Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
Alcohol and good decisions have never been best friends. Nothing shuts down spatial awareness and critical thinking faster than ten shots of tequila—which, as you can imagine, rarely ends well.
But if there’s one upside to a tipsy disaster, it’s the legendary story you’ll (hopefully) remember well enough to tell later or at least have a friend remind you.
From TikTok to Reddit, people have been spilling the worst things they’ve done while completely hammered, and the results are equal parts hilarious and mildly tragic. Scroll down to see them all, and if you’ve got a story to rival these, we want to hear it.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Wrecked my car, woke up in the ICU with a tube down my throat and a thermometer up my a*s. Obviously got a pretty serious dui with a blood alcohol level of .366. The bright side? 2 days later, while I was still in the hospital, I called a treatment center and was accepted into their program. 1 year 5 months later I’m still sober.
RELATED:
#2
Woke up with a matching tramp stamp with my best friend. We’re dudes.
#3
Drunk Me hides my things all. the. time. I wake up in the morning, head throbbing. Can't find my keys or my wallet or my purse or my shoes.
Where's my keys? Oh look, it totally makes sense that they're in the freezer inside of the bag of frozen fruit. My wallet is in that bag of DVDs that I haven't looked at since I moved into my apartment. One shoe is on the kitchen counter, the other one is tucked under a blanket by the front door. WHY do I even have a blanket by the front door?! WHO KNOWS.
#4
I was at a friend’s house and i was hugging her dog for two hours while crying because dogs don’t talk. My friend had to call my then boyfriend and another friend to calm me down (her mom was laughing)
#5
Got drunk at my friend's house and accidentally got into his parents' bed w them.
#6
Climbed on someone’s roof, fell asleep. Woke up when the sun came up crying because I’m scared of heights and didn’t know how to get down 😂
#7
Not the worst thing, but the most recent. I ordered wings last night and saved sober me some in the fridge. Sober me came downstairs this morning, opened the fridge and saw a to go box, full of bones. An investigation revealed I'd thrown away the wings and refrigerated the bones.
#8
Bouncer kicked us out of the club cause I looked too drunk so I did a cartwheel in my very short dress to prove I wasn’t. Flashed everyone.
#9
Woke up to 20 dollars in my wallet, thought to myself "F**k yeah, I left with $60 so I only spent $40."
Look at bank account and realize I took out $200 more throughout the night. D**n you drunk me, D**n youu!
Bartlet for world domination 3 months ago
What do we call the color of that shirt? To me, it's aubergine, but the more search terms I know, the better :)
#10
On a drunken shopping spree with my mate, I bought a sh**load women’s bras and panties - rushed home so I could try them on, and fell asleep pretty soon afterwards. Next day when my Girlfriend came to visit, I had a pretty tough time explaining I wasn’t cheating on her.
I am male.
I also had to explain why I bought these clothes. This was much harder. To this day, I still have no f*****g clue.
Ellinor she/they/elle 3 months ago
Maybe a repressed gender complexity ? Or a repressed kink ? Or both ?
#11
Drove a car.
I came out of the darkness after I hopped a curb and hit a tree going 45. My airbag didn't go off but I was wearing a seatbelt. If I wasn't wearing it I'm sure I'd be dead. I feel lucky every day because that easily could have been a car with a family in it. I should be in jail.
In short, there's never a good reason to drive drunk. Take a cab, have a DD (a real designated driver not a designated drunk driver), or walk. One night of fun isn't worth k*****g other people or yourself. You could end up regretting it for the rest of your life.
#12
Most people get drunk at a bar and maybe blow some money in their wallet on drinks for their friends or girls. Maybe you buy a stranger a drink because you are feeling nice. Maybe you get real crazy and buy everyone in the bar a shot! Me? No. I BOUGHT THE BAR. Like literally. I owned a bar for about a week until the original owner decided he wanted it back and i gladly sold it back to him.
Huddo's sister 3 months ago
And I thought my sister was bad, getting drinks for everyone in the place (and managing to remember her 17 digit PIN to pay for them while drunk)!
#13
Poured 2 containers of bubble bath into an inner city fountain before walking away and coming back an hour later to find it over flowing with bubbles. Then proceeded to skinny dip in said fountain.
#14
When the uber driver dropped me off I ripped my false lashes, gave them to him, and said good night and left🙂
#15
Lost my keys, called a 24hr locksmith at 2am to get into my apartment, and then hooked up with the locksmith.
#16
I woke up recently with an unopened btl of vodka and a perfectly preserved Big Mac in my sock drawer.
Drunk Con normally looks after sober Con lol.
#17
When I was in college my ex girlfriend and I were really drunk at a house party at the campus house of a few guys I knew and ended up writing on the walls with permanent marker.
I found out the next day from a mutual friend what we had done and immediately went over, apologized, and promised to come back later to get it all off.
I bought a bunch of cleaners and spent a few hours getting every thing off their walls, even if I didn't do it, because I felt so bad.
#18
Walked into my neighbors LIVING ROOM (uninvited) to say hi because I noticed that their lights were still on. On a Monday night.
#19
Got my heel caught in a drain and tried to casually walk off and took the drain cover with me and continued to walk 😂
#20
Got drunk, went to a taco shop, loudly exclaimed "f**k these tacos are awesome!" and then wrote a $400 tip on the tip line of my receipt. I honestly don't remember if I meant to actually tip 400 since the tacos were so good, or 4.00 and forgot the decimal, but I was able to get the charge reversed luckily since I was a poor college kid who didn't even have $400 in my account. S**t a brick when I woke up to overdraft alerts on my phone though.
#21
Got so incredibly drunk I ended up knocking over a row of motorbikes (more specifically, scooters; The ones they have all over Asia). Not my proudest moment. Attempted to make a get away, and while in my head I thought I'd got away scot free, I only crawled roughly 4 meters from the scene of the crime, and attempted to hide behind a bush that was much, much smaller than I was. Needless to say, got punched, and had to fork over some cash.
#22
my ex called the cops on me to check on me.. they came in my room and i tried to flirt with them 😔
#23
Lost the the keys for a car I bought the night that I bought it.
FML.
#24
I found a tire in the parking lot of my apartment complex, I carried it to my neighbors door, knocked, and rolled it in when they opened the door and ran.
#25
I had just passed out and I must have gotten up to go pee, but the only thing I remember is being in the attic squatting and when I stood up my foot fell through the ceiling.
The next morning I woke up with scratches and bruises all down my leg and a huge hole in the ceiling with a pee stain around it. I honestly don't remember how I got up there.
What's crazy about it is, you had to walk through our closet on the other side of the room and climb a flight of stairs to get to the attic. The bathroom was 4 feet away from where I was sleeping.
#26
My friend and I were at a party where the host happened to have stick n poke tattoo stuff. We couldn't come up with a best friend design to get, so we decided to not get tattoos. A little while (and more tequila) later, I see my friend on the couch getting Nicolas Cage's initials on his hip. There was no way I was getting that, but I did get a small triangle on my arm in solidarity. Reason I got a triangle? I wanted to connect my freckles. Luckily sober me wasn't mad and I still laugh about it 5 years later.
#27
Ubered myself to my ex's house without permission and he came home from work and I was just in his bed.
#28
I thought my Xbox broke cause it wasn’t ejecting the disk, and drunk me thinks he’s a technical genius, so he tried to fix it.
Sober me found my Xbox in pieces the next morning, and spent $60 to get it repaired. Oh, and there was never even a disk stuck in it.
#29
I had an interview for a job I thought was cool and it was really close, I'm talking walking distance. I had a bad day the day prior so I decided to drink A LOT. I got the most drunk I've ever been and decided to go for a walk and some fried chicken. I sit down at a random company's outside lunch area (I live near an industrial kind of place. Lot of companies and no houses) and just talked to myself and ate the chicken until a security guard kicked me out. Fast forward tomorrow, to my horror, my gps takes me to the same exact place and the security guard on duty is the same guy. I didn't get a call back from them.
Pittsburgh rare 3 months ago
"I had a bad day the day prior so I decided to drink A LOT" I think I have the root cause of your problems
#30
Went to my ex's house, took his phone left mine there, and accused him of stealing my phone.
Sara Frazer 3 months ago
When in reality you stole his phone...maybe you should chill on the booze for a while, get some therapy.. 😂
#31
I wandered off from the club into a social club for old people that was all playing bingo, they had food out of the table so I ran in took loads in my hand starting shouting bingo numbers then ran off.
#32
Heard a random person playing loud music at 4am and asked if i could join them…went into the flat and just hung out with a stranger.
#33
Ate a fruit salad consisting of red and purple berries. I then got so drunk that I couldn't make it to the bathroom, so I leaned over the edge of my bed and puked up pink vomit on my white carpet. I was also too drunk to clean it up, so I put a towel on top and left it for Sober Me to clean. Sober Me also woke up to a black eye, which I apparently gave myself by hitting my face on the side table while puking.
#34
YEA! Finally! Anyway. I was drinking with my cousin and we had way to much I can't remember anything but I woke up in a Buddhist temple in robes none of my normal clothes any were to be found. Apparently they found me walking the streets naked with a rose trying to chat up a car... My cousin woke up 150km away at his parents house in his swag with a sun flower and a post from a white picket fence... Good times
Edit: still have no idea where the sunflower or picket fence came from but I did find my phone! It was at the bar where we started :/.
#35
I used to have a bar of dove soap that I kept in a drawer, and I would take a bite out of it every time I got drunk, and then forget about it the next day (until the next time I drank) 😭
#36
I thought I was Meredith grey and kept telling everyone about med school (never been) and people started to think I had schizophrenia.
#37
Cried so hard, about a guy I had just met that night in nashville, that the cab driver let us go for free🤭
#38
decided to chase a pigeon in heels still waiting for the bus home and fell flat on my face, it was 8am it was daylight people were out doing their morning food shopping 😭😭
#39
Thought I was keying a car that belonged to a bully from high school (this we a year after highschool) but i ended up keying a car belonging to my boss at a job i worked at. He comes in raging someone keyed his car and then i saw it in the parking lot.
#40
I put a glass half full of vodka next to the bathroom sink and forgot about it. The next morning, while hungover, I thought it was water and took a swig. I promptly started vomiting all over my bathroom.
#41
Unironically decided to speak in a posh British accent for the rest of the night, stayed out until 8am, got home and threw up in my washing basket 🥲
#42
My drunk friend called my teacher who lives next door to invite him to hang out with us. His wife picked up and wasn’t very happy about it.
#43
I came home super wasted and my roommate saw me laugh and say this a*****e will never find this as I threw my wallet against the wall making it fall behind the couch.
Samantha H 3 months ago
This one gave me a good laugh, and I am really glad I don't drink Alcohol :)
#44
Last time I went out drinking by myself I lost my wallet, my glasses and me eCig.
The time before that that I went out drinking by myself, I lost my phone and my hat.
A couple of years ago, I sent a message to the hot woman at work about how much I liked me.
#45
Got in a legit fight with a good friend. Like punches thrown after he dragged me out of the car for messing with him too much. He was hammered too.
All things good now, this was years ago in college. He had me in his wedding and I'm heading over to his house tonight to cut up a tree that fell in his backyard due to a storm last night. Gotta have the place looking nice for our July 4th party next week!
**EDIT:** Just to add, neither one of us were driving. I was in the trunk of a 4 runner and he was in the passenger side back seat. We dropped him off at his place and he dragged me out of the trunk. We got into it and after it was over, he was walking in to his apt and I was told I was yelling horrible things at him as he walked in. This was at like 3 in the morning.
#46
Invited a sibling I cut ties with to my house, for a family thing with other siblings. I did not want them to come and am honestly fine with never seeing them again. Stupid drunk me thought I should give them a chance. Fool.
#47
Probably the worst thing was losing my entire wallet including my driver's license and military ID in college, when I was an out of state student. I had to get my passport mailed to me so I could fly home for Thanksgiving break 700 miles away and get a new driver's license at the DMV. In today's world getting new debit/credit cards is so easy but losing all of your identification is a b***h.
#48
Jumped out of a moving car because I was being forced to go home.
#49
Climbed onto the roof of a random person’s garage cause they were having a house party and I thought if they saw me on the roof they might invite me in 💀
#50
Stuck me with an expensive hotel bill and taxi ride.
I was on a trip to Kandas City with one group of friends and had been drinking all day when I ran into a guy and his wife that I also am friends with. They were going to go to the downtown part district where their hotel was and my other group of friends was just wanting to go back to the hotel in another part of the city. I decided to continue drinking and everyone agreed that we would meet up at the baseball game the next day so I could ride back home with the people I came down with.
The problem was I kept drinking and ended up walking off by myself and lost track of where the husband and wife were. I stumbled around the streets looking for their hotel and thought I had found it (a Marriott) but actually was at an Embassy Suites. I was hanging out in the lobby when I was finally told that I needed to get a room or leave. I got a room and woke up at about 11:30 the next morning to a horrible hangover and huge bill.
Keep in mind that this was before cellphones, so I couldn't just call or text everyone. I tried calling both hotels where I knew my friends were staying, but they had already checked out because of the time. I had to call a cab to take me to the baseball stadium, while trying not to dry heave the entire time.
Some guy outside the stadium took pity on me and gave me a ticket to the game, but I had no idea where any of my friends were sitting. I was just trying to figure out how to make contact with someone when I heard my name from behind me. Turns out the original group of friends I came down with had bought tickets that day that ended up being a few rows behind the free one I was given.
Disaster was avoided, but I think i saw about 2 of the 15 runs that were scored in the game because i spent most of it dry heaving in the bathroom.
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
The Starsong Princess 3 months ago
I sat on the steps of my university residence and cried because my key didn’t work and I couldn’t get in. I was pulling the door instead of pudhing.
Huddo's sister 3 months ago
Last time I was drunk I just kept talking about myself in the third person and saying no one liked drunk me.
Samantha H 3 months ago
My ex Husband (who rarely drank Alcohol) got a bit tipsy then decided after our BBQ to paintball our rented house, the whole front of it was covered in bright red pain splotches, The landlord came round the next day for the Rent, he wasn't very happy at all (and who could blame him) and gave ex bill for the cleaning.
The Starsong Princess 3 months ago
I sat on the steps of my university residence and cried because my key didn’t work and I couldn’t get in. I was pulling the door instead of pudhing.
Huddo's sister 3 months ago
Last time I was drunk I just kept talking about myself in the third person and saying no one liked drunk me.
Samantha H 3 months ago
My ex Husband (who rarely drank Alcohol) got a bit tipsy then decided after our BBQ to paintball our rented house, the whole front of it was covered in bright red pain splotches, The landlord came round the next day for the Rent, he wasn't very happy at all (and who could blame him) and gave ex bill for the cleaning.
You May Like “Gave An OSHA Inspector A Stroke”: 50 Times People Fixed Their Problems In The Most “Genius” Ways (New Pics) People Are Sharing The Things They'd Learned Too Late In Life, And These 51 Ones Are Eye-Opening "Literally Just Changed The Game For Me": TikToker Shares 30 Websites That Almost Feel Illegal To Know
Justinas Keturka
Viktorija Ošikaitė
Mindaugas Balčiauskas
Related on Bored Panda
