Kevin the Manager

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Kevin the Manager

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5 posts

3K comments

3.2K upvotes

10.2K points

I love throwing pottery, drum circles, brewing exotic tea, and driving my 1921 Leyat Helica around town, spewing profanity-laden hip-hop with the windows down. On the weekends when I am not bandaging the proverbial wounds of emotionally abused chinchillas, I play lawn darts with my fellow piscopaleans in front of my neighbor's house. My idea of a good time? Chillin' with my crew, discussing the decay of Western society, eating BonChon chicken and swillin' cans of Prickly Pear & Lychee Weisse-Style ale from Bizarre Brewing.

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My Pandas

Kevin the Manager • commented on 26 posts 1 year ago

@Apatheist Account2 They more than likely can, but some jokes are even better punctuated very specifically by a well-placed cuss word. The REAL shame here is that YOU allow yourself to be pigeon-holed into only accepting humor YOU approve of. Think of all the awesome jokes you're missing!

Wait, wait, wait! You misunderstand! It's the visible outline of the fella that got eaten! If yer Jewish, you'd also be able to see that the foreskin was missing due to the tightness of the snake body against the person. Not racist, just a silly observation! C'mon, ya'll, gimme another chance!

This IG Account Collects The Best Tumblr Posts And Here Are 50 Of The Funniest Ones

One question: How in the actual fu*k can I get an invite to that brunch? I know how to make BOMB corned beef hash (with actual corned beef), and I would be happy to make an entire bushel of the stuff if it meant an invite would be forthcoming! I need that group's energy STAT!

This IG Account Collects The Best Tumblr Posts And Here Are 50 Of The Funniest Ones

"bUt tHE sHeEP NEed tHeiR wOoL oR tHey wILL dIe..."

This IG Account Collects The Best Tumblr Posts And Here Are 50 Of The Funniest Ones

I hate to be a stickler, but I feel like it should be, "You can't boil without water in your kettle," since you can, in fact, boil a kettle. Given enough heat, you could reduce a kettle to a puddle of boiling metal, and while not great for tea, it would be pretty fun to play with. Just a thought, feel free to tell me to shove it!

This IG Account Collects The Best Tumblr Posts And Here Are 50 Of The Funniest Ones

For these reasons, I have memorized the script as follows: "Hi! My name is Kevin, and I enjoy long walks on extremely short beaches, justice served hot, and competitive string-bean growing. To get to know me better, all you have to do is take a screenshot of a Post-It note that you have put your phone number on in ancient Japanese caligraphy, which I will then repost on TikTok before dialing your digits with my pinky using a rotary phone, an extremely dry martini in my other hand, a rare Bulgarian-Romanian-Estonian mud mask on my face. Too much for you? Then we probably won't get along at all, and you should swipe left. P. E. A. C. E." Regurgitating this script gets rid of all potential for pointless interaction, since making it through all of that and then STILL wanting to know me means we already are on the same wavelength. Try it for yourself! Cheers! 🍻🥂

This IG Account Collects The Best Tumblr Posts And Here Are 50 Of The Funniest Ones

Those Australians might be crying, but their tears travel down their faces from east to west, unlike my American tears which travel west to east...

This IG Account Collects The Best Tumblr Posts And Here Are 50 Of The Funniest Ones

Turns out that I can read "bird-beak-speak" and what that Tiny Hawk is telling you is the following: "When performing a hard-flip, be sure that you don't put too much pressure on your back foot, or the flip will rotate too far you'll land on the truck, total trick-system failure to the MAX." I would listen to that bird, as he knows what he's talking about!

This IG Account Collects The Best Tumblr Posts And Here Are 50 Of The Funniest Ones

Wow, it hit me in all the feels to realize that if I had been fortunate enough to have a knucke-dusting hero sister in my life like this one that I would have had a much happier, healthier life, including “adulting” time. I was (and I am once again, thankfully) a Chester. I cry very easily. Reading about Chester and his scrappy sister made me cry TODAY, because I realized that I needed a person like her in my young life. Society taught me as a young kid that I COULD NOT cry without having serious sanctions leveled against me, ergo I stopped feeling ANYTHING as best I could. I got very good at it, and once I was an adult and could have USED the ability to feel all the feels that life tosses at us, I found it had become impossible to "get through" my barriers. I'm 46-and-a-half and am FINALLY able to cry openly. Thank you, punchy sister, for protecting your brothers!

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Kevin the Manager • upvoted 13 items 1 year ago

Brain Wonderful Comics: Bizarre Humor With A Dark Twist

50 Buildings Repurposed In Such Cool Ways, We Just Had To Share Them With You (New Pics)

St. Liborious in St. Louis, MO. The building is listed as City Landmark and Historical Building, despite being barely 150 years old and not especially significant architecture-wise. It was abandoned years ago, turned into a homeless shelter and then sold to a real estate company. The company didn't have much to do with the space, and leased it to a group of locals to be turned into a skate park. After ten years of lacking maintenance and utter lack of funds, the church and its nearby buildings burned in a fire on June 29, 2023. The fire started from leftover paint and solvents from an "art project" (i.e. graffiti), burned through the roof and interiors, leaving just the walls and the tower standing.

Brain Wonderful Comics: Bizarre Humor With A Dark Twist

This is, %100, a set up to get bookstore girl to date pro book boy. I have been a wingman for a great many of these scenarios. Once I even threw half a glass of ice water in my best friends face and hollered "you said you were a cat person!!!?" Before storming out of the bar, just so he could get a phone number from a woman with two golden retrievers. All's fair, in love and scamming.

So veganism is about the animals, not the environment. There is a long list of environmental reasons to avoid animal husbandry as well, but they're not directly the rationale for veganism. Secondly, there are a ton of non-plastic natural fibres, from cotton to bamboo, linen etc, even vegan leather made from mushrooms! Incredible advances. Furthermore, you don't have to search too hard to find examples of animal abuse in the wool industry. Maybe know what you're talking about before calling caring people idiots.

This IG Account Collects The Best Tumblr Posts And Here Are 50 Of The Funniest Ones

Because people who pay to make the movies think they will only make money by making movies just like other successful movies.

Show All 13 Upvotes

Kevin the Manager • submitted a list addition 1 year ago

Hey Pandas, What’s The Most Awkward Match You’ve Ever Had On A Dating App? (Closed)

Kevin the Manager • submitted 5 new posts 2 years ago

Hey Pandas, How Do You Know Your Family Dynamic Is Dysfunctional?

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Kevin the Manager • submitted 20 list additions 1 year ago

30 Times ‘Obvious Plant’ Left Fake Items In Stores And Created Hilarious Chaos (New Pics)

Kevin the Manager • upvoted 19 items 1 year ago

Brain Wonderful Comics: Bizarre Humor With A Dark Twist

This Book Store Was Built Inside An Abandoned Theater

Local Mexican Restaurant Used To Be A Chinese Restaurant. Instead Of Painting Over A Mural, They Just Put Sombreros On The Pandas

Abandoned Church Transformed By Skaters Into Something Straight Out Of A Video Game

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An Old Bank Is Now A Bookstore In Bucharest, Romania

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Kevin the Manager

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