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What does it mean to be a "real" man? Well, masculinity is one of those topics everyone has an opinion on, as gender norms remain a delicate subject that tends to spark heated debates online. And even though public attitudes are becoming more accepting in many ways, stereotypical patterns of masculine behavior are still deeply rooted in our society — according to the age-old cliché of the masculine guy, men are expected to be strong, brave, and dominant.

But in reality, when people are telling everyone that a macho man doesn't cry, takes risks, makes money, fears nothing, and — heaven forbid! — never shows any signs of emotional vulnerability, it can spark some pretty warped ideas about manhood.

Thanks to one illuminating corner of Twitter called 'Hot Masculinity Takes,' we get to see a galore of absurd cases when this happens online. "Welcome to the Alpha Zone," says the account’s description, and you already know it’s gonna be a wild ride. So continue scrolling to check out the absolutely ridiculous opinions about men on the Internet, and don’t miss the chat we had about masculinity with licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Jesse Matthews right below.

Psst! After you’re done with this list, more madness awaits in Part 1 of this feature right here.

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Raccoon panda
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wanna punch the idiot who wrote this put down. And I’m an oh-so-estrogenic woman. My crushing lack of testosterone must be making me so irrational to say something like this. Isn’t it?🙄😤😡 Who is this misogynistic weirdo, to think he can be rude to the ladies and gentlemen like that? Bet he’s an insecure neckbeard.

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It’s hard to avoid encountering the term toxic masculinity these days. But as the person behind the account, who preferred to stay anonymous, told my colleague Rokas in a previous interview, this social media project is not purely about that. The philosophy of the page is to post the takes and let people make their own conclusions. "I do draw a lot from the manosphere but a lot of the takes are from women speaking about men, and I include left-wing hot takes too," the creator added.

A brief scroll through the list proves that harmful stereotypes about what it means to be a man are abundant in today’s society. But what exactly urges people to share their absurd statements without any second thought? And how can these ideas affect men seeking out their masculine identity?

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$cagsy
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How on earth are you going to lie down on your stomach while you're fighting women? Also, WHY are you fighting women? You shouldn't be fighting anyone, least of all women. SMH.

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Bill Evs
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've always slept on my stomach, didn't realise I was gay. Suppose I'd better let my wife know.

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Jeff Gabrisl
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Calling something gay is so gay... I mean, you you must have enough experience with gay activities to be able to determine what is truly gay. Otherwise, you're just projecting your hopes that you can finally unleash the pretty little c*ck s**t inside of you. Btw, absolutelchaos, I'm not referring to you, but the guy who made the tweet, and every other person that uses gay in a derogatory manner

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Carole
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is it because when you see a man laying on his stomach you see his butt and it makes you feel things OP?

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Remi (He/Him)
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ummm neither me nor my sleeps on our stomachs. Btw. we're verrry gay, but also too fat for that. Does this mean we need to give away our queer cards? /j

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Sarah Parker
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Haha with a profile pic of Biden? Definitely the Orange One incognito after his ban from twitter

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ί𝔫CίŦᵃт𝐔𝐬
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Haha, reminds me, my sister has a little dog, about 12 pounds, who has to stand over someone and let his penis touch them. It just has to be touching something. All the time. Even barely. I guess he's an alpha

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Lara Verne
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seriously, what's going on in your head, that you come up with this s**t?

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Ru Bee
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only way this is homosexual is if there is a male lover beneath you that you have your c**k inside.

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Eb
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

TBH I'm more offended by the abuse of the verb 'to lie'.

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Justin
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This man spends too much time thinking about protecting his but hole

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Jaya
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel sad when I try to imagine how unenjoyable your life must be if you limit yourself so much out of fear.

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Terran
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Using fancy words like homosexual makes you look educated and we all know education makes you gay. So he admitted to being gay and that's gay.

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Mr.Kris
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So is slapping all your buddies butts while enjoying a little game of ball together..

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Show thyself
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So~ does that mean, that lying on their back is "extremly homosēxual" for women?

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Ruth Hempsey
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What if you're helping your little girl find all the beads she spilled under the couch?

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Gypsy Lee
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Someone needs to give him a Kama Sutra book. He'll never be able to leave his closet.

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Wendy Herman
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This guy is not-so-secretly revealing his own hidden thoughts. When I see someone laying on their stomach, I think "hope they're wearing sunscreen". This guy is obviously taking note of their bums instead, repressing all those feelings he was told were "bad" by bigoted parents who taught him to hate himself. The worst bigots are those who yearn for what they openly "hate" instead, so deep is their hypocrisy.

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Jessica J.
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But, given that most women have breasts, and most men do not, sleeping on one's stomach is absolutely easier for those men...unless the man has a large abdominal area...and I think I may have just described the individual above. If he can't do something, it must be effeminate.

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Nikolai Buscho
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Like laying prone in a firing position? Do soldiers are all homosexual now? Makes sense, the military has been historically woke.

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Jane Cortez
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Look at his at his fake tanned face with his ridiculously bouffant and not naturally obtained artificial blond coiffure rearing up in his puny man rage indignation. Must be compensating for something? Perhaps a far below average emotional intelligence effOrt in TRYING to sound masculine in order to divert from his plasticized odious self?

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Himory TheDreamer
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it's very painful regardless of gender, Idk why anyone would do that.

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Imtryingmybest
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How an “alpha male“ thinks; alright it’s time to go say things are gay… what have I missed? Oh I know *posts on twitter* BREATHING IS NOW GAY!

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Sarah Murphy
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ladies a grown man laying on the floor on his stomach reading a book, or playing with a pet or child. Homosexual or just yum?

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Ansgar
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How low does your self esteem have to b- no, don't answer that.

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Einar Kramer
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok. I guess I’ll just ignore my sleep apnea that only kicks in when I’m on my back. Looking forward to the brain damage!

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Louie
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So what are you supposed to do when you’ve had surgery on your back? Sleep standing up of course, like a real man!!

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Shoe
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you lay on your side are you bi? I'm so confused.

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WindySwede
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How about breathing??? I Need to know! (Holding my breath!) /S!

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Jack Holt
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Imagine being so scared of gay sex that you can't even move your body into a comfortable position. Wow

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Gustav Gallifrey
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1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

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---
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a feeling this is funny satire (laying on your stomach - gay sex position) . One can only hope

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To gain more insight on the topic from an expert, we reached out to Dr. Jesse Matthews, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist based in Chester Springs, PA. According to him, ideas about masculinity have become quite polarized in our society.

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"As masculinity has moved away from the 'manly man' or 'tough guy' definitions, many people have not only clung to these stereotypes, but they have made them more extreme," Dr. Matthews told Bored Panda. This usually stems from people rejecting the changing views, and "social media in particular creates echo chambers for this, with various influencers carrying the flags for those who identify with their views."

While we all bear different perspectives on the world around us, masculinity especially can be a very deep rabbit hole with a variety of different viewpoints. But Dr. Matthews raised an important question: why do these ideas matter so much to people?

"Obviously, it’s part of life for any guy or anyone who identifies with masculinity, but the obsession with being a 'real man' is more based in insecurity. The person essentially needs to ensure that they present a masculine enough identity to avoid judgment or being called out as not masculine by other guys," the psychologist explained.

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Men who are insecure about their manliness exhibit behavior that is often exaggerated and even caricature-like. But Dr. Matthews says there’s also irony at play here. "Many of these individuals would tell you that being a real man means just doing your thing and not caring about what anyone thinks about it. However, one can’t simultaneously obsess over portraying an ultramasculine image, yet claim to be unconcerned about judgment. It just doesn’t compute."

Hypermasculinity — or toxic masculinity as it’s usually called — is also based on the false belief that masculinity needs to be saved, Dr. Matthews argued. "In the same way that some people seem to be afraid that racism or homophobia might one day die out. So they embrace stereotypes, or how they think things 'should' be or were in 'the good old days.'"

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Helena
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, so a man drinking a fruity drink sounds like a great way to filter out super shallow people. Drink up men, the fruity drinks are the best.

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But putting men (half of the world’s population!) in a box can seriously harm their well-being. "It’s limiting at best, and at worst it leads people to play into these stereotypes." For example, hypermasculinity often makes people act in ways "that are sexist or homophobic, or at least not challenging others on this kind of behavior."

"It also has the power to create toxic environments, uncomfortable for women or men viewed as not masculine, and of course to lead to situations involving sexual assault," Dr. Matthews continued. "As well, if these men carry on these thoughts and behaviors through adulthood, they may pass them down to their children or other young people they come into contact with, like kids they are teaching, coaching, and so on."

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), instilling elements of traditional masculinity into men and boys can be psychologically harmful, as it has been shown to limit their development, constrain their behavior, and result in gender role conflict. What’s more, it can negatively influence their mental and physical health.

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Raccoon panda
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This screams red flag all over. Anyone under that height is usually underage (with the exception of naturally petite women).

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Kelli Pike
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And men wonder why we women have a tendency to come off as cold, closed-off, and wary with men we dont know. Obviously, even the men we DO think we know can be a danger to us.

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For men who try to seek out their identity and find a healthy relationship with their inner guy, these societal pressures and expectations can be especially burdensome. "It can be hard for people to stand out or to be seen as going against those around them. For example, a male raised in a family or in a community with traditional masculine stereotypes may find it hard to explore or adopt a less stereotyped identity," Dr. Matthews said, adding the person is likely to be criticized, punished, or excluded for it.

Unfortunately, most people who are raised in stereotyped environments tend to internalize those behavior patterns. Psychologist Matthews explained this happens because they don’t know anything else and it feels right to them, or they feel pressure to fit in.

"This can mean demonstrating extreme or toxic masculinity, as not only could one fit in that way, but he could be praised or more highly valued in the group for it." And, alarmingly, "in places like prisons where this applies, it could actually help you to survive."

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Helena
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Only the most insecure men use words like alpha and beta males. Do they not realize how it makes them sound?

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Extreme views like the painfully ridiculous ones featured on 'Hot Masculinity Takes' are rarely a positive thing. But as the modern world now teaches us, the subject matter is much less black-and-white.

"Masculinity is not simply the opposite of femininity, just as it is not synonymous with heterosexuality," Dr. Matthews noted. "Many people today see being masculine as being calm and controlled vs angry and reactive, being a good problem solver rather than one who relies on brute force to solve everything, or standing up for other people or what’s right vs trying to control or overpower others."

What people see as healthy masculinity may differ, but generally, we can all foster it by not judging other people. "This means not being worried about what other men are doing and giving people the space to be themselves," Dr. Matthews added. "We can all do what we want to do and believe what we want to believe. Masculinity isn’t going anywhere, so people don’t need to try to be the protectors of it or to act in stereotyped ways to let people know they exist."

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Jen Hart
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mmm, yes, let's never stop living with perpetual brutality, chaos, and death.

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Emanual Henry
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

High blood pressure, obesity, high blood sugar, malnutrition, but I can't think of any real reasons.

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Many men in Dr. Matthews’s practice have never gone to therapy before, and some wouldn't even be expected to be found in a psychologist’s office at first glance. But they are sure glad they did. "This idea of what it really means to be a man and the positive and negative ways in which they have lived this is a frequent topic of conversation."

"I would encourage anyone concerned with issues of identity, including ideas about masculinity, to start reflecting on it in some kind of organized way. Don’t just watch videos by your favorite IG or Tik Tok influencers, but start journaling, reading books, or going and seeing a therapist. It really can change your life," Dr. Matthews concluded.

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Helena
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Picturing this guy putting together flat-pack furniture without instructions ('cause those are for girls) and when his shelf turns into a table, he just throws it through the wall. Because bro

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Kelli Pike
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

BREAKING NEWS: WORK COLLEAGUES OFTEN ENGAGE AS FRIENDS WITH EACH OTHER. MORE ON THIS AT 11.

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Amber.exe (She/They)
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Say you're insecure about your masculinity without saying you're insecure about your masculinity

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Jen Hart
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

James Butler is a septic tank guy on TikTok and YouTube who has a 'manly' job, but also decent general advice about being a boss of a company. It's not all dancing and "challenges" on TikTok.

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Helena
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone else think that the whole alpha, beta, sigma whatever is just dude bro astrology?

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