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“I Started A Dumpster Fire”: 25 Big Ways Folks Messed Up That They’ll Only Reveal On Their Deathbed
Everything in this world, good and bad, eventually comes to the same end. And after many years (let's hope that after many), in the face of the inevitable and unknown, we finally admit what we once did, long ago, and for which we have been incredibly regretful for many years and even decades.
In fact, none of us are sinless, and each of us has a story behind us (and some have more than one) where our actions were as far from the moral ideal as Shedeur Sanders - from the first pick in the NFL draft. But some are still willing to share these stories online - of course, on the condition of complete anonymity.
More info: Reddit
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#1
I pushed the school bully off the top of the big slide, he broke his arm and no one believed him when he accused me cause I was a 5yrs younger, tiny and a good kid, and I’ve never regretted it.
RELATED:
#2
I had a really troubled childhood and drank a lot in high school and first three years of college. HEAVY. I am no longer that person. But anyway, senior year of high school I went to a concert with friends and got so messed up I got kicked out of the concert. My friends stayed and I guess my plan was to sleep it off in the car - I didn’t do that. I have vague memories of running around the surrounding neighborhood knocking on peoples doors (? Who knows why honestly) and I remember one very sweet family answered the door sat me in their living room gave me water while I sobbed (? Again why) and they called the cops to deal with me. I’m lucky this was not current times where people are not always so nice. The cop called my parents they picked me up. I am still too this day so mortified about my nonsense impeding on this family late at night. I pray only good things for that family every day.
#3
I was using the laundromat at my university's dorms, and one of my tops fell half out making the door not sealed but still locked.
Long story short, the place was flooded, I tried stopping the machine, but couldn't, I tried calling the number of the machine, no one answered.
I tried to clean it but didn't have anything to do it with so when the machine finished I took my clothes abd skedaddled out of there.
LizzieBoredom 8 months ago
After he created a flood, God instructed Noah to repopulate the Earth so I hope you laundered your party clothes.
Bi.Felicia 8 months ago
(2/2) I asked him to stop beating on the washer and I'll just wait a little bit for someone to call back. I was looking online to see if I could find any info to fix this and suddenly I hear the lock disengage with water pouring down onto the floor and guy says oh shît as he jumps back. He somehow managed to get the door shut/locked again but the entire area of machines was soaked. Luckily there was a broom and a mop,as well as a metal trash can, which we used to try and clean up all the water. While we are kinda freaking out while picking up the water, we realize that the washer machine was running. As we are cleaning some man is walking towards the laundromat and I thought it was one of the people that I called about the washer, as he opens the door he realizes he meant to go into the place next door, thankfully. By the time I left there, with my clean/dried laundry, you couldn't even tell that we flooded the place, except that the floor was really clean. I've never gone back.
Brian Droste 8 months ago
All the laundry mats I have been in have a sink of some kind. Did this one not have one?
Load More Replies... Bi.Felicia 8 months ago (edited)
(1/2) Something similar happened to me. I was doing laundry at a Laundromat that I had never been to before. When I got there, I had the place to myself for all of 5-10 minutes until a guy came to do his laundry. There were no employees there just notes posted to each machine with info and a number to call if you have any issues. So I start the washer and the guy and I made small talk for a bit. After the washer stopped I went to get my clothes out but the door was locked. I noticed that the screen changed from saying 'done/0' back to saying it had 3 minutes left until the cycle was done. So I said something to the other guy doing laundry about the washer acting weird, the screen said 3 mins but the washer wasn't doing anything. This guy tries to get the lock to disengage anyway he can, I told him not to worry about it and I was calling the number on the machine. Of course nobody answered any of the numbers posted and as I'm making these calls he's doing all he can to get the door to open.
Brian Droste 8 months ago
Well at least you tried to get a hold of someone. It is not like you did it on purpose and then left.
This selection of ours is based on this thread in the AskReddit community, where a couple of days ago the user u/deadend-decendant asked netizens: "What’s the worst f**k up you’ve had that you’ll admit on your death bed?"
Of course, some of the hundreds of stories told here (out of a total of 2.8K comments) were obviously made up, but most of those we picked seem 100% true. And over 9.5K upvotes in the original thread only emphasize its virality.
#4
Literally every relationship before therapy.
It took me far too long to realize that if everyone smells like s**t, I should check my own shoes.
Catlady6000 8 months ago
It can take a lot of time and effort to develop self awareness
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The Majestic Opossum 8 months ago
Good on you for getting the help you need and being so open and honest with yourself now! Also, love that phrase!! Have been wishing for years to find a way to say that, what a gift.
#5
I got blamed for pushing a guy down the stairs after he tried to fight me. Had a few witnesses back me up saying he slipped. Ended up in a wheelchair for a while.
I pushed him.
Lee Gilliland 8 months ago
I HATED that song, we had one guy that played it over and over at least five times anight.
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Nicole Weymann 8 months ago
Fúck around with people and find out they won't stick up for you. 🤷
Brian Droste 8 months ago
Did he deserved it? Was he incapacitated in some way that caused him to want him to fight you?
#6
Tried to unclog a toilet at a party. Made it worse. Blamed it on a guy who left before me. Everyone still calls him “Sh*tstorm Steve.” Sorry, Steve.
Linda 8 months ago
If a plunger is not available using a toilet brush like a plunger will work. Might have to "plunge" it a little more but it does work.
Martin König 8 months ago
Or if yu don't have toilet paper, you can also use the brush. As a plunger, of course.
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Pyla 8 months ago
I might have posted this before, but my friend was infatuated with this kid and brought him over to his cousins house for a low key Saturday backyard picnic. The infatuatee (is that a word?) went to the guest bathroom and decided to sit down and get comfy on the toilet to drop the kids off at the pool. I guess as he was settling in, he leaned back to relax (a casual survey of my friends has not yield a one of them who does this)....Anyhow, the tank tilted back and broke off. Infatuatee was very embarrassed, my friend and his cousins were mortified and trying to find an emergency plumber on the weekend was a real nightmare. Somehow the Aunt and uncle never found out....Infatuatee was soon disbanded from my friend's life. It never would have worked, but the whole busting the tank part still kind of shocked him.
DennyS (denzoren) 8 months ago
D**n...Steve got wrongfully accused and still paying the price.
superfluous 8 months ago
It's going to be a chore with that plunger in the pic - that's for sinks. Need to use a plunger with a f****e.
Blue Bunny of Happiness 8 months ago
BP, did you really have to censor the word flute? I have no idea what the actual word is…
Load More Replies...Most of the stories presented in this collection really don't present the storytellers favorably, and some of them are simply embarrassing. In some of the situations described, people simply shifted their own blame onto others (and then, years and years later, wanted to apologize to them). In some - they simply created a huge mess - sometimes just funny.
But a separate category is made up of stories where a person, for one reason or another, caused pain and suffering to another one. For example, by leaving their significant others or treating them badly - for a completely insignificant reason or for no reason at all. But then, years and years later, people do regret it.
#7
I once hit “Reply All” on a company-wide email... to complain about the company.
Spent the next 2 hours updating my resume and sweating through my soul.
Brian Droste 8 months ago
What happened. Did OP able to keep his job or did he get fired? Way I am reading this is he was able to keep his job.
Tom De Paul 8 months ago
I once sent clinical progress notes to my supervisor using my S&M screen name, "whupyerass@***.com
#8
Leaving Cathy. She was a good person, kind, generous and caring. I was an a*****e at the time and very much into me. I regret it every single day and wish I could tell her how sorry I am.
Update - wow I'm totally blown away by the responses to this. To those who have, thank you.
Quick summary. I'm very happy in my current relationship and Cathy is and always will be my greatest f**k-up and regret til the day I die. She didn't deserve the way I treated her when we broke up.
To one commenter, yeah she probably doesn't want to see me ever again and maybe she doesn't want to be found. Honestly, I wouldn't blame her.
To Cathy. I don't have the words to express how sorry I am for how I treated you. I can't begin to imagine how you felt that day and I realized too late that nobody, especially you, should ever be treated like that. I wish you happiness.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 months ago
I highly doubt that this random anonymous Reddit comment is about you specifically.
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#9
I know a funeral director that accidentally cremated someone that wanted to be buried.
DennyS (denzoren) 8 months ago (edited)
I mean, I'd rather it be this way than buried when I wanted to be cremated...cause I don't have siblings so don't want to be buried and forgotten. Just toss my ashes in the ocean let me live with the fishes.
Lady Eowyn 8 months ago
As long as someone uses one of the quilts I've made, read one of the books I've written, I won't be forgotten.
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Billo66 8 months ago
Oh man I read a story on here about a dude who took a nap in one of those furnace things and his co-worker didn't know and turned it on. I don't know how true that is but can you imagine?
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Martin König 8 months ago (edited)
Have a story about many of my cre,ated or buried friedns who actually wanted to live.
"What is good news is that people still realize their mistakes, even after a long time," says Maria Kryvosheeva, a psychologist and NLP coach, with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment here. "And, as we all perhaps know, recognizing and accepting your own mistake is the first step to solving the problem. Even if it's just an anonymous online thread."
"After all, none of us are perfect, we all make mistakes. And what we may consider incredibly funny or completely harmless to other people quite possibly becomes the cause of serious trauma for them. So it is always worth thinking of the possible consequences of your actions."
#10
In 3rd grade I said something to a kid that was in trouble that made him go off even more, I think he got expelled and I don’t remember what I said exactly. I’m sorry Troy :(.
#11
A lot of people clogging toilets, g*****n.
Anyway, I was 4 yrs old and set fire to some weeds near my grandparents house and almost burned the whole farm down. The fire fighters came and put everything out, took them awhile to combat the blaze. They put it out and absolutely no one asked me anything, cause I was 4, I guess. I wonder if my grandparents knew to an extent. Probably.
Beak Hookage 8 months ago
I blame the morons who didn't keep whatever it was this kid used out of their reach.
Nicole Weymann 8 months ago
They may have been idiots - but then I've seen some agile and quick 4 YOs in my time, and keeping every potentially harmful thing out of their reach is impossible unless you resort to bondage or 24/7 surveillance.
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KatSaidWhat 8 months ago
It is debatable whether or not I set an empty plot on fire flicking matches age 12. I hope it was coincidence. On the plus side, the grass grew back a lot better.
Todd Kirkwood 8 months ago
I forgive you as long as you paid your taxes and didn't vote orange
#12
Ruined a relationship with a perfect girl back in 2000 as I was trying to get my foot in the door towards the UFC. Was training like a mad man, messed myself up in the head real good and just distanced myself from everyone. Ended up getting 2nd place in a major tournament (needed first to advance) and tore my shoulder. My journey ended there. Broken, defeated and lost the one person who cared about me the most. Still think about her to this day.
Magenta Blu 8 months ago
I can't believe they regret what they did. I think they regret been defeated, not what they did to their partner
"In addition, everyone has a completely different sense of humor - and what may seem funny and laughable to you, for others, may become a reason for emotional experience and suffering. Therefore, the 'first think, and then do or say,' rule is always relevant. And especially in many situations described here," Maria concludes.
Experts also believe that many thoughtless and irrational actions are caused by narratives that live inside us: for example, the fear of being called out or punished for doing (or not doing) something, the fear of being alone when leaving a toxic relationship, or the desire to get some attention, even if it's negative, from others.
#13
My dog got sprayed by a skunk when I was in middle school and he rubbed a bit against my backpack when he ran in freaking out. I tried to not bring the backpack to school but I had so much stuff that I had no choice and my mom was having none of it. The lockers at school were in bays so they were backed up against each other. I shoved the backpack in my locker when it was empty and it got a lot of attention from students and faculty for how bad the smell was. The smell was blamed on these two popular girls who had their locker backed up against mine. As their bay had most of the scent for some reason. I pulled my backpack out later and it hardly smelled at all for some reason. Almost as if the skunk stank literally drifted from my bag to their locker. Never got caught for it.
Joshua David 8 months ago
Happened to me once in middle school. Not with a skunk but with built up paper lunches in my locker that i didnt eat. I always bought snacks in the ala carte line in the cafeteria lol! Yep. Left them there for MONTHS and on locker clean out day EVERYONE in my hall was wondering where that smell was coming from. People blaming peoples shoes, people yelling about it. I said nothing. Why did I even do that I wonder? I was 11.
#14
I was 14 at a baby shower and there was a little girl (probably 5) and her mom who sat next to me, this was when filters on Snapchat were popular and kids love filters so we started to play with them. Well there was a bald filter, I did it on me and she laughed so I did it on her, the mom saw it and said “oh she probably doesn’t like that, she used to have cancer so seeing the bald head makes her sad” oh. my. gosh. I’m actually cringing typing this out I feel like a terrible person.
#15
When I was in 5th grade, my friend brought a pretty powerful magnet to school.
We then found out it messes with the monitors if you gloss over it real quick with the magnet.
We did this to the entire computer lab. Had no idea it broke the monitors and we never spoke about it again after that lmao.
detective miller's hat 8 months ago (edited)
Reminds me of the time my friend and I destroyed the computer lab in high school. We were in there during lunch to finish up a project or something. I'm typing away on one computer while friend is messing around playing solitaire on the computer next to me. At one point she selects every icon on the desktop (which was shortcuts to pretty much every single program on the computer) and I said "what would happen if you hit Enter?" So she did. In its attempt to open every single program simultaneously, the computer froze, made a strange noise, and then the screen went black. Then the other computers started acting funny. We booked it back to the cafeteria and found out later the computer lab had to be shut down for like 2 days while the computer teacher tried to figure wtf happened.
Tim Douglass 8 months ago
Sometimes. It depends on how much damage was done.
Load More Replies... Dawn Marie 8 months ago
Everyone thinks these type things are so funny. Wait until you are caught one day and have to foot the bill for the for the entire computer lab. You won't think it is so funny then. I am sure the school board didn't think it was funny when they had to replace all those monitors.
Lee Gilliland 8 months ago
There was this magnet toy set which were popular for kids in the 80s that caused such immense damage to CRTs (cathode ray tubes) they were forced to take it off the market.
Huddo's sister 8 months ago
I had one that was a magnet base with metal objects you could sculpt on top (it was 2000s though) and didn't know it could be a problem to tvs. I had it sitting in front of mine for ages before a green spot appeared in the corner of the screen. Thankfully the tv still worked.
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Therefore, it's vitally important to be able to recognize such narratives in your life and distinguish them from rational patterns of behavior, but at the same time, to not succumb to excessive feelings of guilt.
"Hold yourself accountable for the decisions/actions you regret, but don’t beat yourself up. That doesn’t help anyone," Evan Shopper, LICSW, a therapist, writer, and parenting educator in Western Massachusetts, writes in his dedicated article on Psychology Today.
"Instead, be curious about yourself and explore what narratives are interfering with how and who you want to be in the world."
#16
I stole a kids playset once.
Answered an ad on craigslist to pickup free kids wooden playhouse/swingset. Got the street right but must have gotten the house numbers mixed up. Pulled up to a house I thought was it, knocked on the door and no one answered, disassembled the playground and threw it in the trailer.
Several hours later I got an email from the Craigslist person b******g that I never showed up.
EDIT: no I never gave it back. I never responded to the email. Too much embarrassment. All i did was go back a couple weeks later and confirm my screw up. The house still had an empty mulch pit from their missing set. I do remember seeing a bunch of small kids toys in their yard and thought it strange they were getting rid of their playhouse. To this day my wife and kids have no idea they are playing on stolen goods. I’ve contemplated randomly putting it back in their yard a dozen years later to make it right.
My buddy who helped has since moved to another part of the country. Every 8 months or so I get a text saying “just told the story again - never gets old” .
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 8 months ago
You couldn't have stuffed an envelope of cash through their letter box or something? Real d**k move
Zoe Vokes 8 months ago
The one they were picking up was free, so they might have had no spare money, but they could easily have returned it with an apology.
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Zoe Vokes 8 months ago
I agree. I can’t believe they didn’t knock on the door and say sorry and return it or if they were too much of a coward to do that then at least return it to the backyard with a note.
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#17
When I was in 5th grade, I thought it'd be cool to light a single match and casually walk away.
Except instead of a small dramatic flame, I accidentally roasted the entire huge front yard of a massive Soviet apartment block.
When I came back the next day, every blade of grass was crispy black, with the unexpected bonus of a thoroughly barbecued car sitting right in the middle.
Vermonta 8 months ago
I hope you aren't playing with matches anymore. Last Friday night I watched a major fire in a building next to mine. 50+ people need a place to live.
Judy Reynolds 7 months ago
I told my kids if they ever wanted to play with matches to tell me, and we would get a bucket of water and sit in the middle of the asphalt driveway and light all the matches they wanted. They never asked, though.
Billo66 8 months ago
Being curious I lit a match in second grade but blew it out right away. I was surprised it lit as I had found them wet, on the playground. They had dried out in my desk. Anyway, the smell got me and in 1973 they were still allowed to beat the tar out of you in school. So I stood in front of the class, being paddled, while every teacher on the floor filed past to watch my punishment. ..I did not light anything else in school untill High School. Different story.
#18
Many years ago I had to provide a urine sample at the doctors. The nurse led me into the nurses desk area and told me to wait there, so I put my wee sample on the little work station whilst I found something in my bag.
I knocked that thing over and it spilled everywhere. All over paperwork, the pen pot, files, the lot. P**s everywhere. I'm there trying to mop it up and a guy in a suit runs past me with a sample cup and narrowly misses bashing into me.
The nurse comes out maybe 30 seconds later and looks pissed off when she sees the mess. I blamed it on the guy that came out almost running into me.
Brian Droste 8 months ago
Didn't OP have to cap it or put a top on It? All the time I had to give a sample I had to cap it. That would surely help to prevent it from spilling all over.
However, some of the stories told in this collection are truly nothing but amusing - and although people are sincerely ashamed of how they behaved in the described situation, sometimes it's difficult to hold back a smile. Such a wide range of tales is another confirmation that our life is an incredibly complex and multifaceted thing. And that makes it even more exciting to live it...
So now, please feel free to scroll this list to the end, and maybe add some of your own stories in the comments below the post - in case you also have something related to say here.
#19
We had s*x and fell asleep immediately after. I got up in the middle of the night, and saw a brown puddle in the sheets. Right after that I got dressed, left silently, and I haven’t contacted the guy since.
#20
Telling my friend I was gay and had feelings for him. He’s still nice to me, but it’s different.
Bi.Felicia 8 months ago
The friend might be gay but maybe isn't into OP like that/not attracted to him or doesn't want to ruin the friendship?
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#21
I s**t my pants on the playground in 3rd grade because the substitute teacher wouldn’t let me back inside.
When we finally went back inside I made a beeline to the toilet, trashed my underwear and desperately tried to clean out my shorts, to no avail. They were black so they didn’t show the obvious poop stains.
We had to line up on the second square from the wall going back into class and the person behind me loudly stated that someone “smelled like c**p”. I “jokingly”blamed the class pariah and everyone ran with it. He got made fun of the rest of the year but it was actually me
My bad Robert.
Lee Gilliland 8 months ago
No, the teacher's bad and she should have lost her license. Torturing kids with bathroom games is unforgivable and your parents should have sued the teacher, the school, and the school board. WHAT AN A*SHOLE.
Jen D. 8 months ago
The fact that you, and so many other people, think that the school board, who was in no way involved, should be sued is a prime example of why teachers get paid so little and why some don't care like they should: they can't afford it anymore because you're suing all the wrong people. You want better teaches, get off you sue-happy high horse and stop punishing those who weren't even involved. This was an individual's fault, not the school's or the board's
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Zoe Vokes 8 months ago
One of my first memories is that I didn’t make it to the toilet once when I was in primary school (I guess 5/6 years old) because we were outside playing sports. And being a child I obviously didn’t think to clean it up. The teachers asked us all, “why did someone p*o on the floor?” Did they expect someone to admit to it in front of everybody?
#22
I was overbearing with someone who could've potentially been the love of my life. I've never been like that ever. But essentially it was a complex result of me not respecting some of my own boundaries that I usually would, and going too fast after a relatively recent break up.
I should have told her how I felt, but also that I wasn't quite ready early on. All of this could have been avoided.
Motivated sloth 8 months ago
Rebound romance can really mess you up. I still cringe about an ex I dated after a breakup. I cannot believe I tried to have a serious relationship with that loser.
Delicate Fcuking Flower 8 months ago
This may make me sound evil but at least you used the rebound feelings on someone unworthy rather than effing up with a decent person. I speak from experience lol
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#23
I was driving a short bus to take some kids on a field trip. I’m a teacher, not a bus driver, but generally a very good driver and no idea what I was thinking. And to be fair, it was a newer bus and was bigger than the older ones. But before I picked up the kids, pulled into the parking lot, thought I could get through, and when I realized it was a tighter squeeze than I thought, instead of backing out and going the long way around, I decided to try anyway. I scraped against someone’s car. This was at my school, a very small school with like 25 staff. The front of the school is all huge windows, and the office staff face them all day. Somehow no one saw what happened. I backed out, went on with my day and never said a thing, and never heard anyone mention damage to their car.
Trisec Tebeakesse 8 months ago
Not noted if the driver had a CDL and School Bus endorsement or not. If you didn't - well, you'd be in a world of hurt if you got caught.
Ron Man 8 months ago (edited)
No CDL required to drive a short bus, it's a van. School Bus endorsement may be something in your state, but it's not in most.
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#24
Back in the nineties I traded my foiled zapdos for a foiled blastoise I was young and naive and unaware, the moment trade was done the kid whipped out his card binder flipped through the entire thing and there was one empty spot left out of original 151 pokemon and slipped my card into the only empty spot. He completed the collection. Everyone erupted with applause and congratulated him with me standing there in disbelief he didn't even mention Jack s**t to me about that. I got hustled hard. I will regret this until the day I die.
Trisec Tebeakesse 8 months ago
Words have been typed here, but I have no idea what any of this means.
Jonathan Li 8 months ago
But foiled Blastoise is worth more, so you technically did make some profit there
#25
Clogged the toilet with toilet paper at my new job at a school two weeks in. Left the mess there like nothing happened cause I didn't know what to do.
Later, a coworker was complaining to me about a little girl who'd clogged the toilet and kept denying it and lying to get out of trouble when she was told off.
The little girl wasn't lying. It wasn't her. I did it.
I felt sorry, but didn't bother correcting my coworker.
Beak Hookage 8 months ago
So you threw a little kid under the bus. Yeah, screw you, you f*****g coward. The "didn't bother" line just seals it that this person is a selfish jerk.
What do you think ?
char 8 months ago
if they were planning to keep these secrets until they died, why'd they share them publicly on the internet, huh????
LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 months ago
Probably because they're using random Reddit usernames/throwaway accounts that no one will actually connect to their real-life identities, so they can anonymously get stuff off their chest and confess things they've done XD It can be cathartic for some people.
Load More Replies... char 8 months ago
if they were planning to keep these secrets until they died, why'd they share them publicly on the internet, huh????
LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 months ago
Probably because they're using random Reddit usernames/throwaway accounts that no one will actually connect to their real-life identities, so they can anonymously get stuff off their chest and confess things they've done XD It can be cathartic for some people.
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