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30 Ex-Prisoners Who Spent More Than 5 Years In Prison Share What Shocked Them The Most After Their Release
Many understand that going to prison poses some drastic changes in people’s lives, given all of the things that happen inside prison walls. However, not many really consider or even understand the “reverse culture shock” that is also a huge factor in the lives of those who return from prison, especially if it was a long sentence.
Reddit user RedditR_Us recently went to r/AskReddit and asked those formerly convicted to longer than 5 years in prison what was their biggest shock in the outside world once they got out of prison. And Reddit delivered with many either telling their own stories or stories of their relatives.
Image credits: Jobs For Felons Hub
Bored Panda has collected some of the most insightful and interesting answers from the post, so check them out in the list below. While you’re there, why not also vote for the ones you liked the most and leave a comment on what you thought about this, or with your own stories.
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#1
I had an older gentleman come in one day and he seemed a little off. Not like weird, just like he felt out of place. He came up to pay after his meal, and I was making small talk with him. Kinda laughing and joking, waitress shit. Whatever. He hands me his card and it’s a JPay card, which is what you used to get upon release from prison. I swipe it and hand it back, and suddenly he seems overwhelmed. I asked him if he was ok, and he was like, “This is the first place I stopped after I got released. I was afraid you were going to treat me different after you saw my card. I haven’t been in public in 20 years.” I have literally no idea what he did. I don’t plan on ever looking him up, but like I was nice to him. He was emotional because I treated him like a person.
Pseudo Puppy 5 years ago
considering the treatment required to keep prisons "in line"..... I can understand his response to be treated like a regular person. <3 :(
Gin Saya Carter 5 years ago
I wish everyone was like you. We are all human beings, no matter what our mistakes.
comprar-trafico-web 5 years ago
Louisiana Supreme Court upheld life sentence for guy who stole hedge clippers, but I have literally no idea what he did. I don’t plan on ever looking him up, but like I was nice to him
deanna woods 5 years ago
This is awesome. Even though someone has been to prison doesn't mean that that is who they are.
RELATED:
#2
Spent 6 years behind bars. When I got out the biggest shock was the beautiful sites and colors. I forgot how gorgeous nature was, it put the thought into my mind that I never want to go back, because there is no beauty in prison, the beauty is on the outside. I'm glad I'm out now, and every day still take in the amazing outside world for what it is. Edit: I also am having fun with new technology. Lol.
CincyReds 5 years ago
This makes me really sad, I understand that people have to pay for their crimes, but not getting any outdoor time is insane
Dónal Ó Murchadha 5 years ago
They do, but there's no flora and fauna to admire, just 30ft walls
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Fred and George Weasley 5 years ago
i agree with cincyreds. although people in prison have done awful things they need to be allowed time outside so they dont become pale and vitamin d deprived its not fair on their health. its so sad that this happens and that people are crazy overwhelmed just by nature after prison release
#3
I went in around the first iPhone. Came out around 2014 and what disturbed me the most wasnt so much smartphones but how everyone everywhere had one in their hand staring at it. It felt very black mirror / twilight zone-ish.
Eva the Ravenclaw Bookworm📚💖 5 years ago (edited)
Hard to noblely agree with this while on an appliance, isn't it? Yipes, excuse me while I go scold myself
Craig Silberman 5 years ago
I've never been away, and I'm still shocked at how everyone everywhere (especially drivers) are constantly touching and looking at their phones.
Mishte Tine 5 years ago
Get a dog. Get a dog. Get a dog. Doesn’t solve everything, but just get a dog. Big hugs.
Being in prison in the US seems to be a relatively common occurrence with over 2.2 million people currently serving a sentence. In fact, incarceration rates per 100,000 inhabitants in the United States are the highest in the world, clocking in at 655. This means that every 152nd person in the US is now incarcerated in some shape or form.
In context, third in this list is Rwanda with 464 prisoners per 100,000 inhabitants, and number six is Australia with 172. Do you see how drastically the number dropped by just 6 positions?
The Sentencing Project states that today’s numbers are a 500% increase over the last 40 years. Such high numbers inevitably strain the prison system, leading to overcrowding in prisons and fiscal burdens on states, despite the ever-increasing body of evidence claiming that large-scale incarcerations are not an effective means of achieving public safety.
#4
I was in for Robbery 2: Mandatory Minimum of 5 years, 10 months. One of the hardest things for me once I got out was making choices. Let me explain; in prison, you might have a two choices for shampoo if your lucky. The first time I went shopping for hygiene essentials was at Target. I remember being so overwhelmed by the amount of choices for shampoo and having no idea which one to get. I stood in that aisle and cried for a few minutes before I just left without getting anything.
Scagsy 5 years ago
Robbery is bad, agreed. But is institutionalising someone to the point of crying in the shampoo aisle really the answer?
Kiss Army 5 years ago
I've worked in a prison for almost 30 years. I have an administrative position and I try to make a point to have conversations with the inmates that work in my area and are releasing soon to kind of help prepare them for outside life. Simple things like using coupons to save money, shopping at thrift stores, where to find community resources, etc. I always make a point to treat inmates politely and like people, because that's what they are people... who made mistakes. I also feel like if we don't try to help them learn and grow and prepare them to make the adjustment to the changing outside world, they may end up right back inside.
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Jennifer Wagner 5 years ago
I have a friend who felt the same way after serving in Iraq for a year. He went to Wegman's to grocery shop and left with nothing. Too overwhelmed.
Gin Saya Carter 5 years ago
Yes, I have heard this from people getting out of prison, but also friends who live in other countries too. We have too many choices in America.
Jane Alexander 5 years ago
I so agree, even if you know whatyou want, good luck finding it in all that mess. It's like a roomful of spoiled brats all screaming Me, Me Me,..
#5
My father was a councilor in a state prison for 12+ years. He told me the inmates would often talk about wanting to feel their body submerged in water. Taking a bath, swim, etc. There are only showers so that feeling up being weightless, floating, submerged was something these men would fantasize about.
Donna Leske 5 years ago
See, I never thought of that but very moved now that I think about it.
Uriel Grey 5 years ago
I can understand this as a fat person and wanting to go swimming but afraid of the stigma of doing so
Varvara Bondarenko 3 years ago
Hey you have a beach body. If you have a body and there's a beach. Or maybe it's a pool body. You decide. Screw the haters. Go swimming. You deserve it.
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#6
My brother served a little over 3 years but the morning we picked him up we stopped by a grocery store to let him grab some snacks. He’s walking back to the car with this stunned look on his face and finally as he gets to us he goes “I felt like I was on an acid trip I haven’t seen that many colors in so long, I need to sit down”.
Khadeja 5 years ago
Not funny, just sad. You realize this is our solution, institutionalize people who just made mistakes during their troubled youth to the point where they get tripped over colors? That's just insane. They're humans too, flawed ones, yes, but aren't we all? They deserve the simple luxuries of color, nature, and Earth's beauty as much as you do.
Load More Replies...For the most part, respondents to this Reddit thread explained things that seem quite common and regular to us, but given the context—the fact that they had long-term sentences within very limited and uneventful confines—it is surreal to think just how much a person’s life and view of things changes because of the sentence.
Things like feeling the bristles of a carpet between your toes and seeing bright colors are things we’re desensitized to, but spending 5+ years in prison changes that. One person explained that prisons are never dark, so getting used to sleeping at night is sometimes a hard task to do because of how dark many of our homes tend to be during the night.
For others, it’s the technological advancement that blows their minds. Some said they were shocked to see how realistic games have become, while others were surprised that things like Siri are not a thing. One commenter even wrote that their buddy would use Snapchat filters on everything—that’s how amazed he was.
#7
After 8 years behind the wall freedom was my toughest obstacle. Freedom of choice, freedom of movement. I went in when I was still a soft faced boy of 19 and came out hardened at 27. My entire world changed. I was now in control (mostly, thank you probation and parole) of my choices. 60 different kinds of cereals, 2000 channels on tv, the option to go almost anywhere I wanted. Having had my life so neatly regimented and defined I actually thrived. Take that all away and I got lost within myself. It was a struggle to find that balance again but I'm happy to say that 6 years later I am happily married to an amazing woman, working in a great field as a machinist and making good money. I still struggle now and again but I know I'm making good choices now and am surrounded by love. And still have cravings for nacho meals, gods help me!
Cathleen Day 3 years ago
Congratulations and wishing you every continued success! You've had the rough, now the smooth is flowing in!
Courtney Christelle 5 years ago (edited)
Having and keeping to a routine is really important, it can help ground you when you start to feel overwhelmed and stop you from falling back into the same stuff with the same people.
#8
I interned at a private criminal defense firm. The most notable shock of any of our released clients had to be one man who in prison for 16 years (odd amount because he was paroled as part of plea deal). He had a daughter who was just a child at the time he was incarcerated, and when he got out, she had just had a baby, his first grandchild. She didn’t tell him about the pregnancy beforehand, she wanted it to be a surprise upon his release. I wasn’t there when our old client met his newest family member or his now-adult daughter, but when he came in a few months later, he still couldn’t talk about the new baby without crying happy tears. He had a picture in his wallet of his daughter when she was little he brought with him to prison, and showed us the new picture of his grandchild he keeps with it now.
MERCI LANGSTON 5 years ago
what do you mean now a good reason to stay out? Is his daughter not one?
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Elsker 5 years ago
ohhh this breaks my heart... being seperated from your lived ones for so long
Eva the Ravenclaw Bookworm📚💖 5 years ago
Well why are you downvoted? No idea. Here's an upvote.
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#9
You forget about the details of things. Like the way carpet feels on the bottoms of your feet. What it feels like to shower completely alone and without flip flops on. In prison you have a certain number of smells that you're exposed to every day, think of them as the first page in a book. But when you get out you have the rest of the book available. It's a lot to take in all at once. With social media and everything, there's the acknowledgement of the passage of time. When I got locked up I left a lot of friends and family behind and did 3 years on my own, no visitors, no calls, no mail. When I got out it was a trip to get on Facebook and Instagram and see how everyone I was ever close to had moved on with their lives, having kids, getting married, getting fat, losing weight, starting and quitting jobs, falling out with each other, some even passing away. People think about a prisoner doing time but don't understand that the time does them. You are frozen in it. While you're stuck in a constant loop of the same day every day, the rest of the world moves on without you. When you get home, you feel left behind. It's an anxious panic to catch up after that.
J Sizz 5 years ago
It's not sad, they made mistakes and it's up to them to make themselves better while in prison, some inmates handle it better than others and take advantage of all the resources. Inmates can't get calls (unless they got a cell phone in somehow) it's on the family to visit and send mail so that's not the inmates fault. During those same days over and over again they can take free classes, work, get free medical, free dental, etc. They're gonna have their individuality and comforts taken from them so they know not to come back if they get out.
KT 5 years ago
im guessing did something so horrendous his family and friends were shocked to disgust and didn't want to see him again
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Timothy Patel 5 years ago
I wish more people knew this. It is the small things that affect you. If you think life is hard before you have a criminal record, it just becomes a lot tougher and options more limited with one.
Mewton’s Third Paw 5 years ago
This is the realest one to me. Prison is just a loop of the same thing over and over. Enough to make someone suicidal, because, what’s the point?
J Sizz 5 years ago
The point is to rehabilitate and become a functioning member of the world.
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#10
I did 6 years. My biggest shock was finding out you can’t do much of anything without a smartphone. Companies don’t even do paper applications anymore
Nicola Roberts 5 years ago
I've just swapped my smartphone after 4 years. It has been an absolutely pain in the proverbial. It very cleverly transferred all numbers,photos and apps, but it doesn't copy across usernames and passwords. Probably for the best, but I've been carrying two phones with me for the past week because, who knew, absolutely everything has a password these days.
Uchman 5 years ago
I don't know where you save your password, if you're using Android, chrome can save all your passwords which you can retrieve on any new phone. It's not even new!
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Donna Leske 5 years ago
Ummm, that's actually not quite true. I've never been incarcerated and I've never had any kind of cel phone. I do have a laptop, I can do applications, buy things, make appointments, emails, messages, zoom meetings, google, and sell all kinds of stuff. Plus print out shipping labels for stuff I sell. A smartphone is NOT a necessity.
Astrid Nineor 5 years ago
Two separate issues -you need a smatphone - you cannot apply by paper
Load More Replies... #11
My father was incarcerated from 2003 to 2016 & the biggest shock for him was technology & how much McDonald’s has raised prices lmao
Bob Belcher 5 years ago
Oh it worked, we just hated restocking it when I was a kid and worked there lol.
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Hans 5 years ago
"lmao" is probably the most inappropriate way to end this. Nothing to laugh about if the own father was imprisoned for 13 years...
Cat Nip Gal 5 years ago
I think they were laughing the McDonald's prices.
Load More Replies... #12
Just got out. Weirdest thing was seeing all these damn scooters laying everywhere
CincyReds 5 years ago
Yep. People use them and just leave them laying anywhere. I hate those damn scooters.
Billy The Kid 5 years ago (edited)
they can go pretty fast too! the worst ones are the ones that ride them on the pavement
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Katinka Min 5 years ago
You did not even have to be in prison to wake up one day and trip of those millions of those pestilential things. A week at your parents is all that was needed for me.
#13
My aunt was imprisoned for about 25 years as a political prisoner in China. When she was released she was just agape at the cityscape and how it had changed. The smartphones, being able to pay by just scanning with WeChat (very commonplace there, for paying something like parking it is very convenient), all the cars. The fashion everyone wears now compared to her closet of clothes she had before being taken away so suddenly (literally, she was kidnapped from my mom's family in broad daylight, unannounced) . In the end she took it all in much better than we all had expected. Right before the pandemic, she had just finished a three month vacation in Guilin with my other aunts. According to her, Guilin has changed the least.
AnaV. 5 years ago
All those years in because she didn't agree with their politics, for us living in free countries is just unimaginable
lara 5 years ago
Or for being a Muslim or a Christian and worshiping. Oppression is the greatest a fact of life in China, Russia, North Korea, Cuba and Venezuela, and that is terrible.
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Billy The Kid 5 years ago
after 25 years in prison it must of been like stepping into the future. i can imagine how scary that feels. Embarrassed to ask whats this? whats that? what does that do?
#14
I know a guy who did 2-3 years I think and I worked construction with him. I asked him “what is the biggest thing that stands out to you now that you’re free?” He simply said: “the fact that I’m here with you but I can physically walk over there to that field 500metres away without anybody or any walls stopping me.”
Donna Leske 5 years ago
I wish before crimes were done people would have that image pop into their head. A simple thing to walk here, there, everywhere and then have that freedom taken away. Don't do the crime if you...
Bunzilla 5 years ago (edited)
I don't think it's just as simple as a matter of, "If I do this, I won't be able to walk everywhere I can now, therefore I won't do it."
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Eva the Ravenclaw Bookworm📚💖 5 years ago
@ autism genius, BP accidentally copied one of my previous comments on to this post. I forgot which one.
#15
I work in jail but when talking to a lifer who was about to go out on parole, i tried explaining smart phones, which blew his mind. Then I described pokemon GO and he thought i was just messing with him. He got angry that I would make shit up. I wonder if hes running around playing pokemon GO now...
EA 5 years ago
I love the idea of someone discovering Pokémon GO after all this time and being excited by it! And hopefully helping them make new friends. I miss the social part of that game
Mewton’s Third Paw 5 years ago
It was cool as f**k when everyone was playing it. That was the last time things were really good. Summer of 2016.
Load More Replies... Holly Molly 5 years ago
Haha the idea of seeing on your screen what your phone camera sees, but with a virtual pokemon that you don't see in reality. Kinda like seeing a ghost hahaha
#16
A friend of mine was in prison from age 16 to 32, and he said the biggest hurdle to overcome was trying to learn how to date and have healthy relationships without going through the process of dating during adolescence and early adulthood. He had to learn to meet his partners where they were at and to understand that the women his age often had relationship experiences that they carried with them, positive and negative, that would impact them in their current relationships. He couldn’t relate because he didn’t have that “baggage,” so he had to learn it through them rather than by his own experience. He also strongly advocates for the need for comprehensive sex education and education about healthy relationships in juvenile detention and prison
M O'Connell 5 years ago
Education about healthy relationships should be important for ALL juveniles, incarcerated and otherwise.
#17
I drive Uber and picked up a guy that had just finished 15 years for drug charges. He had only been out a few days and thought the Apple Car Play in my car was some type of alien witchcraft. I ended up telling him to move to the front seat and let him play around with the system for the duration. He really got into the endless music that Apple Music had to offer.
Kisses4Katie 5 years ago
15 years for drugs.. And how many rapes go unpunished and murders unsolved?
#18
Cousin did 5 for meth and robbery, when she came out she started crying when she saw my youngest sister was almost an adult.
#19
My brother just recently got out after 4 years! The first thing he did was take a shower then run his feet along the carpet in the house, he said he “just had to.” We asked him what he wanted for dinner and he was like “anything..But I could make us some ramen..” Along with that, I feel like people who were in prison for so long have a hard time making decisions anything we got him and asked what he wanted it was too overwhelming to choose. All honesty it makes perfect sense, he hasn’t had a much choice in his life for four years and asking him what kind of clothes he wants was hard for him. All he could say was “nothing grey, I don’t want to wear grey.” I hope he’s out for good, I can tell life outside is overwhelming at times but eventually he’ll get used to it :)
CincyReds 5 years ago
Seems that Jail or prison, could have sometime of class and how to get acclimated to the outside world. Has no one seen Shawshank Redemption? Poor Banks
Dónal Ó Murchadha 5 years ago
Yes and I think the guys name was Brooks Hatlen. The old guy who hanged himself!?
Load More Replies... #20
The first night I tried sleeping in a dark bedroom like I did before prison, but couldn’t do it. My dad slept on the living room couch with a TV on, so I slept on the other couch. I needed to sleep around people & noise for a while until I got used to being alone again. I was surprised, because one of the things I missed the most was sleeping in a dark, quiet room, alone in a comfortable bed. For a long time I slept with my arm or a pillow over my head because of noise & bugs.
Eva the Ravenclaw Bookworm📚💖 5 years ago
I actually like sleeping with light and faint noise, like people talking, in the background.
Mariana Schneider 5 years ago
Me too. Reminds me of being a kid and falling asleep on the couch with my family watching tv around me.
Load More Replies... #21
I had a client ho was fascinated by siri on iphone. He was fascinated that he has a personal assistance at his disposal.He felt bossy
#22
I did 5 1/2 on a 6 yr sentence. I think my initial shock was how the physical landscape had changed. Places that were once vast swathes of field were now car dealerships and homes. The other one was how people treated and spoke to one another out here. I wanted to fight everyone for about 6 months.
CincyReds 5 years ago
I feel this way and have never been to jail. Hate that all the forests and things are turing into houses.
Billy The Kid 5 years ago
life always changes and in most circumstances it changes for the worst. Hope the future generation see a better light
#23
That i didn't have to ask to use a bathroom. And how many dangerous things people have around them at all times. I slid my knife away from me and under a napkin at a restaurant so i didn't get in trouble.
H Edwards 5 years ago
You appear to have entirely missed the point of this article lol
Load More Replies... #24
A homie of mine found the freedom really obscure. He was so used to the guards telling him what to do that he got accustomed to it. He was really anxious because he had no sense of direction. On a lighter note, he was amazed by Snapchat filters. He kept on posting on his Snapchat story all selfie videos with filters.
Curry on... 5 years ago
I wonder if occasional outings into a 'normal' environment would help them retain their sense of humanness?
Clandestine 5 years ago
I think we should do a better job at preparing ppl for release if freedom is overwhelming...
#25
I met a dude who had just gotten out of prison after 15 years, he said that his immediate shock was just seeing color. He said that everything in the joint was Grey looking, he went to Walmart and was overwhelmed by all the colors he had not seen in 15 years
#26
For my cousin, it was the Gameboy Advance. This was a while ago (2006 or so). My cousin, who'd been in prison for about 10-15 years, was finally getting out so me and a bunch of the family went to pick him up, then go get breakfast at some diner. I was just a little kid, at the time, so I was playing with my Gameboy Advance, while we were at the restaurant. I'll never forget how much the game I was playing blew my cousin's mind. He saw it and immediately said "Holy crap, what is THAT?! Look at those graphics! Oh my God, that's insane! (His sister) are you seeing this shit?!" To me, it was just some "meh" Star Wars game, but to my cousin, it was the future.
Mewton’s Third Paw 5 years ago
1991 compared to 2006 is a huge f*****g leap as far as tech and games (and pretty much everything). Basically going from the 80s to almost how things are now.
Bob Belcher 5 years ago
There's a Netflix series called High Score. If you love video games you've got to watch it.
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Cristina S. 5 years ago (edited)
There were a ton of technological advancements from the early 90s to 2006. That guy must have felt like he was launched into a futuristic movie.
Shea Fujishima 5 years ago
My kid has grown up on Playstation, X box and PC games, when I showed him Pong, he had the reverse reaction until I explained to him that was the FIRST time anything like that had ever been done.
Bob Belcher 5 years ago
Go watch High Score on Netflix. It will bring back great memories.
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#27
I spent roughly 9 years in total at a maximum security prison for some dumb decisions I made as a juvenile. Self checkout stands at stores and wireless headphones were definitely one of those, this can’t be real moments. I questioned reality. Like when you cannot explain an instance and it scares you trying to cope with, did that really happen? That’s how it felt.
Fred and George Weasley 5 years ago
its so stupid that hearing from this they dont give you life lessons in prison. like, you go in for a crime and when you leave youre expected to be a better person. like how tf does that work without dumbledore level witchcraft? how is someone meant to be a better person after having very little to see and do, wearing the same kind of clothes, eating the same food, being in the same room, seeing the same dull colours and having very little experience while in prison. how is one meant to be better?
N G 5 years ago
There are 4 purposes to incarceration (or at least there are supposed to be): 1) as a deterrent - to put others off from committing the same crime; 2) to protect society - fairly obvious; 3) to rehabilitate - so they come out and fit better into society and not re-offend; 4) justice - the most controversial one, and paradoxically the least important when it comes to wider society. Somewhere along the way the US criminal justice system kind of focussed on 4 and forgot about 3. Which is a shame, because if 3 were the focus 1 and 2 would be almost reduced to nothing.
Load More Replies... Mewton’s Third Paw 5 years ago
That’s kind of awesome in a way. A unique look at the world that only prisoners get.
Billy The Kid 5 years ago
in prison do they give lessons on the outside world just before they come out?
#28
I remember asking a coworker of mine. He said first was that no one had taken his car. It sat for 6 years unmoved in the street. Tires held air and battery was dead but started with a push. Second was how quickly things had gone up in cost. Rent, food, gas, things like that.
#29
was going to say, I have two family members who did a very decent amount of time... and of all the things that could've blown their mind, Spotify was the biggest. Even the obscure house artists they were buddies with back in '89 were on there. Not having to burn any cd's or buy records. They still can't get over it
Bama Belle 5 years ago
Never been in prison but I still can't get over smartphones. I mean, they're like magic.
#30
I have done 5+ years in prison, i was mostly amazed by smart tvs, with netflix and browsers directly in the tv. And the 4g internet speeds blew my mind aswell.
El Dee 5 years ago
In my country we have one person in prison for every five the US has (per 100,000) Prison is dehumanising. You hear people saying it's like a 'holiday camp' but I doubt they'd cope very well. No colour, nothing soft, no privacy, no safety, no say in any part of your life, no control. Then there's the separation from your family, hopefully you're close enough to home so they can visit regular and hopefully they'll want to. The complete lack of preparation for release (except for lifers) and the shock of being outside, alone and not quite knowing what to do. The shame of everyone knowing you have been in prison and you're forever marked by it, you will forever have to declare it, if asked, on job applications - even forty years down the line. Not my personal experience but cousins and brother-in-law..
M O'Connell 5 years ago
I don't understand people's obsession with 5G. The 4G service I have seems pretty instantaneous, I fail to understand why people would pay more for something "faster"
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#31
Being in cars. I got car sick for years after. Also you go from almost everything being done or decided for you to free will and so many damn options. Also I had a serious problem with staying home all day in the beginning. I would go for 4 hour walks bc I could.
Billy The Kid 5 years ago
when you are banged up inside for so long, the last thing you want to do is to be banged up at home staring at 4 walls!
#32
I did 93 months in Federal prison. After I got released we stopped at a Burger King. There were 4 of us in the car and our food cost 24.00. I kept saying there was something wrong, that they must have made a mistake. I couldn't believe how much it cost. Other than that, it was taking a shower barefooted. It felt so surreal.
Kisses4Katie 5 years ago
I remember feeding my family of 3 at Taco Bell for less than $12- now it's well over $30 and Taco Bell just isn't worth that.
#33
I did 5 years, as I went in after 2 weeks my dad died. 6 months before I came home, my husband died. It's weird when you get out and realise time hasnt stood still. ( although I know it won't you kind of think it does) my kids were all 5 years older ( obviously) yet the home was still the same. It was weird after 5 years, I think if I did longer it would have blown my mind. Although reality isnt a 'thing' in prison
Billy The Kid 5 years ago
must of been a heartbreaking experience. I bet your kids were happy to have you home though
#34
Rode a greyhound next to a guy who had recently been released. He spent the entire trip looking out the window fascinated by everything. He was particularly impressed by cars. He had not seen cars in person in years.
#35
Just money in general... You have no idea how to handle money, that takes a little time to get used to.
#36
Walmart. My 1st day out. I had an unreasonable fear the exit would close or I would get lost so I kept glancing towards the exit every 20 steps or so. I didn’t think of using a shopping cart so my hands were full of clothes. Took me about 7 trips to feel comfortable in Walmart.
#37
Silence and darkness. Most people don’t realize it’s never dark when you sleep behind bars. Small lights stay on for security reasons. It’s also never quiet - from people bull shitting to grown men screaming and crying at the life that lay before them all hours of the night. I heard San Quentin is the worst because people scream into the old piping that runs through the cells and it echoes and reverberates like a speaker.
Donna Leske 5 years ago
That would be torture for me. I like complete darkness when I sleep and I live in a tiny town of 1200. I wake very early and a few mornings ago I took a short video as I walked the dog at 4:30 am just to show my grown kids how quiet, dark, and peaceful it is here. And 4 deer lazily walked across the street right then.
Mimi777 5 years ago
Same. I need to have completely darkness and it has to be cold It sounds really nice where u live. Peaceful
Load More Replies... #38
My dad did some time, and on the way home he got excited because he remembered he could take a dump in total privacy for as long as he wanted
#39
When I got to ride in a car again, it felt like we were going about warp 15. I think we’re only moving about 45 miles an hour. It tickled my dinky like a rollercoaster for about ten seconds. Also, at the grocery store it was really hard seeing people willfully buying cans of tuna. But I think the hardest thing for me was to quit crushing up spicy cheetos and putting them in all my food.
Lauren Caswell 5 years ago
Is that because the food is bland? I'm just curious, it must be done a lot to have it's own slang
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#40
My cousin was in jail for 16 years i believe and got out in 2017 and i remember showing him minecraft and he said it was the coolest thing he had seen even before prison. I showed him some other games and he was absolutely blown away. I dont think i have ever seen a jaw drop down so far
#41
I knew a guy who went in around 2005 I want to say, got out a few years later and we were driving around. He kept pointing to people on the street asking 'what are those?' This was downtown Seattle at the height of Hipsters. That was a difficult thing to explain. Ended up with 'The new Goths' as a best translation.
M O'Connell 5 years ago
As an "easily identifiable youth subculture" that sounds like a perfect explanation.
Mewton’s Third Paw 5 years ago
“Kids trying to be trendy” explains it. Applies to goths too but doesn’t imply the darkness of goths that hipsters don’t have.
#42
Speaking about my good mate since he doesn’t use Reddit. He did a couple different stunts that landed him time but he was surprised at who all got in contact with em after getting out. While he was in only a handful of people kept tabs on him, visited or called but as soon as he got out all these people he hadn’t heard from started congratulating him. He said it probably shouldn’t of surprised em but it did, he didn’t want any of that and thought all of it felt so disingenuous.
#43
My father went to prison in 2011 and got out late 2019. He told me he couldn’t believe how much everyone is obsessed with their phones now and how much information people post online
Mewton’s Third Paw 5 years ago
The posting personal s**t online is lame as f**k and you shouldn’t have to go to prison to see it! So corny.
#44
5 years for aggravated assault & robbery. I was 3 months past my 18th birthday when I was sentenced. I lived in a small railroad town in South Central PA. I guess one of the biggest shocks for me was how much the town had changed. The scrub land where we rode our bikes and dirt bikes is now a strip mall. My friend's driveway is now the main road through that part of town. Someone fixed up the old dive bar and turned it into a fairly popular restaurant and bar. Hell, whole developments popped up all over the place! And while I wouldn't exactly call the changes "gentrification," the town certainly has improved as far as standards of living, without ridiculously increasing the cost of living.
What do you think ?
AzKhaleesi 5 years ago
For everyone complaining about rehabilitation, please listen when I tell you... that always doesn't work. And if you want to argue I got you because most of you that preach that have NEVER been to or worked at a prison. I have done 15 years almost (work not live) and I work on the rehabilitation side. I'm a counselor now, but I've been an officer (not guard we hate that) AND a Sergeant. But at least in my state we offer MANY rehab opportunities, classes, AA, NA etc. But a LOT of inmates sign up to get out of their cells and hang out with their "homies" or "girlfriends" (female inmates). You can't rehab what doesn't want rehabilitated. I will say that I've had many success stories. But for every success there's about 30 that play the game. It basically comes down to choice. If they are not ready to lay down the life, they are not ready to rehab and be better. For those that finally want the help its very rewarding.
Louloubelle 5 years ago
But you can't, and shouldn't stop trying. If there is that one success story, it's one less person out there re-committing crimes, right? And it's compassionate. Those of us that have been fortunate enough to have been raised by loving, supportive families, cannot ever know what it's like to not have options, or not have been taught right from wrong.
Load More Replies...
martin734 5 years ago
Much of this is due to many prison regimes focusing on punishment rather than rehabilitation. If all you do is put people "in storage" for the length of their sentence, the world moves on but they don't. Prison regimes that focus on punishment don't really solve the problems of crime, with a far too large percentage of prisoners reoffending after release. Prison should be about teaching the prisoners the skills, attitudes, and values they need to become better people and to contribute to society. If you treat them indecently, they will behave indecently, if you treat them with respect and decency they will learn to be respectful and decent people. Contrast the predominantly punitive US and UK prison regimes and the resulting reoffending rates with those in places like Sweden and Norway. Totally different philosophies with totally different results.
Jane Alexander 5 years ago
What amazed and disturbed one ex-con was how rude and 'unconcious' people on the outside are. I totally agree with him!
Billy The Kid 5 years ago
the only good thing that has come out of this virus is that people actually move out of your way when walking down the street! I hate arrogance.
Load More Replies... Hans 5 years ago
Some of these reflect upon technological progress or strange societal trends. Most, however, report how the US justice system does not try to reintegrate people into society. Prisons should not lock away people (but probably for those who unchangeable pose a treat to society or who did the worst crimes) but rather educate them. Prisons over here typically give jobs to inmates, thereby not only giving them proficiency but also a meaning. Recidivism becomes much lower, saving society incredible amount of money...and helping many who got off course to start a new life.
Billy The Kid 5 years ago
for all of those that have got out after so many years welcome to the outside world but it is not always easy. just got to learn how to cope.
Lauren Caswell 5 years ago
I was saddened when I learned about the American bail system, in that so many ppl are held in jail simply because they can't afford their bail, and also the disparity of bail seemingly deliberately set out of reach of particular ppl (poc, low income, single parents), like they have already been prejudged. It concerned me enough to give to bail fund initiatives even though im not american. Not a permanent solution but something to be a stopgap until hopefully they reform their heavily punitive system.
Patti Vance 5 years ago
#18 resonated with me because i used to teach classes to inmates prepping for release. it included things like what to expect in society, getting work, education, parenting and/or child support and sex. as woman, some were a little uncomfortable while others tried to embarass me which, frankly, usually backfired. since i worked in the d.a.'s office i told them if they had some issues that needed to be addressed that they needed to contact me asap upon release. one morning i came in and my clerk told me that someone was waiting for me since the doors opened. he came in & when i asked when he had been released he looked at the clock and said one hour and 15 minutes ago. he said he was just kind of lost and didn't know where to start other than with his parole officer. he kept in touch with me for several years until he passed away. sometimes, just stopping by to let me know he was still out.
sosunlight 5 years ago
What fantastic work, Patti! I can tell from this story you did it well and with compassion. You may never know it for everyone, but you'd have made a difference in many people's lives. Thank you <3
Load More Replies... Quinton Quan 5 years ago
My time in military required me to be away for long stretches of time. I spent most of the 80’s and the beginning of the 90’s living in Germany. In Germany we had one English station called AFN. When I left my TV had 3 stations. When I returned home cable TV was now became popular. It took a while to get use to new technology. Later I was stationed in Iraq. We went almost 8 months without rain. Not even a cloud in the sky. I remember the day I saw something strange in the sky and then realized it was a cloud. Back home, the first thing I had to get use to was colors. Everything in Iraq was desert tan or covered in dust. We all had the same uniform and all the trucks were tan. When we retured home, I looked at all the trees and houses along the road. The colors were over whelming. Sometimes I could not look at it for long. What I experienced was much less that someone confined in a cell , but I can understand their shock. I wish them well and hope they make good choices.
Mimi777 5 years ago
There’s a show on Netflix called Rectify. It’s about a man who gets out of prison after like 15 years. It’s an amazing show. And also I know someone who is getting out next year after spending 25 years in prison. I wonder how he will adjust. What will be the biggest shock. 25 is a long time
AzKhaleesi 5 years ago
For everyone complaining about rehabilitation, please listen when I tell you... that always doesn't work. And if you want to argue I got you because most of you that preach that have NEVER been to or worked at a prison. I have done 15 years almost (work not live) and I work on the rehabilitation side. I'm a counselor now, but I've been an officer (not guard we hate that) AND a Sergeant. But at least in my state we offer MANY rehab opportunities, classes, AA, NA etc. But a LOT of inmates sign up to get out of their cells and hang out with their "homies" or "girlfriends" (female inmates). You can't rehab what doesn't want rehabilitated. I will say that I've had many success stories. But for every success there's about 30 that play the game. It basically comes down to choice. If they are not ready to lay down the life, they are not ready to rehab and be better. For those that finally want the help its very rewarding.
Louloubelle 5 years ago
But you can't, and shouldn't stop trying. If there is that one success story, it's one less person out there re-committing crimes, right? And it's compassionate. Those of us that have been fortunate enough to have been raised by loving, supportive families, cannot ever know what it's like to not have options, or not have been taught right from wrong.
Load More Replies... martin734 5 years ago
Much of this is due to many prison regimes focusing on punishment rather than rehabilitation. If all you do is put people "in storage" for the length of their sentence, the world moves on but they don't. Prison regimes that focus on punishment don't really solve the problems of crime, with a far too large percentage of prisoners reoffending after release. Prison should be about teaching the prisoners the skills, attitudes, and values they need to become better people and to contribute to society. If you treat them indecently, they will behave indecently, if you treat them with respect and decency they will learn to be respectful and decent people. Contrast the predominantly punitive US and UK prison regimes and the resulting reoffending rates with those in places like Sweden and Norway. Totally different philosophies with totally different results.
Jane Alexander 5 years ago
What amazed and disturbed one ex-con was how rude and 'unconcious' people on the outside are. I totally agree with him!
Billy The Kid 5 years ago
the only good thing that has come out of this virus is that people actually move out of your way when walking down the street! I hate arrogance.
Load More Replies... Hans 5 years ago
Some of these reflect upon technological progress or strange societal trends. Most, however, report how the US justice system does not try to reintegrate people into society. Prisons should not lock away people (but probably for those who unchangeable pose a treat to society or who did the worst crimes) but rather educate them. Prisons over here typically give jobs to inmates, thereby not only giving them proficiency but also a meaning. Recidivism becomes much lower, saving society incredible amount of money...and helping many who got off course to start a new life.
Billy The Kid 5 years ago
for all of those that have got out after so many years welcome to the outside world but it is not always easy. just got to learn how to cope.
Lauren Caswell 5 years ago
I was saddened when I learned about the American bail system, in that so many ppl are held in jail simply because they can't afford their bail, and also the disparity of bail seemingly deliberately set out of reach of particular ppl (poc, low income, single parents), like they have already been prejudged. It concerned me enough to give to bail fund initiatives even though im not american. Not a permanent solution but something to be a stopgap until hopefully they reform their heavily punitive system.
Patti Vance 5 years ago
#18 resonated with me because i used to teach classes to inmates prepping for release. it included things like what to expect in society, getting work, education, parenting and/or child support and sex. as woman, some were a little uncomfortable while others tried to embarass me which, frankly, usually backfired. since i worked in the d.a.'s office i told them if they had some issues that needed to be addressed that they needed to contact me asap upon release. one morning i came in and my clerk told me that someone was waiting for me since the doors opened. he came in & when i asked when he had been released he looked at the clock and said one hour and 15 minutes ago. he said he was just kind of lost and didn't know where to start other than with his parole officer. he kept in touch with me for several years until he passed away. sometimes, just stopping by to let me know he was still out.
sosunlight 5 years ago
What fantastic work, Patti! I can tell from this story you did it well and with compassion. You may never know it for everyone, but you'd have made a difference in many people's lives. Thank you <3
Load More Replies... Quinton Quan 5 years ago
My time in military required me to be away for long stretches of time. I spent most of the 80’s and the beginning of the 90’s living in Germany. In Germany we had one English station called AFN. When I left my TV had 3 stations. When I returned home cable TV was now became popular. It took a while to get use to new technology. Later I was stationed in Iraq. We went almost 8 months without rain. Not even a cloud in the sky. I remember the day I saw something strange in the sky and then realized it was a cloud. Back home, the first thing I had to get use to was colors. Everything in Iraq was desert tan or covered in dust. We all had the same uniform and all the trucks were tan. When we retured home, I looked at all the trees and houses along the road. The colors were over whelming. Sometimes I could not look at it for long. What I experienced was much less that someone confined in a cell , but I can understand their shock. I wish them well and hope they make good choices.
Mimi777 5 years ago
There’s a show on Netflix called Rectify. It’s about a man who gets out of prison after like 15 years. It’s an amazing show. And also I know someone who is getting out next year after spending 25 years in prison. I wonder how he will adjust. What will be the biggest shock. 25 is a long time
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