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30 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done
No one’s immune to an occasional brain freeze; and not the one you get after eating ice cream too fast. We’re talking about the moments you zone out for a second and do something completely without thinking.
Sometimes such moments have no unusual consequences. But they can also result in something as bizarre as leaving your comb in the fridge or throwing the spoon into the trash can while the empty yogurt cup is sent flying towards the sink (likely a been there, done that kind of deal to most of us here).
People on Reddit showed that brain freezes go way further than throwing utensils away. They shared their stories after user ItsaHelen asked the ‘Ask Reddit’ community what’s something weird, funny, or embarrassing that they’ve done on autopilot. Redditors provided lots of examples ranging from regrettable to hilarious, which you will find on the list below.
In order to better understand what happens in our brain during such autopilot moments, Bored Panda has reached out to a professor at the department of psychiatry at McGill University, Maria Natasha Rajah.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I always take my shirt off after my shoes when I get undressed.
So there I was at around 4:30 in the morning headed through security to fly across country for a festival. I'm nowhere close to awake and I'm totally running on autopilot. I'm throwing my stuff on the conveyor, I take my shoes off, and I started to take my shirt off and the (FFS why was she attractive) TSA lady was like "Slow down sir we just met".
I didn't know they came with a sense of humor.
ChickyChicky 2 years ago
Some of them are quite funny. I remember one guy who had a whole rap about what to do with your shoes/backpack/etc. Had everyone smiling.
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Joseph Moore 2 years ago
TSA is like security for airports in the USA, it's a lot of standing in line, taking off shoes, belts, etc. then walking through a metal detector and possibly getting patted down. No one enjoys it
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
Except for the patdown fetishists, they have a whale of a time.
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RELATED:
#2
The pipe underneath my sink was broken so I put a bucket below it to catch the water leaking out. When it was full I poured it back in the sink...and proceeded to flood my kitchen.
Loverboy 2 years ago (edited)
Reminds me of a post I saw a while ago, someone was making a broth and poured the broth down the sink instead of just straining it. Edit: hahaha it's actually a post on this one, just go down
MargyB 2 years ago
I've done that. 12 hour slow cooked tomato soup, strained it straight down the sink!
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Take me to dinner first 2 years ago
My mom once caught every crumb on the table and then proceeded to throw back on the table because she was on the phone
Jane Hower 2 years ago
OMG, so it wasn't just me!?!?!? I did that once - what a foolish thing - hahahaha
#3
Stopped at a stop sign and waited at least a minute and a half for it to turn green.
fair_weather_rose (she/they) 2 years ago
Obviously, otherwise they couldn't have gone
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HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago
I need to know what happened for the sign to turn green after a minute and a half
Holly Stevens 2 years ago
I had a friend in high school get really high and waited for a stop sign to turn green for 4 hours. They were not in a car.
Saint Tim the Godless 2 years ago
The caption for this should be: "things that happen when you smoke weed."
Prof. Maria Natasha Rajah explained that the moment our brain seems to shut down for a sec is actually a lapse in attention and/or absentmindedness at play.
“When we engage in planned motor behaviors we usually need to sustain our attention and also utilize cognitive control and executive functions that help us to prepare and behave in a strategic, organized manner,” she told Bored Panda.
“These functions are associated with the intact functioning of the frontal-thalamic-parietal system. However, when we are tired or distracted our attention can lapse and there is a resulting disorganization in the execution of a planned behavior.”
#4
I used to work for Comcast in their call center. I worked 3PM-12AM so the only thing that was open when I would get off work was McDonalds.
During the holidays they have unlimited overtime. Me being 19 and having no obligations at the time decided to just work non-stop until I fell down at my desk. I worked 3 days straight of OT taking my mandatory breaks every couple of hours and napping in the lunch room here and there.
Finally I decided I'd had enough and started on my way home at around 2AM one morning. I stopped at the McDonalds drivethrough because I wanted something hot to eat. Up until this point I'd subsisted on mints and packs of crackers from a vending machine.
The conversation went something like this: Drivethru lady: Go ahead and order when you're ready Me: Thanks for calling comcast, home of the triple play, My name is lbaile200 how can I assist you today!? *A very long pause*
I ended up sleeping in the parking lot of that McDonalds for about 12 hours in my car. The manager eventually knocked on my window and asked me if I was homeless and if I needed to come in and warm up.
Majungasaurus 2 years ago
That honestly is really sweet! Manager saw someone sleeping in their car and took time out of their day to come knock and ask if they needed to come in and warm up. I wish more people were this cool and chill, the world would be so much cooler.
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T5n 2 years ago
Repeating “phone answering lines” has happened to me so many times. I used to work two jobs and volunteer during the summer and for each job I had a different couple sentences to answer the phone. There was one time I was at job 2 and I automatically answered for volunteering, corrected myself, answered for job 1, and quickly corrected myself again. Needless to say, the customer on the phone was a bit confused about if they had the correct number.
detective miller's hat 2 years ago
I frequently answer my personal cell phone like I answer the phone at work because it's just automatic.
Bobert Robertson 2 years ago
Man I've done this. At work I always answer my phone "Bobert speaking" and one day in ran to the drive thru for coffee and they came on saying "welcome to Tim Hortons can I take your order" and I replied "bobert speaking"
Francine Oglethorpe 2 years ago
my favorite part is the manager asking if they needed to warm up :)
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
At the risk of sounding mean or flippant: in America, how do you know OP is white without it being mentioned?
#5
I was looking all over for my keys and finally thought that I might have left them in the car. I went outside and my car was locked. So I pulled my keys out of my pocket, unlocked the door, opened the door and realized how much of an idiot I am.
Robert T 2 years ago
Or take them off to read something and then try to take them off again.
Load More Replies... Pickles, Pennies, & Ponies 2 years ago
I've done some strange things myself. I have tried using the T.V. remote to pause a movie on my computer.
Amanda Hunter 2 years ago
Or looking for ones glasses while wearing them, or looking for the phone while talking on it!
For those interested in what is responsible for our actions done on autopilot, the professor revealed that it’s mostly habitual behavior evoked by certain stimuli. “When your sustained attentional and cognitive control systems are compromised, you will behave in very bottom-up, perceptually driven and habitual ways; for example, you see the trash so whatever is in your hand (e.g. spoon) gets thrown in,” she explained.
She expanded on what parts of the brain are responsible for the brain freeze-like moments: “'Autopilot' is when you are engaged in highly learned habitual behaviors that are inflexible and stimulus-response mediated. This type of behavior has been linked to decreased involvement of prefrontal and parietal regions and are more related to engagement of the basal ganglia, brainstem and dopamine rich substantia nigra and ventral tegmental area.”
According to Prof. Rajah, the way to avoid such autopilot moments is “maintaining attention and being in the present moment and monitoring ongoing behaviors.”
#6
I kissed my wife's best friend. It was totally innocent and something we laughed about.
I had to take a bus to work everyday at about 4 am. My wife usually drove me to the stop so that I didn't have to leave my car there for 14 hours.
My wife's friend was staying with us while she looked for a job and house in the area. She was getting up early anyways so she decided she would take me and let my wife sleep. When we got to the stop, I just instinctively leaned over and kissed her goodbye. She had a dumbfounded look on her face, and mine instantly turned red as I realized what I'd done. I just said "sorry, it was a habit."
My wife poked fun at me for days for putting the moves on her friend.
Justin Jones 2 years ago
My wife and I owned a restaurant in an old Victorian house and I worked remotely from an office upstairs so I could help when available (and after I got off my "real" job). She would bring me lunch and I would lovingly pat her "rear end" and say "thanks, hun". Her sister started working for my wife - and you can see where this is going. One day my wife is busy so she asked her sister to bring up my lunch. I was busy so I instinctively did my love tap and said "thanks, hun". I heard a gasp and looked up. She was wide eyed - I went wide eyed - and I started apologizing profusely. From then on she announced it was her at the doorway whenever she brought my lunch.
Bobert Robertson 2 years ago
You have a good wife and a great marriage that you both trust each other so much to laugh off that mistake
SassyFrassy 2 years ago
Almost kissed my besties husband the same way. Like we both instinctually went in and realized we were not each others spouses before contact. Friend couldn't stop laughing
#7
As a teenager, I worked at McDonald's. My McDonald's was 24 hours and, during the summer, I worked the overnight shift. My sleep schedule would get all messed up.
My parents woke me up for dinner one evening. I zombie walked to the table and sat down. My dad asked me to say grace. I bow my head and say, "thank you for choosing McDonald's, may I take your order?"
Elspeth Marple 2 years ago
I was working two jobs the main (full time) being on the phones at a radiator call center, the other (part time)being mcdonalds. Last month I thanked a customer for "choosing mcdonalds, how can I help you today?" Instead of asking "year, make, and model?" The customer died laughing. I drank a lot of coffee that day.
Jared Robinson 2 years ago
And the Lord spaketh thusly: *Krrrghrr* uhh yeah I'll have a diet coke and a big mac please.
Ronnie Cutshall 2 years ago
To this day I still say, thank you and have a nice day to everyone. Curse working at fast food.
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
Numerous studies have found that teenagers actually do require more sleep. No wonder teenagers do so many stupid things. They're sleep deprived.
Emily Phillips 2 years ago
Years ago I worked at McDonald's and I asked the person at the drive thru if it was for here or to go
#8
I was talking to my boyfriend while he was eating a sandwich. In mid sentence, he ripped a piece off and threw it at my face. He looked stunned when I didn't open my mouth and catch it (we have a dog)
We both nearly pee'd laughing
Bobert Robertson 2 years ago
This gave me sad memories of my old best friend Duffy, our west highland terrier. We would always drop a bit of cheese or crust while cooking and after he passed away it was still habit and would regularly catch myself dropping little treats to remember again he's not there. Rest easy Duffman!
WhatEvenIsLife 2 years ago
Used to see a guy who used the "psst!" sound to train his dogs. One time we were jokingly "arguing" about something and he went "psst!" at me without thinking. He froze like I was about to come unglued, but I couldn't stop laughing.
Abha Srivastava 2 years ago
I have offered to take close friends to the VET when said friends have been unwell... Of course, I had my canine friends at home then... Have never lived it down.
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
Animal parents. This is right up there with mistaking cat kibbles while watching TV in the dark for a new snack purchased earlier.
#9
I was feeling an encroaching sickness coming upon me one time, so I decided to be proactive and make myself a couple of days' worth of the most baller chicken soup I could manage in advance, so I'd be able to eat well even when I was dying of the lurgy. I chopped the carrots, I sorted the onions, I stewed the chicken bones, and I cooked that m**********r down for eight hours into the most delicious stock you could imagine.
Then I poured it all through a colander into the sink.
Lea Panthera 2 years ago (edited)
Does it count if your half-asleep self forgot the strainer and dumped the pasta down the sink?
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Mark Fuller 2 years ago
Did this with Thai chicken curry. Guests due to arrive in less than twenty minutes and I'm left with a colander of meat and veg, as I watch the sauce go down the plug hole.
Philly Bobcat 2 years ago (edited)
I posted this before, but went to the washing machine with my comforter... tossed comforter on the folding table, opened washer, poured in detergent, febreze, softener, some scented beads, closed the lid, started the washer. Waited about the normal 70 mins for wash to finish, went to washer and saw comforter on the folding table. I spent 70 minutes washing the best smelling AIR you ever had!
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
This is something I've done once. Since then, I set up the colander over a bowl while I'm doing the prep work to remind me of my past idiocy and not to repeat it.
#10
"have a good day sir."
"Love you too."
Awkward shuffle out of Panera.
Sad Quokka 2 years ago
Tbf, this happens a lot. Even at school I've said 'thanks mom' to a teacher
StitchIsCuteAndFluffy 2 years ago
The first time I ever called a teacher “mom” was in seventh grade. I was 12 (or 13). Way too old to accidentally let that slip out.
Load More Replies... Justin Jones 2 years ago
"Enjoy your flight!" "Yes, you too..." "Enjoy your meal!" "Yes, you too..." "Enjoy your trip!" "Yes, you too..." Every.... fr***ing...time
Alexigirl1 2 years ago
I've been speaking to someone from phonebank and ended the call with Love You Bye. MORE THAN ONCE!!! 😔
Son of Philosoraptor 2 years ago
I did this once. Was negotiating a lien settlement and instead of a jerk the other party was a super nice lady and we joked around and had a good time. So when she said OK goodbye it triggered my Husband instincts and I said "love you bye!" and hung up. Then I hear about 10 people bust out laughing because they heard the whole thing. Took sh*t about that for years.
Indigocat 2 years ago
Yeah it's really awkward when your (long since divorced from) ex says it to you when you're on the phone talking about the kiddos. "Ok sounds good so we'll meet you guys there then." "Ok talk to you later, love you." Me: "Nooope." We both had a good laugh about that one. Kicker: he's remarried and so am I and apparently that's what he says to his wife before getting off the phone.
Percabeth Forever 2 years ago
Oh, once I blew a kiss to my bus driver because I thought he was my mom for some reason. Luckily he didn't notice.
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
"No, wait! I think we have something together! Don't go! *sigh* I'm gonna die alone..."
#11
I lived in the same house for 16 years. Moved out. Years later I did some summer work as a construction worker....on MY old house! First day I walked in, mindlessly did what I ALWAYS did when I came in , waltzed Into the kitchen during the family’s breakfast, opened the fridge and peered inside for a long while looking for something to eat.
I came to myself (dude I don’t live here anymore), looked up, and the family was all staring at me from the breakfast table, forks in mid air. At this unknown construction worker making himself right at home. I was so embarrassed I backed out, stammering the whole time and trying to have them understand “I’m so sorry I used to live here”. Wasn’t allowed inside work at that job site for a while
Vasana Phong 2 years ago
Crazy similar story, lived in a house for 15 years, on my way home from work at a certain intersection, left is the new home, right is the old house, halfway through after turning right had to make a uturn
AliJanx 2 years ago
If i wAs the homeowner, and once I knew the story, I'd invite OP in, walk him through the house to get the history and then probably have him and family come over for dinner one night!
detective miller's hat 2 years ago
We moved house when I was 17, and for a few weeks afterwards, I would just automatically drive from work to my old house when my shift ended.
Attila Ángyán 2 years ago
I don't belive this. If its already a construction site where workers freely walk around, how it comes a family is having breakfast on site?
Sunny Day 2 years ago
No work to be done in the kitchen. Sometimes you have no choice but to live in the construction zone
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#12
I had recently been attending a lot of martial arts classes at night. One morning at work I accidentally bowed at my boss when I entered his office. This was in the US, neither of us are of Asian descent, and yes he noticed.
It was awkward.
James016 2 years ago
"Why did you bow when you came into my office?"......."Because it's time to fight"
bread lord 2 years ago
this actually has happened to me before, I do jiu jitsu and it was very awkward lol
Marnie 2 years ago
I trained at a place where you had to stand at the exit of the training area and wait for one of the instructors to look over at you, then you would bow to them. Only when they bowed back, then you could leave. So, I was talking to my new boss in his office and when I went to leave, I stood at the door and bowed at him. Realized what I'd done and just left. I never explained.
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memyselfandI 2 years ago
I’ve been doing martial arts for years and we’re supposed to bow at the door when we enter and exit, and many times I’ve had to stop myself from automatically bowing whenever I walk in somewhere. I get it.
Al Jameson 2 years ago
Honestly I was hoping the pandemic would prompt Americans like me to adopt bowing instead of handshakes. Hasn't worked.
Isaac Harvey 2 years ago
I've been a martial artist for almost 10 years, and I have done this more than a few times at school. Most of them were on days we had tests.
LavenderHippoInAJar 2 years ago
I have a similar story! I do ballet, and at the end of every class we curtsy to our teachers. When I was in 5th grade, I managed to autopilot curtsy to my science teacher at the end of class... He was very confused.
#13
I’m an ex-bus driver and many times on my way home from work, I would go to pull into a bus stop, in my car...
CaptainDinosaur 2 years ago
After a 12 hour shift on a forklift I basically had to relearn how to drive a car to get home everyday.
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
Anyone else ever drive a forklift for a living? After 8 hours of it, you have to sit for a minute in your car until you remember that it drives completely differently from a forklift. Like, you need a minute to close down forklift.app before loading car.app.
Con O Cuinn 2 years ago
Reminds of a guy up in court in Dublin for driving in the bus lane, told the judge he was tired and thought he was in his bus.
#14
Go to the cinema to watch Quantum of Solace. Walk in five minutes late. Furious car chase on screen.
Instinctively try to find my seatbelt.
Take me to dinner first 2 years ago
Omg I can't remember the last time I laughed that much with a BP post, all of these are awesome
Nannychachi 2 years ago
I used to do home care nursing. I would go into the house, pass meds to 4-6 people living there and then on to the next house. I'd drive to about 20 houses a day. Several times, while watching TV after work, I would try to take off my seat belt before getting up from my recliner. Lol
memyselfandI 2 years ago
Me: sits down on any moderately comfy high backed chair. Instinctively tries to find my seatbelt.
#15
I was working the backline at an Arby's WAY back in the day. We used to get our sub buns footlong, but all the subs we sold were 6 inch. I literally reached into the bag, grabbed a sub roll, cut it in half, and then put the knife back in the bag and tried to cut another sandwich with the sub bun. My manager saw it and DIED.
Take me to dinner first 2 years ago
Did they... actually died? Did you use the sub bun to kill them?
Vasana Phong 2 years ago
Crazy, I used to go there way back in the day, when it got franchised it wasn’t “eat fresh”anymore
Dorothy Stovall 2 years ago
I managed an Arby's waaay back in the day (80s) - many years before subs.
#16
"Here you go, if you need anything else, just let me know!", as I graciously put down the plate with food I cooked for the only person in the room. Me.
Chocolate llama 2 years ago
Aww, I know OP is probably a waiter/waitress but this almost sounds like a cute little self-care moment :D
supposedlydead 2 years ago
At least you were the only person to know... Er.. not anymore but still
#17
Washed an apple at the sink. Dried it with a paper towel. Turned and tossed the apple in the trash and stood there holding the towel like an idiot.
Loverboy 2 years ago
I have done this but with chocolate, a few times. I'll stand by the trash, unwrap it, throw the chocolate in the trash.
Thom Serveaux 2 years ago
I once made myself a lovely salad and a cocktail with the only alcohol in the house. Was thinking about how much I was looking forward to my drink when I poured ranch dressing alllllll over it.
BubbleButt 2 years ago
Why yes I rather enjoy the taste of moist paper towels. Such a healthy snack
Julie Zugz 2 years ago
Same. Sometimes I brush my teeth at work, and I have come very close to throwing away my toothbrush instead of the paper towel. Multiple times.
Danish Susanne 2 years ago
I don't wash apples, but I have had to pick out potatoes from my trash, because they were my last.
WhatEvenIsLife 2 years ago
At work I once poured my leftover coffee into the trash can and threw my stir stick into the sink.
The Original Bruno 2 years ago
I don't even peel shrimp over the sink anymore because I know a huge number of shrimp are getting thrown in the trash disposal if I do.
#18
I've been working with children for 7 years now. When I'm drunk/tired/otherwise distracted, I go into teacher mode. If I'm travelling with people, I'll count them on and off public transport, I offer everyone water and snacks if I have them, and even tell complete strangers to "use your walking feet/inside voice" if they're running or shouting.
I didn't even know I was doing it til my boyfriend pointed it out to me.
KJ 2 years ago
I worked with a woman that had a couple of young kids, we were starting a drive to a remote site, she turned to me and asked if I remembered to go to the toilet before we set off. Took her a few seconds before she realised she was talking to a grown man not her kids.
Wysteria_Rose 2 years ago
I did something similar. Was working at a day camp as a counselor for young kids one summer. One evening my husband was irritating me and I took a breath and declared, "we're going to have quiet time for five minutes." My husband thought it was hilarious but went along with it.
Pumpkinpi 2 years ago
I feel this, I've worked with kids for 16 years and have definitely pulled teacher stuff on my dogs. One of my dogs was a very mischievous pup and would get herself into trouble with my ex husband. There were a few times I could see her thinking about doing something stupid and I'd say, "Abby, think about it, make good choices."
detective miller's hat 2 years ago
I worked as a nanny for many many years, and some of these habits just never go away. My friends and family still jokingly call me "Mum" because if you spill something on yourself, you better believe I'll have whipped a wetwipe out of my purse and started cleaning you up before you even know what's happening.
IntrovertedSloth 2 years ago
When I worked with kids and they were being loud I would tell them to yell quietly. Usually, they would stop for a second, then they would start "yelling" silently. Funny to see. LOL
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago (edited)
My sister works with kids and sometimes as a joke she'll put on her teacher voice and say 'Use your words, Katie!'
Savannah Barnett 2 years ago
I used to work with 3-5 year old children and snapped my fingers to get their attention, I found out I was accidentally doing it to my friends and family
InfiniteZeek 2 years ago
I know what use your inside voice means, but what the hell are your walking feet?!
#19
I've worked as a caregiver for adults with mental and physical disabilities for more than a decade now. I'm a caregiver. I do basic cares, which include helping many adult men do their daily activities, things like: shaving, buttoning shirts, making sure belts are on correctly, so on and so forth.
Once on a date, I was a bit buzzed. I fixed my date's shirt, and told him he needed to look in the mirror and see if he wanted a shave.
Warrior Mama 2 years ago
Ha, this reminds me of when I used to be a preschool teacher and started tying my adult friend's shoe mid-conversation while we were out shopping
Yoga Kitty 2 years ago
Shows that they subconsciously felt their date wasn't dressed properly and needed a shave!
#20
Reposting my own comment from a few years ago in a similar thread, because I still think this is my best response to this question.
Came into work to work front of house after several extended nights of profound insomnia. I was holding up ok until a gal walks up with a dog in her arms. I always chat people up about their dogs because A. Dogs are awesome and B. people love to talk about their dogs, and often tip a little more when they feel like they've actually connected with you.
Today though... I didn't have two neurons to rub together to break from the script of "hey what can I get you... here's your total... do you want a receipt?" and so I lean over the counter like a drunk, lock my sleep-starved, unfocused googly eyes on this poor lady, and blurt out-
"your dog. Who is he" and then expectantly stare at her like that was a normal and not at all insane thing that I just kinda vomited at her. She kinda stared at me and clutched her dog a little closer and I think I probably went a little cross-eyed and tried to salvage the conversation by talking more. I don't remember what I said but it was definitely not an improvement on the situation. It may not have even been a coherent sentence.
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago
I could see this happening to me and I don’t like it. Sleep deprivation is a wondrous thing that does curious things to already crazy people
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
It's such fun, back in high school I pulled an all nighter with friends watching movies and playing D&D (we were such rebels). The next day two of us decided we'd go into the Brisbane Ekka (think big show with rides, showbags, animal displays etc). We managed to get there ok, but about the 30 hour mark of being awake we both kinda got processing lag. Bumped into other friends from school but walked about 50 yards before the brain caught up and went "Hey you know them and they just said Hi to you".
Load More Replies... Delta Dawn 2 years ago
I once came home from an overnight shift and upon seeing my husband looking a bit tired, blurted out “you look like c**p!”, and then dissolved into giggles because I’d *meant* to say something nicer like “how are you, you seem a little tired, have you had your coffee yet?”. I still don’t know how “you look like c**p!” happened. Somehow we’re still married.
Easily Excitable Panda 2 years ago
Not only is this adorable, for once I'm delighted to see someone say something other than, "Probably no one will see this..."
cb !!! 2 years ago
I went into school on a similar amount of no sleep and instead of asking my teacher when I could make up a test I missed I said "Test for [my name]. Can I have that one day?". She laughed and said I could schedule it for a day out. Thankfully she let me sleep through that lesson as well.
Sweet Taurus 2 years ago
I don't always make things awkward, but when I do I keep talking to make them even more awkward. Same girl, same.
#21
Undressing to shower, I threw my underwear into the toilet instead of the laundry and flushed it.
Scott Rackley 2 years ago
We have toilets at work you could flush a cat down.
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Stardust she/her 2 years ago
Which is why I don’t wear glasses before showers
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Riley Quinn 2 years ago
From the stories I've heard men tell, I'm surprised this isn't a habit. Don't be surprised if you're calling a plumber sometime in the near future.
Sami-Jo Ross 2 years ago
I have my own silly shower tale. I went to get in and left my underwear on.
#22
I drove home from Phoenix to Prescott, forgetting the fact that I had moved to Flagstaff about a month prior. Got all the way to my old driveway before realizing my error. (Both Prescott and Flagstaff are north of Phoenix, but are about 1.75 hours apart from each other).
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
I recall I few times I drove on autopilot and ended up at a familiar, but incorrect, destination.
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
Yep, did this just last week. When we moved to Springfield, OR we stayed in a wonderful inn called the Pony House for about 3 months while we looked for a house to buy. After grocery shopping I drove right past the turn for my street and pulled up in front of the inn. Luckily, it's not far away, but I still felt really stupid.
#23
Trying to unlock the front door of my house with my car remote.
Edit: Wow, platinum! Thanks so much kind stranger!
Ffaelan Condragh 2 years ago
I saw a TikTok recently where a poor overworked nurse tried to open her home front door by swiping her work badge on her video doorbell. Her realization after the second attempt is all the feels.
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago
I don’t have a car, but I once tried to unlock my front door with a stick
Philly Bobcat 2 years ago
I've done similar going to my Post Office Box. Open it up, retreive mail, close box, lock it then try to use my car fob to "arm the alarm."
Sans Serif 2 years ago
Checking out at the grocery store and my PIN wouldn't work with my debit card. On the fourth failure, realized I was entering my garage door opener code!
Anna Drever 2 years ago
I think it’s happened a few times to hubby and myself when we’ve tried to unlock the car with the garage door remote hanging off the car keys.
#24
I used to work on a farm & we always took our boots off before entering the homestead for meal breaks. One afternoon I absent-mindedly unbuttoned my jeans and started to take them off instead of my boots. I guess my brain decided I was done for the day!
#25
Sometimes in the shower I fill my mouth up with water and just kind of let it pour out. Was brushing my teeth standing in the bathroom one day, fully dressed before work. I just let the toothpaste pour slowly out of my mouth and onto my clothes as if I were in the shower... now every time I brush my teeth my boyfriend warns me not to spit all over myself.
Vasana Phong 2 years ago
Opposite of autopilot, when i woke up and went to bathroom to brush my teeth, I just stood there, for the life of me I couldn’t remember which toothbrush was mine
Gøøse 2 years ago
I've had that before when you're almost thinking too hard about something, so your forget how to do it.
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Snorkeldorf 2 years ago
Did something similar early morning at work. Was taking a sip of coffee when a coworker asked me a question. I turned and answered her but continued to tip the coffee into my mouth. As my mouth was no longer there, it went all over my shirt.
#26
I was tired at the time, but sat down on the toilet thinking that the seat was up and just [urinated] all over the seat, floor and myself.
Not a great thing to do ..or clean up at 3AM
OhnoI’vebeencensored 2 years ago
I put my three-year old on the toilet. "Why aren't you doing a wee?" I asked. "My pants are still up". Oh yeah *facepalm"
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago
If you haven’t done this before I hereby suggest that you aren’t human XD
Load More Replies... JesseyM 2 years ago
I kinda did this...except the seat was up but I forgot to pull my underwear done. So I pretty much sat on the toilet to pee my pants...I can say that this wasn't that long ago and yes I am a full grown adult
Vicki Cunningham 2 years ago
I did that in a public bathroom at a company dinner/casino night. I always hover over public toilets so I didn't feel it that the cover was closed. Problem is my outfit was totally white pants and short blazer. Luckily the lights in the party area were very dim. Could never get that stain out. It was my fav outfit.
Nikole 2 years ago (edited)
White pants and skirts were crafted by Lucifer himself!
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Philly Bobcat 2 years ago (edited)
When both, the lid and the seat are up. Me: 3 AM, dark bathroom, go for a sit down and realize that my a$$ just plopped into the most cold water... come off the commode like a rocket.
3 Trash Pandas in a Trenchcoat 2 years ago
...I've done this. So desperate to go, I forgot to check whether the seat was up
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
This is worse than sitting in the bowl. You're suddenly awake in both cases, but peeing on the seat takes longer to clean up.
#27
I tried putting the milk bottle back in the microwave then got mad when it didn't fit. I only stopped trying cause my brother was there watching and he start laughing.
Loverboy 2 years ago (edited)
I do s**t like this all the time. I've put random items in my fridge and just in cabinets absentmindedly
ObsidianAce_ 2 years ago
Me too, whenever I lose my phone after eating I always check the fridge/pantry first. My mom teases me about it, but it’s been in there more than once!
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Ffaelan Condragh 2 years ago
My refrigerator, microwave, and dishwasher are all in line. I have done all the combos you can imagine.
Jane Hower 2 years ago
Woke up one morning to find the peanut butter jar in the fridge. Wondered WTH. Then found the milk in the cupboard. oh well, guess I was tired night before.
#28
Got in my car to buy groceries and drove the 45 minutes to work.
PS. But the actually embarrassing one is when you are a homecare nurse and you walk into one of your patients home at 9pm expecting them to have milk and bread in stock.
Thom Serveaux 2 years ago
I once fell asleep immediately after work. Woke up, thought I'd slept clear through the night (clock said 8) and rushed out the door. I was 20 minutes into the drive when I notice the sunset. I was 12 hours early.
jdtimid123 2 years ago
I constantly have to tell myself "don't drive to work" when I go anywhere in town to keep myself from hopping on the interstate and driving 20 minutes to the next town over where I work.
#29
Was signing for a parcel on one of those electronic things delivery drivers use, and I wasn't paying any attention and ended up staring at it for a minute and then just drawing a straight line on the screen and handing it back
He was confused
Deborah Rubin 2 years ago
These things hate me, sometimes I can't even get anything to show up.
Load More Replies... Vicki Cunningham 2 years ago
I guess the card companies don't care about the actual signatures on those things. I have a friend who signs "John Wayne" every time.
Take me to dinner first 2 years ago
Just yesterday a lady was blocking my way, looking at me, I was looking at her, she looked like she wanted ask something, I looked as if I was waiting for an answer. What I ended up saying was "do you need anythi--- thankkks" because she jumped and said "SORRY" out of nowhere... it was weird
over it already 2 years ago
I do a line at this point. It's easier and no one is checking signatures anymore.
#30
My wife's friend & her husband were leaving after having dinner at our house. As they're leaving, she says "love you" to my wife. Naturally, I respond "love you t... uuuuuh... yeah, goodnight."
Loverboy 2 years ago (edited)
I find myself saying "Bye, love you." to a lot of people, a lot of which I don't even know.
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
And I bet some of them are going "That was weird" but a similar amount are secretly grinning to themselves happily.
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Isaac Harvey 2 years ago
Does anyone know exactly how to appropriately respond in these situations?
#31
My dog's favorite part of the day is dinner time. I pull out her food, she starts wagging and doing the tippy-taps, get a scoop of food, and instead of going to her bowl I dump the full scoop into the trash can. She then just looked at me with the saddest eyes and I felt terrible, so she got a little bit extra food and some pets.
memyselfandI 2 years ago
If you have Reddit, look up r/tippytaps for more.
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BewilderedBanana 2 years ago
my brain is working at 25% capacity... when i read "extra food and some pets" i thought it meant extra food and maybe a couple of hamsters or something 🤣🤣
#32
Started unbuttoning and unzipping my trousers while I walked towards the toilet, just like I do at home because I'm efficient like that. Except I was at work and was walking through the shared office
Catman (He/Him) 2 years ago
I did this once in school. It was in the middle of class, no one was in the hallway. No one saw, but I am still haunted.
#33
I work with preschoolers and we sing songs to help them wash their hands, and I started singing the same song when I went out with some friends to a bar.
Edit: Thanks for the silver, friend!
Edit 2: The song goes “Wash, wash, wash your hands, wash them everyday. Scrub, scrub, scrub the germs and wash them down the drain,” to the tune of Row Your Boat.
QuirkyKittyGirl 2 years ago
I also taught preschool. This is our hand washing song: Wash, wash, wash your hands, wash your hands all over. Wash, wash, wash your hands, wash your hands all over. Wash them up and wash them down, wash them in between. Wash them up and wash them down, make them nice and clean. (To the tune of “Old Joe Clark”)
Ervin Conn 2 years ago
My wife worked at a family court children's center and sang the ABCs with toddlers to give the the proper amount of time to wash their hands.
Littlemiss 2 years ago
Didn't have any music in my car, no Bluetooth etc. Decided to try singing a catchy tune to myself, apparently the wheels one bus was it, closely followed by twinkle twinkle. I gave up, I've been teaching preschool too long.
#34
My wife says she once ate pizza at a friend's house and, out of habit, threw the crust on the floor for the dog. Those friends didn't have a dog.
Lakota Wolf 2 years ago
That’s not a good habit, for the dog’s sake :( That’s the kind of “treat” that can easily lead to obesity in pets unless the humans only have pizza once in a blue moon.
#35
Woke up. Automatically got out of bed, got dressed, brushed my teeth, packed up my backpack, headed out of my dorm, happened to glance at the clock in the lounge. It was 1:30 am.
ObsidianAce_ 2 years ago
I’ve done that before lol. I was downstairs making breakfast when my mom came down in her bathrobe and said “what are you doing??? It’s two in the morning, go back to sleep.”
QuirkyKittyGirl 2 years ago
Guilty as charged. In high school, my first class started at 7:00 am. After school I usually had some band function or theater practice, and I was rarely home before 8:30-9:00 pm. After getting my homework done, and taking a shower, I was usually down to 4-6 hours of sleep. Once, after a week of short sleep sessions, I woke up, looked at the clock and freaked out. I ran to the kitchen, grabbed a granola bar, and drove the 12 miles to school, only to find the doors locked. The alarm clock, which I read as 5:55, had actually said 2:22. I suppose it was lucky I had enough time to go back home and change … out of my pajamas. ::facepalm::
Tim Douglass 2 years ago
After studying until about 1:00AM for an 8:00AM final I crashed out. Woke up abruptly and looked at my clock, which now read 8:30. Levitated out of bed and into my clothes and dashed out of the dorm. I was halfway across campus before it dawned on me that it was awfully dark for 8:30AM in June. Realized that without my glasses the 3 and the 8 on my clock sure looked a lot alike...
#36
I was lying naked on top of my high school girlfriend and we were smoochin', and I pulled back to ask if it bothered her that I was naked. Instead, I said, "Does it bother you that I'm gay?"
Bryn 2 years ago
according to the reddit: She busted out laughing ridiculously hard. Mood killed. Dead.
Load More Replies... Bryn 2 years ago
according to the reddit: She busted out laughing ridiculously hard. Mood killed. Dead.
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#37
I was getting my car out of the parking lot, heading back home after a loooong day. Shortly after I started driving, I passed by a car that is identical to mine and thought "cool, I found the car" i got out of the car to go to the other car. Halfway through I noticed that wtf I am doing, looked around hoping to God that no one saw me, and then went back on my merry way. Wasn't a proud moment lol
#38
Put my phone under a faucet to fill up my water bottle. I recognized my mistake. And then I did it again
#39
I have 2 kids and am in the habit of pointing out things I think they’ll like (rainbows, the moon, nice dogs...). One day in work I turned to a young male childless colleague and said “Oh look over there, a cat!!” I got a weird look
Catman (He/Him) 2 years ago
Hmm. We missed one with the mind control ray. What? No, I wasn't saying anything.
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kath morgan 2 years ago
I think it’s weird that adults are supposed to pretend not to enjoy seeing a cat. Or a lizard, or a neat rock. Why is she the weird one for not being joyless and incurious?
#40
Was super tired. The route to my therapist and my workplace is the same for the first few miles. Was ten minutes past the split when I realized I needed to go to WORK and not the doc. Turned around. I was home before I realized I still needed to go to WORK...
#41
Oh god. This makes me want to die. My ex-boyfriend and I had this thing where we'd take things out of context and make them mushy. Like I might say "tonight's sunset is really beautiful" and he'd say, "no YOU'RE really beautiful". Or "ouch! This soup is so hot" would be answered with "Ouch! YOU are so hot" Once my coworker sampled one of our coffee creamers, made a face and said, "that's far too sweet." I automatically responded with, "no, YOU'RE far too sweet" imitating his voice and face while still working at my desk. When I looked up after realizing I said it aloud, his eyes were pretty wide.
#42
put my cat in the kitchen drawer
Sardonyx_3 2 years ago
Sometimes they put *themselves* in the kitchen drawer. They like to hide ^^
Load More Replies... The Original Bruno 2 years ago
Can't keep my cat OUT of the kitchen drawer. It's cute, but it can't be hygenic to have cat all over the utensils. So I got one of those child-proofing straps to keep the drawer closed. Cat climbed up to the drawer from around the BACK of where we keep all the pots and pans.
#43
Saying goodbye to my aunt at her husbands funeral, and accidentally said "yeah it was fun", when she said thanks for coming.
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago
I was at my grandpa’s funeral when suddenly my cousin goes ‘I apologize’ and then we all stared at her until she said ‘Ok I’m sorry’ THESE THINGS HAVE A DIFFERENT MEANING I just realized how weird it must’ve sounded
#44
Started to trim my beard and didn't see the guard was off.. Huge swath of beard gone in one swipe. The kids still refer to me during the beardless months as "Creepy Daddy" and I am not allowed to shave it off again.
ObsidianAce_ 2 years ago
Lol my director did this shortly after I met him and didn’t know him too well. I didn’t recognize him until he started talking and he looked a little creepy 😅
Rens 2 years ago
I did this with my hair... During the summer months last year, I gave myself an undercut and I was going to give it a trim and forgot I took the guard off to clean the clippers so I used it without any guard and wondered why my hair was so short... Now of course it doesn't matter because I've lost all my hair due to stress and it's just starting to grow back.
Lily bloom 2 years ago
My boyfriend once shaved his beard and mustache. I thought he looked old and mean. I told my husband (same guy) he better not shave again.
#45
Go to check the mail, grab the keys, oh yeah! there is garbage/recycling that needs to go out, I stop at mailbox, I get mail, throw away the garbage, throw away the mail, throw away my keys... Neighbor asks if I am going to need those, I just kind of stop, look around a bit and say "Well, yeah, probably"
Norm Gilmore 2 years ago
Arms full of stuff. Unlocked the boot of the car and threw everything into the boot. Slammed it shut and realised I'd thrown in the keys as well... (translation boot=trunk for those who use that word)😁
#46
I stepped on a cheeto and apologized to it.
Toxic 2 years ago
I'll apologize for bumping into walls or tripping on a dog toy or something even when I'm not on autopilot
QuirkyKittyGirl 2 years ago
I don’t even need to be on autopilot to do that! (The hilarious life of someone who grew up with manners.)
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#47
Always running to catch the subway after waiting at the crosswalk in front of the station. Casually walking with my friend in the same area yesterday. Started running when the cross sign lit up. He was like wtf?
Chocolate llama 2 years ago
Many years of using public transport has trained me to navigate my way smoothly and quick through larger crowds of people. Once I was traveling with my spouse tho...his reaction to me suddenly being 30 meters in front of him on the escalators was similar, but actually more like "damn, teach me your secrets" :D
RageHivewing 2 years ago
I dont know how or why but im also very good at sliding through crowds.
Load More Replies... #48
Most cringe moment of my adult life probably. I finally got a job as a wine consultant that I had been trying to get for years. It was just a position at our local grocery store but our wine department was the best in town so I was pumped. Doing a great job and getting regulars at my tastings and s**t. One day I get to do a tasting with a fairly expensive bottle of champagne (around 130$). I opened the bottle and it starts to fizz over (wasn't cooled enough yet) and my instant reaction is to start chugging it because that's what you do when that happens with a beer or soda. But this was champagne. Expensive champagne. And I'm chugging it in the middle of the sales floor, while on clock, in a grocery store. Still cringe when I think about it. Edit: holy s**t my inbox. I'll try to get some of these replies out. Also thanks for the silver!
#49
Somewhere after the birth of our second or third kid, I went downstairs to heat up a bottle for our crying bundle of joy. I’m guessing they were still under six months of age, since they were waking up multiple times a night. Anyway, after a few minutes my wife yelled down to see what was taking so long. I stumbled back upstairs with the bottle and handed it to her. I finally woke up once she yelled at me for bringing her the baby’s bottle with a giant chunk of leftover sesame chicken smashed into it...and no baby formula. In my defense, I had heated it up so that it wouldn’t be cold...
#50
Making cookies, I cracked an egg and dumped the contents into the garbage. Thankfully caught myself before putting the shell into the cookies
#51
At the gym, there is an arm curl machine. Typically I do a heavy amount, but that day I was tired and pretty brain dead. As I used the machine, I didn’t realise that there was no weight on it, and I tried curling it with effort as normal. I ended up slamming myself in the head with the bar, and everyone in the gym heard it.. Edit:thanks for the upvotes!!
#52
Was taking my belt off at the TSA and then pulled down my pants, got to my ankles and was like, nope, back up!
#53
I was sitting in math class one day, and I was just humming to myself while the teacher explained something at the board. She went to turn off the projector, which is next to my desk. Then, still standing next to me, she gives me this weird look and asks, "is something wrong?"
I had been so deep in thought that I had lost the tune but kept humming, so I was now just humming a long, low "hmmmmmmmmm" without any change in pitch.
So yeah. That was embarrassing.
Isa's left eye 2 years ago
I need to stop reading these, I'm getting weird looks from my teacher because I keep laughing
#54
I work as a housekeeper and when we knock on a door we yell “housekeeping” and when we throw laundry down the chute we yell “heads” (so those below watch their heads). Anyway, one day I knocked on a door and loudly yelled “heads!” Later that day the back of my mind remembered my mistake and made sure to “correct it” but I over-corrected and stupidly yelled “housekeeping” down the laundry chute.
#55
I just finished getting my hair cut and walked out to get into my car. I got into the back seat and sat there for a minute before realizing that I drove myself there. Worst part was the salon has a glass storefront and I was parked front and centre. Edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger!
Isabel Care 2 years ago
I made a hairdresser cry. I explained what I would be doing after she cut my hair, she said ok, cut my hair and proceeded to style it. I said not to bother, just dry it. She insisted. It was raining outside, so I put on my crash helmet indoors so I didn't get wet. She was in tears. I had told her not to bother with styling after the cut as I rode my motorbike and would be shoving a helmet on as soon as we'd finished. Poor lass. I had another one cry years earlier, when I finally convinced my mum to let me have a Peter Pan cut instead of long hair. Freedom
#56
Took my my newborn kid to the grocery store with my wife. I had a buggy with the baby, she had the buggy with the groceries. I had been rocking the buggy back and forth to sooth the kid since he was getting antsy. My wife and I traded buggies, so she had the baby, I had the groceries. Cue me rocking the buggy with groceries in the cereal aisle.
Kati Oliver 2 years ago
All parents rock.....no matter how old your kids are. I still do it, sway back and forth and my yougest is 20!!!!!
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
I still find it comforting and my daughter is 33. Obviously, I don't pick her up first...lol.
Load More Replies... #57
Just today I went to the grocery store, packed everything into my backpack at self check-out and went home. As soon as I got home I remembered I never actually paid.
EDIT: To all those asking if I went back and paid, I did. As soon as I noticed, I went back, swiped my card in the self check-out and got it over with. Nobody had even noticed. The store is about 300m from my apartment complex.
For clarification (as to how I got away with it): The self check-out works by swiping your personal discount card, then grabbing a scanner that lights up. You scan all your items before putting them into your cart/basket. When you're done, you put the scanner back, then go to one of the self check-out registers, swipe your discount card again to create a bill to pay, then pay it using your debit card.
I did everything except swipe my card and pay, since I usually do all this BEFORE packing everything. Yesterday I was worried if they'd fit so I wanted to find out first, put them all into my backpack and then went my merry way without a second thought.
Paul C. 2 years ago
Guy I used to work with was an ex policeman and just the most honest bloke you could meet. When there was a charity day and the supermarkets were selling things that went straight to the charity (Red nose day or Children in Need, can't remember which) he picked up a bunch of recipe books that had been put together by Jamie Oliver, thinking they were free, as they were lying next to the checkout. He handed them out at work and was horrified when I told him that they were about five pounds each. That Friday night he donated a hundred pounds to absolve himself.
#58
On the railroad, you can get verbal permission to pass a red signal or flag, either from the dispatcher or the employee who placed the red flag. You cannot under any circumstances pass a BLUE light or flag, because that protects employees working on/under/between rolling stock beyond the blue signal.
Driving home in the car late one night, I decided to take a shortcut through the local university. I go around a corner and see a blue light marking a police call station.
Immediate conclusion: “S**t, can’t go that way.”
#59
One morning I was sick and stayed home from work. My wife was being really awesome and served me breakfast. Trying to show her how thankful I was I said "Thanks Mom." We both just stared at each other for a second then burst out laughing.
#60
I made dinner. It was some exotic chicken and rice. Wanted a drink, poured orange juice in my chicken and rice. Tasted great though.
raisin hippo 2 years ago
My mom used to put orange juice on chicken when she was cooking for her family as a kid.
#61
During Halloween, a child came to my door and said "trick-or-treat", and for some f*****g reason I replied with "welcome to [my work]! How can I help you?"
Luna Crow 2 years ago
My evil brain thinks it would be funny to set up something really scary for trick-or-treaters, like dress in scrubs and have a desk and ask if they're there for their dental appointment
Load More Replies... #62
Knocked on an open door for the bathroom
#63
I said “no babes you’re wrong” to my boss at a management meeting two weeks ago because i was daydreaming about my boyfriend. Kill.me.now. Edit: I said this to a comment he made; kind of like hearing and seeing one person, but thinking about another (i hope this makes sense, not sure how to explain)... It didn’t go unnoticed. It was slow and painful. I tried to save it along the lines of “didn’t want you to hit reality all that hard so i let you down nice and slowly”. I then looked at everyone else and basically said “it is really just a question of time until i call you all babes btw”. Awkward to the max. But thank you all!!!
#64
I guess I listen to too many podcasts, because I keep trying to pause work conference calls. I’ve also caught myself trying to increase my husband’s volume by pushing buttons on my phone while we’re in a room together having a conversation.
9 animals and counting 2 years ago
There is a word for why the human race will never fulfill its potential and that word is "meetings."
Kati Oliver 2 years ago
My husband is so loud ~ all the time, I've done this only to decrease his volume...for some reason it doesnt work.
#65
Right after high school, I worked as a pharmacy technician during the week and a waitress on weekends. Sometimes I’d waitress a dinner shift during the week, and the next day, without fail, I’d almost always answer the phone at the pharmacy saying “thank you for calling Pizza Huuuu.... Brown’s Pharmacy”
#66
I used to work at the airport, and got used to yelling the word 'Next please!' a lot. One week, I was working really long shifts, and was pretty tired. I decided to stop at McDonalds on my way home from work and went through the drive through. When I stopped to tell them my order, I yelled 'NEXT PLEASE!' into the speaker.
#67
Ended a phone call with my boss "love you babe". Edit, boss was a she, and to be honest she was pretty damn cute in a slightly goofy way.
#68
I've sent nearly have a dozen emails addressed to 'All' with "see attached" without adding the attachment. Each time I've done that I think I lost a few months of my life due to self dread and loathing.
Yoga Kitty 2 years ago
Some mail programs recognize words like "attached" or "enclosed" and ask you if you wanted to add an attachment before sending the message out.
memyselfandI 2 years ago
Tip: add the attachment first, text next, addresses at some point in there, and subject last. That way if you forget the subject, it’ll give you a little warning message about it.
#70
I was late to my first day of work. Autopilot Me chose to go to my previous employer of 15 years where I had quit. I realized about 5 minutes before getting there and had to drive about 25 min back in the direction I came from. Old job was about 30 min depending on traffic, new job was about 5. Same industry, new coworkers just laughed it off. 15 years of the same commute, same truck, same tools, just another Monday on autopilot.
#71
I was parked in a grocery store lot, looking at my phone when I saw movement in my peripheral vision. I drive a manual, so the anxiety of forgetting the ebrake is constant. I started frantically pressing the foot brake and pulling on the ebrake (which was engaged), it took me a second to realize that it was the car next to me pulling out, not me drifting out of my spot. I looked over and the driver was giving me a pure 'The F**k?' look.
Jennifer_Crowley_Luci 2 years ago
That is SUCH a weird feeling when it happens! You think you're moving and you're not.... very weird feeling. :D
#72
I used to work in a factory, starting at 6am, so I'd have to get out of bed around 5:15 each morning. There was one morning when I got up, had my breakfast and left as usual, drove round the corner to the garage where I would buy my lunch. It seemed a lot quieter than usual, but being half asleep myself, it only half registered. Then I got back in my car and noticed the time... I was awake 3 hours early. FML. I went home and back to bed for a couple of hours
#73
"I have to go potty" - me, to my boss
Isabel Care 2 years ago
"I'm dying for a wee" When the nearest ladies loo is upstairs at the other end of a large building. "OK, we'll continue when you get back" I grabbed hold of the post holding up the mezzanine and went "Weeeeeeee. All better now"
#74
Went to the doctor's office, took off my jumper for a flu shot, realized my t-shirt was on inside out. Got home, took off my t-shirt, realized my bra was inside out. Sigh.
A girl 2 years ago
Restroom at work. Realize I autopiloted getting dressed that morning. I have placed one leg through a leg opening, one leg through the waist opening and am wearing the other leg opening around my waist - I put on underwear wrong and didn't notice for 3 hours. I had a meeting immediately after I made the correction but didn't share why I kept snickering.
#75
I placed my cellphone in the fridge and left the milk out after making myself some cereal.
Isabel Care 2 years ago
My brothers and I are know in our friend groups for knowing where misplaced items will be found. My brother was playing taxi for people going to the airport, they were late due to a mislaid item. He went into the house (having never been there before, friend of his friend), ran upstairs to the correct bedroom, opened the right drawer and handed the guy what he had been unable to find. My friend phoned me to let me know she'd lost her keys, "Have you looked in the fridge?" "Why would I?". She'd put her keys in the fridge whilst getting out the milk for a cup of tea when she got home. Happens a lot, freaky but useful
#76
I was getting out of my car and went to take a sip of my iced coffee. Unfortunately I put the end of my car key in my mouth instead.
Nurichwersonst 2 years ago
From time to time i eat a toast while writing something (pencil to paper) and happen to bite in the pencil... probably one day my teeth will give in... 😬
#77
I had a deadline and I was very sleep deprived. I drank a lot of coffee so I had to visit the loo a lot. One particular pee visit late at night, I went to wash my hands as usual but the tap wouldn't budge. I kept turning it yet no water would come out. So I did what most adults would do when that happens. I started crying and called for someone to check it, saying that I broke the tap in between gasps. Boyfriend walked to the sink and magically fixed the tap. I was turning it the wrong way.
#79
Put the cardboard circle that comes with your frozen pizza into the oven and the actual pizza in the trash can.
#80
I was at the grocery store using the self-checkout. I scanned over $150 of items, bagged everything, took my items and left without paying. Only while unpacking everything at home, I realized what happened . After calling my credit card company to confirm, I repacked everything up, and returned to the grocery store to checkout. Again.
#81
Yesterday I jumped out of my truck thinking it was in park and it drove away from me. I jumped back in and hit the break about 1 foot before crashing into a building.
#82
Put my bluetooth headphones in the freezer to charge. Wanted to go to work with the car, but forgot to turn the engine on. I stood there for 10 minutes trying to figure it out. A neighbour even came to help me and didn't see the problem.
#83
I heard the door bell go the moment I stepped out of the shower. Without thinking I rushed to answer the door forgetting that I was dripping wet and completely naked! The poor delivery guy didn’t know where to look and it took me a moment to realise what situation I was in.
#84
I talk to adults like I talk to my dogs all the time. I use a baby voice towards grown adults. My baby voice is very condescending apparently.
#85
I. Uhm. Peed into the trashcan. In the kitchen. I was sober at the moment, mind you. Just very distracted.
What do you think ?
Mary Bricklin 2 years ago
And another one I'd forgotten about until now. This was after working at Steak n Shake but before I started working at the call center. I lived with my sister, helping her to care for my niece who was a baby at the time. I was super tired and decided I wanted a nice cup of hot chocolate before going to bed. Heated up the water, got myself a mug and opened up the container of hot chocolate and got a scoop of the powder out before I stopped. Something seemed wrong about the hot chocolate powder so I stood at the counter for a few minutes trying to get my brain working again before I realized that what I held was not actually a scoop of hot chocolate powder. Instead I was holding a scoop of baby formula. Took me way too long to figure out that I was not actually trying to make myself a cup of hot baby formula.
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
Not tired but interrupted, when I make pasta I often use some of the cheap, granulated Parmesan that comes in a bottle like a giant salt shaker. Normally I get the pasta ready, take out the Parmesan shake it up a bit to make sure it's not clumping, take the lid off and sprinkle it on the pasta. Except something interrupted me between taking the lid off and pouring it on the pasta. Anyway come back a minute later and give the Parmesan a really good shake. So... Parmesan all over the kitchen floor, on the table, on the top of the fridge, all over me and my dogs and the curtains. The dogs at least were happy.
Dorthe Schou-Nielsen 2 years ago
I have done this with a bottle of cream. Had to wipe down a few of the kitchen walls...
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Rick Seiden 2 years ago
I was in a Men's room, standing at the urinal, facing the wall, of course, and doing my thing. I heard the very distinctive clip-clop of high heels and panic that I might be in the Women's room by mistake. While standing at a urinal. It didn't last much longer than it took you to read that, but it was there for a second.
A girl 2 years ago
Every Perkins restaurant I've been in has the same layout. Except in Ames Iowa. So I go in what should be the ladies room. Observe the small number of stalls. Do my thing, wash my hands after. Brain goes "what a weird sink. Wait, what? It's a bleeping urinal". Was not observed so I got that going for me. I noticed the urinal while using the actual sink to clarify that I didn't wash my hands in a urinal
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Ryon Cupidore 2 years ago
I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I've tried to unlock my house's front door with the car key...or try to start the car with the house key... and every time I keep staring at it and thinking why won't this work?
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
Not a fun autopilot, but I drove to the hospital in excruciating pain one day. Gall Stone attack on the way home from work got so bad about halfway home I just kept driving to the hospital. I remember making the decision to drive to the hospital, but I don't remember any details of the 30ish minute drive to get there. In hindsight I should probably have stopped and called an ambulance and I have no idea how I didn't have an accident.
Aisling Raye 2 years ago
My brain has done the auto "love you" at the end of so many phone conversations that I've given up feeling weird about it. I'm okay if the cable company, or my dentist's office, or any other random person I might end up on a phone call with, gets "love you" as a send off. We all need a little more love in our lives, right?
Antía Cañizo 2 years ago
I am a high-school teacher. Sometimes, after a long day, if I go with my daughter to the playground or to a noisy café with my husband, I absentmindedly hush kids or ask adults to be quiet.
Mary Bricklin 2 years ago
Worked at Steak n Shake for a couple years. While there, I often worked the front counter which involved taking phone calls. After I left that job, I ended up getting a job at a call center. While I was in training, I joked about being worried about taking my first call because I thought I'd answer with what I answered at Steak n Shake. Well, here comes my first day out on the floor and I get my first call. Pick up the phone and answer with 'Thank you for calling Steak n Shake, my name is...' cue me falling silent as I realize exactly what I'm saying.
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
My dad told me to throw my brother’s clothes in the washing machine so I took them and chucked them in the trash. I put them in the washing machine after 5 minutes
Mary Bricklin 2 years ago
And another one I'd forgotten about until now. This was after working at Steak n Shake but before I started working at the call center. I lived with my sister, helping her to care for my niece who was a baby at the time. I was super tired and decided I wanted a nice cup of hot chocolate before going to bed. Heated up the water, got myself a mug and opened up the container of hot chocolate and got a scoop of the powder out before I stopped. Something seemed wrong about the hot chocolate powder so I stood at the counter for a few minutes trying to get my brain working again before I realized that what I held was not actually a scoop of hot chocolate powder. Instead I was holding a scoop of baby formula. Took me way too long to figure out that I was not actually trying to make myself a cup of hot baby formula.
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
Not tired but interrupted, when I make pasta I often use some of the cheap, granulated Parmesan that comes in a bottle like a giant salt shaker. Normally I get the pasta ready, take out the Parmesan shake it up a bit to make sure it's not clumping, take the lid off and sprinkle it on the pasta. Except something interrupted me between taking the lid off and pouring it on the pasta. Anyway come back a minute later and give the Parmesan a really good shake. So... Parmesan all over the kitchen floor, on the table, on the top of the fridge, all over me and my dogs and the curtains. The dogs at least were happy.
Dorthe Schou-Nielsen 2 years ago
I have done this with a bottle of cream. Had to wipe down a few of the kitchen walls...
Load More Replies... Rick Seiden 2 years ago
I was in a Men's room, standing at the urinal, facing the wall, of course, and doing my thing. I heard the very distinctive clip-clop of high heels and panic that I might be in the Women's room by mistake. While standing at a urinal. It didn't last much longer than it took you to read that, but it was there for a second.
A girl 2 years ago
Every Perkins restaurant I've been in has the same layout. Except in Ames Iowa. So I go in what should be the ladies room. Observe the small number of stalls. Do my thing, wash my hands after. Brain goes "what a weird sink. Wait, what? It's a bleeping urinal". Was not observed so I got that going for me. I noticed the urinal while using the actual sink to clarify that I didn't wash my hands in a urinal
Load More Replies... Ryon Cupidore 2 years ago
I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I've tried to unlock my house's front door with the car key...or try to start the car with the house key... and every time I keep staring at it and thinking why won't this work?
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
Not a fun autopilot, but I drove to the hospital in excruciating pain one day. Gall Stone attack on the way home from work got so bad about halfway home I just kept driving to the hospital. I remember making the decision to drive to the hospital, but I don't remember any details of the 30ish minute drive to get there. In hindsight I should probably have stopped and called an ambulance and I have no idea how I didn't have an accident.
Aisling Raye 2 years ago
My brain has done the auto "love you" at the end of so many phone conversations that I've given up feeling weird about it. I'm okay if the cable company, or my dentist's office, or any other random person I might end up on a phone call with, gets "love you" as a send off. We all need a little more love in our lives, right?
Antía Cañizo 2 years ago
I am a high-school teacher. Sometimes, after a long day, if I go with my daughter to the playground or to a noisy café with my husband, I absentmindedly hush kids or ask adults to be quiet.
Mary Bricklin 2 years ago
Worked at Steak n Shake for a couple years. While there, I often worked the front counter which involved taking phone calls. After I left that job, I ended up getting a job at a call center. While I was in training, I joked about being worried about taking my first call because I thought I'd answer with what I answered at Steak n Shake. Well, here comes my first day out on the floor and I get my first call. Pick up the phone and answer with 'Thank you for calling Steak n Shake, my name is...' cue me falling silent as I realize exactly what I'm saying.
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
My dad told me to throw my brother’s clothes in the washing machine so I took them and chucked them in the trash. I put them in the washing machine after 5 minutes
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