There’s An Online Page That Collects Bad Amazon Movie Reviews And Here’s 30 Of The Funniest Ones
Interview With AuthorWe live in the age of reviews. Both blessed and cursed, they do help us in making our minds up whether to buy something on the internet. There’s also nothing more powerful than leaving a review for an Uber driver, a restaurant on Yelp, or a shop on eBay.
But there’s a whole different world when it comes to reviewing movies on Amazon. Because you see, even the best ones do deserve a solid 1-star rating.
Luckily, the Twitter page "Amazon Movie Reviews" has chronicled all the funniest tiny bits of honesty. Get your popcorn ready, 'cause these will be more entertaining than 2 hours of cinematic boredom.
More info: Twitter
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How in the Jodie Foster's name you put your child watching a cannibal horror movie and you dont realize its not a kid claymation until it gets ugly?????
Why did they not turn it off as soon as they saw it wasn't claymation. And the cover does not really suggest a kids' movie, either???
Let me get this straight, you can't tell the difference between live-action and claymation, and as a result your child is scarred for life, but you complain to the company about something that is your fault, when you should be paying attention to your traumatized toddler instead?!? smh
I am almost positive that this is a joke review (I pray...I hope). Anyone raised in the United Kingdom or a brain for that matter should be able to tell the difference between childhood favourite "Shaun the Sheep" (the super catchy theme song is enough to get stuck in your head for ages) and Sir Anthony Hopkins enjoying a good a chianti.
Load More Replies...uh. It took you watching the whole movie with your toddler to figure this out?!?
I call foul. The minute the movie started, the difference would be seen and shut off. Or even a few minutes in when you check on your baby.
unfortunately, there are people out there who are this stupid.
Load More Replies...I watched so called "Star Wars" and though I saw many people and creatures battling, not one star warred at all. Every star in that movie stayed right in place in the night sky. Beyond disappointed!
It really was. And a message from Lord Vader, 'I find your lack of brain very disturbing'.
Bored Panda reached out to Joe Grabinski, the man behind the Amazon Movie Reviews Twitter account, which has more than 239.6K followers. Joe said that he started the humorous account purely by accident.
“I simply stumbled across humorous reviews when purchasing DVDs/Blu-rays on Amazon and wanted to store the funny reviews somewhere. I remember thinking, “It would be fun if I got 500 followers someday, people who enjoyed seeing these things.” Little did he know that the page would soon have 1K followers within 24 hours.
How do we have like 16 Toy Stories, but only one Bug's Life?! I really like this classic, I would highly appreciate sequels.
That's actually pretty funny. I can't watch movies like that, anyway. Too much a reminder of how badly humans treat all other animals.
However, Joe was honest enough to say that he “had a lot of excitement and disappointment associated with the account: book agent, podcast, YouTube show, etc. None of those things quite panned out, but there have been a lot of fun benefits such as getting to know some interesting and cool people.”
Since the launch of the Amazon Movie Reviews page back in 2014, Joe has noticed that these days, people are leaving “a lot less reviews (for movies) on Amazon than they did when I started.” It makes it harder to find the good ones.
Joe assumes that it’s due to a couple of reasons: “1) The novelty of leaving reviews has worn off for people; 2) People are buying less Blu-rays and DVDs; 3) There are more competing platforms for people to rent/stream movies; and 4) There are more competing forms of entertainment.”
Well. How deep could the ocean possibly be, if the earth is flat? XD Jesus, people are the worst.
OMG, how dumb can you be? It literally says 'horror movie' on the cover... 🤦♀️
It's not really fair for people to give poor ratings to movies just because they made a mistake and chose the wrong film.
Why???? Why didn't we change the title from book to disk??? Height OF STUPIDITY!!!
So because its streaming on Disney, do we now call it 'The Jungle Stream' tooo?
Taken 3 was actually quite tragic, and arguably better than the others. But I give this review 5 stars.
Or his daughter is dumb for continuing to put herself in harms way...
Why does anyone even consider watching a movie with that title?
Load More Replies...We need to find out what was causing her to act out such aggression
You may not be safe with them after that
Load More Replies...Reward her with something actually worth watching like The LEGO Movie.
When Jack goes for his interview, he asks the same question. Employer tells him that there's just too much snow in the winter to keep the roads clear enough for anyone to get up there, and it's not cost-efficient.
Load More Replies...The hotel that King stayed at when he got the idea for The Shining is the Stanley in Estes Park. When the book was written, the Stanley did close every winter. Estes Park is just outside Rocky Mountain National Park. That is the main attraction for tourists. It isn’t really a place you would stay at if you wanted to ski.
The hotel is located in Estes park in Colorado. The road to get there is not drivable in the winter on most days. And it's a death trap road in the summer imagine with snow
It's because during the time when the "nor'easter" comes in, all the mountain passes are going to be snowed in, travel blocked in and out. They knew this, gave the employees off and hired a caretaker
I don't think Colorado gets nor'easters. Maybe it was closed because it was horrible lodging and people stopped coming.
Load More Replies...1. Suspension of disbelief. 2. Estes Park, where the Standley is located (the hotel used as the overlook in the shining), is not close to any major ski areas and with only Highway 7 going through town, it frequently gets snowed in... Just sayin' oh, yeah, and this is fiction, so there's that.
Very deep:) The whole entertainment world for kids is about making money with fears and laughter...
Thank you! One commenter who actually got it! Please accept my upvote! :)
Load More Replies...Is this guy one of these Butt hurt young ppl with no sense of humor?
Shouldn’t you be out protesting tuxedo cats for cultural appropriation?
Sounds a bit scary, not suitable for children :p
Load More Replies...It doesn’t matter if your kid is in kindergarten, college, or has kids of their own. Anyone of any age can like Frozen. Students, even college age, can write a paper about Olaf, as long as the quality of the writing matches their grade level and is apropos to the focus of the class they’re writing it for. Now, the suffering grades actually are a concern, and should be looked into more deeply. There may be other contributing factors at work there.
Frozen has infiltrated all elemntary schools across America. To ths day, Halloween is an army of Elsa's, Ana's, and the occasional Olaf. People everywhere are being afflicted with this "Frozen Fever." The words, "Do you wanna.." set millions into song. A problem? LET IT GO! LET IT GOOOO, CAN'T HOLD IT BACK ANYMORE!!! (Sorry to infect you.)This epedemic has been going on for 5 YEARS. It dies down a bit in 2019, but a recent outbreak has been caused by ANOTHER MOVIE!!! HELP US
i don't like elsa and anna i like star wars 's obi wan and baby yoda
Load More Replies...This is me and my cats at that age. My dad ended up yelling at me over it.
Yeah, I know I'm late but now I'm here and want to know what grade the kid has got for it and also what the content was about. Isn't it cool to write about a snowman as a rolemodel then a princess, prince or a very masculine rendeer called Sven? Also please don't judge a book by it's title <3
But please watch the videos on Kevin James YouTube channel!!! They're epic!
No - it was forin LANGAGE, which is even harder to understand!
Load More Replies...I thought that "Pan's Labyrinth" was a brilliant film - certainly one of Guillermo Del Toros' best. And, Spanish is a beautiful language.
How dare these foriners not speak good Inglish in a movie about Spain in the 1940's ?
Obviously - for this person are all the languages of Earth forin langage - whoever he/she might be...
Imagine this guy talking to Kubrick.... Yeah yeah, the music was legendary... the visual effects were epic but the chairs man... the chairs looked sooo uncomfortable. No award there.
Why did I read this, in my head, using Trumps voice?
Load More Replies...Not wrong though. But there is a hidden fetish behind watching two and a half hours caring about chairs.
The whole movie is chock full of discomfort, and the only thing you zero in on is the chairs?
If you throw bricks at them they will bulid a wall, don't do it
Load More Replies...Well, they are not wrong ... As a kid I found it hilarious, but it's a bit cringy to see how Kevin goes full-psycho.
Hahaha you got that right!! There will be blood...
Load More Replies...So they drag Silent place for actually being silent and also There will be blood because there was NO blood...
No, I’M done because I was about to comment this.
Load More Replies...Until you ask fans why it had to involve so much rape, and their response is always 'that's just how that time period was'. Except this is 100% fiction, that time isn't real, and there was zero reason for the gratuitous rape.
Except since it is 100% fiction and the creator controls the rules, it can have many reasons to have it.
Load More Replies...Everyone knows, that dragons weren't even invented til the Renaissance. Good point.
"...does not reflect the history of that time at all." ??? Um...wtf?
I tried to describe the Netflix series The Last Kingdom, based on Bernard Cornwell's novels, to a friend of mine. He said "oh, it's just like Game of Thrones!" I said "yeah, except this is real history, with real events and real people, as related through the eyes of a fictional character. GOT us fantasy."
It perfectly reflects the history of a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.
I wore pants on my head for two weeks to imitate that legend. He was the best, rest in pieces Jar Jar
Load More Replies...I honestly don't mine Jar Jar. It's the gaping f*****g plot holes that pissed me off.
10 stars out of 5 for Jar Jar Binks! *starts applauding*
From Wikipedia: "He was met with overwhelming dislike from both critics and audiences, and is recognized as one of the most hated characters in Star Wars and the history of film in general"
Calvin, if you’d just come out of that closet, you’d finally be free to be your authentic self, and feel completely alive for the first time in your life.
I also thought this, and then my daughter clued me in...not my thing, but I can't say anything negative about people being who they want to be.
This is most upsetting. First, because people only want to watch films in English (doubtlessly because they are incapable of reading subtitles); second, because they can't even tell that the film is in Korean, not Chinese! Do they even know there is a country called Korea, where people speak Korean? Have people always been so ignorant?
You are assuming that these people can actually read at all.
Load More Replies...You laugh, but remember when that American news reporter interviewed the KOREAN director of this Korean film in which a Korean cast plays a Korean family living in Korea who are trying to navigate the Korean class system.... and asked him "Why did you chose to film it in Korean?"
you can always LEARN the language if you want to avoid reading subtitles that much tho.. like all the non-English speaking person in this world.
Wow... I don´t know if this is more stupid or arrogant but it makes me so angry... some ppl are realy simpletons...
so entitled.. see the bright side: by watching movie in foreign language, we could learn that language. That's how I learn English (yes, english is foreign language for me)
Sadly there's too much ignorance, intolerance, and hatred, among the people in the US, but there's also many of us that are kind, intelligent, ppl that are accepting of the diverse cultures, diverse social and family lives, and support equality for everyone in this chaotic world that we all live in. Currently it feels like a pipedream, but those of us who do care, just have to continue the journey one day at a time.
Load More Replies...They're missing out. I used to run into this all the time when I worked at a Movie rental store. The company put 'SUBTITLED' in bold bright letters on the film case and people would still bring it back demanding a refund because it wasn't in English.
I think it's safe to assume people who actively don't like subtitles are usually fuckwits with a 3rd grade reading level. Those that don't watch a movie if it's not in English are usually selfish bastards who don't want to understand the concept of different cultures.
I have the same issue with the Pacific Rim movies, not one person says "It'd time to drop the Jaeger Bomb!"
He also gave 1 Star for Terminator for the same reason. Arnie never said please or thank-you. Rude.
Arnie: "May I please shoot you now? Thank you for not trying to evade the bullet."
Load More Replies...If he thinks Jack is rude he definitely should not watch Paul! 😉
Kubrik should've read your critics. Would done him good. (It's a joke. Irony. Sarcasm).
That is the only complaint they could find?? Or maybe they were hoping to snack the trauma away and even that was denied to them ...
Far more likely, with the added benefit of us readers not having to rehash that horror. *shudders*
Load More Replies...ok, so I don't fall asleep during movies, right? well, I fell asleep during that movie. that's how bored I was
Load More Replies...Cats is the reson that there are no more cat movies *sorry Taylor Swift*
Another one punishing the movie for something completely unrelated. Sigh.
If you rented the movie, then the cinema is in your home. If so, then you deserve a one star!
Which, of course, is the movie's fault I expect the Cats ate them all
I honestly didn't find it that funny. It was disconcerting.
Load More Replies...He already old old. He still think he got the boyish thing working for him. Still pissed about The Mummy. F that guy
Load More Replies...They'd probably complain that "The Quiet Earth" wasn't quiet enough. I do want to see a review of this movie from a deaf person.
There are three idiots in this review: the reviewer, and the two people who found this helpful.
Load More Replies...Well if he is about to get married.. doesn't that automatically stop the alimony?
Not unless old mom gives up parental rights and new mom adopts. She's still responsible for her own kids' expenses no matter who they live with.
Load More Replies...Not sure any of the emoji characters in the movie could picture her feelings after that.
He was surprised!?! He didn't know alimony stops when you get remarried??
and TWO people have found it helpful.... maybe it should be as a must see for marriace therapists?
It didn't only make him a bad father but showed his severe mental problems.
I'd believe animals talking and singing before I'd believe a bunch of animals celebrating the other animals who kill and eat them. (Circle of Life). Unless all the animals involved are humans.
Also the breeding pair eat any malformed offspring so Nemo would have been a mom snack.
MOM MOM MOM, hahaha! The movie ... made dumb children flush down entire populations of their aquarium ... people get mad at every little bit of a tit you see in TV because "SEX, GOD, BLABLA", but when a dumb movie makes dumb people, early in their life, do dumb and harmful things ... no one seems to care. Sad, that.
Load More Replies...This person is actually so dumb that they don't understand how to rate a movie. Huh. And I thought I'd seen it all.
I guess nobody's reading the movie description or even bothering to watch the trailer. All these tools and still...
Not only a Broadway musical, but a movie musical. Dumbfounded.
Amazing how nobody knows that until they learn it, isn't it?
Load More Replies...Underutilizing Daffy Duck is punishable by Permanent Offworld Reassignment.
Load More Replies...Jesus Christ this is both sexist and homophobic. The fact that people like this exist sickens me.
Ok Connor, you have just proclaimed your place in the world as a fat, sexist, racist, white a*****e.
"I've just pissed my pants... and no one can do anything about it." "Were it not for my travelling companion, I do believe I would be having the time of my life." "[loudly farts] Put that in ye book." "[finds skeleton with arrow through ribcage] People back east wondering 'Why don't he write?'"
If you want movie where there's baby acting like an adult, so go watching Boss Baby
They were, but Foxx pulled his hand loose just before the picture was taken.
The evil LEGO lying in wait for an unsuspecting victim.
Load More Replies...And yes, while there was some running in the movie, I don't recall ANYONE running WITH a blade! So, really, what is this all about? /s
"Blade Runner" is a science fiction movie, if you hadn't noticed. It gets better each time I watch it.
Nor do we have a base on the Moon, Hilton Hotels in orbit, or a Mr. Fusion power generator.
Maybe because jeans are now considered suitable attire for any occasion?
Deadpool is my favorite marvel character... He’s so real, and doesn’t pretend to be anything but the bitter, violent, and funny anti-hero that he is.
Come on, as if things like that REALLY could happen ... that's for another movie or so!
Load More Replies...Welp, too late now! That weird, racist orange dude is running for president for the sencond time this November. He''s alread wreaked havoc on the black communites, not to mention put thousands of innocent black people at the mercy of the crimminal justice system.
Much as I hate the Trump, I got sick of QT's Tourette's Syndrome of N-word, said over 100 times. It was well-shot, but I quit that film, two cartoonishly long hours before getting thoroughly done with such worthless vile spew. And that was too long. Just glad I didn't have to deal with QT on screen.
I loved this movie as a child but as an adult I learned the horrible treatment the cast endured, especially Judy Garland. Poor girl. Now I can't watch it without thinking about the child abuse she went through.
I saaaw the siiiiiiiiiiiiiign and it opened my eyes I saw the siiiiiign... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVbInzca6OM
Load More Replies...That the person who wrote the review most likely doesn't own a yoga mat...
Load More Replies...I meant B=C.... Dang I screwed it up (shrugs, goes online and wonders why Amazon is sold out of yoga mats).
Load More Replies...Unfortunately the Invisible Man did not have much of a presence in this movie.
Oh yeah, just ignore all scientific evidence, fossils that prove their existence, and millions of books and papers about the dinosaurs.
this is the kind of movies i'd like to watch but won't, since i know i wouldn't be able to take it and get sick and obsessed.
As far as I am concerned, this is one of the best if not THE best Star Wars movie. And it is, literally, based on one line of dialogue in the original movie, now #4.
And a video game, there was a video game with this as a major mission.
Load More Replies...Seriously? How idiotic do you have to be to slam a MOVIE for art on the box?
I'm sure there are a few ladies out there that would call them magicians ;)
Don't show them Kimba the White Lion either - he carries around the taxidermied body of his dead father a lot.
thought Dora was a timelord, and the monkey was the companion.
Load More Replies...It was obviously a telescopic fishing rod. Honestly, Chris, have you ever backpacked?
This girl would hate Mary Poppins. And Halloweentown. And any videogame with an inventory system... He must be bored.
Aaaaand you expected what exactly? Personally, I think there's not enough cats. I would have preferred cats to weird demonic aliens.
Yet it distracted you with those two things well enough. You did not notice it was obfuscated steampunk-y nonsense that held a plot ... like a fish net holds water, didja?
I feel like Bored Panda can concoct a similar post based on your incessant need to comment completely uninteresting and irrelevant commentary on every entry in this list.
Load More Replies...There, there. Avert your eyes from the stupidity, it will be okay.
Load More Replies...don't smoke and watch is my favourite. can relate. applies to a lot of movies too!
Just wait until this person finds out Te Fiti is a literal goddess and Maui a demigod and none of these people have ever even heard of Jesus...
and the Bible has never once said that tattoos are bad...
Load More Replies...It should be considered a sin to be intolerant of other cultures customs. Or the lifestyle choices of some members of your own.
I'm surprised this idiot didn't think it was a porn film about a Moan'a.
*sigh* Any time now, God. Any time. The asteroid would be greatly appreciated, thanks.
Well he became president and now the country has gone to heck. Happy, conservatives?
I am all for critical thought, but this type of thinking is dangerous because the theory that vaccines cause autism has been debunked years ago. Dr Andrew Wakefield is a quack.
Fricking anti-vaxxer. This is a fricking lie. Vaccines don't cause autism.
Vaccines do not "cause" autism. You are born with autism, if you have autism.
I thought studies showed it could happen as well as a rewiring of the brain? (Legit comment_ Nothing at all to do with antivaxing as antivaxers, flatethers and orange Cheetos racists are the scum of the earth)
Load More Replies...I actually felt the same.. In the end I watched. It made me smile and helped out my complex PTSD.
Try searching "fungus3" or "Sean10M" on Spore. You'll get your boobs then.
Load More Replies...Nevermind that the cover art and most things you see when you click on it show stills of the animation.
How is it that so many of you are missing the SARCASM???? Most of these are jokes. I'm suprised. Usually Pandas are a little brighter than this. And some of them are really funny! I mean... if you have a sense of humor... which seems to be missing in the comments on this one. I has a confused. (<< that's a joke)
Right below this article, I have a link to another BP article: "40 Times People Missed The Joke So Bad, They Embarrassed Themselves On The Internet"... I think we can supply it with more entries...
Load More Replies...It’s funny to read, but I bet 95% of these are fake and just made in hopes of going viral and end up in posts like this. Many are too obvious.
It is hard to believe that some of these were not made tongue in cheek.
I think 95% are joke reviews. I'm more surprised how many Pandas are taking the reviews seriously …
Load More Replies...Wow.. These people really exist!! There's human beings on this planet roaming around this idiotic. 😱😨
How is it that so many of you are missing the SARCASM???? Most of these are jokes. I'm suprised. Usually Pandas are a little brighter than this. And some of them are really funny! I mean... if you have a sense of humor... which seems to be missing in the comments on this one. I has a confused. (<< that's a joke)
Right below this article, I have a link to another BP article: "40 Times People Missed The Joke So Bad, They Embarrassed Themselves On The Internet"... I think we can supply it with more entries...
Load More Replies...It’s funny to read, but I bet 95% of these are fake and just made in hopes of going viral and end up in posts like this. Many are too obvious.
It is hard to believe that some of these were not made tongue in cheek.
I think 95% are joke reviews. I'm more surprised how many Pandas are taking the reviews seriously …
Load More Replies...Wow.. These people really exist!! There's human beings on this planet roaming around this idiotic. 😱😨
