30 Of The Funniest Parenting Tweets We Found On The Internet This Month

Cosy!

My dog (who is terrified of the smoke detector) has started getting visibly anxious when I start to cook. Thanks for the vote of confidence.

Isn't that the message of Evan Almighty? God gives you the opportunities that produce the gaol of your prayers.

And the entire place smells like feet

Omg is THAT what’s been happening? I mean she’s 25 now and still sleeps through the night but I don’t.

Well now this logan is also friend

100%this

And it's wet

that's an emergency! :(

My boss would often Email, can we have a catch up later this morning....all good! It was such a relief. Bit worrying if it had no caveat.

I recently had a lengthy but interesting conversation about dinosaurs with some random kid. He just popped the door open and started talking about his favorite dino and I didn't want to leave him standing there, so there we were until his mom noticed 😁

Go metric asap!

That's fair

Tune in next week for "Headlice for everyone!" stay tuned for "Scabies, the gift that keeps on giving".

it's true, that's the cutest :D

Ugh my daughter used to do this 🤣

You can get a good five days out of one pair if you rotate them right. Look at my name..... I know.

I actually loved oranges as a kid, because I could put the skin in my mouth and pretend I had a goofy smile.

"They grow up so fast!"

And you being ashamed because of it is part of the problem. Just explain it's no string cheese, maybe open it to show - and suddenly there's one more human on earth who doesn't shudder when anything period related happens.

Even funnier when they're teens! 😄😁😆

It's only alarming if you laugh, point, and kick him.

Child just reminds you when you whine about your "insomnia" again tomorrow, that's where it might come from

Barry

Barry

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You stay?

That's love!

i just had rage build in my heart

Without witnesses

Unthinkable!

Lol - The nickname and that words from her child perfectly go together 😂😂

Don’t get out of the car!!

Seems like she could teach the class.

I used to drive my son crazy doing that lol

Ask "how do you spell your name?" And when they reply "what do you mean it's just A-N?" you just move to Poland..

I’m 45, and I could live on cereal. In fact, I just demolished a box of Count Chocula! 😬

But those are memories they will never forget...... Remember the time you fell and broke your leg while chasing me?

But was it there

....or in my grandsons case, stand in the surf, waist deep.

I did that once and got taken to the hospital found out I had the flu 😂

Crissy Newbury

Crissy Newbury

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My 16 month old daughter’s first sentence was “Shut up Kim”. Kim was our German Shepherd.

Werther's are good though.

Saw a Highlights magazine in the kids dentist office. Thought "hey, wonder how much a sub...HOLY S###!"

Mama's smoothie 😍🥤

Write it out and mail it to yourself quickly, before Hollyweird jumps on the Twisters XXVII idea!

Sharing is caring

But there are rules.

"Why won't you make it to your 8th birthday?"

Myself & my 4 year old watched a movie on 'normal tv' a while ago and it cut to the adverts and she says.. is the movie over? What is this? Where's the movie?! 😂😂😂

I'd be more concerned with a 6yo in a drama club. Typically, they could run the program though so there's that.

I keep being corrected on my mispronunciation of Coco Melon. Coco Puffs, that's what it is, said Papa.

As an adult, you probably shouldn't care that much

But the look of utter joy when they "find" it.

Why do we exist, except to profoundly embarrass our children? That's my goal, goal achieved.

I was never happier than the day I got to stop packing lunches

What do they want?

Why is this brave?

As a teacher, I understand. I truly, truly understand.

You made here, put her on Etsy.

The blanket!! Goddamn!! They're so fussy over this!!!!

A woman with a plan. Nice.