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Whether we're opening our mouths without thinking, have social anxiety, or are just trying to cut through an awkward silence, everyone is bound to say something foolish every once in a while.
So it should come as no surprise that when Reddit user AlgorithmOmega asked people on the platform to share the dumbest statements they've heard, the responses came pouring in, showcasing just how common and relatable these moments are.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
My personal favourite was the anti-vaxxer who told me all about how dangerous vaccines are. How many weird and toxic chemicals are in them, and what those chemicals would do to my body. Then she lit up a cigarette…
RELATED:
#2
“Women are responsible for men’s loneliness epidemic.”
My dudes: Go get yourself a friend, a hobby, a dog. Your relationships, entertainment, and play dates are not our responsibility.
#3
Have a misogynistic coworker who claimed the male lions do all the hunting, because he couldn't stand the idea of a female anything being better.
#4
The US has “never been a racist country” is up there. Leaving out the fact that the civil war was fought over slavery is pretty stupid too.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
The USA was born a racist nation. Slavery is a black mark on our history that can never be cleansed.
#5
"Healthy women don't get periods."
#6
Windmills cause cancer.
Global warming isn’t real because it’s cold outside.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
Some people actually think that windmills are stealing the wind and that's why the world is getting warmer. I wish I was making this up but that stupid is a congressman for the state of Georgia.
#7
"The vaccine can't survive 24h outside the fridge, and our body is not a fridge, so the vaccine can't last more than 24h in our body."
It took me 10second to even comprehend and recover from the stupidity of the statement.
Guy-Incognito 1 year ago
Sadly they tend to be the ones that breed the most.
Load More Replies...
Michael Largey 1 year ago
Ice cream can't survive 24h outside the fridge, and our body is not a fridge. Apparently, this is a conclusive argument against eating ice cream.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
The vaccine doesn't need 24hr to do its job. It's designed to stimulate the immune system rapidly and then go away for good reason. If it stuck around it really would be that thing the conspiracy theorists accuse it of.
TheGoodBoi 1 year ago
Isn't it amazing how stupid someone sounds, that they can just make you pause. You just want to reply with "Bless your heart" and keep moving.
Alex Kennedy 1 year ago (edited)
I mean… yeah? It’s consumed by macrophages (I assume) and presented on their surface for interaction with Memory T cells. Once the Memory T cells recognise it, that T-cell line is upregulated and proliferates, meaning that the body is primed to fight off a virus containing those antigens. We don’t WANT it to “survive” in the body.
robin aldrich 1 year ago
Oh well I hadn't heard that.... so because our bodies are typically 98.6° and not a fridge the vaccine doesn't last... wow wow
#8
The earth is flat and only 6000 years old.
#9
"American Healthcare has some issues, but it's still the best in the world" some ignorant redneck to me, a literal nurse working in an American ICU while he accumulates tens of thousands of dollars in medical debt
#10
"You shouldn't speak Spanish if you're not Mexican"
- a customer who got mad at me for helping another customer in Spanish
#11
"The center of the Galaxy and the earth are aligned! We so are in the end times!"
To which I responded, "two points are always aligned, it's called a line!"
He was super religious by the way...
Phantom Phoenix 1 year ago
The Mayan calendar ended in 2012. We're living AFTER the end times!
#13
Had a friend insist Hawaii is a seperate country, not a US state. (We're both Americans) I'm still very embarrassed that we both attended the same high school.
#14
In the middle of a "Bill Gates created Covid to microchip us" (which itself is pretty up there) rant: "He tested it in Africa. There were no diseases in Africa until Bill Gates went there and started spreading them"
#15
I was talking about how terrible the homeless situation in America is and my step mother said "well It's mostly brown people and that's what they get for coming here illegally". All I could do was lol and say you need to quit watching Faux news 24/7. The struggle is real people.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
No idea where you would get this idea. I live in Portland Oregon and I'd say about 80% of the homeless folk I see on a daily basis are white born free American citizens.
#16
“The way you’re raised has nothing to do with the way you turn out”
- my mom to me when I called her out on her behaviour
Gabriele Alfredo Pini 1 year ago
Kinda like saying that the big five fingers welt on your cheek has nothing to do with the slap I gave you earlier...
#18
“If China’s been around for so long, how come they never invented anything?”
If it were a genuine, ignorant question, that’d be one thing, but it was rhetorically asked as if to say China’s never accomplished anything. Baffling.
Charlie the Cat 1 year ago
Just Googled it. China has been the source of many innovations, scientific discoveries and inventions. This includes the Four Great Inventions: papermaking, the compass, gunpowder, and printing (both woodblock and movable type).
#19
"pseudoscience is still science"
james stevenson 1 year ago
Actually, it is officially classified as *checks "book of stupid things" * *ahem* "B******t disguised as fact"
#20
Coworker: "If vegans care about animals so much, and they eat all the vegetables, then all the animals who eat vegetables will go hungry"
He genuinely thought it was some gotcha about vegans and I had to jump out of the argument for a minute to be like "wait is that actually something you think could happen?" Apparently we're competing with rabbits in a zero sum game of who can eat the most carrots
james stevenson 1 year ago
What about all the animals that have to be killed & stuff to actually grow the veggies anyway?
#21
Heard from a guy I was working with over the weekend. He was on the phone with his mom.
"Im not even going to vote. I just hate politics nowadays. Now if I say i hate black people, they say I'm a racist. What's so racist about that?!"
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
The fact it is actual racism. Bro is describing actual racism.
#22
On a conservative forum, some person was lamenting cost of his medical procedure AFTER insurance paid their part.
"I can't image how much it would cost if it were free!"
james stevenson 1 year ago
"I can imagine how much money I would have to spend if I didn't have to spend any money!"
#23
That’s why you have autism!
Response to “Well I’m getting the vax being I don’t want to die”
My response to that was “I thought you get Autism **after** the vaccine?”
#24
“I’m not racist my dogs black”Heard it more than once. Abhorrent statement to make. And yes that is the first time I’ve used that word Abhorrent in a sentence, but needs must.
#25
I write software, had a boss with little technical knowledge for a bit.
He asked me to 'make the software do X or Y depending on what the user wanted when they clicked the button'. I asked what he meant, he got upset, told me it was simple. If the user wants X to happen when they click the button, do that! If they want Y to happen when they click the button, do that! At first I thought maybe he meant there was some other way to figure that out from context.. but no, ultimately he meant 'read the users mind and intent when they click the button'.
#26
There was a certain politician that, speaking about some military business, said "I know more about that than the generals". He was wrong.
#27
"I don't get why they keep changing the all the sciencey facts in schools." - Some lady at a truck stop in Louisiana.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
Because Science adapts to new information and evidence. Dogma does not.
#28
It's your duty as a woman to have a child and whether you want one or not, doesn't matter.
#30
"The Bible is historical fact and never contradicts itself."
"No matter where you are, you're always going North."
"You can't cook with gas."
"Cool ranch doritos are ranch flavored?!?" -Me-
#31
“There’s no such thing as mental health”
Parents say the weirdest s**t sometimes
#32
If dinosaurs were real wouldn’t I see more of their bones laying around.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
65 million years is a long time. Too long for people with very small brains.
#33
I worked with someone who had a Bachelor's degree and was a Registered nurse and I don't remember why but the conversation about the sun being a star came up and she said "The sun isn't a star, it's too close. If it was a star it'd be a dot like the other ones."
Debby Keir 1 year ago
Sure, but her nursing qualification was for nursing and not astrophysics.
#34
"This is a tough hurricane, one of the wettest we've ever seen, from the standpoint of water."
#35
I used to work at a movie theatre and I would encounter dumb statements/questions on the daily.
The stupidest by far?
"if we're late to the movie, do we get a discount?"
Tucker Cahooter 1 year ago
They should also ask that the film be stopped and restarted from the beginning
#36
You'll use less gas if you drive fast because you get there sooner.....friends little sister. 40 years ago.
Herringbone 1 year ago
That's right - you drive faster so that you get there before the tank runs dry. (No, I'm not being serious.)
#38
"If you stay humble, work hard, and tell the truth, people will respect and reward you for it." Also "It's all part of God's plan."
#40
I was working for a contracting company and doing work for a hospital. I started off just hooking up and moving PCs. Really basic stuff that anyone who can walk and chew gum could figure out. And a lot of the people they hired had a hard time with that. After the project was done the hospital realized I wasn't a moron and kept me around. I worked my way up to a system admin level job. And the contracting company had to cut my pay. I asked for a raise and explained to them how I was doing far more advanced work but I heard the stupidest thing I've ever been told. My "boss" ( all he did was sign a check ) explained to me by getting a $2/hr pay cut I will be better off because I will be paying less taxes. I started off making $16/hr. My contract ended a bit later and I got hired on directly and got a really nice raise.
Kira Okah 1 year ago (edited)
This was probably for sleazy purposes, yes. However there are a lot of people who do not understand how income tax brackets work, or the difference between gross and net income, or the difference between income and wealth, or the difference between income and wages. May have had some interesting discussions recently about all of these with people who are older and richer (though that's not difficult) than me.
#41
Not really a statement but “what if Isaac Newton never invented gravity?”
troufaki13 1 year ago
We would all be floating around without a care in the world. Stupid gravity.
#43
A Christian told me that "slavery in the Bible days is like being a live in nanny now," and she said it with a straight face.
#44
"I've met Boris Johnson; I think his heart's in the right place."
#45
Friend, in the pool, while choking.... "I couldn't breathe underwater".... He was 23 at the time.
#46
The best way to find a job is to walk in the front door with a copy of your resume.
#47
You can only get HPV if you sleep with many men. If you stick to 1 partner, you are not at risk and don’t need the vaccine. Because the virus checks if you have reached your duck quotum yet, before it hops off and into your vagina. Of course. And you can’t get it through aaaaany other means.
Kira Okah 1 year ago
I don't know how it is in other countries, but here women and girls have the HPV vaccine on vaccine schedules, while men and boys do not - they have to specifically request it. Given that infection can be spread between partners no matter what parts those they bonk have, and it can cause cancers in everyone, men and boys should have it on their vaccine schedules too, to protect themselves and others.
#48
When I was playing WoW and every guild having their own forum was a thing, a guild member posted some photos of his kills from a hunt. Now it’s important to say that at the time I didn’t have strong opinions on hunting, and this in particular is not the point of the stupid statement, but is the cause of it. The whole guild of members made fun of him for killing defenseless animals to the point where he made the following comment, slightly paraphrased because it’s been 18 years: “OH YEA WELL YOU GUYS THINK YOURE SO INNOCENT GOING IN AND KILLING RAGNAROS EVERY WEEK AND ALL OF THOSE RAID BOSSES?” To be clear, he was comparing actually hunting a defenseless animal to killing bosses in a video game, and yes he was very serious.
james stevenson 1 year ago
I'm pretty sure that, against a gun (or whatever he used for hunting), almost all animals are defenceless
#49
“It’s just a bad cold.” Said by my mother who had Covid 5 times, 3 of her friends died from it and so did my step-dad, but like “it’s just a bad cold”.
FluffyDreg 1 year ago
I mean to some extent yes. Its a bad cold.... that our bodies have never fought before and have to build a defense up from scratch.
#50
“I’m a very stable genius.”
#52
"you weren't poor growing up like me. That's why you didn't eat bananas as a kid"
The stupid thing was she wasn't poor.
Joseph Dixon 1 year ago
A lot of people claim they grew up poor when they didn't so they can wear it as a badge of honor.
#53
“The smell on your skin after using a tanning bed is the smell of your organs burning inside”. -She was dead serious. She now owns a skin clinic. Another example of why I don’t trust professionals just because they call themselves professionals
#54
"I wouldn't say it was a failure, I'd say it didn't work" - E. Macron
#55
Watching an episode of The First 48. A detective investigating a murder says, "Nobody expects to go to sleep and wake up dead the next morning."
#57
I used to debate conservatives and Republicans online. The dumbest thing I ever heard any of them say was: >"Within ten years of leaving office, George W. Bush will be ranked among the greatest U.S. Presidents of all time."
Little Wonder 1 year ago
Do you all remember when we thought he was the worst president ever? Simpler times.
#58
Heard a boomer I work with say to another in reference to a storm we were getting: "This generation has got the weather so f****d up nowadays." You might think he meant generation as in time period, but if you knew the guy like I do, you would know he was actually blaming young people for the weather being inclimate.
#59
Coworker: "I know that's what I wrote, but that's not what I meant!"
james stevenson 1 year ago
It is pretty impossible to determine people's tone when something is written or typed than when they actually say it
#60
I’m infertile just like my mom.
#61
The freezing temperature of water is 36 degrees. We all were baffled when we heard this said in the car by my friend’s girlfriend.
#62
"Health at every size".
Little Wonder 1 year ago
To a degree, but thin doesn't automatically mean healthy just as fat doesn't automatically mean unhealthy.
What do you think ?
Dream 1 year ago
No one mentioned this gem---"All I know about magnets is, if you put water on them, they don't work!"~ 3 guesses which orange faced criminal said this.
Bored Trash Panda 1 year ago
Oh, did you hear the one about the boat, boat battery, and the sharks? If it wasn't so worrying that this man is running for president again, it would have been hilarious.
Load More Replies...
Richard Graham 1 year ago
I was watching "Schindler's List" with a friend. A half-hour into the movie she said "What war is this?" About an hour into the movie she said "You mean they were doing all of these terrible things to people just because they were Jewish?" She was a college graduate.
MadRatter 1 year ago (edited)
When I went to school in Germany, nearly ALL of of our history lessons were about the 2nd world war. As an immigrant kid I thought it was a shame that my classmates were basically being indoctrinated to be ashamed of being German. Both of my British grandparents served during the war, so what? This was 2 generations ago.... Hardly any other historical periods were taught. Of course we shouldn't forget, but come on Germany....
Load More Replies...
roddy 1 year ago
I once made a comment about a concentration camp only to discover that the person I was speaking with thought a concentration camp was somewhere you went to meditate. He was in his twenties and had never heard of them.
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
https://www.southparkstudios.com/video-clips/cqx54e/south-park-concentration-camp
Load More Replies...
Amy Manzanares 1 year ago
My roommate insists that ALL kittens are born with lice. Also, we had gotten a new kitten and I was trying to figure out how old she was. He told me she was 10 weeks because he saw her poo and kittens don't poo until they are 10 weeks old. LOL! He's pretty consistent with general stupidity.
B 1 year ago
My sister-in-law once came up with a classic. Talking about someone she knew who had been in an accident, she announced, 'He was a vegetable. Like, literally a vegetable.' Actually, if he was literally a vegetable, he'd be, like, literally an actual vegetable. She's about as dumb as, like, a literal vegetable.
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
so few? I think I lost about 1000 smashing my head against my desk.
Load More Replies...
Jenna Kay 1 year ago
Worked in a school and got into an argument with a teacher's aide - she thought Alaska was an island ... next to Hawaii ... a few miles off the coast of southern California. I had to get a globe out and show her where they were. This led to my realization that she also believed Canada was in Europe, Mexico was in South America, and the US was "just a big island" 🫣
Richard Graham 1 year ago (edited)
Many United States maps have Alaska and Hawaii in a little box on the lower left. That is why a surprising number of people think Alaska is an island.
Load More Replies...
Richard Graham 1 year ago
Got a phone call. caller "What'cha doing?" "watching a movie." "what movie?" "North by Northwest." "Is it any good?" "It's great! A classic! One of Alfred Hitchcock's best work." "Who's Alfred Hitchcock?"
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
hmm yes you can have people who do not know who HK is, usually they will be younger. I personally have only seen one of his movies. So... ya. And I'm old.
Load More Replies...
Papa 1 year ago
I once had a woman ask me for advice. She was planning to sell her house, and it needed new carpet, but she was concerned that people might not like the color of the new carpet. I suggested researching the cost of new carpet, and telling prospective buyers that she had lowered the price for the house to allow them to put in whatever kind they wanted. Her reply was "But what if I did that, and they bought the house, and then didn't get new carpet?" I believe that in her mind she thought she'd somehow be cheated if that happened.
Debby Keir 1 year ago
Once sold a house with a swimming pool. Just before completion (UK) the buyer decided she didn't want a pool, and wanted £10k off so that she could fill it in. (We declined, and basically the sale did go through at the agreed rate)
Load More Replies...
ZuriLovesYou 1 year ago
The dumbest statement I've ever heard came from my mom. She asked if I was sad, and I said no. Then she said, "Good. We don't do depression". Like, what does that even mean? You think I WANT to be mentally ill?!
Magenta Blu 1 year ago
"I love you and will never hurt you" right.... And then sexually assault my daughters (4 and 6 yo) less than one year later.
A C 1 year ago
Oh my goodness! I hope you and your daughters are receiving love and care in your recovery from this horrible trauma?🫶 May the person who committed this despicable act be punished in a way that they deserve and no mercy given!
Load More Replies...
Natalie Kelsey 1 year ago
My husband and I used to play cards with another newly wed couple early in our marriage. Once I was the dealer and shuffled the cards a whole bunch of times. The other couple insisted that "if you shuffle more than three times, the cards will come back around" to the arrangement they were in when you started. My husband and I were baffled and asked them to clarify. They both insisted you couldn't shuffle the cards more than Three times or it was like you'd never shuffled them at all. Both people were masters degree students and otherwise quite intelligent. My husband and I still crack up about this situation 24 years later.
Allen Packard 1 year ago
Another liberal echo chamber article, refreshing and thought provoking as ever.
Arlene Harris 1 year ago
My dad told the story of why he divorced his first wife (in the 1950's, btw) because he was talking to her about this interesting book he read about the American Civil War and she just looked at him and said, "we won that one, right?" And he had three kids with her! One of whom is a perpetual stoner without a real job, one went AWOL from the army and disappeared, and the third one, well, her name is Karen, so... yeah
Arlene Harris 1 year ago
however, Im not immune to stupidity either... I remember in Jr. High we were reading The Outsiders and we had to do a mock trial on the robbery scene and I was on the defense and something made me say "no one can steal that much stuff from a store, how could he carry it all?' without realizing that he robbed the store of money... yeah that's why I'm not a lawyer :-D
Load More Replies... SweetCheesySpaghetti 1 year ago
Worst I've heard: "Women who have c-sections aren't real mothers. If it didn't come out of your vagina, you are not a real mother."
Dream 1 year ago
No one mentioned this gem---"All I know about magnets is, if you put water on them, they don't work!"~ 3 guesses which orange faced criminal said this.
Bored Trash Panda 1 year ago
Oh, did you hear the one about the boat, boat battery, and the sharks? If it wasn't so worrying that this man is running for president again, it would have been hilarious.
Load More Replies... Richard Graham 1 year ago
I was watching "Schindler's List" with a friend. A half-hour into the movie she said "What war is this?" About an hour into the movie she said "You mean they were doing all of these terrible things to people just because they were Jewish?" She was a college graduate.
MadRatter 1 year ago (edited)
When I went to school in Germany, nearly ALL of of our history lessons were about the 2nd world war. As an immigrant kid I thought it was a shame that my classmates were basically being indoctrinated to be ashamed of being German. Both of my British grandparents served during the war, so what? This was 2 generations ago.... Hardly any other historical periods were taught. Of course we shouldn't forget, but come on Germany....
Load More Replies... roddy 1 year ago
I once made a comment about a concentration camp only to discover that the person I was speaking with thought a concentration camp was somewhere you went to meditate. He was in his twenties and had never heard of them.
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
https://www.southparkstudios.com/video-clips/cqx54e/south-park-concentration-camp
Load More Replies... Amy Manzanares 1 year ago
My roommate insists that ALL kittens are born with lice. Also, we had gotten a new kitten and I was trying to figure out how old she was. He told me she was 10 weeks because he saw her poo and kittens don't poo until they are 10 weeks old. LOL! He's pretty consistent with general stupidity.
B 1 year ago
My sister-in-law once came up with a classic. Talking about someone she knew who had been in an accident, she announced, 'He was a vegetable. Like, literally a vegetable.' Actually, if he was literally a vegetable, he'd be, like, literally an actual vegetable. She's about as dumb as, like, a literal vegetable.
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
so few? I think I lost about 1000 smashing my head against my desk.
Load More Replies... Jenna Kay 1 year ago
Worked in a school and got into an argument with a teacher's aide - she thought Alaska was an island ... next to Hawaii ... a few miles off the coast of southern California. I had to get a globe out and show her where they were. This led to my realization that she also believed Canada was in Europe, Mexico was in South America, and the US was "just a big island" 🫣
Richard Graham 1 year ago (edited)
Many United States maps have Alaska and Hawaii in a little box on the lower left. That is why a surprising number of people think Alaska is an island.
Load More Replies... Richard Graham 1 year ago
Got a phone call. caller "What'cha doing?" "watching a movie." "what movie?" "North by Northwest." "Is it any good?" "It's great! A classic! One of Alfred Hitchcock's best work." "Who's Alfred Hitchcock?"
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
hmm yes you can have people who do not know who HK is, usually they will be younger. I personally have only seen one of his movies. So... ya. And I'm old.
Load More Replies... Papa 1 year ago
I once had a woman ask me for advice. She was planning to sell her house, and it needed new carpet, but she was concerned that people might not like the color of the new carpet. I suggested researching the cost of new carpet, and telling prospective buyers that she had lowered the price for the house to allow them to put in whatever kind they wanted. Her reply was "But what if I did that, and they bought the house, and then didn't get new carpet?" I believe that in her mind she thought she'd somehow be cheated if that happened.
Debby Keir 1 year ago
Once sold a house with a swimming pool. Just before completion (UK) the buyer decided she didn't want a pool, and wanted £10k off so that she could fill it in. (We declined, and basically the sale did go through at the agreed rate)
Load More Replies... ZuriLovesYou 1 year ago
The dumbest statement I've ever heard came from my mom. She asked if I was sad, and I said no. Then she said, "Good. We don't do depression". Like, what does that even mean? You think I WANT to be mentally ill?!
Magenta Blu 1 year ago
"I love you and will never hurt you" right.... And then sexually assault my daughters (4 and 6 yo) less than one year later.
A C 1 year ago
Oh my goodness! I hope you and your daughters are receiving love and care in your recovery from this horrible trauma?🫶 May the person who committed this despicable act be punished in a way that they deserve and no mercy given!
Load More Replies... Natalie Kelsey 1 year ago
My husband and I used to play cards with another newly wed couple early in our marriage. Once I was the dealer and shuffled the cards a whole bunch of times. The other couple insisted that "if you shuffle more than three times, the cards will come back around" to the arrangement they were in when you started. My husband and I were baffled and asked them to clarify. They both insisted you couldn't shuffle the cards more than Three times or it was like you'd never shuffled them at all. Both people were masters degree students and otherwise quite intelligent. My husband and I still crack up about this situation 24 years later.
Allen Packard 1 year ago
Another liberal echo chamber article, refreshing and thought provoking as ever.
Arlene Harris 1 year ago
My dad told the story of why he divorced his first wife (in the 1950's, btw) because he was talking to her about this interesting book he read about the American Civil War and she just looked at him and said, "we won that one, right?" And he had three kids with her! One of whom is a perpetual stoner without a real job, one went AWOL from the army and disappeared, and the third one, well, her name is Karen, so... yeah
Arlene Harris 1 year ago
however, Im not immune to stupidity either... I remember in Jr. High we were reading The Outsiders and we had to do a mock trial on the robbery scene and I was on the defense and something made me say "no one can steal that much stuff from a store, how could he carry it all?' without realizing that he robbed the store of money... yeah that's why I'm not a lawyer :-D
Load More Replies... SweetCheesySpaghetti 1 year ago
Worst I've heard: "Women who have c-sections aren't real mothers. If it didn't come out of your vagina, you are not a real mother."
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