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“I Feel Deeply Ashamed”: 40 Secrets People Would Rather Take To The Grave Than Confess To Partners
Everyone lies and keeps secrets from others to some extent, no matter how much they trust them. It’s simply what people do. That being said, there is a huge gap between basic privacy, harmless white lies, and positive secrets versus intentionally hiding truly emotionally devastating facts that could turn your entire relationship upside down.
Today, we’re examining some of the best and worst secrets that internet users have kept from their significant others, as shared in a couple of online threads. These are things they hope their partners will never, ever find out, whether for good or for ill. Scroll down below for their anonymous confessions.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
She broke her brand new laptop's display and told me to get it repaired if it costs under a hundred bucks because she is in the process of moving and therefore doesn't have too much money at the moment. I knew from the start it would cost more. She was so sad and disappointed in herself that she broke it just 2 months after buying it. I wanted to do something about it, but i knew she would never let me pay it for her. So i brought it home, got it repaired for 200 and told her the bill was 80. I normally never lie to her so it feels weird, but she is happy so i'm happy.
Riley Quinn 5 months ago
Random acts of kindness aren't secrets you take to the grave. This is something sweet that you'll be able to share with her when the moment is right.
Bob Brooce 5 months ago
PSA: If you're moderately handy replacing a laptop's display is often fairly easy. It was probably about 10 years ago, but I think I paid about $40 to buy a replacement display and spent about an hour doing the repair, plus perhaps 10 or 20 minutes watching a YT video or two. Thanks to the online video age all sorts of things are now DIY projects if you've got a bit of confidence.
Ace 5 months ago
Warranties don't typically cover accidental damage like this.
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RELATED:
#2
My sophmore year of college my dad changed his mind about helping me go to school (tuition, books, rent, etc.) 3 days before classes started. I was 19 with a part time job and his solution was to just take the money from my savings which, didn't even come close to covering it. I used a connection I had to get a job as a cocktail waitress at a strip club for the next year but I also called up an older, married guy who had been pursing me and used him as a sugar daddy to get on my feet. My SO knows I worked as a cocktail waitress but I can never tell him the rest. I've never really told anyone because even though I found a way to make it when didn't have a lot of choices I'm still not proud of it.
Earonn - 5 months ago
It's a pity that OP is made to believe that the hard work she put into being a s******r and making her sugar daddy happy would be something to be ashamed of. The world is ready to punch on women who work in such industries, but has nothing to say about the customers - let alone her sack of garbage juice of a father.
Megalodon Meg 5 months ago
Not that it matters because s*x work is real work regardless of what you do in the industry but just for the sake of accuracy, she was a waitress not a dancer.
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Grenelda Thurber 5 months ago
Your dad is the one who should have a secret he wouldn't tell anyone. You survived as best you could.
Mark Bayliss 5 months ago
You may not be proud of it but you definitely shouldn’t be ashamed of it.
Riley Quinn 5 months ago
You did what you did to survive without hurting anyone, without stealing or scamming. Take pride in the fact that you had the rug pulled out from under you, but you didn't fail. You got back on your feet in the only way that was possible at that time without taking anyone down.
Lowrider 56 5 months ago
If you're ok with it that's all that matters. If I had to do something like that I wouldnt be telling others about it either.
#3
She is in Italy living abroad for 3 months, so we are doing LDR.
I am keeping a journal where I write a page every day about her (what I love about her, what I think about her, memories we've shared, times I was thinking about her)... She doesn't know, but she does know there is some surprise that she will get... I haven't told her anything about it and I'm really excited
It's really hard to write when we are in an argument (please don't argue over text, it only makes things worse), but it's also really good because it makes me more mindful and requires me to change my perspective of situations constantly.
I love her.
There is a world of difference between privacy and secrecy. According to the Center for Modern Relationships, privacy is your right to have your thoughts, feelings, and experiences that you shouldn’t feel compelled to share with others. “It includes having boundaries around how and when you are accessible, and allows you to have alone time. Privacy is a healthy form or practicing individuality.”
Common examples of healthy privacy include things like having passwords on your phone and computer, personal conversations with your family and friends, separate bank accounts, keeping silent about embarrassing experiences from your past, and having some private time for yourself, separate from your relationship.
#4
I don't really care about coffee that much, but my wife is a coffee freak. I bought an espresso machine, researched on youtube how to barista for newbs, and started making lattes for my wife everyday since it makes her happy. I can't really tell the difference between "good coffee" and "bad coffee" so I'm basically just observing my wife's reactions and following along.
#5
A few years ago I had a full on nervous breakdown and did some really bad s**t.
I didn't hit rock bottom, I went straight through the f****r and entered the seventh circle of hell.
After the event I ended up have 3 years of one to one and group therapy.
My secret is that none of it worked. I'm as scared, lonely and as f****d up as I was before the breakdown, all the group and one to one therapy has done is taught me to hide it better and keep the distress under control.
Everyone thinks I'm happy and never been better..
tresgatos72 5 months ago
Hang in there OP. Find a different therapist if you feel it's not working. Sending hugs.
Agat 5 months ago (edited)
Therapy doesn't work on everybody, unfortunately.
Load More Replies... Maples Dad 5 months ago (edited)
I've struggled with mental health since I was diagnosed with depression 22 years ago. Only now I'm getting help (typical NHS, although better late than never!) My mental health recovery programme started today- a doctor came to my home for an hour! A psychologist will be coming to my home every day at 10am for talking therapy. I actually cannot wait, I'm so excited! For once I can envision a happy future. I hope this person gets the help they need. It's worth it- you only get one shot at life and it's criminal to be living it so low. Good luck.
CatLover 5 months ago
Wow, I’m so sorry it took that long to get help! But I’m glad you finally are and that you’re excited. I can’t say I know how it feels, but I just hope the talking therapy works. I’m no therapist, but if you ever want to just talk, feel free to reach out to me, there’s also a lot of other pandas you can talk to as well. Good luck.
Load More Replies... GalPalAl 5 months ago
There was a point in life where I truly though I might have a nervous breakdown and would stop functioning as a normal person with the amount of events happening in my life at one time. No therapy and no support system intact, I realized I was alone and what good would that do? Nobody is going to pick me up and offer help. You have to really think about what your options are and how many things (not life ending) you can put off until you can get yourself together mentally. It isn't easy to learn to trust yourself when you feel lost. I have one parent who is still alive and has told me many times she "can't" help me when I asked out of desperation and decided I have to do it alone. I do feel your pain
Cailyn B 5 months ago
I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I hope you’re doing better now! Sending hugs 💕
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Timothy Jor 5 months ago
Same went for me with therapists too. When I was about 9-10 I started having panic attacks related to realising what death is, its permanence, the eternal nothingness after, which was followed by severe existential dread. My parents took me to a therapist but I was not able to explain what I felt exactly, and I also saw him as an enemy, because I always was and still am extremely secretive and cautious. I went to 3 therapists in a span of 5 years, nobody could help me even a little, how can you get existential dread and absolute nihilism out of somebody? I worked it out myself to an extent, I still get panic attacks but only 3-4 times a year now, not twice every day like it used to be.
Robin Roper 5 months ago
It's emotional or mental collapse not "nervous breakdown" That term is way out of date.
Riley Quinn 5 months ago (edited)
After decades of being misdiagnosed and prescribed medications for a mental disorder I've never had that put me in a revolving hell of psych units and jail, I have sworn off behavioral health altogether. I live alone, keep to myself, and I'm managing to the best of my ability with PTSD. I wouldn't walk into a therapist's office if I had a gun pointed at my head.
#6
It bugs me that our dog prefers her. If it's the two of us in the lounge, she'll always go lay her head on my girlfriends lap. I bet she keeps snacks in her trousers. That's got to be it.
Salvador Ciappara 5 months ago
I always tell my wife it's the pork chop tied around her neck as to why our puppy loves on her more than me!
Anna Drever 5 months ago
Our cats seem to prefer me but I think a LOT of it is cupboard love. I feed them, so why wouldn’t they love me best? 😀
On the flip side, secrecy is very much intentional. At its core, it involves hiding or withholding information from your significant other because you believe revealing the information could have big consequences. “Secrecy is a toxic relationship behavior that can cause serious harm to the health of your relationship.”
Some examples of secrecy look like this:
- Lying about your finances, debt, or spending habits;
- Making big financial decisions without your partner;
- Lying about your job or career path;
- Hiding the truth of your relationships with friends, colleagues, and ex-partners;
- Hiding addictions;
- Flirting with other people (unless this is something you’ve agreed to do with your partner);
- Hiding parts of your health history that might impact your partner.
#7
I secretly love when he has to travel for work.
Not because I like him being gone, but because those 1-2 days apart gives us both a chance to reset and love each other that much more when he gets back. And the kids listen better when it's just me.
Judy Reynolds 5 months ago
Husband has been WFH since Covid, and I really want a couple of days of having the house to myself. He thinks a couple of hours is enough for me.
Megalodon Meg 5 months ago
Please actively but calmly and kindly voice these needs to him. It's absolutely healthy and okay for you to need me time and he needs to respect that and actually have some him time too. Good luck ☺️
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BookFanatic 5 months ago
Pretty sure the reason an ex and I lasted 10 yrs is because he was a long distance trucker and was gone several days each month.
#8
I lost almost all feelings for him at one point and was considering breaking up with him, but stuck around. Best d**n decision of my life to stick around.
Johnnynatfan 5 months ago
I feel that way about my wife but Im not planning to break up with her at the moment. I am hoping this happens for us.
DeeDee M 5 months ago
Often " losing feelings" especially in an otherwise stable relationship indicates that something is maybe going on internally with you. It's nothing to be ashamed of or alarmed about, but you may need to talk to someone for your own sake. No one feels constant love and/or lust in a long term relationship. It waxes and wanes. Sometimes you even feel bored. There is so much stigma and b******t information out there...
#9
Me wanting alone time was me masking my severe anxiety attacks.
Late response to answer the comments: Firstly: thanks for the support and secondly I'm starting to open up to her. It's just that I'm a naturally closed off guy and opening up is a slight challenge for me (mentally). Little by little I'm starting to communicate more about myself but I just need to do it more often though.
Divorce.com explains that people keep secrets from each other out of shame, avoidance, fear of criticism, a lack of trust, as well as a fear of hurting their significant other.
Secrecy can lead to resentment, increase stress and anxiety, create cycles of mistrust, and generally signal that your relationship is in trouble. Keeping secrets can hurt you as well as your partner.
#10
Man, I loved that woman for a long a*s time before I had the nerve to tell her...
weatherwitch 5 months ago
I don't know what you asked but sometimes people are Very quick to judge. There is so much terminology, acronyms, language differences and just general misunderstandings and people leap upon it without thinking first. It's hard to experience 😔
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#11
That I used to pretend to have conversations with people on the phone. I just wanted him to think I had more friends than I really did and that I was cool.
God dammit now I sound crazy.
Yu Pan 5 months ago
Hey it's okay. We've all done it. I used to come up with meaningful and fun things to do every weekend so the guy I was seeing wouldn't think I was a bore and a couch potato. I AM a bore and a homebody and happy with myself.
Ace 5 months ago
No. we have not all done that. It's definitely not normal.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 5 months ago
"Those people in New York who walk around talking to themselves should be paired up so it will seem like they're having a conversation." - Lily Tomlin
#12
The only secret is a surprise 2-week trip to the UK I'm planning for the two of us - something my SO has dreamed of doing for a long time.
Andi 5 months ago
Welcome over friend - it doesn't always rain and the food is better than you think. Oh, and the countryside is beautiful .. and very varied for such a tiny place.
Maples Dad 5 months ago
Wonder what country they're going to. I hope they know London is not a great representative of the UK.
Bryn 5 months ago
Surprise trips would annoy me. Like don't plan anything yet without finding out if I can take off of work!
Megalodon Meg 5 months ago
What if he checked with her employer? What if she is the currently working? She's her own boss? Works remotely? Was told to take the time off but not the reason?
Load More Replies... However, some small secrets might be fine to keep, so long as you generally have a foundation of honesty in your relationship.
For instance, you can keep short-term secrets about a date night or surprise party that you’re organizing, or that you’ve broken your partner’s favorite item until you replace it. On top of that, there might be situations where you need a bit of time to process the information before you discuss it.
#13
My now wife and I had been dating for 4 months when she invited me to join her at a family dinner for her dad's birthday. Now I had met her parents before, but none of her siblings. When we got to the table I immediately recognized her sister from a one night stand I had the year before. We both just shook hands, said nice to meet you. The first chance her sister and I had a moment alone to speak, we both agreed that it's best we just not say thing about it.
Original Kinkster 5 months ago
In my opinion, they should talk to her. They didn't do anything wrong and if it comes out during an argument or something like that, it will feel like they lied to her on purpose the whole time and that'll hurt much more.
Andi 5 months ago
Hell no! bury it and dig another hole to bury the shovel! You didn't do anything wrong but d**n sometimes life can just get away from you.
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Michael Largey 5 months ago
In college another guy and I met and became very good friends quickly. A few weeks later he introduced me to his girlfriend, whom I had happened to have a one-night stand with two years before (and long before she met him). I thought it was best not to say anything. She didn't feel that way and told him. End of friendship.
Bob Brooce 5 months ago
I hope she figure out that that was probably a big red flag.
Load More Replies... CatLover 5 months ago
Sara, how is it gross? The OP met his NOW wife’s sister the YEAR before. The OP didn’t know the sister was his wife’s sister when he met her because SHE WASN’T HIS WIFE YET! He didn’t know her siblings so how could he know she was her sister?
Bob Brooce 5 months ago
Sara might not even realize she has a major hangup, and certainly doesn't realize she told everyone about it.
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Leah Brown 5 months ago
Looks like "smoker's kitchen curtains" to me! lol
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Blue Bunny of Happiness 5 months ago
Definitely one to take to the grave. It would cause more harm than good. If it ever did come out, OP could claim the beer goggles were on and he didn’t recognise her.
DeeDee M 5 months ago
That's a tough one. It depends on how serious the relationship is. If this is heading for marriage? Yeah, you need to say something, and soon, otherwise she's going to flip out and think you were keeping her in the dark because you two are into each other. Someone will have a slip and say something out of a guilty conscience. This is a rip the band aid off type of thing, if it's real and worth working through it will be fine.
#14
My former partner preassured me into being a camgirl because my wage was not making ends meet. He didn't work. There is most likely p**n of me on the internet I hated producing. I was 18. I'm glad I'm outta there.
I feel deeply ashamed and would never tell my current partner.
Auntriarch 5 months ago
Tell your current partner. If they ditch you for it, they aren't the person you need
amy lee 5 months ago
Agreed it'll either lift the shame or someone you b didn't realise would be a dead weight.
Load More Replies... Earonn - 5 months ago
We really to make it more clear, personally and as a society, to victims of sexual exploitation, that they have no reason to feel ashamed. And that men who pressure women into doing that, like that dog t**d Tate, are the real pieces of s**t here. And that's insulting to s***s.
Original Kinkster 5 months ago
So let's hope your partner won't discover it when searching for new p**n on the web. Guys tend to be pretty weird when they find out that their partner has done the things they are looking for in secret...
Earonn - 5 months ago
Yeah, because they think they own a woman retrospectively. Idiots. What she did before is none of his business, if at all he should be angry that another man pressured (!) her into doing it.
Load More Replies... weatherwitch 5 months ago
One. This was abuse. Also grooming too. Three. He was out of work. He could have done his own cam work to produce income..... Four. Pörn on the Internet is out there forever. I'm so very sorry that you had to do this when it was Not Your choice Don't be ashamed ❤️ Look for support if you want , many others have unfortunately been through this
#15
That I've turned a closet in the hallway into a shoe closet because she has wanted one for a very long time. When she comes back home in a couple of days I hope she loves it.
Broadly speaking, how open and honest are you with your significant others, dear Pandas? Do you keep a lot of secrets from them, whether large or small? If you feel like sharing, what is the biggest thing that you’ve kept secret from your partners? Feel free to open up in the comments at the very bottom of this post.
#16
The baby’s actually asking for her ball when she goes “papa”.
#17
That dress really *does* make her look fat.
BookFanatic 5 months ago
I'm weird. I'd much rather be told I look bad in an outfit than go out in public and have everyone think I'm too dumb to know what looks good on me.
Only Me 5 months ago
Agree. But don't tell me it makes me look fat, tell me it doesn't work for me. Or something like that.
Load More Replies... Nicole Weymann 5 months ago
Would depend on when SO asks, I think. If looking for input to decide whether or not to buy the dress you better answer honestly. If it's last minute, right before entering the ballroom, it's too late to change anything major and you'd just maker her feel miserable and insecure. And generally speaking: if you don't wanna know DON'T ASK.
Susie Elle 5 months ago
YOu can't tell your partner a certain dress or whatever looks unflattering on her?
NoRestfortheQWERTY 5 months ago
When she asks you "Do I look good in this, always answer, "Oh, you look good in everything." My grandfather fed that line to my mom, who lost her mother when she was in early twenties, which is why her dad sometimes went shopping with her. But my mom suspects he learned it for my grandmother, who was, if I'm to believe what I've been told, not at all a woman to be trifled with.
Magna Linnevers 5 months ago
This is BS! Don’t lie to her and let her go out in public looking less than her best because you were too chicken to tell her the truth. I would be devastated if you did that to me. However, I don’t go fishing for compliments either, if I ask, I want the truth.
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WorkAholic1 5 months ago
I told my DH years ago to tell me honestly if something I'm wearing makes me look fat. He tells me. I've tossed dresses, shirts, skirts, etc. because it's not a good look on me.
Blue Bunny of Happiness 5 months ago
I bought a dress I really liked. Boyfriend said it made me look pregnant. Dress was gone the next day, definitely glad he told me.
Magna Linnevers 5 months ago
I never ask for anyone’s opinion UNLESS I want an honest answer. I can lie to myself, thank you very much, I don’t need anyone else to do it too. Same in return, those who know me, know I will always give them my honest opinion if they ask. I will tell you I think you look fat, but I will also tell you when something is flattering. I don’t have time or energy to play games, if I ask, I expect the truth. If you ask, I assume you want the same.
Lowrider 56 5 months ago
My ex asked one time what would I change about her, and like a dummy, I told her. Bad, bad mistake.
Magna Linnevers 5 months ago
No, not a mistake. In that situation, you couldn’t win, and way too high maintenance to be sustainable in the long run. She shouldn’t have asked unless she wanted an answer. Did you really want to stay in a relationship where you had to analyze the purpose behind every question to make sure you gave the “right” answer, then try to remember that answer next time she asks, but now in a different context? In the famous words of Lt. Col. Jessup “You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth!”
Load More Replies... #18
I would never eat my ex girlfriend's mother's cooking due to her poor hygiene. I found hair of hers in my food multiple times, saw her pet their cat then proceed to touch the food she was making, and severed me spaghetti with her bare hands. Always told my ex girlfriend that I wasn't hungry or already ate.
BookFanatic 5 months ago
I've done most of that...but I live alone and usually am just feeding myself. I'm much more hygienic when I have dinner guests.
CatLover 5 months ago
But still, that could cause hygiene problems, or even just annoying hair in your mouth. Or maybe you were talking about the bare-hand thing, then that’s ok if it’s yourself.
Load More Replies... #19
My SO has a hobby that is slowly turning into a side gig. I hired an artist to create a logo for him and am making him a big sign for his work space and some stickers to do with as he pleases. I'm going to surprise him with it in June for our anniversary and I've had to keep it to myself since December and it's eating me alive!! Longest 6 months ever!
Papa 5 months ago
I agree, but only if he has made it clear in no uncertain terms that he wants to monetize his hobby. If he hasn't done that, he may not be happy with the surprise.
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Unkeptwoman 5 months ago
Sounds like you overstepped a boundary. It is HIS HOBBY, HIS SIDE GIG. I'd rethink this. How about you show him your design idea and let him make the choice?
amy lee 5 months ago
He might also just need someone to believe in him. Hard to judge from the outside.
Load More Replies... #20
The number of sexual partners I've had.
WhatEvenIsLife 5 months ago
It's actually pretty important to be honest about your sexual history. I'm blunt about it, and it's not a small number. If the other person is going to judge me, they're not the person for me.
AsylumWalker 5 months ago
Not really. The only honesty that's necessary is any STIs that might cause issues
Load More Replies... Lene 5 months ago
I sometimes regret that I told my bf how many I had. 😬 but he asked me and I told him.
Jill Rhodry 5 months ago
but why did he want to know - I know 'your number' is a thing but I don't get it and I don't understand why people ask this question
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Kristin 5 months ago
My husband dont believe my number, he says and I quote "your way too beautiful to have that number" my thing is, im not trustful of men. I'm 37 and been thru hell and back. I was SA for 7 years by my own uncle and cousin. For that It takes alot for me to give myself to anyone. I was then in a horrible a*****e marriage and that did a number as well. I've been married to my now husband almost 15 years. My number stands at 4. I've only slept with someone I love.
weatherwitch 5 months ago
Body count as its termed nowadays is nobody's business but your own ❤️ None, one, six, thirty, 3000 is still no ones business whatsoever ❤️
#21
I dated a man for years who lied to me about about his parents being dead. He made up an elaborate tragic story about how they both died together in a car accident. Found out later they were both very much alive. Oh, and he was also married!
Rika 5 months ago
I understand why people might lie about their parents being dead. Sometimes, when you tell your partner that you're no longer in contact with your ab*sive parents, they'll still think it's a good idea to go behind your back and plan a surprise meet-up because they have a good relationship with their own parents and think everything can be forgiven.
Kit Black 5 months ago
I don't think this applies when you find out the dude was also already married
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#22
That I know when she makes fun of me that she's joking around. But sometimes it actually really hurts my feelings.
JB 5 months ago
I don’t think this should be kept secret. Proper joking around isn’t meant to hurt. Hopefully, your partner would be upset that your feelings were hurt - I don’t mean this in a harsh way, it’s a sign of true caring. It shows you trust them enough to be vulnerable and say, “hey, that hurt”. Hopefully, they keep the lighthearted joking around but avoid the things you’re sensitive about. If they don’t, or even double down, they aren’t really a good partner.
LongFang 5 months ago
Wife did that, 10 yrs... Divorced her cheating South end...
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Brian Droste 5 months ago
OP needs to tell her how it makes him feel otherwise it is going to eat him up and one day he is going to explode. That won't be good.
#23
That I served in the army for 5 yrs, and fought in the 1st Iraq war. But to be fair I don't tell anybody about it. I just keep it to myself.
Michael Largey 5 months ago
If a war veteran can leave the past in the past and march on, they're one of the fortunate ones.
Camber Hollywood 5 months ago
Not telling "anybody" suggests that it is not in the past. Secrets are the past haunting us in many cases.
Load More Replies... Magna Linnevers 5 months ago
This is nothing to be ashamed of, or try to hide. Be proud, and thank you for your service! I don’t agree with the corruption that led to the war, but that has nothing to do with you. You followed orders because it’s what you HAD to do. I’m glad you survived, and please, stand up straight.
#24
We had more s*x than usual while I was watching the witcher. He doesn’t know it’s because I was imagining Henry Cavill.
Pandemonium 5 months ago
Henry Cavill's wife thinks of me while they're in bed. I'm sure of it.
#25
My sexuality. I've slept with quite a few guys and there's no chance I'd ever tell a female partner. It's funny, because a female partner having slept with another woman prior to your relationship, is a turn on for most men, or at least not a concern. Yet, the woman knowing her man's slept with another man, seems to cause concern, and be a turn off.
Rika 5 months ago
I've never met a woman who had an issue with it. A lot also find it hot. I guess it depends what kind of women you're hanging out with, some are still very close-minded and think that a man who enjoys b*tt stuff can't be "a real man".
DeeDee M 5 months ago
Is it bad that I'm a 39 year old woman and the phrase "butt stuff" makes me giggle like Homer Simpson? Also, its totally hot! 🤭
Load More Replies... Original Kinkster 5 months ago
Yes, I can feel this. By my experience, most women don't like the idea that their partner had gay s*x. I'm glad that my wife is an exception.
Kit Black 5 months ago
You're dating the wrong women dude. Don't date homophobes, don't date biphobes, and especially don't have children with them.
Camber Hollywood 5 months ago
He doesn't say much about his partner. His post seems mostly projecting his insecurities on her.
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#26
She doesn’t know that every time I hold her in my arms, I have to stop myself from proposing because I don’t have a ring yet and I want it to be special for her.
Auntriarch 5 months ago
You know the inverse proportion law about cost of wedding and length of marriage? It works for fancy proposals too.
Rachel Pelz 5 months ago
Is the ring that much of a thing in any other country than the US? Why not just propose?
Magna Linnevers 5 months ago
I didn’t get a ring until the wedding. My husband proposed with limited edition bride and groom Pez dispensers. Yes, there’s a story there, but not important here. What I’m trying to say is, we were broke, but he still put thought and effort into the occasion. We had a 10 year engagement, by choice, and at no point did I feel any less committed because I didn’t have a ring. What I’m trying to say is, if she feels the same about you, it won’t be about the ring.
Anna Drever 5 months ago
We went ring shopping together. I’d rather we did that than end up with something that I didn’t like and have to pretend for decades that I loved it. And mine wasn’t expensive at all so it wasn’t money being the factor.
#27
I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years now.
I'm 99% sure I'm transgender, but I want to have children with her and be with her for the rest of my life.
I'm not sure if I'll ever tell her because I don't know if we would be together after that.
I love her to death and would do absolutely anything to get her where she wants to be in her life.
What if I come out to her and she leaves me?
Its not something I like to think about.
A less serious secret also; I met a girl online a long time ago online, I went on to meet her in person and stay at her house when I was in grade 9.
We're great friends, real close and everything. I told her I was a year older then I actually am to seem cooler, She still doesn't know.
Not-a-Clue (she/her) 5 months ago
Why not have a discussion about another person who came out as trans and their partner stayed with them (there's bound to be a news or magazine article you can refer to) to get an idea what her reaction might be.
Orysha 5 months ago
If you are trans and she's not bi yeah she would leave you. Better to be honest about that.
Lynchamigsakta 5 months ago
Ya don't string some poor person along with lies, especially if you let them carry and birth your kids. They deserve to decide if it's a deal breaker or not
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Camber Hollywood 5 months ago
Love can't be well communicated where there is a large secret in the way. Even small secrets can be awkward.
#28
How little self confidence I have because she makes me feel like I'm never enough. And how that's driving me into the worst depression I've ever had.
#29
I never told my wife I was abused by a neighbor when I was s kid. She knows my dad beat us but not about the neighbor.
#30
That I can’t understand her accent sometimes.
Day Andie 5 months ago
Me too, I have problems with accents and feel so stupid and rude when I ask people to continually repeat. And not just once! And with my son-in-law, especially. He's such a neat guy, and so interesting, but I miss half of the convo. Makes me sad and mad at myself. (also, getting older and losing my hearing) 😥
Huddo's sister 5 months ago
A close family friend of mine is from South Africa (lived in Australia 30+ years) and most of the time I can understand her well enough but every so often I miss parts and it gets confusing.
Load More Replies... #31
What exactly I did during my deployment in afghanistan waaaay back. We werent together back then, but there are things I need to leave behind, and I am also worried it might affect her opinion of me.
Which, by the way, if anyone in a similar situation is reading this: Keep it to yourself. Always. Bury that s**t deep. Real life is not the movies, people are nowhere near as accepting of bad s**t, and WILL bring it up when tempers flare and fights happen. Or it will slowly gnaw at them.
BookFanatic 5 months ago
Yep. My dad was in Vietnam. I know two things about his time there. He was a Marine. And he taught officers to shoot. That's it.
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Shannimal 5 months ago
This is terrible advice. If she/he loves you, they will understand the f****d up s**t that you, as a soldier, had to do and will do everything to help you cope. That's what love is.
Sue User 5 months ago
No. My father was in military. Its enough to say " it was bad".
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#32
...ex...but she still doesn't know. I was having a dream about how badly I needed to pee, running around not finding any toilets ANYWHERE. Finally found one and started to p**s.
Except I REALLY pissed. As an adult man I started pissing the bed. The relationship was already on the outs, I hated this girl. I rolled over, pissed all over her side of the bed because she's a SUPER heavy sleeper, then shook her awake and told her she pissed the bed.
She was mortified. I never told a soul, kept "her" secret for her.
I welcome my downvotes and all comments on what a monster j*****s I am.
Original Kinkster 5 months ago
You're absolutely right about what you said in your last sentence. But congrats to your self awareness.
weatherwitch 5 months ago
That's just so f*****g gross to do to her and nasty. But also urine stinks of hormones, it won't have smelt like female urine 🤷🏻♀️
#33
The only nights I sleep are with my partner. I can barely manage more than a few hours otherwise. I have so much anxiety and overthink so many made up scenarios every night, but when I am with them I feel infinitely more calm. I often fake how much I sleep just so they don't worry or feel bad about when I can't be with them.
Kristin 5 months ago
I get this. My husband is a OTR driver (over the road) he's gone all week and comes home Friday nights or early Saturday morning and out again sunday night, early Monday. I sleep like c**p when he's gone. When he's home I sleep so peacefully in his arms. He does know this. Maybe get a body pillow. Helped tremendously with me.
#34
How often I think about leaving him. Even though I love him/
To answer all your questions: We are both mental ill, no job and a toddler. And it often feels like I have to everything alone. Like raising two children. I barely have any me-time, we dont go out together, I try my best but I just burn out again and again.
We dont have much money, but he smokes and needs to buy new console games because of his ADS, while all I buy for myself are some 2€ facemasks to feel happier.
He burns out so easily, like today after two hours with our kid while I needed a break after dealing all morning (4hrs) with him. And I heard him yelling and insulting our kid which hurts me deeply.
We have some good days, which is why I didnt leave yet. But today is just everything black again.
And no, we have no familiy or friends to support us with the child.
Not-a-Clue (she/her) 5 months ago
He doesn't NEED to buy console games, he's using his condition as an excuse. And there's no justification for yelling at and insulting a child.
weatherwitch 5 months ago
Leave. Leave. Leave. Things will Only get better if you leave. Do not Ever accept a father yelling and insulting your child. He's using his illness as a weapon and using yours as a weakness. I suspect you're experiencing other things too but don't yet recognise them or can't face recognising them yet. Look around for help. Local charity services, local support groups. Things Will be so much better when you are free. Good luck ❤️
#35
How much I actually liked him in those 5 years before we got together and how sad it made me that I never really thought I had a chance with him.
LinkTheHylian 5 months ago
Trying to move on from one myself right now. Really difficult when you both acknowledge you have so much in common, but only one of you is interested in a relationship.
Load More Replies... #36
I am, she wants a certain house and I'm saving money, once I buy the house I'm sending the key by mail and will wait for her. :).
Morgen Stern 5 months ago
This sounds a bit creepy and wrong in many ways. But if it works for the two of them, OK.
Michael Largey 5 months ago
Wanting something and considering its purchase to be a wise financial decision are two very different things.
Maim 5 months ago (edited)
You don't buy a bbq grill for your husband without input... so you should NEVER buy a house for someone without input. I always hated that Jim did that to Pam. That is a financial decision, too. OK so maybe she'd love the house, but man, you don't spend that amount of money without that person's two cents. And if it's all YOUR money... do you discuss putting her name on the title too? Yeah, no... just a bad idea.
weatherwitch 5 months ago
That might be a day dream but not a reality dream. Big difference. Also once I buy the house I will send her the key and wait for her.... Er.... Are you even Together?? This sounds incredibly dodgy. Like a huge crush you have on them and have written out the whole entire love story without once considering her thoughts, feelings and opinions on the matter 😕
#37
I might have breast cancer and I am freaking out.
He knows I have a lump. He knows I have a mammogram and ultrasound scheduled. He thinks that it's "preventative, probably a cyst, nbd." That might be the case. But this thing is hard, irregularly-shaped, and only as sensitive and tender as my normal breast tissue. There's a good chance I'm f****d.
I'm not going to dump this on him until I get that mammogram and ultrasound (and possibly biopsy). He has his own s**t going on (newly diagnosed anxiety! onoz!) and I'm not going to add to it with bad news I'm unsure about.
I am talking to friends, and soon a counselor, so it's not like I'm keeping this bottled up...it's just not the right time to tell Husband.
**Edit:** Thanks for the perspective, guys. I'll tell him what's going on. To me, it just seems like telling him that I *might* have cancer is akin to saying, "I have this huge uncomfortable pit in my stomach and my worries are crowding out my everyday thoughts. It's terrible. Want some? I mean, I know you have your own s**t going on, but have some of mine!"
Believe me, if I could keep this a secret from my own d**n self, I would! I want to know a definite yes or no, so I can either prepare or celebrate.
Littlemiss 5 months ago
I knew a lady who discovered breast cancer just before she got got married. She told her new husband and he left her. They'd been together for years and she had seen him through some huge things. The minute she needed him, he dumped her like a hot coal
Laura Spring 5 months ago
I've been through breast cancer. I was in the middle of a divorce (yay!) and had actually gone out on a few dates with this guy when I was diagnosed. Lost my sister to breast cancer 3 years previously. I told him I knew it was going to get ugly and I'd call him when I was well. He said he thought I'd look cute bald. 14 years later . . . .still together and cancer free.
BookFanatic 5 months ago
Been there. I didn't tell a SOUL until I knew it was cancer and I had a treatment plan. Everyone's different of course, but I just couldn't see the point in worrying people until there was a diagnosis and a concrete path forward.
Boredest Panda 5 months ago
@Wij: What’s with all the useless weak men trying to hide behind their poor sarcasm skills by putting real men with real problems down? Man up you cowards!
Camber Hollywood 5 months ago
It is a little useful to talk about what might happen. It is hugely important to talk about what is happening. In this case, her anxiety and concern. Having something like that withheld gets in the way of love and connection.
Bob Brooce 5 months ago
It's a tough decision. You need to choose between having support before you know for sure and possibly having them also worry about something that turns out to not be a serious problem.
Broad Panda 5 months ago
You should be grateful that you don't understand how awful it can be.
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#38
I have never told her this but as soon as she leaves, I cut a five minute long fart.
Original Kinkster 5 months ago
I never understood this kind of behavior and I think I'll never will... Why to do so much people feel the urge to pretend that their body is malfunctioning?
weatherwitch 5 months ago
If I was with you I'd want to hear that. I'm 52 and juvenile. I would laugh like hell, then grade you on tone, longevity, volume, odour and how far away it's still about for. If you can't fart with the person you love then life is Boring!!
#39
I'm slowly losing my mental stability. I can feel that my mental health issues are coming back.
#40
I’m their second cousin.
WindySwede 5 months ago
Both getting invited to the same family reunion..
Load More Replies... #41
I was kidnapped as a young teen, r***d, forced to write letters to my parents explaining why I "ran away", drugged, blindfolded & fed viagra & forced to r**e unseen victims, tortured, starved, and eventually shot & left for dead in a culvert. I survived. My parents were incredibly supportive, the police were less so - it was assumed my family & I were, I don't know, making it all up? Years of therapy later, I'm more or less OK (INCREDIBLY claustrophobic though, night terrors, don't like being alone in the dark, can't bear children laughing & screaming at playgrounds, etc.). It's too tough to explain to my girlfriend though - I don't know where to start or how to make it sound like I'm not damaged or a monster myself, and I think it might actually be MORE painful to keep it from her than to remember what I went through. I explain the scars with an accident I actually had, but didn't actually get hurt in. I lost a finger, have deep scars in both legs & puncture-wound scars in my head & chest where I was shot. We've been together long enough that I know it's serious, and if we get married I don;t know I'm going to figure out how to tell her.
EDIT/UPDATE: I'm going to try, I promise. By the end of the year, she will know.
Unkeptwoman 5 months ago
Sounds like you are still carrying shame that is not yours. I had basically the same situation but a friend's mother kicked in the door and got me the hell out of there. I told my husband at the very beginning of dating. How could I not when I was terrified of bed pillows, hands on my shoulders and closed doors and windows? Do it. For yourself.
Bartlet for world domination 5 months ago
This is 13 years old and from Reddit. Still, enough internet for me today.
Load More Replies... #42
That I dislike his mom.
Michael Largey 5 months ago
Then don't marry her. (And he may not be too crazy about her either.)
#43
That I've been wanting to end things for a couple of months now. We haven't had s*x in months and he keeps bailing on plans or putting 0 effort so we sit in my apartment 90% if the time. He also doesn't get why it makes me uncomfortable how much he hangs out with his ex - the day after we went out for our 1 year anniversary, he went out to brunch with her, but still says he loves me etc. Only reason I haven't ended it is he's moving overseas for work at the end of the year so it will be over then anyway.
John Mosley 5 months ago
He's back with his ex, obviously. Excuse yourself from their bullshittery and move on to better things.
#44
Fewer and fewer these days.
I remember back when we were first dating and I'd be cool and pretty and second guess what I was about to say because I wouldn't want him to judge me harshly. Now it's all "I have a bit of eczema on my back, can you put this lotion on it cos I can't reach..."
Last year I had a case of depression and I never told him but he became the thing I sort of hung my life on. I didn't have any internal willpower myself. So I would use him as a template or an external motivator. So I would wake up when he woke up because otherwise I'd just lie in bed all day. I would fix dinners based on what he would like because I didn't like anything anymore. I would plan stuff to do which I thought he would enjoy because I didn't take any joy in stuff anymore.
I never told him because I don't want him to feel awkward or any pressure that he has to somehow reciprocate. Him being just a normal and good person was a lifeline to me and I don't want him to overthink it. When I have a bit of a low period I know I can look to him as a reasonable template of how to get it right, even if its on the surface level it's enough. It keeps those basic routines going, it gives structure to your day.
#45
My parents split when I was four, and my mom didn't really get over my dad for another ten years or so. They both had some pretty serious issues, and whenever they were together bad things happened. My dad has always been a cheater, and I knew that growing up. Well when my dad would drop my younger sister and me off at my moms house after his weekend, my mom and him would take off somewhere and get plastered. They would come back to my house and BLAST music and head to my moms room. This happened from when I was 7-13ish and I remember sitting in my room, trying to comfort my baby sister while having to listen to what was going on in the next room. I would get sick to my stomach, knowing that 1. he was cheating on his wife at home, 2. my mom was going to come scream at me as soon as he left (what she always did when sh drank) and 3. having to hear them moan while I tried to get my sister back to sleep. I remember getting so furious, when I was really little I would just hide- bawling and waiting for her rage. I began to blame him for turning her into this monster after he left, and when I got older I would scream at them through the door, threatening to tell his wife. It might not seem like a huge deal now, but I will never forget the feeling I got- panic, rage, disgust and terror all at once. I am engaged to my SO, and we talk about my parents occasionally but I will never be able to explain all the things my parents did, and how much it affected me growing up.
Judy Reynolds 5 months ago
I am so sorry!! Would therapy help? Maybe just telling someone who has no dog in this race would help you.
#46
I lost my virginity to my gf but she doesn't know, she thinks i had s*x once before her. This long into the relationship i dont think i could admit i've been lying about it for just over 3 years.
Not-a-Clue (she/her) 5 months ago
That doesn't sound like a big deal, although I'd be cross to have been lied to.
Michael Largey 5 months ago
After three years, surely there are current topics which are more meaningful to the relationship.
Kyra Noelle 5 months ago
I am sure it hasn't even entered her head. Women aren't nearly judgmental about that as men. Just make sure you are taking care of business. ;-)
#47
I have quite a bit more money than my lifestyle outwardly reflects.
Revealing such, though necessary at a certain point, is in my experience an effective way to become single again.
Kyra Noelle 5 months ago
I can see if you lived bigger than your means but if it is the other way around, I don't see why they would leave you.
#48
Ex - I was secretly in her WoW guild for a year. I put on a different accent in comms. Whenever she stayed over at my place for raids my in game person pretended to have work - also faked work some nights she wasn't here so she wouldn't notice.
I wasn't doing it to spy on her or anything, she was a sweetheart. I just liked pretending to be someone else and the people in her guild made me laugh.
Original Kinkster 5 months ago
Da fuq... Why didn't they just told her that they would like to play wow together with her?
Rika 5 months ago
Because they're gonna end up having conversations like, "I need you to send me this item/help me with this raid/cover for that other guild dude who's sick so we don't lose our rank..." at any point during the day and get into arguments when one of them messes up. Trust me, I'm a gamer, I've dated a gamer for several years, we had no life outside of it, and we were still glad to mostly be playing different games because there's always something to do in-game especially if you're competitive: your partner becomes your coworker, you get mad at them if they don't pull their weight, and unlike other players, they can't switch off their computer to flee the fight.
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#49
No longer together but when we were, I never told him my real name.
It wasn’t intentional. I’ve just always gone by my middle name since grade school and it wasn’t until we’d broken up that I realized he never knew.
Rika 5 months ago
It happened to me many times, both from me and my partners/friends. A lot of people use their middle name or a shortened version of their name in everyday life. As an adult, you don't really need to know someone's government name unless you're doing something that requires it like moving in together or booking the hotel for a trip.
#50
How broken my mental health is and how vulnerable I am. Hear me out; he has a high stress high pressure job that's basically 24/7. Its rough for him and hes burning out. I refuse to be part of that issue also.
I know it's bad and I should tell him and we are both working on communicating our moods and things. My biggest issue is I don't wanna hurt him however, you cant exactly say 'oh hey babe, I've been masking some serious s**t n I've been thinking if s*****e more and more.'
The guilt I feel over it too is probably unhealthy but god I adore that man and i refuse to break my protective guard for him to add to the stress payload.
I dont know - please forgive formatting/grammatical or spelling mistakes, I've been awake for 40 odd hours.
#51
I pick my nose. Regularly.
Michael Largey 5 months ago (edited)
If I could pick my nose, I certainly wouldn't have picked the one I've got.
#52
Wife has weight issues. I found her snack stashed at work and around the house. I know on her really bad days she dips into them.
#53
I am "fixed" (vasectomy).
#54
That I think about k**ling myself far more often than I should. It just seems like an easy way out of responsibility of life. We don't have kids yet, and if I do it before we have them, I think it would be best.
I don't know if this is depression cause there's nothing in my life that should make me feel like this. But it's on my mind multiple times a week.
Brian Droste 5 months ago
Need to go see a therapist. Figure out why you are feeling this way.
#55
That I think about leaving him sometimes simply because I think he's too good for me and could do way better than me.
#56
My soul mate is already married and I just settled for you because you were the closest I could get to him, and I'm afraid of what I'll do when his marriage ends.
Michael Largey 5 months ago
I got to know a woman in college pretty well because she was in hot pursuit of a handsome friend of mine. When she figured out she wasn't going to get him, she told me that I'd do. I didn't.
#57
My gf doesn't know that i have stashes of candy around my house. she doesn't let me eat sweet stuff cuz she says it's bad for me lol.
#58
I never told my last girlfriend that I was bisexual.
I just didn't see the point. Early on in our relationship, she admitted that she experimented with women in college; since I am not publicly out yet, and she was clearly open to the idea, I simply didn't tell her. She never asked me directly, "Have you ever been with a man sexually?", so I don't feel like I lied to her technically.
I would never lie to her or cheat on her, I don't have any STDs, and I know my way around a v****a. Does anything else really matter?
NoRestfortheQWERTY 5 months ago
"I know my way around a v______a?" OP is one romantic son of a gun, that's for certain.
Ellinor 5 months ago
But his girlfriend doesn't has to know that, it's not that much big of a deal.
Load More Replies... #59
I was a s*x worker up until the couple weeks before we got together.
Luckily I only had 4 clients as I worked full time as well, but it would devastate him to know that about me.
Pandemonium 5 months ago
"but it would devastate him to know that about me" - yeah probably but I hope you don't harbor any unnecessary guilt.
#60
That I grew up in a gang and took money from people to pay for food when I was a kid. Don't want her to know that side of my life and there is no reason for her to know imo.
Mochi 5 months ago
It's hard dude. But past is the past, and if there's no reason, there is no reason to tell. I did a lot in my childhood, and my now gf does know some parts. It's out some strain on our relationship, but I think it's helped with understanding why I am the way I am when it comes to gifts and other things. It can be helpful to share
#61
I’m proposing on the 25th during a live podcast recording. I’m waiting on the ring and I cleared it with the podcast hosts. I also cleared it with him that he likes public proposals.
Usually when I have good news I tell him and it’s k**ling me that I can’t tell him this really big news.
For context; we have been having conversations around getting engaged. He has a ring for me and he’s looking for the right moment but he’s also said he’s really nervous because he feels like this is all on him.
#62
We both went to a relatively small high school (120 people in our class) and everybody knew everybody. She had a little crush on me freshman year, but I literally didn't even know she existed. My first memory of ever seeing her was sophomore year in math class and I remember thinking "Who is that girl? Is she new or is she just an upper-classman?" I feel bad because I think I knew everybody in our freshman class *except* her. We ended up dating the summer after high school and 4 years later we're engaged so I don't think she can get *too* mad at me, but I'll still never tell her this because it might hurt her feelings a little bit.
#63
I had a serious gaming a*******n for about 8 months, i work in field sales, 46 married, 2 kids.
In september 2017 i started playing destiny 2 too much, i found raiding and once i played hokey from work while she went. I literally got dressed, walked with her to her car, kissed her goodbye whike she went woth the kids to school and her job, then i would turn around and not get into my car, go into the house, and boot up, look for lfg groups to do raids with and i would play until nearly lunchtime then i would go and do half a days work. Id do it 4 days a week for most of that time. Twice i almost got caught, she came home early and id "Surprise her" by having coming home for lunch. Even had surprise s*x the second time. Work suffered and i had to change jobs to get away from it, so i got a job in a fixed location instead. I dont raid at all, its funny my son whos 14, plays d2 now and my wife said that he plays too much to him, he responded by saying, you think thats bad, dad has 2k hours more than me." She didnt cop that at the time.
#64
That I was molested for about 5 years of my childhood. I eventually told him but it didn't happen until 6 years into our relationship. Though I didn't really keep it a secret that entire time. I didn't fully realize that I was molested in the past until the 4 year mark of our relationship. I had buried those memories and I didn't entirely understand what was going on when I was a kid. So I really kept it a secret for 2 years. I wanted to tell him for a long time but I didn't want to just randomly say "hey I was molested". I eventually I found a good time to tell him.
#65
That 8 years ago I paid ~2x what we'd agreed on for a pendant I bought her for Christmas. We share bank accounts so I'd been getting 5s and 10s as cash back from the grocery store for months and managed to save around $200, we'd agreed that spending $200 on each other was in the budget, so combined with that I was able to get her a sapphire pendant with a silver chain. Total came out to just over $400 so I truthfully told her that her gift was a bit over budget after I bought it.
To this day she makes comments about her "fake sapphire necklace" because she's smart enough to know that there's no way a real one that size would have been only $200 and I didn't want to make her feel bad about the fact that I'd spent so much on a single gift when she'd "only" spent $200 on my gift that year. I probably should have told her at some point, but it's a rare enough occurrence that I always freeze in the moment and after 8 years she's probably gonna be upset about me "lying" to her all this time when I finally do find a good time to tell her.
John Mosley 5 months ago
So she dogs on the necklace you bought her calling it fake and behaves in a way that makes you think she'll be upset with you when you tell her. Why are you even with her?
Paige Merlin 5 months ago (edited)
She doesn’t necessarily say it in a bad way — I get some people would but as a realistic but lover of jewellery I call a spade a spade. My engagement ring and wedding ring are lab diamonds and we would never have gotten these sizes if they weren’t. I champion man made stones so I have no negativity saying somethings fake if other than traditional (natural) origin. I’m just clear that’s what an item really is with no malice intended. I also don’t want to come off flashy or as if I’m trying to make it something it’s not, I’m not a tiktok girl puffing up my knock-offs as the real thing. In this case it’s the principle of like for like spending on gifts - my husband and I agree limits because he earns more due to my health issues and I feel really bad I can’t give him everything he deserves. Even if the other person doesn’t mind, if you agreed to do something it’s because you wanted it to be balanced.
Load More Replies... #66
I didn't tell my boyfriend that he took my virginity until like a year later.
Ellinor 5 months ago
Maybe shame ? (even if there's no reason to be ashamed of that)
Load More Replies... #67
Pretty much comes down to who I’ve slept with before I met her.
I had a ONS with one of her friends in the past, and I also briefly dated her brothers wife.
They never brought it up and in ever brought it up. Essentially I met them at a introductory brunch or dinner when we first started dating exclusively and there was an “oh s**t” moment but no one has ever addressed it.
She may already know but doesn’t bring it up and neither do I.
Pandemonium 5 months ago
I had a one night stand that my long-term girlfriend was upset about. So I went to Ikea and bought a second night stand to put on her side of the bed and things are better now.
#68
Every time I get a really huge crush on someone, I literally save hundreds of pictures of them on my computer. They range from celebrities to people I've gone to school with. I haven't gotten rid of a single photo, and this started at least 5 years ago. Not only that, but every single one of these photos are of girls because usually I only get crushes on girls (I am a girl myself).
Not only that, but I start internet stalking them. Every person I have had a crush on I at least have their home address or a previous home address along with any various facts about them ranging from their birthday to the foods they like to the car they drive. Sometimes it isn't that bad, but other times I compulsively check their facebook or etc. The worst it escalated to was me driving past someone's house a few times to see if they were there. Not that I would ever do anything, honestly I wouldn't. I just become obsessed with them or the idea of being with them. It's not like I have any dark fantasies about raping or harming them, quite the opposite. They're just really really horrible crushes that have grown to titanic proportions.
The thing I would be most afraid of though is definitely what would happen if he found out. How would I explain it to him? Oh, by the way I'm a big creeper and I'm also bisexual, but, oh wait, you definitely weren't supposed to know that.
TL;DR: I save information on girls I have crushes on and internet stalk them. Letting this out would admit I'm bisexual.
Rika 5 months ago
Okaaay. That would be an instant break-up from me. I have no issue with having hundred of celebrity pictures and knowing their favorite food and stuff: they're a public person, they have lots of publicly available pictures and interviews out there. But regular people ?? It's a big NO! I wouldn't feel safe with someone who's keeping so much info on unsuspecting people just because they have a crush on them. I would always wonder if they bought me this kind of ice cream because I told them it's my favorite or because they found an article from when I was in kindergarten 20 years ago and I told the journalist interviewing kids for the local newspaper that I liked it ?
#69
I only stay cuz of the kids, I don't love her at all. 13 years.
Kyra Noelle 5 months ago
You aren't doing your kids any favors, depending on the relationship, they might be better off.
#70
I'm actually keeping two secrets, both are surprises for my SO on our wedding day. I'm getting a custom comic panel made for him as a print and then to have put on a groom's cake. The other secret I won't put on here because I've worked very hard to keep it from him for the last year and I can't risk it.
#71
Not my current gf but i liked and hit on her sister first, then accidentally did the same to her at a party but it actually worked.
#73
I pay way more on my fishing gear than she knows!
#74
That she’s the only one I want to love for the rest of my life but not the only one I want to have s*x with for the rest of my life.
tresgatos72 5 months ago
How exactly does that work? Would you be okay with her feeling the same about you?
#75
My girlfriend was unaware that before we dated I had s*x with two moms (one was the mom of the kids I baby sat for and the other was the mom of the kids my sister babysat for). All my friends knew and had a lot of fun teasing me with the information subtly in front of my GF. One of my buddies, f**k you Andrew, told her that he was surprised I was dating her and not her mom given my history with women.
Thank God she was not very smart and pretty drunk so it went entirely over her head.
#76
That I'm very kinky. I enjoy weird things like gasmasks, latex, restrains, gentle Fdom and Mdom, and weirder things like succubi, tentacles, aliens, fembots and domination of people by AI, and other wild stuff.
I was a closed oyster about this for more than 15 years. I opened a bit about two years ago, about the least weird stuff, because our s*x life was going down to zero. We had some nice moments when I gently dominate her, strap her down on the bed, and pleasure her in various ways. As I tell her, everything I do to her, she can feel free to do them to me. She didn't go into that yet, but, hopefully, one day... In the meantime, the little thing I share with her makes our relationship deeper and more satisfying for both of us. But in the day following this partial coming out, I had some anxiety attacks, something I've never experienced before.
My love for her comes wayyy before my kinks, but, if it's combined it's all the better. I feel like I'll never tell her about the weirdest things, because they are surreal so, it's useless. Also, I enjoy having an existing s*x life with her while also having things on my own. But it'll never be with anybody else: she is my only love.
Ellinor 5 months ago (edited)
True, as long as it's not illegal then having kinks is perfectly fine ! Everyone have kinks anyway.
Load More Replies... #78
I hate that she says she can’t go do things that I want to do with her because she already made plans to go do things with her family. I’m not family oriented and she is.
#79
Still not over that one ex.
I'm not in love with her, but she's still constantly on my mind.
#80
That I wish he was younger. I miss my energetic, funny guy. He is getting older and suddenly looks like his late dad did when I first met their family. It wigs me out a bit. He's older than I am and we are at a stage when it matters.
#81
I frequently have dreams about my ex. We broke up over two years ago, I don't still have feelings for her but a lot of things were left unsaid.
#82
After we first dated in high school, I had my first and only lesbian experience with the girl who would soon after become his long-term girlfriend. He and I got back together during university and it would just be too much to have to explain that I had my fingers in her v****a while her face was in mine.
#83
That I actually initially wanted to bang their divorced, k**ler-body m**f mother (who actually was African champion in the 400m hurdles back in her day, she is South African) and only befriended her to gain access to the mother. The mother straight up told me one day that I have "such a handsome face". Her daughter considered this as validation that I was probably a good choice. When a girl's mother thinks the guy she is hanging out with is hot it probably encourages her to move the relationship up to boyfriend and girlfriend status...
Anyway, I ended up falling in love with the girl and didn't pursue her mother or my fantasy of sleeping with a hot m**f. Now I'll have to wait until me and the girl have been married for twenty years and she is an actual m**f herself before I'll get to fulfill my fantasy...
Original Kinkster 5 months ago
TIL that a woman has to be married for at least 20 years to becom a M I L F... and that isn't even the craziest part of this post.
#84
That, from certain angles, she looks like she has down syndrome.
Like, 95% of the time, she's the spitting image of Amy Lee from her music video for My Immortal, but that other 5% its like yikes.
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Littlemiss 5 months ago
I was ra*ed and didn't tell my then fiance. We were long distance and I couldn't bring myself to tell him. I booked a flight to see him, and eventually broke down and told him months after it happened. I eventually told him to his face. He was amazing and supportive. It helped a lot. We got married while I was there overseas. It strengthened our relationship.
Maples Dad 5 months ago
I am so sorry that happened to you. I too am a survivor of sexual a*****t so I can understand what you went through. Wonderful to read your other half was there for you ♥️
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Kristiina Männiste 5 months ago
That I do not care about him. I am unable to love and care for people, so I keep my relationships as casual as possible, and I have not brought up the "what are we?" conversation because Im afraid of his answer. I do not know why I am like that. I have not mentioned this to any of the psychiatrists I have seen. I do feel (easily suppressed) guilt and am really bad at manipulating people (mainly because I do not care) so probably Im not a psychopath, maybe just too depressed to feel anything for anyone.
JB 5 months ago
I hope you take this as gently as it’s meant. Please, tell your psychiatrist. They need all the information to be able to truly help you. Otherwise, you’re just going through the motions, turning up without tuning in. I’ve been through my own therapy, it’s really hard to open up about some things, especially if you’re fearful of what they might say (not assuming you feel the same, just offering a bit of vulnerability as encouragement). I wish you all the best.
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Lost Panda 5 months ago
The one I have is that I in fact do still talk to my mother at least once a week even though she doesn't like her and doesn't like me talking to her.
Tonyah Mcanelly 5 months ago
When my now ex got busted for posession of child P***n I had noclue it was happening federal agents raided our house . I was not allowed to talk about it to any one until the investigation was over it was a long nine months . My friends and family noticed an immediate decline of mental health . Just the mental trauma of this happening under my own roof was enough to make any one go mad . Finally I was able to get a counselor who was government approved . it helped a little to be able to unload. The way my family found out is that it came out on the news after he was convicted . but having to keep this from my family who could have helped me through the process was incredibly painful to see them wanting to help but couldn't because they simply didn't know.
Donna Peluda 5 months ago
The wife of a guy I know from social circles is on tinder looking for ONS. In her profile she states that she doesn't get enough at home.
Littlemiss 5 months ago
I was ra*ed and didn't tell my then fiance. We were long distance and I couldn't bring myself to tell him. I booked a flight to see him, and eventually broke down and told him months after it happened. I eventually told him to his face. He was amazing and supportive. It helped a lot. We got married while I was there overseas. It strengthened our relationship.
Maples Dad 5 months ago
I am so sorry that happened to you. I too am a survivor of sexual a*****t so I can understand what you went through. Wonderful to read your other half was there for you ♥️
Load More Replies... Kristiina Männiste 5 months ago
That I do not care about him. I am unable to love and care for people, so I keep my relationships as casual as possible, and I have not brought up the "what are we?" conversation because Im afraid of his answer. I do not know why I am like that. I have not mentioned this to any of the psychiatrists I have seen. I do feel (easily suppressed) guilt and am really bad at manipulating people (mainly because I do not care) so probably Im not a psychopath, maybe just too depressed to feel anything for anyone.
JB 5 months ago
I hope you take this as gently as it’s meant. Please, tell your psychiatrist. They need all the information to be able to truly help you. Otherwise, you’re just going through the motions, turning up without tuning in. I’ve been through my own therapy, it’s really hard to open up about some things, especially if you’re fearful of what they might say (not assuming you feel the same, just offering a bit of vulnerability as encouragement). I wish you all the best.
Load More Replies... Lost Panda 5 months ago
The one I have is that I in fact do still talk to my mother at least once a week even though she doesn't like her and doesn't like me talking to her.
Tonyah Mcanelly 5 months ago
When my now ex got busted for posession of child P***n I had noclue it was happening federal agents raided our house . I was not allowed to talk about it to any one until the investigation was over it was a long nine months . My friends and family noticed an immediate decline of mental health . Just the mental trauma of this happening under my own roof was enough to make any one go mad . Finally I was able to get a counselor who was government approved . it helped a little to be able to unload. The way my family found out is that it came out on the news after he was convicted . but having to keep this from my family who could have helped me through the process was incredibly painful to see them wanting to help but couldn't because they simply didn't know.
Donna Peluda 5 months ago
The wife of a guy I know from social circles is on tinder looking for ONS. In her profile she states that she doesn't get enough at home.
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