My church uses the King James Bible because that’s the one Jesus used.

"I don't want a raise because it would put me in a higher tax bracket".

I had a coworker who believed that if you cancelled a credit card, you didn’t have to pay it anymore.

She told me she had this great plan, she was going to buy a new flatscreen TV and a new couch and a bunch of other furniture and then “I’ll just cancel the card and I’ll get it all for free!”.

An angry tourist off a cruise ship barging around a shop in Mexico: “Doesn’t anyone speak American here??!” This person did not even know the name of her own language, much less how rude and ignorant it was to demand that others in a different country speak it.

"January 6th was a tour of the Capitol " - FOX News.

A week before the 2020 presidential election: “You will see, the next day after the election covid will disappear. They made it up to make Trump look bad”. It came from a 40-year-old woman with a college degree.

My grandmother told me, "If he doesn't hit you, then he doesn't love you."