One of the coolest things about social media is that you get to see how many talented amateur comedians there are in the world. Witty insights, hilariously relatable quips, and sarcastic social commentary are their bread and butter. However, they can sometimes get lost among the flood of posts in your feed.
We want to bring a bit of sunshine into your lives, so our team at Bored Panda has collected some of the funniest posts that people shared on X (formerly Twitter) this November. Keep scrolling to see our roundup of the best tweets, and enjoy a good laugh.
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Dividing the big task into small tasks is already a task, so technically I already did a task today, so I'm done for today.
The problem with breaking a big task into smaller tasks is that now I've got 15 things to do instead of just one. How is that less overwhelming??
In a different post I said something about how I REALLY need to clean my dishes, but it felt so overwhelming. It was suggested that I tell myself I'm just going to wash one plate, do it, repeat (but it doesn't have to be repeated right away). So maybe in a way like that?
Load More Replies...I've been a man for a very long time and didn't even know there was such a day. I really don't know why we need one, unless it includes a paid day off from work.
When I was a kid my best friend's brother whined about why there's Black History Month but no White History Month? My answer was "every month is White History Month" and even as a kid all of that seemed so self-evident. Like, X% (at this point but was much higher just even a few decades ago) of society is catered to men. Straight White Men and just White People are like that kid who has other kids over for playtime but hogs all the best toys for themself. The other kids make the best of it and have fun playing with what have. The greedy kid sees them all having a good time, so screams about why can't he have those toys too? Toys he didn't care about until he saw that other kids we enjoying them. That's White people, whining about other people having something (anything) for themselves and crying about why they can't have that when like most of everything is catered to them. lmaoo
who do she think organize someing for woman when they have a thing?
He's like the penguin the others push into the sea to determine if there are any nearby predators.
The more you laugh daily, the better. Humor, while deeply enjoyable, is also utterly fantastic for your physical, mental, and even emotional well-being.
And the cool thing about laughter is that your body doesn’t see much of a difference between whether you’re laughing spontaneously or faking it. Simulated laughter can be therapeutic, too.
So, one of the best new habits that you can pick up is seeking out opportunities and content that you know will likely make you laugh… or to intentionally make yourself laugh.
Or "no income tax, no VAT, no money back, no guarantee" ;-)
Load More Replies...Logically the father only needs to give his daughter away once. The ex husband should be giving her to the next guy.
Hey, I love giving my used toys to someone less fortunate!
Load More Replies...The toast begins with "Hello everyone! It's great to see you all here again! We've missed you!"
(Best Man speech) "WELCOME BACK EVERYONE!! Ok, half of you."
Unfortunately, ours screams at random times during the night too. I've tried having a sensible conversation with him, about how the entire neighbourhood now knows he's an idiot too, but he doesn't seem to care.
Show him a box of shake-n-bake. That might fix him! :)
Load More Replies...Did you just read the restaurant's reply in Mexican accent as well? 😄
UCLA Health has some great advice for how you can introduce a bit more humor into your life. For one, you should reframe your perspective on humor. Make it a habit to look for humor in everyday situations.
This includes embracing embarrassing mistakes and giving yourself permission to laugh. “If you spill your tea, find the funny in it. If you see something funny, don’t hold back your laughter.”
That is the most unusual tortoiseshell/calico I've ever seen. It almost looks like a chimera.
Load More Replies...Rarely do lifelong cat people see something as surprising as this. LET US BEHOLD.
Let's not mention Wodensday, Thorsday or Freya's day as it's might upset some Christian folk.
Load More Replies...Probably the same idiot who put the "R" in February. (In Philly, it's "Feb-You-Wary" LOL!)
Hey , it's not so bad , you could live in Tipton like me . . .
Load More Replies..."Not appropriate" = "I do not like". If someone means "illegal" or "immoral" they'd say so. It's an attempt to make something sound very bad without actually lying about the law.
Load More Replies...Does the fact that the aunt might have been smart enough to realize marriage wasn't for her really invalidate her opinions on marriage or any other subject?
Load More Replies...Traditionally (ie according to my mother's family!) virgins wear their hair loose, married women wear braids and/or cover it.
Something else that you can do is intentionally schedule breaks for laughter. Essentially, this means that several times each day you slow down and carve out a few moments to look for something funny.
You could look for hilarious posts about internet humor (hi!), watch funny videos, put on a few minutes of stand-up shows by those comedians you love, or reach out to the funniest people you know.
Little Lappmes. They are bold and will eat from your hand if you hold out (say) pine nuts.
Vultures aren't so fussy - they will eat from your hand even without pine nuts
Load More Replies...IKR? Remember that Star Trek episode where the aliens didn’t have bodies, they were just brains?
"I ... I lost consciousness!" "Yes, you fell asleep."
Load More Replies...Yeah. the thought of having to wash my body every day until I die is somewhat overwhelming
Just wait til you get to the age when the universe chooses one body part a day to remind you you're getting old.
Watching or reading hilarious content online is fairly easy if you have an internet connection. But if you want to take things a step further, you could think about combining laughter with exercise and being social.
Laughter yoga, for instance, uses breathing and movement exercises to encourage laughter. And, since you’d be signing up for a class, you get to meet lots of new people.
It’s a huge win, considering how important positive relationships are for your overall health, happiness, and longevity.
There’s a solution that Gen Xers know. Get a job, the she wipe appreciate unloading a simple dishwasher
According to UCLA Health, adults laugh approximately 15 times per day. While this might sound like a lot, it’s anything but. For comparison, children laugh around 400 times daily!
Laughter improves your immune system, making you more resistant to germs and infections. On top of that, it also lowers your (chronic) stress levels. This, in turn, reduces inflammation. The knock-on effect is that you are less at risk of heart disease, diabetes, and other chronic illnesses.
The gray days and the below freezing weather tend to keep one inside. But those are the best days to go to the aquatics center for a swim. I come out after a nice workout and a hot shower and feel like I spent the day at the beach!
I mean, for real - there's one in my city with no paint or sign - i feel like The Dukes Of Hazzards when I hit it
Why do you say that like you hit it regularly? Shouldn't the first time have been enough to make you realise to slow down at that point in the road next time?
Load More Replies...Even a single session of laughter has huge benefits for your body, reducing the levels of cortisol, a stress hormone, by around 37%. One laughter session also relaxes your muscles, lasting for up to 45 minutes.
It’s not quite important how long you laugh or what your reason for laughing actually is, so long as you laugh.
I just want to understand this, sir. Every time a rug is micturated upon in this fair city, I have to compensate the owner?
I'm reading all of these things without socks. Am I doing it wrong, or am I gifted?
Me too, but I'll confess to having cold feet 🤔
Load More Replies...He takes your money and then ditches you on the mountain and runs off with all your stuff.
Load More Replies...I had a teacher tell the story of going to a shoe store for a pair of sneakers and having an overly helpful clerk ask him, “ What do you want them for? Running, tennis, cross-fit? What do you do the most?” “Typing,” my teacher replied. “Do you have any typing shoes?”
Hah, I used to work there! These are sold at a Canadian bookstore chain that's like Barnes and Noble. Everything is for reading: reading mug, reading candles, reading pyjamas...
I intentionally went in for a new ID photo looking scruffy, tired, and a little cranky. That way, it's accurate most of the time.
I did similar, went in with oreo cookie in my teeth
Load More Replies...I always try and make myself look even less of a criminal, even though I'm doing nothing wrong.
When I'm looking at items that are easily pocketed, I always clasp my hands behind my back in my patented "I'm not touching anything, I'm not taking anything, I'm not breaking anything" stance.
Load More Replies...Furthermore, regular laughter improves your heart health by boosting your heart rate and respiratory rate.
Moreover, laughter relieves pain by releasing endorphins, a feel-good chemical, while also boosting your pain tolerance and changing your perception.
I still need to see the godfather. I'll get around to it, is it still for rent at blockbusters?
On top of that, embracing humor in your life reduces anxiety and depression through the release of dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins, chemicals linked to pleasure, motivation, and learning.
Laughter is also a great way to connect with other people, improving your sense of connection and belonging.
Being an adult mean you can eat whatever you want for breakfast because who's gonna tell you no?
My wife but she's usually the one eating ice cream for breakfast.
Load More Replies...I would never eat ice cream for breakfast because the sudden cold might wake me.
I lost mine some years back when I was a printer. I looked EVERYWHERE and could not find it. My press had a coating station that was essentially a sump kind of thing with the coating in a giant pail in the floor. It came time to wash the pail and when I dumped it out came my ring. I have no idea how it wound up in that bucket, but the sigh of relief could be heard outside.
As Healthline points out, laughter improves closeness and trust in your relationships. “Sharing a genuine laugh with someone builds emotional bonds and encourages openness and vulnerability.”
Meanwhile, laughter also promotes empathy and can help you defuse tension and resolve conflicts.
By embracing humor, you also boost your emotional resilience by becoming more optimistic and hopeful.
The other day I overheard "Just because there's a goalie, doesn't mean you can't score" and laughed until I realized these were literally two teenagers talking about f*****g a married man with kids. My hope in humanity slipped further away after that.
Girls need to stop by the aquatics center to see us 70 year olds with the bods of 20 year olds.
How do you explain to the police where you got them?
Load More Replies...I was walking some Norwegian show. I speak no Norwegian. I thought it was funny that the two words that sounded exactly the same as English were (if I remember correctly): "bookcase" and "idiot". Of all the words.... (If someone here speaks Norwegian, tell me if it's true about these two words. I'm only about 95% sure that it was those two words.)
Idiot is the same in both languages but bookcase is slightly different (bokhylle or bøker).
Load More Replies...After you’ve upvoted all of your favorite tweets from November, we’d like to hear your thoughts in the comments, Pandas.
Which of these posts did you genuinely like the most and why? What style of humor do you typically enjoy? How often do you entertain your social media followers with your witty posts? How often would you say you laugh each day? Let us know in the comments!
After a certain age, you get gas just about every morning whether you own a car or not.
PSA: it is eventually cheaper to buy an annual lounge pass than a sandwich at the airport if you travel more than, say, once a year....
And the food is better and the chairs much more comfortable.
Load More Replies...Absolutely brilliant 😄 I am absolutely mindblown! I love people who can think outside the box like this, because in all my 40 years I have NEVER thought about why they're always on the top. I wanna be friends with people like this (and keep a little fire extinguisher by my side at all times, just to be sure)
Does the birthday person spin the cake, or run around it to blow out the candles?
I need to remember this for the next birthday in the family ...which is dad's. Gonna need 84 sideways candles.
For my grandma's 80-something birthday I crammed 80+ birthday candles on 2 cupcakes. It looked like 2 porcupines and produced a frightening large blaze when lit. I thought it was hilarious. Nobody else did.
There is absolutely no risk in asking me any question whatsoever. (Your peril will lie in relying on my answer.)
My parents made it clear that there may have to be consequences if I tell them about something bad I did but they would also help me make it right. However, they also made it clear the consequences would be way worse if I lied or tried to cover it up and they found out. I never had an issue opening up to them.
Idk I could sure use some of the nice daylight, I hear it has mental health in it. Scandinavia in the winter is rough.
Now it’s so hot on Halloween in the northeastern US, folks wear shorts .
Nice here in the southeast it was long pants and jackets. But the temperature was probably the same in both places.
Load More Replies...Welcome to Canada 🇨🇦! Enjoy your stay! Or any state that sees snow in the winter.
They should have spelled it "whey out," in keeping with the theme.
Load More Replies...I doubt you're old enough to remember the song "Eve of Destruction" by (I think) Barry McGuire back in the 1960's, but that's what your post made me think of immediately.
Load More Replies...Just by waking up, I have already made the worst time management decision possible.
You can make me get up early, but you can’t make me stop puttering around and wasting time.
I read the first part of that in the tune of " a man without love" by Engelbert Humperdinck.
How would the emergency brace position work, do they shout jump as the plane crashes into the ground or do the seat belts cut you in 2?
Not very inclusive. I can’t stand from my autoimmune diseases so what would they do with me?
Any restaurant suggestions? Looking for something with meat on the menu.
Make sure you check that they aren't' just sewn shut! I've read many a story about people who wondered why their pants or coat had "Fake Pockets" only to realize they are actual pockets that had been sewn shut. Apparently doing this helps preserve the shape and structure of the garment? Not an expert, just want to make sure you don't miss out on that prime pocket real estate!
You mean you don't check before you buy the jacket? If that's the case, whatever reaction you have is on you, rookie.
There’s this thing called “online shopping” now lol
Load More Replies...I always wanted to take a class with Dr. Hunk but he was a Geology professor and my major was neuroscience.
I do not see the problem with having a hot dad... I would take it as a compliment to My gene pool
I shudder to think what he would do if he was told to " Look it up in your Funk & Wagnalls"................
Quite recently! A back leg on the living room couch broke.
Load More Replies...It's clear he never had to figure out how much meat his wagon could hold on the Oregon Trail.
Aw but it's so much easier to get inaccurate information from the water guzzling robot that agrees with everything you say.
It's a well known fact that the internet is dumbing us all down down down!
And in case you don't know where the link is, it's the teeeeeensy writing just above the up & down arrows.
Load More Replies...Idk. Kinda reminds me of the old joke. What did the blind man say as he walked past the fish market? "Morning, ladies!" Haha
fun fact: the only reason they made the guide is so people would drive longer distances to 'good' restaurants and wearing down their tires faster :) so the guide was a way to sell more of their tires lol. Also the reason why he is white: when he was created tires were still white :)
I knew about the tires wearing down goal, but not why the Michelan Man is white, nor did I know that tires used to be all-white & not just a whitewall. Thank you for letting me be part of today's lucky 10,000 :-)
Load More Replies...One year the Michelin Man couldn't make it to the ceremony so the Pillsbury Dough Boy filled in for him.
And battery. And carburettor. And.... (depending on UK location....)
Load More Replies...Even though I've never had this experience while walking the Capital Wasteland, I still vibe with this mood.
Your rapper name is "Lil" + the name of the transportation device you would buy after winning the lottery.
Lil 1957 Chevy Nomad 2 Wagon. Hhmmm.... doesn't really roll off the tongue, does it. 🤔
Load More Replies..."So, how was school today?" - My father, who had NEVER asked me that question before, at dinner, when I was fifteen, on a day I had skipped school.
It helps if you know the geography of the area. Bury is erm, how to put this nicely... small, old fashioned town to the north of Manchester - near Ramsbottom. (It's where black puddings are made)
the elf style videos will always be a hundred times better than any AI slop.
In a blue-collar area - open by 5. In white-collar area - open before 7.
