Well. I can say from it happening to me, learning your child is not your child is pretty much the worst news you can get

My story: We suffered from fertility issues and did all the treatments for months, and after many inseminations she was pregnant…. And she starts acting very odd about many things out of nowhere that I chalked up to her hormones. But still very odd behavior

We have a baby boy. Healthy and all seems well with him but she’s acting odd still.

Over the next 5 years she works endlessly to keep a wedge between my boy and I. As if our forming a relationship is a bad thing.

We separate over many problems. And then I get the news from her : he’s not your boy and she requests dna as part of the divorce action. And it’s confined I’m not the father and it’s a friend of mine., who now wants to be with her and their child. I was ordered to stay away from their kid as a minor and no obligation for child support

In a blink: 5 years of life, memories, being called dad and my main man are gone. I have no legal rights and I have to stay away or else

The first few years I just drank ALOT to hide the pain. Holidays sucked, everything sucked until one day I had enough and got a really good therapist to talk to

Several years later; I consider myself lucky to have been a dad and I’ll always miss my boy and pray for him every day to have a great life. I also talk with others who are having a bad day with their kids to say to them: you should cherish each second as it can suddenly vanish one day without you knowing or say

The pain will never go away, it just becomes tolerable when it comes to holidays. You learn to smile at the little things and laugh looking back at those times

I hope for my ex. She finds the peace she was looking for and provides my boy a great life.

Not a man, never been in this situation, but I am the child of one of these situations so I thought I'd chime in.

**TL;DR:** Mom stayed with her husband at first and he is legally my father, but my dad decided he wanted to stay in the picture so my mom eventually married him and I have two dads.

My mom got married when she was 17 and had three sons with her first husband, I'm going to call him Ben. They were together for a long time, I think about 18 years total. Somewhere along the way she realized she was caught in a loveless marriage but couldn't really do anything about it. My dad, who I'll call Dave, moved in across the street and the two of them started spending time together, and she started an affair with him. They weren't careful enough, and next thing you know my mom is pregnant with me.

She knew from the get-go I wasn't Ben's, and he kind of had an idea too because they weren't intimate that often and the math didn't work out, but I think he went along with it just because he didn't want to think about what she was doing behind his back. My dad initially didn't want to have anything to do with me, so when I was born, they put down her husband's name on my birth certificate as the father and called it a day. Paternity tests were done, though, and my mom confirmed what she already knew.

Sorry, around here my details get a little fuzzy because my mom still hasn't given me a full and complete story. Dave still definitely didn't want to stick with my mom and I and it was just agreed that Ben would raise me as his and they would forget it happened. He was and is a great guy and an awesome dad.

Now, the way I've heard it is Dave, despite his convictions, couldn't stay away because he loved my mom so much and once he laid eyes on me he was head over heels. Some of my earliest memories are going to visit him in his apartment. At some point between the time I was 2 and the time I was 3, my mom and Ben divorced. I don't remember it and was kept largely out of it, but I understand it was very messy. Because I was legally Ben's daughter, I got the same visitations as my other brothers who were still under 18. My mom and Dave married when I was four, and Dave was never happy about these visits, but I was because I loved Ben so much. Ben was always "Daddy," Dave was "Dad." It was understood and I never confused the two or made reference to one being my parent in front of the other, even as a 4 and 5 year old I knew the sensitive nature of the situation.

It was never confusing, either, because they really are two very different people who I think provided me with a great balance of paternal figures in my life. Like I said, Ben was always "Daddy." Sweet, endearing, with a heart of gold who just wanted his little girl to be happy and would spoil her rotten to see her smile and make stupid jokes to get a giggle out of her. Dave was "Dad." Still kind and loved me to death, but more of the disciplinarian who I knew not to mess with. My mom's not married to either of them now (another long-winded story entirely) but I consider both of them to be my father and I consider both of them to have done the best job they could have, and I think I turned out alright.

My brother found out around the time his daughter was 7 or 8. He never told anybody but me and his current wife. She still thinks she's his and he payed every penny of child support until she was 18 even though she lived with him the entire time. My brother is the man I wish i was ethically.

Not my story, but I feel it should be told in light of all the horrible stories in this thread.

I know a guy who found out his daughter was not his biologically (after raising her for a few years).

He used that as proof in court that the mother was not trustyworth and unfit to be a mother in order to get full custody. He loves her and she is his daughter, not by blood but he is definetly the father and loves her very much.

I was with someone for five years, and during the time we had our issues. Being in a relationship together from the ages of 17-22, we of course had our "off to live life" moments. Well, her and I were giving it our last try. A week after the deed, I noticed the signs of pregnancy and told her to get a test. It was positive. However, she then let me know that before we started to get back together she had been trying to start a family with another man. My father, who had raised my half brother and I so alike that we never knew he wasn't my brother's bio dad, had set an example for me that family is the most important thing in life. So I accepted the fact that I could be a dad, and I was willing to do everything I could do.

After nine months of trying to be there for her while she bounced between the other man and I, her doctor had "advised" her that I was most likely the father of the child. So I became the prominent father to everyone in her life at this point. I was overwhelmed with joy that I would become a father, and I could try to be the best I could be.

A month after the baby was born she wanted to clarify who the father of the baby was, so we took a test. I was holding the child in my arms when I received the email. I looked at the "0%" on the bottom of the results. Devastated, I showed it to her. She replied with "Well, I should tell the other guy". Her mom and I insisted on raising the child without telling him, he had a terrible [dependency on illegal substances], but her idea of a perfect family was both biological parents. So that was the last day I had a daughter.

I went through two terribly depressing years. She would wave the child in my face when she wanted attention and things never worked out between us after that. I always felt like I had done something wrong and that I let the child down. I had to constantly remind myself that even if I felt like she was my child, she wasn't and nothing could ever give that back to me. I'm getting through it with the help of a wonderful new girlfriend and incredible friends, but when a man makes a connection with a child it's the strongest love they will ever feel.

Sorry for the long post, I'm not able to really talk to anyone about this. So it's sat on my heart for two years. Thanks to anyone who reads this.

Was told he was mine. Raised him for 8yrs before getting my own paternity test done to find out the truth. I changed his diapers, taught him how to ride his bike, basic dad stuff before i knew the truth. You can't un-love a kid. I'm his dad, and he's my son. I wouldn't have it any other way. I despise his manipulative, lying mother. I think she holds him back.

My daughter isn't mine. My now ex-wife knows, I know, our daughter is little and doesn't know. The real father doesn't want anything to do with her. In my mind she'll always be my daughter. I'll raise her and care for her, not because I have to, but because she deserves the love of a father as much as anyone else. My ex-wife I don't wish ill upon, when I let her go I let all that anger go too. I'm just happy to have this little girl in my life.

I have a mixed race child. Originally was told it was mine until she actually gave birth. Since she was mixed, she came out pretty light skinned. Very light skinned, actually. But as she got older, her skin got darker and darker. Let the mother stick around for about a year to 2 years. She wasn't from where we were living and didn't have anywhere else to go. Didn't want to kick baby out into the streets. Finally, I had enough of her crazy and kicked her out. But, I ended up getting attached to the little girl.

Fast forward 2 years and I'm single, lonely, depressed and missing the little girl. I've had no contact with them. Through the grapevine, I hear my little girls real dad has nothing to do with her. No contact, no father. From the story I get, the real dad was married and refused her.

I set up a meeting with my little girl after two years to get a feeling on the situation and it was like those two years never happened. She ran up to me like she just saw me yesterday. I talked to the mother and I said that I'll take care of her. We never went to court. No child support has ever been filed. We don't fight about anything. I tell her if she needs anything as far as money or clothes, whatever, I'll take care of it.

She's now 10, I'm married, my wife accepts her with open arms and loves her like I do. She's an awesome kid. Great student. No troubles. I have to teach her a bit of humility because all she concerned about is being beautiful. But if that's my biggest worry with her, I think that's ok. I wouldn't change anything at all.

I will tell you one thing. I live in the south and you would think that a married white couple with 2 normal white kids and an older mixed girl, one would think you'd get more looks from white folks. Surprisingly, it's the black folks that gives us more "WTH?" looks than anything. But like I said, I wouldn't trade her for anything. I love that silly girl.