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40 Hard-To-Believe Funny Stories, As Told By Folks In This Online Community
Do you know the difference between good sitcoms and second-rate ones? Due to the fact that there is not always enough money for screenwriters, not-so-original scenarios and jokes are often used in the second kind of shows. As a result, we understand that this or that plot twist is completely unnatural, and of course, this never happens in real life.
We honestly don't know who writes the scripts for our lives, but it seems that this guy also sometimes uses hackneyed plot moves. We can all agree, each of us has had some moments in our lives when things happened that no one would have believed if told.
There is a recent popular thread in the AskReddit community whose topic starter asked the question: "What's a funny memory you have that if you told someone, they'd think you're lying?" The result was almost 33K upvotes and nearly 10.7K different comments, which prove that our life is sometimes very much like a sitcom.
Bored Panda made a list of some of the most amusing, incredible and sometimes bizarre stories from this thread for you. These tales are simply unbelievable, but at the same time, they are completely true. So feel free to scroll to the very end and be sure to write what you liked the most.
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When I was ditching first period in HS a cop was in front of me at 7/11. The cashier couldn’t break his $50 so I paid for his coffee with my stuff. He thanked me, we jabbed about me being “late”
To school and I noticed the tattoo on his neck and we joked about bad decisions.
Two weeks later I get caught in a speed trap and who sticks his head in my window. And he went, “coffee girl!” And I went “tat neck!” And got let off with a finger shake.
I got saved during a blizzard in the Alps by a big purple cow...
I was skiing in the Alps with some friends and we were off piste doing some jumps and stuff. I was at the back of the group and fell and twisted my knee (not quite) landing a jump. Managed to get myself a bit lost as a blizzard set in and I couldn't see s**t. Carefully scrabbled around on my dodgy knee for a bit and thought I was about to end up in a fair amount of trouble.
Then, out of the snow appeared my purple angel. A purple shape coming out of the blizzard, which as it got closer appeared to be an upright purple cow on skis.
Turns out, it was the Milka chocolate mascot, a guy dressed in a purple cow costume on skiing about the hills dishing out chocolate.
He skied right up to me and said "Hey man, you ok? You want some chocolate?"
He then skied back to the piste with me and took me to the nearest bar to get a beer.
Guess who else is in the bar! My friends who were getting increasingly concerned that they'd lost me! Milka man dished out some more chocolate to everyone and skied off never to be seen again.
Thank you purple cow angel, you saved me that day and gave me chocolate!
A friend once called the wrong number, got the wrong house, and had the right person pick up.
So, I was at work, replacing a modem for my boss. I'd removed the modem and connected a telephone to test that it had dial-tone.
Soon after, the phone rang. It didn't make much sense, because that phone line had only been used for outgoing calls from the computer.
When I picked up, the person on the other line just said 'Hey man, you want to see a movie later?'. I recognized the voice, too. It was a friend of mine. I was really confused for a second and said something like 'Josh? How did you get this number?'. He said he called my home phone number.
He must have misdialed my number, and accidentally dialed the number for my bosses modem line, at work.
He called the wrong number, got the wrong house, and the right person picked up, on a phone that had only been connected for 2 minutes in the past 2 years. The odds must be astronomical.
It's just a weird coincidence that I'll always remember.
So I worked for the IRS collecting taxes several years ago. I had seized someone's car and the IRS sales people were in the process of selling it. IRS procedures around some of this stuff are ancient. One of the procedures are to post a notice of sale in three public locations.
So I go to the library to post a notice of sale. The person on the ground floor says that I'll have to talk to Steve on the second floor to see if it's ok for me to post the notice of sale on the bulletin board. I walk up the stairs and see a guy sitting at the desk.
Me: "Are you Steve"
Steve: "Who's asking? The IRS?" (In a playful manner)
Me: <long pause> "Yes, in fact. My name is XXXXXX....."
Steve: <just about falls out of his chair> "Jesus Christ! I've been using that joke for 20 years! I never thought anyone would ever say yes!"
Started college. Saw my brother's best friend on campus, from a distance. Hard to miss: Nate's 6'6", skinny, long brown hair. Fitting of our childish friendship, I straight up open-field tackle the guy. From behind. Blindsided.
It's not Nate. I apologize, and sheepishly run away. Three hours later, a girl friend from high school introduces her new boyfriend to a group of us. It's the guy I tackled. Danny. Super nice (and forgiving) guy.
We've been friends for 15 years.
Meet cute/ugly friendship. A fic writer should take some inspiration.... just saying
"Me being black does not mean I am good at basketball!" I said before lazily throwing the ball backwards over my head for a 3 pointer
BAHAHAH, I grew up with a British parent and so I learned phrases and weird word pronunciations at a young age. Some kids in elementary school were teasing me about being English, not Canadian and I got frustrated and yelled at them "I'm not bloody English!" In an unintentional imitation of my dad's angry voice. Yep, I apparently yell with a British accent. Or used to anyway, lol.
I went to see some London fireworks around ten years ago - not NYE, it was the Mayor’s parade or something - and we’re all on the bridge waiting quietly for the show to bedazzle us.
A tipsy fella and some tipsy ladies were singing *Be Our Guest* from *Beauty and the Beast* but got stuck on a certain bit and couldn’t remember the line…
Flash back to 10yo me sitting in front of the telly watching a VHS of *Beauty and the Beast*, scribbling the lyrics for that very same song onto some paper.
See, my class in school were putting on a BatB play but we didn’t have lyrics. I can’t sing for s**t but I’d valiantly offered to transcribe them, not realising the Herculean task ahead, trying to decipher some of the words.
The play never happened - a shame because I’d been cast as Gaston - but the lyrics for *Be Our Guest* would forever be seared into my brain, waiting for their opportunity. One day.
And fan my brow, opportunity had finally come knocking!
But I was so nervous. I was sweating. Maybe even shaking.
Somehow the stars aligned and the universe bestowed upon me the courage to help these these inebriated revellers who were clearly in over their heads.
I waited for someone, anyone, to join in.
No takers.
It was now or never. Well, it was *then* or never.
I prepped my dodgy French accent and started singing:
*“Life is so unnerving,
For a servant who’s not serving.
He’s not whole without a soul to wait upon…”*
It was like a film. People turned around and made way as I started shakily walking towards them.
*“Ten years we have been rusting,
Needing so much more than dusting!
Needing exercise! A chance to use our skills!
Most days we just lay around the castle…”*
They turned around beaming, the dude put his arm around my shoulder and we sang the rest of that bit together:
*“Flabby, fat and lazy,
You walked in and oopsie-daisy!”*
We high-fived, onlookers clapped, and I shakily walked back to join my mates. Once I’d come to my senses, I asked why none of them had filmed it!
I’m not sure if anyone else filmed it. I remembered seeing cameras pointing at us so I hunted around YouTube for a while after that but eventually gave up.
Regardless, such an opportunity may never appear again and I’m so glad I temporarily had the guts to just go for it.
I tell everyone this, I dunno if someone would think I'm lying about it though. But it's just too funny for it to be real, in my opinion.
Roommate walked in and said "did you hear about Steve?"
I said "unless he's dead, I don't want to hear about it."
There was a moment of silence. Followed by
"...Tiffany.... "
Sure enough. He's dead.
Edit: My name is Tiffany. And me and the guy ended on bad terms but I did grieve his death and he is still in my thoughts every so often.
I do rape crisis work on call and had several calls in the span of a few days. I was taking some comp time after working nearly 20 hours in 2 days and my work pager (because I'm that old) went off. I said 'somebody better be dead' as I'm dialing the office. Yep, our executive director had died and they were notifying the staff. Last time I said that in response to any page or phone call ever again.
I had a pet humming bird as a kid. My mom found it injured on a sidewalk and nursed it back to health. It only had one eye and no depth perception so we kept it inside. We'd let it buzz around the room, land on us, and all that jazz. My brother told his teacher about it (in 3rd grade) and the teacher actually called my mom and was like "your son has made up a crazy story and insists its real". Reality was we had a pet humming bird and that seemed crazy enough people didn't believe it.
Sounds like the teacher who kept getting mad at the boy and called him a liar because he kept saying his uncle is superman. (Henry Cavill is his uncle)
I was the brokest I have ever been living in the middle of nowhere. I was pulling my last 20 dollars out of a gas station ATM. I hit the button and it spit out 60 dollars. I was only charged 20 on my account. It sounds like such a tall tale but I swear it happened.
I once pulled up at a red light where a cat was sat by the side of the road. When the green man came on, the cat got up and crossed the road!
I once showed up to a mates house with a bacon and egg roll from maccas. He jokingly asked "did you get me one?" I did, and without saying a word I pulled it out of the bag and threw it to him, the wrapping dropped off in mid air, he caught the burger one handed, we both looked at each other in amazement, and bit straight in.
Not that I remember it personally, but I was born in a helicopter on Christmas. When I was a kid I used to say I was twins with Jesus because we came from above on the same day.
I don't mention it unless someone asks because I know it sounds insane.
Well not so unbelievable as we’ve been married 5 years now but when I first met my wife I was in Vancouver for a student program for the summer. She was a model and crazy beautiful, I was some dirty farm kid from Saskatchewan who couldn’t flirt to save his life and had never kissed a girl or taken one on a date. So when I came back to my hometown, the way I told people about my girlfriend was: “yeah I have a girlfriend but she’s a model in Vancouver and no one here has ever met her yet. Maybe one day!” Took more than 2 years for anyone to believe me
Edit: WOW this blew up, I won a scholarship to a improv camp (yes I was also a theatre kid) and she was in my group for the week, just to be clear her name is Fiona and I sang “All Star” by smash mouth to win her over. If you have any other questions please send me a message because I love bragging about her!
Edit 2: yes in my case shrek literally is love.
Ha ha. Here in the U.S. it's a running joke about a "nerdy" guy who has a girlfriend in Canada. They have an elusive girlfriend in Canada, usually a model, but of course usually it's just a lie. There was a play off Broadway, Avenue Q, that has a song "My Girlfriend, Who Lives in Canada" 🤣 🎶her name is Alberta, she lives in Vancouver, she cooks like my mother, and sucks like a hoover🎶
An eagle came for my face as a child. I was about 8. I ducked and it ended up grabbing my hair and taking some with it. I ran inside crying and told my mom. She didn't believe me so I never told anyone else. I'm 22.
Probably a situation with a nest or their chick being close by. Many birds do scare tactics like dive bombing and such and some owls will go straight for your eyes if you're not careful. The mom is an ignoramus.
I once checked in at a restaurant and gave the hostess my name to hold my slot, she then asked for my last name since the person below shared my first name. When I told her my last name, she looked at my like I was lying. The person below had my first and last name. She laughed and introduced us, and we took a pic. I’ve never met someone with my same first and last name since.
I'll try to make it short, but it's very convoluted. Florist in my hometown received an order for my sister's funeral. She called my dad's neighbor to ask if my sister had died. Neighbor says no, and goes to talk to my dad, who freaks out. He couldn't reach her, so he called me, and I couldn't reach her either, so as I am walking out the door for a 4 hour drive to her house, she calls. Many other bizarre twists and turns, but a woman with the exact first, middle and last name had been killed in a wreck. AND she had the same exact birthday to add to the confusion, and lived 15 miles apart. It was nuts!!
Names changed due to HIPAA regs: I used to process Medicare claims, and came across one that doctor was protesting-we denied the claim because the member was deceased but the doctor swore he wasn't. I finally found an obituary in a small town Tennessee newspaper showing it was a different John Q. Public who had died, (middle name was Quincy instead of Quentin) though they were born on the same day in the same tiny town that they lived in all their lives. The kicker is we only know someone is deceased if Social Security tells us, so even the government had it wrong!
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At my old doctors office me and another patient had the same name and birthday except the years were different. It messed with reception sometimes so when calling either of us we had to state our birthday and address
Google says there are four people in the US that share my first and last name. One of them owns a produce market/sandwich shop about 2 hours away. I have learned that if I show my ID, they give me a discount. I used to get calls from people who went to college with him, asking if I still played volleyball.
When my mother was giving birth to my brother there was another woman with the exact same name giving birth to her son. She was(and reasonably so )freaked out that they were going to give her the wrong baby.
My mother used to live in the same zip code as someone with her first, middle, and last name, spelled the same despite it being a first name with several variations.
I don't believe this one, because the author makes a point to tell us the hostess only asked for their last name because the person above them had the same first name. Well if that was the case then why would the hostess already have the last name of the person above them?
My name is somewhat common, but I once lived in a small town and was in the emergency room. They sent me for a CT and the tech there was very relieved to see me when I came in. Turns out, he got the order with my name on it, and it was the same name as his coworker who was off for her birthday that day.
There's a actor/director with the same name and surname as me (it's a very unusual surname as well!), we're both born in the same city but of course she's a lot younger and has her photos plastered all over the internet attending some really posh events 😁 we were Facebook friends when we had accounts there!
My step dad became facebook friends with a guy purely because they had the same name. One of his friends was friends with both of them and got mixed up who he was talking to which is how they found each other.
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Isn't that one of the first things you Google? Apparently I am a NY lawyer as well as a couple of other people.
I have an extremely common first name for my age, and, since marriage, and extremely common last name too. One pharmacy I went to had 2 other customers with the same first/last combo. My local library (which actually covers a lot cuz they are a co-op of libraries) has like 6. But the craziest was when I moved from Iowa to Oregon apparently someone with the same first, last, AND birthdate moved from Iowa to Arizona during the same month. It caused a couple of weeks of problems with registration with various state agencies.
I worked at a university where your email was your first name, a period, and your last name. I kept getting phone calls and emails about something totally unrelated to my job. Then I found out there was a girl with the same name employed at the same school. Even with a name like Sara with no 'h.' Even more odd is we are two different races!
My Dad had the same first, middle, and last name of a man in our town. Thing was this other guy had some trouble with local law enforcement. We would periodically get calls letting my Dad know there were warrants, court dates etc. Try convincing the cops you are the wrong guy sometime. It takes a lot of convincing. The last time it happened my Dad was quite elderly and in care. A cop calls me and asks if I know "John Doe" and I about had a heart attack. The other dude had apparently been stealing copper wire and pipes out of vacant houses. As usual, police wouldn't take my word for it at first so we had to go through the age and dates difference all over again. No idea what happened to the other guy but my guess is incarceration.
This happens a lot in Spain. They have legal limitations on naming your children, so you often use middle names, nicknames, etc. I lived in Mexico and it's very similar there. I knew three Raul Cortina's, none related to the other.
I had just started middle school and went to check out a book from the library. The librarian said I already had a book overdue and I explained that no, I couldn't have, I had never been to the library before. She insisted I did. I asked what it was - maybe I forgot, somehow? - and it was an issue of Cosmo. Okay, no, I know FOR SURE I didn't check that out. We go back and forth some time, her confirming, "You're Kitty Jordan?” Yes, that's me. “Kitty E. Jordan?” Yup, that's definitely me... finally, she gets frustrated and says all three names - including the middle name, Elizabeth. "That's not me!" I finally said. "My middle name's [middle name]." That would have been weird enough, but in high school, I had to go to the ER for the second time in my life. I go to check in and the nurse gives me a puzzled look. She confirms my first and last name, and my DATE OF BIRTH, and asks me if I checked in a few hours ago. Name twin had my birthday too, and had been to the same hospital that night.
Of course, there are plenty of people with my first name, but I've only met one person with the same last name as me, that, to the best of our knowledge, we weren't related.
There's a girl somewhere in my area with the exact same name as me, *and* she has a younger sister with the same name as *my* younger sister. We've never really crossed paths, but one night I got a call on the landline from some guy who asked for me by name and kept insisting that he was "your friend James" and got very confused when I said I didn't have a friend called James. Turned out he was looking for the *other* Katie. No idea how he got my number, or rather the number of my parents' house.
I'm a teacher and my class wasn't in my online attendance program at my new school. We couldn't figure out what the problem was. Turns out they got assigned to our office receptionist. We had the same first and last name AND middle initial. It was why it took so long to spot the issue.
I met someone with same first and middle name. I thought it was cool. Lol
Not so long ago I’ve participated in one running event and when I came to take my bib, the girl behind the desk looked at me and asked what is my birth date because there is another person with my exact first and last names and our race numbers are next to eachother (61 and 62 or something like that). At first we thought there was some mistake but the birthday dates were different. So I took my bib, joked that only one of us will come back and went to run. The guy finished a bit faster, after the event I found him on Strava and now we follow eachother, although never met in person :)
There are around 300 people in The Netherlands with my last name. My first name isn't also quite common, but there is another girl living in The Netherlands with the same first and last name....And we also share the same birthday. I'm 9 years older though....but what are the odds?
When I went to get license renewed Dept of Motor Vehicle did a nationwide license check, I guess that's normal. Only problem was that a person with the exact same name and DOB had their license revoked in a different state. Caused some headaches trying to prove it wasn't me. I had to carry a letter from DMV in case I was ever stopped by the police that said I did not have a revoked license in another state.
I've lived in the same neighborhood as someone with my same first and last name. Due to how my school at the time used a lot of online software they accidentally merged mine and his accounts. He was 5 years older than me.
When my father died, my mother wanted me to make sure it was true (long story, We have not seen him in years and years) So I looked for my uncle in the phone book. His name starts with an R as well as me. I have not seen him in years and years also. So I called all the people with my surname with 1st name starting with an R trying to find out. After calling a few that where not relatives, then next one I called had my same name and this person was a friend of my fathers. For many years my father was friends with someone with my name and surname. .
A bus driver told me that there was a woman with the same exact name as her, hometown and one digit off their social security number too! It's wild!
1) I actually met somebody with my first, middle, and last name, as well as have a father with e same name (I was still religious then, and they call you up to the Torah by calling you "X, son of Y"). The person was a baby, and I was talking to his father, who first commented that my first and last name were the same as his son.The rest came out after that. I never met the guy since then, but there is some dude out there who has the same exact name as I do. 2) I was looking through one of those old sites where people posted their birthdays online (in the older, more innocent days of the internet), and found somebody with the same first and last name as my wife, as well as the same birthday. They connected, but ironically found that they had nothing else in common...
The combination of my first and last name is very common in my country. Years ago, I left my job with an organization, but since then, at least two more people have worked there who has the same first and last name as mine... Some of my ex-colleagues who still work there have at times shared my phone number with others when they meant to share that of another Arafat Rahman, and then I got business calls... I should add that while my full name is Mohammad Arafat Rahman, I go by Arafat Rahman...
I live 2 houses from a girl who has my same first and middle name, and our last names differ by one letter (think Cole and Coke). We were born in the same year, same month, less than 10 days apart, in the same town. My mom has a similar deal going on, she's almost been arrested because a woman from our hometown has the same name as my mom (maiden and married!) and they were born in the same year. I want to say their birthdays are off by a month, but that experience for my mom was the best way to teach her to always have ID on her.
Oh, and my married name I share with a famous HGTV remodeler lady. I don't watch those types of shows, but FB algorithms got messed up at one point and fans of her show and such were being directed to my modeling page.
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I met a girl in a pub,her name was Eithne,same as mine.The kicker was we both have an older sister called Maire (spelling correct,Irish version of Mary)
According to googling I did when I was in high school, there are lots of people with my first and last name, even some with my middle name as well. I haven't met any in real life though. My dad has met someone with his first and last name, but he knew he existed from when he was young because he was an afl footballer and my dad wore the same number as him when he played in his local comp. Very common names though. There is also another person with his first, middle and last name, who has outstanding warrants for fraud, which means every time my dad needs a police check for a job application it is held up while they work out which one he is.
I often find that Tracy's have younger sisters names Tammy. We are always the same ages.
I was driving a friend home to Indianapoilis from Holy Cross in South Bend. We got pulled over for speeding and the cop asked me "Son do you know how fast you were going?" to which I replied with a straight face and no sarcasm "Well my cruise control was set at 88 so I'm guessing somewhere in the vicinity of 88?" I've never seen such a confused look on a person's face. He proceeds to ask if I can step out of my vehicle and into his so he can talk to me while he writes me a ticket. I comply and as he's writing me up he's explaining to me how he had to do his Sherrif training in Indianapolis. He said thatt the one thing that amazed him was how fast locals drive esp on I465 and he understands why I'm conditioned to do so. Soon as he's done with the ticket he turns to me and says "So here's the deal, you're the first motorist to ever admit to me you knew you were speeding so I'm gonna cut you a break. If you can make it back to Indy without getting another ticket I won't turn this one in, but if you do you're getting 2'" I slowed down for the rest of the drive.
My one speeding ticket I had the needle buried and was probably close to 100. The cop asked if I knew how fast I was going. I said "about 100" he said, " well I got you at 82" I replied " I guess the brakes work" he was not amused and I still got my ticket.
I peed on a bear once at 12 or 13. Some background I lived in a mountain cabin with some family aunts and cousins and stuff. The cabin was small but we had several acres so we had about 4 RV trailers for the rest of the family. 2 were my aunts 1 was for weed and the last and closest smallest was for children which was just my brother and I at the time.
Anyhow it was a cold wintery day with fresh snow as I wake up having to p**s so bad I'm surprised I didn't wet the bed. Im groggy as hell and my eyes are barely open as I head to the trailer door and open it start my morning leak. I did not notice the bear less than 2 feet away so close I could've pet him if I leaned a bit forward with its head in the garbage can until I was halfway done when it moved. So of course I turned my whole body in my half asleep state in to see what moved and I finally notice a giant brown furry thing and I'm pissing all over its hind left thigh and leg as I'm wondering what it is, as the bear lifts its head and looks at me. We stare at each other for a moment as I my actions begin to dawn on me. A moment later I finish. The bear and I stared at each for several moments until I took a step back, shut our flimsy door and locked our deadbolt that would've been useless had the bear decided I insulted his honor. And I went back to bed listening and waiting until I eventually went back to sleep.
And the bear tells a story of the strange human who just peed on him and then disappeared.
This was a couple years ago but I pulled up to a stop light, and another vehicle in the next lane also comes to a stop. The car is filled with what looks like high school kids. The kid in the passenger seat notices me, taps on his window and starts doing the universal sign for rock, paper, scissors. I look at the light (which is still red) and immediately think f**k it and play along so we start. 1..2..3..shoot and we tie.1..2..3..shoot, we tie again. This keeps happening. All the young kids in the other car are involved and are screaming like "WOOOOOAAH" everytime we tie. We literally got off like 15 rounds of rock, paper, scissors and tied every single time until the light turned green. I'm still high from that and hope all those guys are doing well.
In college I was walking to class and a thunderstorm hit, but I had just gotten a girlfriend and I was in the best mood of my life so I was just getting soaked and smiling from ear to ear.
A guy walked by with an umbrella, I smiled at him and said hi. He took down his umbrella and got soaked with me and we proceeded to talk about how moments like these are what makes life magical, if only we let ourselves experience them. 20 minute conversation later, the storm stopped and we went our separate ways.
My new girlfriend, a cognitive science major, saw me and ran over to me. She said, “why didn’t you call me??? You know Oliver Sacks is one of my heroes!”
Me: “that was Oliver Sacks?”
Apparently he was a speaker that night for a neuroscience conference. He also has prosopagnosia (face blindness) so it’s possible that he thought we knew each other when I said hi.
'Awakenings' with Robin Williams is a great movie! It's one of those bittersweet movies that is very interesting, especially for anyone who is interested in psychology and cognitive science. I once saw an interview with Robin and Oliver Sacks, and needless to say it was kind of funny!
Short one, yet true nonetheless. Having a hectic day once, running errands I didn’t enjoy. Grocery shopping, quick Home Depot visit, going to bank etc etc. I forgot an item I needed at home for bank teller so I drive back irritated, driving fast, trying to make it back to bank before closing time. As I turn into my apartment’s parking lot there I notice ahead of me a squirrel. I hit my breaks to let the squirrel run by, but he’s just sitting there, nibbling on something. As I slowly drive closer I notice this squirrel is not only nibbling on fries, but he’s imitating dipping a single fry into a crushed and empty ketchup packet. I looked around to see if anyone was seeing what I was seeing. I couldn’t believe it. This m**o was dipping a fry in ketchup. A squirrel. I didn’t take a picture because my phone was dead. PrOoF Or It DiDn’T hApPeN — I know, I know. But, I think about this memory once a month or so and it’s been two years. No one ever believes me. A Big foot sighting would have been more plausible. Sometimes I think the fry eating squirrel was a form of deity or god, reminding me to slow the eff down in life. Who knows.
No, I've seen one do this at the zoo. It was a food court area and a big fat squirrel was sitting on top of a table with a plate of leftover fries and a hotdog bun. He picked up a piece of bun and a fry and made a kind of sandwich and smeared it in the ranch puddle on the plate.
I was in elementary school, during recess, just kinda daydreaming and looking at some ravens flying overhead, when one of them suddenly took a nosedive... right into an open trashcan.
So of course i rush over there to check it out, but the raven was just gone out of nowhere. I was not the only pne who saw it though, another kid came rushing over as well, and thats how i met my best friend for the next 4 years
These stories are weird and all too believable. Birds crash into stuff all the time.
Background: my parents live in an old house, and my brother moved into one that's a bit of a fixer-upper. My dad knows how to do carpentry, electrical, and plumbing, and passed this knowledge on to us through home renovations.
I am forbidden from using the phrase, "hey guys wouldn't it be hilarious if...." because every time I do, that thing happens in the worst way possible - even if it's something wild and implausible.
"Would it be hilarious if the old porch was solid concrete?" - it was, with 1-inch thick rebar holding it together.
"Wouldn't it be hilarious if that wire was still live?" - it was, and power to the entire house was shut off. Someone wired this outlet in before the circuit breakers.
"Wouldn't it be hilarious if that old pipe was full of water still?" - Brother cut into it, water began gushing out.
"Wouldn't it be hilarious if this trellis was holding up the entire wall?" - Wall began rapidly sagging down because the damn trellis was structurally integral.
This is where you go "wouldn't it be hilarious if I won the lottery today?"
i tripped and fell at the same corner outside subway 3 different times years apart and the same guy tried to catch me every single time.
EDIT: okay i keep getting loads of soulmate/marriage comments so to clarify i was SEVEN the first time this happened. this was a grown man lmao.
EDIT2: this man is not a stalker, him and my mum would recognise eachother because she was with me each time, yes he fell trying to catch me but it was funny so its okay, and no this was not the underground train type of subway i mean the sandwich shop, he did not work there and no he isn't homeless.
Saw a chicken walking along a road, cross to the other side, and keep walking same direction.
Just like the joke
My sister being bullied by a parrot calling her names
I had a neighbor who had parrots that would yell "SHUT THE FCK UP!" when their dogs would bark and "GO AWAY!" when the doorbell would ring.
Before my husband and I were married, but had been dating for a long while, I was watching Portlandia and BAM there’s my husband on screen. Dumbfounded I called him and he casually said “oh yeah I forgot about that”.
Got stuck in a bank for the night. When the bank is closed, you can still get to the ATM thanks to a security door. Once inside the door decided to stop working. No phone, no emergency button. Just waited here for hours till someone in the street saw me trough the glass and called someone
Was contract programming, dropping into the office every Friday. The assistant QA dude was there to take my work; "Who died and left you in charge?" -- "Jeff died two days ago." :-o
I once threw a ball for my dog and it landed on his head, rolled perfectly down his spine and off his tail.
I was playing basketball in the park with my mom. Neither of us were very athletic, we were just having fun. There was some kid hanging around us and we weren’t trying to be rude so we let him. After a few minutes of some of the worst questions I’ve ever heard, he asked me if I could throw the ball at the basket backwards. I said sure. See, had he asked if I could make it backwards I woulda said no, but he only asked if I could throw it backwards, which I could. My mom knew what I was doing, hell I picked up so much from her growing up it was probably her idea before I said anything. I took a half hearted peak at the basket, turned around, no warm up, just let that ball fly. I turned back around to watch the obvious miss. I started to say, “See, I threw it at the basket,” but all I gout outta my mouth was, “See-“
And then the ball went in. Swish. Nothing but net. Backboard? That thing never even hit the rim. I don’t have the Will to keep a straight face if I looked at the kid. I looked my mom and said “just like that.” She was almost as surprised as I was
That kid told me he didn’t think I could do it again. Mamma beat me to it this time and said, “ I think it’s your turn”
He left us alone soon after
I went to see Mitch Hedberg do stand up. We stayed around awhile hoping to see him leaving. He never materialized though, so my husband and I walked towards our car. As we were walking we heard a woman yell from an ally “Hey! Mitch Hedberg is back here signing autographs!” We walked around the corner behind a scary old building. It was like 1am and pretty dark. There was Mitch Hedberg and no other fans. Just him and his wife, who had been the one to yell about autographs. He was very high and super lovey. He hugged my husband and me and told us what his fans mean to him. HE took pictures of US for his scrapbook page online. He was also hilarious. We were just there behind a building at 1am with Mitch Hedberg and his wife laughing and hugging deep into the wee hours… When I tell people this they go silent and I’m not sure why. I figure they don’t believe it.
Was walking and chatting with 2 friends, all of us in a line, when suddenly the furthest away from me disappears from peripheral vision. Look down and she's fallen face first to the ground, saying she stepped on something slippery. The only thing under her is a banana peel.The girl literally slipped on a banana peel.
I was walking on a hiking/biking trail when a woman rode past me on her bicycle. I yelled out, “keep the pedal to the metal.” Not two seconds later I hear an awful metallic noise and turn to see the poor woman’s pedal mechanism had fallen apart. She told me, “you shouldn’t have said that!” I apologized profusely and asked if she needed any help. Naturally she didn’t…not from me anyway.
It’s only funny now because so much time has passed but I had just flown in to visit a buddy and he picked me up from the airport. His house was a bit away from the airport so I ended up passing out. Anyways, I woke up to some commotion outside. He had stopped at a gas station. I stumbled out of the car and found a gun pointed at my head. He had gotten into an altercation with a couple of dudes and I guess I startled the second guy because the windows were tinted and they assumed he was alone.
Probably because I was half asleep and couldn’t really grasp what was going on, I muttered - “Well? Either pull the f*****g trigger or get out of my way cuz I really need to take a p**s.” I guess all of that was enough to dead whatever the f**k was going on and they dispersed.
Texas in case anyone was wondering or shocked. And no, I cannot confirm that is how I would handle situations like that wide awake lol
I was playing 8-ball at a bar one night (I'm not very good just play for fun). I'm on a slight winning streak. My next opponent racks them, and I break. 8 ball goes in on the break so it's an automatic win! Dude refuses to leave the table, continues to put quarters in and racks again. I'm like dude u lost .. there's like 8 people in line to play next. He's drunk and being stubborn and won't leave. So I break again.. and the 8 ball drops again.. dude walks away without saying a word
Back in middle school I was walking back to class after lunch when someone chucked something down the hallway as hard as they could. My natural instinct was to jump up and catch it. It was a perfect catch and not a single person saw. It was a mozzarella stick.
I'm a police dispatcher. You won't believe this, but one time some nutcase called and tried to make us arrest some kid cus they didn't want to help him catch his dog or something
... or something? A funny thing happened yesterday. No, it was three years ago!
My buddy and I once were out and a dog catcher or whatever tried to make us help them catch this stupid a*s dog. We didn’t help them so they threatened to call the police on us
Is this the same story as the one above it, but different perspectives? LMAOOO!!! Edit: Well, it's not above this anymore, but it's in there somewhere.
Note: this post originally had 42 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
My "hard to believe" story is back in my home province of PEI, Canada. In a remote rural area with very few houses, I was walking down the street playing Pokemon Go and hatching pokemon eggs. I look up and saw a fox coming towards me on the road. We passed each other, he didn't run or break stride. Said to him "Nice night" Rude bugger didn't answer back!
Rats...here I was hoping that at least my home province was immune... *sigh*
Load More Replies... My dad, the pastor, and the chief of police (or our very small town) went on a fishing trip. Now none of these guys really looks all that honest and upstanding when they aren’t in professional clothes but after a day of fishing they all look thoroughly disreputable. Someone made some joke about handcuffs and the police chief ended up putting the pastor in cuffs as an example to explain something and…the keys fell out of the boat. So here are three disreputable looking males walking down the side of a road in the middle of nowhere, one handcuffed (on their way to their truck to head home) when a state police pulls up to them. Apparently 3 men had recently escaped from police custody in a nearby township who somewhat matched their descriptions. It apparently took quite the convincing to get the state cop to unlock the handcuffs and let them about their business and all three were very fond of retelling the story.
Once in high school someone threw a pencil towards my general side of the room and it was heading directly towards my head, but without knowing it, I was stretching my arms and I blocked the pencil no-look. People saw and told me I have superpowers
I don't know if it's hard to believe or not, but I got to swim with a sea turtle, once. She swam right up to me, and I paddled around her for a while. I started petting her, and noticed she wasn't acting right. It turned out she was sick and trying to reach the shore. I helped pull her in and called our local sea turtle rescue people to come get her. They took her to a rehab facility. I found out later she had a uterine infection.
Thanks for saving that turtle.. you have an appropriate last name!
Load More Replies...
A few of my friends were going to another friends house and I picked them up to drive over together. I stepped up all the way to stand on the very lip of the door, so close my nose was literally touching the door itself. When Steve answered the door he obviously wasn't expecting to see me that close so his brain must have just told him no one was there. I continued to stay perfectly still and he asked where I was peering around the yard for me. That's when I moved and he jumped like three feet backwards and was like 'your a freeking ninja! How did you get there!'
I used to sell tool books over the phone years ago. One time I rang a mechanic's office to sell them some books at the very moment my father walked into their office to sell them some tools! We were living across the country from one another. The people I called handed the phone over to my dad. Coolest sales call ever!
I had a guy come up to me in a gas station asking if I owned the Mazda outside. I was like "oh c**p," thinking he had hit me. He hadn't. He's like "come look at this!" We walk out and there's an identical car next to mine. Same color and everything. He tells me to look at the plates. They were sequential. Like mine was 405 KLD (not real) and his was 406 KLD. He was really excited about it.
I dropped a glass ornament and instinctively stuck my foot out to try and catch it for some reason. It bounced gently off my slipper and landed on the bed, unharmed. I still can't believe it.
I went to high school in a tiny, middle-of-nowhere town. One day as I was walking home I heard hoofbeats behind me. I turned just in time to catch a glimpse of 3-4 deer crossing the road. I turned back around just in time to see a large raptor (vulture, hawk, maybe even an eagle) take flight off the next telephone pole.
Ok am I the only one who noticed this author is a BDSM specialist?....And yes you need to click the 'read more' button to see more lol :D
Business development and social media marketing
Load More Replies... I "kïlled" my great aunt. I was watching Game of Thrones and it was right in the middle of the Mountain and Viper fight when my mother called. I looked at my roommate and was like "somebody had better be dyïng or ded if I'm gonna answer this call." I could HARDLY keep a straight face when my mother told me great aunt had passed. It was just so out of left field.
I’m blonde and my husband is a red head. Jess and Ken. Went bowling years ago and we notice the names of the couple on the lane next to us are Jess and Ken. We look at the couple and it’s a blonde and a red head!
I have had toooo many to name here, crazy life, but someone reminded me we had been looking like crazy to find our lost dog, finally went to the animal shelter, didn't see her there, so went to the office to make a report. Just me, mom and the officer who was on a phone call just as we walked in. As were waiting we noticed he was taking down the description of our Found Lost dog! She was quite a few neighborhoods away and got lost trying to find the place but knew we were close. Saw a parked cop car and stopped to ask him directions, then noticed he was checking out a residence with his Gun drawn! We sat there like whaaat!? Then he walked over, talked to us, and gave us a police escort to the house and had our little wanderer back the same day. Timing is everything! But what the heck was he doing!?? One minute has his gun drawn snooping around someone's yard next minute, sure I'll help you find your dog! Huh!!?? Not even close to the weirdest thing I've seen, but a nice story 😁
Once, I went to visit my sister in college on a weekend. Her and her roommates had a bunch of people over and we all decided to play catchphrase. A couple of rounds in, this dude I had never met before gets a particularly difficult phrase and says "OH man how am I supposed to get anyone to guess this?!" As a joke, I responded as fast as I could, "Glass blowing!" As soon as the words left my mouth, the guy started and stared at me for like 5 seconds before finally saying, "Yes!! How did you do that?!" It was super weird but it made me feel kinda cool lol.
my hard to believe story is how I got my pet chickens... it was years ago, I was just leaving the house when I saw a chicken in the road. at first I thought it was a pigeon or something at first, then I realised, hey, no, it's a damn chicken! picked it up and put it in the back garden, went around and asked all my neighbours if they had an escaped chicken. no-one had. that night, the chicken disappeared from my garden and I found it in a tree nearby! ended up keeping the chicken, now I own an entire flock. and there was the time I thought the original chicken had duplicated itself or something since another chicken identical to the first showed up in the road again!
My "hard to believe" story is back in my home province of PEI, Canada. In a remote rural area with very few houses, I was walking down the street playing Pokemon Go and hatching pokemon eggs. I look up and saw a fox coming towards me on the road. We passed each other, he didn't run or break stride. Said to him "Nice night" Rude bugger didn't answer back!
Rats...here I was hoping that at least my home province was immune... *sigh*
Load More Replies... My dad, the pastor, and the chief of police (or our very small town) went on a fishing trip. Now none of these guys really looks all that honest and upstanding when they aren’t in professional clothes but after a day of fishing they all look thoroughly disreputable. Someone made some joke about handcuffs and the police chief ended up putting the pastor in cuffs as an example to explain something and…the keys fell out of the boat. So here are three disreputable looking males walking down the side of a road in the middle of nowhere, one handcuffed (on their way to their truck to head home) when a state police pulls up to them. Apparently 3 men had recently escaped from police custody in a nearby township who somewhat matched their descriptions. It apparently took quite the convincing to get the state cop to unlock the handcuffs and let them about their business and all three were very fond of retelling the story.
Once in high school someone threw a pencil towards my general side of the room and it was heading directly towards my head, but without knowing it, I was stretching my arms and I blocked the pencil no-look. People saw and told me I have superpowers
I don't know if it's hard to believe or not, but I got to swim with a sea turtle, once. She swam right up to me, and I paddled around her for a while. I started petting her, and noticed she wasn't acting right. It turned out she was sick and trying to reach the shore. I helped pull her in and called our local sea turtle rescue people to come get her. They took her to a rehab facility. I found out later she had a uterine infection.
Thanks for saving that turtle.. you have an appropriate last name!
Load More Replies... A few of my friends were going to another friends house and I picked them up to drive over together. I stepped up all the way to stand on the very lip of the door, so close my nose was literally touching the door itself. When Steve answered the door he obviously wasn't expecting to see me that close so his brain must have just told him no one was there. I continued to stay perfectly still and he asked where I was peering around the yard for me. That's when I moved and he jumped like three feet backwards and was like 'your a freeking ninja! How did you get there!'
I used to sell tool books over the phone years ago. One time I rang a mechanic's office to sell them some books at the very moment my father walked into their office to sell them some tools! We were living across the country from one another. The people I called handed the phone over to my dad. Coolest sales call ever!
I had a guy come up to me in a gas station asking if I owned the Mazda outside. I was like "oh c**p," thinking he had hit me. He hadn't. He's like "come look at this!" We walk out and there's an identical car next to mine. Same color and everything. He tells me to look at the plates. They were sequential. Like mine was 405 KLD (not real) and his was 406 KLD. He was really excited about it.
I dropped a glass ornament and instinctively stuck my foot out to try and catch it for some reason. It bounced gently off my slipper and landed on the bed, unharmed. I still can't believe it.
I went to high school in a tiny, middle-of-nowhere town. One day as I was walking home I heard hoofbeats behind me. I turned just in time to catch a glimpse of 3-4 deer crossing the road. I turned back around just in time to see a large raptor (vulture, hawk, maybe even an eagle) take flight off the next telephone pole.
Ok am I the only one who noticed this author is a BDSM specialist?....And yes you need to click the 'read more' button to see more lol :D
Business development and social media marketing
Load More Replies... I "kïlled" my great aunt. I was watching Game of Thrones and it was right in the middle of the Mountain and Viper fight when my mother called. I looked at my roommate and was like "somebody had better be dyïng or ded if I'm gonna answer this call." I could HARDLY keep a straight face when my mother told me great aunt had passed. It was just so out of left field.
I’m blonde and my husband is a red head. Jess and Ken. Went bowling years ago and we notice the names of the couple on the lane next to us are Jess and Ken. We look at the couple and it’s a blonde and a red head!
I have had toooo many to name here, crazy life, but someone reminded me we had been looking like crazy to find our lost dog, finally went to the animal shelter, didn't see her there, so went to the office to make a report. Just me, mom and the officer who was on a phone call just as we walked in. As were waiting we noticed he was taking down the description of our Found Lost dog! She was quite a few neighborhoods away and got lost trying to find the place but knew we were close. Saw a parked cop car and stopped to ask him directions, then noticed he was checking out a residence with his Gun drawn! We sat there like whaaat!? Then he walked over, talked to us, and gave us a police escort to the house and had our little wanderer back the same day. Timing is everything! But what the heck was he doing!?? One minute has his gun drawn snooping around someone's yard next minute, sure I'll help you find your dog! Huh!!?? Not even close to the weirdest thing I've seen, but a nice story 😁
Once, I went to visit my sister in college on a weekend. Her and her roommates had a bunch of people over and we all decided to play catchphrase. A couple of rounds in, this dude I had never met before gets a particularly difficult phrase and says "OH man how am I supposed to get anyone to guess this?!" As a joke, I responded as fast as I could, "Glass blowing!" As soon as the words left my mouth, the guy started and stared at me for like 5 seconds before finally saying, "Yes!! How did you do that?!" It was super weird but it made me feel kinda cool lol.
my hard to believe story is how I got my pet chickens... it was years ago, I was just leaving the house when I saw a chicken in the road. at first I thought it was a pigeon or something at first, then I realised, hey, no, it's a damn chicken! picked it up and put it in the back garden, went around and asked all my neighbours if they had an escaped chicken. no-one had. that night, the chicken disappeared from my garden and I found it in a tree nearby! ended up keeping the chicken, now I own an entire flock. and there was the time I thought the original chicken had duplicated itself or something since another chicken identical to the first showed up in the road again!
