Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
Someone Wonders “What’s The Worst ‘Cousin’ Story You’ve Ever Heard?” 36 People Respond
Relationships between cousins are complicated. And by complicated, I mean that for some people they are like siblings and best friends, but others are not so close - they don’t even know them or, for example, they don’t count them as a family member, meaning having a relationship is totally appropriate.
I’m sure many of us have read stories, seen films or TV shows where people start dating or become close friends and then find out they are actually related to each other. But it’s not always about the relationship. Sometimes, cousins, while being blood related, can have very different lifestyles and do things that make you think ‘how can we even be related’? For example, it's hard to relate to robbing somebody or trying to get rid of a cactus by kicking it.
On that note, recently, one Reddit user asked folks online to share the worst cousin stories that they have heard, and be prepared to get a little bit of a shock from reading some of them.
More info: Reddit
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I have a cousin who, in the last month or so, made local news for all the wrong reasons. He subjected his girlfriend to constant domestic abuse for years, both physical and emotional, to the point where she took her own life. He’s only serving a sentence of 3 and a half years for the abuse and not her death, but his girlfriend’s mother made a request to the local council about putting in a request to have a law amended so that anyone who inflicts domestic abuse to the point of the victim taking their life, the abuser would be charged for manslaughter.
BarkingSpider 2 years ago
Not sure how things work in your country, but her family could also look into a wrongful death suit where he is still held legally responsible and required to pay damages. It's not the same as a prison sentence, but it's something.
Leviathan 2 years ago
I had an "uncle" on my grandfather's side, only met him once when I was lil, We found out about his death cause we saw his picture on the news.... his family, and the rest of ours never told us what happened, so we had to call the station to find out... my mom {rip} was hurt so bad cause he was her "brother" even tho she didn't know him much
RELATED:
#2
Doing a hike with two of my cousins and an uncle of ours. One of my cousins found a ball shaped cactus, and wanted to take it with him for no reason (he just thought it was cool). He didn't have any container so he had to carry it in his hand, causing the cactus to sting his fingers continually.
After a while, my uncle told him to throw it away, because he was getting harmed. My cousin did it, but in the most stupid way: He threw the cactus in the air and kicked it (like a goalkeeper) causing the damn thing to get nailed to his foot.
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 2 years ago
I once tried to harvest a prickly pear without gloves. I thought the prickles were the soft ones like store-bought cacti… they were not. I had tiny little stickers in my hands for a week.
Katrina Caraway 2 years ago
Duck tape and/or panty hose will remove them. You run the panty hose over the effected area. Works for fiberglass to.
Load More Replies...
#3
I have a cousin who has slept with several of our first cousins. Was even going to marry one when they were teenagers. There was a letter written to my aunt, which my mom read and can vouch for. My aunt was totally fine with it, while my mom was like 'yo, what the f**k.'
For context, Indiana and Kentucky.
Weasel Wise 2 years ago
Appalachian Mountain people of Kentucky are equally as terrifying as the Swamp People of Alabama.
Load More Replies...
Shark Lady 2 years ago
First cousins can marry in the UK. Genetically speaking, if it's a one off it's usually fine, it's when you get multiple generations of cousins marrying that you get problems.
Jonny Wilson 2 years ago
I actually live in Kentucky and it’s illegal for cousins to marry if they’re closer than third cousins so a first cousin it’s illegal here
#4
I have an awesome cousin story. As a kid the thing to do in our little town was go to the neighboring town to roller skate. Long story short my friend meets a girl spends all night making out with her behind the rink. End of the night my buddy decides to stay behind and wait for her parents to pick her up, being a gentleman. Monday at school I ask him “how’d the restt of the night go”. Turns out his father had an estranged brother the family never talked about. The girl was his cousin. “She didn’t want to make out anymore”
LizzieBoredom 2 years ago (edited)
There needs to be a DNA scanner to help related but unaware people avoid awkward situations, and 2-headed offspring.
#5
A couple years back I heard about a guy who traveled for a family reunion. He decided to have a drink at the bar near his hotel. He got into an argument with a guy at the bar and they decided to take it outside. He accidentally [ended] the other guy in the fight only to find out it was a cousin he had never met that was also there for the reunion.
Upstaged75 2 years ago
Killed. It's just a weird thing the censor does - blurring out words like kill, murder, suicide.
Load More Replies...
#6
I have family members who were dating each other for years and didn't know they were actually cousins.They were even planning on getting married until they found out
TheGoodBoi 2 years ago
Oof..."Hey I'm in love with you!" "I'm in love with you too!". DNA test: "Yeah, about that..."
CanadianDimes 2 years ago
Even if they did, the odds of a child having a genetic defect are only 4-6%. For context, with a genetic stranger, it’s 2-3%. So 94-96% chance a child would be fine. If they were social strangers (didn’t know each other growing up, didn’t know they were cousins) then I agree with you that it’s not a big deal. There’s no family or power dynamics there.
Load More Replies...
Roos Dillema 2 years ago
That is horrible. Imagine, loving someone only to find out they are related.
Nikole 2 years ago
That’s what I thought about too. Like, if they didn’t grow up together, is it that big of a deal? I still wouldn’t go around telling people about it though…
Load More Replies...
martin734 2 years ago
First cousins are sufficiently distantly related for the risks of genetic abnormalities to be passed on to be negligible, virtually the same for non-related parents.
Load More Replies...
ADHDFromHell (He/Him) 2 years ago
Wouldn't it be funny if they went on with the wedding plans?
#7
I have been dealing with mental health problems since I was 12 due to abuse by my dad. Where I was in my mid 30s I decided to move from Texas to Colorado so I could be closer to my mom. I have this one female cousin that is 2 years younger than me that has always had an attitude problem. Just after I moved there I was talking privately with my mom and aunt about where can I go locally to find a good doctor and then the cousin butts in claiming that I don't need a doctor, that I never had any kind of mental problems and that I was making it all up just so I can get some attention. The b***h hadn't seen me in 15 years and all of the sudden she knew everything about me. This was also what led to me and my mom stop talking to her, my aunt and her 3 older sisters.
2 years ago
I'm sorry you went through that. I think your cousin may benefit from some mental health help herself.
Michael Largey 2 years ago
More direct remedies for the cousin come to mind. Congratulations to the OP for her restraint.
Load More Replies...
James Howell 2 years ago
Run like hell to get away from toxic people!! I have been drawing boundries with these toxic abusers. She/they say these things to control you SO THEY can continue the abuse to you. Hurt people hurt people. HOWEVER, there are toxic people who enjoy torturing those of us who are kind, empathetic and just goodness. They are emotionally bankrupt and will never change. May Peace follow you throughout your life. And so it is Amen
Leviathan 2 years ago
the same thing happened to me, my Aunt claimed I was making up my pseudotumor cerebri, telling me "You don't have a tumor" {it's a brain tumor with out the physical tumor so it cant be taken out, so it's bad} and turned her kids against me, I had a FB and they would send me stuff about it and told me I should just die and I wasn't really sick when I had cancer, I kicked them from my life.... Know what started it? Her kid went camping and i went once time before so I said "Maybe we can all go again" and that started my aunt on "oh you following her cause she so cool/pretty" {she was hitting 400 pounds and married to a 700 pound man{he was proud of it oddly} and ...kinda homely... my sister is better looking and i call her ugly!, not that I cared about all that but I'm 7'1 at 90 pounds due to being sick a lot so I think that hurt my aunt a lot} Sadly that aunt was the first person i told that i was gay and she supported it {she had a gay son, {gay cowboy too}
#8
I had a friend in high school and he kept telling his attractive older female cousin seemed to be flirting with him and trying to sleep with him. We called him out for his obvious lies. I was over at his house like a month later and his cousin stopped by with her family. We were in the basement and the whole time she was flirting with him and rubbing his arms and thighs. She was his first cousin. It was like watching a modern p**n video intro.
#9
My 29M cousin is currently doing a sort of walkabout of America. His plan is to walk across the country without any money, relying on the generosity of strangers and churches (he's a super duper Catholic). He started in New Jersey about 4 months ago and he's currently in Georgia. Most of us thought he'd be hurt or worse by now, but apparently he's been doing really well by relying on churches. One of his goals was to prove that humanity is inherently kind, which no one really agreed, and *so far* he's proved his point.
I think it's pretty admirable what he's doing, but there are some criticisms to be had. He's essentially roleplaying as a homeless man.
General Anaesthesia 2 years ago (edited)
Do we all remember? For those who don't: "A hitchhiking robot that successfully traveled around Germany, Canada and the Netherlands was destroyed Saturday in Philadelphia, just a few weeks into its U.S. journey..." - https://eu.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2015/08/03/hitchhiking-robot-destroyed-philadelphia-ending-cross-country-trek/31051589/
Load More Replies... Jonas Fisher 2 years ago
Yeah, screw this guy. There's not an unlimited amount of help available for people, and when he takes some for his extended vacation, other people are left without. It's a zero-sum game, and he's leaning on charity because he chooses to be a bum.
Pheebs 2 years ago
Is it actually proving that people are inherently kind when the success is around charitable organizations, which by nature tend to help the in need? It proves the point better if it’s random people just helping because they want to, and not because their religion says they should (not that all religious people are kind). Also, I’m curious if the people helping are getting the actual story - that the lack of funds is on purpose to prove something - or if the story they’re telling is a sadder, down on their luck sort. Could write a psychology paper comparing results.
Mark 2 years ago
This is actually uplifting, that people can still see and treat people with kindness. However, this makes me wonder if the people would also be kind or helpful to homeless people, whose lives are exactly the same but without the safety net of money at home
Weasel Wise 2 years ago (edited)
This guy pushing himself, unnecessarily, into free help from people is NOT the same as being homeless. I doubt this man went a single day without food or water, he hasn't had to dig through a dumpster, he hasn't had to sleep under bushes, he's not being ravaged by unchecked mental illness, he hasn't gone weeks or months without a hot shower, he's not wearing the same clothes for the months and months on end leaving them to (and himself) to smell.....need I go on? As someone who has been homeless, comparing a willful freeloader to a person homeless against their will is insulting and incredibly ignorant. Yep, it's nice to learn that some churches do more than discriminate against gays, trans, and women,......., hopefully, without (?) forced proselytizing.
Load More Replies...
Steve Hall 2 years ago
You would be surprised to see how much money some people will spend to get other people just go away.
Sensitive Issues 2 years ago
How trashy. He's taking food and shelter from people who really do need these things all for his ego. again, how trashy.
#10
My cousin robbed my dying uncle, then Walmart, then sold a car he did not have a title to. He got arrested for it.
Then the story was in the news (online local paper). It read "Eric is charged with robbery, breaking and entering, and car theft".
Eric decided to comment on the story "I didn't steal a car".
Trashiest thing ever.
Leviathan 2 years ago
sadly all "my" cousins are "white trash" all druggies and "others", Knowing them, is the only reason Im glad I'm Adopted, And thank full to the only "normal" part of the family {was 9 girls and 2 boys, 7 or the girls had messed up families with like 5 kids each and each other kids were druggies and worse, and they had to of kids with like 4 to 5 diff fathers {so they ll had like 5 to 8 kids are diff ages, and since "my family was normal" We watched them till they grew to 3 and never saw them again or till they were like 13 and messed up with drugs too, Only about 10 people are "normal/clean" and stuff in the WHOLE Family, while we got like 250+ relatives that are..... all I can say is sorry if you ever meet someone with the last name "Kruger"
I heart Boo-BI-es 2 years ago
Sorry about the previous comment but you left it open..but on a serious note I'm sorry about your family issues. May I ask are these relatives from your adopted family or biological family? I apologize if that's crossing a line, just curious?
Load More Replies...
#11
My cousins on one side of my family suck and are the trashiest people ever. One cousin (female) dated this poor guy, got pregnant then, had his kid. He was a super nice guy but dumb as hell. Anyway, they split up and my cousin immediately gets knocked up by her ex-boyfriends brother and had another kid. So her kids are cousins and brothers at the same time. Jerry Springer s**t.
Ovata Acronicta 2 years ago
3/4 siblings, if you're curious. Some of my cousins (don't feel like looking up the exact distance) are 3/4 brothers, same mom, dads were brothers (both have passed). Not terribly uncommon some time ago. There were marriages involved so it wasn't so...yeah, Jerry Springer.
I heart Boo-BI-es 2 years ago
This reminds me of my own cousin story. My uncle met this young girl who was pregnant and homeless, they start dating and she gives birth to some other man's child. My Uncle marries her and adopts the child. now a cousin of mine who is also a neice of this Uncle, fools around and gets pregnant, at 16 by my Uncle's new wife's brother. So my cousins son is first and second cousins with our uncle's adopted child. Btw Uncle's wife cheats on him and gets knocked up by someone else and my uncle ends up adopting that kid too. Crazy 🤪
#12
Not nearly as bad as some of the other stories. I was seeing this guy in high school for like a year. I have a feeling he’s cheating on me and long story short he was, we break up. I’m catching up with my cousin a couple of weeks later. She’s describing how she was seeing this guy and really liked him until she found out guy was cheating on his girlfriend with her. He cheated on me with my cousin. He also had no idea we were related he just has a type I guess.
#13
When I was young, probably around 12-13, I was flirting with a girl that I met through a friend. She was flirting back too. She was so cute. I asked her her full name, and I remarked, "oh, that's my mom's maiden name" (not a common name). She said, "Aunt xxx?!" She turned white, and said "oh my God, you're my cousin", and practically ran away. Damn!
RabidChild 2 years ago
As the band The Dead South says in the song Banjo Odyssey, "I know she's my cousin but she needs some sweet lovin' anyway!"
Natalia 2 years ago
I love that song! The first time I heard it I was like, "wtf did he just say?!"
Load More Replies... TheGoodBoi 2 years ago
LMAO, I get the feeling OP is like "DAMN why did she have to be my cousin!??"
Kian Ponda 1 year ago
Could you use an aunts name as something else and not xxx? Cuz thats dirty
Papa 2 years ago
I read that several times, and didn't see anything about kissing, only flirting.
Load More Replies... #14
My cousin was a pretty big partier in college, so we all assumed he'd done more than just drink alcohol. When he was in his mid 20s, he lived in California and called his parents who lived in Florida (3 hour time difference) at like midnight Florida time yelling "I'm dying" and then hung up the phone and didn't answer when they called back. He finally called them back and kept telling them that he was dying. His girlfriend took the phone and explained that he'd eaten an edible and was totally fine, just way too high and was convinced that he was dying.
BarkingSpider 2 years ago
Me the first time I smoked weed 🤦♀️At least I didn't call my parents, but for sure thought I was dying and was very vocal about it.
two-sided llama 2 years ago
smae when I tripped on acid for the frist time. I mixed up the acid and ate arsenic.
Load More Replies...
Stannous Flouride 2 years ago
Reminds me of the cop who ate weed brownies with his wife and then called 9-1-1 Screen-Sho...0f-png.jpg 
#15
I have a cousin who is a nurse. She rose to a small bit of TikTok fame by posting videos talking about how she would have no problem unplugging someone’s ventilator at the hospital to plug in her phone. There were a few of these videos and each one made you wonder what was wrong with her. She was promptly fired from her job.
LAWLAWLAW 2 years ago
Freedom of speech does not equal freedom of consequences
Load More Replies... 
#16
I once walked into my cousins [making love] (brother and sister) we silently agreed nothing happened
hitex 2 years ago
So at what age did bro & sis hook up? Red flags everywhere on how & why been going down in that home
TheGoodBoi 2 years ago
One of those times you back away slowly and have a nice glass of unsee juice...
The Starsong Princess 2 years ago
Similarly aged adults? If not, you should have said something.
#17
I lived in the Middle East for two years.
Way too many women there are forced to marry their first cousin. A woman my ex knew through work was trying to escape the country after she was forced under the threat of death to marry her cousin.
aricely 2 years ago
My friend's parents are first cousins. Her dad is also 30 years older than her mom.
two-sided llama 2 years ago (edited)
just a normal nuclear family. no problem there totally
Load More Replies... Alijandro Asturias 2 years ago
The joke is, it is forbidden in Islam to force someone to marry against their will
Sunny Day 2 years ago
Most never read the Kuran. They rely on their Imam to read it for them, and the Imam skips some parts that don't seem important. (Catholics have a similar problem.)
Load More Replies...
Dread Pirate Roberts 2 years ago
Probably one of the same countries where it's common for 12-year-old girls to die in childbirth. Horrible on so many levels. Pedophilia and incest should never be normalized.
#18
Scientists looked into this and found two conflicting forces in action. People tend not to find close relatives attractive but people do subconsciously find people who look like close relatives attractive. Various tests were done and found that the decider was whether you spent a lot of time with that person as a child. So we tend not find those we were brought up with attractive. This explains why sometimes cousins, siblings and even parents and children separated at birth can unwittingly find each other wildly attractive - they didn’t grow up together but have a strong similarity.
I have to say, I find the strong reaction of US folks to this topic amusing. In many places in the world it’s not such a big deal as long as it doesn’t happen too often. Darwin, Einstein, Edgar Allan Poe, Queen Victoria, J.S.Bach all married cousins.. probably more common back in the day due to smaller populations and less travel opportunities.
Papa 2 years ago
That was caused by multiple marriages between related people, not a one-time thing.
Load More Replies...
Diolla 2 years ago
Yes! And why I married a black guy. Opposites attract. Optimal gene mix :-D
Load More Replies...
Hey! 2 years ago (edited)
My late father (Quebec, Quebec) married my late mother (Ecosse, Michigan). My grandmothers were sisters so my parents were first cousins. My father offered money to a few priests in the U.S.A. (I'm guessing he never went to Alabama). Finally one accepted (Niagara Falls, on the Canadian side) his bribe and that's why I'm a Canadian instead of an American. One of my father's sisters married her 2nd cousin. And my oldest brother and one of her daughters went out together for several years.
ॐBoyGanesh 2 years ago
He was her 3rd cousin and her second cousin once removed. Queen Victoria married Albert, her first cousin. The others mentioned in this numbered post are also first cousins. Historically, first cousins marrying wasn’t taboo. Especially in non-western nations and in European aristocracy. George IV & Caroline were first cousins. Incest was often considered a privilege for the ruling elites. From Cleopatra to Kamehameha to Chulalongkorn to Philip IV and the 11 Hapsburgs before him. Aside from immediate family, marrying with the family is a rather new taboo and was hardly considered incest. I’m kinda glad I was an only biological child and only grandchild after hearing the behavior of so many cousins.
Load More Replies...
Andy Frobig 2 years ago
In ancient Egyptian royalty, they would have said, "your cousin? Gross! Your sister isn't good enough?"
Frances Gordon 2 years ago
Darwin wrote about a varied gene pool but had 10 kids with his cousin lmaoo
#19
Not my story, but a friend from my old work (We’ll call him P) told me one time he had a very drunk friend of his and 2 ladies come into his pub and was inviting him to spectate and possibly join in on their regular, saucy threesome.
P then recognised one of these ladies as his mates cousin and was like “You’re inviting me to watch you f**k your cousin?…” to which his friend replied very straight faced “yeah? I f**k her all the time.”
P refused to participate.
#20
My cousin once asked if I wanted to watch a video of him [making love]. I said no so he called me gay.
Michael Largey 2 years ago
You decline to watch a video where your cousin has an erection, and that makes you gay???
Papa 2 years ago
I'd think that comment would be more appropriate if he DID want to watch it.
Load More Replies...
Dread Pirate Roberts 2 years ago
How would not wanting to watch porn of your cousin make you gay? Lol
#21
When I was 8, I kissed my 7-year-old cousin. One kiss. I'm 65 now and she's 64 yet, every time the family gets together, she has to bring it up, reminding everyone that we 'made out' when we were kids.
Weasel Wise 2 years ago
Wow...weird and super obnoxious. Why would someone repeatedly attempt to brag about something like that? Especially if it wasn't true? 🤮
Papa 2 years ago
I took it as the cousin teasing the OP, not bragging. Anyway, people need to lighten up. They were just children. If they were adults when it happened it would be a different situation.
Load More Replies...
nia not long 2 years ago
😂😂😂 I bet she would stop bringing it up after he said that!
Load More Replies... Cam Schmit 2 years ago
ugh there's photo of my and my cousin when we were like 3. The photo isn't of us kissing but as if we're about to.
#22
We used to go to the same campground with my cousins in the early 80's and it took me a bit to figure out they were all bullies in various degrees. I was about 14 and we all decided to take a hike on a largish mountain, and I got stuck with the male part of the three. He was about 2 years older than me and abandoned me off the trail.
I was ok at first, but it started to get dark, and I got lost. It was really disorientating and frankly terrifying. I ended up running to a ranger and they guided me back to my group. He was standing there, all grinning behind everyone's back and being a total s**t.
Turns out they kept that gimmick until I washed my hand of all of them.
TheGoodBoi 2 years ago
Depending on where you are, you could've never been found. But no, let's not think about what could happen if we let someone get lost! /S
Dread Pirate Roberts 2 years ago
Little sociopath probably grew up to constantly be in and out of jail.
#23
I am an only child but because I was the oldest cousin on my mother's side my aunt always assumed I would babysit my 2 cousins.
So one day I was playing hide and seek with them. I was hiding behind the boat under this garage and I saw my cousin come running around the corner and he ran straight into the metal thing that locks the gate and under his eye was a massive cut and ended up getting stitches.
Right after it happened she started yelling and getting physical with me shouting "You are supposed to take care of him!". My parents had to step in and calm her down and say it's not my job to look after them.
Things is she never asked or told me to take care of them she just always blamed it on me if they got hurt . me and my parents are visiting them on the holidays and on some weekends and I was 10 the time and they were 6 and 8 and they just expect me to look after them?
Ansi 2 years ago
This tops my sister accidentally hitting our cousin in the forehead with the bolt (correct word?) underneath a tire swing. 😬 Blood was gushing and our cousin still has a scar. Atleast she didn't get a garden hoe in her face like my sister. 🤷
Bec 2 years ago
I had to get stitches in my head from playing in the barn with my cousins, my oldest sister was 'babysitting', which meant hanging out in the house while we played - no big deal, kids get hurt being dumb kids. They actually had good homeowners insurance that covered the media bill
Load More Replies... Hey! 2 years ago
Sad but so believable. I'm not sure where my mother went but she asked my oldest brother to take care of us while she was gone. Sometime in the afternoon, his friends come over so he can go play baseball with them. He went. I don't remember this but he told that story so many times, just like you OP "just expect me to look after them?". He was 12. 10M, 8M, 6F, me 3F. Late 60s.
Ansi 2 years ago
Wow. A 12 year old is not mature enough to take care of that many kids alone. 😲 Lucky nothing happened like in OP.
Load More Replies...
#24
I was very young but was at my aunts house for a sleepover. I was downstairs playing with my little cousins and knew my older cousin was upstairs in his room playing a video game. I decided to sneak upstairs and try to scare him. When I opened his door quietly, I found him on his bed, with his pants down... and the family dog between his legs.
I haven't told any of my family members what I saw. As far as I could tell, he didn't notice me sneak in, then bolt out.
Thank you for reminding me of this after 20+ years.
TheGoodBoi 2 years ago
Whoa! I thought it was going to be a cousin/sister/brother, but the family dog!?
#25
A friend of a friend had some chance encounter situation at a coffee shop in a huge city. The odds were astronomically low for all of this. He began a relationship with the girl from the coffee shop. After about 2 years of dating / banging she got into an accident and ended up passing. At the funeral he met one of her friends that he'd never met before and she consoled him. One thing led to another and she went from consoling his heart to consoling his p***s. Unfortunately for him this wasn't one of those stories where the cousins secretly realize it at a family get together and noone else is the wiser. She took him to meet her parents and her father started interrogating the poor guy about his life and where he grew up / details about his life at dinner and the realization that they were cousins came out infront of the father, mother and her 2 brothers. They are still friends to this day but they don't bang anymore (that we know of or that he will admit to) but I am told everyone still makes fun of him.
Edit: to clarify she consoled his p***s for probably 6 months or so before she took him to meet her parents.
Edit 2: I accidentally said his father. I meant her** father started grilling him
Paddling Panda 2 years ago
Why do some of these people call it "banging"? Maybe I'm old-school, but this just seems so dismissive, disrespectful, and crass. Why not just say they were dating? I think most of us can figure out what that means.
#26
I have a very large blended family.
When I was a young kid, my blood cousin dated my step cousin. No blood relation of any kind and they were technically from opposite sides of the family for them but for me it was the same side.
Little me went to school and told all my friends how my cousins were dating and I saw them holding hands while they were babysitting me.
My mom received a very interesting phone call from my teacher that day lmao
I have way worse stories but after reading some of the ones in this thread i decided to go with a more tame one lol.
#27
Dude... this is painful to write, but... when I started school at like 7 years old (which is when you start school in my country), this one class mate of mine (boy) wanted to appear cool in front of his new class mates and at some point told us the awesome story of how he "put his cousin's peepee in his mouth". Expecting a standing ovation and the respect of his peers he was quickly let down when people just relentlessly kept giving him a hard time about it.
I still remember it to this day. He would turn red and he would say "aww... I was just joking. I didn't really do it". But it was too late. From the bottom of my heart, Marcus, I hope you've shed your reputation as a c********r (not that there is anything wrong with that).
It still stands out as perhaps the worst reputational move I've witnessed in my life - owing mostly to the time and how ruthless 80s kids were about these matters.
BarkingSpider 2 years ago
Definitely possible, but wondering how old the other cousin was.
Load More Replies...
KnightOwl 2 years ago
That's awful. That poor child was likely being abused, even if his cousin was a child, it's still abuse and should still be investigated. My nephew was 5 when he was sexually assaulted by a 10yr old friend, when my sister found out she got police and social services involved. It turned out the 10yr old was being abused by an adult family member and had previously been accused of abusing a bunch of other kids. Unfortunately he didn't receive any help (his mum refused therapy and choose to 'beat it out of him' instead) he is now I his 20s and a known child predator. (My nephew got years of councilling and did art therapy.)
The Starsong Princess 2 years ago
That’s what you took away from poor Marcus’ statement? There was child sexual abuse going on there.
#28
A few months ago in my town a pair of cousins started dating. They grew up together and everything. They announced the relationship on Facebook and everything, pretty much blew up their entire lives as understandably their families were very upset. It was quite something to watch it all unfold.
#29
It's not terrible, but when my cousin visited with his fiancee earlier this year, they got drunk and then vomited in my bathroom and proceeded to not clean it up. Like, vomit still in the toilet and on the floor. B***h even got it on my shower curtains. They weren't even there for 24 hours and managed that. I was f*****g pissed.
#30
Well there's a story that went around my school that my cousin took a hot dog from the school cafeteria and used it to pleasure herself in the bathroom. never asked her about it and now never will, RIP, but it sounded like something she would have done.
️️Upvote faery️ 2 years ago
I don't think OP is referring to "making out" with the hot dog....
Load More Replies...
Hey Kat 2 years ago
we had the same rumor going around our school as well. I think most schools in my area had a girl who supposedly did this. My guess is it's just an urban legend. 🤷
The Original Bruno 2 years ago
Maybe, but this one girl... this one time... in band camp...
Load More Replies...
Sanguinius 2 years ago
I wonder if everyone heard a rumor about a girl doing that at some point during their childhood. I know I did. Hope you're well, Cici.
Donteatme666 2 years ago
It's all fun and games until someone loses their hotdog 🌭 up the coochie
#31
Husband dated a girl when he was younger who cheated on him with her female cousin, and then asked him not to tell anyone lmao.
#32
It’s not the “worst” cousin story, but it is a cousin story. I had to travel outside of my home province to get LASIK surgery done. So, I get there on the day of the surgery and the receptionist checking me is roughly my age and super cute…so we’re talking, kinda flirting and suddenly she goes “You have the same last name as I do!” Instant stop. Do not pass go. A little more chitchat and we figured out that we were related, albeit distantly… Still a nope from me though. Fast forward several months later and I’m back home working at a concert. After the show, this group of girls walks up to me and one of them starts chatting me up… (You see where this is going…) It’s her. She’s all over me…She sees it as a “sign” that she randomly ran into me several months later. She wants to know what I’m doing. “I’m going home to shower and get food. It’s been a long day, I’m hot, sweaty and hungry.” “You could come back to my hotel room!” I politely declined that offer, but she slides me her cell and room number…insisting that I come over as soon as I’m done. I take it to be polite because she was *relentless*. I go home, shower and then just absolutely crash. There was absolutely no way it was ever going to happen…the fact she had the same uncommon last name as me was (and is) a *HUGE* “F**K NO-factor”.
Bec 2 years ago
I know someone who has the same last name as the person they married - but they confirmed there was no relation
Andy Frobig 2 years ago
Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt were 4th cousins. When he proposed, he offered not having to change her stationery as a feature, not a bug
Load More Replies...
Elladine DesIsles 2 years ago
I mean, it sounds like this particular cousin was sending out red flags for a lot of reason that have nothing to do with potential common DNA, so OP clearly dodged a bullet on that front. But if people didn't reproduce with distant cousins, literally none of us would be here. I fact, if people didn't reproduce with first cousins, few if any of us would be here; most family trees have at least one example somewhere, let alone earlier generations that aren't documented. Granted, if everybody reproduced with first cousins the species might not have made it this far, too many genetic anomalies adding up. But on an occasional basis, it is rarely harmful.
#33
My cousin tryed to get the whole family to invest in NFTs
Lemme get the lemons 2 years ago
Because investing implies it's worthwhile
Load More Replies... 
Cam Schmit 2 years ago
Yeah remember how the dotcom bubble ruined the internet forever and now nobody uses it? Me either. Same with NFTs. I think NFTs have their applications but as far as using them as a collectible or a mini-stock market isn't a good idea.
#34
Apparently there’s copper in houses. Rusty started stealing it from houses. Well he got a divorce and lost his whole family after he went to prison. I still don’t understand the scam. He was know in our town as The Copper Bandit before he got caught. Rusty, just work at Walmart. Don’t steal copper. It was weird.
Austin L 2 years ago (edited)
This is true, I've toured houses for sale that got stripped overnight and we were the first ones with the agent to discover it and have to break the news to the owners. Older houses will even have copper water pipes too. In case there was any doubt, they absolutely destroy the interior of these houses in the process.
BarkingSpider 2 years ago (edited)
This happens a lot, and it's usually tweaker and crack heads, the same people who are out stealing catalytic converters.
WalterWhiteSavannah 2 years ago
When I was working demo on an old mill a couple worker would constantly steal copper from the demo site and sell it back home during time off. He finally got caught and was written up but not fired... then continued doing it. We were making 13 plus grand a month and the idiot was risking his job for a few hundred worth of copper each turn around.
#35
My ex bf [made love] with my first cousin while we were dating and receieved a BJ from my second cousin during a funeral. In a bathroom. Good times with that one.
S P 2 years ago
Also, he is more skanky. Where's the don't be a prick code for the ex?
Load More Replies... #36
I have two cousins who got married, have two teenage kids now and are getting divorced.
What do you think ?
The Starsong Princess 2 years ago (edited)
Here’s one for me - my first cousin once removed (her father and my grandmother were siblings) was a beautiful girl and married a rich guy. But he was a real cheapo who wouldn’t let her turn the heat up above 15C unless he was home. So she had an affair and ran off with the guy. But the guy she ran off with was her first cousin once removed! (Her father, the guy’s grandfather and my grandmother were siblings, for those of you following along). They got married and had a few kids. My grandmother was completely appalled. She refused to visit them but not because of the cousin thing - they started breeding and raising snakes. Apparently, the house was just full of snakes and snake tanks and my cousin always had one draped around her neck.
BarkingSpider 2 years ago
My cousin robbed a gun store. I don't really talk to that side of the family.
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
My little cousins killed all of my fish when I wasn't home. I adore those boys and it wasn't their fault they weren't supervised. They dumped all of the fish food in the tank. My parents shouldn't have let them in my room
Stannous Flouride 2 years ago
There's a huge difference between having $ex with someone you're related to and reproducing with one. If you grew up in different households and were strangers who were attracted to each other that's what you are. As long as you're practicing safe $ex, who cares?
Wysteria_Rose 2 years ago
On my dad's side, my cousins grew up in poverty which warped with their heads a bit (every time they reach out, it's to ask for money, which we can't fully blame them b/c their parents raised them to do that). On my mom's side, my cousin grew up highly wealthy, doesn't work, and has too much time on her hands so any event planning she will peck the rest of us to death about every single detail b/c she legitimately can't make decisions for herself. Somehow, me and my siblings are relatively normal in the middle and are okay with it.
Starfish63 2 years ago
I have no cousins from my mum's side of the family and only half-cousins from my dad's side (long story!). The youngest in age to me was 15/16 when I was born so although we know each other, we've never been close. Reading this makes me glad!
walkabout 2 years ago
More of a "isn't my cousin" story: There was a girl in middle school who had the same last name as my maternal grandparents. She was probably the first girl who showed interest in me. I was concerned that we were related (of course we weren't.) Also, through the expert parenting skills of my parents I knew that anyone who was nice to me was really trying to take something from me. I was friendly to her but never anything more. She approached me at our 20th H.S. reunion where we exchanged small talk. She still looked at me as if I hung the moon. It was too late by then. Beth J., I deeply regret not being braver.
The Starsong Princess 2 years ago (edited)
Here’s one for me - my first cousin once removed (her father and my grandmother were siblings) was a beautiful girl and married a rich guy. But he was a real cheapo who wouldn’t let her turn the heat up above 15C unless he was home. So she had an affair and ran off with the guy. But the guy she ran off with was her first cousin once removed! (Her father, the guy’s grandfather and my grandmother were siblings, for those of you following along). They got married and had a few kids. My grandmother was completely appalled. She refused to visit them but not because of the cousin thing - they started breeding and raising snakes. Apparently, the house was just full of snakes and snake tanks and my cousin always had one draped around her neck.
BarkingSpider 2 years ago
My cousin robbed a gun store. I don't really talk to that side of the family.
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
My little cousins killed all of my fish when I wasn't home. I adore those boys and it wasn't their fault they weren't supervised. They dumped all of the fish food in the tank. My parents shouldn't have let them in my room
Stannous Flouride 2 years ago
There's a huge difference between having $ex with someone you're related to and reproducing with one. If you grew up in different households and were strangers who were attracted to each other that's what you are. As long as you're practicing safe $ex, who cares?
Wysteria_Rose 2 years ago
On my dad's side, my cousins grew up in poverty which warped with their heads a bit (every time they reach out, it's to ask for money, which we can't fully blame them b/c their parents raised them to do that). On my mom's side, my cousin grew up highly wealthy, doesn't work, and has too much time on her hands so any event planning she will peck the rest of us to death about every single detail b/c she legitimately can't make decisions for herself. Somehow, me and my siblings are relatively normal in the middle and are okay with it.
Starfish63 2 years ago
I have no cousins from my mum's side of the family and only half-cousins from my dad's side (long story!). The youngest in age to me was 15/16 when I was born so although we know each other, we've never been close. Reading this makes me glad!
walkabout 2 years ago
More of a "isn't my cousin" story: There was a girl in middle school who had the same last name as my maternal grandparents. She was probably the first girl who showed interest in me. I was concerned that we were related (of course we weren't.) Also, through the expert parenting skills of my parents I knew that anyone who was nice to me was really trying to take something from me. I was friendly to her but never anything more. She approached me at our 20th H.S. reunion where we exchanged small talk. She still looked at me as if I hung the moon. It was too late by then. Beth J., I deeply regret not being braver.
Related on Bored Panda
