or maybe it is the neighbor. Definitely the neighbor.

8points

Freya the Wanderer 5 years ago

Yes, God is telling you She doesn't like ratty flags.

4points

Awesome horse lover 5 years ago

Or give it to your local scout troop for it to have a proper burning!

3points

Martha Meyer 5 years ago

If there is a God, I'm sure he doesn't care about any of the nation states we have on Earth and is impatiently waiting for the time his experiment will finally mature enough to achieve world peace and move past nationalism like that.

6points

OrangeChicken 5 years ago

The thing about God is that she's f*****g BORED. So she's stamping her soms face on peoples chips and braiding flags and laughing at how dumb we humans are...

2points

Purr·maid 5 years ago

Seriously, what are all these people smoking??!!!

2points

Aragorn II Elessar 5 years ago

That’s more likely to rip than it was before, the knot has more density so the wind can pull on it more.

2points

Sue Grigg 5 years ago

How bored is God? Nothing better to do right now?

2points

Bill 5 years ago

Drop Old Glory off at your local VFW, American Legion or scout troop

2points

Azziza 5 years ago

According to the flag code, you 1. don't fly the flag in the rain and 2. don't fly the flag at night unless it's got spotlights on it. SMDH.

0points

DG 5 years ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

0points

DogMatic 5 years ago

Sweet! Next time my hair needs doing, I'll stick my head out of the window in a storm.

0points

#32

How Do People Honestly Believe This?

Final score:

33points

POST

Francis 5 years ago

ANALysts doing ANALysis..höhöhö

48points

TheHolyFatherOfToast 5 years ago

That made me chuckle

5points

Tamsin Far 5 years ago

Yeah, sure, whatever else should analysts do but analysing around all day together.

1point

OrangeChicken 5 years ago

Funcy funcy

1point

Enuya 5 years ago

I believe if this person really is sure she saw it, then she definitely should see a psychiatrist. Hallucinations are a serious symptom of many mental illnesses.

7points

Parvati Patil 5 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

5points

Freya the Wanderer 5 years ago

Starting out with "I employee about 100 analysts" should make you smell a rat. The building in Atlanta conveniently collapsing is more proof this is bull manure.

3points

Dynein 5 years ago

Also, the organization apparently just full of analysts with no lower-ranked managers to keep the work processes stream lined and also no people to deal with the bureaucratic tasks.... nope, just a hundred analysts overlooked by a single boss, doing analysis because what other tasks would possibly need to be done in a company?

1point

H Edwards 5 years ago

I'm always at the office making sure everyone is doing analysis... lol

3points

Colin Mochrie At Its Finest 5 years ago

I like that ending better than "They stared at me dumbfounded, unsure what I would do. I joined in. Then they all clapped."

2points

Kristin Ingersoll 5 years ago

They lost me at, "I employee..."

2points

Elena B 5 years ago

Imagine if that was real though....

2points

Lorraine R 5 years ago

The thing that I really can't believe is the building in Atlanta "unexpectedly" collapsing -- how would the collapse of a building preparing for a public event not make national news?

1point

Infinite Dragon 5 years ago

Wow, I'm so glad the building "unexpectedly collapsed" so i could go home and fire ALL of my employees. This is WONDERFUL reddit material!

1point

#33

Female Nurses Love Pulling The Plug On Ugly People

Final score:

32points

POST

S. 5 years ago

Not incels making their way into the medical community

48points

Tracy Costa 5 years ago

My favorite thing about incels is that they blame women's liberation for their inability to find partners because not one of them has ever read Jane Austen where 5 women would rather live in poverty and possible homelessness than marry Mr. Collins because he is a slimy, pompous windbag.

27points

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

So he's the sail of the Mary Celeste?

1point

Evil Little Thing 5 years ago

What is a rope attempt, and how would it make a person bleed out? I mean, the obvious answer is suicide by hanging, but that doesn't make you bleed out. So like... attempting to lasso a rampaging bull that then turns and gores you?

18points

Bender Bending Rodríguez 5 years ago

I don't get incels. They hate women but wanna get with women?! Also to any incel reading this I am no chad, you'd probably call me manlet but I am happily married. Maybe start respecting women and you might find one who wants to spend life with you. Also, shave that neckbeard and ditch the fedora.

9points

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

You are the best bending robot ever. Also your brother Rico is a badass.

1point

Martha Meyer 5 years ago

Those incels all need to go see a doctor ASAP. The brain doctor!

8points

BusLady 5 years ago

I have a question: Who in the hell would authorize that?

5points

Martha Meyer 5 years ago

Don't ask for logic from incels. Their brains don't function like a normal person's.

14points

Blue 5 years ago

and then the plug started clapping

1point

Freya the Wanderer 5 years ago

Male chauvinism at its worst.

1point

SuavePotato 5 years ago

careful, you're next lol

0points

Banjo Peppers 5 years ago

If this story is true he better hope to god he never ends up in the hospital.

0points

#34

Teacher Drinks Hat

Final score:

32points

POST

Francis 5 years ago

but.. he didn't eat his hat!!

43points

CAELYN MORALES 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Joseph Rychetsky 5 years ago (edited)

We made a joke do u not get it? @thegaypandas

2points

Blue 5 years ago

yeah wtf he drank it

1point

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago (edited)

What a ripoff! There are poll experts who deliver such sayings better!

1point

Csaba Hegedűs 5 years ago

You can't really make water out of acid...

12points

phantom buni 5 years ago

And then he turned into a gremlin that was squashed between all the clapping hands

5points

Aragorn II Elessar 5 years ago

Water (just pure H20) is a neutral solution. This does not make all neutral solutions water.

2points

Lauren Caswell 5 years ago

Yeah I was thinking, water? No. Ph Neutral solution? Yes, maybe.

1point

El muerto 5 years ago

first, physics teacher knows s**t about Chemistry, because just mixing a a random base solution to and acid solution automatically would become a 100% drinkable water is strange. lets no talk about what a disolved hat is made of...

9points

BusLady 5 years ago

And then he dropped dead.

6points

Elena B 5 years ago

1. He drank it. 2. WHY WOULD YOU HAVE ACID

5points

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

2: Science!

0points

Pink 5 years ago

I knew it was wrong from the line he said. They don't let you wear hats in school unless it is for religious reasons.

2points

Storm Anne 5 years ago

that would poison him and is not possible

1point

Torchicachu 5 years ago

im not sure about the poison thing but thats what i was thinking - i would have to look it up

1point

Pearl Of the SeaWing RainWings 5 years ago

But... he drank it!!!

1point

Ghost 5 years ago

was it an ugly hat?

1point

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

More at 11.

0points

#35

Nostalgia Is A Valid Point To Grading Someone Apparently

Final score:

32points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

So they just happen to have a bar in the classroom?

23points

Aleksandra Elias 5 years ago

no, the whole lecture took place in a bar ;)

11points

Luther von Wolfen 5 years ago

Alcoholism pays off again!

2points

Freya the Wanderer 5 years ago

You get caught with booze in school, even if you're old enough to drink you're in a buttload of trouble.

1point

Zach Heimann 1 year ago

I think all that whiskey got him drunk, and he misheard everything the professor said

0points

Ryan King 4 years ago

RIP Alex:(

0points

Blue 5 years ago

Things that never happened LOLLLLL

0points

#36

In His Mouth?

Final score:

31points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

And what else was in your 3 year old's dream?

59points

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

dragons and unicorn farts and large scale coal mining

5points

Silver Frost 5 years ago

a flying donkey

3points

Blue 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

smol doggo 5 years ago

I seriously cannot believe how dumb some people are. I mean, that's literally impossible.

12points

phantom buni 5 years ago (edited)

And then the fish became a cute princess that became his toddler wife (the toddlers wife, not his dad)

8points

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

Too bad it's not a dragon. *toilet-esque teleportation*

0points

Pearl Of the SeaWing RainWings 5 years ago

And then the fish began to clap!

7points

Torchicachu 5 years ago

lol i commented that and then deleted that because someone already made the joke. thank you for being on the same page XD

1point

Brigs 5 years ago

Did you name your fish Biscuit?

6points

Glory The Rainwing 4 years ago

or Speckles?

0points

Charlotte Sandoval 5 years ago (edited)

And then, they realized the sharks were really underfed too, so the toddler commanded his new fish army to grab all the people there and feed them to the sharks

3points

Torchicachu 5 years ago

lol this is hilarious

1point

Colin Mochrie At Its Finest 5 years ago

...this was clearly meant to be funny, not passing off as real...

2points

Banjo Peppers 5 years ago

You have a weird sense of humor for a Colin Mochrie fan.

1point

Sooploosh MacSchnibble 3 years ago

fish can't eat cookies. they can't digest them.

0points

Coleen 5 years ago

And we filleted it and had it for supper.

0points

A Random Panda 5 years ago

This one takes the cake.

0points

#37

Warning: Vaccines Make You Magnetic

Final score:

31points

POST

ADHORTATOR 5 years ago

must be fake.... I refuse the fact that someone can be this dumb

59points

Katchen 5 years ago

I think the green poster is trolling anti-vaxxers.

20points

cybermerlin2000 5 years ago

Believe me, people can be this dumb and worse. My fiancee worked at a school where the teachers husband refused to believe the Earth went around the sun!

17points

RandomPandaGuy 4 years ago

Sadly, I think some people are.

0points

Torchicachu 5 years ago

lol magnet child

3points

My O My 5 years ago

Really practical! Just pic your kid up an pin it to the fridge

0points

Daniel Richter 5 years ago

I am fully convinced this writer was f***ing with the anti-vac page, because I refuse to accept that an adult could be this stupid.

2points

chuck.dont.surf 5 years ago

This is a troll

2points

Larkyn Blue 5 years ago

👌

1point

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

Ya head's a freakin' bat magnet! - Scout, 1968.

1point

Colin Mochrie At Its Finest 5 years ago

And Tuesday and Wednesday are suddenly 2 days apart

1point

BusLady 5 years ago

2 days later? Wouldn't that be Thursday?

1point

K O 5 years ago

f**k me

0points

Joseph Rychetsky 5 years ago

Bro what attracted to the car holy sh*t you’re just the dumbest idiot aren’t you

0points

#38

Found The Origins Of “And Everyone Clapped”

Final score:

31points

POST

Elena B 5 years ago

Dang thats interesting

20points

Daniel Richter 5 years ago

Are they sure they didn't clap because they were scared of the Spartans and clapped so they wouldn't get beat up?

8points

ADHORTATOR 5 years ago

" and the Spartans said nothing because they are laconic"

6points

Banjo Peppers 5 years ago

Obviously Xenophon was not an Athenian.

2points

Joseph Rychetsky 5 years ago

And the athletes started doing a personal opera for him

1point

Glory The Rainwing 4 years ago

And my cat laughed.

0points

#39

Supervegan Strikes Again!

Final score:

30points

POST

Bill 5 years ago

How do you "make" anything in a kitchen that just reheats frozen stuff from a bag

104points

Lauren Caswell 5 years ago

Ran out of chicken to make mcnuggets? Lol after I saw that gross doco, running out of 'creepy pink chicken goop' would be more accurate. Moot point though, coz as you say it's not made on site

3points

BusLady 5 years ago

Tastes better than McNuggets? That's totally believable.

10points

I Liquored On 5 years ago

I worked in Burger King many moons ago. We didn't have "ingredients". Even the onions came in pre-cut and packaged.

5points

Blue 5 years ago

and then the chicken nuggets clapped

3points

Johnny 5 years ago

The only spare "ingredients" they would have had is bits of breading that flaked off the real nuggets onto the counter. If she swept those up and formed them into nuggets and re-fried them, I can absolutely believe that customers liked them more than the real thing. Long John Silvers (fried fish restaurant) sells a dish of "crumblies", the little fried breading pieces that fell off the fish. As a kid I used to love that stuff, as an adult I can't believe I ate it, and probably have pieces of it coating my arterial walls.

3points

Mimi777 5 years ago

Most people have no idea what I’m talking about when I tell them I used to love to eat the “crumbles” at LJS. And same here looking back I’m horrified I ate that stuff as a kid and why my parents let me.

1point

JessG 5 years ago

Took a bunch of vegetables that McDonalds had laying around, put them in the food processor, molded them into that signature McNuggets shape, battered, and fried them up in a matter of five minutes?!?!? Incredible!

3points

Red rockin lobster 5 years ago

A supervisor who doesn't follow the statistics of unnecessary daily ingredients or keep spare ones in the freezer, is rather questionable

3points

Pearl_TheRapperLOL 5 years ago

Then all the vegan nuggets clapped and everybody sang a melody about vegan chicken nuggets?

2points

Luther von Wolfen 5 years ago

I believe McD could sub their "vegan" chicken for their "real" chicken and no one would know. It's all fake food and chemicals either way.

2points

Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 5 years ago

I went through the KFC drive thru one night near closing. I tried to order a few things and girl kept saying they were out. I said out of chicken? And girl said yes. I think they were trying to get rid of me because it was close to closing.

2points

Aragorn II Elessar 5 years ago (edited)

I’d believe it (edit: that they’re trying to get rid of you)

3points

#40

Haha This Teacher Is So Cool And Funny

Final score:

30points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

That's reasonable. After all, it only comes once a year.

27points

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

Unfortunately, this year, it's in your card. *gets assassinated due to the world's worst joke*

1point

CAELYN MORALES 5 years ago

This is my b-day.... so for me it is a holiday!

6points

Exotic Panda 5 years ago

HAPPY B-DAY!

0points

JessG 5 years ago

Riiiiiight, and she/he never asked the kids what holiday it was

5points

WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago

For non-Americans 4/20 = 20 April.

5points

Evil Little Thing 5 years ago

Also for non-Americans, 420 is the California police call code for marijuana, so about 30 years ago teenagers (who used 420 as slang to mean get high) started skipping school on April 20th to get high AF. Now those teenagers are mid-40s and still get high AF. But now they skip work and go to a concert or something.

6points

Henry Cheves 5 years ago

The students wouldn't be on the Zoom if it was a holiday.

2points

A Jones 5 years ago

It should be a holiday though.

1point

Coleen 5 years ago

Pretty sure 4/20 is not an actual holiday. Also pretty sure that you should not be teaching.

0points

Sasy 5 years ago

To not do so would have been Weedenism?

0points

Banjo Peppers 5 years ago

If it was a holiday why would they be on in the first place? Ugh

0points

A Random Panda 5 years ago

You do realize that the students would need to be signed on too and WAITING for you to start the meeting, right?

0points

#41

New Mcdonalds Burger "The Mclie"

Final score:

30points

POST

S. 5 years ago

Looks like they really enjoy the attention yet won't drop the name of their “one of a kind recipe” or the location of their Mickey D's.

23points

BusLady 5 years ago

Same person who "created" the vegan nuggets?

7points

Elias 5 years ago

and then the burgers clapped

4points

Bender Bending Rodríguez 5 years ago

LMAO I have a whole different picture of "burgers clapping" in my mind. IYKWIM

2points

cybermerlin2000 5 years ago

The invention of the quarter pounder deluxe. *Adds bacon* Manager rolls eyes and says with dead pan expression: How amazing... Let's celebrate your genius

2points

Coleen 5 years ago

Yes, I'm sure you did. After all, McDonald's is constantly encouraging its franchisees to add their own items to the menu.

0points

Banjo Peppers 5 years ago

WhOle

0points

K O 5 years ago

I worked there that day - was a life changing day. I clapped so much my fingerprints came off and now I'm a professional jewellery thief

0points

Joseph Rychetsky 5 years ago

And the burger clapped

0points

Blue 5 years ago

And then the burger started clapping

0points

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

So, what is it? What's the name? If you're not giving us the name, could you at least give us the ingredients so we can construct it at one of those digital menu things?

0points

#42

Goldmine

Final score:

29points

POST

Brigs 5 years ago

you must be really stupid!

36points

Glory The Rainwing 4 years ago

wait, this must be as real as a teacup poodle being alive. Which would nEvER happen.

0points

BusLady 5 years ago

The dog slipped out of the collar and escaped. He didn't want to live with stupid people.

10points

Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 5 years ago

Reminds me of the Goldberg's episode where Barry takes an invisible dog to college. Yes there is a Goldberg's episode for everything, and yes I watch that show too much.

6points

Mimi777 5 years ago

Love that show!!

0points

Blue 5 years ago

And your iq is really f*****g small

2points

Joseph Rychetsky 5 years ago

And then I found out I was just really f*cking stupid

1point

#43

Company Has Absolutely No Way Of Tracking A Severely Overpaid Employee

Final score:

29points

POST

Bill 5 years ago

Minimum wage hasn't been 5.75 since 2011? WTF

28points

BusLady 5 years ago

Pulled a Peter Griffin, eh? Remember that episode?

3points

S. 5 years ago

Where did you come from, where did you go...

1point

BoredPundits 5 years ago

Where did you come from, Cotton-Eyed Joe?

0points

Banjo Peppers 5 years ago

Wow half a year’s salary sure means you can disappear forever.

0points

#44

I’m Soooooooo Convinced That A Cop Would Go Drinking On Duty And Tell Someone While Driving

Final score:

28points

POST

Martha Meyer 5 years ago

"Drinked"

41points

Aragorn II Elessar 5 years ago

That just tells you how drunked he was

15points

Pearl Of the SeaWing RainWings 5 years ago (edited)

Pfft

2points

BoredPundits 5 years ago

'Nuff said.

0points

Enuya 5 years ago

Well, I totally CAN believe the cop would drink while on duty (quite common problem in my area) but I definitely doubt he would be stupid enough to tell somebody about it.

4points

smol doggo 5 years ago

was he drunk when he typed that?

2points

S. 5 years ago

No he was drinked* smh

0points

Blue 5 years ago

my mans seems more drunk cuz he doesn't even know how grammar works.

0points

liberalarkansan 5 years ago

Drinked.... oh yeah?

0points

#45

“I Beat Usian Bolt’s World Record In High School And Never Told Anyone”

Final score:

28points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

Oh, they forgot to give you your trophy, you say?

34points

smol doggo 5 years ago

what idiot gave him a like?

4points

smol doggo 5 years ago

hmm probably himself

4points

Csaba Hegedűs 5 years ago

Source: Bro trust me

3points

Blue 5 years ago

Oh but it was before cameras as well and before radios or any type of documenting. You know what it was before writing so there was no proof but I still did it.

1point

Joseph Rychetsky 5 years ago

Then he got 1200 grand slams in a row

0points

Julius Martin 5 years ago

Then his feet clapped

0points

Freya the Wanderer 5 years ago

I've heard similar stories of people breaking records but not doing anything to promote their achievements. What malarkey! If you set some record, why in Blue Blazes would you not want the world to know?

0points

Joseph Rychetsky 5 years ago

Exactly if u say u broke a record give me some proof other then you

0points

Sean Baxter 5 years ago

Usain Bolt could have pretty easily broken his record, but his technique when running is actually pretty bad.

-1point

#46

Imagine Thinking Anyone Would Believe You

Final score:

27points

POST

Lauren Caswell 5 years ago

If that convo had really happened, it'd only b coz the pilot was yanking ur chain. Surprisingly enough they also let u into the cockpit against all regulations. Knowing smiles all round.

78points

YosemiteCat 5 years ago

I’ve been in the cockpit didn’t know there was regulation. I was five though.

3points

Daniel Wang 5 years ago

Or the pilot just wants you to shut up.

6points

Colin Mochrie At Its Finest 5 years ago (edited)

Ooooh knowjng smiles, not claps. Funny because I picked up on "knowing smiles" first. (And all of Bored Panda clapped for me.)

6points

cybermerlin2000 5 years ago

Bit of free info. The autopilot pretty much does all the flying with the captain and crew making sure everything works fine, correcting courses etc while the autopilot keeps the plane heading in the approximate right direction, exact same altitude and the same speed. My guess is the pilot was either taking the piss or the conversation stopped after he said "correct" and then said "Get out"

6points

Veselina Bradvarova 5 years ago

NOBODY will EVER leave YOU even see the cockpit

5points

Torchicachu 5 years ago

now please explain how you can get from australia to south america for instance from across the pacific ocean? on a flat map, you would just fall off the end

2points

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

They believe it looks like the UN logo. Little do they know it's actually a velociraptor! HAHAHA!

1point

Batwench Premium 5 years ago

If it was flying parallel to the curved earth and stayed on a very, very level flight height then it would follow the curve of the earth.

1point

Henry Cheves 5 years ago

GRAVITY PULLS THE PLANE DOWN!

1point

K O 5 years ago

Their smiles were flat

1point

Joseph Rychetsky 5 years ago

(Face palms self)

1point

#47

Public School Isnt That Crazy

Final score:

27points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

Road kill? Welcome to Alabama.

28points

Pearl Of the SeaWing RainWings 5 years ago

Chip and Dale are quaking

5points

smol doggo 5 years ago

*Alabama vibes intensify*

4points

Cyan 5 years ago

My goodness how unsanitary

2points

Larkyn Blue 5 years ago

how charming

1point

Torchicachu 5 years ago

uhhh

1point

Sooploosh MacSchnibble 3 years ago

if this did happen, it means he lost a bet.

0points

Joseph Rychetsky 5 years ago

Hey guys where is dale?

0points

Blue 5 years ago

This is f*****g disgusting.

0points

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

Sweet Home Albani- Sh*t! Wrong place beginning with A!

0points

#48

All Three Came Down With Autism Within Hours Of Getting Vaccinated

Final score:

27points

POST

Martha Meyer 5 years ago

Ah yes, the new autism quick test, diagnosing people within hours! How dumb do these people think we are? Diagnosing autism takes months.

59points

fishy 5 years ago

years, even. i was diagnosed, then undiagnosed, then rediagnosed. i was in sixth grade when i was diagnosed with aspergers officially. they started testing me when i was four.

18points

Joanne Haywood 5 years ago

Years.

6points

Tobias Riley 5 years ago

Some people are so stupid.

0points

Luther von Wolfen 5 years ago

The idea that having a kid with autism is a horrible tragedy is pretty offensive. It's like saying "a child with special needs isn't good enough". That's a form of bigotry. Taken to it's extreme, it creates horrible stuff like the early 20th century eugenics movement in the US.

9points

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

Time to kick them in the eyelids, boys! *swarm of autistic bois deletes news outlet*

0points

WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago

So if the kids are already autistic, you don't have a reason to refuse vaccination anymore. You played yourself.

9points

BusLady 5 years ago

You don't "catch" Autism, you're born with it.

7points

Aragorn II Elessar 5 years ago

Well now that they’re already autistic, there’s nothing stopping the parents from getting the rest of the vaccines.

5points

cybermerlin2000 5 years ago

I love the fact that we have not long mapped the genome but for a very long time we have been capable of instant genetic manipulation with a single injection (sarcasm)

5points

⚞ Katniss Everdeen ⚟ 5 years ago

...number one, autism isn't diagnosed within an hour. number two, you can't get it from vaccines so even if they did end up being autistic, it's cause they were born with it.

4points

A Sheet of Paper 5 years ago

The fact that so many people would rather have a dead child than an autistic one makes me absolutely sick.

4points

Freya the Wanderer 5 years ago

Autism is present before birth. You can't "catch" autism any more than you can catch Down's Syndrome.

4points

smol doggo 5 years ago

It's not an illness, idiot. You're born with autism.

4points

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

If it is an illness, i vote it the best one.

0points

#49

Hole Punch Jesus

Final score:

26points

POST

Brigs 5 years ago

Your parents must be pleased as punch!

20points

BusLady 5 years ago

And the hole punch clapped.

8points

phantom buni 5 years ago

Chinkkachinkkachink (happy hole punch noises)

4points

S. 5 years ago

Elle Woods could never

3points

Cassie 5 years ago

I have been to court as a witness in a criminal trial as well as when I was a child in a custody hearing. You don't swear on a Bible in court, that happens in movies. Children are not made to swear an oath in a custody hearing when asked their feelings at all. Too many kids aren't even asked their feelings.

2points

Sooploosh MacSchnibble 3 years ago

I worship Sphere Cow the Spherical Cow. He didn't create anything but he protects us from the evil Cow Ball the Ball-Shaped Cow.

0points

Lia Hamilton 5 years ago

I thought she was gonna call it holy...

0points

Banjo Peppers 5 years ago

If you aren’t Christian you’d just say that and swear on something else.

0points

Joseph Rychetsky 5 years ago

And the water started singing

0points

Blue 5 years ago

A compulsive liar. I tip my hat to you sir.

0points

GirlFriday Premium 5 years ago

What country asks people to put their hand on a bible to take an oath in court? I know this isn't the US.

0points

#50

Why Do Anti Vax Always Make Up Crap Like This?

Final score:

26points

POST

El muerto 5 years ago

and the kid have now the most beautiful grave

65points

Gordon Hopper 5 years ago

Covered in elderberries

5points

WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago

The doctor forgot to mention bleach, thoughts and prayers, angeldust and aligning the chakras as treatment. The kid is doomed.

11points

Dilly Millandry 5 years ago

Silly... you forgot the crystals. 😮

2points

BusLady 5 years ago

Oh, I'm sure that'll work (sarcasm)

7points

GirlFriday Premium 5 years ago

What blood test shows "Your immunity is low" that isn't even a medical diagnosis.

5points

Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 5 years ago

Wow. now vaccine is a dirty word. I feel sad for her kids.

5points

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

Just like how "Germany" is gendered apparently.

0points

Colin Mochrie At Its Finest 5 years ago

**dr has no clue of child's medical past** Must be a new dr to them. Aw yeah, the elderberry. Works like a charn.

3points

cybermerlin2000 5 years ago

I bet the doctor said that sarcastically

3points

phantom buni 5 years ago

Thoughts and prayers for a vaccine

2points

OrangeChicken 5 years ago

THey can't even bring themself to spell out Vaxx...

1point

Blue 5 years ago (edited)

Breaking news: They died of the flu, and the doctor got fired.

1point

#51

What A Weird Friggin Thing To Say

Final score:

26points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

And your hands clapped. 👏

47points

Lauren Caswell 5 years ago

Causing the death of the closest million men :D

20points

A Random Panda 5 years ago

I would die inside if somebody told me that. Like, you just told me I look like a psycho murderer who kills with their hands. I mean, do you THINK I would like to look like an assasin?

3points

Evil Little Thing 5 years ago

I like this one

2points

Joseph Rychetsky 5 years ago

Then he started break dancing

1point

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

Little did they know... It was 47.

1point

Dietmar Pichler 5 years ago

I will keep that in mind for my next walk :D

0points

Blue 5 years ago

No.

0points

#52

Apparently Costco Is Not Enforcing Their Own Mask Policy Let Alone A Statewide Mandate

Final score:

26points

POST

S. 5 years ago (edited)

Kindly wrap that cape around your face in such a way it covers your mouth and your nose adequately, and make sure it's made of appropriate material.

99points

BusLady 5 years ago

This sums up the delusion that the anti-maskers all share.

9points

J W 5 years ago

lol "air hugh five" I see we're all for no masks but still social distance in this scenario haha

7points

Freya the Wanderer 5 years ago

What else does this nincompoop promote - not wearing seatbelts?

3points

Ty Stratton-Quirk 5 years ago

Look, under the ground! It's Coronaman!

3points

memeaubdoctor 5 years ago

then the cape claped

2points

Rod Egret 5 years ago

Her life must be so boring she has to come up with this kind of crap....

2points

Helen Haley 5 years ago

They should be seen by some kind of mental health expert for these kind of delusions.

2points

StealTheFruit 5 years ago

Imagine thinking that wearing a mask infringes your rights when racial minorities are literally dying on the streets.

1point

Mimi777 5 years ago

Don’t superheroes actually save and help people? Kinda like what wearing a mask does...

1point

#53

Straws At Disneyland

Final score:

25points

POST

Brigs 5 years ago

And contributed to pollution, how nice of you!

75points

Purr·maid 5 years ago

And not to mention Covid, possibly.

7points

HarperTheCentaur (they/them) 5 years ago

I bring a reusable plastic straw from home bc sensory processing disorder (if my teeth touch paper it almost physically hurts) but only I use it and I wash it after every use

1point

somnomania 5 years ago

straws account for something like .025% (by weight) of all ocean trash. single-use plastic straws, which are better for a lot of people for various reasons, are not the pollution problem. go talk to fisheries, which i think are about 40% of all the plastic waste, and all the companies that don't make recycleable packaging when they easily could, and then the government to create more recycling facilities.

0points

Luther von Wolfen 5 years ago

I gave a plastic straw to a frog who was actually an enchanted princess and she turned into a really hot chick with huge boobs, and she's rich, and she has a flying Porsche, and we live in her magic castle on top of a cloud, and the cloud is made of cocaine, and I am a god, so anybody who doesn't like plastic straws is dumb. Also, I don't wear a mask.

12points

S. 5 years ago

It's true, I was the cocaine cloud and I clapped.

2points

BusLady 5 years ago

The marine life thank you.😥

8points

Bill 5 years ago

If you are paying $12 for a shake you want the paper straw for the experience

6points

Sally Appleton 5 years ago

Happiest (read: most expensive) place on earth

1point

Pearl Of the SeaWing RainWings 5 years ago

And then...the straws clapped

3points

Anne 5 years ago

Excuse me, you stole those from Mc Donalds

3points

Kisses4Katie 5 years ago

What about the sea turtles you butt?

3points

Dodo 5 years ago

Paper straws are awful, but I still use them because I care about the environment.

2points

Bellatrix Lestrange 5 years ago

Buy a metal straw.

3points

A Random Panda 5 years ago

Dude, its's a straw. Why not just buy a metal one for like, 3 bucks?

2points

Blue 5 years ago

And also made the ocean the saddest place on earth. Great job!

1point

#54

Guy Carries Pocket Constitution Through Airport Security Checkpoint, Doesn't Need To Show Tsa Agent His Id

Final score:

25points

POST

David K 5 years ago

Yeah, every Declaration minibook comes with all your ID details...this totally didn´t happen.

26points

Blue 5 years ago

Yes. That's the point of these. None of these happened.

-1point

Aragorn II Elessar 5 years ago

Nah, if they’re carrying a Constitution around there’s three things that are likely true: one, they’re a Republican, two, they’ve never read the Constitution, and three, they’re probably that person who “forgot” that they have an AR-15 in their suitcase.

9points

Csaba Hegedűs 5 years ago

And then TSA agent was like : "OMG it's Uncle Sam himself! Messiah of the states in person!"

7points

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

And Lady Liberty glowed shiny brown once again.

0points

BusLady 5 years ago

It looks well worn. You must fly a lot.

4points

Bharathi Raja 5 years ago

needn't to fly often to make it worn, prolonged sitting would just do.

0points

Glory The Rainwing 4 years ago

Yeah, and then the roof clapped

0points

Banjo Peppers 5 years ago

Ah yes this written document proves your face matches the name on your ticket and that you aren’t a wanted criminal, go right ahead.

0points

Danni 5 years ago

And then Nicholas Cage clapped

0points

#55

Siri Destroys Science Teacher

Final score:

25points

POST

S. 5 years ago

And I can't even get my Alexa to say hi to me.

41points

cybermerlin2000 5 years ago

I believe Alexa is modelled after a teenage mind set. You have to repeat yourself, go into extraordinary detail to get it to complete a simple task, thinks it knows everything and sulks when you prove it wrong

13points

BusLady 5 years ago

Ok, Google.

8points

Larkyn Blue 5 years ago

;-;

1point

Rick 5 years ago (edited)

Erm, yeah, Siri doesn’t just rudely interrupt conversations without you asking it questions. Can you imagine if it did? “Hey Sarah, I love that dress you have on!” Siri: “That is false, you laughed earlier when you saw a picture of it on Facebook”

8points

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

*Asimov spins in his grave*

1point

OrangeChicken 5 years ago

Well, both factors come into play when determining the death of a star. There is the mass (obviously) but there is also the heat at which the star is burning, and how dense the star is. The more dense the longer it will live. the hotter and larger the star is the less time it has to live. And smaller stars don't even truly die until the red dwarfs that they are turned into burn out. a much more peacful death than that of a blue giant, wich goes out in a supernova. Sometimes black holes are left behind, sometimes it's just gas and dust to form new stars. Sometimes it's pulsars. all those star documentries weren't just a waste of my time after all! (Just kidding! Aspiring Astrophyscisist here!)

4points

Banjo Peppers 5 years ago

That’s not how Siri works, she’d just be like “showing results for the age of the star . . .”

2points

Glory The Rainwing 4 years ago

Sure, and hdfhefhfwwhdjwhdhdhwjhuijhd8473hfkw63ibsfekbcrs3bsf7e clapped

0points

Imposmate 5 years ago

and then the bags clapped

0points

Blue 5 years ago

And then the phone clapped

0points

#56

Smart Ppl Don’t Boast About How Smart They Are

Final score:

25points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

Pretty girl posts a pic: Oh, I'm soooooo ugly!

24points

Banjo Peppers 5 years ago

I never have the courage to reply “Yeah you look pretty awful” to those kinds of posts. That’s a little too mean, but my goodness the attentionwhoring is ridiculous.

3points

JessG 5 years ago

“Oh my god, I am SO smart that my school just fired all the teachers and hired me! “

1point

ƒιѕн 5 years ago

And you smell like cheeze and weed...

0points

Julius Martin 5 years ago

nooot the tiktok comments

0points

#57

Never Thought I’d See This On My Own Feed But Sure Dude, I’m Sure The Doctor Really Said That

Final score:

24points

POST

S. 5 years ago

And then the DNA clapped.

81points

Red rockin lobster 5 years ago

Acquaman and Chuck Norris, as well

15points

Blue 5 years ago

Holy f**k this made me laugh

1point

Glory The Rainwing 4 years ago

ccjdhndnd did too. as well as fjrjfd

0points

Coleen 5 years ago

As did "whoever else that has it."

0points

Rod Egret 5 years ago

But the sentence does not even make any sense at all! What does he think DNA is?

12points

Sophia Graubart 5 years ago

This isn't even a good thing. Even if this did happen, demanding pay to save countless lives with no harm to you is pure evil.

8points

Freya the Wanderer 5 years ago

What kind of selfish mercenary @$$hole wouldn't donate his/her DNA to save thousands of lives? Also, how could the doctor know so quickly that said person's DNA had mutated to resist every possible strain of Coronavirus? Besides, COVID-19 tests don't examine your DNA.

6points

WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago

Is this one of the lesser knows tweets from Trump?

6points

Nicole 5 years ago

Why lie about something that makes you look like a douchey twat?

4points

YosemiteCat 5 years ago

If your DNA really could cure it (which it probably can’t) then why the f@ck didn’t you save thousand by donating it just because you don’t gain anything.

3points

Charlotte Sandoval 5 years ago

Sounds like OP needs a dr who doesn't shout random words in a sentence

1point

⚞ Katniss Everdeen ⚟ 5 years ago

This sounds like something trump would try to do...

1point

SuavePotato 5 years ago

Even if this was real, tf? You f*****g asshole

0points

#58

Oh Really?

Final score:

24points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago (edited)

"Well you see, officer, I was speeding because my child needs to poop and we need to find a bathroom quick."

35points

WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago

Ok, so hand me your driver license and car registration real quick, so I can write you that ticket very fast.

16points

bv7hearts 5 years ago

"There's no child in the car, ma'am."

13points

Blue 5 years ago

I know that the story is fake, but my dad has had to do that to me before. I mean speed to get me to a bathroom. He's never been pulled over.

4points

Grace Galan 5 years ago

This once happened to me when I was 8. My little brother really needed to poop and we were in the mountains. The cop only let us go with a VERY fast ticket and a warning.

2points

Larkyn Blue 5 years ago

and the turds clapped

2points

K O 5 years ago

You didn't do the favour to your non existent children so how are they returning it ffs

0points

Joseph Rychetsky 5 years ago

O your child needs to defecate? Then forget about your speeding ticket you’re all good!

0points

Julius Martin 5 years ago

and then the car clapped

0points

#59

This Is Literally Not Even How Pokemon Go Works

Final score:

23points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

And the dog clapped.

30points

Aleksandra Elias 5 years ago

All Pokemons as well

10points

Christian Bradshaw 5 years ago

That's not how the game works. If one person catches something, other people can still catch it too

6points

Puelladea 5 years ago

if He had cought it, the others still would have been able to catch it, multiple people can see the same Pokémon and still all catch it.

1point

BoredPundits 5 years ago

I thought the dog had eaten it.

0points

Joseph Rychetsky 5 years ago

And the leash congratulated him

0points

#60

I Will Never Understand The Trend Of Making Stuff Up Your “Kids” Say On Social Media

Final score:

23points

POST

El muerto 5 years ago

lying in social about the cool things kids say is it's own category of making stuff upp for likes

26points

Banjo Peppers 5 years ago

It’s so weird how every parent on twitter has kids who always say the darndest things.

0points

Megan O'Neill 5 years ago

milk, strawberries, eggs, tons of sugar...oh, but the frozen part is the problem? ok

5points

Julius Martin 5 years ago

and then the ice cream clapped

3points

Pearl_TheRapperLOL 5 years ago

And every ingredient separated and they all began to clap.

2points

BusLady 5 years ago (edited)

Have you ever tasted melted ice cream?

3points

Glory The Rainwing 4 years ago

It´s like soup! Blech!

1point

MelFunction 5 years ago

Eggs in icecream?

2points

DDmaybeandor 5 years ago

Eh, my son is 7 and he was reading me ingredients and serving size off of his gummy bears last night. He's always asking me about what's healthy and what's not healthy. He's also getting better at judging appropriate levels of irony, snarkyness, respect and other social cues. I can believe this post.

0points

Chris Hardtke 5 years ago

Pretty smart for a 7 year old doing a 40 year old Bill Cosby bit.

0points

Larkyn Blue 5 years ago

OMG THAT WORKS

0points

Blue 5 years ago

Just gonna say it, most ice cream doesn't have eggs.

0points

#61

Proceeds To Take Picture Of Teacher

*Proceeds To Take Picture Of Teacher*

Final score:

22points

POST

S. 5 years ago

This lady feels like a creepypasta at this point.

34points

Kizzie 5 years ago

Thats a photoshop from the guy who made a glass window on the ceiling of his shop for his cats.

16points

Pearl Of the SeaWing RainWings 5 years ago

Yeah.

1point

BusLady 5 years ago

Of all the kids in the class, she was only staring at you? Right...

11points

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

Then she fell through, got electrocuted by the water on the floor, and then consumed by 15 headcrabs and a voltigore.

3points

Ryan King 4 years ago

She reminds me of Lua Lovegood. Also, those tiles would not support her weight.

0points

#62

I Swear Anti-Maskers On Twitter Are A Goldmine

Final score:

22points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

Then the guy coughed.

67points

smol doggo 5 years ago

And they all died.

19points

phantom buni 5 years ago

Then the mask chuckled

15points

memeaubdoctor 5 years ago

and then both of them got shot by the manager

15points

Elena B 5 years ago

Then they all died

12points

Tobias Riley 5 years ago

Then Covid 19 clapped.

2points

S. 5 years ago

And then they woke up. It was a dream.

1point

MoodyBlue 4 years ago

And everyone clapped

0points

Todorokie-dokie 5 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago

The US has the "Castle Law" which means you can shoot anyone who is intruding and posing a threat to you. How come so many shopowners do not know this law or do not use it?

2points

Aragorn II Elessar 5 years ago

Firstly, because the castle doctrine is applicable only to the home, and secondly, because many of the states don’t have it.

1point

Joseph Rychetsky 5 years ago

And die of COVID

1point

StealTheFruit 5 years ago

Then Corona clapped

1point

ADHORTATOR 5 years ago

I am sure he changed the mind of Kamala Harris

1point

Gina Beard 5 years ago

and then the virus clapped

0points

Banjo Peppers 5 years ago

I’m with this guy, we should be allowed to shop completely naked, lick produce and put it back, and pee in the ice cream.

0points

Dreamwolf 5 years ago

I hope they all get Covid and learn that this isn't about freedom it is about trying to keep the human population up. We are all so stupid. (Except for people on bored panda such as pansexualandproud who know what they are doing.)

0points

Freya the Wanderer 5 years ago

Quite a few anti-maskers and COVID-19 deniers have died of the disease. Boys and girls, can you say Karma?

0points

Luther von Wolfen 5 years ago

And then I shouted "Freedom!" and died.

0points

#63

Whoops, Accidental Meth

Final score:

22points

POST

Csaba Hegedűs 5 years ago

Back in my time in chemistry class I turned lead into gold like ALL THE TIME. What the hell do I do with all that gold. Got nicknamed Midas in school ><

78points

Aragorn II Elessar 5 years ago

And everyone clapped

21points

Elena B 5 years ago

When I was chemistry I invented the cure for cancer

7points

Kisses4Katie 5 years ago

I split the atom once

6points

Evil Little Thing 5 years ago

This one is unlikely but not impossible. My O-chem final required we draw three distinct syntheses of methamphetamine from one starting molecule. Meth is surprisingly easy to make.

5points

Francis 5 years ago

happened to me all the time back in school.. ALL THE TIME

5points

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

Y'all did nothing, i made a cold fusion reactor in Spanish Class.

2points

Sooploosh MacSchnibble 3 years ago

I accidentally created an oxygen destroyer and then saved the world from Godzilla.

1point

A Random Panda 5 years ago

And I reached absolute zero. It was a trick that I always did at parties.

1point

DC 4 years ago

Man, were we boring ... we just attempted to burn stuff, and we burned stuff. Not on accident, although it wouldn't have made any difference...

0points

Ryan King 4 years ago (edited)

Jesse Pinkman must have posted this...

0points

#64

The Pilots Name? Obama

Final score:

22points

POST

Red rockin lobster 5 years ago

Did she survive the fall?

77points

Aragorn II Elessar 5 years ago

Yes, easily, but the sudden cessation of the fall killed her

15points

TheHolyFatherOfToast 5 years ago

Yes. they gave her a parachute and was kicked out the door

7points

Pearl Of the SeaWing RainWings 5 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Kisses4Katie 5 years ago

And the plane clapped

3points

Bender Bending Rodríguez 5 years ago (edited)

Imagine this... plane clapping with it's wings. I'd pay to see that.

3points

Charlotte A. 5 years ago

Yes, I'm sure people are told to get off the plane mid-flight...

3points

BusLady 5 years ago

You forgot to mention that you work for the railroad?

1point

Torchicachu 5 years ago

honestly i wouldnt be surprised if this actually happened people are like this sometimes and its awful

0points

#65

This Sounds Like Middle Schooler Type Material

Final score:

21points

POST

S. 5 years ago

My response: 14th + 15th letter of the English Alphabet.

34points

EA 5 years ago

I was going to say 6th + 21st

15points

Torchicachu 5 years ago

literally you just made all of us count the alphabet out on our fingers

9points

BusLady 5 years ago

Clever comeback.

8points

TheHolyFatherOfToast 5 years ago

wait what would.......oh, jk.

6points

Raven 5 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Autumn 5 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

El muerto 5 years ago

and then they ripped they shirts to rub their nakedness to his manly and sensual body...or something sexy like that

2points

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

And then along came Zeus!

1point

⚞ Katniss Everdeen ⚟ 5 years ago

if anyone thinks girls would actually respond this way, they're obviously lying. If he tried that irl, they'd probably beat him up.

1point

#66

These Boyfriends Truly Are Rich

Final score:

21points

POST

Francis 5 years ago

that's some 50shades of grey s**t here :D

22points

phantom buni 5 years ago

50 shades of not working for stuff because “ my boyfriend will buy it for me!”

2points

S. 5 years ago

I'd like to see a sitcom based on this, except it's the same wealthy boyfriend in every scenario.

3points

Francis 5 years ago

it is literally the plot of the second or third fifty shades of grey book/film :D

1point

Dippin Dot 5 years ago

In reality, he just paid for her initial investment into an MLM scheme...

1point

Elena B 5 years ago

Is he a mafia boss? Like damn

1point

BusLady 5 years ago

He's paying you off. Cheaper than a divorce.

1point

Lia Hamilton 5 years ago

And the that’s how the company went out of business

0points

Joseph Rychetsky 5 years ago

Is your boyfriend bill gates or Jeff bezos

0points

Cassie 5 years ago

Soooo, you work for your bf now? Seems awkward.

0points

A Random Panda 5 years ago

And then you woke up.

0points

#67

Oh I’m Sure That’s Exactly What Happened

Final score:

21points

POST

Lauren Caswell 5 years ago

I would have assumed in a peewee Herman dress up contest

48points

BusLady 5 years ago

I think I would have asked him a Science question.

5points

Purr·maid 5 years ago

He must be very proud of his bowtie & suspenders!

2points

Joseph Rychetsky 5 years ago

Fun fact pee wee Herman did cocaine so maybe he is pee wee herman

1point

Anony Mouse 5 years ago

I'd ask him to make me some popcorn.

1point

Lia Hamilton 5 years ago

Because everyone knows that’s what lawyers wear

0points

Julius Martin 5 years ago

and then the suspenders and bowtie clapped

0points

Pearl Of the SeaWing RainWings 5 years ago

Yes, be proud of you fashion choices.

0points

Colin Mochrie At Its Finest 5 years ago

"If you could come here around ...9...yeah that would be great...."

0points

#68

Came Across This In Twitter

Final score:

21points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

Your best friend must be invisible. You forgot to Photoshop them into the pic.

47points

lil peep stan 5 years ago

she must be pretty, thats why

10points

CAELYN MORALES 5 years ago

lol!

5points

Banjo Peppers 5 years ago

Her best friend is her cleavage.

0points

smol doggo 5 years ago

Nice photoshopping skills. I can see the white edge that you didn't crop out carefully.

4points

Bisexual gamer gurl 4 years ago

and she wonders what she did to get raped later on in life

-1point

ann!kafuchs 3 years ago

What the actual fück is wrong with you

1point

WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago

And that's when your best friend started undressing you?

-1point

#69

Your Doctor Gets Paid To Lie To Your Parents

Final score:

20points

POST

Red rockin lobster 5 years ago

And that's how we'll never get rid of stupidity and some deseases

55points

Sophia Graubart 5 years ago

You have to hope this is fake

4points

phantom buni 5 years ago

Yep. Most children I have met stutter or don’t speak grammatically correct English. Then again, I still stutter and not make sense (get it?). No kid will remember the ingredients for a vaccine. Unless you’re Matilda, in which case the parents are still evil.

3points

Julius Martin 5 years ago

and then..... the vaccine clapped

3points

The Fiddler on the Roof 5 years ago

if only there was a vaccine for stupidity

2points

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

Twist: He's just acting to make you shut your piehole.

2points

ProffessorChaos 5 years ago

And then all the anti-vax Karens clapped

2points

Joseph Rychetsky 5 years ago

So now you can’t go to school and you are stupider than you were before

0points

Imposmate 5 years ago

they are a disease.

0points

#70

That Marine Showed Him!

Final score:

20points

POST

Bill 5 years ago

This one is older than dirt.

43points

Fish Boden 5 years ago

This one is actual dirt.

15points

BusLady 5 years ago

Simper Fi. My dad was a Marine.

2points

Aragorn II Elessar 5 years ago

*Semper, I assume that was an autocorrect error lol

3points

Larkyn Blue 5 years ago

riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight

1point

Tacocat 5 years ago

Ah, yes. He stood up and said to knock him out of his chair. That'll show 'em!

1point

cybermerlin2000 5 years ago

So, God didn't do it then

1point

Bender Bending Rodríguez 5 years ago

Ahh, omnipresent and omnipotent yet need mere man's help. Logic.

0points

Ghost 5 years ago

Christians scare me sometimes

0points

Aragorn II Elessar 5 years ago

Real Christians shouldn’t. Fake Christians scare me too

2points

#71

What A Weird Thing To Lie About

Final score:

19points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

So you actually told your Dr. that she's fat?

22points

Infinite Dragon 5 years ago

OMG YES!

1point

Glory The Rainwing 4 years ago

@Just JoLynn: And my name is dchwuicwencndceqnciuecwbinwadnccn (the q is silent).

0points

Just JoLynn 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

JessG 5 years ago

Nuthin’ like a good story to tell at the pyramid scheme seminar

5points

Mimi777 5 years ago

if someone tried to sell me stuff like that I would just reply with “so you think I’m fat and need to lose weight!?!”

1point

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

And then she saw my skincare collection.

1point

somnomania 5 years ago

what the fck is skinny coffee

0points

Jayne Kyra 5 years ago

Duh! Everyone knows that when you spend all your money on Pyramid Schemes you don´t have any money left to buy food with.

0points

#72

Anti Vaxxer, Nurse And Doctor

Final score:

19points

POST

cybermerlin2000 5 years ago

Then walks to counter and buys Essential Oils and some rose quartz crystals before heading to their 5 year olds funeral

13points

WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago

Docter and nurse highfiving and already ordering cruises and new cars because they know you are going to pay for them.

10points

K O 5 years ago

If they get vaccines do they not get the vitamins then? Seems a bit rude that it's either or

1point

Mimi777 5 years ago

You forgot the essential oils and healing crystals those are the real magic!!

1point

Alyssa Ramirez 5 years ago

and then everyone in the waiting room clapped

0points

Joseph Rychetsky 5 years ago

If a million bucks were thrown in the toilet and pooped on then yes

0points

#73

Who The F Says “She Is So Cognitive”??

Final score:

19points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

So now vaccines make kids grow twice as fast? What's next?

31points

Kade MacNeill 5 years ago

they have to, they only have a few years to live.

9points

Joanna Carmel 5 years ago

"She is so cognitive."

11points

Freya the Wanderer 5 years ago

NOBODY describes kids as "cognitive."

7points

Aragorn II Elessar 5 years ago

Well yeah, most people are pretty advanced halfway through their lives.

5points

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

LIFE SPEEDRUN!

3points

Julius Martin 5 years ago

in a few years she wont be cognitive at all, just dead!

3points

Joseph Rychetsky 5 years ago

The next day she died

1point

Colin Mochrie At Its Finest 5 years ago

Yup, that's how that works.

1point

JessG 5 years ago

I’m thinking she just learned what “cognitive” means

1point

Red rockin lobster 5 years ago

ahahahahahahahahahaaha

1point

#74

Free Frosty If You Work Hard!

Final score:

19points

POST

S. 5 years ago

What coffeeshop au fanfic is this

30points

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

underfell

2points

Elias 5 years ago

then the frosty clapped

6points

BusLady 5 years ago

Right before she asked you to turn that sh*t off?

4points

Joseph Rychetsky 5 years ago

And the laptop clapped

0points

#75

Family Drama All Like

Final score:

18points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

Been watching the soap operas again?

32points

WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago

Alabama?

4points

Rod Egret 5 years ago

Could be true in some parts of the US...

2points

Storm Anne 5 years ago

WOW, your girlfreind must be OLD

1point

A Random Panda 5 years ago

And then they all began singing soprano and ballroom dancing.

0points

#76

My 11 Year Old Cousin Just Sent Me This Unironically

Final score:

18points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

What a lie! You know she didn't pay for your food.

24points

JessG 5 years ago

Well, he could actually be a McDonald’s mascot, cuz he’s definitely a clown

5points

Rod Egret 5 years ago

CPR for a seizure?!?

5points

WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago

Out of the book "Things that never happened" Chapter 3, page 155.

4points

Aragorn II Elessar 5 years ago

That’s bullshit. This is America, you know she’d sue you for making her feel unsafe by doing CPR.

3points

Drew Chandler 5 years ago

And then she died! 😄😄😆😆😅😅😂😂🤣🤣

1point

K O 5 years ago

In the UK our McDonalds have bouncers to stop this kind of carry on

0points

#77

That’s Like $1500 Worth Of Games

Final score:

17points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

You're gonna need that coffee to wake up from this dream...

23points

Anne 5 years ago

I think this fool has some stolen wares he would like to sell with an implausible story

4points

Mary Peace 5 years ago

Was the photo taken in the shop?

3points

Kiss Army Premium 5 years ago

There are only 24 copies there...

2points

Joseph Rychetsky 5 years ago

Yeah I counted 24 they can’t even math right

0points

Joseph Rychetsky 5 years ago

And then they did a 2 hour play

0points

#78

Imagine Quitting Over Camo Pants

Final score:

17points

POST

Pink 5 years ago

Why? Cause she kept seeing floating heads and torsos? -w-

19points

Cyan 5 years ago

The pants probably had John Cena designs on them

4points

Bender Bending Rodríguez 5 years ago

Are you sure teacher quit? I mean, are you sure teacher isn't just wearing full camo?

4points

#79

Nerdy Girls Unite

Final score:

17points

POST

David K 5 years ago

Pizza delivery guy´s boss would likely not approve.

27points

Daniel Richter 5 years ago

So an early 20s late teen-age guy gave a girl free pizza.

2points

Freya the Wanderer 5 years ago

Next she'll be claiming he was an elf and had been riding a unicorn.

1point

liberalarkansan 5 years ago

Bitch probably paid online and is just a dumbass.

1point

Glory The Rainwing 4 years ago

Yeah, and Iḿ an athlete (I´m a nerd, and I HATE active activities... also a really bad artist)

0points

A Random Panda 5 years ago

Hahahaha NO.

0points

BusLady 5 years ago

Uh huh...

0points

#80

Pyramid Scheming Mom Teaches Her Kid Magical Thinking

Final score:

17points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

And she has a garage full of stuff she can't sell.

22points

Julius Martin 5 years ago

and then the oils clapped

4points

JessG 5 years ago

Seriously, do people seriously believe this s**t?

2points

Azziza 5 years ago

Just like Dumbo's magic feather.

1point

Todorokie-dokie 5 years ago

“View all three comments.”

1point

Aubryanna Walker 5 years ago

the kid looks like shes picking her nose

0points

A Random Panda 5 years ago

To me, the smell of Japanese sunscreen is comforting. My mom is a compulsive sunscreener. And also deodorant. Men's deodorant.

0points

A Random Panda 5 years ago

Okay, my mom uses those oils too, but only when I have a stomach ache, And even so, that usually comes with peptol bismol.

-2points

#81

Gummy Girl

Final score:

16points

POST

J W 5 years ago

and then the gum clapped for your great mooching abilities

23points

Pink 5 years ago

yes, because this girl never ran out of gum because she had won a trip to the gum factory for finding the silver ticket.

4points

Tequila4Two 5 years ago

And how did he know the right order of the numbers?

2points

Elea Bell 5 years ago

Lower left-hand corner.

4points

Emilingo 5 years ago

The 801 area code is Salt Lake City.

1point

BusLady 5 years ago

At least it wasn't used gum.

1point

Bill 5 years ago

I wonder if she likes him?

1point

Banjo Peppers 5 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Enuya 5 years ago

May someone please explain it to me? I'm not from the US and I don't get this one. (Except of the fact that the boy's post looks like an entry in some promotional contest - but I believe that's not the point?)

0points

Troux 5 years ago

She game him his phone number in individually written digits on the pieces of gum. She also wrote a little message on the pack implying that she is expensive or something? Because she thought, "This guy mooching gum off me every day...yeah he's a keeper."

8points

#82

Clearly The Cause Of Corona And Riots

Final score:

16points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

Suddenly, I have a crick in my neck. And a headache.

24points

Glory The Rainwing 4 years ago

and my back is straight (I got scoliosis so...)

1point

Alyssa Wakefield 5 years ago

I don’t even understand why someone would write crap like this?

3points

Torchicachu 5 years ago

at least im glad that she wants to social distance and stop covid - but this story is a bit farfetched

1point

smol doggo 5 years ago

And everyone clapped.

1point

somnomania 5 years ago

that's.... that's not how any of this works

0points

A Random Panda 5 years ago

This story is literally just a big ?.

0points

Julius Martin 5 years ago

omg, do people actually believe this s**t

0points

JessG 5 years ago

LOOOOOOL!

0points

#83

Move Over, Shakespeare

Final score:

16points

POST

MauKini 5 years ago

The President or Shakespear... They do have a simular writing style.

42points

Banjo Peppers 5 years ago

Shakespeare knew so many words, the best words.

3points

WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago

Trump_poem...bde0f0.jpg

7points

Hooked 5 years ago

Well....my son brought this home. Poetry-5fb...9f24d6.jpg

6points

Aragorn II Elessar 5 years ago

“So, you know, I’m a poet now, and my poems are so bigly, you know, very bigly indeed. People come up to me and they ask, “Donald, is it true that you’re a poet?”, it’s unbelievable. I’m here to tell you right now, it’s 100% true. I’m the biglyest poet ever, and my vocabulary is yuge, not like that sleepy Joe. Don’t ever use the word smart with me, okay? My writing, it’s so bigly. I write about China, my very good friend Vladimir Putin, and tariffs, okay? I write fiction too, about the fake China virus. And I can tell you that there’s a lot of people talking about it, and anyone who says that I’m not a poet is fake news, okay? Fake, all of it.”

5points

julia 5 years ago

yuge 😂

0points

Csaba Hegedűs 5 years ago

I wonder who would think 'the president' would be able to write any poem...

3points

BusLady 5 years ago

So does that make you a Poet Laureate now?

2points

Maeve Raffaele 4 years ago

Fun fact: Shakespeare did not know how to spell his own last name, so neither does anyone else

0points

#84

Aight Sure

Final score:

16points

POST

WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago

Most 15 year old children have these dreams. Nothing to worry about.

25points

JessG 5 years ago

Probably more like 12

8points

Colin Mochrie At Its Finest 5 years ago

Totally plausable. I had a 22 yr old sub who scrapped reading Romeo and Juliet in favor of the Leo movie version. I had a college professor who rather have us watch movies she had some connection to ("I know the director") , skip days, cut days short, etc, than do creative writing. Another 22 year old teacher spent more time doing handstands, tossing markers to see if they would land vertically like one did somehow once, fangirling over a perfect circle he had drawn and he refused to let anyone erase it. The school's favorite sub told stories and made weird sounds (like he can sound like water dripping) all day. He quit after getting tired of being asked to do that every time, despite being the instigator and leader of that, then he worked with me as a co teacher in a preschool.

2points

Tianjun Xu 5 years ago

6

1point

#85

Cocaine Is One Heck Of A Drug

Final score:

16points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago (edited)

You opened and drank a vintage bottle of Coca Cola worth $3000??? You can buy a lot of cocaine with that.

30points

just a hamilfan 5 years ago

Mexican coke is a lot sweeter and tastes better than American coke.

3points

Colin Mochrie At Its Finest 5 years ago

Sigh. Another post MEANT to be funny not passed off as real.

2points

#86

I’m Sure You Did Pal

Final score:

16points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

Funny, you don't look like Usain Bolt.

18points

Cyan 5 years ago

He’s that guy from above who ran faster then him in high school

6points

Csaba Hegedűs 5 years ago

You never outrun a dog...

5points

Aragorn II Elessar 5 years ago

Dogs are so f*****g fast

1point

Daniel Richter 5 years ago

How would the dogs beat the shot out of you? Did you outrun them because they were carrying batons?

3points

Mary Peace 5 years ago

"Beaten the shot" - How does that work?

1point

BlackLabOwner 4 years ago

oh yeah uh but you see my sis. did track so prob. 100x's faster than you and owns a german shep. can't outrun it

0points

Julius Martin 5 years ago

CAP

0points

#87

Ah Yes, Our Generation Is Truly Doomed

Final score:

15points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

Wait til they bring out Jerry Lee Lewis.

10points

Aragorn II Elessar 5 years ago

WhO?

2points

julia 5 years ago

first off, our generation knows who those people are.. were not that young or stupid. second, at least were the only generation smart enough to wear masks and get vaccinated 🤦🏻‍♀️

0points

Julius Martin 5 years ago

Lil Pump wasnt at coachella, they dont let that trash in.

0points

Ghost 5 years ago

oh god is this how all old people are?

-1point

#88

Yeah Ok Netflix

Final score:

15points

POST

cybermerlin2000 5 years ago

It's boring

18points

Kristin Ingersoll 5 years ago

I couldn't finish it. Sooooooo boring.

2points

Banjo Peppers 5 years ago

That’s just what a dead person would say,

1point

Dietmar Pichler 5 years ago

Thanks :)

0points

WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago

1. Netflix 2. based on an absolute Real Story. = Covfefe

7points

JessG 5 years ago

Hehe, you made me chuckle

1point

Larkyn Blue 5 years ago

um... yeah, only 1 in 100 are able to watch it because its booooring

4points

BusLady 5 years ago

I think I'll pass.

3points

chuck.dont.surf 5 years ago

Saw it, wasn't that scary

2points

Csaba Hegedűs 5 years ago

Ads are getting smarter...

2points

Glory The Rainwing 4 years ago

HA! HELL YEAH I AM! iF iT wErE rEaL!

0points

Tobias the Tiger 4 years ago

Even if it really were as scary as it states to be, I highly doubt it'd be available on such an easy to access place like Netflix due to health concerns.

0points

Diddlybop 5 years ago

Lol my name😂😂😂

0points

Charley 5 years ago

It’s a dumb movie

0points

#89

Does Homeboy Not Have Parents Or A Bladder?

Final score:

15points

POST

JessG 5 years ago

He decided he liked it, and now he lives there

26points

Boop 5 years ago

A new twist to the monster in my closet stories

8points

Ty Stratton-Quirk 5 years ago (edited)

"And then I had to drive him to the hospital because he was too weak to move! And of course there was the missing persons report filed by his parents..."

9points

Infinite Dragon 5 years ago

MORE UPVOTES!

1point

ƒιѕн 5 years ago

Did he poop in the corner?

1point

Coleen 5 years ago

And did you also provide him with a litter box?

0points

Dietmar Pichler 5 years ago

That is what happened to poor mr. potter :D

0points

Chris Creighton 5 years ago

He'll have to come out of the closet sometime!!!

0points

Parvati Patil 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

#90

Because Someone Taped Underneath A Desk Is Super Easy To Miss

Final score:

14points

POST

Larkyn Blue 5 years ago

and the test sheet claps

7points

S. 5 years ago

And then the tape started to tap dance to celebrate

0points

Anonymous Panda 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Bacony Cakes 5 years ago

LIES! LIES! WHEN WILL THE LIES END?

1point

#91

Big Jeans

Final score:

13points

POST

WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago

Attacking people for telling the truth. USA today.

3points

Dietmar Pichler 5 years ago

Reminds me of that lady, asking for pants in "her size" with more "stretch"

0points

#92

It’s True! I’m The Notebook!

Final score:

13points

POST

S. 5 years ago

I'm the entries!

10points

Henry Cheves 5 years ago

I'm the pen they wrote you with!

1point

Pink 5 years ago

I'm the pen. they mostly write things about how they hope nobody figures out their lies.

2points

Emilingo 5 years ago

wow what a poet. must be a real small notebook if you can JUST realize it rhymes, no rereading or anything.

1point

Julius Martin 5 years ago

then the pencil clapped

0points

Janelle Madison 5 years ago

And then the notebook clapped

0points

TheGayPandas 5 years ago

Is it bad that I do not understand it??? I've read it so many times and I still do not get it...

0points

Banjo Peppers 5 years ago

They’ve been keeping a journal with random thoughts and stuff and realized the whole thing rhymes. Every daily entry rhymes with another one, like a poem.

0points

#93

I Finally Get To Post Here!

Final score:

12points

POST

Csaba Hegedűs 5 years ago

She sounds like the kind of woman who thinks sexism against girls is mysogyny/toxic masculinity, while sexism against boys is being a brave independent woman.

42points

WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago

"A brave strong independent woman with an unprejudiced mind."

12points

smol doggo 5 years ago

yes

2points

Dietmar Pichler 5 years ago

It's just an example of hypocrisy

0points

The cation 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Christian Bradshaw 5 years ago

I hate sexism. Against BOTH genders

4points

Blue of the yams (They/He) 5 years ago

Sexism is bad all around on all levels.

3points

#94

Man, She Sure Showed Him!

Final score:

12points

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Colin Mochrie At Its Finest 5 years ago

Ah, sounds like a teen's fantasy. Just daydreaming.

14points

bv7hearts 5 years ago

Ok Rachel Berry

2points

Banjo Peppers 5 years ago

Lmao my thoughts exactly. “The theme was Hello, Rachel!”

1point

Dodo 5 years ago

This song is old enough that I doubt anyone at high school in the last 5 years would know it.

0points

Tobias the Tiger 4 years ago

I'm in high school and I know this song.

0points

WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago

I'm sure the guy chanted the song too, laughing.

0points

#95

Oh For God's Sake

Final score:

11points

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Elena B 5 years ago

I ordered a condom on walmart and a child arrived in the mail

52points

Colin Mochrie At Its Finest 5 years ago

LMFAO. Was it a single condom? Was the child 3 years old, vaccine-less, and made statements beyond their years that puts adults in their place, while asking for their essential oils? Sign me up.

8points

WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago

I ordered a blanket on walmart. com but instead I got a leafblower with a note "I think THIS is what you meant."

7points

Imposmate 5 years ago

as a switch gamer, this is VERY offensive.

4points

Christian Bradshaw 5 years ago (edited)

I like the switch better

4points

Aleksandra Elias 5 years ago

And then the whole Sony clapped and cheered

2points

Imposmate 5 years ago (edited)

First: It's a PS4 SLIM, not a normal PS4. Second: He has a copy of Xenoblade Chronicles 2 for the Switch, so why would he be happy about getting a demake of a console he can't even play the game on!?!

1point

Colin Mochrie At Its Finest 5 years ago

OP, can you jot down a quick note for me? Sure, no problem. And that is how you determine a faker.

1point

Glory The Rainwing 4 years ago

I once ordered a pair of socks from Walmart. I got a PS87 instead.

0points

#96

Yes, This Is How Siri Works

Final score:

11points

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⚞ Katniss Everdeen ⚟ 5 years ago

I feel like this could possibly be true, siri does accidentally send texts sometimes...

15points

Kkandthecat 5 years ago

Smh i thought there were 99 posts lol

3points

Autumn 5 years ago

MR. AIZAWA!!!!!!

2points

Julius Martin 5 years ago

this one actually seems like it could be true

2points

phantom buni 5 years ago

Yikes

2points

A Random Panda 5 years ago

This one is fathomable.

0points

Lauren Caswell 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Lauren Caswell 5 years ago

Lol i commented here instead of a different post by accident, so I deleted it straight away. Still, im getting downvoted, gotta love panda logic

1point

#97

Did They Clap Too?

Final score:

11points

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Colin Mochrie At Its Finest 5 years ago

The theater grew quiet..yeah, it was very noisy for half the movie.

11points

Colin Mochrie At Its Finest 5 years ago

That said it could have happened. But few hundred? How many people do theaters fit? He didn't say they stood and slow clapped and he became the new manager of the theater next day. Expidited the shipping on that new job. Dreams do come true, becoming managers of movie theaters and KFCS everywhere...

5points

Christian Bradshaw 5 years ago

Huh. This one is actually very possible, and pretty funny

2points

ADHORTATOR 5 years ago

Ok, this one is possible

2points

Glory The Rainwing 4 years ago

¨Few hundred¨ yeah, a theater room can only hold 20-30 people so... at least where I live

0points

Kiss Army Premium 5 years ago

When we were at the theater one time they were showing a preview for a rerelease of The Wizard of Oz. The preview said something about a "Wicked Witch... In a Ditch..." I said out loud "What a Bitch!" Everyone laughed, except my mom... she wanted to kill me. (I was in my 30s and still thought she might try to ground me... LOL!)

0points

Julius Martin 5 years ago

then The people in the movie clapped

0points

BusLady 5 years ago

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

0points

JessG 5 years ago

Oh. My. God

-2points

#98

The #1 Indicator Of Being Vegan

Final score:

10points

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cybermerlin2000 5 years ago

More like the Barista said: Are you a Vegan? Vegan: Yes! How did you know? Barista: Because you haven't f**king shut up about it since you walked through the door

56points