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Once you were dreaming of becoming an astronaut, visiting the furthest places, climbing the highest mountains, finding the biggest love, and then it was all gone one day.

Adulthood happened. It knocked on the door, handed you responsibilities you were not ready for and said that everything’s on your shoulders now. So now, most of my fellow dear millennials are juggling between things like the pandemic that made the world feel like an apocalyptic movie you didn’t sign up for, student loans, unaffordable rent, crazy expensive mochas your body nevertheless needs no-questions-asked, barely fine Tinder dates, sleepless Netflix binges, stressful jobs or the even more stressful absence of one, and lots other things nobody prepared us for.

So, dear adults, even though we can’t just get back to our childhood which equals devouring Harry Potter books and carelessly sleeping under the stairs, we can laugh at the absurdity we’re in right now. Scroll down through the best tweets that sum up adult life below and prepare to laugh and cry, and then laugh. Who cares, they already think of millennials as not very stable ones.

#1

Funny-Adult-Tweets

tee_babz Report

JitkaBlitka
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh yea, I miss not feeling guilty when doing nothing...

Beate N.
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But "chilling" is an important part of life. We're not meant for constant work - look at other hunter/carnevore animals. Took me a long time to understand this, but I am now chilling without feeling guilty - even though there's a million things I "should have done".

New Everywhere
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes!! Some of the things that make us "should" all over ourselves is crap made up by this weird system we live in. I do what I can, within my means and in the best interest of my family. We bond through "chilling" together. The whole fam can put their worries down for a second and it's ok.

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Al Christensen
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Take it from a 70-year-old: there's a point past adulting (senioring?) when so much of that s**t doesn't matter anymore. The best part of retiring isn't that you don't need to work anymore, it's that you reach a point when far less matters to you — or needs to matter. Until health becomes the Big Thing.

Kimi Tomminello
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm retired but not senioring yet (I love that term, btw) there's definitely a difference. I have half the weight off my shoulders (worked/ saved enough to retire young) but still have the technicalities of traditional adulting (teenager in high school, one just moved out, caring for my elderly father and ill hubby). You've earned those "it doesn't matter" stripes 😉 I'm looking forward to senioring someday!!

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François Carré
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In an attempt to solve this problem, I've worked on getting rid of as many unnecessary and boring tasks as I reasonably could. For example I abolished ironing, and that was a great day for freedom in the tiny republic of my home.

Mary Rose Kent
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

“...tiny republic of my home.” is absolutely fantastic!

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Nicely
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My general feeling about this, and I'm in my 40s now, is that sooner or later I'll die and not need to do some of it, thereby winning at life.

Kimi Tomminello
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

🤣 you've made it "over the hill". I'm in my 40s too and am finally starting to truly understand this phrase.

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Meghna Mohan
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Me this fine morning in sunny and yet cold cold bangalore, make sure my son is attending his online class, cook breakfast, feed my younger one, ensure that husband makes the elder one eats as soon as class is over and go dozing off for three hours. I have a huge pile of laundry to take care of, weekend cleaning dusting etc and cooking. Couldn't bring myself to it 🤣 i told the fam I'm chilling let me be, I'll get up in time for cooking lunch, the fruits, snacks salad etc are where they are always so help yourselves. Was a good three hours ❤️

Zophra
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

" Just 10 more minutes in BP, then I have to get something done..."

Id row
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How did so many people grow up with this mindset? Did they not have to put in effort in anything before they became an adult?

Yoga Kitty
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is a big difference between "never putting effort in anything" and running a deadly race against yourself each and every day, like some people (feel they have to) do...

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Stephanie Keith
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes! I don't think people realize how much maintaining our existence really is. Like outside of work, we all have to maintain ourselves or constantly be doing something to just exist. So in all reality we are always being productive even when we are not getting paid for it. For example, getting up showering, brushing teeth, hair, and any other hygiene thing, takes effort. Maintaining our homes, cars, kids, self, and just existing is work. No one can get out of doing these things in order to live. It's hard enough maintaining ourselves, let alone working 60 to 80 hours a week. We really can't be lazy when you think about it. Because their is always something or someone that has to be maintained. Which is why I find it sad that people think folks who don't earn money by working are somehow not productive or just being lazy. Not at all the case. Even the most laziest of people still have to maintain themselves and put in effort to just exist day to day. It really makes you see how hard existing is and how much pressure is put on all of us to work. Not to mention having to work for food just to eat and stay alive. Like you're telling me if I don't make enough money I'll be denied a thing I literally need to stay alive? That's absolutely insane and wrong when you think about it. Starving people for no reason when there is plenty of food to go around. Placing a condition on human beings being able to eat is so messed up. Just saying.

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RELATED:
    #2

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    romangiivenchy Report

    Jo Choto
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My laundry basket might as well be a wardrobe.

    Jay Son
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same lol, seems much easier this way xD

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    Monday
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You don't have to put it away if you just get dressed out of the laundry pile.

    Jorgen Bjerke
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Exactly what I am doing. I just stopped putting away a year ago or two. So much easier :)

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    Martha Meyer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    7 to 10? That's pretty fast. At my house, it's more like 30 to 40.

    Jim Wamsley
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And if Ironing is involved, add another 7 days.

    Lola
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wouldn’t mind an automated machine that folds too. Why stop at the dryer?

    Rusti Gardina
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    On a behind- the- scenes tour of the laundry on a cruise ship, they had a main that washes, dries and FOLDS the sheets! It was bigger than my kitchen and I still want one

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    Alex Travous
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I actually forget that I started washing clothes and when I remember it's too late and they smell like mildew. So I have to wash them again

    Ece Cenker
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do have a rack of laundy that has been dry for the last 36 hours located two meters behind me. I should go put them away in their proper places another two meters farther. Thank you for the reminder, BP.

    Annette Easton
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    7-10 days sounds awfully optimistic for my household.

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    #3

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    NotMoscona Report

    troufaki13
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's *IF* I go to the party at all!!

    Brian Bennett
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just thinking of getting ready to go to a party exhausting!

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    Julia Atkinson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Age 62: stomp out of the house to complain about the party next door

    Kimi Tomminello
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    🤣🤣🤣 all of us gen xers: lol I'm not getting involved in that mess!! Wanna go play fetch with the dogs?

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    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    37 and still going to parties? Lol

    rusty razzi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Age 77: sneak out of home, but forgotten where to go..😁

    Id row
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    TIL people who are 37 still go to parties.

    Daniel DuBay
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Age 17: standing up at a party Age 37: where can I sit down

    KimTx
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Age 57: cutting out the middle man to stay home

    Philly Bob Squires
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Age 63: Party?? Whatchu talkin' bout Willis?

    RatherLoopy
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be fair, I also snuck out of parties and went home when I was 17.

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    Navigating through adulthood is the job of a lifetime. I have been an adult for more than a decade, and I am still learning to be one. I suspect I am not the only one. So I spoke with Francis Merson, the clinical psychologist awarded the Australian Psychology Society Prize in 2015, who was happy to share some very interesting and useful insights about it.

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    “People can often get stuck in patterns of behavior during childhood which persist into adulthood and prevent them developing true autonomy,” Francis said and added that there are many ways in which this can happen. “People who have been traumatized can internalize a victim identity, which makes it scary for them to act independently as adults. People who are emotionally neglected can also revert to child-like modes, where they rely excessively on partners and friends to help them deal with the world and their own emotions.”

    It can also happen to people who are overindulged since they “might grow up with the expectation that others should sort out their lives for them,” Francis added.

    #4

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    urbanhymnal Report

    James016
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My wife: "What shall we have tonight?" Me: "I don't know"......repeat until we decide to eat the pizza we have in the freezer

    Cat
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes! We always go for takeaway in the end.

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    Stephanie Cunningham
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can someone invent a nutrition pill already? I'm tired of feeding myself multiple meals every single day.

    François Carré
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Especially because you always buy the same kind of food, which you're kind of fed of now, but when you're at the grocery store you can't think of anything different you could have to change a bit. So you open the fridge, go "meh" and end up always having the same old menu for the week.

    MyOpinionHasBeenServed
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've come to realize having routine meals is one of the most daunting, unnecessary things we do with our days. I understand if you're hungry and you want your food on your break at work. But when we're at home we tend to schedule our meals and keep ourselves from eating until those times. Why? Eating should be the most liberating, free thing we have to do to survive that is in our control. Eat when your hungry, eat what you want and how much you want. It doesn't have to be this formal event every day. If someone wants to eat something else than what you're having, let them make what they want.

    Demongrrrrl
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Absolutely! If I want to have breakfast cereal for dinner and cold pizza for breakfast, I can. And frequently do!

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    Id row
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If that's the most taxing thing in your life, you are incredibly privileged.

    Pepper Pots
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    O god Im old I can relate to each one

    Kady LaHaie
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I keep a list of dinners by category: pork, vegetarian, chicken. I plan our dinners a week at a time (before I shop). If nothing seems interesting to me, I give the list to my hubby and son. They always choose pasta and fish sticks but it gets them in on the planning.

    Sandy Farley
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So true, so true..... ! And I should know; I'm 74 years old!

    Jim Wamsley
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When did I have to suddenly become a f**king chef?

    New Everywhere
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes I wish we were better at planning. The weeks where we figure out 3 dinners in advance I feel like a real adult. Then Thursday.

    Terry Tobias
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Have breakfast for dinner. Those nights were always the best when I was a kid!

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    #5

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    AbbyHasIssues Report

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And we know why the bastards do it!

    Troux
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I get mad when there are multiple locations for the same thing. Looking for salsa? Check the chips aisle, the condiments aisle, the Mexican food shelf in the International aisle, and then the sauces and spreads section in the produce corner.

    Alex Boomhower
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    they rearranged the store i work at (they being a third party) so not only are the customers mad at us, WE dont even know where anything is!

    Mark Fuller
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just lose my patience and don't end up spending as much money. Leave it alone and I'll zip round like lightening and buy everything I need and more. Piss me off by rearranging and I will get the basics and leave asap!

    Id row
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    lol, this should be higher. Last time they re-arranged my store I heard someone yell from the next aisle, "Where the hell is the water?" in a really frustrated tone. I chuckled.

    MyOpinionHasBeenServed
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cherry on that would be the announcement coming on right after "Remember! We're all in this together."

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    Space whale
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's annoying. Like now I have to tilt my head 90° upwards to see where the duck everything is

    New Everywhere
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You have a route and a game plan and then this. And you're there for 2 hours.

    HarriMissesScotland
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is a nightmare for the visually impaired. Leave my candy aisle alone!

    Insert Generic Username
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nothing makes me more livid than a rearranged market!

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    #6

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    isabelfulla Report

    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And who the hell touched my cheese?

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I definitely had a quarter of camembert there last time I looked

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    Lola G
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The trash can at my place follows a logarithmic curve. It fills up in 4 days, but it can go another week without being emptied.

    Julia Atkinson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why the hell is it Friday when yesterday was Tuesday, and why are Cadbury's Creme Eggs so much smaller than they used to be?

    El muerto
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    remember, part of the dust, are your own cells that had die and fallen off...basically you are falling apart and had to be remove

    Seabeast
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It would be so much handier if we just shed our skin once or twice a year, like reptiles.

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    KombatBunni
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why is the floor so dirty again? I like only cleaned it yesterday!

    Puck
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The kids did it! Not me when i came running back from the car because i forgot my lunch.... No, definitely the kids... 🙄

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    Jace
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I put a little trash out maybe once per month. I don’t throw food waste in trash. It either gets composted or fed to the disposal. I recycle all metal and plastic (which might never get recycled because American recycling is a goddamned joke, but I’m doing my goddamned part!), including plastic film (which is bagged separately and might never find a recycler, because, again, America is goddamned stupid).

    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But you are at least doing something about it. I have a recycling corner in the garage ... plastic, paper, tins, etc. I need to sort it out because I became lazy and just chucked my stuff in that general direction. Maaaan.

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    Wheeskers
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My new black stove top is a needy beetch. Clean me! I'm dusty! I have a fingerprint!

    Brian Bennett
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never dust - remember ashes to ashes dust to dust - it could be a friend!

    thefaithfulspouse
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't ever ask where the dust comes from. You do not want to know

    Rembrandt Q. Einstein
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Who keeps putting their finger on the computer screen!?!?

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    Even though it might be easy to judge people who just can’t seem to adult properly, Francis argues that it’s important to be compassionate and remember that these people didn’t choose the early experiences that underpin their difficulties today.

    More importantly, Francis argues that there’s no such thing as the perfect adult—“someone who is unfailingly responsible, rational and emotionally balanced. We all have moments when we act like kids: we get mad over trivial stuff; we panic needlessly; we sulk when we’re criticized.” Having said that, the clinical psychologist warned that “if these behaviors are the rule, rather than the exception, then it’s possible there are some roadblocks on the way to adulthood.”

    #7

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    Swishergirl24 Report

    Ozzie Ogawa
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My body is still tired as hell, but this frickin brain just wont shut up

    Bart, I am your Father
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm too tired to be awake and too awake to be asleep. It's an awful world.

    Duck Master
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m tired in the morning amd at school but as soon as we get home suddenly I’m wide awake

    Ruth Fichter
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm tired all night long while lying in bed wide awake.

    GoddessOdd
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I told my sister I was thinking about taking a nap at 4 pm... and she told me I'd never get to sleep at night if I did...and we laughed and laughed.

    Jo Johannsen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm tired until I turn off the lights.

    Martha Meyer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is me. Except this also was me at age 6.

    Peter Ledoux
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a night person 12 1 am not unusual ,so at 7 am I get up or I can sleep in and miss breakfast.

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    #8

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    lolzysz Report

    troufaki13
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's mostly bills now... When I was younger I used to have penpals from around the world!

    Mark Howell
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bills are just penpal letters, they keep coming no matter what you reply ;o)

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    Julia Atkinson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I reached 60 I began to be inundated with catalogues tempting me with incontinence aids and velcro fastening sandals

    James016
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All my post is bills these days.

    Kona Pake
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All I receive are solicitations for solar, insurance, selling my home, health plans, gym memberships and so much more.

    Id row
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I remember getting the Publisher's Clearing House bs prize letter and calling my mom at work and excitedly saying, "We may have already won 1 million dollars!" Then I ordered 10 cassettes for 1 cent thinking that was a great deal. Got in trouble when they sent a bill later on.

    Josias Sarquiz
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All my post is garbage. I pay everything online these days.

    Leanne Hailes
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep. My oldest has Autism, & he's the sweetest most gentle artistically talented young man you will ever meet, and with that comes A LOT of paperwork, snail mail & emails that will never end ever. On the other hand; if we lived in a poor country, I wouldn't receive any paperwork, snail mail or emails. Bottom line: Please send anything and everything that can help my super sweet boy! ❤💙💛

    Steve Fischer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So sick and tired of junk mail. Why do they send it? It just gets thrown out without being opened. Am I right folks?

    NL Stuart
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And it must Cost them a fortune to send it so often.

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    SCamp
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me, opens letter: Oh c’mon, not again!!! Wife: Another Speeding fine?

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    #9

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    donfrijole Report

    troufaki13
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mine's bottom left! ^.^

    François Carré
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't have a favorite one, I have a taboo one. I never use the top left burner and I can't even figure out why.

    Brendan Roberts
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't go near the top left. I might as well get the gas disconnected from it.

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    Cecilia
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's always the bottom right

    Gia SDP
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a back right burner gal. Rarely cook on the front burners because (a) I had kids and it became a habit, and (b) now I have a granddaughter who lives with me.

    Yoga Kitty
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Finally a person with some sense - back right, it is! Front right would be quicker hot, however, it is smaller than the one in the back and it is too close to curious paws. The ones on the left? I think I have used back left exactly one single time so far, wenn I for some strange reason really had to heat three pots at the same time...

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    Al Christensen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And when you use one of the other burners, there's that moment just before turning it on when you wonder if it still works.

    Insert Generic Username
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bottom left for me, my brother, my son, my nephew. Bottom right for mom. We talk about it in my house because we're all incredibly boring people, I guess 😂😂😂

    Sarah Barker
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Top left for me. I really need to get out more.

    Anna Banana
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes! Finally someone else from the top team! Though for me it's the right one. At least the pots and pans are out of the way. Not that I've given it much thought. Nope. I do have a life.

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    Wilson.
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Back right! Most difficult to bash into / knock off / hardest for small people to grab!

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    “And, of course, no one turns 18 and suddenly finds themselves fully rational, responsible and ready to smash all their life goals. The knowledge and skills involved in adulthood are accrued across the lifespan, gradually allowing you to become a more effective actor in the world, able to pursue your own interests while balancing them against the interests of others,” Francis said and added that essentially, we are all works in progress: becoming an adult is a lifelong pursuit. Meanwhile, “Immaturity happens when people are not progressing, when they are stuck in behaviors that aren’t helpful for them at their stage of life.”

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    #10

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    Report

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My fridge is where the vegetables go to die in peace

    lazy panda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One of my friends put a label on their vegetable drawer that says "Vegetable Hospice" 😂

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    Id row
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Get those produce saver containers by rubbermaid. They make fruits and vegetables last 3x longer. It's a very impressive product.

    KatHat
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    YES, I second this! Was going to comment that but then saw you already had :)

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    Mimi M
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Get micro-perforated bags on Amazon. Reuse them. You're welcome. (And no, don't get those 'green veggie bags'. They are worthless. And do not wash vegs before storing.

    KatHat
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know this is a joke! And yes, it's funny! And I'm still going to take the opportunity to say that the literal NUMBER ONE WAY we can all help at home to slow climate change, is to throw away less food. So - get a compost heap! Plan meals for a week before you shop! Freeze things that can be frozen if you're not getting to them fast enough! Throwing away less food is within ALL our reach :)

    Wendy O'Shea
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I buy bananas in color stages on the same day but they ripen at the same time. It I buy them at different times I end up with alcohol bananas and green bananas. There is no happy medium. Fred said it best.

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    Evil Hornet
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is anyone fast enough to eat them all before some of them rot?

    LynzCatastrophe
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The veggie drawer is called the morgue.

    John Mallett
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just hope that the expiry date is before mine.

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    #11

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    KaranveerPannu Report

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You mean i have to stop saying "my mom said no"?

    K
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I actually blame my husband. He has plans for us. He needs me to do stuff etc poor guy

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    Luther von Wolfen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Oh, I'd love to, but my cats are home alone. Have fun."

    GoddessOdd
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I skip the middle man and go straight to 'no'. If pressed, my follow up is "don't want to"

    rusty razzi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ..should say that when it’s time to take out the trash..😁

    Meghna Mohan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Right before it's actually my wife said no 🤣

    Olga Dremina
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Nah, you just change it to "my spouse said no" when you don't want to go

    Daria B
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nah, don't want them trashing on my spouse

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    #12

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    primawesome Report

    Brian Bennett
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know it's terrible when eating becomes a hobby!

    Shoddy
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Especially when it's one you're incredibly good at.

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    lazy panda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As I sit here eating crispy M&Ms for lunch...

    Erik Granqvist
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Diabetes took that power away for me. It's not worth it.

    Lovin' Life
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same. I used to not really CRAVE sweets until I became diabetic

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    Danyelka
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can try Prison or Hospital.

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've finally reached the age where if I want pie for supper, I'm eating pie for supper.

    bkjr61 bkjr61
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now it's all about our own self control, lol..

    GoddessOdd
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    AMEN. I think I need one of those automatic timer things you can get for your pets... I can see me sitting at the table, knife and fork at the ready, waiting for the bell to ding and the little door to open so I can eat my dinner.

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    There are many aspects of the transition into adulthood. Francis elaborated: “it means learning to act rationally, rather than just react emotionally. Adults also seek relationships of equality and reciprocity, rather than just someone to look after them. Adults are in touch with their values, and are proactive in reaching their goals. And adults are realistic, particularly about who they are. This requires gaining insight into one’s own motivations, behavior, emotional triggers, strengths and weaknesses.”

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    #13

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    adventurousMug Report

    Imma
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think that was the reason why I had such a huge "age anxiety" when I would turned 25, cuz people that age were adults! And I didn't feel that I was, like at all!

    User# 6
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't worry. I'm twice your age and I'm still immature.

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    Tiny Dynamine
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let's drop the whole demeaning people because of their age. We are all born at different times and the older person that you are mocking, you'll be that age one day. Will you want younger people to mock you? I didn't think so.

    Tami
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    YES, thank you! It's weird to be nearly 60, still feel like I'm 30, but have young people react to me like I'm old.

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    Mazer
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was younger I learned to appreciate the wisdom of some of my elders, not many…just some. I loved that they had the courage to change the status quo and the system without victimizing anyone (unlike today). For the most part they realized people acted the way they did based on limited or just bad information, those wanting change did not need to demoralize their elders to embrace new things. Their parents were pissed off, disowning kids right and left, some parents came around, some never did, but the changes were made snd embraced none the less. So much changed between the 40-50’s and the 60-70’s which so many benefit from today. But kids now are stuck on OK BOOMER thinking they have their s**t together.

    Kipindichapili
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    That’s because all the old people you “respected” are dead now and the adults of your time are the old people now and they are called boomers and are stupid as shiit just like you. Ok boomer?

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    Brian Bennett
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When one is 18 one does not have a stable mind about age - we forgive you!

    Raven DeathShade
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I didn't know that. But then again I am someone who pretends to be a vampire because it's fun, so maybe that mentality leaked XD.

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    Agnes Jekyll
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    or the teachers you thought were 102 and then you look at your grade two picture and you realize they were 23.

    GoddessOdd
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now that I'm a little old lady I feel very bad about the little old lady remarks I used to make.

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    #14

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    davidbaran__ Report

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well yes, but I don't have to listen to me

    EEF🤓
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Doing a food shop, putting it away, sitting down and then ordering a chinese

    Brian Bennett
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But I would have to cook it. No wait a minute Cereal that'll do it!

    Id row
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But remaining child-free means you can afford to eat whatever you want.

    XenoMurph
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Personally, I love making great healthy food for my kid. It doubles the enjoyment.

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    Papa Bonez
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mine is that we have food at the house, but I just don't want to eat it. :0p

    MyOpinionHasBeenServed
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My own daughter tells me this whenever I'm salivating at the bakery section

    Jim Wamsley
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, but the Sirens of Sonic and Papa Murphy's are so powerful.

    Isabel Care
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My inner child throws a tantrum when I don't go down the biscuit and sweets aisles

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sure, there's food at home, but is there a chef, wait staff, and a dishwasher? That's why I eat out.

    bkjr61 bkjr61
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But I don't want the food at home because that means I have to cook, do dishes and clean up !

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    #15

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    MoBaigz6 Report

    Monday
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those were the days....I could fall off the trampoline and land on my face but be totally fine but now I pull a shoulder muscle just from opening the shower door wrong.

    Stephanie A Mutti
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to have knees. Now I have pain hinges.

    Terry Tobias
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My knees don't even work. One of these days I'm going to take a header down my stairs. I have to hang on to the rail like a little kid just in case one of them collapses.

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    ZAPanda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My favourite childhood memory is being able to shovel large amounts of food without getting fat.

    Yort
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can’t sit on the floor for 10 minutes without being in excruciating pain but when I was a kid I basically was always on the floor. I ate on the floor (with a tray table, not literally eating off the floor).

    Eb
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What about kneeling? Used do it at school for assembly, no problem. Now, the pain!!

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    El muerto
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    what's with all the bodily pain? in your 30s!! I didn't get that until I hit 40...ok 38, still

    Hanna Sofia
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i just turned 26 and my back and knees are way more painful than they should be :))

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    LynzCatastrophe
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I fell out of a tree once. Got back up and climbed it some more. Now my back hurts if I sleep wrong.

    CultOfBambi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In my early twenties a tree I was climbing fell over (roots had rotted) and pinned me under it. I managed to lift it up high enough with my legs to get free and all I had was a few scrapes. This past weekend I did half an hour of light gardening and I've been so sore I actually took a sick day to recover.

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    albernistuff 4sale
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I sneezed. now in traction for a few days...

    Shine Caramia
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had to see a chiropractor twice a week for six weeks because of a sneeze.

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    Ari Trionfo
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ironically, I had rhumatoid arthritis as a kid, but with treatment I don't have it as an adult, so my back and joints don't hurt anymore!

    Bora Zrinyi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "If you are over 50 and don't feel any pain when get up at morning, you are dead."

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    Francis also noted that “it’s important to emphasize that the idea of independence in adulthood does not mean you don’t rely on others.” He explained that we are social animals, and we need each other to survive and flourish. “The independence of adulthood is more like the independence of a nation, which interacts with other nations on an equal footing, makes independent decisions and is responsible for its internal affairs.”

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    For those who think that adulthood is a lot of work, Francis says that it’s worth it. “What you get in return is the power to flourish on your own terms. By acting as a child in an adult world, it’s much harder to build a life you can be proud of,” the clinical psychologist concluded.

    #16

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    Herbivore_ Report

    James016
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's because they are scammers 99% of the time

    Yort
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Scammers or wrong numbers. A lot of the numbers I google don’t have a result on any of those scam call websites so I guess are just misdials? But it happens so often, it’s weird.

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    Natalia Allen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to hand the phone to my toddler and say bob the builder is on the phone for you.... that kiddo talked over the top of every salesman for as long as it took.....

    Id row
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's why caller ID is so popular. Everyone wants to know who's calling before they pick up.

    Terry Tobias
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thank God for spam alert on my phone.

    Seanette Blaylock
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We do that. We don't recognize your number and Xfinity caller ID isn't helping? You're talking to the answering machine.

    Gini Sarver
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the car warranty ppl are always calling my cell, in 2019 a dude called, when he finally shut the duck up, I asked why I needed to buy one from him when my new 🚙 literally had 300 miles on it he told me yea you don’t need this 😆 then hung up on me

    Abby Harrison
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    lol 1 time I was bored. when 1 of those car warranty guys called. I strung the dude along for like 20 mins. then when he thought he had me. n said sorry I don't have a licence or car, to need a warranty on. (im 29, but can't drive due to disability)

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    HarriMissesScotland
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One day I picked up because I thought it was my doctor's office. It was one number off, and the guy started his spiel. I was not in a very good mood and let the foul language fly. It felt soooooo good.

    Seanette Blaylock
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There've been a couple of times DH found a telemarketer useful to blow off steam if they called during a, shall we say, "tense domestic conversation".

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    Hotdogking
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Life hack; set a different ringtone to each of your contacts. Then you'll be able to tell who's calling. And if it's the default ringtone, that means it's a scammer. (unless it's your work phone, maybe don't try this on that)

    Yort
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don’t turn my ringtone on at all.

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    #17

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    portmanteauface Report

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Take your pillow when you visit friends. They will not be insulted. They will understand

    Terry Tobias
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do that when I travel. I took my pillow with me to the Dominican Republic.

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    François Carré
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What's worse is when you realize your bedding is getting old as well as you do. I was very happy with the expensive brand new mattress I bought myself with my first paycheck, until I had to admit it's been 15 years and it's pretty terrible now.

    Dee Lee
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Get a new one! I just did, literally this week, and it makes a world of difference! I have a terrible back, but the pain is much less and I am sleeping sounder. I wish I had done it years ago - may mattress was probably as old as yours. Plus, all the nasty mites & skin cells, ugh!

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    Dave Nalesnik
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And yes, young grammarians, they really did mean that you will feel like you were in a motorcycle accident of three days duration

    Eb
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    After 50 a decent mattress is more important than a car.

    Makajha Banjjjak
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There used to be times I slept in the floor of my friends room with my jacket as a cover, and be perfectly fine the next day. 20 years later are now the wrongly angled pillow is a problem. Tf

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You know you've reached "that age" when you wake up with more pulls/strains than you had the night before.

    Id row
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm like this x100, which is why I got an adjustable bed. Those things are a game changer.

    Dee Lee
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    MIne is a week old now, it is AWESOME! Who knew?

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    Andrais
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So true, I dislocated my collar bone in my sleep.

    LynzCatastrophe
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Years ago during a trip home to visit family, I ended up counting down the days till I could leave. Not because they were driving me crazy (though they were), but because I hated the pillows in the guest room.

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    #18

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    Emilia26774099 Report

    Lee Macro
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Irish coffee.....best of both worlds

    Id row
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Being drunk and wired at the same time is not as fun as it sounds.

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    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah, may I introduce you to sherry

    third molar
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why is irish coffee the only option, why cant we invent whiskey latte or bourbon mocha??

    Pittsburgh rare
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let me introduce you to carajillo, coffee and cognac. Super traditional in Spain.

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    Evil Hornet
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's always afternoon somewhere

    Kim Blizzard
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I honestly didn't experience that problem until Covid...

    BasedWang
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    100% always time for one of these things. And coffee is not necessary

    Ellie
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If yes to both, then it’s tea time.

    Anna Banana
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's always tea time. It's just extra when it's also coffee or alcohol time.

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    v
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The trick is to find that point in the middle when it's the perfect time for both.

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    #19

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    cia_nash Report

    El muerto
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    me at 27 : peanuts, coffee and wine is a well balance diet.

    Mermaid Elle-Jaye
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    34 - still not married, no kids and no house 😂 but I love it 🥰 so much free time to explore me and my hobbies

    Ozzie Ogawa
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me at 27 : nah, with this wage i could only afford kid when i'm 60

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *checks also the box that says delivery without any interaction*

    LynzCatastrophe
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me at 34: if I can't order from an app for whatever reason I'll eat a bag of chips.

    SPQRBob
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There was this one app for a restaurant that had a button you pressed to join the "call-ahead seating" list to minimize your wait. When you pressed it, it would actually call the nearest location so you could talk to the host staff directly and I cannot express the full magnitude of how much I do not want that functionality.

    Gini Sarver
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    before I married my grocery shopping was 30 TV dinners, a couple 5ths of jack daniels and coke 😁 oh happy times i miss u 🥺

    King Kashue
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In her defense, have you met other humans?

    ojjunior
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But happy as hell without kids yelling and trashing my place.

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    #20

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    laDzeyzus Report

    Amanita Virosa
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband 100%, he also buys action figures. I call them his dolls to annoy him. ;)

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    Sky Render
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ...And then never using it because who has the time and energy for that as an adult?

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Three shades of metallic markets, even then I had to excuse it by saying they were for writing on Christmas cards

    Tobias Rieper
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i am over 30 my mum still wont let me buy a crossbow

    not your average weirdo
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I'm an adult I will buy all of the glittery gel pens and craft supplies :D

    Lousha
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A few years back I saw one of those toys in a Pound shop where you have a bunch of little fish twirling around, opening and closing their mouth and you have to get them with a small fishing rod that has a magnet on its end. I always wanted one but mom deemed it silly. It was of course, and at the time fairly expensive. I also had three tons of toys. But it stayed with me that I missed out on this so when I saw it I bought it. Played with it for like two minutes and then I was done. VERY happy two minutes, totally worth a Pound! Later I dropped it off in a charity shop, hope it found a kid that won't have to wait 30 years for those two minutes!

    Jo Johannsen
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ooh, colored pens, pencils, and markers are so seductive. And I can't draw.

    MyOpinionHasBeenServed
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom still thinks she can control where I travel. Apparently I'm not allowed to go to Mexico. I would have to go in stealth mode but I need an emergency contact who doesn't know my mom and that is absolutely no one.

    NL Stuart
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to have roommates who would tell my mother I was "at a meeting" or "in the shower" and Then call me wherever I was traveling. I'd call her from there. But once I didn't get the message until I got home. When I called she said "You were at the Marti Gras weren't you?" Guilty as charged.

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    René Studer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One thing I do as an adult is buying the Panini-Album every world cup and EURO tournament with two boxes of stickers, put all the stickers in and never look at it again, simply because I always wanted to do that as a kid.

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    #21

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    JustinnBrownnn Report

    David Woollands
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I kind of lie there with one eye open - very dangerous if you’ve already turned off your alarm

    Bender Bending Rodríguez
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's why I have alarm's on my phone from 5AM to 8:30AM in 15 minutes intervals.

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    Ozymandias73
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Amazing how quickly 1 min turns into 10 after your alarm goes off and you don't get up right away

    Dat one frog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I DO THAT I’m 13 and I have early morning classes. PAIN

    loopyli
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do this everyday and also cry a little. 🥲

    Id row
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My morning routine has always included this, even as a kid.

    Edison Michael
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those minutes trying to convince oneself that, yes, you HAVE to wake up must be included on your calculations when setting the alarm.

    Legen ( wait for it ) dary
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And thinking how long, and how much effort will take you to get back to bed again.

    Ti Wa
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just press snooze every five minutes for half an hour in the hope that the need to get up just disappears somehow.

    Brian Bennett
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gettin up is like being drunk, you must have one foot on the floor at all times, supposed to stop the room from spinning!

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    #22

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    baeleighjo Report

    Rijkærd
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We are way over 96 times range now....

    Leslie Burleson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have three autistic kids and one autistic grandchild all under one roof . I say it at least 1,000 times a day

    Gabby M
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    God Bless ... Or Whoever....just bless you

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    Limey
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mine is “oh for gods sake” but yeah

    Atero
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm in IT, therefor I'm way over 96 in just last hour.... :/

    renee brack
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The constant expletive-filled muttering to myself at home in private changed when Covid hit. Now I do it in the supermarket behind my mask. I talk to people and they don't know it. I tell them what they should and shouldn't buy - to escape an aisle while they still can: 'Keep walking. Don't stop near the giant tubs of ice cream. They're trying to f__king kill you...'

    Dat one frog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do it… a lot more then 96 times a day… it’s like 96 times every 8 minutes

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    #23

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    AstroReeceV Report

    Space whale
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm no where near over 30 but it still makes me happy! :)

    Lawrencium
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Haha, "no where near over 30." It comes faster than you think!

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    Mark Howell
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait till you hit 50+, you start repairing them ;o)

    madbakes
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cleaning products give me so much enjoyment

    Ssss
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me too. I actually squealed when I turned on to the cleaning aisle the other day. Oh if 18 year old me could see me now!

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    Julia Atkinson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This no longer works for me, I've moved on to the hard stuff - Brillo pads

    Id row
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I ordered a scrub daddy today. I'm way too excited to get it.

    s. vitkovitsky
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm always very gratified to find cellulose sponges in green or purple -- I don't want to wreck these beautiful objects by using them. Also, reading this thread is making me happy that people derive pleasure from such small, daily things. Or we need to get a life ...

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    Eb
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The one on the left still has about six months' wear in it - middle age is like being teleported to wartime rationing.

    LynzCatastrophe
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Years ago my favourite ones were restocked at the store I bought them at. That actually caused an identity crisis that day when I realized the highlight of my day was finding dish sponges.

    Irishwoman abroad
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, it could be worse... One of my happiest moments of last year was finding the shop had got in New stock of the recycling bin I wanted in a particular colour. How sad is that!!

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    Anna Banana
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Actually I just feel guilty every time I get a new sponge for contributing to the plastic problem (sadly I haven't yet found an alternative that works for me).

    s. vitkovitsky
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cellulose sponges are ok envitron!emtally, and they look like bread!

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    #24

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    uhhdamn Report

    Marcellus II
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you're a musician, that's typically the best available career move, yes.

    CatGirl
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is my financial plan - I've basically GOT to die around 65-70. There won't be any more ice floes left by then, of course, and I couldn't afford to have children, otherwise I'd tell them to abandon me on one.

    Sawdust
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't do it, George Bailey!

    Agamemnon Padar
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same here when I think about retiring. My pension plan is being dead.

    Lola M
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Relatable. F**k Student Loans.

    ShadowStalker36
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Youd think that but no, cause now youve got funeral costs, and im sure the mortician' would bill you after you depart

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    #25

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    Kozher_FG Report

    KombatBunni
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love my mid afternoon naps. As a kid I found them boring, but as an adult I like to lay down for a half hour or so and snooze.

    Piet Puk
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And as a bonus the cat comes to lie with you. Best naps ever!

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    Mazer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Naps have always been under appreciated by the young

    MyOpinionHasBeenServed
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom used to sleep on the weekends a lot and then go out on a Saturday, then sleep much of the Sunday away. Felt a bit alone. I don't go out much but I feel so drained sometimes I have to sleep but then I feel guilty not spending time with mine.

    Whowhatwherewhy?
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Granny use to say, she was going to rest her eyes

    Lunar Rat
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep, now I am 43 I completely understand why my dad spent most of my childhood asleep.

    Isabel Care
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    With a heat pad...for 12 hours or more (heat pad turn of after one hour for safety)

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    #26

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    archillect Report

    troufaki13
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Probably the cat just sat on the keyboard! 😂😂😂

    Phil DeBlanc
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ♪♫ We come from the land of the ice and snow From the midnight sun where the hot springs flow ♪♫

    Rijkærd
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mood right everytime I wake up...

    Bill cipher
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This. This is the epitome of my existence

    Bill cipher
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow i didn’t know my current mentality could manifest on these things

    Sakura Haruno
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    it is telling you get off the road because of bad traffic, snow,and accidents!

    Steve Fischer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Frozen on A, just like everything else

    Seabeast
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Somebody is having a very public melt-down.

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    #27

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    Eden_Eats Report

    MaggieWest
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel that I would do very well in a world where they don't expect you to be conscious all day. Mandated afternoon siesta, anyone?

    Apachebathmat
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m nearly 50 and I’m pumped if I wake up in the morning and at least one joint doesn’t ache!

    LynzCatastrophe
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And realizing the desk chair is way more comfy than the bed....

    Maryanna Baldridge
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I believe this is a direct correlation to the fact that we work during the day and don't at night.

    Marco Conti
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    8am to 5pm, barely able to function. 6pm to 9pm, cannot keep eyes open. 10pm to 1am: ready to play a set of tennis or compose a song, practice my flight sim chops or maybe catch a simrace online. 3am, listening to lecture on Medieval Philosophy to try to get to sleep. Rinse and repeat.

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's not adulthood, that's just life.

    Caroline Overill
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s not just me then. I can’t sleep at night but I fall asleep in front of the tv and wake up a couple of episodes into a box set thinking who the heck is that? What are they doing? Where am I?

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    #28

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    AbbyHasIssues Report

    El muerto
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    an a wide collection of "good boxes"

    Nicola Roberts
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    hahaha just wait until you cannot throw away gift bags

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    Linda R Ryan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Empty plastic coffee containers with good lids, anyone?

    Edison Michael
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would never buy a box bed because I need my mattress to be separated from the bed proper. After all, the space between both is where all the nice gift wrapping paper lives!

    K
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband does this! I never met anyone else who did it

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    Tiny Dynamine
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Try re-using them instead of getting new ones all the time. It's an easy habit to make.

    Seanette Blaylock
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For me, the challenge is remembering to convey them back out to the car to be used. :)

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    Mazer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I take mine to the dog park or give them to friends with indoor cats

    Terry Tobias
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I actually miss the availability of plastic bags for this reason. Stores don't use them in NY State anymore.

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    ZAPanda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    See the clever thing to do with the shopping bag bag, is to put it at the feet of the front passenger seat. That way when you go get groceries you take them in with you, and the f*****s at the till ("cash register") don't ring up another bag while laughing maniacally at the thought of dying turtles.

    Monday
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And your collection will just keep growing. You can never have too many.

    Whowhatwherewhy?
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I actually have this. Bags stuffed into another bag

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    #29

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    adeywho Report

    postboredom
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You actually subscribed? I always thought it just drops on your head like a brick

    Raven DeathShade
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nah, childhood is a free trial, teenagedom is when you begin to realize your trial's at an end and your frantically try to cancel it before you get trapped, and adulthood's where you're forced to pay for the subscription you didn't ask for or you'll get arrested.

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    Insert Generic Username
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The kicker is that if you wanna unsubscribe, you can't just do it on the website. You gotta CALL to get it done 😂😂😭😭

    Gabby M
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And then they STILL deny your request!!!! Bastages!

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    LynzCatastrophe
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm making a blanket fort. Bring chocolate milk or wine. I'm not picky.

    Daria B
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let's do it like real kids on birthday parties and make that chocolate milk wine cocktail! ♡

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    Jace
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’d like to go back to childhood for a second try. Then again, growing up in today’s economy is probably even worse than the one I grew up in and was screwed by. School is more of a joke and jobs are utter abuse and don’t pay shite. I was lucky the first time around... and I’m on disability now from employer-created PTSD.

    New Everywhere
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And who keeps authorizing my birthday every year

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At my age, I'll be unsubscribing sooner than later. Looking back, I've come to the realization that adulting is a royal pain in the ass.

    Ben Racicot
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Turns out we’re all subscribed because LinkedIn sold our data

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    #30

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    momTruthBomb Report

    Ophelia Butz
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Without the drawer, they're in a pile. Without the pile, they're around the house. But they are NEVER in the trash because I need each one of the 18 chargers that work with nothing in my house. I just do.

    Julia Atkinson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The drawers are full and I've moved on to biscuit tins

    Mila Kulash
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh yes. Sooo many cables, yet the one cable you need in that moment is nowhere to be found.

    Terry Tobias
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not just me?! I still have land-line phone cables that I doubt I'll ever use again.

    Anna Banana
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I actually got to use my decade-old phone cable a while back. I only had it because where I live there are designated places to dispose of old electronics, but they're in inconvenient places so I've been collecting old chargers, cables, headphones, lightbulbs and such for a few years now. I felt extremely vindicated on that one occasion when my laziness finally paid off.

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    Seabeast
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me: "What is this one for? Do you remember?" Him: "No, but better hang onto it just in case we find out we need it for something."

    Evelyn Haskins
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I keep mine on the floor of my study.

    Meami
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And you're not sure if you still have the device that they are designed to fit but you know if you get rid of them, that Bluetooth speaker that is in the basement that you only use when you clean out the basement, will be dead and need to be charged... with the charger you threw out.

    bkjr61 bkjr61
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We got an 18 gallon Rubbermaid box full !

    Ruth Fichter
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just today I was comparing with my 50ish daughter about where we stash all these items.

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    #31

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    xcolorstorm Report

    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jezus! OP is only in their 30's!! Shut up.

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be fair it's the first decade you realise that you can have any body pain for no reason at all

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    Ray Heap
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    HAHAHAHAHAHA! You kids have no idea.... Wait until you are old enough to wake up in the morning, happy that... you....woke....up.

    September
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well you're 50s is wondering if everything that happens with your body is permanent and due to aging, or will pass in a few hours/days. Knowing full well that soon enough it's gonna be permanent.

    Zophra
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    50's - waking up and analyzing what body part is hurting...

    SCamp
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    30s, oh to be young again

    Mazer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    30’s…heck you are still a youngin’

    Wilko Lunenburg
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In your sixties you wake up amazed that you made it through another night.

    Carsten Petersen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well - if you're over 50 and doesn't wake up hurting somewhere - you're probably dead ;-)

    Søs Rasmussen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In your 40s you got tha flu every single morning and night 😉

    Izzy Curer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gosh, you need to be on Claritin. Or get a humidifyer. Don't live like that, sweetheart

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    #32

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    7karanangwa Report

    Phantom Captain
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So true! I literally can't stay up late anymore.

    GoddessOdd
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's the opposite for me. My natural clock, when it runs without interference, has me going to bed at 4 am, up at 11 am. While I was working on dayshift, it moved to midnight to 5 am. I retired, and I am trying to continue to get up at 8-9, but I feel the late night lifestyle starting to call my name.

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    Lara Verne
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nope, I won't go to sleep before midnight, unless I really have to.

    Twodogsandapicnictable
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I hit the couch its over. I only watch movies Ive already seen these days because I know I wont make it to the end.

    Gaya Knust
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unless you're a night owl, so you have no choice but go to bed late, wake up feeling awful and having to have a nap in the afternoon

    Casey McAlister
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lol I wish) I finish aowrk at 9, it's literally impossible to go to sleep before 2am.

    Agamemnon Padar
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    God, when I was in my 30s I was still young. What happened to your generation that you have become such whimps.

    Twodogsandapicnictable
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    30s are the perfect time for a midlife crisis. Everybody has the confidence they didn't have in highschool. None of the girls care who thinks they're a s**t anymore. You can finally afford a cool car to do lines in outside the bar that finally quit carding you. Its like being an adult and a teenager all at once.

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    I I
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i'm going through a 3-4 am wake up lately so 9pm feels like 12am

    M
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me at 12: I wanna...go to bed... My mom: No, we haven't even had dinner yet! Me: I...don't...care...zzzz

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    #33

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    Msalexcruz Report

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You just wait till you meet the involuntary fart.

    Brian Bennett
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And the sound of bones making a snapping sound on any movement!

    KombatBunni
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    These days when I get out of bed, I sound like a bowl of rice crispies ( or rice bubbles for my fellow Aussies).. lots of snap, crackle and pop 😶

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    Lady Vader
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A lot of these are so relatable I'm actually having a laugh and enjoying knowing it's not just me! 😂

    Memere
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ikr? Love that we're all seeing that we're all the same!

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    Pharmtechgurl
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A friend once told me that a sign of aging is that you make noises when you do things. She was right

    Memere
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Involuntary noises, which sometimes you don't hear, but everyone else in the room does.

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    LynzCatastrophe
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love having baths. But I base my bath nights on whether I think I can get out of the tub.

    Memere
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I cringed the day I bought grab bars to put on the side of my tub so I could get out of it! That was the day after I had to get on my hands & knees in the tub so I could climb out 😞

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    Eb
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If any older Brits are reading this, Petula's trapped wind in Dinnerladies used to seem like a hilarious joke. Not now.

    Evelyn Haskins
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's why they call us 'Groan-ups"

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What until the snap, crack, pop of your joints out volumes your grunts.

    chuck.dont.surf
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    See like not all dad noises are bad dad noises. So like maybe sometimes mum might say, hon, kids' gone away camping for the weekend, why don't we do some toe-curling? And then dad might lean in to a real Tony the Tiger dad noise like, grrrrrreat!

    bkjr61 bkjr61
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG, OMG ! From Fibromyalgia to Arthritis my body is screaming at me..I try to tell it to shut up but the mind and body don't cooperate anymore !

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    #34

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    bannock-and-biopolitics Report

    Helen Downey
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or, in Ireland, copping it's started raining and pegging it out to grab it in off the line before it gets soaked again!!

    EEF🤓
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or being out and then your clothes are just wet for another week

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    Roe Rainrunner
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My washing machine is beeping, when it's done. And it doesn't stop until you care. It's very needy...

    Daria B
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Owww.... Mine just sings a cute little song and that's it.

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    PurpleUnicorn
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Especially when using a shared laundry room in an apartment block!

    Bored Birgit
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always started at 6 in the morning to be the first one. 🙄

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    Jim Wamsley
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I remember those days when the laundry was the barracks coin operated washer and dryer, and some asshole would steal your clothes or throw them in the trash because you didn't empty it quick enough.

    Henry Russell
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    no not thelaundry i will save you

    Kylie Crawford
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Upvote to make all the laundry chores to go away! (I mean like always clean, i should invent a shirt that once you take it off it self cleans itself).

    MuddyPuddles
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My wash routine is always one regular cycle then once rinse and spin cycle the following day because I forgot about the first cycle

    Evelyn Haskins
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nah, Just bloody rain. Well it means the washing is getting an extra rinse, (I always thought that dryers turn themselves off! They did when I has one to dry nappies in.)

    Mandy Delaforce (PC Girl)
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ok.. I just literally said this. I had stuff in the dryer and forgot. LOL

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    #35

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    Kica333 Report

    Space whale
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Using a good pen has always brought me joy. Maybe I'm weird but I love stationary.

    Valley Girl
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I use the Dr. Grip. Nice and fat so my hand doesn't cramp up. That's the first thing I do when I get to work is pull that baby out. Sadly, the highlight of my workday.

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    Martha Meyer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Brought me joy through all my childhood, because fountain pens are mandatory at schools here in Germany.

    Terry Tobias
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I gave myself one for Christmas and it was my best present.

    Tacocat
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My favorite pen from age ten to now has always been the Pilot G2 .07 in orange

    LynzCatastrophe
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It brings more joy. The first joy is actually finding one!

    BasedWang
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No. I was a pencil purist. Using pens pisses me off. daily

    Katerina Huskova
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a left hander I've always have prefered pen 🤷🏻‍♀️

    Madalina Ghinescu
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am left-handed so not all pens work for me. I need to carry one with me all the time. So, yes, pure joy with the right pen

    Luther von Wolfen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cleaning the litter box makes you feel like you accomplished something.

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    #36

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    avanys_world Report

    postboredom
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And getting out is the worst

    LynzCatastrophe
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dog manipulates me into going to bed early. She decides when bedtime is.

    bkjr61 bkjr61
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Exactly !! I can't wait to get in bed but then I don't want to get out..5 am comes way to early !! It's still dark !!

    Apachebathmat
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I tell my bed more times that I love it than I do my husband, he’s ok with it but tells me to shut up as he’s “trying to sleep” after a while

    Glynna Bowood
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    YES!!! So happy when I get into bed each night.

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It was already like that since the very first day.

    GoddessOdd
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can't remember who said it but you're supposed to do two things that you don't like everyday to build your character. My two things are going to bed and getting up. Also getting in the shower and getting out of the shower.

    Bellashroom
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is the best damn part of my life

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    #37

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    IzzatElKhawaja Report

    Izzy Curer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When they start to turn, peel, cut, and freeze them for smoothies.

    Parthania Dawson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just made banana waffles with mine.

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And deciding that it's not actually that bad

    Anna Banana
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, I honestly don't care now. DIfferent story when I was 5, back then it was basically cyanide as far as I was concerned.

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    LynzCatastrophe
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Eh, by the time I see a bruise I just let it go further to make banana bread.

    GoddessOdd
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like my bananas still rather green, and detest banana bread, but any bananas I have that are turning spotty get frozen and either made into "ice cream" or dipped in chocolate if I have time... and chocolate.

    Dark Pearl
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If it's not too bruised, I like that bit of the banana! I only hate the stringy bits and the bottom bit that exists out of spite.

    loopyli
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Naw, I'd give that banana right to the dog.

    Hannah Edwards
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And telling people that something “wants eating.”

    Dee
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I noticed much less food waste when I started using that phrase!

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    #38

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    TheWeirdWorld Report

    troufaki13
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some teens look 10 years older though

    Monday
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I still have trouble guessing the age of anyone between 15 and 25....everyone is just "kid" in my mind now.

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    El muerto
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    me talking to anybody under 22, is like, "where are your parents little guy?"

    Jennifer Hargett
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I work on a military base. Every morning young, babyfaced MP's, armed to the teeth, and wearing bulletproof vests, check my ID as I drive through the gate. I'm so tempted to ask "does your mother know where you are?" They're just kids playing war

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    Dave Nalesnik
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And, at some point, “kids” starts to include anyone still in their twenties.

    Eb
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is true. I can't tell 18 from 30 any more - all I see is someone's kids.

    SomePeopleCallMeMaurice
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was in my teens, I thought most “real” adults were 40 years old. Robert Palmer: 40. David Bowie: 40. Sigourney Weaver: 40. This was in the mid eighties.

    Daniel O'Neal
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think this is part of the reason why Hollywood thinks they can get away with casting 26-year olds as high schoolers.

    MyOpinionHasBeenServed
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    20 year olds are looking like young teenagers now. It's weird seeing these 20 somethings working, trying to be successful and all that.

    Analyn Lahr
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The other day, I saw a bagging clerk at the grocery store and I swear he looked no more than 13. I'm thinking "are you even legally allowed to work?" Didn't say it of course, because it's probably insulting.

    Memere
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where I live, kids are allowed to work a limited number of hours at the age of 14, in specific types of jobs. I worked as a grocery cashier a few years back, and we had 14 year olds working as baggers who looked like they were 10. It depends on the state laws, at least here in the U.S.

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    Anna Banana
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I remember being in preschool and thinking that 10 year olds looked so tall and seemed so smart, they were basically almost-adults. Oh, how the perspective has changed that outlook...

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    #39

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    Craigadd Report

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm having a breakdown because I'm talking to bins now

    anik arfi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where does one find an emotional support bin

    Yoga Kitty
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe try a pet stone first? They are far easier to take with you than a bin. Good luck convincing an airline to transport your emotional support bin as hand luggage...

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    postboredom
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry bin, I failed this morning

    Callie Dryer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I breakdown at least once a week. Don’t tell me what to do bin!

    Bellashroom
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Am I finally crazy because I’m talking to a trash can?

    Daniel Marsh
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not even a Doctor Who reference?

    Lisa Tetlow
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    An Emotional Support Trash Bin

    Nadine Bamberger
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Having a breakdown because I forgot to put you out in time and now have to figure out how to squeeze in 3 weeks of trash into an already overflowing bin.

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    #40

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    alexdransfeldt Report

    Stephanie IV
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It takes such an effort to get out of bed immediately. Try it. Once you realize it gives you a 100% better start to the day, you’ll survive the initial dread each morning. Promise.

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    T. Hornworm
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My trick is to sleep in a cold room like 62° in my underwear under two blankets and when it's time to wake up I throw the covers off. The cold is like an espresso shot

    KMill
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    7:30!? I’d love to sleep in that late!!!

    Paul Davis
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just set your alarm for when you actually will get up - playing that 3-minute game is just not doing you any good.

    Legen ( wait for it ) dary
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mind says the same. I'm still trying to convince my body every Damm morning.

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    Dave Nalesnik
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hey, whatever it takes to get your body from “F**K NO!!” to “OK, FINE!!🤬”…

    Alicia Miller
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've learned time passes the quickest after hitting your snooze and passes the slowest when you're waiting for anything to cook in an air fryer.

    Brian Bennett
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you are smart enough you can figure a way to do this at work so no one notices!

    GoddessOdd
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My favorite is when I would wake up at 4.58 am... and wasn't sure to be outraged that I woke up too early, or grateful for another two minutes.

    Melissa Morse Tolentino-Potter
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I set my alarm to go every 5 minutes in the morning and i be like "only 5 more buzzes and i will get up"

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    #41

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    stacy_sutherlin Report

    JitkaBlitka
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Then you have kids and THEY CARE!

    Katerina Huskova
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not only about your favorite dinosaur! Also about your favorite color, second favorite color, favorite Disney princess, song, shoes, number, letter....YES you have to have a favorite letter! 😅

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    Marcellus II
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And there's SO MANY new ones available! Since the 2000s we are truly living in the golden age of paleontology, with more species named after 2000 than in the 200y before that! So, make sure you have a fresh new favourite.

    René Studer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was a kid everyones favorite was Tyrannosaurus. If someone said something else, we thought that kid was trying to be edgy.

    BasedWang
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    velociraptor always and forever... And the Jurassic Park ones, because those are quite obviously the REAL interpretation. Not what the silly scientists say

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    Nadine Bamberger
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I care, please tell me. Mine is the brontosaurus because I love the long neck and tail combo and it looks super friendly.

    Eat Dirt Crow
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And not ONE PERSON asked me if I could run faster with my new shoes.

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    #42

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    kennybeifa97 Report

    heidi hunt
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For real and that makes me sad

    Bobby
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I miss the money in birthday cards. Auntie always sent me a dollar, even after I had kid of my own. She was awesome.

    Alex Boomhower
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    and when your a kid $20 is basically $100

    Brian Bennett
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait until you are 77 and on a pension!

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not optimistic that I'll have a pension until then

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    Glirpy
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As long as I can still buy a few candy bars I'm ok.

    Evelyn Haskins
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I started work my salary was 20 pounds a week (aka $40) :-( We thought we were rich when our bank balance got up to 100 pounds ($200),

    justanormalpuggetnugget
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    my mom always do be wondering how every time we went to the store we would spend like 400-590 dollars. and we went every other week ; - ;

    Alan Gale
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Buying a few days worth of groceries, and spending as much as you paid for your first car.

    Ruth Fichter
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's because in 2022, $200 IS $12.00!

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    #43

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    ParisTyburski Report

    Brian Bennett
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh that childhood sin got me in so much do-do!

    Insert Generic Username
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think it did for most of us. Now instead of trusting my 17 year old to do it, I do it myself.

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    Pepper Pots
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yass!! Now what am i going to cook

    Diane Aguilar
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's remarkable to me how many of us have this horrible experience as part of our childhoods. I always thought I was such a failure for having forgotten to take the chicken (or ground beef) out of the freezer until about an hour before my parents were supposed to get home and then rushing to take it out of the freezer and put it under the hottest tap water possible to soak to try to defrost quickly. I thought literally no one else in the world was as inept as I was. But to hear that so many other children had that same experience is wild... and heartening as well. I'm glad we were all screwups as kids.

    Thomas Ewing
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They thaw quickly in the nuker...

    Evil Hornet
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All the food that goes into my freezer is never being eaten

    Kimi Tomminello
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You should put a shrine on it as it's where your food goes to die... I think I can hear taps playing in the background...

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    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And you did not understand it the first time, when you had to wait for three hours longer than usual before dinner?

    TahJia Williams
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you've ruined dinner for the whole family! THANKS!

    LynzCatastrophe
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And also contributes to why I get take-out more than I should.

    Signe Manat Hansen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just thaw it in a closed plastic bag in some water

    Izzy Curer
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    If it's so important, why did the mom expect someone else to do it? Why didn't she do it herself?

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    #44

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    PikachuCat69 Report

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just go to my room to cry

    Terry Tobias
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ohhh, I'm so sorry! I'm just numb most of the time because if I start crying it'll be hard to stop.

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    Thomas Ewing
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Put them in the bathroom with no diversions. Tantrums prolong the torture.

    Henry Russell
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i used to thing bed time was a punishment just imagine youre late for work go back to bed

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not if you have the ability to distract yourself from thinking.

    GoddessOdd
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Being sent to my room would be my favorite thing!

    Pia kjærgaard
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wanna go to My room now & stay there till. Tomorrow🤣😂

    Bobby
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Spoiler Alert: That's where all their favorite books and games are...

    Eb
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Except as an adult if someone came up to you at 6pm and told you to go straight to bed with no bath, you'd be very grateful.

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    #45

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    tyresexm Report

    Brian Bennett
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Forget it who want's a pile of s**t anyway! Just go back to bed!

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can't do the thing, I am too busy worrying about doing the thing!

    Rench
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Consolidate your feces!

    El muerto
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't, s**t doesn't like to be kept together. they grow angry and and run amok...and remember you get new s**t with time, that's doesn't want to be together with old s**t. so the best thing is to get rid of s**t you had to long

    #46

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    BriansJokes Report

    Arctic Fox Lover
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, I'm not an adult yet and I've read BP for long enough to realize that most adults in authority are kind of frauds haha. I have mastered the ability to guess what your childhood was like based on your behavior as an authoritative figure, ooooo *intense music as I open my third eye*

    Jace
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No third eye needed. Just a good set of critical thinking skills and the will to observe. Good job!

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    King Kashue
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tfw you're a teacher yourself and you realize that teachers show videos on days they're hungover/running on 4 hours sleep/need to get grading done/etc.

    Mark Yount
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Teacher here. Paid to be good. It takes its toll. When it’s time to throw down. We’re ready.

    Katiekat
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Very glad I'm 1) a retired teacher and 2) I did all my wild doings well before the internet. Of course, some is still there, since I have the world's most gigantic digital footprint dating from 1992.

    neil jagurdo
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Way to make it to the promised land Katiekat! I'm also a ret'd teacher and I don't know if I'd recommend it as a career now, which makes me sad. And yes, I was that wild friend who ended up teaching America's youth, and they loved me.

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    DelvianBlue
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's true! I'm a teacher and I've never met anyone who drinks like a teacher! But then considering we teach sometimes up to 150 teenagers a day, it isn't that surprising!

    Alicia Miller
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had an English Literature teacher in high school who would talk about drinking in her bathtub until passing out every night. As a kid, I thought she was funny. Now, I feel bad for her.

    Meami
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And some of them are the stupidest people on the face of the Earth.

    Johnny Pierce
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not if you went to Catholic school. For reals.

    Ruth Fichter
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Worse...the PRINCIPAL is my YOUNGEST son!

    Nazda Pokmov
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Teachers have always been dorks or jerks...nothing has changed....

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    #47

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    neal_thatdude Report

    Brian Bennett
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I truly am frightened on these multi lane hiways just stay to the right we gotta turn off somewhere!

    Insert Generic Username
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Haha my 50 year old brother has been doing this since he got his license at 16. I'm in my 40s and driving of any sort causes high anxiety for me 😂

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    MyOpinionHasBeenServed
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I cried when I had to think of beneficiaries for my insurance because I had to think of dying. I don't want to die.

    Ann Dennis
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Think positive .That means you're not morbidly depressed...yet.

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    Twodogsandapicnictable
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Its all relative. Each new measure of time is a smaller percent of your life than the last. Thats why one year seems 10 times shorter to a 50 year old than to a 5 year old.

    Belandriel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sure that's one reason, another one would be routine and no new exciting experiences that are worth remembering.

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    EJN
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah..."it's been a couple of years" = in reality, it's been 10 years! and I lost those other eight years somewhere!

    bkjr61 bkjr61
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It seems the older I get the faster time goes by..a week feels like 2-3 days and a month feels like maybe a couple weeks..I want time to slow down..I still have alot I want to do and need that time to do it !!

    Ronnie Beaton
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I took my elderly mother out for a nice meal in a local cafe/bistro, and afterwards we crossed the street to get some groceries. A car comes down a side street to our right, slows down, and crawls past us at like 2mph as we cross. But according to my mother the driver was going "Awfully fast..."

    Nazda Pokmov
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Life goes by faster when you're old for some unknown reason.

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    #48

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    Swishergirl24 Report

    ZAPanda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you eventually take it as background noise when it reaches constant flow.

    Leo Domitrix
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ain't that the sad truth. I ended up panicking one day because I didn't panic at all that day.

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    El muerto
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    thank you, but I already had them as a kid

    Abby Harrison
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    same. I was even hospitalised at 14, bc of it.

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    Mila Kulash
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Getting older, I've reached the point where I've gotten from having really bad panic attacks to a constant fear that's a little less bad but never really goes away. 😕

    Jo Johannsen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kinda like being served a subpoena.

    Makajha Banjjjak
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me driving in the tunel thinking of where to pull off in case of panic attack which makes me have a small panic attack, so yeah.

    Janet Floyd
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Extra points for waking up in one at 3 in the a.m.

    GoddessOdd
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've never had one, and now I am afraid to even think about it, lest I have one in anticipation.

    Idaaoyama
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Adulthood: I own several sets of fairy lights for my very own adult Christas tree. At least one doesn't work at all. All of them are tangled.

    Nazda Pokmov
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm 75 and never had a panic attack....what's that?

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    #49

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    Lucky_A_Leckie Report

    Brian Bennett
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I can just fake it 'till I retire yahoo!

    Evelyn Haskins
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    HA HA. Life goes on EXACTLY the same after retirement, though it is the young generation bossing you about.

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    Jarrod Nichols
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I keep saying to myself, "if nobody is coming back from the future to stop me, how bad can it go?"

    Evelyn Haskins
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was a child I looked forward to adult hood because I thought then that people would take me seriously. Honestly it doesn't happen. Seriously it goes from "What would yo know, you're too young!" to "What would you know, you're SO old." As my doc said, Life is just one short trip from the womb to the tomb.

    Rider
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fake it till you make it the company's new policy. Bonus, now you know the policy better than anyone and get a promotion.

    Nazda Pokmov
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have yet to meet someone who says that bologna.

    Dee
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s more of a thought than anything one says out loud.

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    #50

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    TisAIyssa Report

    Mazer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    HA. My neighbors wife said this to herself the day before all the power went out for a week. Her husband was a bit flustered worrying about having to go anywhere right up until he realized he had not refilled the BBQ propane tank and had to borrow my camp stove and bottled propane to cook anything. Lessons learned. There are benefits to being an avid outdoors person.

    GenXandEarnedItAll
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't need to write that down. I'll remember it.

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    #51

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    WizardMacDonald Report

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    #52

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    JBsoHood Report

    ZAPanda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    supported. Put on change.org please.

    Jo Johannsen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't you dare! If I had to wait til 68, so do you! 😡

    boredkitten
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Retirement age just seems to be increasing :( Do you think it will ever start decreasing at least by few years?

    #53

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    shutupmikeginn Report

    Julia Atkinson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    28 - 4000 BC: I am the oldest member of the tribe and it's an honour to be chosen for the sacrifice

    #54

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    Mariannoo Report

    James016
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Then you start comparing the cost per 100g and have to decide which is the better purchase at the moment.

    Julia Atkinson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When a British person has a pre-decimal flashback and thinks "these things used to cost half a crown each"

    Yoga Kitty
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I still sometimes calculate Euro back to Deutsche Mark...

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    Jo Johannsen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Price going up before you reach the check out stand.

    ZAPanda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is another four-yorkshiremen item. I remember in my day when a sandwich would cost ZAR 2 (approx $1 at the time). Now they're like ZAR 40 (approx $3). These things upset me.

    Brian Bennett
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't know about any where else but in Canada we have 2fers Like 2for4 dollars but one costs you $2.45. Never used to be like that in the olden days! I know I'm dumb at math but DAMN!!!!!!!

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    #55

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    SwaGGTheRapper Report

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Of course, what kind of a monster do you think I am

    Space whale
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It can make a difference. 4¢ is a lot

    Mrs S
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You think money just grows on trees??!

    Mart Se
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm more like putting $7.02 back and getting $3.45, Obviously regretting my decision later on kind of guy

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    #56

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    drinksmcgee Report

    ZAPanda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Soul self portrait = Edvard Munch.

    Mart Se
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Luckily swear words are not beeped out

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some people don't have inner monologue but it still screams

    #57

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    thebabylady7 Report

    Julia Atkinson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A lesson I have learned from bitter experience

    Memere
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And all cleaning products with bleach in them! Just one of the reasons I've switched to using distilled white vinegar for cleaning.

    Dee Lee
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    GOOD sweats??? All my sweats have bleach spots!

    Thomas Turnbull
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To late for me done it twice

    #58

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    euflor95 Report

    El muerto
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    thinking about it. there will be an age when all your friends babies are too drunk to find their phones.

    Yort
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There will be an age when mankind’s bones are naught but dust and ash.

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    Isabel Care
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am old enough to be a great grandma (UK) and have never acquired kids. My friends are childfree too.

    madbakes
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh yes, I remember this time in my life.

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    #59

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    itsdjluigi Report

    David Woollands
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It also takes the next day to recover

    Kay blue
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Then you stop drinking when you realise that hangovers last for 3 days.

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So I was already old at age 18?

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    #60

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    iamsashakae Report

    Terry Tobias
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For ever, and ever, and ever...

    Dee Lee
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just pick the money off the money tree, bae...

    Kimi Tomminello
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nothing magically appeared... Your parents/ guardians were feeling the same way you are now back then. It's a vicious circle.

    François Bouzigues
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can give up on q-tips, and make your own laundry detergent.

    François Carré
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't get q-tips, really. One of the most useless, harmful and polluting manufactured objects I can think of.

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    #61

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    AbbyHasIssues Report

    madbakes
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I get angry at the meteorologists who seem to always be wrong more than the weather itself.

    Jo Johannsen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You just have to accept they are giving whether reports, not weather.

    Mazer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The weather just makes bones, joints and muscles ache

    Memere
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    YES! I recall a recent study where some researchers claimed that changes in weather are not related to aching bones & joints. Eff them, the bone in my arm that got a green stick fracture at the age of 11 never aches until there's a change in weather coming. No frikkin researcher or doctor actually feels what I do, so they can kma with their study!

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    Victoria
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The weather makes my wrist hurt....

    Memere
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't get angry at the weather, just at the meteorologists who never look out the window & only rely on their "computer models".

    #62

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    sandraaaa_mo Report

    Mazer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have been alone since young, don’t mind it one bit. Didn’t mind it then, certainly don’t mind it now

    Kristin Ingersoll
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me too. Although SOMETIMES I do mind. And as I get older, I get a little scared. I'm totally happy with my own company. I have no desire to marry and I don't regret not having kids. I wouldn't change it, but every so often, I get a little lonely.

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    ZAPanda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think once you get to 40-something you realise people are full of it and mostly prefer your own company.

    User# 6
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ^This. The older I get, the less tolerance I have for people.

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    Dee Lee
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The answer is: CATS. (just don't hoard 'em - lots of people need cats these days)

    Julia Atkinson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Depends on how you spent your childhood and youth - being alone can be a joyous relief

    Sky Render
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That was definitely one of those "didn't know I needed it until I had it" things!

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    #63

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    Chhapiness Report

    Evil Hornet
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Weird... That's actually right

    Glirpy
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And the magnifier feature.

    Memere
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was just going to comment the same thing! I have an architect's lamp with a magnifying glass in it that I use for sewing. Plus 2 magnifying glasses with battery operated lights. Yeah, I probably also need to get my eyes checked & get glasses too.

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    Victoria
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ...I feel seen ... by the phone's flashlight

    KimTx
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At least ten times a day!

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    #64

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    treydayway Report

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Introducing the tax system

    #65

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    DamiOyedele Report

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    #66

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    furqan_pk Report

    Evil Hornet
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Hello darkness my old friend..."

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Darkness : "I am not your friend, loser."

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    moose man
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or you’re pregnant

    Mart Se
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Byt hey, i have access to adult money and all the icecream i want

    #67

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    kelllicopter Report

    Monday
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So...if one were to summon a demon in your home, could you start charging it rent right away? Asking for a friend.

    Joe Reaves
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There was an antique shop on one of those haunted places the other day where the resident ghost will sort clothing if it's just piled up and I was like ... where do I sign up for this ghost?

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    #68

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    Kica333 Report

    Josias Sarquiz
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    check check check check check oh, ok

    Monday
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have 4/5....I'd say I'm right on track!

    xvslnx
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lids are not missing, but they don’t fit or close anymore for no idea what reason.

    KimTx
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    After 50: 1. The cords are in a box. Somewhere. Just go buy a new one. It's easier. 2. Tupperware and lids are stored together and those without lids are In a box. Somewhere. 3. Anxiety. Soooooo much anxiety! 4. A collection of plastic bags in a plastic bag waiting to be used as a trash bag in the bedrooms, bathrooms, and car. 5. Sleep deprivation. Ovrnight bathroom visits. Undersleeping (you wake before the alarm and can't go back to sleep. More sleep deprivation.

    Yoga Kitty
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am 42 at the moment and must admit - none of the above. Am I doing this adulting thing wrong or do I just not care enough?

    Yort
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had anxiety as a kid but I know where all my lids are.

    Talon
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So, I’m a teenager and I have all of these

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    #69

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    TechnicallyRon Report

    #71

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    mommajessiec Report

    ZAPanda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes. Spring mattresses suck balls. They are super uncomfortable. Memory foam is the way, the truth, and the light.

    Talon
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Very much agreed. My teacher one time said her brother laid on her memory foam mattress for a bit (he’s a lot bigger than her) and when she lied down where he was it was like a warm cocoon just wrapped around her

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    Francesa Miller
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have a select comfort. It gave me 21 years of perfect sleep over 5 or 6 moves. I just deflated it, rolled it up and carried it to the car. No lumps or sag ever before, but it seems to have sprung a slow leak now.

    Moneythink
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Actually, I do have strong opinions on mattresses. I want one that's not toxic, and not one step away from being solidified gasoline. But those kind are expensive.

    Dee Lee
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Brooklyn Bedding has a great hybrid mattress, cotton wool top, natural latex, Bloom, I think it's called. Not even horrible expensive!

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    Sky Render
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Got me a Casper, never going back.

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    #72

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    Jimmie_tobie Report

    Rider
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I sneezed and threw out 2 ribs. Took 2 1/2 weeks and 3 chiropractor visits before I could take a deep breath.

    moose man
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Holy s**t that’s intense (I’m 15 in Highschool so like yea I am surprised)

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    #73

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    springrooove Report

    ZAPanda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Zero. Exclamation points make you sound too hyper and does not convey your inner death.

    Yort
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Half of your comments are very depressing.

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    Mazer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Getting older means not giving a rats ass about what others think about your choice of self expression!!!!!!!!!!

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Zero. Being passive-agressive and overly-politely-insulting is much more satisfying.

    Glirpy
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Adults don't proofread.

    #74

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Comfy Panda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Truer words have yet to be spoken ROFL

    Isabel Care
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At a very young age, I learnt to let out the fury by crying. People though I was soft and easily upset. I was trying not to put them in hospital and me in secure accommodation.

    #75

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    safwanxnabeel Report

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And teenage is whining "Why are there always ball-breakers to break my balls-uh?! Hello, grandma..."

    Yoga Kitty
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's "Leave me alone!!!" in my case, but yes.

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    #76

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    MiaFins1 Report

    Dee Lee
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Haven't quite learned that trick yet, maybe that's why I'm unemployed, lol!

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    #77

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    roothallen Report

    ZAPanda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry it is not possible. I prescribe 2x glasses of red + 1x paracetamols + 2x Chlorphenamine maleate + 1 x Trepiline. Result: Inner peace.

    Isabel Care
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Read a list of "stims" that people do. I found that I've always done all of them. Must be normal

    madbakes
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm okay with a little brain damage for peace at this point

    #78

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    thefaithasaurus Report

    ZAPanda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Middle age is saying "WTF it's saturday again already? Hallefuckinluyah thank god thank god i can sleep".

    François Carré
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But as soon as you finish that sentence, it's monday again already.

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    #79

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    andwhatamom Report

    not your average weirdo
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have a favorite stall in the school bathroom.

    moose man
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same. It’s the handicapped one because it’s all the rom I have there for my skinny ass. And I’m not even disabled

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    Talon
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have a favourite toilet stall at all of the places I usually go, work, school

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    #80

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    mom_ontherocks Report

    Isabel Care
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have one in the kitchen that has a sensor, so it opens when my hand gets near it. Great for when I am holding myself upright with the other hand.

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The ones on which you press a pedal with your foot, so you don't have to touch it directly.

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    #81

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    MichelleStrauss Report

    Olga Dremina
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Remember in comedy movies there was that dad, who kept weird old outfits and told "That was a great trend, it will come back, you'll see"? I am that dad now.

    #82

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    jzux Report

    #83

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    maryfairybobrry Report

    Terry Tobias
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It makes shopping much more enjoyable for me.

    Memere
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Except when another shopper starts singing along & they have a horrible singing voice!

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    #84

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    MoAshlei Report

    Ola Polowczyk
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And laundry. So. Much. Laundry

    Sky Render
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Makes you realize that nudists have the right idea. It's all about practicality!

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    Dee Lee
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And the bathroom. Who knew baseboards could get so gross?

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    #85

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    AbbyHasIssues Report

    ZAPanda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where youthful optimism is replaced by thoughts of precisely how many years you'd get for shooting the neighbor.

    Lara Verne
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where optimism is replaced by constant irritation.

    Libstak
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel this so much. Especially when you hand over your special frozen bag but they start putting your frozen stuff in normal plastic bags, every time, like seriously are you messing with me?

    #86

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    Tw1tter_K1tten Report

    Sarabura
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have my own stash because it keeps disappearing from the medicine cabinet

    Talon
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have my own stash from my parents bottle

    #87

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    prrriiiyanka Report

    ZAPanda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    meaning your wife (if a straight male). With apologies to all those taken-advantage-of-by-lazyass-husbands here.

    Joe Reaves
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh God yes. I am arranging a funeral and dealing with all the stuff that comes with it and I have spent the last week looking around for a grown up who can help me with it all. I'm 45.

    Dee Lee
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So sorry! And while you do this, the damn world keeps spinning round and round... seems insulting somehow. May you find good help and healing.

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    #88

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    bossy_bootz Report

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    #89

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    imrupsingh Report

    ZAPanda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fortunately here that's not quite how it goes, people start to hassle you about marriage when you get to 30-something.

    Monday
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can confirm on the marriage bit...but my mother is slowly starting the "oh look at this cute baby" conversation.

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    Sky Render
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wonder when it changed from "you're so young" to "you look so young" when people hear my age. Probably was around 25? Nowadays I get a look of sheer disbelief, so I must be doing something right!

    #90

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    tavonga_chinez1 Report

    Mazer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Age 40: Hoping your doctor isn’t 25

    Terry Tobias
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *chuckle* I felt that way at 37 when as a mature student in college I had a professor 2 years younger than me.

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    #91

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    Tatty_Tatts Report

    Terry Tobias
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My friend is buying me a car battery for a Christmas present. I'm so happy!

    Yoga Kitty
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Whenever I expect visitors and they absolutely want to bring a gift I ask them for a bag of potatoes - 2,5 kgs, 3 kgs, 10 kgs - whatever you think is appropriate. I love them, I'll eat them, I would otherwise have to buy them myself and no, I definitely do not need another scented candle!

    Isabel Care
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A fully functioning skeleton, with good connecting parts that don't hurt and a more cooperative brain

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    #92

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    AbbyHasIssues Report

    Henry Cheves
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I will fight you if you say a back burner. Lower left, I could see, if you have a different kitchen layout than me, but back burners are only for 3-4 items at once, which is not possible without burning down the house.

    Comfy Panda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Team bottom right lol. My bottom left doesn't work correctly.

    Memere
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mainly use the front left, but to boil anything, it's the front right. The 3 back burners are for the tea kettle, the steamer pot, & whatever dirty pan my husband left. He cooks his own food, so he can clean up his pans!

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    #93

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    whoraviyadav_ Report

    Mark Stewart
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or complaining about the ridiculous noise kids listen to these days and realise with horror you turned into your dad.

    ZAPanda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fortunately I kept up with music but I totally grinch my kids about minecraft. I mean, compare the graphics to any other modern game and you are like really is that the best they could do in my day duke nukem had better graphics than that.

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    moose man
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I call the freshmen at my Highschool 6th graders. They are really short and annoying. My history teacher hates them so much that he admits to the sophomores and the grades above that he would love to punch one in the face

    Talon
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m a teenager and I sigh at my teenager classmates

    YourWorstNightmare
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm 14 and sigh at teenagers constantly

    #95

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    dadmann_walking Report

    Talon
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me for every day I have to stay home from school cause I tested positive for covid

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    #97

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    holy_schnitt Report

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No it's when you replace wow with f**k

    #98

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    NickMotown Report

    Isabel Care
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Had no money and no bills to have no spare money and still have bills

    #99

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    dinesh__bhanot Report

    El muerto
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    as you get older, it gets louder. until you walk around the house shouting f**k every two seconds

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    #100

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    UnFitz Report

    Evil Hornet
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Time between 5am and 6am is my favorite time of the day

    Kimi Tomminello
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mine's a half an hour later than yours lol. I get some peaceful me time with the animals before the other humans wake up lol

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    #101

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    momtransparent1 Report

    Piet Puk
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    6 whole hours?? Yes please, where do I sign up?

    #102

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    beingbernz Report

    Jo Johannsen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I became an adult before I started school. Did anyone else's family's kids stick black olives on their fingers at Thanksgiving dinner (USA) or other family gatherings?

    Rijkærd
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ....deciding...thats the word.

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So I will never be an adult.

    Thomas Turnbull
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    Still a no for me

    User# 6
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Only if they come with a martini.

    #103

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    Parentpains Report

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    #104

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    whosthatmiss Report

    Sowieso
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And this untill you don't know any more what you really want!

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    #105

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    pvemind3 Report

    Isabel Care
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pretending you are a person that can do what you need to do, then going home and hiding under the covers until you recover from having done it.

    #106

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    JimGaffigan Report

    #107

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    karlishanel_ Report

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    #108

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    TabithaDBasia Report

    Monday
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Only if you're against piracy

    ZAPanda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Only if you're in favour of supporting globalised capitalist hegemony" - there I fixed it for you.

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    Dee Lee
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    micro + soft = two words I don't want in my life

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    #109

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    Antss1j Report

    #110

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    katielienemann Report

    ZAPanda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    wait till you get to your forties katie. you'll have so much zero f***s to give.

    Comfy Panda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    40's?! I started giving zero f***s in my 30's lol

    Memere
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait til you hit your 70th birthday. Mine was 3 months ago & I'm still reeling.

    Terry Tobias
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can remember as a kid thinking to myself that in the year 2000 I'd be practically dead because I'd turn 40.

    #111

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    TheMandiEm Report

    Rider
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm jealous they have that many dishes. I've been hiding the last spoon in my nightstand while everyone else eat soup with a fork.

    Thomas Turnbull
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At least you have a dishwasher ours is me

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    #112

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    keval__16 Report

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    #113

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    figgled Report

    Henry Cheves
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry for the delay, I will talk to you shortly.-I will forget that you ever existed in the next 5 minutes.

    #114

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    GraceGFreud Report

    #115

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    FiyinTMO Report

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    #116

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    Lhlodder Report

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    God bless grandparents and their "still thinking in francs instead of euros" annual generosity!

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    #117

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    eric_golde Report

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Who says that? Nobody says that! Everyone knows your best years are your 30s!

    #118

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    Cairo_Mathebula Report

    ZAPanda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Hello dear friend in christ. I am Abuja Banjango, a prince from Lagos, Nigeria. etc etc" .. that mail.

    moose man
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I got one of those, but it was a scam email about a guy went to this African prince to increase his d**k length. I swear I never signed up about that. I swear on my dog.

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    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Mister Deschanel. I must sadly inform you of the death of your estranged millionnaire great-grand-uncle..."

    #119

    Funny-Adult-Tweets

    NikkiheartsTay Report

    Downunderdude
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just want to lie in bed WITH Taylor Swift but I don't think that's gonna happen. Sigh.

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