A Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report found that the US birth rate fell by 4% from 2019 to 2020, the sharpest single-year decline in almost 50 years, and the lowest number of births since 1979. With more and more people passing on the prospect of having children, childfree people are still seen with a fair share of stigma by society.
With so much pressure to experience parenthood and the joys and challenges that come with it, people who consciously choose not to do so have to find ways to build resilience and inner strength to stand up for themselves.
One such way is not taking things too seriously to begin with. Just like this Facebook page titled “Childfree Humor” which is created “for people who don't care much for kids and want to have a laugh about it.”
The page is home to almost 94k followers and it even has a humorous Etsy shop with bold and sarcastic childfreedom-related shirts. Scroll down below through a selection of “Childfree Humor” posts that range from painfully hilarious to all too relatable.
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Bored Panda reached out to the creator behind the Childfree Humor Facebook page who said that she comes from a conservative, Asian family where girls were trained to be good wives and mothers. “Getting married as soon as possible and having children immediately after was pretty much the only option you had once you grew up,” the creator said and added that “This was suffocating for me, I knew from a very young age that that life was not for me, but I was surrounded by people who had those expectations of me.”
“This page, which I started in 2013, was a way to escape that and have a voice of my own. It was cathartic, still is. Knowing there are so many other people out there that are just like me, it made me realize I wasn't a freak or abnormal, and it was okay to not want children.”
The creator of Childfree Humor said that there is “a fairly large stigma” when it comes to childlessness in our society. “People think you're immature, selfish, or stupid for choosing to be childfree; usually all three,” she told us.
Moreover, apart from the social stigma, pressure from family members to reconsider this choice makes it all the more difficult, the creator of Childfree Humor said. “It's usually finding similar-minded people who you can connect with that's the biggest challenge. I don't really know any childfree people in real life but thanks to the internet, there are communities and groups you can be part of that make you feel less lonely.”
Most of Childfree Humor's followers are women, the creator said, “which isn't surprising because I am a woman too and most of what I post is the humor that helps you cope with the expectations that society places on women.”
“What surprised me was that my audience was global. I have followers not just from North America but also from Asia, Africa, etc. It tells you that the women from all over the world, irrespective of the culture they are from, face the same kind of pressure and stigma that comes from choosing to not procreate,” the creator concluded.
That’s what I was told when when I was 22, a single mom of two kids I adored but never wanted more, when I asked the doctor to do a tubal. He said, “Oh now, you’re young you’ll change your mind.” I said, “I have never wanted more than two children. I.DO.NOT. WANT.ANY.MORE. My age has nothing to do with it!” Doctor: “But what if you meet a nice man & fall in love but he wants a child of his own?” Me-pissed, “What am I? A brood mare? I have to put up with the dangers of birth control because he doesn’t have a child & why would he want me to be the mother if the first two I popped out weren’t good enough for him?Besides, his not having a child sounds a whole lot like his problem, not mine.” He said I was taking it wrong. LOL. Bet your a*s I was. The worst comment I ever got though was an older women who said, “But what if something happened to one of your children, then you’d want another.” I was shocked. One goes, just replace it! SMH.
Many childfree people hear that one annoying question way more often than they should. “When are you having a baby?” is the kind of question many people would do anything not to hear ever again. Previously Bored Panda spoke with Susan Petang, a certified divorce coach and the creator of “The Quiet Zone Coaching,” who teaches people how to stop feeling overwhelmed and start waking up happy in the morning again.
Petang said that it can indeed be super annoying when others (family or not!) continually ask when you’re going to have kids, get married, or something else that they think you should be doing. Referring to these questions, Petang said that “no, it’s none of their business.”
Don't forget the old "But what about your future husband?? Don't you dare about what HE will want??"
“Let me ask you this: Why are they asking in the first place? Is it because they know you want kids, and are concerned about your happiness? Is it because they’re just nosy? Is it because they don’t have the social skills to know that it’s an inappropriate question?”
Susan argues that “trying to understand WHY someone is doing something annoying doesn’t justify their behavior, but putting yourself in someone else’s shoes for a moment helps YOU be less annoyed.” She added: “you can even think to yourself, ‘Wow, it’s really sad that they don’t understand how annoying that question is.’”
So many people just want cute babies and they have no idea what to do once the child starts developing a personality... that's why the world is full of totally messed up people.
Honestly, we should just call it something else in order to loophole this whole situation. That's what conservatives do when they find a tax law they don't like. They find loopholes. So let's rename abortion procedures as 'evacuating undocumented immigrants' that way when someone needs to go in for this procedure, they can say they aren't getting an abortion. And then these prolife (in name only because they don't care about life at all, really) people will have to carry signs saying they're against evacuating undocumented immigrants which will make their heads explode.
However, we need to remember that other people are going to do what they are going to do. This applies to all kind of things people talk about, whether it’s asking you “when are you having a baby?” or a whole other unrelated thing.
“We have no control over their behavior. You’re right, your Nosy Aunt Rosie shouldn’t be asking you these questions – but she just did,” the life coach said. However, Petang argues that “our expectations of others aren’t going to change the weather on Jupiter, so don’t get all bristly when people ask stupid or nosy questions – we can’t control them, but we can control ourselves and our responses.”
On the other hand, some people feel like they’re pushed into a corner. So in those cases, you may have no choice but to shut the nosy people down. It doesn’t need to be aggressive at all. “Address the intention rather than the question. For example, the woman in the story could say to her brother, ‘That’s something I love about you – you’re so concerned about my happiness!’ (Note that she hasn’t answered the nosy question.)”
Petang added that another great response would be, “You seem like you really want us to have a baby!” Then let them explain their question. “You can also come right out and ask, ‘Why do you want to know?’”
My mum whispered to me when I was 14 "you don't have to have kids. It's one option in a life where you're the first generation to live many options. If you choose to have kids it's a lifelong option even if they die before you. If you choose not to have kids it's a lifelong choice that opens up so many options, the possibilities are limitless." She also added that if she had her life over, and born in my generation, GenX, she would not have had kids. I took her advice. We're still very close :)
Tattoos can be removed, or changed into something you like better. Kids, not so much.
Me too! There's so much fun in other aisles with more interesting products to buy than wearable toilet paper.
Y'all could afford babies, uh, no. Raising kids is insanely expensive. It's already expensive even before the kid is born with all prenatal care and buying all sorts of things for the baby. And that's just for the baby stuff. Let alone the cost of giving birth and postnatal care for the mom.
It’s sadly true yet this is so funny that I am now going to animate this into a commercial. Here is the link to it: https://chinmayeekalghatgi.wixsite.com/starryskies/post/_kids. Apologies if there is any background noise since there was something going on in my house when recording
I'm in the second generation that was able to get birth control pills: never had kids and never regretted it.
lol "clones" im gonna say that to everyone who talks about their children now
This Be The Verse BY PHILIP LARKIN They f**k you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you. But they were f****d up in their turn By fools in old-style hats and coats, Who half the time were soppy-stern And half at one another’s throats. Man hands on misery to man. It deepens like a coastal shelf. Get out as early as you can, And don’t have any kids yourself.
Lol! I often think something very similar to this. I know my nannas would have been very disappointed I never had kids. Sorry Nans!!
Is there some largess of people changing their minds? I think maybe, yes, occasionally someone might change their minds because their situation has changed or- more often than not- they are pressured into it by a partner or family. But most people who do not want children don't just magically change their minds. Why is this the response from so many people? It's like they just can't compute not wanting kids so it must only be a temporary situation and you're going to change your mind. And it happens a lot with people who are CLEARLY unhappy as parents. Yes they love their kids but they don't seem especially happy on a regular basis. But they pimp having children anyway. They aren't happy unless you are as unhappy as them.
I hate the argument "but you'll never have a family." A spouse is a family! A cat is a family!! You own dust bunnies are family. You can be a family without having to reproduce. Ridiculous.
need to get a bumper sticker that says "My cat is far more fulfilling than your child will ever be."
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Dad of one here, she’s 11, she’s awesome, wouldn’t change her for anything. I love being a Dad, I love my daughter. Now is that something I believe should be forced on anyone? Nope. Are there many ways to enjoy your life? Yep. Do all of those ways require you to procreate? Hell no. You do you, I’ll do me, we will get along just fine.
I'm so happy when people with kids talk about the joy they have, especially dad's. My parents had me "so my mom wouldn't be alone". Imagine coming out of the womb and having a job already. I am childless not because I want to sleep late or do what I want. Sometimes I wonder what if (I'm 54 and just lost my dad) because I believe children are a blessing and there is no more important job imo but I didn't think that it was a wise choice for me. I don't live a decadent life, no tattoos or travel. I volunteer and pour that love into other people. That's my legacy.
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I’m only 12 and when I was younger I wanted 10 kids. Then I realized that’s f*****g insane and I said I wanted 4 children. Now I’m considering the fact that I don’t have to have children. I just always thought I did because my mom would always say “I’m proud of you as long as you bring me grandchildren” and I saw other women having children right after they get married. I still love children and I still babysit but I just don’t think I want kids of my own. To raise and be responsible for. I have dreams to travel the world and stuff. And I just don’t want kids. I know I’m young and I’ll probably change my mind so nothing is confirmed.
It's good that you're keeping an open mind. You might change your mind, you might not, but whatever happens, only you can decide what feels right for you.
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I hate the argument "but you'll never have a family." A spouse is a family! A cat is a family!! You own dust bunnies are family. You can be a family without having to reproduce. Ridiculous.
need to get a bumper sticker that says "My cat is far more fulfilling than your child will ever be."
Load More Replies... Dad of one here, she’s 11, she’s awesome, wouldn’t change her for anything. I love being a Dad, I love my daughter. Now is that something I believe should be forced on anyone? Nope. Are there many ways to enjoy your life? Yep. Do all of those ways require you to procreate? Hell no. You do you, I’ll do me, we will get along just fine.
I'm so happy when people with kids talk about the joy they have, especially dad's. My parents had me "so my mom wouldn't be alone". Imagine coming out of the womb and having a job already. I am childless not because I want to sleep late or do what I want. Sometimes I wonder what if (I'm 54 and just lost my dad) because I believe children are a blessing and there is no more important job imo but I didn't think that it was a wise choice for me. I don't live a decadent life, no tattoos or travel. I volunteer and pour that love into other people. That's my legacy.
Load More Replies... I’m only 12 and when I was younger I wanted 10 kids. Then I realized that’s f*****g insane and I said I wanted 4 children. Now I’m considering the fact that I don’t have to have children. I just always thought I did because my mom would always say “I’m proud of you as long as you bring me grandchildren” and I saw other women having children right after they get married. I still love children and I still babysit but I just don’t think I want kids of my own. To raise and be responsible for. I have dreams to travel the world and stuff. And I just don’t want kids. I know I’m young and I’ll probably change my mind so nothing is confirmed.
It's good that you're keeping an open mind. You might change your mind, you might not, but whatever happens, only you can decide what feels right for you.
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