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30 Times Dating Profiles Were So Horrible, They Had To Be Shamed Online
Looking for love is probably one of the toughest missions a hooman can set out on, apart from staying in love happily ever after. All jokes aside, the Pew Research data has shown that nearly half of U.S. adults – and a majority of women – say that dating has become harder in the last 10 years.
As if that wasn't enough, the worldwide pandemic and uncertain times we live in have made people reevaluate their dating priorities, as more singletons now read people’s bios on dating apps instead of just swiping based on looks. We all seek lasting connection, and a good dating bio can surely give you at least a distant prospect of it, right?
Well, except that a nice dating bio is not a common occurrence. On the contrary, people who’re in the dating scene keep coming up with introductions that are weird, questionable, arrogant, you name it. Below is a selection of the most eyebrow-raising ones that will make you wonder what on earth they were thinking!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
She's Got A Point Though
To find out what a good online dating profile should sound like to give you real chances of finding your other half out there, as well as what mistakes to avoid in a bio, we spoke with Alex Wong. Wong is a professional copywriter and content strategist who “helps people capture more leads, traffic, and sales by 'hijacking' their prospects' minds with irresistible content.”
Among his many different copywriting services, Wong offers dating writing services for both men and women that he says will double people’s matches and dates. Whether you’re on OKCupid, Tinder, Match.com, POF, Bumble or Hinge, Wong will ghostwrite a compelling dating app profile that helps people get that coveted in-person date.
RELATED:
#2
Part Of The Time-Honored Tradition Of Making A Dating Profile That Demands Everything And Provides Nothing
#3
Alright Let’s Calm It Woman
#4
Found On A Dating Site. Why Create A Profile When You Hate Women So Much?
Wong told us that some of the most common mistakes people make when writing their profile are just being bland and generic. “There is nothing that sets them apart from the thousands of other profiles. It's important to find ways to stand out and present yourself in an interesting way,” he explained.
Another common faux pas is failing to spend time thinking about what you want in a partner or relationship. “Your profile should clearly show what type of person and relationship you are looking for. This helps to attract your ideal prospects and filters out those who are poor matches.”
#5
And Now His Bio Is Blank... Probably Cause He Realised No One Enjoys Seeing This
#6
First Time I’ve Personally Come Across One Of These Trash Bios
Michelle M 3 years ago (edited)
This is one toxic person. If only he had gotten medication for his mental health.
#7
This Guy Is A Literal Content Gold Mine. I Don't Think Any Woman Would Want To Date You Buddy
Adam Chang 3 years ago (edited)
of cause she has to likes a**l...cause you're an perfect a*shole
Ivana Bašić 3 years ago
Looking for an independent woman who will let him make all the decisions. Dude, that's not how she got her own house in the first place.
Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez 3 years ago
I don't know if Barbie is in for the censored point.
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Kimberly 3 years ago
They sell life size dolls dude. Made of silicone I think. Saw it on HBO once.
BusLady 3 years ago
But they wouldn't do his housekeeping and cook for him, and bring home a paycheck, and provide him with a house and a car.
Load More Replies...
- 3 years ago
Damn, he didn't specify in what field(s)! Mind you, I don't think Marie Curie is doing much cooking and dancing these days.
Load More Replies... Tuna Fish 3 years ago
WTF Did I just read? Good at cooking, but not fat. Always wears make up but no lip fillers. Always responds to my messages fast but is independent and doesn't need me. Dude this girl only exists in your mind/video games and even then would be the lamest of avatars. The chick you're looking for is named Samantha Stevens and she hasn't existed since 1955.
thEBOrdeSTpaNDA 3 years ago (edited)
Ok well some of this is good (support biden, supports lgbtq+, air freshener)
Jack Holt 3 years ago
Considering he's into feet and a**l I wouldn't think he'd have such a problem with bodily odours
Load More Replies...
Joe Reaves 3 years ago
Good at cleaning, can cook good food, good at cooking breakfast for me AND has a good job sounds like he expects his wife to be working the same hours as him but also doing ALL the housework. Newsflash dude if you want a housewife then they can't also be working full time. Pick one.
Stephanie A Mutti 3 years ago
"owns house" "let's me make decisions"... uh where were you when she was buying the house boss?
Display Name 3 years ago (edited)
To find her go to netflix and click on da first R rated romance movie u see
chaotic_charlie (they/he) 3 years ago
"nice feet with straight toes" so you can suck on them? pretty sure only people who are into feet care about their partner's feet
Jihana 3 years ago
Now that one is fun. Always wear makeup when he sees her. Soooo, does he want her to not remove the makeup in the evening so she can wake up with smudged makeup, or does he expect her to wear a sack over her head while sleeping so he does not see her before she puts on makeup in the morning?
Rylee Evergreen 3 years ago
Doesn't look at other men? Okay, let me just gouge my eyes out......
Do_You_Think_I_Give_A_Tortilla 3 years ago
He doesn’t want to smell her s**t. So entitled
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Arianna Gardner 3 years ago
I feel like he may not be straight and is going to take that out on whatever woman he ends up with.
Tigerpacingthecage 3 years ago
Yeah "let me" - urgh. Why not at least try to advertise yourself by saying "open minded in bed" or something similar.
Load More Replies...
Pangolin Pal 3 years ago
That's quite the checklist there, Chief? And what YOU are offering to HER is - ??????
Hazel McSweeney 3 years ago
Respects men is good but means he won't find her coz she'll swipe left on this guy 😆
Miles Mawyer 3 years ago
I have the same list on my bio, but at the bottom is says "Pick any two"
Blackstone 3 years ago
When I have to literally scroll through your wish list no matter what it says, it's a no from me. It tells me you are either far too controlling or have zero idea of what you're looking for.
Mama Penguin 3 years ago
So he wants a living, breathing sex doll devoid of personality and opinion and will cater to his every needs. And then he complains why a nice guy like him can't get a woman.
Darla Taylor 3 years ago
This one needs a blowup doll because that is the only one perfect for him
BorrowedThoughts 3 years ago
the "supports lgbtq+" in the middle of his list of demands boggles me
YourWorstNightmare 3 years ago
The supports lgbtq is good, but women DONT sleep in pretty lingerie
Alexis minnix 3 years ago
So, she has to reply fast but then can’t get mad when you take a long time to reply. Very hypocritical.
Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
What are you doing while she's working full-time, cooking, and cleaning? You don't want a partner; you want a sugar mama.
Oogiebogieaugiedaddy 3 years ago
You are looking for a slave or someone that has had a lobotomy!!! Take a hike over a cliff!
Tammilee Truitt 3 years ago
This could be every man in Texas, just change Biden for Trump. All else same lol.
TheEndIsNigh 3 years ago
Well then, close your eyes and go to sleep buddy, cuz the only way you'll meet that girl is IN YOUR DREAMS.
stacyh 3 years ago
Does your mommy know you’re on the computer little one? I refuse to believe a grown adult would use an incredibly stupid word such as “demoncrap.” I wish you people knew how dumb you look and sound to any sane human being.
Load More Replies...“Another common issue I see with profiles is poor quality photos. Their photos are blurry, poorly lit, with bad angles, etc. It’s important to include a variety of interesting photos to show prospects who you are and what you have to offer,” Wong explained.
#8
Well That's Interesting
#9
“Women Hate Good Men Like Me”
#10
Can't Imagine How He's Still Single
Your profile is one of the most important aspects when it comes to determining your success online, Wong argues. “Since prospects can’t see you in person, they can only rely on your profile to determine whether you're worth getting to know you better. And you only have a second to do this.”
“Besides your profile, your texting skills, getting matches engaged, setting updates, and filtering poor matches are also critical,” he added.
#11
A Nice Girl On Tinder
#12
Idk How He’s Never Been On A Date Before. He’s A Total Catch
AndThenICommented 3 years ago
Awwww the racist, incel virgin. My goodness what a catch. In a couple years he’ll be proud of this conservative values too
#13
The Choosing Beggars Of Tinder
When it comes to the main features of a good dating profile, Wong said that it should have an engaging, well-written bio/prompts and a good collection of photos. “When writing your profile, spend some time thinking about what you have to offer and what you are looking for in a partner. Think about interesting traits, hobbies, and experiences that you can include in your bio.”
Wong also suggests having at least 4-6 great photos. “Generally, it's best to include a mix of pictures showing different aspects of yourself. Avoid putting photos together that are too similar, and save sunglasses photos for the end. It's also best to use not more than 1 selfie and 1 group photo.”
#14
Just Went On Tinder And Saw This Bio... Well I Am No Cute Girl But Holy, That's A Very Nice Idea Xd
Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez 3 years ago
Good news! They just found a better treatment for cryoaudiovascularmalexia (CAVM). A regular (2-3/days) application of a cricket bat on your family jewls. The cricket bat must generate an impact in the range of 3500-4700N. A good thing is that there are no requirements regarding the person who applies the treatment: men, women, cute, not cute... even cows could do the job. Don't need to say thanks.
#15
I'll Laugh At How You Think Your Opinion Matters
#16
I’m On A Dating App With Fake Name And Pictures And I Super Liked You But I Expect You To Talk To Me First!
Wong also shared a couple of general rules for photos:
- Be sure to smile;
- Include your hobbies and activities;
- Minimal group shots;
- Minimal selfies;
- Minimal sunglasses photos;
- Only photos within the last 2-3 years.
#17
Do You Think His Wife Wrote This?
#18
When She Puts Her Red Flags Up Immediately
#19
I'm Not Even Sure What To Say Abt This Bio
Having said that, Wong also reminds everyone to remember that online dating takes time. “Although dating apps have made it easier to meet people, it has also increased the level of competition. Anyone can sign up for an account. I think people expect instant results when this isn’t the case,” he said.
Moreover, according to the professional copywriter, “users should constantly be testing and tweaking aspects of their bio, photos, texts, etc. to see what works. You can’t expect to get results if you don’t put in the work.”
#20
Guy Uses Tinder Like He's Ordering A Mail Order Bride
#21
I Feel Bad For Whoever Fran Chooses As His Wife
#22
Ah The Latest And Greatest From Tinder
Emerald Joanna 3 years ago
I'm sure that many men got erectile dysfunction just reading this...
#23
There's Only One Point Circled By The Op On Twitter, But There's A Lot To Unpack Here
Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez 3 years ago
I can't have the women I would like, so YOU will be OK.
#24
The Audacity Of The Unattractive Man Who Wrote This In His Bio
#25
Does Anyone Fit Into This Girl's Insane Bio Requirements?
#26
This Is Tinder, Not Build-A-Bae Workshop
Narwhal Blast 3 years ago
Well, I am everything on that list, except for pineapple on pizza... that's where you ruined it, boy!
#27
I Had Low Expectations For Fb Dating Already, But Damn
#28
This Reads Like A 19th Century Tinder Profile
#29
Dating Site Profile. This Has To Be /S, Right??
#30
She Wants A Disney Prince Apparently
#31
Oof
#32
This Douche
#33
He Will Not Settle For Anything Less Than Perfection Ladies! Be Warned!
#34
Found On A Bumble Profile. His Provided Full Body Photo Appeared To Be Him Passed Out Drunk On The Floor
TheEndIsNigh 3 years ago
What has happened to us as a society that so many people believe that a "Stepford pornstar" or "deaf, dumb, & blind sugar daddy" is the ideal match?
#35
I Was Bored And Decided To Use Tinder, Came Across This Delightful Profile. At Least I'm Mildly Entertained Tonight!
#36
Saw This On Tinder
Narwhal Blast 3 years ago
Are you supposed to summon him to talk to him and then you can't send him back?
#37
Mhmmm
#38
How Do People Even Get The Urge To Cheat?!
Final score:
14points
#39
Blunt. Feminist. Liberal
#40
Seems Like A Tinder Beggar
TheEndIsNigh 3 years ago (edited)
Tinder profile, or Burger King 🤴 order? "Uuuuuuuuuuuhhhh.....le'me get one if those 2 piece children."
#41
Glad I Read The Bio!
#42
So Obviously I Should Have Swiped Right?
#43
The Good Guy You Need!
Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez 3 years ago
You're not special, must be happy with a looser like me.
#44
What A Keeper
#45
This Dude
Emerald Joanna 3 years ago
Omg I can't even...😂😂 "My parents taught me to be decent so f**k off!!"
#46
Alright Boys I'm Done With Tinder
Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez 3 years ago
What does that mean? Send me money and I will text you from time to time?
#47
Is This A Weird Meme, Or Are These Actually People?
Display Name 3 years ago
Da only sane thing bout dis is da fact she luvs her doggo more than him
#48
Do You Think He Ever Wonders Why No One Matches Him?
#49
Found On Tinder
TheEndIsNigh 3 years ago (edited)
Sounds legit and completely non-potentially murder-y in any way👌🏽
#50
Found On Tinder
#51
You Might Be Surprised! (Spoiler: You Won’t)
#52
International Niceguy With That Tinder Game
#54
Found On Tinder, She Sounds Like A Great Catch!
Kate Jones 3 years ago
what is with these grown a*s women needing to be treated like princesses???
#55
Tinder With Its Usual Shenanigans
#56
So We Have A Tinder Page At School...
Jacob Nunez 3 years ago
Wow apparently ur parents only like people who are ??80% Chinese?? Racist or somethin to other people?????
#57
Just Go Ahead And Put That All Out There
M O'Connell 3 years ago
This just sounds like someone who doesn't want to waste a bunch of their life waiting for the 'right moment' to bring this stuff up.
#58
God Speaketh Through Her
#59
What Do Y’all Think
Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez 3 years ago
You have a great background. You will find someone you deserve.
#60
Why Are People Like This
#61
Found A Real Gem On Tinder
#62
Maybe Take Care Of Your Kid Instead Of Going On Tinder
Pepper Sergent 3 years ago
What is that title? A troll? You can be a mom and be on a dating app. What is this, the 1800s?
#63
I Just Created Bio Based On Inspiration From This Sub. What You Guys Think?
#64
Too Much Info?
#65
Is This The Longest Sentence On Tinder? P.s. You Must Own A House To Proceed
#66
Of All The Movie Quotes To Use
#68
Didn’t Even Have To Match With Him (Tinder)
Jacob Nunez 3 years ago
….i dont know about this one. Definitely better than some buuuut not better than others
#69
Most Interesting Chemist On Tinder
#70
An Independent Woman
Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez 3 years ago (edited)
Well, this introduction seems nice... or maybe I'm lost in translation. Please correct me.
#71
Uh... Phrasing!
#72
This Girl Wants Almost An Entire Baseball Team Of Kids
#74
Nothing Attracts Women More Than A Huge Disclaimer On Your Tinder Profile
#75
Hates Tinder - Is On Tinder
#77
Um....wow. This Winner Showed Up On My Tinder This Evening...
#78
Reward For Worst Tinder Bio Of The Year Goes To!
#79
You Have Become The Very Thing You Swore To Destroy
#83
Tinder Is A Gift That Keeps On Giving
#85
Me Just Before Going Out Cycling!
Final score:
4points
Pangolin Pal 3 years ago
And after all those a**holes, suddenly a nice-looking dude in an impressively weird Eggo T-shirt, with cute crinkly eyelids and a kind, friendly face. Looks like you saved the best for last -- I would TOTALLY date this guy!
#86
You Probably Just Eliminated Like 90% Of The Population, And Other 10% Don't Find You Attractive
Final score:
4points
Thida Yang 3 years ago
STD goes without saying since duh, obviously you would need to have s*x with an actual live person to catch one..
#87
Tinder Surgarless Sugar-Daddy Wanted
Jerry The Joker 3 years ago
I wonder if that ever works. Asking for a friend. Hahahahaha hahahahaha
#88
Using Tinder To Try And Barter Skilled Labor And Toys In Exchange For Their Practice Domming
#89
Not Sure If This Is Technically A “Nice Guy,” But Definitely Has The Energy Of One...... Most Times I Hate Tinder
Spikey boi 3 years ago (edited)
I fixed a spelling mistake in this bio, here's the corrected version: "If you back MAGA or the NRA by completely ignoring any facts, go back to the sheep flock"
#90
This 37 Year Old Guy’s Tinder
#91
Wondering If This Tinder Bio Has Ever Worked For Him…
#92
Jonathan, The Choosiest Of Tinder Beggers
#94
How I Feel When People Stand Too Closely
Final score:
1point
Add New Image
What do you think ?
NsG 3 years ago (edited)
When my husband comes home I'm giving him the biggest hug, so he knows how much I appreciate him, and that I have someone in my life who I met organically (not through an app) and that I never have to go through a list like this again, except for entertainment! (My brother and sister in law met online, so it does work, but it took them a very long time)
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
30 years with my hubby, never so glad to be safe from that dating thing...
Load More Replies...
Amanda Black 3 years ago
Hear me out the no fat chicks crowd....women come in all sizes. At least you're upfront about what you don't want but there are some lovely women out there who weigh more that 115 pounds. And if you do find a small woman who is to say she won't gain weight? Dress, pregnancy, medication, hormones, life etc can all lead to weight gain. And how much do you weigh dude?
Tigerpacingthecage 3 years ago
To be honest i don't think most of them know what 115 or even 130 looks like on a grown woman. Either they want someone very short or a child.
Load More Replies... Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
I'm not sure which is worse, the overly bitter ones, the entitled and delusional ones, or the painfully desperate ones. Yikes.
Tigerpacingthecage 3 years ago
Wow. Some of these people really ask for the perfect human. Better off with a real doll. And it's absolutely scary how many say "no feminists". That speaks a lot of the world.
APL 3 years ago
They don't even know what feminism is, they just mean "no women smarter than me". Which leaves the field barren.
Load More Replies...
Random Anon 3 years ago
Damn... and I mean DAYUM. On the bright side, at least these people are still looking for a partner and won't be breeding soon. Odds are a few will fall through the cracks and find themselves someone desperate enough to shag them.
Nathaniel 3 years ago
A lot of men deserve to have their peni (plural of penis) lopped off. This is embarrassing to me just how bad other men can and do act.
APL 3 years ago
The plural of "penis" is "penises". Latin has different declensions and they don't all pluralise the same way.
Load More Replies...
Hollyann Hughley 3 years ago
What's wrong with number 32???? Because he rides a bike? I'd date him.
BusLady 3 years ago
Mostly delusional people who will never find their perfect mate because that fantasy doesn't exist. Also a lot of angry "nice guys" who apparently aren't getting any because of their attitude, not because of the "friend zone." They don't want a relationship anyway, they just want sex.
Malaki Williams 3 years ago
i honestly dont get why people have strict rules on who they swipe like: no small boobs, small waste, cat be fat, has to be a 10/10, will do whatver i say. like all i want is a woman that will love me and be there for me i can care less about weight, height, and background
James Tartaglione 3 years ago
honestly scrolled through this just to make sure mine wasn't on here (it's not) ~whew~
Jennifer .S 3 years ago
It's ok to have a type and maybe not want certain heights or hair colours. But that's for YOU to filter for yourself, not let that person find you
Tt 3 years ago
Also, many of these apps let you filter out people who have a certain height, age, education status etc.
Load More Replies... bill marsano 3 years ago
Some credit is due here: All of these people are straightforward in posting their red flags for all to see. It's the ones who don't that you have to look out for.
LynzCatastrophe 3 years ago
Despite the problems we sometimes have, I'm so happy to have found my husband's early in life so I didn't have to do the dating scene. Big hug for hubby.
NsG 3 years ago (edited)
When my husband comes home I'm giving him the biggest hug, so he knows how much I appreciate him, and that I have someone in my life who I met organically (not through an app) and that I never have to go through a list like this again, except for entertainment! (My brother and sister in law met online, so it does work, but it took them a very long time)
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
30 years with my hubby, never so glad to be safe from that dating thing...
Load More Replies... Amanda Black 3 years ago
Hear me out the no fat chicks crowd....women come in all sizes. At least you're upfront about what you don't want but there are some lovely women out there who weigh more that 115 pounds. And if you do find a small woman who is to say she won't gain weight? Dress, pregnancy, medication, hormones, life etc can all lead to weight gain. And how much do you weigh dude?
Tigerpacingthecage 3 years ago
To be honest i don't think most of them know what 115 or even 130 looks like on a grown woman. Either they want someone very short or a child.
Load More Replies... Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
I'm not sure which is worse, the overly bitter ones, the entitled and delusional ones, or the painfully desperate ones. Yikes.
Tigerpacingthecage 3 years ago
Wow. Some of these people really ask for the perfect human. Better off with a real doll. And it's absolutely scary how many say "no feminists". That speaks a lot of the world.
APL 3 years ago
They don't even know what feminism is, they just mean "no women smarter than me". Which leaves the field barren.
Load More Replies... Random Anon 3 years ago
Damn... and I mean DAYUM. On the bright side, at least these people are still looking for a partner and won't be breeding soon. Odds are a few will fall through the cracks and find themselves someone desperate enough to shag them.
Nathaniel 3 years ago
A lot of men deserve to have their peni (plural of penis) lopped off. This is embarrassing to me just how bad other men can and do act.
APL 3 years ago
The plural of "penis" is "penises". Latin has different declensions and they don't all pluralise the same way.
Load More Replies... Hollyann Hughley 3 years ago
What's wrong with number 32???? Because he rides a bike? I'd date him.
BusLady 3 years ago
Mostly delusional people who will never find their perfect mate because that fantasy doesn't exist. Also a lot of angry "nice guys" who apparently aren't getting any because of their attitude, not because of the "friend zone." They don't want a relationship anyway, they just want sex.
Malaki Williams 3 years ago
i honestly dont get why people have strict rules on who they swipe like: no small boobs, small waste, cat be fat, has to be a 10/10, will do whatver i say. like all i want is a woman that will love me and be there for me i can care less about weight, height, and background
James Tartaglione 3 years ago
honestly scrolled through this just to make sure mine wasn't on here (it's not) ~whew~
Jennifer .S 3 years ago
It's ok to have a type and maybe not want certain heights or hair colours. But that's for YOU to filter for yourself, not let that person find you
Tt 3 years ago
Also, many of these apps let you filter out people who have a certain height, age, education status etc.
Load More Replies... bill marsano 3 years ago
Some credit is due here: All of these people are straightforward in posting their red flags for all to see. It's the ones who don't that you have to look out for.
LynzCatastrophe 3 years ago
Despite the problems we sometimes have, I'm so happy to have found my husband's early in life so I didn't have to do the dating scene. Big hug for hubby.
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