“I Feel Deeply Ashamed”: 40 Secrets People Would Rather Take To The Grave Than Confess To Partners
Everyone lies and keeps secrets from others to some extent, no matter how much they trust them. It’s simply what people do. That being said, there is a huge gap between basic privacy, harmless white lies, and positive secrets versus intentionally hiding truly emotionally devastating facts that could turn your entire relationship upside down.
Today, we’re examining some of the best and worst secrets that internet users have kept from their significant others, as shared in a couple of online threads. These are things they hope their partners will never, ever find out, whether for good or for ill. Scroll down below for their anonymous confessions.
This post may include affiliate links.
She broke her brand new laptop's display and told me to get it repaired if it costs under a hundred bucks because she is in the process of moving and therefore doesn't have too much money at the moment. I knew from the start it would cost more. She was so sad and disappointed in herself that she broke it just 2 months after buying it. I wanted to do something about it, but i knew she would never let me pay it for her. So i brought it home, got it repaired for 200 and told her the bill was 80. I normally never lie to her so it feels weird, but she is happy so i'm happy.
My sophmore year of college my dad changed his mind about helping me go to school (tuition, books, rent, etc.) 3 days before classes started. I was 19 with a part time job and his solution was to just take the money from my savings which, didn't even come close to covering it. I used a connection I had to get a job as a cocktail waitress at a strip club for the next year but I also called up an older, married guy who had been pursing me and used him as a sugar daddy to get on my feet. My SO knows I worked as a cocktail waitress but I can never tell him the rest. I've never really told anyone because even though I found a way to make it when didn't have a lot of choices I'm still not proud of it.
She is in Italy living abroad for 3 months, so we are doing LDR.
I am keeping a journal where I write a page every day about her (what I love about her, what I think about her, memories we've shared, times I was thinking about her)... She doesn't know, but she does know there is some surprise that she will get... I haven't told her anything about it and I'm really excited
It's really hard to write when we are in an argument (please don't argue over text, it only makes things worse), but it's also really good because it makes me more mindful and requires me to change my perspective of situations constantly.
I love her.
There is a world of difference between privacy and secrecy. According to the Center for Modern Relationships, privacy is your right to have your thoughts, feelings, and experiences that you shouldn’t feel compelled to share with others. “It includes having boundaries around how and when you are accessible, and allows you to have alone time. Privacy is a healthy form or practicing individuality.”
Common examples of healthy privacy include things like having passwords on your phone and computer, personal conversations with your family and friends, separate bank accounts, keeping silent about embarrassing experiences from your past, and having some private time for yourself, separate from your relationship.
I don't really care about coffee that much, but my wife is a coffee freak. I bought an espresso machine, researched on youtube how to barista for newbs, and started making lattes for my wife everyday since it makes her happy. I can't really tell the difference between "good coffee" and "bad coffee" so I'm basically just observing my wife's reactions and following along.
A few years ago I had a full on nervous breakdown and did some really bad s**t.
I didn't hit rock bottom, I went straight through the f****r and entered the seventh circle of hell.
After the event I ended up have 3 years of one to one and group therapy.
My secret is that none of it worked. I'm as scared, lonely and as f****d up as I was before the breakdown, all the group and one to one therapy has done is taught me to hide it better and keep the distress under control.
Everyone thinks I'm happy and never been better..
Hang in there OP. Find a different therapist if you feel it's not working. Sending hugs.
It bugs me that our dog prefers her. If it's the two of us in the lounge, she'll always go lay her head on my girlfriends lap. I bet she keeps snacks in her trousers. That's got to be it.
On the flip side, secrecy is very much intentional. At its core, it involves hiding or withholding information from your significant other because you believe revealing the information could have big consequences. “Secrecy is a toxic relationship behavior that can cause serious harm to the health of your relationship.”
Some examples of secrecy look like this:
- Lying about your finances, debt, or spending habits;
- Making big financial decisions without your partner;
- Lying about your job or career path;
- Hiding the truth of your relationships with friends, colleagues, and ex-partners;
- Hiding addictions;
- Flirting with other people (unless this is something you’ve agreed to do with your partner);
- Hiding parts of your health history that might impact your partner.
I secretly love when he has to travel for work.
Not because I like him being gone, but because those 1-2 days apart gives us both a chance to reset and love each other that much more when he gets back. And the kids listen better when it's just me.
Husband has been WFH since Covid, and I really want a couple of days of having the house to myself. He thinks a couple of hours is enough for me.
I lost almost all feelings for him at one point and was considering breaking up with him, but stuck around. Best d**n decision of my life to stick around.
I feel that way about my wife but Im not planning to break up with her at the moment. I am hoping this happens for us.
Me wanting alone time was me masking my severe anxiety attacks.
Late response to answer the comments: Firstly: thanks for the support and secondly I'm starting to open up to her. It's just that I'm a naturally closed off guy and opening up is a slight challenge for me (mentally). Little by little I'm starting to communicate more about myself but I just need to do it more often though.
Divorce.com explains that people keep secrets from each other out of shame, avoidance, fear of criticism, a lack of trust, as well as a fear of hurting their significant other.
Secrecy can lead to resentment, increase stress and anxiety, create cycles of mistrust, and generally signal that your relationship is in trouble. Keeping secrets can hurt you as well as your partner.
Man, I loved that woman for a long a*s time before I had the nerve to tell her...
That I used to pretend to have conversations with people on the phone. I just wanted him to think I had more friends than I really did and that I was cool.
God dammit now I sound crazy.
The only secret is a surprise 2-week trip to the UK I'm planning for the two of us - something my SO has dreamed of doing for a long time.
However, some small secrets might be fine to keep, so long as you generally have a foundation of honesty in your relationship.
For instance, you can keep short-term secrets about a date night or surprise party that you’re organizing, or that you’ve broken your partner’s favorite item until you replace it. On top of that, there might be situations where you need a bit of time to process the information before you discuss it.
My now wife and I had been dating for 4 months when she invited me to join her at a family dinner for her dad's birthday. Now I had met her parents before, but none of her siblings. When we got to the table I immediately recognized her sister from a one night stand I had the year before. We both just shook hands, said nice to meet you. The first chance her sister and I had a moment alone to speak, we both agreed that it's best we just not say thing about it.
In my opinion, they should talk to her. They didn't do anything wrong and if it comes out during an argument or something like that, it will feel like they lied to her on purpose the whole time and that'll hurt much more.
My former partner preassured me into being a camgirl because my wage was not making ends meet. He didn't work. There is most likely p**n of me on the internet I hated producing. I was 18. I'm glad I'm outta there.
I feel deeply ashamed and would never tell my current partner.
Tell your current partner. If they ditch you for it, they aren't the person you need
That I've turned a closet in the hallway into a shoe closet because she has wanted one for a very long time. When she comes back home in a couple of days I hope she loves it.
Broadly speaking, how open and honest are you with your significant others, dear Pandas? Do you keep a lot of secrets from them, whether large or small? If you feel like sharing, what is the biggest thing that you’ve kept secret from your partners? Feel free to open up in the comments at the very bottom of this post.
The baby’s actually asking for her ball when she goes “papa”.
That dress really *does* make her look fat.
I would never eat my ex girlfriend's mother's cooking due to her poor hygiene. I found hair of hers in my food multiple times, saw her pet their cat then proceed to touch the food she was making, and severed me spaghetti with her bare hands. Always told my ex girlfriend that I wasn't hungry or already ate.
I've done most of that...but I live alone and usually am just feeding myself. I'm much more hygienic when I have dinner guests.
My SO has a hobby that is slowly turning into a side gig. I hired an artist to create a logo for him and am making him a big sign for his work space and some stickers to do with as he pleases. I'm going to surprise him with it in June for our anniversary and I've had to keep it to myself since December and it's eating me alive!! Longest 6 months ever!
I dated a man for years who lied to me about about his parents being dead. He made up an elaborate tragic story about how they both died together in a car accident. Found out later they were both very much alive. Oh, and he was also married!
I understand why people might lie about their parents being dead. Sometimes, when you tell your partner that you're no longer in contact with your ab*sive parents, they'll still think it's a good idea to go behind your back and plan a surprise meet-up because they have a good relationship with their own parents and think everything can be forgiven.
That I know when she makes fun of me that she's joking around. But sometimes it actually really hurts my feelings.
I don’t think this should be kept secret. Proper joking around isn’t meant to hurt. Hopefully, your partner would be upset that your feelings were hurt - I don’t mean this in a harsh way, it’s a sign of true caring. It shows you trust them enough to be vulnerable and say, “hey, that hurt”. Hopefully, they keep the lighthearted joking around but avoid the things you’re sensitive about. If they don’t, or even double down, they aren’t really a good partner.
That I served in the army for 5 yrs, and fought in the 1st Iraq war. But to be fair I don't tell anybody about it. I just keep it to myself.
If a war veteran can leave the past in the past and march on, they're one of the fortunate ones.
We had more s*x than usual while I was watching the witcher. He doesn’t know it’s because I was imagining Henry Cavill.
Henry Cavill's wife thinks of me while they're in bed. I'm sure of it.
My sexuality. I've slept with quite a few guys and there's no chance I'd ever tell a female partner. It's funny, because a female partner having slept with another woman prior to your relationship, is a turn on for most men, or at least not a concern. Yet, the woman knowing her man's slept with another man, seems to cause concern, and be a turn off.
She doesn’t know that every time I hold her in my arms, I have to stop myself from proposing because I don’t have a ring yet and I want it to be special for her.
You know the inverse proportion law about cost of wedding and length of marriage? It works for fancy proposals too.
I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years now.
I'm 99% sure I'm transgender, but I want to have children with her and be with her for the rest of my life.
I'm not sure if I'll ever tell her because I don't know if we would be together after that.
I love her to death and would do absolutely anything to get her where she wants to be in her life.
What if I come out to her and she leaves me?
Its not something I like to think about.
A less serious secret also; I met a girl online a long time ago online, I went on to meet her in person and stay at her house when I was in grade 9.
We're great friends, real close and everything. I told her I was a year older then I actually am to seem cooler, She still doesn't know.
How little self confidence I have because she makes me feel like I'm never enough. And how that's driving me into the worst depression I've ever had.
I never told my wife I was abused by a neighbor when I was s kid. She knows my dad beat us but not about the neighbor.
What exactly I did during my deployment in afghanistan waaaay back. We werent together back then, but there are things I need to leave behind, and I am also worried it might affect her opinion of me.
Which, by the way, if anyone in a similar situation is reading this: Keep it to yourself. Always. Bury that s**t deep. Real life is not the movies, people are nowhere near as accepting of bad s**t, and WILL bring it up when tempers flare and fights happen. Or it will slowly gnaw at them.
...ex...but she still doesn't know. I was having a dream about how badly I needed to pee, running around not finding any toilets ANYWHERE. Finally found one and started to p**s.
Except I REALLY pissed. As an adult man I started pissing the bed. The relationship was already on the outs, I hated this girl. I rolled over, pissed all over her side of the bed because she's a SUPER heavy sleeper, then shook her awake and told her she pissed the bed.
She was mortified. I never told a soul, kept "her" secret for her.
I welcome my downvotes and all comments on what a monster j*****s I am.
You're absolutely right about what you said in your last sentence. But congrats to your self awareness.
The only nights I sleep are with my partner. I can barely manage more than a few hours otherwise. I have so much anxiety and overthink so many made up scenarios every night, but when I am with them I feel infinitely more calm. I often fake how much I sleep just so they don't worry or feel bad about when I can't be with them.
How often I think about leaving him. Even though I love him/
To answer all your questions: We are both mental ill, no job and a toddler. And it often feels like I have to everything alone. Like raising two children. I barely have any me-time, we dont go out together, I try my best but I just burn out again and again.
We dont have much money, but he smokes and needs to buy new console games because of his ADS, while all I buy for myself are some 2€ facemasks to feel happier.
He burns out so easily, like today after two hours with our kid while I needed a break after dealing all morning (4hrs) with him. And I heard him yelling and insulting our kid which hurts me deeply.
We have some good days, which is why I didnt leave yet. But today is just everything black again.
And no, we have no familiy or friends to support us with the child.
He doesn't NEED to buy console games, he's using his condition as an excuse. And there's no justification for yelling at and insulting a child.
How much I actually liked him in those 5 years before we got together and how sad it made me that I never really thought I had a chance with him.
I am, she wants a certain house and I'm saving money, once I buy the house I'm sending the key by mail and will wait for her. :).
I might have breast cancer and I am freaking out.
He knows I have a lump. He knows I have a mammogram and ultrasound scheduled. He thinks that it's "preventative, probably a cyst, nbd." That might be the case. But this thing is hard, irregularly-shaped, and only as sensitive and tender as my normal breast tissue. There's a good chance I'm f****d.
I'm not going to dump this on him until I get that mammogram and ultrasound (and possibly biopsy). He has his own s**t going on (newly diagnosed anxiety! onoz!) and I'm not going to add to it with bad news I'm unsure about.
I am talking to friends, and soon a counselor, so it's not like I'm keeping this bottled up...it's just not the right time to tell Husband.
**Edit:** Thanks for the perspective, guys. I'll tell him what's going on. To me, it just seems like telling him that I *might* have cancer is akin to saying, "I have this huge uncomfortable pit in my stomach and my worries are crowding out my everyday thoughts. It's terrible. Want some? I mean, I know you have your own s**t going on, but have some of mine!"
Believe me, if I could keep this a secret from my own d**n self, I would! I want to know a definite yes or no, so I can either prepare or celebrate.
I knew a lady who discovered breast cancer just before she got got married. She told her new husband and he left her. They'd been together for years and she had seen him through some huge things. The minute she needed him, he dumped her like a hot coal
I have never told her this but as soon as she leaves, I cut a five minute long fart.
I never understood this kind of behavior and I think I'll never will... Why to do so much people feel the urge to pretend that their body is malfunctioning?
I'm slowly losing my mental stability. I can feel that my mental health issues are coming back.
I was kidnapped as a young teen, r***d, forced to write letters to my parents explaining why I "ran away", drugged, blindfolded & fed viagra & forced to r**e unseen victims, tortured, starved, and eventually shot & left for dead in a culvert. I survived. My parents were incredibly supportive, the police were less so - it was assumed my family & I were, I don't know, making it all up? Years of therapy later, I'm more or less OK (INCREDIBLY claustrophobic though, night terrors, don't like being alone in the dark, can't bear children laughing & screaming at playgrounds, etc.). It's too tough to explain to my girlfriend though - I don't know where to start or how to make it sound like I'm not damaged or a monster myself, and I think it might actually be MORE painful to keep it from her than to remember what I went through. I explain the scars with an accident I actually had, but didn't actually get hurt in. I lost a finger, have deep scars in both legs & puncture-wound scars in my head & chest where I was shot. We've been together long enough that I know it's serious, and if we get married I don;t know I'm going to figure out how to tell her.
EDIT/UPDATE: I'm going to try, I promise. By the end of the year, she will know.
That I dislike his mom.
Then don't marry her. (And he may not be too crazy about her either.)
That I've been wanting to end things for a couple of months now. We haven't had s*x in months and he keeps bailing on plans or putting 0 effort so we sit in my apartment 90% if the time. He also doesn't get why it makes me uncomfortable how much he hangs out with his ex - the day after we went out for our 1 year anniversary, he went out to brunch with her, but still says he loves me etc. Only reason I haven't ended it is he's moving overseas for work at the end of the year so it will be over then anyway.
Fewer and fewer these days.
I remember back when we were first dating and I'd be cool and pretty and second guess what I was about to say because I wouldn't want him to judge me harshly. Now it's all "I have a bit of eczema on my back, can you put this lotion on it cos I can't reach..."
Last year I had a case of depression and I never told him but he became the thing I sort of hung my life on. I didn't have any internal willpower myself. So I would use him as a template or an external motivator. So I would wake up when he woke up because otherwise I'd just lie in bed all day. I would fix dinners based on what he would like because I didn't like anything anymore. I would plan stuff to do which I thought he would enjoy because I didn't take any joy in stuff anymore.
I never told him because I don't want him to feel awkward or any pressure that he has to somehow reciprocate. Him being just a normal and good person was a lifeline to me and I don't want him to overthink it. When I have a bit of a low period I know I can look to him as a reasonable template of how to get it right, even if its on the surface level it's enough. It keeps those basic routines going, it gives structure to your day.
My parents split when I was four, and my mom didn't really get over my dad for another ten years or so. They both had some pretty serious issues, and whenever they were together bad things happened. My dad has always been a cheater, and I knew that growing up. Well when my dad would drop my younger sister and me off at my moms house after his weekend, my mom and him would take off somewhere and get plastered. They would come back to my house and BLAST music and head to my moms room. This happened from when I was 7-13ish and I remember sitting in my room, trying to comfort my baby sister while having to listen to what was going on in the next room. I would get sick to my stomach, knowing that 1. he was cheating on his wife at home, 2. my mom was going to come scream at me as soon as he left (what she always did when sh drank) and 3. having to hear them moan while I tried to get my sister back to sleep. I remember getting so furious, when I was really little I would just hide- bawling and waiting for her rage. I began to blame him for turning her into this monster after he left, and when I got older I would scream at them through the door, threatening to tell his wife. It might not seem like a huge deal now, but I will never forget the feeling I got- panic, rage, disgust and terror all at once. I am engaged to my SO, and we talk about my parents occasionally but I will never be able to explain all the things my parents did, and how much it affected me growing up.
I am so sorry!! Would therapy help? Maybe just telling someone who has no dog in this race would help you.
I lost my virginity to my gf but she doesn't know, she thinks i had s*x once before her. This long into the relationship i dont think i could admit i've been lying about it for just over 3 years.
That doesn't sound like a big deal, although I'd be cross to have been lied to.
I have quite a bit more money than my lifestyle outwardly reflects.
Revealing such, though necessary at a certain point, is in my experience an effective way to become single again.
I can see if you lived bigger than your means but if it is the other way around, I don't see why they would leave you.
Ex - I was secretly in her WoW guild for a year. I put on a different accent in comms. Whenever she stayed over at my place for raids my in game person pretended to have work - also faked work some nights she wasn't here so she wouldn't notice.
I wasn't doing it to spy on her or anything, she was a sweetheart. I just liked pretending to be someone else and the people in her guild made me laugh.
Da fuq... Why didn't they just told her that they would like to play wow together with her?
No longer together but when we were, I never told him my real name.
It wasn’t intentional. I’ve just always gone by my middle name since grade school and it wasn’t until we’d broken up that I realized he never knew.
How broken my mental health is and how vulnerable I am. Hear me out; he has a high stress high pressure job that's basically 24/7. Its rough for him and hes burning out. I refuse to be part of that issue also.
I know it's bad and I should tell him and we are both working on communicating our moods and things. My biggest issue is I don't wanna hurt him however, you cant exactly say 'oh hey babe, I've been masking some serious s**t n I've been thinking if s*****e more and more.'
The guilt I feel over it too is probably unhealthy but god I adore that man and i refuse to break my protective guard for him to add to the stress payload.
I dont know - please forgive formatting/grammatical or spelling mistakes, I've been awake for 40 odd hours.
Wife has weight issues. I found her snack stashed at work and around the house. I know on her really bad days she dips into them.
I am "fixed" (vasectomy).
That I think about k**ling myself far more often than I should. It just seems like an easy way out of responsibility of life. We don't have kids yet, and if I do it before we have them, I think it would be best.
I don't know if this is depression cause there's nothing in my life that should make me feel like this. But it's on my mind multiple times a week.
That I think about leaving him sometimes simply because I think he's too good for me and could do way better than me.
My soul mate is already married and I just settled for you because you were the closest I could get to him, and I'm afraid of what I'll do when his marriage ends.
My gf doesn't know that i have stashes of candy around my house. she doesn't let me eat sweet stuff cuz she says it's bad for me lol.
I never told my last girlfriend that I was bisexual.
I just didn't see the point. Early on in our relationship, she admitted that she experimented with women in college; since I am not publicly out yet, and she was clearly open to the idea, I simply didn't tell her. She never asked me directly, "Have you ever been with a man sexually?", so I don't feel like I lied to her technically.
I would never lie to her or cheat on her, I don't have any STDs, and I know my way around a v****a. Does anything else really matter?
"I know my way around a v______a?" OP is one romantic son of a gun, that's for certain.
I was a s*x worker up until the couple weeks before we got together.
Luckily I only had 4 clients as I worked full time as well, but it would devastate him to know that about me.
"but it would devastate him to know that about me" - yeah probably but I hope you don't harbor any unnecessary guilt.
That I grew up in a gang and took money from people to pay for food when I was a kid. Don't want her to know that side of my life and there is no reason for her to know imo.
It's hard dude. But past is the past, and if there's no reason, there is no reason to tell. I did a lot in my childhood, and my now gf does know some parts. It's out some strain on our relationship, but I think it's helped with understanding why I am the way I am when it comes to gifts and other things. It can be helpful to share
I’m proposing on the 25th during a live podcast recording. I’m waiting on the ring and I cleared it with the podcast hosts. I also cleared it with him that he likes public proposals.
Usually when I have good news I tell him and it’s k**ling me that I can’t tell him this really big news.
For context; we have been having conversations around getting engaged. He has a ring for me and he’s looking for the right moment but he’s also said he’s really nervous because he feels like this is all on him.
We both went to a relatively small high school (120 people in our class) and everybody knew everybody. She had a little crush on me freshman year, but I literally didn't even know she existed. My first memory of ever seeing her was sophomore year in math class and I remember thinking "Who is that girl? Is she new or is she just an upper-classman?" I feel bad because I think I knew everybody in our freshman class *except* her. We ended up dating the summer after high school and 4 years later we're engaged so I don't think she can get *too* mad at me, but I'll still never tell her this because it might hurt her feelings a little bit.
I had a serious gaming a*******n for about 8 months, i work in field sales, 46 married, 2 kids.
In september 2017 i started playing destiny 2 too much, i found raiding and once i played hokey from work while she went. I literally got dressed, walked with her to her car, kissed her goodbye whike she went woth the kids to school and her job, then i would turn around and not get into my car, go into the house, and boot up, look for lfg groups to do raids with and i would play until nearly lunchtime then i would go and do half a days work. Id do it 4 days a week for most of that time. Twice i almost got caught, she came home early and id "Surprise her" by having coming home for lunch. Even had surprise s*x the second time. Work suffered and i had to change jobs to get away from it, so i got a job in a fixed location instead. I dont raid at all, its funny my son whos 14, plays d2 now and my wife said that he plays too much to him, he responded by saying, you think thats bad, dad has 2k hours more than me." She didnt cop that at the time.
That I was molested for about 5 years of my childhood. I eventually told him but it didn't happen until 6 years into our relationship. Though I didn't really keep it a secret that entire time. I didn't fully realize that I was molested in the past until the 4 year mark of our relationship. I had buried those memories and I didn't entirely understand what was going on when I was a kid. So I really kept it a secret for 2 years. I wanted to tell him for a long time but I didn't want to just randomly say "hey I was molested". I eventually I found a good time to tell him.
That 8 years ago I paid ~2x what we'd agreed on for a pendant I bought her for Christmas. We share bank accounts so I'd been getting 5s and 10s as cash back from the grocery store for months and managed to save around $200, we'd agreed that spending $200 on each other was in the budget, so combined with that I was able to get her a sapphire pendant with a silver chain. Total came out to just over $400 so I truthfully told her that her gift was a bit over budget after I bought it.
To this day she makes comments about her "fake sapphire necklace" because she's smart enough to know that there's no way a real one that size would have been only $200 and I didn't want to make her feel bad about the fact that I'd spent so much on a single gift when she'd "only" spent $200 on my gift that year. I probably should have told her at some point, but it's a rare enough occurrence that I always freeze in the moment and after 8 years she's probably gonna be upset about me "lying" to her all this time when I finally do find a good time to tell her.
So she dogs on the necklace you bought her calling it fake and behaves in a way that makes you think she'll be upset with you when you tell her. Why are you even with her?
I didn't tell my boyfriend that he took my virginity until like a year later.
Pretty much comes down to who I’ve slept with before I met her.
I had a ONS with one of her friends in the past, and I also briefly dated her brothers wife.
They never brought it up and in ever brought it up. Essentially I met them at a introductory brunch or dinner when we first started dating exclusively and there was an “oh s**t” moment but no one has ever addressed it.
She may already know but doesn’t bring it up and neither do I.
I had a one night stand that my long-term girlfriend was upset about. So I went to Ikea and bought a second night stand to put on her side of the bed and things are better now.
Every time I get a really huge crush on someone, I literally save hundreds of pictures of them on my computer. They range from celebrities to people I've gone to school with. I haven't gotten rid of a single photo, and this started at least 5 years ago. Not only that, but every single one of these photos are of girls because usually I only get crushes on girls (I am a girl myself).
Not only that, but I start internet stalking them. Every person I have had a crush on I at least have their home address or a previous home address along with any various facts about them ranging from their birthday to the foods they like to the car they drive. Sometimes it isn't that bad, but other times I compulsively check their facebook or etc. The worst it escalated to was me driving past someone's house a few times to see if they were there. Not that I would ever do anything, honestly I wouldn't. I just become obsessed with them or the idea of being with them. It's not like I have any dark fantasies about raping or harming them, quite the opposite. They're just really really horrible crushes that have grown to titanic proportions.
The thing I would be most afraid of though is definitely what would happen if he found out. How would I explain it to him? Oh, by the way I'm a big creeper and I'm also bisexual, but, oh wait, you definitely weren't supposed to know that.
TL;DR: I save information on girls I have crushes on and internet stalk them. Letting this out would admit I'm bisexual.
I only stay cuz of the kids, I don't love her at all. 13 years.
You aren't doing your kids any favors, depending on the relationship, they might be better off.
I'm actually keeping two secrets, both are surprises for my SO on our wedding day. I'm getting a custom comic panel made for him as a print and then to have put on a groom's cake. The other secret I won't put on here because I've worked very hard to keep it from him for the last year and I can't risk it.
Not my current gf but i liked and hit on her sister first, then accidentally did the same to her at a party but it actually worked.
I pay way more on my fishing gear than she knows!
That she’s the only one I want to love for the rest of my life but not the only one I want to have s*x with for the rest of my life.
How exactly does that work? Would you be okay with her feeling the same about you?
My girlfriend was unaware that before we dated I had s*x with two moms (one was the mom of the kids I baby sat for and the other was the mom of the kids my sister babysat for). All my friends knew and had a lot of fun teasing me with the information subtly in front of my GF. One of my buddies, f**k you Andrew, told her that he was surprised I was dating her and not her mom given my history with women.
Thank God she was not very smart and pretty drunk so it went entirely over her head.
That I'm very kinky. I enjoy weird things like gasmasks, latex, restrains, gentle Fdom and Mdom, and weirder things like succubi, tentacles, aliens, fembots and domination of people by AI, and other wild stuff.
I was a closed oyster about this for more than 15 years. I opened a bit about two years ago, about the least weird stuff, because our s*x life was going down to zero. We had some nice moments when I gently dominate her, strap her down on the bed, and pleasure her in various ways. As I tell her, everything I do to her, she can feel free to do them to me. She didn't go into that yet, but, hopefully, one day... In the meantime, the little thing I share with her makes our relationship deeper and more satisfying for both of us. But in the day following this partial coming out, I had some anxiety attacks, something I've never experienced before.
My love for her comes wayyy before my kinks, but, if it's combined it's all the better. I feel like I'll never tell her about the weirdest things, because they are surreal so, it's useless. Also, I enjoy having an existing s*x life with her while also having things on my own. But it'll never be with anybody else: she is my only love.
I hate that she says she can’t go do things that I want to do with her because she already made plans to go do things with her family. I’m not family oriented and she is.
Still not over that one ex.
I'm not in love with her, but she's still constantly on my mind.
That I wish he was younger. I miss my energetic, funny guy. He is getting older and suddenly looks like his late dad did when I first met their family. It wigs me out a bit. He's older than I am and we are at a stage when it matters.
I frequently have dreams about my ex. We broke up over two years ago, I don't still have feelings for her but a lot of things were left unsaid.
After we first dated in high school, I had my first and only lesbian experience with the girl who would soon after become his long-term girlfriend. He and I got back together during university and it would just be too much to have to explain that I had my fingers in her v****a while her face was in mine.
That I actually initially wanted to bang their divorced, k**ler-body m**f mother (who actually was African champion in the 400m hurdles back in her day, she is South African) and only befriended her to gain access to the mother. The mother straight up told me one day that I have "such a handsome face". Her daughter considered this as validation that I was probably a good choice. When a girl's mother thinks the guy she is hanging out with is hot it probably encourages her to move the relationship up to boyfriend and girlfriend status...
Anyway, I ended up falling in love with the girl and didn't pursue her mother or my fantasy of sleeping with a hot m**f. Now I'll have to wait until me and the girl have been married for twenty years and she is an actual m**f herself before I'll get to fulfill my fantasy...
TIL that a woman has to be married for at least 20 years to becom a M I L F... and that isn't even the craziest part of this post.
That, from certain angles, she looks like she has down syndrome.
Like, 95% of the time, she's the spitting image of Amy Lee from her music video for My Immortal, but that other 5% its like yikes.
I was ra*ed and didn't tell my then fiance. We were long distance and I couldn't bring myself to tell him. I booked a flight to see him, and eventually broke down and told him months after it happened. I eventually told him to his face. He was amazing and supportive. It helped a lot. We got married while I was there overseas. It strengthened our relationship.
I am so sorry that happened to you. I too am a survivor of sexual a*****t so I can understand what you went through. Wonderful to read your other half was there for you ♥️
Load More Replies...That I do not care about him. I am unable to love and care for people, so I keep my relationships as casual as possible, and I have not brought up the "what are we?" conversation because Im afraid of his answer. I do not know why I am like that. I have not mentioned this to any of the psychiatrists I have seen. I do feel (easily suppressed) guilt and am really bad at manipulating people (mainly because I do not care) so probably Im not a psychopath, maybe just too depressed to feel anything for anyone.
I hope you take this as gently as it’s meant. Please, tell your psychiatrist. They need all the information to be able to truly help you. Otherwise, you’re just going through the motions, turning up without tuning in. I’ve been through my own therapy, it’s really hard to open up about some things, especially if you’re fearful of what they might say (not assuming you feel the same, just offering a bit of vulnerability as encouragement). I wish you all the best.
Load More Replies...The one I have is that I in fact do still talk to my mother at least once a week even though she doesn't like her and doesn't like me talking to her.
I was ra*ed and didn't tell my then fiance. We were long distance and I couldn't bring myself to tell him. I booked a flight to see him, and eventually broke down and told him months after it happened. I eventually told him to his face. He was amazing and supportive. It helped a lot. We got married while I was there overseas. It strengthened our relationship.
I am so sorry that happened to you. I too am a survivor of sexual a*****t so I can understand what you went through. Wonderful to read your other half was there for you ♥️
Load More Replies...That I do not care about him. I am unable to love and care for people, so I keep my relationships as casual as possible, and I have not brought up the "what are we?" conversation because Im afraid of his answer. I do not know why I am like that. I have not mentioned this to any of the psychiatrists I have seen. I do feel (easily suppressed) guilt and am really bad at manipulating people (mainly because I do not care) so probably Im not a psychopath, maybe just too depressed to feel anything for anyone.
I hope you take this as gently as it’s meant. Please, tell your psychiatrist. They need all the information to be able to truly help you. Otherwise, you’re just going through the motions, turning up without tuning in. I’ve been through my own therapy, it’s really hard to open up about some things, especially if you’re fearful of what they might say (not assuming you feel the same, just offering a bit of vulnerability as encouragement). I wish you all the best.
Load More Replies...The one I have is that I in fact do still talk to my mother at least once a week even though she doesn't like her and doesn't like me talking to her.
