30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They&#8217;ve Heard Come Out Of Someone&#8217;s Mouth

The Scout 2 years ago

Reminds of medieval times, when catholic monks defined beavers as fish, so that they could be eaten on Friday - or when they developed extra strong beers, as "liquids do not break the fast" in lent...

25points

Malfar 2 years ago

That always puzzled me. If you want something so much that you are ready to circumvent the laws imposed by your religion that you cling to, then why not just say openly "Ah, screw that" and do what you want? In Russia Muslims eat pork and say "Allah doesn't see behind curtains" or "He sleeps at night so he won't know". This, the medieval beaver fish stuff...why?

8points

Bill Swallow 2 years ago

Guy converts from Judaism to Catholicism and is baptized. Priest does the ceremony, intones "You were born a Jew, you were raised a Jew, you are now a Catholic". Guy still misses eating beef on Friday. Priest comes by one Friday, smells steak. Walks in, sees the guy waving his hands over a platter of sirloin. "You were born a cow, you were raised a cow, you are now a Fish!"

2points

Jerusalem Cat Syndrome 2 years ago

"Religiously-prohibited". I'm not sure how that would work, since pigs still aren't cud-chewers or have cloven hooves.

1point

Ąåřţđęşịɠŋȿ 2 years ago

right?

0points

HungryPanda 2 years ago

Yes people are dumb, but so are the people who decided to call things 'turkey ham' and 'turkey bacon'.

9points

2 years ago

to be fair, turkey bacon is bacon made from turner instead of pork

3points

Vasana Phong 2 years ago

It boggles my mind how some ppl still do not know what comes of that and this

7points

MJ 2 years ago

They should watch a video on how ham is made. And then record themselves watching that video.

3points

Andrew Keir 2 years ago

You mean, where daddy pig loves mummy pig very much .....?

1point

DKH 2 years ago

Apparently the "Pork: The OTHER white meat" ad campaign was a little too effective.

2points

Booker 2 years ago

First pig to fly: Nov 4, 1909 :-)

2points

Nea 2 years ago

A flying pig 🧡

2points

Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 2 years ago

I want to hear the pig's song.

2points

SuperChicken 2 years ago

Here you go - Pink Floyd - Pigs (Three Different Ones) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZM1WQKwpl0

0points

𝕊𝕙𝕪 𝔻𝕣𝕒𝕘𝕠𝕟 (𝕤𝕙𝕖/𝕙𝕖𝕣) 󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 2 years ago

So there’s no difference between human and cow meat?

1point

DetongLhamo 2 years ago

Some cultures view chicken and pork as not being meat. They’re clearly animals- they’re not minerals or plants.

0points

Weedhopper24 , Karolina Grabowska Report

#2

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "My chiropractor can cure autism with his bare hands and some essential oils." Too bad her chiropractor couldn't cure stupid.

Final score:

280points

POST

Mycroft1967 2 years ago

Is it snake oil? Cause I hear that cures everything.

86points

Lakota Wolf (she/her) Premium 2 years ago

Is this my mom in the post? She loves her chiropractor and thinks she can cure everything. I get stress/hormonal migraines and my mom keeps insisting her chiropractor will "cure" them. My mom will also insist that her "ribs" will "get out of alignment" and that chiropractor can "pop them back into place". I try telling her that are ribs are FIXED IN PLACE in our ribcage and if a rib is "out of alignment", that means it's BROKEN, and she'd an ER visit, not a chiropractor appointment.

22points

Marco Richter 2 years ago

It especially cures beeing rich

13points

Doctor Strange 2 years ago

Hey, don't mock snake oil. No one wants an unoiled snake.

7points

Amy S 2 years ago

It cures everything?! Wow, where do I get some?

5points

Dani M 2 years ago

will that be magic oil secreted by a snake or snake preserved in oil and thus magic? asking the real questions

4points

Peppy 2 years ago

Everything except snakes

1point

marcelo D. 2 years ago

just for people to know cause I hate the expression. Snake oil wasn't a scum, it is an actual medicine. The expression comes from people trying to sale fake substances as snake oil. and nowthe phrase is stuck being extremely inaccurate

0points

Zelda McLink 2 years ago

A chiropractic said he could cure my T1 diabetes with 'adjustments'. What, you gonna adjust my pancreas?

13points

Caroline Kimber 2 years ago (edited)

I was told by an old colleague that lemon water will fix my arthritis and my bipolar.....I'll stick to seeing my doctor, thank you.

11points

Ian Webling 2 years ago

If someone managed to "cure" my autism I would be furious.

7points

Heidi Gerloff 2 years ago

If they believe both (1) that autism can be easily cured (and needs curing) and (2) that autism is caused by vaccines (autism is NOT caused by vaccines), why are they so hesitant to vaccinate? Give a shot and go to the chiropractor after. Maybe that should be a new campaign to convince antivaxxers to rethink their stance!

2points

Diemond Star 2 years ago

I had a chiropractor tell me he could cure my epilepsy at my first and last appointment.

2points

Erin Geiger 2 years ago

Anyone that goes to a chiropractor is an idiot

2points

Megan Romero-Herman 2 years ago

Chiropractors can help for physical things.. that doesn’t make them an idiot

-2points

Cj Churchall-McKenzie 2 years ago

as autism is genetic this should be interesting to watch

1point

Deborah B 2 years ago

Does this mean you can vaccinate your kid now?/s

1point

PlatinumThe8-BitCat 2 years ago (edited)

I wish chiropractors could cure stupid, and if they could, I’d wish all idiots would have back problems

1point

highfivesforgod , Tina Witherspoon Report

#3

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth This involves a conversation with a guy I used to work with who was trying to lose weight so he was cutting down on pasta. Him : I've been doing pretty good, haven't had pasta in 2 weeks. Me : That's awesome, what's that you got in your hand there? Him : Mac and Cheese. Me : I thought you said you haven't had pasta in 2 weeks? Him : I haven't, this is Mac and cheese.

Final score:

267points

POST

MJ 2 years ago

Ah the good ol’ Mac n cheese diet. Wonder how it’s working for him.

69points

XenoMurph 2 years ago

I think in the US macaroni counts as a vegetable.

26points

Ba-Na-Na 2 years ago

Could be the kind made from cauliflower…I guess? That’s a stretch though

2points

LizzieBoredom 2 years ago

Named after Mac O'Roni who famously died from a wheat allergy.

0points

Mell 2 years ago

Mac. As in; macaroni..... facepalm

7points

The Doom Song 2 years ago

I hope this person doesn't have kids

2points

ShyWahine 2 years ago (edited)

Sigh, our future is is doomed - facepalm...

2points

Jane Susanna Ennis 6 months ago

He really doesn't know that Macaroni is pasta? What does he think it is, then?

0points

Ąåřţđęşịɠŋȿ 2 years ago

it hurts

0points

Valek Fermiga 2 years ago

Unless he's missed off the word " Big " in front of " Mac " I think he's not succeeding as well as he thinks....

0points

Debra Robinson 2 years ago

Because it's actually a vegetable. Right??? Lol

0points

Seabeast 2 years ago

I had someone try to tell me they never ate meat... just chicken.

0points

Bur* 2 years ago

Handful of Mac and cheese?

0points

#4

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I was microwaving some food, I hit the 1 so it would automatically cook it for a minute. My friend asked “Why did you put it in for a minute? I usually put mine in for 60 seconds”. I had to explain to him that it’s the same thing. We were in high school.

Gambit_Finale , Erik Mclean Report

Final score:

234points

POST

Robert T 2 years ago

Dumb, but I can understand the pack saying 60 seconds, and I can understand that some microwaves will let you enter 60 seconds, or 1 minute. The one that knows it is a minute is being more efficient in the number of buttons they have to press. Not knowing that 1 minute is the same as 60 seconds though....

19points

2 years ago

unless you have my ancient microwave where you have to push 1-0-0 to get one minute

4points

Epona 2 years ago

Not all microwaves go for a minute when you press 1. Some of them only go for 1 second. That doesn’t explain why this guy doesn’t know how to count properly but I wanted to point it out anyway

3points

Scott Anderson 2 years ago

A minute is too short, 60 seconds is the perfect time

1point

ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago

I bet giving him 10 dimes and telling him it is a $1 would blow his mind.

1point

ShyWahine 2 years ago

Did he make it to graduation?

1point

Gustav Gallifrey 2 years ago

I bet he was late for the graduation ceremony.

2points

Mell 2 years ago

Maybe he could insert the 360 seconds. But maybe it would be overcooked then?

1point

Ąåřţđęşịɠŋȿ 2 years ago

it hurts

0points

Seadog 2 years ago

Ah, the good days when you could just punch number and it would start. Now you have to press a TIMED COOK button and then put in the time. Newer is not always better.

0points

Sharon Madsen 2 years ago

Our education system at work.

0points

Physical-Song-3898 , philippe spitalier Report

#5

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I was talking with a man from Pakistan and he asked me what my core beliefs were. I said my core beliefs were rooted in science and he responded with ‘OH SCIENCE, so all you care about is plastic surgery boob jobs.’ He took the entire field of science and labeled it as ‘boob jobs’.

Final score:

232points

POST

Tiramisu 2 years ago

The dumb hurts…

100points

Jerusalem Cat Syndrome 2 years ago

Yes, thus its inclusion on this list.

1point

Mell 2 years ago

Do you get bigger boobs when you get vaccinated, then? Because then I missed some shots, I think. Hahahahahha

21points

WindySwede 2 years ago

I've gotten mine in the upper part of the arm, must be because of placement? /s

9points

Robert T 2 years ago

What a tit.

14points

Nea 2 years ago

I wonder how mentioning the country of origin is important here…

11points

Tiramisu 2 years ago

Because we Pakistanis are internationally recognized for our stupidity. /s

16points

Gardener of Weeden 2 years ago

IMHO it was about the culture the man was raised in - VERY sexist.

14points

Scented Candle 2 years ago

Pakistani culture (south Asian culture in general) tends to focus a lot on religion and many men tend to be misogynistic

11points

MellonCollie 2 years ago

I'm wondering the same thing 🤔

0points

Michael Largey 2 years ago

He sounds like a boob job himself.

8points

Zakaar Bovus 2 years ago

I work with a guy that thinks librarians only deal with checking out books and putting them back.

6points

Impasta (she/they) 2 years ago

What else do they do? - genuine question from a curious panda. Do they also order books and stuff? Or do they do way more?

1point

R Dennis 2 years ago

I would be fascinated and ask how he got there... I need to see the road map.

5points

Seth 2 years ago

I wish there was a "what if" machine to show these people what life would be like today if humanity never used the scientific method.

4points

Andrew Keir 2 years ago

Look in any dictatorship, religious or otherwise. Once 'truth' is defined as 'whatever our Glorious Leader just said', people are going to die in their millions

1point

Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 2 years ago

The exo planets they're discovering would make some serious falsies.

3points

Beachbum 2 years ago

What?

1point

#6

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Was on the bus headed to class in Honolulu, a Southerner got on and asked the driver, "Do y'all take American Dollars?" The driver pointed at the American flag sticker on the window and with extreme exasperation said, "You're in America."

revjor , Ant Rozetsky Report

Final score:

229points

POST

Noname 2 years ago

Years ago, I lived in Hawaii and when I moved back to the mainland, it took me a couple of months to get the plates on my car changed to the state I had moved too. More than once, people would see my Hawaii license plates on my car and ask me how I got the car to the mainland, to which I'd explain that I'd taken the toll bridge, and that it was a b*****h to do because it took 8 hours, there's a toll booth every 30 miles that required exact change, and only 2 rest stops along the way. The looks on their faces was priceless! (of course, I had the car shipped, but that's not a fun story, is it?)

195points

Vasana Phong 2 years ago

Should’ve just said “there’s a backroad that only the locals use to get on the mainland “

36points

BlackestDawn 2 years ago

You're terrible for saying that, I like it.

17points

Bob Brooce 2 years ago

Google directions used to let you map a route from the mainland to Hawaii. It sent you to Seattle and the next step was to "Kayak 2700 miles".

13points

Bobby 2 years ago

Shipping was probably still cheaper than these fake tolls would have been

7points

Ąåřţđęşịɠŋȿ 2 years ago

god love ya

0points

Adam S 2 years ago

I’d say it’s equally stupid to ask if somewhere they thought was outside of the US takes US dollars. I worked in a shop in London and it happened EVERY DAY.

21points

Noname 2 years ago

In some parts of Canada, they accept both American and Canadian currency.

16points

30_Helens_Agree 2 years ago

I mean obviously anyone asking in the UK is enormously stupid, but American dollars are accepted in a lot of places outside the US. Ecuador, Bonaire, Panama, Somalia, El Salvador among others.

11points

Noname 2 years ago

As I live among Brit expats in France who aren't quite as bright as you'd like to believe they should be, pounds are not equivalent to euros!! AND Learn the language - a coque is a bivalve not a euphemism for bollocks. On a beach where I taught our kids to dig for coques (clams), my Brit friend got her panties in a twist when I asked her to hold my coques. (bag of clams) I was surprised she was offended as she's a swinger but didn't know the French term for these clams! And she's lived in France for 20 years!!

1point

I_Imperfect_I 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Robert T 2 years ago

Are Hawaian dollars actually the same as regular US dollars? In the UK, the individual countries can issue their own notes. It is not unusual for shops in England to turn their noses up at Scottish money. It is all still legal tender and can be spent in any part of the UK. It does make checking for counterfeit notes harder as staff need to be trained on all variations.

7points

30_Helens_Agree 2 years ago

All American dollars are the same, no matter which state. :)

14points

Gardener of Weeden 2 years ago

You are talking the difference between separate COUNTRIES and separate states. It would be like London having different currency from Manchester.

8points

Charity Angel 2 years ago

Actually, the only properly legal tender in the UK is the Bank of England notes. The others are just widely accepted. Some Scottish notes were easier to forge than BoE, so there were a lot of counterfeit ones floating around about 30 years or so ago, so shops south of the border stopped taking them. Pain in the bum when your entire family is Scottish, so anything they give is Scottish, but you live in England. Places are much better now though, fortunately, but I still ask on the odd occasion I'm paying in cash with a Scottish note. (Also, I miss the £1 note, it was much lighter and less bulky)

2points

Adam S 2 years ago

But weirdly I think some pound sterling aren’t legal tender in the UK - thinking Isle of Man and maybe channel islands? Though I may be wrong on that

2points

Noname 2 years ago

You're having us on, right?

1point

Andrew Keir 2 years ago

Mr Pedant says - actually, Scottish banknotes aren't even legal tender in Scotland, but everyone takes them 'cos the banks do. Business is business. And, credit/debit cards minimise the need for cash .....

1point

Lotekguy Premium 2 years ago

They're the same currency, but it won't last as long as it would in most of the mainland.

1point

Tiramisu 2 years ago

Bless their heart…

7points

Noname 2 years ago (edited)

Well, Hawaii used to be a nation until the US government overthrew the monarchy and took the islands for itself in 1893.

21points

James016 2 years ago

We only accept Groats here

6points

AR 2 years ago

“No, we only use pineapples here. One bus ticket is 10 pineapples.”

3points

PrettyJoyBird 2 years ago

And Spam

0points

Ralph Watkins 2 years ago

A lot of US service members serving in Okinawa will order car from the PX before coming back to the US mainland. They were shipped to the port of Seattle where the soldier or sailor picked them up. They already had a license plate & registration from Guam. My buddy picked up his car & was stopped multiple times by the state police, local cops, & even the MPs. He had non-American tags on his car.

3points

Mycroft1967 2 years ago

"Nope, only yens. So, unless you have any get off."

3points

cruceskeith X 2 years ago

I lived in New Mexico. My wife and I drove to North Carolina. We were stupefied at how many people asked if we needed Passports to come to the U.S.

2points

Lipstick Hippie 2 years ago

Reminds me of the time hubby and I were planning a vacation to Maui and I made the mistake of wondering out loud what the exchange rate was. It's bee over 20 years and he still brings it up.

2points

#7

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “How long does it take the meat to grow back on a cow when you shave it off?”

Bright_Ad_2848 Report

Final score:

224points

POST

Lord Voldedork 2 years ago (edited)

"Jimmy, it's time to have the talk"

168points

Khavrinen 2 years ago

"Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!" ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zR_4h5A5z_A )

8points

Mell 2 years ago

New idea; people only get to eat meat when they understand where it comes from, what it is and preferably is involved in the preparation of the meat. It'll solve soooo many problems!

27points

N G 2 years ago

If more people understood, there'd be fewer people eating it

13points

Jeff (He/They) 2 years ago

Honestly, that'd be amazing

9points

Malfar 2 years ago

I am a crappy cook, but I would still eat meat. Also, watched the "discouraging" videos from meat farms and the slayhouses. Several minutes of disgust, but no spoiled appetite. As long as there is no whole animals on the table and the meat looks just like some chunky stuff, put some more on my plate.

5points

Caroline Kimber 2 years ago

I'm going to be all Jeremy Clarkson here and have that cow as a pet.

12points

Vasana Phong 2 years ago

Poor lil innocent minds these kids have……oh it’s a grown a*s adult 🤦🏻‍♀️

9points

Andy Williams 2 years ago

That's only donor kebabs

8points

Xenon 2 years ago

Nice......

0points

Anouk T 2 years ago

And this is why sometimes you should let those vegans preach 😅

7points

ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago

and where are the nuggets that are on the chicken?

4points

Andy Cran 2 years ago

underneath 😉👍

2points

Bamboozled 2 years ago

I think the expression from the cow is enough of a response to this gibberish

4points

Moomin from Denmark 2 years ago

well, he could make the experiment on himself to see

4points

SuperChicken 2 years ago

I would love to see that. lol

1point

Bored Retsuko 2 years ago

Aw, if only. :-/

4points

Danger Bunny (She/Her) 2 years ago

Fr 😭😭😭

1point

#8

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth *a new hire at the cotton mill that had dropped out of school to go to work* "How long do we get off for spring break?"

TrailerParkPrepper , Wendy Wei Report

Final score:

213points

POST

ShyWahine 2 years ago

Welcome to adulthood, kiddo

148points

Seadog 2 years ago

I can't tell you how many "young" people I've worked with that actually think they should have their birthday off and other such days.

3points

Nina 2 years ago

Oh my sweet summer child..

8points

AngelWingsYT 2 years ago

Speaking of wait til they learn the lack of summer vacation

14points

Alecto76 2 years ago

My college roommate lost her retail job when she went back home for Christmas break. She didn't notify them or ask for any time off. She was confused when she got fired since she explained it was Christmas break.

5points

Id row 2 years ago

Oof. That person is in for some really unpleasant life surprises.

3points

CaptainFluffy 2 years ago

Is spring break Easter (I’m in the uk so don’t know the ins and outs of spring break)? If so the question is valid as we get 2 days off.

3points

Pedantic Panda 2 years ago

Unless you work in a school, 16 glorious days.

1point

Andy Cran 2 years ago

welcome to reality, please fasten your seatbelt.... buckle up buttercup

1point

Ali H M Salehuddin 2 years ago

Can we do a petition so companies provide semester breaks too?

1point

tuzdayschild 2 years ago

That's a great question. Keep asking kid.

1point

Erick L. 2 years ago

When you go back to school.

1point

AMaureen Dance 1 year ago

"Go back to school"

0points

herpaderp_maplesyrup , david ortega Report

#9

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Someone in our group lost a flip flop in a river, we watched it float down stream. Another person in our group said to be patient because it’ll eventually do a full loop and come back.

Final score:

210points

POST

Bored Retsuko 2 years ago

Ah yes, the famous boomerang river.

93points

Jerusalem Cat Syndrome 2 years ago

Um, no. I think the OP meant that the person thought the river ran on a closed circle. That's the difference between a swing ride and a ferris wheel.

1point

Aidan Pite 2 years ago

Someone has spent far too much time in waterparks and far too little time in science classes.

26points

Richienotsorich 2 years ago

Or geography maybe?!

2points

Birdy 2 years ago

'The water cycle' will evaporate the flip flop, condensation will bring the flip flop down in a large raindrop onto a mountain. This small river will feed a larger river that you will be standing next to for collection of the missing rubber ware. The process could take a couple of thousands years though...but your flip flop would still be around.

20points

WindySwede 2 years ago

"Be patience for once!"

7points

Nina 2 years ago

Plot twist: it was a lazy river in an amusement park

9points

I’ve Seen Things 2 years ago

“I have so been in nature, Wet and Wild Waterpark is nature”

9points

Lost Penny 2 years ago

If you wait by the river long enough, the flip-flops of your enemies will float by.

7points

Ana Ferreira 2 years ago (edited)

Someone heard of the water cycle, and got entirely the wrong idea.

3points

Id row 2 years ago

This isn't the lazy river at the water park, Linda.

2points

Wheeskers 2 years ago

Or, how long is this three hour trip?

2points

SuperChicken 2 years ago

Unless, a salmon drags it to the top. That was painful. Showing myself out...

1point

#10

"Salmonella is only caused by salmon. You're a chef you should know that"

JoyIsDumb Report

Final score:

207points

POST

Holy Shimmering Sheeps541t 2 years ago

Campylobacter is caused by tents. Listeria is caused by people making lists or leaning sideways.Norovirus is caused by people in boats not rowing.

177points

Sam Juan 2 years ago

You...you just made a list!! 😷

32points

Benita Valdez 2 years ago

I really hate this misconception. Campylobacter is caused by camping in general and not just tents. It doesn't care whether it's a tent, camper or just a sleeping bag under the stars; if you camp at all then you run the risk of getting it. Please do your research better so you don't mislead people

27points

RamiRudolph 2 years ago

Corona Virus is caused by drinking too much beer.

22points

Michael Largey 2 years ago

And cancer is caused by astrology.

19points

Chewie Baron Premium 2 years ago

Chlamydia is caught from eating clams.

13points

Id row 2 years ago

Chicken pox turns people into chickens.

10points

Steve 2 years ago

I thought Listeria was caused by using Listerine.

10points

Bobby 2 years ago

The norovirus one is an extra bad pun since that's sometimes called the cruise ship disease

8points

Paul Brown 2 years ago

Phlebitis is caused by flea bites. I had a girlfriend who actually believed this.

2points

Philly Bobcat Premium 2 years ago

I thought listeria was cause by gargling with too much listerine?? TIL! LOL!

1point

Seadog 2 years ago

Listeria - a condition caused by the use of Listerine.

0points

Deep One 2 years ago (edited)

Listeria being caused by people leaning sideways or in any direction is an old wives' tale. It started because people lean back when using Listerine - the REAL cause of Listeria!

0points

Bryn Premium 2 years ago

Campylobacter. Yup, it's when you get angry when you can't find a good spot for your tent.

0points

Lu 2 years ago

Noro - that’s good my man.

0points

XenoMurph 2 years ago

So only androids can give you BOTulism?

13points

Ueda 2 years ago

And you can only get helicobacter pylori by eating helicopters.

9points

Skip Marooch 2 years ago

I once had to much limes. Bam. Lyme disease.

7points

Ralph Watkins 2 years ago

I was on a bus trip & a college age girl in front of me was making frequent trips to the restroom on the bus. Her tummy was so loud. I asked what she had last night to eat. Raw oysters. Tons of them. Then you have food poisoning. Oh no, that's impossible. I had food poisoning once before. You can only get it once in your life. I had to stop myself from laughing. I told her friends to take her to the nearest ER when we got off the bus in NYC. 8 hours later, they did not get the bus trip back home.

6points

Der Kommissar 2 years ago

trichinosis is caused by turning too many trichs

5points

Jared Robinson 2 years ago

"Get the f**k out of my kitchen"

2points

glowworm2 2 years ago

Ah yes, salmonella, tiny salmons.

2points

Booker 2 years ago

Named after Daniel Salmon, a veterinary surgeon.

1point

Ąåřţđęşịɠŋȿ 2 years ago

holy c**p

0points

Content_Pool_1391 , Ömürden Cengiz Report

#11

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth You can't get pregnant if you are on top

Final score:

201points

POST

User# 6 2 years ago

That does work, if you're male.

207points

Monday 2 years ago

True! I've never heard of a story where a guy on top got pregnant!

54points

Rachel Robertson 2 years ago

Buh Dum Tch(or whatever that drum nose is)

7points

Rain Anderson 2 years ago

Wow my mind is blown away 🤯

2points

No Clue 2 years ago

👏

0points

Tania Minhas 2 years ago

To be fair ... he/she did not say on top of what. As long as you are not on top of a d***k everything safe.

26points

Skip62 2 years ago

Don't forget to jump up and down afterwards. I've heard that works too so you can be doubly safe.

4points

Nicole Weymann 2 years ago

If one stays on top *of the blanket* and the other one under it that might work

4points

Jon Steensen 1 year ago

...unless there is a hole in the blanket

0points

HungryPanda 2 years ago

On top of your contraception game.

4points

Steve 2 years ago

…and a dude

4points

Seabeast 2 years ago

When I was young there were kids at school who thought that pregnancy could be prevented by having sex standing up. There were a lot of shotgun weddings in my neighbourhood.

3points

Seth 2 years ago

To be fair, fertility coaches recommend against cowgirl if a couple is struggling to conceive, but there's obviously a massive difference between "slightly less likely to get pregnant" and "can't get pregnant"

3points

Divado 2 years ago

Gravity, your contraceptive friend.

2points

Stefan 2 years ago

Well now, you see, that depends n which entrance you are using.

2points

#12

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I dated a girl who thought sea horses were the size of regular horses. She was so disappointed at the aquarium

hdycta-weddingcake , naomi tamar Report

Final score:

198points

POST

Moomin from Denmark 2 years ago

To be honest: when you see pictures of seahorses, there's never a banana for scale

283points

Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 2 years ago

This is true.

15points

Dani M 2 years ago

gross oversight that.

7points

SparkDragon 2 years ago

Would a sea cucumber do instead?

3points

Tuesday's child 2 years ago

What does Banana for scale mean?

2points

Bob Brooce 2 years ago

Great. Now I need to bring a banana on my next dive trip.

2points

Caroline Kimber 2 years ago

I'm glad they're not the size of regular horses, can you imagine the nightmares you'd have if you came across one of those?!

11points

Malfar 2 years ago

Umm...no because they are cute.

9points

PeepPeep the duck 2 years ago

Well she obviously watched the stormy episode of the little mermaid way too many times

9points

ShyWahine 2 years ago

Pssst, does she know that for seahorses - the males gets pregnant and gives birth?

7points

Cara G 2 years ago

Have you ever SEEN it though? They literally shoot the babies out through a hole while performing a series of aquatic crunches.

4points

Nay Wilson Premium 2 years ago

How can you be disappointed by seahorses? They’re adorable

6points

Tania Minhas 2 years ago

I need a sea-banana for scale

5points

Cara G 2 years ago

Not available. Can I interest you in a sea cucumber?

6points

Tee Rat 2 years ago

Trying to saddle them would be a beach.

4points

Upstaged75 2 years ago

In the Percy Jackson series they ride Hippocampus (giant sea horses, not the part of your brain) in the ocean. :) It would be SO awesome if they were real!! I once went swimming in a pond with a horse and it was incredible. *The horse was swimming and I was sitting on him, so yes technically it was only the horse who was swimming. It's an incredible feeling!

3points

deejak 2 years ago

I blame Disney et al.

1point

Sarah Scotson 2 years ago

How cool would it be if they were

1point

#13

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "I'm allergic to oxygen." I asked if they meant to say 'oxycodone' and they insisted, no, they were allergic to oxygen.

dragonfeet1 , Eli DeFaria Report

Final score:

194points

POST

JoyfulZebra 2 years ago

They seem to be allergic to intelligence as well.

140points

I just work here 2 years ago

No, clearly allergic to oxygen, it's killing all their brain cells...

13points

Susan Bosse 2 years ago

When I was 17, I had to have last surgery. In the pre-op visit, dr asked if I was allergic to any meds. My mom replied "She's allergic to cocaine." Dr and I both were like "WTF?" Then he asked "Do you mean codeine?" She said "OMG!! Yes!" I was absolutely mortified at the time but, since 1986, long running joke is that I'm allergic to cocaine. Lmao

18points

glowworm2 2 years ago

That one is understandible. There are too many medications with complex pronounciations and spellings.

5points

TotallyNOTaFox 2 years ago

That sounds way worse than my addiction to oxygen!

10points

Robert T 2 years ago

That's probably what killed their braincells. ;-)

7points

ShyWahine 2 years ago

Gasp - wonder what her reaction is when exposed to oxygen....

5points

Jon Steensen 1 year ago

Probably coughing, throat irritation, chest pain, trouble breathing, muscle twitching, Dizziness, blured vision, nausea, unease, confusion and perhaps seizues or death... as these are the normal symptoms of oxygen poisioning.

0points

ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago

here's a bag and you may put it over your head.

3points

Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 2 years ago

An oxygen allergy could be a serious problem on this planet. Luckily, most planets don't have oxygen in their atmosphere.

3points

David A Paterson 2 years ago

The planet Mercury does.

0points

Id row 2 years ago

Reminds me of the woman who claimed to be allergic to 'crunchy'. Crispy was fine though.

2points

Ozymandias73 2 years ago

Stop taking it from the rest of us then. Apparently their brain has been deprived far too long.

1point

Veronica Jean 2 years ago

They are. It gave them the dumb.

1point

#14

When I was working a customer service job a lady was verifying her serial number and said Z as in xylophone. My brain literally shut off for about 10 seconds.

TerrTheSilent Report

Final score:

193points

POST

Anne Jones 2 years ago

N for knowledge.

142points

WindySwede 2 years ago

T for Pterodactylus

34points

Angrypineapple 2 years ago

S for tsunami

21points

PowellSkier 2 years ago

or knight...

7points

Steve 2 years ago

That's why the Nebraska football team has the N on their helmets.

5points

Jon Steensen 1 year ago

Hey that is not the usual N-word (that is a joke)

0points

PrettyJoyBird 2 years ago

C for Smart

0points

Mycroft1967 2 years ago

Was working retail in electronics department. Lady asked if we had a remote for the V1210. I said we universal remotes that work on nearly everything but didn't know about that model. I tried looking it up. Nope no V1210 models. I asked her what her brand of TV was? She said "I don't know but it says V1210 on the front." Then it dawned on me. Do you mean VIZIO?

9points

Me myself and I 2 years ago

Q for cucumber

7points

Kazza 2 years ago

Beat me to it!

2points

Spencer's slave 2 years ago (edited)

Z in English is pronounced as "zed" not "zee". Only the USA says "zee".

7points

HungryPanda 2 years ago

Isn't H different as well? "haitch" vs "aitch" (US)

3points

Duckie Measles 2 years ago

Oh man, that throws off the rhyming scheme of the alphabet song.

0points

AR 2 years ago

And we speak a dialect of English. 🤷🏼‍♀️

0points

Holy Shimmering Sheeps541t 2 years ago

E for ignorant.

6points

Carlos Bergade 2 years ago

My ID number has an X in it. I always say X as in porn movie

3points

RamiRudolph 2 years ago

Not X as in "Christmas"?

5points

Lotekguy Premium 2 years ago

I like using p as in pneumonia.

2points

geezeronthehill 2 years ago

English isn't a real language, we just made it up as we went along.

2points

Snazzy Smurf 2 years ago

F for Phonics.

1point

Jared Robinson 2 years ago

S as in psycho

1point

#15

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “Well she never got pregnant before” after his gf got pregnant and after asking my friend why didn’t he use protection.

tuotone75 , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

184points

POST

ShyWahine 2 years ago

Said the soon-to-be-parents....

73points

WindySwede 2 years ago

sexual education is so essential...!

19points

Nea 2 years ago

If only people were less obsessed with ‘are you trying for a child’ and more with ‘did you/we have the talk with our child’…

9points

Cricketgeeklol 2 years ago (edited)

Yes democracy! 👩🏼‍🎤 Let everyone have a vote. This is the first step to your child not being used when 'trying for a child' if they don't know how then they can't prevent,!

0points

ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago

That poor child

6points

Andy Williams 2 years ago

Evolution in humans is at a dead end

5points

María Hermida 2 years ago

That seems to be a surprisingly widespread idea. I've heard so many people who are about to doing something stupid say "I've done it a hundred times and nothing happened". Great. Until they hit the jackpot and have a dreadful accident. Though luck!

4points

Alan Gale 2 years ago

She should have been on top, Duh!!!

2points

HungryPanda 2 years ago

The the world's sake, I hope they are terrified of ever doing it again.

1point

Tara L. 1 year ago

Sex Ed really needs to be taught in high school

0points

Ąåřţđęşịɠŋȿ 2 years ago

hopefully the baby will be more intelligent. Doubtful though. "Stupid is as stupid does" to quote Mr Gump

0points

DrBronxx 2 years ago

Solid logic.

0points

#16

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "Its forbidden to smoke indoors now, but immigrants are allowed to live!" She was dead serious. I am hardly ever speechless, but that was one of these rare occasions.

Moedrynk , Kristaps Solims Report

Final score:

176points

POST

Em 2 years ago

That's not stupid, that's hateful.

201points

Bored Retsuko 2 years ago

Hateful and delusional.

42points

Surenu 2 years ago

There's a considerable overlap between the two.

18points

Jesse Setliffe 2 years ago

Well hate is a form of stupid.

15points

Lotekguy Premium 2 years ago

There's a lot of overlap between the two on a Venn Diagram.

4points

Rosecrucian Roeth 2 years ago

No, that's not human:(

4points

I just work here 2 years ago

And non sensical..

2points

gerard julien 2 years ago

let's call a spade a spade : it's racist !

1point

Kitsune 3 months ago

hate is almost always stupid

0points

Tom Hutcherson 8 months ago

And pure maga.

0points

Anime dude101 2 years ago

(not you Em,) YOU WANT TO FIGHT MOTHERFXCKER?? 53ant0-64d...0ed9f7.jpg

0points

BigCityLady 2 years ago

It’s racist, not hateful. There’s a difference.

0points

Jerusalem Cat Syndrome 2 years ago

That's _not only_ stupid, that's hateful.

0points

Benoît Rainville 2 years ago

Also values scale all-out of whack.

0points

Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 2 years ago

I cannot understand why those two things would be juxtaposed in her otherwise empty head.

25points

Michael Largey 2 years ago

I have to assume she was speaking as a pure blooded Apache or Sioux.

17points

Snorkeldorf 2 years ago

Woman I used to work with......"My husband says homeless people choose to be homeless because they don't want to pay taxes."

14points

Michael Largey 2 years ago

Just like some people choose to be clueless because they don't want to pay attention.

8points

Winnie the Moo 2 years ago

Does anyone know if you breathe the same air she is breathing if you become hateful as well? Asking for a friend.

11points

Panda Boi 2 years ago

Today on Guess who voted Trump.

10points

JoyfulZebra 2 years ago

What?

8points

ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago

what the ... that dumb statement would derail me for a while

6points

Daggie_style 2 years ago

Damn...wait until she hears about how the United States came to be. I have to assume that due to the blind hatred she was from the US.

4points

Appalachian Panda 2 years ago

Do you really think the United States is the only place where people with anti-immigrant sentiments exist?

1point

Brainmas 2 years ago

That's an interesting take. Not sure how the 2 are even remotely related.

3points

#17

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth A manager at my old job thought Alaska was an island next to Hawaii, because that's what it looks like on a map. Also asked me one day if you could get an std from breathing the same air as someone with an std. There were more but I can't remember the rest. And this person was in charge...

DaveBelmont , Pixabay Report

Final score:

176points

POST

Tim Fawcett 2 years ago

Have you never heard the expression "promoted out of harm's way"

104points

Bookworm Premium 2 years ago

That explains one of my managers, who didn't remember how glue worked until I explained that she had to wait for it to dry before it would hold anything.

5points

Ąåřţđęşịɠŋȿ 2 years ago

sounds like a military saying

1point

Jennifer Jones 2 years ago

No, I hadn't ever heard that expression but it's terrifying to now know this. lol

1point

Tom Hutcherson 8 months ago

No, but I'm using it from now on..

0points

Michael Largey 2 years ago

Whether you can get an STD from breathing the same air as someone else depends on how heavy the breathing was.

10points

Mell 2 years ago

Yes, because when having sex you just sit across from each other, look intensifely in your eyes and just breathe. Maybe Sting would, actually.

9points

Snorkeldorf 2 years ago

Worked with an executive assistant for a big company. We had to spend part of our time in our office in one city, then a couple of days in our office in another city about an hour away. We had large phone units on each of our desks. Before her first trip to the other office she asked our IT people how she was going to get her phone calls. They told her to just transfer her phone to the other office. A couple of days later she arrived after me and later complained that it was so hard lugging everything back and forth. Then, she said, I had to unplug the phone at my desk and plug everything back in. I don't want to do this every time! She thought "transfer her phone" meant take the whole blessed phone with her. Poor thing.

6points

ShyWahine 2 years ago

Must be that same high schooler in the the earlier post who didn't know 60 seconds was the same as 1 minute...

5points

Living Example 2 years ago

Sounds like the Peter Principle was used. A lot of managers get their promotions that way.

3points

Steve 2 years ago

A classmate of mine in Alaska also thought Alaska was an island, but that was just because he was stupid.

3points

Valerie G. 2 years ago

Some people who live in Alaska actually have maps in their home of the USA and it's Alaska, with the continental U.S. and Hawaii in little squares down in the corner.

2points

Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago

Std= SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED disease mate. That annoyed me

2points

Ken Beattie 2 years ago

Just a heads up, some STDs can be transmitted by other means. Besides things like blood transfer, sharing needles, there is passing to your child by breast feeding and some can be transferred by saliva so kissing, sharing food, sharing towels. They can't all be passed those ways, but some can so be careful.

2points

Crybabyartist 2 years ago

I've had this job before

1point

#18

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “You have your facts and I’ll have my facts”

anon12xyz , Peter Miranda Report

Final score:

173points

POST

JoyfulZebra 2 years ago

They have alternative facts

93points

Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 2 years ago

Kellyanne Conway coined that phrase, I believe, when Trump claimed he had the MOST people EVER at his inauguration. Despite photos/video PROVING that claim false. *sigh*

23points

Juan Something(downvotevictim) 2 years ago

Alternative Facts sounds like the name of a grunge band that only makes songs about historical characters and events.

11points

Brandi VanSteenwyk 2 years ago

Irregardless.... (Pun Intended)

4points

Ąåřţđęşịɠŋȿ 2 years ago

They do. And they are PROUD to exclaim it so. And they vote Republican.

1point

Andrew Keir 2 years ago

Trouble is, calling them 'alternative' facts , or 'your' facts, strongly suggests that both sides are of equal validity. Bad mistake.

0points

𝐆𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐦-𝐏𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚 2 years ago (edited)

The trend of people believing that facts are something subjective is starting to really p**s me off.

3points

VonBlade 2 years ago

Although if your facts are about the number of people who've been on Love Island, and mine are about the 1979 French Grand Prix, we're allowed to have different facts.

3points

Westy 2 years ago

That's American politics in a nutshell (on both sides of the aisle). Certain facts are cherry-picked to promote a narrative/agenda while other relevant facts are conveniently ignored. Happens all the time.

2points

Psycho Princess 2 years ago

Ah yes of course, their facts are North American and yours are Canadian. (How do people like this exist)

2points

Philly Bobcat Premium 2 years ago

Said the tRumper spouting fake news...

2points

Elouise Kivineva 2 years ago

Yes, since 2016 this is a very familiar idea.

2points

Gregg Bender 2 years ago

No, I have verifiable facts. You have lies.

1point

Andrew Keir 2 years ago

I must be right because I'm shouting you down

0points

Lotekguy Premium 2 years ago

"You can also have all the distance from me that time and space will allow".

1point

Id row 2 years ago

Facts, schmacts. You can use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true.

1point

EmotionalMycologist9 , Yiran Yang Report

#19

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth These fireworks are wet. I'm gonna dry them off in the microwave.

Final score:

170points

POST

Jihana 2 years ago

I wanna hear what happened next

208points

InfamousBerry34 2 years ago

Bang

56points

Greg Le Goire 2 years ago

They wrote a constitution that guarantees they can carry guns everywhere as a right.;)

21points

Michael Largey 2 years ago

I believe everyone in that hemisphere heard what happened next.

20points

Isa Wan 2 years ago

Kaboom! happened next XD

11points

Šimon Špaček 2 years ago

If you listen carefully, you might hear it.

10points

eMpTy 2 years ago

You will, it will be LOUD

6points

Brandi VanSteenwyk 2 years ago

I have the transcript: BOOOOM!!!!!

5points

Avery Starr (They/Them) 2 years ago

KAAAAAAABOOOOOM!

4points

Joe Reaves 2 years ago

All their colleagues shouting NOOOO! at the same time probably.

3points

Clown fish 2 years ago

🔥🎆🚒

2points

Gregg Bender 2 years ago

They heard what happened for miles.

1point

WindySwede 2 years ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnhtqwYzvYM

1point

Lara Verne 2 years ago

Boom

0points

Doodles1983 2 years ago

You possibly did…!

0points

Moë 2 years ago

I’m pretty sure it was BOOM

0points

TotallyNOTaFox 2 years ago

Put an explosive material in a metal container and set it off - Congratulation, you built yourself a frag grenade!

15points

Tracey Stammers 2 years ago

Darwinism at its sharpest!

12points

Anne Jones 2 years ago

May they rest in peace..😢

8points

PeepPeep the duck 2 years ago

Beavis and butthead moments

7points

Id row 2 years ago

Reminds me of my neighbor who was welding his gas tank. While it was still full attached to the car with gas in it. My husband ran over there quick and stopped him. Sometimes I think he should have let Darwin take the wheel.

6points

KittyMommy 2 years ago

I'd agree, but I'd be afraid the subsequent fire and possible explosion would damage my home and/or garage

0points

tuzdayschild 2 years ago

Ok, you do that. I'm just going to run out for some milk.

6points

Mell 2 years ago

Has to be said by a 5 year old. Please tell me it was a 5 year old.

5points

Ima Manimal 2 years ago

I wanna watch. Wait, let me pop some popcorn first.

3points

Liu Woods 2 years ago

Better hurry, there won’t be a microwave much longer!

2points

Jane Cortez 2 years ago

💥 That’s one way to add a spark to your life

2points

#20

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “I don’t have a girlfriend because females are too intimidated because of my career.” He was an assistant manager at Outback Steakhouse.

DauxRaeMeMeMe , Max Nayman Report

Final score:

164points

POST

Harley 2 years ago (edited)

Maybe females are actually inviting him out on dates but since he works at outback it’s all just a giant missed steak

19points

Mari M 2 years ago

😂😂😂

1point

Tiramisu 2 years ago

He prefers to manage meat instead.

8points

Avery Starr (They/Them) 2 years ago

The fact that he used the word "females" tells us all everything we need to know 🤮

7points

Owen Premium 2 years ago

Yeah... that's why

7points

Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 2 years ago

I feel so intimidated. Really! I do!

6points

Lotekguy Premium 2 years ago

He probably affects an Australian accent at work and thinks it sounds way more authentic than it does.

2points

Snazzy Smurf 2 years ago (edited)

Yep! That career achievement is a threat to women everywhere. I bet this guy has a lead tongue that is as smooth as a cheese grater. Calling women or ladies "females", but yep his career is why he is single.

2points

Veronica Jean 2 years ago

Ahh...to have the same level of optimistic delusion...

2points

ShyWahine 2 years ago

Dude is delusional...

2points

Sam Cook 2 years ago

High steaks. High on stupidity, that is.

1point

#21

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth “What year did this happen?” We were watching the Lord of the Rings

OverTheCandlestik Report

Final score:

164points

POST

cugel. 2 years ago

TA 3019

79points

Peter Brecht 2 years ago (edited)

this particular scene was actually TA 3001 :p

13points

Agfox 2 years ago

Upvote - especially if your ID is a Jack Vance reference

1point

Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 2 years ago

I'm impressed.

0points

Ge Po Premium 2 years ago

Depends on whether you use the Hobbit calendar of that of the Ents.

8points

The Mediterranean Fruit 2 years ago

Maybe they meant to ask what year it was made?

5points

Bryn Premium 2 years ago

That's what I was thinking.

0points

Alecto76 2 years ago

I saw this with my dad, who was unfamiliar with the story and did really get fantasy stuff. About a half hour into the movie he leans over and whispers "is this Ireland?" When I said it was not, he asked "then what the f**k is with all these leprechauns." I miss taking him to movies.

3points

Camilla Koutsos 2 years ago

Us Kiwis remember it happening. We are so over not being allowed to shave our feet...

2points

PeepPeep the duck 2 years ago

😂 😭

1point

Cristi nah 2 years ago

2001

0points

Ąåřţđęşịɠŋȿ 2 years ago

ಥ_ಥ

0points

Indosidius 2 years ago

We were watching District 9, and someone asked me if the alien ship really came to hover over Johannesburg and what year it happened....

0points

Ozymandias73 2 years ago

2020

0points

#22

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "This steak tastes just like beef"

DigiDee , Justus Menke Report

Final score:

159points

POST

Caroline Kimber 2 years ago

I'm happy about that lol!

51points

Jerusalem Cat Syndrome 2 years ago

I'm happy about that, LOL!

0points

Steïcy Gya 2 years ago

Steaks can be from a variety of meat. There are also fish steaks. A steak is basically a specific way to cut a meat. It can be anything, some people eat kangaroo or ostrich steak. I believe that the person who posted this is probably the dumb one into believing that steaks can only be beef.

10points

Spencer's slave 2 years ago

Venison steak tastes nothing like beef, nor does lamb, chicken, kangaroo or ostrich.

7points

Dani M 2 years ago

sucks if you ordered salmon steak, great if you ordered rump

2points

Ozymandias73 2 years ago

If it tastes like fish, there might be a problem.

1point

Id row 2 years ago

I really want that steak in the pic, that looks delicious.

1point

Ima Manimal 2 years ago

Well………..

1point

Natty Tempest 2 years ago

Oh good. It used to taste like horse...

0points

Pepperoni Pizza 2 years ago

Otherwise His steaks are made of wood?

0points

Ąåřţđęşịɠŋȿ 2 years ago

I'd be concerned if it didn't. Curious though, what were you expecting it to taste like. Just curious.

0points

Xenon 2 years ago

I would certainly hope so.

0points

#23

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth If you drink a coke & then a diet coke, the sugar cancels out.

ScribblingOff87 , Ayesha Ch Report

Final score:

158points

POST

Lydsylou 2 years ago

I am quite happy with that theory

70points

HungryPanda 2 years ago

Like eating a steak with a bunch of veggies. Consider yourself vegan.

12points

MaggieMay85 2 years ago

It’s like you ate nothing

1point

Mabelbabel 2 years ago

That's the same kind of logic that food eaten off someone else's plate has no calories.

8points

TotallyNOTaFox 2 years ago

I mean, that would be an interesting research. The sugar replacements in diet coke trick the body into releasing more insulin because it thinks it's real sugar. (That why diet coke is bad for losing weight, you only get more hungry)

4points

Bill Swallow 2 years ago

I'll bet they think that if they eat pasta and antipasto they didn't take in any calories...

3points

Seth 2 years ago

So they think we've invented anti-sugar, but it's only used in diet soda?

3points

MJ 2 years ago

Coca Cola, get on this asap

2points

tee-lena 2 years ago

Coke Zero. 0 calories, 0 sugar. 100%delightful

0points

𝖊𝖜𝖔𝛋 2 years ago

If you cut a mars bar in half the calories fall out

1point

Ivy at Eve 2 years ago

You can also let it go flat and rhe sugar will fizzle out smh

0points

Ąåřţđęşịɠŋȿ 2 years ago

works for me

0points

#24

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I knew someone who thought the sun and the moon were the same thing. She was 18 and just graduated high school.

AaronD1986 , Matt Nelson Report

Final score:

150points

POST

JoyfulZebra 2 years ago

The moon is just the night sun

62points

Juan Something(downvotevictim) 2 years ago

The moon is the sun's backside, that's why it's called the moon 😂

15points

Dan Flo 2 years ago (edited)

There is a story about a tourist couple going to Norway to see the midnight sun, but then filed a complain because it was just the same sun they had in America.

5points

WindySwede 2 years ago

What the tourist expected? : stock-vect...903550.jpg

3points

Winnie the Moo 2 years ago

So she never saw the moon while the sub was still out?

5points

Robert T 2 years ago

Sunlight and moonlight ARE the same thing. The latter just being reflected sunlight. They are however two different celestial bodies. ;-)

2points

Heather Menard 2 years ago

How did she explain them being in the sky at the same time in two different places?

1point

Jon Steensen 1 year ago

she probably never looked up from the phone

0points

Brandi VanSteenwyk 2 years ago

Speaks volumes for the quality of education...

1point

John L 2 years ago

No Child Left Behind

1point

Duckie Measles 2 years ago

Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?

0points

Ansi 2 years ago

Don't sleep in class people...

1point

AMaureen Dance 1 year ago

At night the sun flips over.

0points

Jon Steensen 1 year ago

yeah they dial it down during the night, so everyone can sleep

0points

#25

I didn't take the promotion, because I would be paying too much in taxes.

dwightsrus Report

Final score:

141points

POST

Snorkeldorf 2 years ago

Many people don't realize that if a raise puts you in a higher tax bracket you will only pay the higher rate on the money earned that pushes you into the higher tax bracket. You owe in your original tax bracket on what you're paid before you hit the higher tax bracket. Taxes get so flipping complicated. If this person didn't understand that it would have been advantageous for them to talk to someone who did.

14points

Aisling Raye 2 years ago

I attempted to explain this to a painfully stupid ex of mine when he tried to use tax brackets as a reason I shouldn't accept an offer for a higher paying position. That conversation may not have been the reason I left him, but it certainly played a part in my decision to leave.

5points

Beeps 2 years ago (edited)

In the UK they take away your tax free amount if your income gets too high (ie the first £12570 that you earn each year *should* be tax free, but won’t be anymore if you go over the threshold.) Also, a lot of tax benefits, such as child benefit, are means tested, so you lose those if your income goes above the limit for that. [Edit: it’s absolutely soul destroying how factually correct information gets downvoted and misinformation gets upvoted on Bored Panda. Just because you don’t want to believe it, doesn’t make it any less true.]

10points

Robert T 2 years ago

I sincerely hope you are joking, otherwise you have the same problem as the person the OP is referring to. The first £12k *is* income tax free. Bands are then applied for higher incomes. It gets more confusing when you factor in N.I., which has a starting threshold and an upper limit. There are also other forms of income with different thresholds and rates, such as savings and dividends. You are right about means tested benefits, in that if your income goes up you can finish up losing that benefit and being worse off. This was one of the things that Universal Credit was designed to work with, as your benefit is reduced by something like 80% of what you earn over the threshold, meaning you actually get to keep a little bit more of the money when you are working. The thresholds though are woefully low.

6points

Wondering Alice 2 years ago

Support for Beebs for pointing out a real situation. I do understand tax brackets, but their point was not about that. Some years back my husband and I moved to UK (I'm British but had lived away a long time) we started out getting poorly paid work while finding our feet. The absolute worst part as we moved up was a period where we earned enough to no longer qualify for housing benefit and waived council tax but were yet to earn enough to actually afford to pay them. We did not have children, so we took the risk to continue and before long earned enough to be ok. If we had kids though, I can fully understand people being afraid of becoming homeless by losing benefits by earning just a bit over the threshold. In addition my parents have slightly over the threshold to receive any benifit over their pension which undeniably leaves them much worse off than friends with a little less. This has nothing to do with tax brackets.

3points

Dilly Millandry 2 years ago

Yes, your Personal Allowance goes down by £1 for every £2 that your adjusted net income is above £100,000. This means your allowance is zero if your income is £125,140 or above. When you are at that level, though, it's not actually that signifiant a proportion of your overall income.

1point

Satirecatsaysno 2 years ago (edited)

I do know someone who Said something similar once. His reasoning made sense, but mainly it was that the additional responsibility and workload was not worth the money he was making after he moved the higher tax bracket. **edit typo**

4points

Steven Peeters 2 years ago

My father once got promoted which put him in a higher tax bracket. His promotion resulted in him earning 6% less. This is something that happens... Ppl thinking this is a dumb thing to say need to realize that this situation can be very real.

3points

kesunyian 2 years ago

There are situations where that happens, you earn more money so loose benefits and pay more tax so your net income is less

3points

Bruce Horton 2 years ago (edited)

Yes if you are a very low wage earner with high benefit entitlements and no it's not that the higher taxes are a problem, it's because you lose some of the free stuff you got from other tax payers.

5points

Jessica Jones 2 years ago

when I worked HR, I had people deny promotions because they would lose benefits (American problem. We didn't pay enough or offer health instance. They would have lost WIC and Medicaid.)

1point

Caroline Starr 1 year ago

There is an interesting video from the UK where the man says this. Here if you go over a certain threshold you lose various child related allowances which cancel out the rise. They worked it out that they would just pay his rise into his personal pension account. This meant short term loss for long term gain, is tax-free, and he didn't lose his child benefits. My husband did this and nearly doubled his pension pot in 7 years.

0points

Seadog 2 years ago

One employer withheld my raise until the following year due to it throwing me into a new tax bracket and would result in me actually taking home less. Nice but then the following year my raise didn't amount to much.

0points

Lynne Kendall 2 years ago

At the bottom of each tax bracket that would be stupid, but a tax rise at a higher level could move you up a tax bracket, thus reducing your income. He may have been right.

0points

deejak 2 years ago

That'll show 'em.

0points

whatsnewadisposable Report

#26

“People in England knew about the Queen’s passing before we did (Americans) because of the time difference!” Meaning that because of the time difference, English people are somehow 6-8 hours AHEAD in the future??

Final score:

140points

POST

StrangeOne 2 years ago

I always make that joke, and thinking about time is a brain f**k. Once you realize that we're all living on this big rock and that everyone's position in relation to the sun is just that, the where you are. And Earth isn't a time machine. I actually confused myself thinking about it.

45points

Gustav Gallifrey 2 years ago

Oh, yes it is. Right now it's 6:19 pm here, but it's 4:19 am in New York. We've had Friday, our American friends are just waking up to it. (Just kidding, i know what you mean.)

11points

WindySwede 2 years ago

someone said: the worst thing about irony is when no one gets you are pulling a leg. (or sort) That's why I stoped making this sort of jokes, don't think I can pull it of as a joke 😅

6points

AR 2 years ago

It’s not that confusing…

1point

WA2DK 2 years ago

My family is always confused as to when my youngest daughter's born, cuz it was January 15th @5.10 pm in WA, which is January 16th @2.10 am in Denmark, so in their mind, I called them on the 16th and said I had just had her. Don't blame them for the confusion, though 😊

0points

Philly Bobcat Premium 2 years ago (edited)

I actually had an incident... albeit jokingly, with an Australian friend. Now bear in mind that in Sydney, they are 14 hours ahead of us here in Eastern USA. It was about midnight here and I was about to go in for a surgery that would save my life and it was not an easy one to say the least. I've been through a lot in my time but to say I wasn't afraid would be the biggest lie I ever told. I talked about it on social media around 11PM my time when an Aussie friend asked me what time the surgery was. I told her at 6AM Wednesday morning. She said "you're gonna be OK mate!" I said I hope so... "She said " It's 3PM Wednesday afternoon (as of 11PM) and I'm still talking to you and you're still here." Perspective! I had to laugh but it made me feel so good. As you can see, I AM still here! Advance Australia Fair!

5points

Ansi 2 years ago

This makes me remember the one that was angry with the rest of the world for not warning them about 9/11. They knew and didn't say anything so alot of people died. 🤦‍♀️

5points

BigCityLady 2 years ago (edited)

I remember that. So many Americans screaming at those in the countries that were 5+ hours ahead of OUR time zone for not warning us! Some Americans keep the stories alive of how utterly stupid and ignorant we all are. Still keeping the American label of stupid, ignorant and clueless alive.

3points

Robert T 2 years ago

In some respects, such as healthcare, we are several decades ahead. ;-)

5points

Lotekguy Premium 2 years ago

And TV censorship standards.

1point

Kat 2 years ago

Ha. Read Umberto Eco's 'the island of the day before' and you will see the confusion about time can lead to weird stuff

4points

Valerie G. 2 years ago

Remember everyone panicking when it was going from 1999 to 2000? I just started watching CNN as they were showing countries in the Far East having their fireworks and their lights were still on. So I went to bed at my usual time knowing all was well, we were going to be OKAY, the world wasn't going to end, planes weren't going to fall from the sky because of computer glitches, etc. etc.

3points

Dan Holden 2 years ago

I took a 45 minute flight that crossed timezones and landed before I took off.

2points

Noname 2 years ago

Well, technically...

2points

Eva 2 years ago

My brain just melted and flowed out my ears

1point

William Geonnotti 2 years ago

It’s like picking a movie seat, pick one in the front row so you see the movie before anyone else! /j

1point

#27

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Years ago, I found myself watching MTV “Street Smarts” with a man I had recently met. The question asked on the show was to put these events in chronological order from oldest to most recent, the events were: Civil War, Man on the Moon, Ice Age. I laughed, I joked what a ridiculous question it was, he didn’t seem the least amused, so I asked him, you know this, right? He replied, “I’m not good with dates”

bigshotz76 Report

Final score:

138points

POST

T. 2 years ago

Ice Age, Civil War, Man on the moon, Ice Age (Pixar)

157points

Moo 2 years ago

Ice Age isn't Pixar, it's Blue Sky :)

24points

Vic 2 years ago

You forgot to and Captain America: Civil War

16points

ConstantlyJon 2 years ago

oh god, people think pixar made ice age

14points

morbid macabre memento mori 2 years ago

Bro did not just say Ice Age is Pixar

4points

Flarpel Blarpel 2 years ago

We are actually in an ice age rn

3points

The Queen 2 years ago

Ice age was DreamWorks

2points

White Sauce Hot Sauce 2 years ago

If you're going by movies,it would be Man on the Moon (1999), Ice Age (2002), Captain America: Civil War (2016).

1point

Sam Cook 2 years ago

Well, you’re a little close, but only because Blue Sky was closed and succeeded by Twentieth Century Animation, which is owned by Disney now. But it was its own thing back then.

0points

HungryPanda 2 years ago

No one was asking about your personal life. Now, please put these events in chronological order.

13points

Donkey boi 2 years ago

It depends on which civil war. The Somalia Civil war is still ongoing...

9points

BWC 2 years ago

Time to end that date.

4points

Bobby 2 years ago

Man on the moon(1999), Iceage(2002), captain America: civil war(2016)

4points

Poké Man 2 years ago

Man on the Moon (1999), Ice Age (2002), Captain America: Civil War (2016)

1point

Brainmas 2 years ago

I forgot about that show. It was hard to watch!

1point

Paul Daly 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

1point

ShyWahine 2 years ago

And those youth are our future....

1point

User# 6 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Temporary Dork 2 years ago (edited)

Yes technically this is just an interglacial period, that began about 11,000 years ago. [EDIT: don't downvote User# 6, s/he's right!] [EDIT 2: thank you]

6points

#28

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Asked for diet water on a plane

Icy_mane , Jonathan Chng Report

Final score:

133points

POST

PlatinumThe8-BitCat 2 years ago

…diet..water?

68points

ConstantlyJon 2 years ago

they just want 1 hydrogen instead of 2 to go along with the oxygen.

10points

Juan Something(downvotevictim) 2 years ago

NOW WITH LESS SUGAR!

7points

Monday 2 years ago

Yeah you know! The gluten free kind!

4points

Mark Howell 2 years ago

Made from dehydrated water for less calories ;o)

3points

The Goo King 2 years ago

There is a brand of water called 'diet water'. Their marketing segmentation meetings must be hilarious.

2points

Phoenix(or nix)they/them 2 years ago (edited)

Yeah! It has so much oxygen and other atmospheric contents in it! It is so healthy and convenient you can open it and breath it in just like in The Lorax!

1point

SCP 4666 2 years ago

With 30% less H2O

1point

Jon Steensen 1 year ago

yes, if you own a restaurant you can by it as a syrup, that just needs to be mixed with water.

0points

Ivy at Eve 2 years ago

Yes because the carbonated water has carbohydrates in them, duhuh (and for those slow in the uptake totally being sarcastic here)

0points

Bobbo 2 years ago

Yes, and it costs $75 a bottle.

0points

Gregg Bender 2 years ago

Empty bottle.

0points

GlamourGhoul 2 years ago

Empty container

0points

Benita Valdez 2 years ago

Ok but in all seriousness, Japan has a diet water; it has vitamins and stuff added to it. So it's only a partially ridiculous question since it actually exists; completely ridiculous that it exists at all

13points

ninjaTrashPandaBoom 2 years ago

Give them some "dehydrated water" play stupid games, win stupid prizes

4points

Vasana Phong 2 years ago

Still half asleep, as I’m scrolling down I thought the pics were of pills in a foil packet

3points

Noel Bovae 2 years ago

I did too. (Though not half asleep.)

1point

Ima Manimal 2 years ago

Well, fortunately, that’s all we’ve got

2points

Bec 2 years ago

Ok, but there is a $5 upcharge for that.

1point

tuzdayschild 2 years ago

Not a problem. Here you go.

1point

Mike D 2 years ago

Would you settle for low-carb water?

1point

pfeils wife 2 years ago

is that a thing?

1point

VioletHunter 2 years ago

"All our water is diet water, ma'am" Delivered with a smile.

1point

MrLambNugget , Olav Ahrens Røtne Report

#29

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I was solving a Rubik's cube and a guy asked me how many sides it has and if I can make them all blue

Final score:

123points

POST

ShyWahine 2 years ago

Sure, pass me a blue sharpie....

14points

Boreddd(she/her) 2 years ago (edited)

As an artist, I can make all the sides blue. Lemme just bring my blue paint and my brushes

3points

Pieter LeGrande 2 years ago

I worked with a girl who regularly solved it in 10 to 15 seconds flat. Awesome.

2points

Sonja 2 years ago

I used mine as a puzzle, taking it apart and building it back together with the right order. I was small then and honestly thought that's how it was supposed to be done

2points

KittyGaming 2 years ago

Hawh whyyyyyy

1point

Scented Candle 2 years ago

Yes. You dip it in paint

1point

HungryPanda 2 years ago

The guy was high on something. No one is this stupid.

1point

Scented Candle 2 years ago

I’d like to introduce you to a whole lot of people in my school

1point

Graham Berry 2 years ago

To be fair the rubix toy does come in multiple shape options and some people do like to make some of the shape puzzles easier by taking the color part out of equation with a single can of spray paint.

0points

Ąåřţđęşịɠŋȿ 2 years ago

IT HURTS

0points

StrangeOne 2 years ago

Are they colour blind?

0points

#30

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I dated a girl who thought “the hole in the ozone layer are where the space shuttle come through to land.”

Father_Bones , NASA Report

Final score:

123points

POST

Lavender Myst 2 years ago

I know this move.... spaceballs right? Lol.

33points

StrangePenguin 2 years ago

Spaceballs the hole in the ozone

1point

Printerman 2 years ago

So glad I wasn't the only one to think it.

0points

Sarah Scotson 2 years ago

I thought the same 🤣🤣

0points

Lavender Myst 2 years ago

Movie*

0points

Anne Jones 2 years ago

I thought there was a big door in the atmosphere../s

2points

les 2 years ago

it sorta is, ego musks rockets are known to punch holes in the ozone layer. when nasa did it people worried but now an ego maniac with the social skills of a angry cat does it, it seems like nobody cares

1point

Boreddd(she/her) 2 years ago

Don't insult cats like that:(

5points

AR 2 years ago

It’s the creation of a very evil man called Thomas Midgley Jr, the inventor of CFCs. He also invented leaded gas and pushed for its use despite knowing how dangerous it was.

0points

John Dilligaf 2 years ago

That is one awesome photo.

0points

Jason Hulet 2 years ago

After reading through this, the proper response to most of the would be "yes" and walk away

0points

Brainmas 2 years ago

I really thought that when I was little lol! I definitely blame Spaceballs.

0points

AnnaRachelle 2 years ago

I had an elderly gentleman tell me this a while ago. He was dead serious. I just left it there.....

0points

ShyWahine 2 years ago

Ooof!

0points

Richienotsorich 2 years ago

That's what they're now accusing Musk of doing!

-1point

#31

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth "Am I going to be accountable for everything I say?!" -Overheard my old boss berating the rest of the staff in a shop I used to work at

savedbytheblood72 , Dylan Gillis Report

Final score:

51points

POST

Ge Po Premium 2 years ago

Yes, unless you are delirious (but only because of infection, poisoning or brain damage as voluntary substance abuse does not count), hypnotized (preferably not of your own volition) or seriously misquoted.

11points

ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago

yes ... yes you are ... this hasn't happened before?

0points

#32

Rep Hank Johnson (D-GA) who thought the island of Guam might tip over if too many people got on one side.

drawnnquarter Report

Final score:

50points

POST

I’ve Seen Things 2 years ago

This explains a lot about American politicians

41points

Chewie Baron Premium 2 years ago

There could be several threads about stupid shít American Politicians say. And yes, we could also do several threads about stupid shít British Politicians say. Including several for Boris alone!

4points

Upstaged75 2 years ago

And the dude is a Democrat!! We expect that kind of logic from the Right, but apparently Hank is kind of special. I'd love to know if he truly thinks islands are really just floating around out there, ready to tip over at any minute!

1point

Nichole Harris 2 years ago

Yes.... Yes it does

1point

Phoenix(or nix)they/them 2 years ago (edited)

Yeah, tbh it does. I hate it here. I'm stuck because I'm trapped in the cycle of being broke and not being able to afford to leave the country. Save me.

0points

Agfox 2 years ago (edited)

Let's not forget this gem: https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-town-rejects-solar-panels-amid-fears-they-suck-up-all-the-energy-from-the-sun-a6771526.html

7points

pfeils wife 2 years ago

Or MTG not wanting to use solar panels because she wants to be able to turn her house lights on at night. Her words: "Thank god for air conditioning. Let’s talk about refrigerators. I personally like my refrigerator. I know you all like yours. What about washing machines and dryers? Lord please God don’t make me scrub clothes in a bucket and have to hang them out on a line when we switch over to wind turbines and solar panels. I’m gonna be really pissed off about that. I mean, how absurd is this? I like the lights on. I wanna stay up later at night. I don’t wanna have to go to bed when the sun sets. It’s so silly! I mean, all of this is absolutely insane."

4points

Tiramisu 2 years ago

We watched this video in my Gov class once and my teacher was like “These are the people making our laws”.

6points

Upstaged75 2 years ago

That video is hilarious due to the face of the military leader who actually had to answer the world's dumbest question. I don't know how he did it without cracking up!

2points

Joshua Foster 2 years ago

How is a democrat this stupid allowed to represent groups of people in the halls of congress? Like who voted for him? 😂😂

1point

HungryPanda 2 years ago

For Comparison: (R-GA) Marjorie Taylor Greene “gazpacho police” patrolling the Capitol building in Washington DC..appears to confuse Hitler’s secret police with popular Spanish cold tomato soup.

6points

Cricketgeeklol 2 years ago

See saw see saw!

0points

ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago

yeah, and Marjorie Green doesn't make anything better.

0points

Mell 2 years ago

Nooooooooo

0points

#33

“Anyone else not able to sleep at night? Yeah, I don’t think I’m turnal” took me a few to realize she thought the term was “not turnal”

eWhiskey Report

Final score:

44points

POST

Bored Retsuko 2 years ago (edited)

I like going to the toilet at dawn because I'm cräp-uscular.

29points

Epona 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Bobby 2 years ago

It's noct-urnal, not Noc-turnal. Kinda like its helico-pter. Opposite is diurnal

2points

Crybabyartist 2 years ago

Seems like get up 4 or five times a night to go to the urnal

2points

HungryPanda 2 years ago

Everyone's at least a little bit turnal. There's no escaping it.

2points

Jake stenhouse 2 years ago

Not turnal??

0points

Ace Premium 2 years ago

Nocturnal.

5points

#34

Somewhat recently a girl told me me there is a conspiracy between big milk and big electric in the united states. That you don't actually have to refrigerate milk but they tell us we have to so they can make more money on electric bills. I tried to explain what pasteurization was, but goddamn its disturbing that she was just like “yehp this makes the most sense”

xiirri Report

Final score:

42points

POST

Noname 2 years ago

Uht milk doesn't need to be refrigerated until opened, and has a shelf life of about 8 months.

26points

Spencer's slave 2 years ago

For those down voting, UHT milk is also known as long life milk and has a shelf life of around 12 months or more, until opened.

19points

Agfox 2 years ago

You're correct so I don't know why you're being downvoted unless someone has never heard of UHT milk

10points

kathoco 2 years ago

Alas, not in America. UHT milk doesn’t exist.

7points

Noname 2 years ago

And I want to disspell the myth that you can't make fresh cheese ( cottage, farmers, queso fresca) with UHT milk. You can! And it's every bit as delish as with the fresh homogenised pasturised milk. The food pantry kept giving me 3 liters of uht milk every week but no cheese (I'm in France) and we don't drink or bake with milk that much, so I tried making a fresh cheese using vinegar even though all the recipes on the 'net say you can't do it with uht milk, but 4 liters made 650grams (1lb+) of a cheese similar to ricotta.

3points

CPooh 2 years ago

Does that work even in very hot climates? (I’m from Texas and I was astonished to see that people in England don’t regularly refrigerate raw eggs in shells. I think that would get nasty fast in the US south.)

2points

Chewie Baron Premium 2 years ago

I love the taste of UHT milk, or sterilised milk as it used to be known.

2points

Monday 2 years ago

Even after opening it you can usually get away with not refrigerating it unless it's really hot out or it takes you ages to get through a box. We go through at least a box a day so our UHT milk just sits on the counter by the coffee and sugar.

2points

Gardener of Weeden 2 years ago

OMG I have NEVER heard of such a thing. We are having issues with milk spoiling recently. I HAVE to now go and look for this. Thank YOU!

1point

Robert T 2 years ago

You don't have to refrigerate milk... if you keep it in the cow. ;-)

3points

Libstak 2 years ago

So does she switch off the refrigerator unless she is storing milk then?

2points

Agfox 2 years ago

Fun fact, aseptic (aka 'shelf-stable) milk can be kept in a pantry for up to 6 months but needs to be refrigerated once opened & then used within 7 days

1point

Reviewer UK01 2 years ago

My mum had a similar crazy belief and thought food makers and recipe writers were in cahoots with the electric people and put on the label that you had to put things in the oven for half an hour when really you could drop in the frying pan for a randomly chosen time period. Her speciality was ungodly and unidentified things which were burned on the outside and frozen in the middle.

0points

#35

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth Hmmm.... Got a couple from my days working in tourism in Hawaii. One of my favorites was "what's the difference between your mushroom and Swiss burger and your bacon guacamole burger? ". Next one, for context for those that don't know Maui, you can see two different islands from multiple vantage points on the island. Anyway, we had stopped at a lookout for some tourists to take a picture and a guy being completely serious asked, "So which one is Japan?". I was like, Japan is about 3k miles to the northwest. If you can see it, you have superpowers, sir.

boardjock , Eiliv Aceron Report

Final score:

37points

POST

Em 2 years ago

Reminds me of my all-time favorite customer question: "Does the vanilla iced coffee have coffee in it?"

20points

InfamousBerry34 2 years ago

I guess that could be confused with frappuccinos where you can have those without coffee

6points

PowellSkier 2 years ago

"Can you drive us closer to the sunset?"

3points

TotallyNOTaFox 2 years ago (edited)

If he wants to see Japan he only has to wait a few hundred-thousand years, Hawaii moves to the west with 10 cm per year

3points

WindySwede 2 years ago

or tourist was maby just flerf..? /s

1point

Michael Largey 2 years ago

Stupidity is the one superpower for which there is no kryptonite.

1point

Sonja 2 years ago

Well the what's the difference between question isn't half as stupid as people make it out to be, because often there's much more different than just the things in the name. In my favourite restaurant, the bacon burger has a beef patty BBQ sauce, bacon, obviously, lettuce, fried onions and tomatoes on a sesame bun. The avocado burger has a beef patty, avocado of course, tomatoes, sweet chili sauce, cucumber cress and mayonnaise on a sourdough patty. I experienced more often than not in some restaurants that someone asked for the difference, got a snotty answer of the obvious and when asked what else they'd list a whole other bunch of differences, most of them not obvious on the menu.

1point

Ian Webling 2 years ago

You should be able to see it irrespective of the distance because the earth is flat. /s

0points

#36

I was talking to a patient and I asked them which arm was injured. They said “my left your right” I was talking to them on the phone.

phantasybm Report

Final score:

37points

POST

Vasana Phong 2 years ago

One time a new patient had to fill out a packet of his demographics/medical history ect. in the section for what form of protection he uses, he wrote down, ugly

18points

Yo-kai Pro 2 years ago

Oof

5points

Mell 2 years ago

Could still be true.

5points

Lily bloom 2 years ago

I was making a Dr appt and kept having to repeat myself. The receptionist apologized saying "I can't hear you very well with my mask on." We were on the phone.

2points

ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago

actually I get that ... she is saying it is her left arm ... isn't she? and if she is facing him it's his right ...

2points

CPooh 2 years ago

“I was talking to them on the phone”

2points

HungryPanda 2 years ago

Think they might also have a concussion.

0points

#37

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth When I worked at Starbucks it was frequent question from customers to explain the difference between a hot and an iced drink…

Real_Pea5921 , Jiawei Zhao Report

Final score:

35points

POST

Maikku 2 years ago (edited)

I might understand this as in are there other differences than that. Like is the iced product the same stuff as the hot stuff, but just with ice (and obviously not hot). (I don't go to coffee shops and don't get the idea of adding ice to coffee, I think it would be gross) :D

11points

Bobby 2 years ago

The iced version is usually sweeter, so they could have been asking actual recipe difference. But maybe sugar is easier to taste at a cooler temp so there might not be anything

2points

Michael Largey 2 years ago

The difference between a hot drink and a cold drink is usually about 100 to 150 degrees Fahrenheit.

3points

CPooh 2 years ago

Don’t be rude just bc the customer doesn’t express themselves well. OP knows perfectly well that some places call a drink “iced” but it’s really a coffee flavored slurpee. Not everyone is cool enough to have the Starbucks menu memorized, you know. *rolls eyes at OP*

2points

Anya Beboop 2 years ago

Explaining iced vs blended is understandable. But otherwise no, you should know that there is ice therefore it will not be hot.

0points

Pedantic Panda 2 years ago

A hell of a lot more sugar in the iced drink?

1point

CPooh 2 years ago

Yeah, some places do that. And some places blend the ice in, instead of pouring the hot drink over ice cubes.

0points

Bored Retsuko 2 years ago

I'm not sure either. Would have to try both. Maybe one is hot and one is iced?

1point

Fish Fingers 2 years ago

Well yeah, but which is which?

5points

clist414 2 years ago

I get questions like this at work all the time. I make a face like I'm trying to figure out if they are for real and then say, "well...I hate to day it but it's pretty self explanatory. one is hot, and one is over ice", and just let that hang

0points

WindySwede 2 years ago

"Could I have a hot one but the ice on the side?" /s

2points

HungryPanda 2 years ago

Throw each in their face and let them decide?

-1point

#38

Birds aren’t animals.

oatsteoperosis Report

Final score:

33points

POST

Jeff (He/They) 2 years ago

People who say this unjokingly... they need help

13points

VioletHunter 2 years ago

I think these people just don't have the brain capacity to tell the words "animal" and "mammal" apart. They also slept through 5th grade biology class.

6points

Kitsune 3 months ago

hello person with changed profile pic.

0points

WindySwede 2 years ago

flerf and others alike

0points

PlatinumThe8-BitCat 2 years ago

Yes, birbs are flying plants, everyone knows that🙄

6points

Marco Richter 2 years ago

Birds are surveillance drones from the NWO

4points

Becky's Display Name 2 years ago

If it flies, it spies

1point

Tiramisu 2 years ago

#BIRSARENTREAL

3points

Paul Pienkowski 2 years ago

Birds aren't even REAL.

1point

Cricketgeeklol 2 years ago

Well what are they!

0points

Badulesia 2 years ago

Just tell the one who said that that him/her too is an animal (Homo "not that much" sapiens),

0points

ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago

what are they ... fairies?

0points

Upstaged75 2 years ago

Spy drones. ;)

1point

Stardust she/her Premium 2 years ago

High schools teach us about the phylum’s and kingdoms. How are people soo dumb?

0points

Vasana Phong 2 years ago

Even I know that, they’re robots made by the secret service to spy in us

0points

#39

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth I once heard someone say they believe the old lady from the Titanic movie is an actual titanic survivor. When I told them she's an actress, they tried to call me bluff

GaryLooiCW Report

Final score:

30points

POST

Monday 2 years ago

I've met a couple of people who thought Jack and Rose were real people too.

12points

Crybabyartist 2 years ago

they are real people, they're just pretending to be imaginary.

3points

ShyWahine 2 years ago

Such a convincing actress, eh?

3points

Mohsie Supposie 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

1point

§• Råinbow Påndå •§ 2 years ago

This comment has been hidden. Click here to view.

0points

Refurbished_beast , Michael Discenza Report

#40

30 People Share The Absolute Dumbest Things They've Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth That 16 year olds should be allowed to drink and drive. They spent at least 10 minutes trying to legitimately defend this point to a room of adults. The individual making the point was in her late 20s

Final score:

30points

POST

Caroline Kimber 2 years ago

Are they trying to justify their own drinking and driving?

17points

WindySwede 2 years ago

nooo.. /s

0points

Rose the Cook 2 years ago

Could the person possibly have meant they should be allowed to get a driving license OR buy alcohol at that age rather than drink and drive at the same time? Even that wouldn't be a good idea though.

3points

Pieter LeGrande 2 years ago

I got my driving licence at age 16yo. (South Australia, 1961).

1point

Paul Macdonell 2 years ago

But ...many European countries allow children alcohol at a young age and they have less problems as a society with abuse.

2points

Doctor Strange 2 years ago

Drinking I could understand. Its the 'and driving' part that is a 'no'. No one, of any age, should be drinking and driving.

6points

Tenement_Funster 2 years ago

But it's still forbidden to drive while being drunk

3points

VioletHunter 2 years ago

You can drink beer and wine (not spirits) at 16, but not drive until 18.

1point

David A Paterson 2 years ago (edited)

The OP is deliberately misleading, saying "for drinking and driving" when it should say "for drinking and for driving". The minimum age for marriage, for military service, for driving, for gun ownership, and for drinking, are always going to be debated. Currently, they depend on the country.

1point

Xenon 2 years ago

And now some want the voting age to be 16.

0points

#41

"nobody knows who the second man on the moon was" That was a sales manager giving one of those motivational speeches to his entire team.

FlashDangerpants Report

Final score:

16points

POST

clist414 2 years ago

I mean... I think he was trying to make a point, not be literal like "no one knows! It's a mystery!"

35points

kathoco 2 years ago

Yeah, I think the OP looks a little silly for not understanding the point, that Armstrong is more likely to be known than Aldrin because he was first.

16points

XenoMurph 2 years ago

The statement has been made so many times that Neil Armstrong is no longer more famous than Buzz Lightyear.

11points

RaroaRaroa 2 years ago

They should have said "no one remembers...".

2points

Michael Largey 2 years ago

The point he was making unintentionally was that he assumed everyone was as ignorant as him.

1point

Nea 2 years ago

Hahaha

0points

Gustav Gallifrey 2 years ago

Tell that to Buzz Aldrin, and you could be picking up your teeth from out of the gutter.

8points

MargyB 2 years ago

Poor Buzz

3points

Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 2 years ago

About 20 years ago, some young punk was harassing Aldrin on the bus, saying the landings were faked, and that Aldrin was a lying SOB. Aldrin decked the idiot.

11points

Ansi 2 years ago

But this one makes sense even though it should be worded better. The first place of almost anything is remembered, the person in second place gets forgotten. People in the USA might know all presidents but not they vice president. The latest Olympic winner But not the person that came in second... It doesn't mean that nobody in the whole world doesn't know it. So the above was worded badly but almost anyone gets what the motivational speaker meant.

2points

David A Paterson 2 years ago

Yes, but even when they say nobody remembers which sporting team or person came second, it's still false. People do remember who came second. It's a lousy motivational speech.

1point

PowellSkier 2 years ago

Duh. It was Buzz Lightbeer

1point

Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 2 years ago

Of course, what he meant to say was 'Nobody REMEMBERS who the second man on the moon was'

1point

Natty Tempest 2 years ago

They're trying to make the motivational comment about remembering second place...

0points

Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago

Buzz Aldrin or something innit? Idk

0points

Scrogginj 2 years ago

I was told recently in all seriousness that it was faked and more conspiracy junk than I cared to listen to

0points