30 Cursed Cakes From ‘Cakes With Threatening Auras’ (New Pics)
If you think real-life’s scary enough as it is, just you wait till you take a peek at some of these cakes, Pandas. The stuff of nightmares, these baked goods look so cursed, you might want to consider washing your screen with holy water afterward.
Today, we’re featuring the one-and-only ‘Cakes With Threatening Auras’ Twitter page, a social media project that’s as frightening as it is delicious(ly evil). The page features photos of cakes that range from the comically bizarre to the downright demonic. We’ve never seen icing used so maliciously before!
You might want to arm yourselves with a thermos full of coffee and a cup full of Unsee-Juice™, dear Pandas. Ready to dive headfirst into the land of cursed sweetness? Don’t worry, we’re here for you if you need a shoulder to cry on. Don’t forget to upvote the pics of cakes that scared you the most. Oh, and if for some reason you’re still hungry after this list, you can always find more where that came from: here’s Bored Panda’s earlier article about the online phenomenon that is ‘Cakes With Threatening Auras.’
Pie artist Jessica Leigh Clark-Bojin, the author of 'Pies Are Awesome,' enlightened us about what makes cakes different from other forms of delicious pastry and shared her thoughts about food aesthetics.
"Remembering that you are working with food—food that people you know are going to have to actually eat —is critical. Sure the seven-foot-tall dragon cake you just spent a week painstakingly crafting may be gorgeous, but is it really a success if the cake inside is dry and stale and nasty? Deliciousness must always come before aesthetics when you are creating food art—otherwise, you might as well save yourself a lot of trouble and just sculpt your art with clay!" Jessica told Bored Panda. Read on for the baking expert's great insights.
"Pies and cakes are both delicious desserts (though I may be a little biased towards the pie side!) but there are some big, big differences. Cake is traditionally comprised of a bread-like sweet 'sponge' that can vary in density, and then coated with frosting, ganache, glazes, fondant, or other edible casing," pie artist Jessica explained to Bored Panda how cakes and pies differ.
"Depending on the recipe used, cakes can be very sturdy, and very shelf stable—in other words, they can be stacked up very high, and be made days or even weeks in advance of their serving date. Pie, on the other hand, is rather delicate and comes with more of a ticking clock when it comes to working time and serving time," she said.
"Comprised of a pastry casing and any kind of edible filling, pies don’t like to sit out for long periods of time because they absorb moisture and the 'flakiness' of the crust turns into a rather less appealing 'bendiness' over time. The delicacy of pastry also makes verticality a bit challenging with pie designs—not only do you have to work fast with pie pastry to get your shapes formed, painted, and baked before the fat melts, but most pastry can barely support its own weight outside of a pie pan, let alone the weight of multiple layers of pies and other decorations stacked on top."
However, Jessica has used her talents and skills to solve some of these pie-related challenges. "I have dedicated my life for the past five years to putting pie pastry through its paces and inventing solutions to all of these challenges! I invented the 'Piescraper' and a host of other modern Pie Art techniques that allow us to finally create pies that rival the height and complexity of wedding cakes, without sacrificing taste and texture. So now pie lovers looking for that big wow-factor for the center of their dessert buffet table no longer have to settle for the usual fondant covered sponge stack!"
According to Jessica, bakers and food artists must have a good understanding of the materials they're working with. This is as much engineering as it is baking.
"Like any engineering challenge, you have to understand the properties of your materials (the ingredients) and your environment if you want to have a successful construction project. Fondant, chocolate, sponge cake, pastry, sugar, fruit, etc. all have their quirks and respond to things like temperature, humidity, pressure/weight, acidity, and time in different ways," she stressed that there's a lot of information that needs to be known in order to get the best possible results.
"If you try to emulate a design you see online, or a plan you have in your head, without first developing a thorough understanding of the medium you are working in and the environment it is going to exist in, you are likely to find yourself quickly frustrated with the results! Pro bakers develop tricks to help tame their ingredients and coax them into doing their bidding," she said.
"For instance, many people don’t realize that when they see pro bakers applying perfect crumb coats to cakes and subsequent decorative toppings that the cake is actually frozen in between applications. And when they see bakers creating elaborate sculpted cake masterpieces, half of the cake is actually a hidden armature of plastic, metal, and rice crispy treats, because sponge alone could never stand up to gravity like that!"
At the time of writing, ‘Cakes With Threatening Auras’ had 261.6k followers on Twitter, up from 141k hungry fans in September 2020. Meanwhile, the social media project’s cursed cakes have drawn in a further 13.1k followers on Instagram. The only thing we can say is that it’s spreading, oh God, it’s spreading—
The founder describes the project as being “an educational account about cakes” which is all that you need to know about how awesome their sense of humor is. Educational? Perhaps in terms of learning about the different shades and tastes of fear? Side note: imagine actually getting one of these cakes on your birthday.
Previously, Canadian cake maker and designer Darci, of Kake by Darci, shared her baking tips with Bored Panda.
"I would probably say the most common mistakes are wrong order of ingredients added in to the recipe. Very important for baking as it’s a science!" she said that baking requires care, attention, and meticulousness in order to get the very best results.
According to cake expert Darci, some of the biggest problems appear when someone doesn’t weigh the ingredients they use. What’s more, a lot of issues pop up when the baker over- and under-mixes the ingredients.
“All of these small factors can make or break the cake!" she told us.
In Darci’s opinion, overloading cakes with unnecessary details is something that’s best avoided. Otherwise, you might turn what’s otherwise a perfectly fine cake into something that looks plain bad.
"I prefer simple designs and simple details. I feel like you can have a beautiful cake and go overboard with too much—flowers, candy, colors, textures. It can be a fine line between too much and not enough."
Once you understand the rules of baking, you can then start breaking them and experimenting with the ingredients, Darci told us earlier.
"Baking is a science. Every ingredient has a purpose," Darci said. "Leaveners provide lift. Gluten/flours provide structure. Eggs [act as] binders. Liquid / oils [provide] moisture. Sugars [give] tenderness and sweetness,” she explained what the main ingredients do.
Meanwhile, pie artist Jessica told us earlier that there are certain chemical reactions that need to happen for pastry to become pastry, and for cake to become cake.
“If you alter certain variables (heat, time, acidity, etc.) you may get a result you aren’t thrilled with... That said, you may be pleasantly surprised!" she noted the pros and cons of experimenting with recipes.
"And what better way to learn, 'Oh! That’s what an egg does in this recipe' or, 'Oh! That’s why they say to chill the dough overnight first' than by jumping in and trying it? If you’ve got the time, and are cool with learning from failure (something I do all the time) tinker away!" she said that baking mistakes are learning opportunities.
Note: this post originally had 49 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
But if you’re pressed for time or that oh-so-rare thing called patience, you should definitely stick to the baking recipe as-is. Don’t go changing anything if you need everything to go perfectly! Leave the experimentation for times when you can afford to mess up.