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Article created by: Linas Simonaitis

Since we were little, we all knew that insulting someone or calling names was a big no-no. However, life is full of big no-no’s, and to counteract some of them, you have to use them for your own good. And an insult is probably one of the most used of forbiddens in the life of an adult.

However, we are not talking here about calling someone a beaner bronco buster or something by far nastier - the insults in our list will make the receiver shiver from your intelligence, quiver at their own incompetence, and feel the undeniable superiority of your wit. Yes, here they are, the best insults ever recorded on the internet, delivered fresh & hot right to your screen. 

Knowing fully well that by spreading nasty, you only get nasty back, we’ve figured out that calling someone to get back to Earth requires certain finesse and flair; thus, calling someone a phallus head does not make it into our list.

Instead, these comebacks are as subtle as Claude Debussy’s Clair de Lune, as camouflaged as the workings of Sherlock Holmes, and as smart as Albert Einstein himself. Oh, also, as beautifully versed as the sonnets of mister William! So, we bet that out of these original insults, you’ll definitely find one to put in your pocket and air out when needed.

Well, are you ready to check out our list of the best insults ever? If so, clear up a few RAMs worth of space in your coconut for memorization and skip to the comebacks just a bit further down. Once you are there, vote for the funniest insults and share this article with anyone in need. 

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#1

Insulting skill example with a witty statement about outsmarting someone's comment on a pink background I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than whatever you just said.

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    #2

    Witty insulting skill quote on red background saying I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong. I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.

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    #3

    Pink image with a humorous insult about rolling eyes and finding a brain, related to mastering insulting skills. Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain.

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    #4

    Witty insult on a beige background demonstrating insulting as a skill to master with sharp humor. Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parent’s job.

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    #5

    Insulting skill joke about being so ugly it causes littering, presented on a green background with white text. You are so ugly that when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a ticket for littering.

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    #6

    Insulting skill quote on red background saying you couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel.

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    #7

    Insulting skill quote on beige background saying calling you an idiot insults all stupid people. Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.

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    #8

    The Best Insults That Are Brutal But Brilliant

    Quote on a red background saying I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you, related to insulting skill and best insults. I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.

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    #9

    A witty insult on a green background illustrating insulting as a skill with a clever pillow-related jab. May both sides of your pillow be uncomfortably warm.

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    #10

    Insulting skill quote on a beige background asking about getting tired of putting makeup on two faces every morning. Don’t you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning?

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    #11

    Insulting skill quote on a green background about education and ignorance, showcasing one of the best insults to master. I’m glad to see you’re not letting education get in the way of your ignorance.

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    #12

    Insulting skill quote on red background stating happiness is feeling emotional when someone is not around. I get so emotional when you're not around. That emotion is happiness.

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    #13

    Pink background with a witty insult text showing insulting as a skill for mastering clever comebacks. I am returning your nose. I found it in my business.

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    #14

    Yellow background with a sarcastic insult quote about jealousy, demonstrating skillful insulting and witty phrasing. I’m jealous of all the people who haven’t met you.

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    #15

    Bold insult text on a red background highlighting skillful insulting with a humorous comparison to period cramps. You are the human version of period cramps.

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    #16

    Insulting skill quote on a pink background saying two brain cells are fighting for third place to master insults. You've only got 2 brain cells and they are both fighting for 3rd place.

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    #17

    Insulting skill example with humorous text on green background about using whole vocabulary in one sentence. Isn’t it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence?

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    #18

    Insulting skill showcased with a clever phrase about telling a therapist, highlighting best insults to master. I told my therapist about you.

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    #19

    Pink image with a witty insult quote showcasing insulting as a skill and the art of mastering clever insults. You are proof God has a sense of humor.

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    #20

    Light green background with a playful insult text illustrating insulting as a skill to master, from boredpanda.com. I bet your mom doesn’t put your coloring pages on the fridge.

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    #21

    Insulting skill quote on a beige background saying thinking of you reminded me to take out the trash. I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.

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    #22

    The Best Insults That Are So Good, They Should Be Illegal

    Insulting skill example with a humorous insult comparing usefulness to an ashtray on a motorcycle on a red background. You’re about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.

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    #23

    Pink text graphic with a humorous insult designed for mastering insulting as a skill, referencing Stephen King and nightmares. You're so ugly even Stephen King has nightmares about you.

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    #24

    Insulting skill example with a sarcastic joke about being born on a highway where most accidents happen. You must have been born on a highway. That’s where most accidents happen.

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    #25

    Insulting skill illustrated with a witty quote about knowing everything and referencing Google on a pink background. Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.

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    #26

    Witty insult text on a green background demonstrating skillful insulting for mastering the best insults. If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant.

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    #27

    A colorful insult quote displayed on a red background demonstrating insulting as a skill with a playful cupcake metaphor. You’re a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.

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    #28

    Insulting skill showcased with a witty remark about hair and nostrils on a beige background with white text. I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that?

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    #29

    Insulting skill example with humorous phrase about smelling like hot dog water on pink background. Yeah? Well, you smell like hot dog water.

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