‘Murdered By Words’: 50 Epic Comebacks That Immediately Put Jerks In Their Place (New Pics)
Welcome to the internet, a place to find like-minded people no matter what your background is. Sounds fun, right? Sadly, it can become quite toxic. And we're the ones to blame for it. Racism, misogyny, classism; all of society's wounds fester online just as much as they do in real life.
However, being insulting and mean often comes right back to bite you. Amongst the most impressive ways to fight internet trolls is by using the epic art of the comeback. Fierce, well-constructed, and piercingly accurate arguments end up in the subreddit called Murdered By Words. This community with over 2.6M members is the place where verbal assassins cut right through the BS and share some of the best burns.
When you’re done scrolling through this list, you’ll find some more inspiration for savage comebacks by checking out Bored Panda’s previous posts on the subreddit here, here, and here.
This post may include affiliate links.
F***ing Dumb Is An Understatement
A while back, Bored Panda talked to the mods of r/MurderedByWords who said that "a murder should (but doesn't always have to) be more than a quick response or retort. The best murders are well-constructed, thought-out responses that leave the opening argument completely without any ability to reply.“
And there's more than one way to crush your opponent verbally. A burn or “a quick rapier thrust or stab to the heart (a short, swift reply) can be just as deadly as a drawn-out murder, and you'll frequently see both types in this sub," the moderator explained. And as you can guess, put-downs shared in this group might be some of the most enjoyable one-liners in human history.
But when you end up in the middle of a heated argument, emotions can take over. Especially if the person you're disagreeing with is sticking to an opinion that's just nonsense. So having in mind the rise in the number of flat earthers and anti-vaxxers, staying civil on the internet these past years can seem like an impossible task.
Satanists Just Don't Acknowledge Religions
what do you mean by accurate sorry im just curious about all the people who hat eorganized religon for some reason were not all that bad. the reason we dont like abortion is because its goes agaisnt our religon and thats fine i just dont get the people who get mad at people who get a abortion wehnt ehir not christians
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Anyone curious about The Church of Satan and modern day Satanism in America, I'd highly recommend you watch the documentary, "Hail Satan?!" Very interesting and quite hilarious. Satanists love trolling Christians.
I mean, they're not wrong. We do believe that Satan is real.
Right, there's a difference in believing in the existence of, and worshiping
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Maybe you don't. But most Christian's do so much evil in the name of their God. If that's not worshipping Satan... Never mind, it is.
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As a Christian (NOT a Catholic) I think it’s funny when people have some good old fashioned fun like this.
As a Christian, I find "The Church of Satan" ... *bleeping* hilarious. There's a pun here about how often they roast people, but I'm not the one to make it, lol.
Honestly considering joining the Satanic Church, not because i care about the satanic stuff, I just love how the people in that church LOVE screwing with people, brings joy to my day. Good folks.
Holy f**k I love this. I'm going to see if this place is open hang on-
This true Christians are now cultists from every h.p. Love craft inspired game EVER
Satanism is a religion (more of an anti-religion id say) in which instead of believing in a literal Satan they use him as a symbol of freedom and being able to control your own life while still being kind to others. Atheists don’t believe in god and don’t associate themselves with a religion.
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Shouldn't satanists consider changing their literal name then? Bit misleading no?
But they did that on purpose so only people who can overlook and really learn about the religion would join
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The Church of Satan has always been and will always be such a great account istg
And according to Christians. If you don't believe their beliefs, then you worship Satan. I think God was/is an alien and his two sidekicks are Jesus and Satan
You should read the 'commandments' for the Church of Satan .... they're all about being willing to help others, treat ppl w/kindness, etc. They're not the issue, you Christians are, hands down.
We don't believe Satan is our savior but we believe he exists. Even Satan believes in Jesus.
11 SATANIC RULES OF EARTH 1. Don't give opinions or advice unless you're asked. 2. Don't tell your troubles to others unless you're Sure they want to hear them. 3. When in another's lair, show him respect or else do not go there. 4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly & without mercy. 5. DO NOT MAKE SEXUAL ADVANCES UNLESS YOU ARE GIVEN THE MATING SIGNAL. 6. Don't take that which doesn't belong to you unless it's a burden to the other person & he cries out to be relieved. 7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, You will lose all you
I accidentally hit "post" while I was typing n it f****d everything up. Lol. N idk why it says & instead of just posting the ampersand.. but yeah. Obviously y'all know what that means.
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Bc Satanists don't believe in Satan. Christians do believe in Satan.
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And while ruthless put-downs seem entertaining in the online world, other principles apply when you're arguing with someone in real life. To find out more about how to deal with those who mock you, Bored Panda reached out to Neel Burton, M.D., a psychiatrist, philosopher and author of Heaven and Hell: The Psychology of the Emotions.
Burton is doubtful that throwing put-downs to the mockers actually make us feel better. "Someone who's insulting you is already in a weak position—or why would they be insulting you—so it would be unkind to shatter them completely. If you respond with compassionate silence, the message will be both stronger and kinder,“ he advised.
Murdered And Exposed And Torn Asunder...
Deserved It
what did she expect in a gender neutral bathroom? men lining up and waiting for her until she finishes using the bathroom?
Clinical psychotherapist Eva Jajonie agrees with this line of thinking, and offers this explanation as to why the desire to offend someone is a sign of vulnerability: "When suppressed concerns and feelings, such as lack of self-esteem; self-defeating thoughts and behaviors; guilt; and anger, for example, are not treated or dealt with, the person uses insults to unleash anger, to escape dealing with the pain or trauma experienced.”
See Ya, Wouldn't Wanna Be Ya
Hey America! Can you feel the burn of the Australian Sun hitting you?
Say Her Name
Now that we know someone who is taking a cheap shot at you isn't that much of a threat, another thing to consider is status. According to Burton, we should try to keep our integrity: "If you engage the insulter on their own level, you are bringing yourself down and giving their insult far too much legitimacy.“ Staying levelheaded during an argument is not easy, but can be learned with practice. Like, try to notice when the adrenaline starts kicking in stopping it. Or take some deep breaths to remain calm, whatever method works for you.
What Did You Do?
Science Is Hard
Pot, Meet Kettle
But when you hear ignorant slurs, it's often difficult to just stand by. Here's where using humor can be extremely effective. "A good comeback is one that the insulter can also laugh at. It should not be too devastating. Ideally, it should be tangential, maybe even absurd,“ Burton explained. If your reply is funny, well-timed and well delivered, it can diffuse the tension of the situation and undercut the mockery.
The Call Is Coming From Inside The House
As a Non-American, I am still struggling hard to understand why everything that even remotely resembles a working social system is condsidered communism... It works in nearly every other country, with such side effects as keeping criminality low, eliminating the need for guns, raising the statistical life expectancy.
It's So Obvious And They Still Miss It
Got Sonned
To make the web a kinder and safer place, do an ethical 'gut test' before sharing, commenting, or posting. Just remember, the Murdered By Words community is always watching and no insults or cruel comments get past their sharp eyes.
How’s That Racism?
Shoot Like A Girl
"Bean-bag shaped mayonnaise-filled men" let that sink in for a minute. 🤣
I Will Leave This Kind Of Debate To You People
no genuinely nice, good person will care. the negative comments will come from jerks
"You Have Your Quiver On Backwards"
There Is Nothing Inherently Great About Any Country
are you serious? its not like people go "huh I think I want to be born in a terrible country, try to escape, but end up locked up instead. yes that sounds like a perfect life"
Cognitive Dissonance (He Left Me On Seen Btw)
Some People Really Need To Stop Thinking About A Damn Rock
Reading Is For Suckers
When You Come For Brazil But Forget You Live In The Us
I wouldn't be surprised if they made the kids move classes just to get some energy out of their system...
What Weighs More, A Pound Of Feathers Or A Pound Of Iron?
Nonni From The Top Rope
Response About A Record Number Of Concert Attendees
Just Work Harder!
Had an entire conversation with a coworker about this. He's very convinced if he lost everything tomorrow, he'd be back to fine within a year. I countered with, so you'd just go out and get another job huh? Where are you going to shower? Where are you going to sleep? What are you going to eat? How would you get to that job? What clothes do you think you'll be wearing to that job?
Don't Forget To Recycle
Same Same, But Different
They don't like it when their logic is being used against them! They're always "yes, but..."
Embarrassing, Indeed
Shame On You, Crayola!
I fully understand how offensive the "n-word" is in the USA (for historical reasons and all), but Americans also need to understand that in other countries/cultures/languages it is not considered an offensive word (or it's just mildly offensive). It's unrealistic to expect everyone in the world to follow your cultural norms.
Parental Disparages
Accurate. In the U.S., studies show that Black and white people use drugs at roughly the same rates, but Black people are 2-11 times more likely to be arrested for it, depending on the state. If you live in a state that has legalized marijuana but hasn't committed to reevaluating the sentences for people in prison for marijuana-related convictions, I hope you call your politicians and speak out.
I Don’t Know If That Counts
The Misspell Just Perfects It
Lovely Trisha (31) enjoys barbeques, monster truck rally, and incest...
Arrivederci Amore Mio
Don't Disrespect Tom Hanks
Alabama Would Like To Have A Word
Is this idiot trying to draw a comparison from forced child marriage to equal marriage rights between two consenting adults? I just can't deal with that level of stupid. Even if that was what was in the picture, the comparison is just so very absurd.
Dude Just Roasted The Entire Human Race
Anti-Birth Control And Probably Anti-Abortion Mbw
my birth control are pretty great for my health though :D good skin, easy periods and less stress is good for both mental and physical wellbeing
Quitting 101
Nyt Reporter Has A Basic Question For Minnesota's Rollout Of "Not-Reaching Pouches," A Bold New Innovation In Hoping Cops Don't Shoot You!
Killed A Guy And One Country In A Single Sentence
Dude Wants “Young Woman To Help Rule His Kingdom”
Why would any young woman want to help you run your imaginary ‘kingdom’?
Let's Get The Ignorant Ones To Write Policies
Myabe if he'd been around when his kids were babies he would know what is involved with having one.
Is That More Of An Oops Or A Whoops?
Dolphins Are Intelligent Animals
Gender is how you feel in your soul. Heck, if in your soul, you feel you are a dolphin and every day you want to commit to being a dolphin, be seen as a dolphin, and be treated as a dolphin, go for it buddy. I expect you'll quickly realize gender isn't a game and it's more complicated than you thought.
You Tell Him!
People like that will never admit to be in the wrong. They are always the victim, even when they exert violence on someone else (Says "See what you made me do!?" while beating up someone)
Can't Find Anyone To Hire
Sorry but just because you have a business doesn't mean the world owes you employees.
Anti-Vax Takedown On Nextdoor
Fact Checking Has Become A Bloodsport...
The company i work for has 240,000 employees and said "you don't get vaccinated by Nov 18th, you're fired" and i think that is wonderful.
And As His Second And Third Too
Opposite Gender
At A Loss For Words On This One
Homeless Doesn't Mean Without A Home, Apparently!
From What I've Heard, Target Is Not A Good Place To Work
It's Literally In The Name
Reddit Itself Doing Its Part
Tearing People Down Instead Of Building Them Up
Uno Reverse Card
My sister tried to do this with washing the dishes, but mom was smart and just made her wash them again.
Work Is More Important Than Family
No Sign Of Intelligent Life Anywhere
Some Things You Just Can’t Recover From
Tolkien Says Stfu
My Favorite Antivax Poem
Why are so many people comparing it to nazis??? in the history I learned they murdered people not vaccinated them against disease 😳
Attention Is A Hell Of A Drug
Plus you would only have succeeded to make life more difficult to a minimum wage worker, not teaching a life lesson to Sainsbury's CEO, that frankly, couldn't give a rat'ss ass about your opinion.
In A Video About Killing Pigs Mercifully At A Family Farm
That's the kind of life I would love to live one day. Being self sufficient, growing and raising my own food. I personally couldn't do the killing myself though. I would hire someone to do it or hubby can.
Use Of Casual English = Illiterate
It doesn't make sense. Language is for communication so clarity is key.
So Much Wrong Here, Where To Begin?
Where I live, it's illegal to discriminate your hiring based on gender. On top of fixing all the red flags in this post, don't be a sexist d**k.
Nabisco Wants You To Know They Care More About Your Cookie Dipping Habits Than Their Workers…
Own The Libs By Staying At Home
I mean, if you want to commit to extreme social distancing and zero human connection until COVID is eliminated, I suppose that is a choice. I'm not sure it's possible. But if you have absolutely no human interaction, I think I'm okay with you, alone in your cabin, not being vaccinated. You have no chance of catching the virus or passing it on.
You Can Be Whatever You Want On The Internet
A Real Speedster
Society If It Was Run By Girls And Gays
Redirection At Its Finest
Ea Asks Users To Tell Them What Makes Them A Simmer, Gets A Brutally Honest Answer
Thats Is A Great Goal
Never Will Forget This One
Doc Got No Chill
The one with Crayola made me remember of a Buzzfeed video where Americans, I think, were comparing American and Canadian food or things. When they learned our whole milk is called homo milk they immediately thought it was a reference to homosexuals and being offensive. Homo is short for homogenized. Meanwhile, Canada legalized guy marriage before the US. But that's long old news now.
Why would anyone make offensive milk? 🤣 Wait 'til they hear about homo sapiens
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Curious as to why the word “raping” was redacted. It’s a crime not a vulgar slur. Would you redact the word “murder”?
Because apparently it's a "taboo subject" that shouldn't be talked about... Which is stupid as hell, as that discourages victims from ever speaking up!
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US is bad because of Trump. Who would be Hitler if we let him. And almost did.
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I mean, the USA does royally suck right now and it's about time we step up and realize how badly we need to change.
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that's because America is doing a lot of bad/stupid things right now...
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The one with Crayola made me remember of a Buzzfeed video where Americans, I think, were comparing American and Canadian food or things. When they learned our whole milk is called homo milk they immediately thought it was a reference to homosexuals and being offensive. Homo is short for homogenized. Meanwhile, Canada legalized guy marriage before the US. But that's long old news now.
Why would anyone make offensive milk? 🤣 Wait 'til they hear about homo sapiens
Load More Replies... Curious as to why the word “raping” was redacted. It’s a crime not a vulgar slur. Would you redact the word “murder”?
Because apparently it's a "taboo subject" that shouldn't be talked about... Which is stupid as hell, as that discourages victims from ever speaking up!
Load More Replies... US is bad because of Trump. Who would be Hitler if we let him. And almost did.
Load More Replies... I mean, the USA does royally suck right now and it's about time we step up and realize how badly we need to change.
Load More Replies... that's because America is doing a lot of bad/stupid things right now...
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