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“The Entitlement Is Unreal”: Woman Steals From Colleagues, Believes She’s Doing Nothing Wrong
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“The Entitlement Is Unreal”: Woman Steals From Colleagues, Believes She’s Doing Nothing Wrong

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Even if your job does not entail a lot of teamwork, you might have to interact with co-workers on a daily basis nevertheless. And sometimes, the interactions are not all positive.

This redditor, for instance, had to confront her co-worker after realizing that she’s been taking things from people’s desks without asking. Though, even after said confrontation, the woman saw no problem in what she was doing.

Scroll down to find the full story and Bored Panda’s interview with a licensed clinical psychologist, Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D., who was kind enough to share his insight on the matter.

Certain colleagues can make life at work needlessly difficult

Image credits: Sora Shimazaki (not the actual photo)

This person’s co-worker would take things from people’s desks without asking

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Image credits: Marc Mueller (not the actual photo)

Image credits: aesop414

People take workplace theft very seriously, whether it’s someone’s pen or their money that’s being stolen

Sometimes, one aggravating co-worker is enough to ruin a perfectly fine day. For this redditor, it was her colleague who would take what’s not rightfully hers, consequently ruining people’s day and making them feel understandably uncomfortable.

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“People who have a sense of entitlement follow their own (self-interested) rules and can—and frequently do—violate the boundaries of others,” Leon F. Seltzer told Bored Panda. “This is a clear narcissistic trait, and though they may not meet the criteria for a full-blown narcissistic personality disorder, unquestionably they do possess one of the key narcissistic traits.”

Trying to put yourself in the shoes of the thief’s colleagues would probably make you uncomfortable, too, as the last thing you expect to happen at work is dealing with a thief. Unfortunately, in reality, it’s not as uncommon as you might think.

A survey of over 1,000 office workers in the UK found that more than one-in-seven of them have had their belongings stolen by a co-worker. (The survey also revealed that men were more likely to become the targets of workplace theft than their female counterparts.) A similar number of people consider such theft a very serious matter, whether it’s a pen or money being taken, YouGov reports.

According to YouGov, pens and pencils are the things that co-workers tend to purloin the most often, followed by note pads and printer paper respectively. The items that are stolen less frequently seem to be of a greater value, including such things as memory sticks, computer equipment, and even money or the computer itself.

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Image credits: Israel Andrade (not the actual photo)

Workplace theft can cause significant palpable and impalpable damage

Employees stealing from one another isn’t the only theft-related problem workplaces face; some of them suffer from employees stealing from the company itself. Some statistics suggest that three-in-four employees have admitted to stealing something from their employer and roughly 38% admit having stolen at least twice.

According to the 2018 Report to the Nations on Occupational Fraud and Abuse, even though the percentage of occupational frauds referred to law enforcement has declined by 16% over the last decade, such fraud remains extremely costly: the report found that roughly one-fifth of occupational frauds caused at least $1 million in losses.

While stealing co-workers’ K-cups and pens might not result in millions of dollars in losses, it can have a significant detrimental effect on employee morale and people’s emotional well-being. The OP pointed out that after learning that their belongings have been messed with, the employees in her company felt shocked, angry, and violated, and rightfully so.

“It would certainly make the workplace feel less trustworthy,” Seltzer agreed. “To be optimally productive, professional colleagues need to work as a team and I can’t think of anything that would undermine this orientation more than for one person to treat others as objects to take advantage of for their own selfish purposes.”

When discussing the possible ways of dealing with such a person in the workplace, the expert emphasized that anybody who can behave like this and think it’s okay to do so would be extremely difficult to reach. “The only thing that could work would be to ask her whether she’d be okay with her colleagues removing items from her desk without asking. If she says ‘no’, that’s a good indicator that she doesn’t think others are entitled as she does herself, suggesting the probability that she does have a personality disturbance.

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“However, it’s also important to consider that narcissists are frequently pathological liars, so she might say it would be fine with her but react very negatively if others put her alleged position to the test,” he added.

Image credits:
Mario Gogh (not the actual photo)

The OP provided fellow netizens with more details

People shared their thoughts in the comments

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caseymccoupon avatar
Megan Curl
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why add the “boomer” reference? Is that actually relevant or just ageist? ESA now for completely different reasons.

tabbygirl04152020 avatar
Tabitha
Community Member
1 week ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a late boomer (1960), and had GenX and Millennial coworkers do the same thing to me. One came up to my desk while I was sitting doing work, said Hi (and nothing else), then proceeded to open one of my desk drawers and take out a pen! Didn't ask, just took. I immediately said No you can't have it, you have to ask first. Her reply was something about everyone else sharing supplies, and besides they come from the supply closet. I said I don't get my supplies from the supply closet, I buy them myself (I have my preferences and the supply closet probably wouldn't have them anyway, plus I have my favorite stapler, tape dispenser, etc, that I have taken from job to job to make my desk feel familiar---yes, I am mildly neurodiverse so having familiar things around me helps me adjust to a new job), so taking them is taking from me personally. She decided to complain to the manager about it and of course made me out to be the bad guy, but after hearing my side---which was backed up by the other people around my desk who saw the whole thing, and knew I buy my own supplies---the manager announced that anyone who needs supplies should go to the supply closet and NEVER just take them from someone else's desk unless they ask permission first! That is the key point here. I would've gladly shared if I had been asked first, but I wasn't. Of course, people would then ask to borrow stuff, promise to bring it back, then never return it, so I would still have to do the rounds of the office and take my stuff back anyway---not right away, but after a reasonable amount of time. You should NEVER assume that anything sitting on---or in my case, in---anybody else's desk is up for grabs, ffs! OP and colleagues should keep registering complaints about the office kept---maybe even put in a camera to film her in the act---so they can go through all the protocols required for firing a government employee, which usually starts with a verbal warning. I hope the boss noted that verbal warning in her employee file, btw. Check with HR that the paper trail has been started, just to be sure. Believe me, there will be someone else who will be very happy to step into her job---who will also NEVER steal from their coworkers.

Load More Replies...
hermom504 avatar
WonderWoman
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The employee is an entitled wingnut. But why is OP outraged that it is a **BOOMER** who cares about the generation they were born in?? Entitled person is WRONG, period. Stop with the age c**p, it diminishes the significance.

laurawilliams_4 avatar
Lawpanda
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It does makes it seem like he's just as upset about her age as actions. I don't get what made her think anybody would be good with this..

Load More Replies...
stephenwild avatar
Stephen Wild
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This post is highly offensive and ageist. Edit the text and replace 'boomer' with your favourite racial or ethnic slur, repost it, and see how fast it is taken down...

vickitravis avatar
NewWestie
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree. The "boomer" reference/slur is irrelevant to the post, irrelevant and blatent ageism.

Load More Replies...
Load More Comments
caseymccoupon avatar
Megan Curl
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why add the “boomer” reference? Is that actually relevant or just ageist? ESA now for completely different reasons.

tabbygirl04152020 avatar
Tabitha
Community Member
1 week ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a late boomer (1960), and had GenX and Millennial coworkers do the same thing to me. One came up to my desk while I was sitting doing work, said Hi (and nothing else), then proceeded to open one of my desk drawers and take out a pen! Didn't ask, just took. I immediately said No you can't have it, you have to ask first. Her reply was something about everyone else sharing supplies, and besides they come from the supply closet. I said I don't get my supplies from the supply closet, I buy them myself (I have my preferences and the supply closet probably wouldn't have them anyway, plus I have my favorite stapler, tape dispenser, etc, that I have taken from job to job to make my desk feel familiar---yes, I am mildly neurodiverse so having familiar things around me helps me adjust to a new job), so taking them is taking from me personally. She decided to complain to the manager about it and of course made me out to be the bad guy, but after hearing my side---which was backed up by the other people around my desk who saw the whole thing, and knew I buy my own supplies---the manager announced that anyone who needs supplies should go to the supply closet and NEVER just take them from someone else's desk unless they ask permission first! That is the key point here. I would've gladly shared if I had been asked first, but I wasn't. Of course, people would then ask to borrow stuff, promise to bring it back, then never return it, so I would still have to do the rounds of the office and take my stuff back anyway---not right away, but after a reasonable amount of time. You should NEVER assume that anything sitting on---or in my case, in---anybody else's desk is up for grabs, ffs! OP and colleagues should keep registering complaints about the office kept---maybe even put in a camera to film her in the act---so they can go through all the protocols required for firing a government employee, which usually starts with a verbal warning. I hope the boss noted that verbal warning in her employee file, btw. Check with HR that the paper trail has been started, just to be sure. Believe me, there will be someone else who will be very happy to step into her job---who will also NEVER steal from their coworkers.

Load More Replies...
hermom504 avatar
WonderWoman
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The employee is an entitled wingnut. But why is OP outraged that it is a **BOOMER** who cares about the generation they were born in?? Entitled person is WRONG, period. Stop with the age c**p, it diminishes the significance.

laurawilliams_4 avatar
Lawpanda
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It does makes it seem like he's just as upset about her age as actions. I don't get what made her think anybody would be good with this..

Load More Replies...
stephenwild avatar
Stephen Wild
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This post is highly offensive and ageist. Edit the text and replace 'boomer' with your favourite racial or ethnic slur, repost it, and see how fast it is taken down...

vickitravis avatar
NewWestie
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree. The "boomer" reference/slur is irrelevant to the post, irrelevant and blatent ageism.

Load More Replies...
Load More Comments
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