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30 People Reveal What Parents Are Too Extreme In This Viral Thread About ‘Helicopter Parenting’
No matter how much they might love their kids, at some point, parents need to learn to draw firm boundaries. You can’t still baby your child when they’re in their 20s, 30s, and…40s. Except, unfortunately, there are some helicopter parents who do that.
Today we’re featuring some of the most extreme cases of helicopter parenting ever, as shared in this viral r/AskReddit thread. Scroll down to see just how intense some parents can get when it comes to protecting their little (and not-so-little) munchkins from the big bad world. And if you feel like sharing, why not tell us about the very worst cases of over-the-top parenting that you’ve seen, dear Pandas?
Helicopter parents get their name from the fact that they ‘hover’ over their kids and pay extremely close attention to their lives. No problem or challenge can be kept secret from them. No event will remain hidden for long. And God forbid that you stand in their way or you do anything to even slightly inconvenience their kids.
Bored Panda reached out to Lenore Skenazy to have a chat about helicopter parenting, why parents do it, and what can be done to stop it. Lenore is the president of Let Grow, the nonprofit promoting childhood independence, and author of ‘Free-Range Kids: How Parents and Teachers can Let Go and Let Grow.’
“Parents don’t set out to helicopter—it’s boring, nerve-wracking, and takes a ton of time—but our society has made it almost impossible NOT to helicopter,” she told us.
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#1
My brother was injured in a training accident in the Israeli army. It wasn't life threatening but it was a pretty messy injury that needed immediate care. For some reason the base commander tried to hide the injury and refused to send my brother to the hospital. Instead he sent him to the camp medic who took one look at my brother and said "here, have some morphine and holy god I'm going to call for help". My brother asked him to call my mom.
My mom, a military police colonel at the time, commandeered a helicopter along with a squad of MP's. She then flew up into Lebanon where my brother was based, landed in the middle of his base, ordered her way into the medical tent while setting the MP's outside as guards, loaded my brother into the chopper and evacced him out.
To be fair, she's a great mom who usually lets us fail on our own, but you asked for helicopter parenting examples and it doesn't get more helicopter parent than actually commandeering a helicopter to go take care of your son!
Ines Olabarria-Smith 3 years ago
That’s a mother who takes care. I know my mine would do it too.
Louloubelle 3 years ago
My mother would have too! Nothing better than a mom that loves you that much!
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Joe Reaves 3 years ago
Medic was like ... fantastic the commander will be too busy running from her to come after me for not helping him cover it up AND my patient gets help. Win-win.
According to childhood independence expert Lenore Skenazy, modern society is structured in such a way that parents almost inevitably start helicoptering.
“Schools expect parents to drop off and pick up their children—at least here in America they do—and they often expect them to stick around for ‘Reading Buddies’ and various class events. Then, after school, if a child is not in some extracurricular activity or sports program, there may not be any other kids left to just play with in the park,” she explained the situation to Bored Panda.
“So even the non-helicopter parent ends up enrolling their kid in a sport or activity, too, and sometimes they are required to stay and watch, and sometimes the sport meets five days a week! And after that, there’s a lot of homework the parents are expected to oversee, and reading time, and teeth-brushing supervision, and pretty soon an adult has been by the child’s side, directing their every move, for most of the day.”
RELATED:
#2
Mine. I was 20 years old and still not allowed out of the house without my mom, and I had to hold hands crossing the street. I never had a job, never learned to cook, all because I was in her words going to live with her forever.
I got a boyfriend, even though I'd never been allowed to visit anyone's house. Ever. She asked to see his SS and birth certificate to prove he was the age he said he was.
I told her I wanted to move out and she freaked. Called police and told them I was mentally unstable, told them I wasn't ready for the outside world.
The police believed her and it took me a full year to actually escape. I even had relatives parked outside at night to make sure I didn't leave.
I'm now 23 and slowly adjusting to the world but it's hard. I can cook but driving is hard. I have no social skills. I don't know how to talk to people.
And she still asks me to come home every day via text.
QibliOfTheSandWings 3 years ago
Yeah. I don’t want to know what would have happened if she hadn’t escaped
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Dark Side of the Loom 3 years ago
This is psychological abuse, not helicopter parenting... So sorry for you, I hope you'll be fine eventually!
UpupaEpops 3 years ago
And this is when you say f**k this s**t and take her to court on the grounds of controlling coercive control, childhood abuse, libel, sustained harassment, etc.
Trashemotions Showflyer 3 years ago
(2)... it's challenging enough that you are a stranger to everyone and lost so much time. you might face a hard time to find out what is true to you. you find your strength in making small steps looking forward. i hope that person finds their freedom in focusing on themselves now, and not ruminating about the abuse that was put onto them.
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Sarah Spencer 3 years ago
As someone that escaped a Narc mother - you've got this. Remember that you can't do some things YET because you haven't had a chance to learn. Don't internalise the message that you are not capable. Because you ARE. OH... and life on the outside is fabulous 😁 You'll have the time of your life!
Bill Allen 3 years ago
Your mom should be in a mental ward along with the relatives that helped her guard the house.
Shelp 3 years ago
"She asked to see his SS": the first thing I think about while reading this is the mother asking to see Hans, the very authoritarian and not-so-smart SS officer that has been assigned to the boyfriend at birth. Like we all have one (or at least a regular Wehrmacht officer for those of us who don't represent such a big threat for the Regime). (/S)
Karis Ravenhill 3 years ago
Dude i'd have sued the police once i escaped for refusing to assist me and for helping her keep me captive.
#3
I was a manager of a bagel store. Had an interview with a kid, I think he was about 16.
His dad came to the interview, and basically answered every single question I asked the kid.
At the end of the interview I turned to the dad and said "You're hired.", look on his face was priceless. The kid laughed his ass off.
Kate Jones 3 years ago
I had an interview with an 18yr old and dad showed up. Not entirely unusual as some people even at 18 aren't entirely mature yet and it was her first job. I didn't have an office so I usually did interviews in the back of the store where it was quiet and her dad kept coming over. I kept telling him he couldn't be here for the interview and he could wait outside for her or wherever but he couldn't just stand there or chime in. It's not his job. He was so angry and she was so embarassed. I told her if I have to worry your dad is going to be here at every shift hovering over you I couldn't hire her. You'd be responsible for being in the store alone and I need to know you can handle that. She said she was so sorry and didn't want him to come but he just wouldn't let her do anything on her own. She promised he wouldn't be around. I gave her a chance and she turned out to be a great employee. She really wanted to get out from under her dad and was able to move out. (1)
Kate Jones 3 years ago
(2) At her first review a year later I told her how great she was doing and wanted to promote her. I really thought it was going to be a problem but she shooed him away anytime I saw him come in on cameras. She was working really hard (sometimes when you get them young they haven't been influenced by other jobs into being lazy yet, lol). She started crying and I was like 'what's wrong?!' and she ended up telling me that I was one of like 20 interviews she'd been on and couldn't get hired because of her dad's behavior. That her father had been so physically abusive and controlling so she was really happy to have work. He tried to take her money but she was able to make a friend at work who offered her a place to live. We only did direct deposits, so she would lie about how much she made and she saved enough to move out. She was a great worker. I ended up leaving but I think she's been promote to manager since then. It was good money, too.
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Patrick Wilson 3 years ago
I had a similar situation with a 20-year old girl and her Mom. I threw her Mom out of the room.
Susanne Bækvig 3 years ago
Pity you didn't get af photo of him then. I would hae loved to see it
Lenore stressed the fact that helicopter parenting has become such a norm that trying to do things differently, the old-fashioned way, can land someone in trouble for supposed neglect.
“When a parent really wants to raise a ‘Free-Range Kid’—a kid with some old-fashioned freedom to do things like play outside or even help out by running an errand—they worry that some busybody with a phone will call the cops to report a neglected child! So I don’t blame parents for helicoptering. They are forced to by the way our modern world refuses to believe kids can do anything safely or successfully on their own.”
#4
I had a mother turn up at my work place accusing me of racism that I didn’t hire her daughter. We’re a very multicultural practice and myself and 2 other people are white English, 6 Indian staff, 2 Greek, 2 Nigerian, 3 Chinese and 3 Pakistani. I took her to our photo wall of staff and asked her why she thinks I was racist and she said that her daughter “looked more Indian than the other staff”... Her daughter, who was more than qualified, didn’t get the job for a couple of reasons:
1 - She refused to put her phone away during the interview in case her mother phoned. 2 - Her mother phoned more than 10 times - she answered every call. 3 - She asked if she could keep her mum on the phone to listen into the interview in case she needed help to answer my questions.
How could she run a practice if she needed to have her mum help her at the interview?!
Natalie Bohrteller 3 years ago
I have a hard time believing that. Why would anybody not tell her thank you, that's it, after like at least the second call?
Marianne 3 years ago
Because it got funny and they wanted to see how far the mother would go.
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Susanne Bækvig 3 years ago
I hope you told her why you would not hire her. Maybe she did not think it unusual
Pamela Blue 3 years ago
In answer to your remarks "the way our modern world refuses to believe kids can do anything safely or successfully on their own" is ONLY in North America. In Europe, children are allowed to go and play in the park with their friends. The are allowed to get on their bikes and go for rides. They walk themselves to school, and they go to the store to buy stuff on their own. There's something about North Americans that they think their children are totally incapable of functioning without them. Yet they go all nostalgic about the past and how they used to go out and play.
ZAPanda 3 years ago
This is how women inadvertently perpetuate patriarchy because this girl will never be able to get a job without her mom sabotaging it and therefore forcing the daughter to depend on a man for income.
Immortal Emperor Paradox 3 years ago
I don't think it's just the mom. Many times both the parents 'helicoptor' i.e. keep constant eye on their kids.
Load More Replies... #5
I used to teach middle school. The teacher next to me had given a 6th grade girl a C on a paper because it didn't meet the proper criteria.
Mom was livid and came into the school furious about the grade.
After the teacher and Mom went back and forth about the grade, the Mom blurts:
"I HAVE A COLLEGE DEGREE AND I TOOK WRITING COURSES FOR FOUR YEARS, AND I WROTE THIS PAPER. ARE YOU TELLING ME I CAN'T GET AN 'A' ON A 6TH GRADE ASSIGNMENT?"
The teacher stuck to her guns, but never answered the question.
Samantha Lomb 3 years ago
I have no idea why parents cheat for the kids. Sure you get a short term result while the kid learns zero skills and is crippled for life.
Momma Panda 3 years ago
When I was 9 my teacher disliked me because of where I live and who my parents are. Only kids whose parents were doctors and CEOs would get a better grade than C. I was a C student no matter how hard I worked. My mom decided to hand in homework that is the same as this other kid's. Her mom was some kind of CEO (therefore an A student) they were friends and wrote our homework over coffee. I got a C, and she got an A. My mom called out the teacher in front of other parents, told them what they did, and the teacher admitted she never even read mine, she graded it only based on what my name was..
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Seanette Blaylock 3 years ago
"Actually, let me go ahead and change that grade. It's now an F, because the student did not actually do the work. That's called cheating."
MysteriousLegBruise 3 years ago
I would never do my daughter's homework for her! Help, yes, of course, but DO it? It's insane how much this happens and these parents are robbing their children of a proper education! Truly heartbreaking. It's sabotage plain and simple
Lorna Fraser 3 years ago
I taught first grade and gave one of my students an Unsatisfactory for handwriting (on her report card). The parent came to me and stated she thought her daughter'd handwriting was good for a first grader (it was basicall scribble). I just told the parent I didn't think so and I'm the teacher . The Unsatisfactory stayed.
Invisible Potato 3 years ago
I would chanage the score to F infront of her as her kid didint do anything
Aldhissla VargTimmen 3 years ago
yeah my mom did this and the result is i'm now an adult and have no idea how to write an essay, this was especially hard when I was in college. My mom had to help me out even then...
Martha B. Higgins 3 years ago
I would have changed the grade to an "F" since the girl had not done the work herself.
J.A. Rogers 3 years ago
I'd flunk the kid. Sorry, kid, but it's the only way that mother might learn something.
#6
My wife being a teacher had to deal with this on a regular basis. Usually, she would have that parent do menial tasks so they would not bother the class. One parent became so overbearing (demanding to see lesson plans, making my wife take class time to re-explain subjects), my wife deliberately left a quiz out. This parent took the quiz and slipped her kid the answers. Knowing the kid was not a good student, my wife got the parent to fess up to taking the test and passing the answers. This went to the principal, and he banned her from the class. The parent made multiple complaints, even going to a district meeting. The school board held up the ban.
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
I noticed that how richer the parents are, the more they want to control everything that's going on in their kids life.
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Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
Where is it that parents are allowed to be in class? I mean, what a huge disruption that must be! If kids need help they have teacher aides/learning assistants available here, and honestly I don't know if it's legal or not here (NZ) to go to your kids classes coz I've never seen or heard of it here 🤷♀️🤔 It just seems so wrong. Not having them at school would ensure that even overprotected/helicoptered children could have a go at building skills independently
Louloubelle 3 years ago
When my kids were in kindergarten, parents would volunteer, helping out with snacks, and art projects. I don't remember it beyond that class. It wasn't particularly distracting. Most of the parents did their tasks across the room. But, this was simply my experience. I can see what you're saying. This class had several mothers that volunteered, so it wasn't one particular mother getting in the way.
Load More Replies... Dark Side of the Loom 3 years ago
I'm a teacher, and I have a student whose helicopter mom does everything for him (he's 17)... She even sends me private messages via his Teams account, pretending to be him (I know it bc when in class if I tell him about things "he" has messaged me, he obviously doesn't have a clue). Creepy, and such a disservice for that kid...
John Dilligaf 3 years ago (edited)
the only unbelievable part about this is the school board having the backbone to support your wife and the principle.
Patti Vance 3 years ago
moved from CA to midwest town/village. there were lots of parent volunteers at the school. i noticed that there were specific parents who were given menial tasks and this may explain why. there were a few parents who questioned why i could get some things done that they couldn't. maybe it was the fact that i would address them w/respect, be willing to initiate conflict when required as well as knowing that my kid was no angel & was made to be accountable for their actions. this doesn't mean i didn't stand up for my kid when he was right but that i didn't expect the school & staff to be psuedo-babysitters for 8 hrs a day. i had plenty of conflict at times w/staff but always was respectful & didn't resort to screaming to get a point across.
Kate Jones 3 years ago
I'm not a teacher but I imagine it's been really bad during covid where the parents were home while their kids were on the computer. If anyone is a teacher... did you end up having parents there, interrupting the class on your zoom or have them correcting you or anything? I could imagine the nightmare stories.
Scott Ortes 3 years ago
We all laugh at this, but Indiana basically just made it legal for parents to exhibit this behavior.
However, it’s not a done deal that we have to resign ourselves to a future chock full of helicopter parents. Lenore shared some spot-on advice with us on how to change the situation and create a healthier, happier family environment.
“The best and I think ONLY way to stop helicoptering is to gently push parents into letting go, even one time, so they can see how fantastic it feels to them AND their kids. That’s what The Let Grow Project makes happen,” she said.
“The Project is an independence-building program for schools created by the nonprofit I run, and it’s free! Any teacher, counselor, or principal can download The Let Grow Project right here. It’s basically a homework assignment teachers give their students that says, ‘Go home and do one new thing on your own, without your parents.’ The kids, anywhere from age 5 through 15, then talk with their parents about something they feel they’re ready to do but haven’t done yet, like walk to school, go to the store, climb a tree…you name it,” she went into detail about the Let Grow Project.
#7
As a kid, my sister had a friend and went over to her house quite a bit to hang out with her. The friend lived in a very nice, quiet neighborhood.
After a day of hanging with her friend at her house, my sister told me that her friend’s parents had placed cameras in her room. The camera was also equipped with a microphone to not only hear what was going on in her room, but also to speak to the child.
My sister told stories after coming home about the Mom calling in to the room to sometimes tell them to stop doing an activity or to be a little more quiet. THIS WOMAN WAS WATCHING THEIR EVERY MOVE AND LISTENING TO THEIR EVERY CONVERSATION!
I feel bad for the girl, honestly. To me that’s a huge invasion of privacy, as well as it is extremely creepy in general.
If it were me, I’d throw every camera installed in the room straight out the window, or at the Mom. Whichever.
ᴠᴀ̈ɪɴᴏ 3 years ago
Actually, this is punishable under law. I suggest you talk to the authorities immediately. No time to waste.
Jude Fire 3 years ago
My father did this to me and I can't tell you how disgusted I was to find out that he put them in my bathroom too.
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cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
I would find the recordings and send the ones of me naked to the police
De Gueb 3 years ago
I would start making stories up, about stealing, sex, satanic rituals, plan to kill parents.
#8
Military recruiting - the helicopter parents who would try to have us recruit their kid without their consent were staggering. Parents would call to make appointments for testing, and were furious when we said we had to speak to the kid. If the kid is a minor, the parents have to sign a waiver, and at that point we can no longer give any information to the parent, so some parents would call and pose as their child in order to get test results, book appointments, and so on. Some parents even tried to attend the testing with their child and were furious when we said no.
Then, invariably, when little Johnny got turned down for being a s*** pump with no initiative, we'd get an earful from Mommy about how their child is the most special human being on the earth. Those were the fun times when I could say "have you stopped to consider that Johnny isn't getting a job because he has no initiative or desire to be here based on a parent pushing him into a career he doesn't want, rather than him being allowed to make his own choices?" Usually didn't go over well, and then I'd hang up.
Samantha Lomb 3 years ago
Why would people who are insanely overprotective send the kid to a job where getting shot at is expected? This sounds more like "the army will teach you discipline" kind of control freaks
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
Those parents always think that their precious will get a safe desk job somewhere in the Pentagon and will be exempt from deployment if Mommy talks to the CO.
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Otter 3 years ago
No true helicopter parent would push their kid into the military, where they'd be away from home, out of contact, or unable to obey orders from the parents! No, these are some other type of nutball.
Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago
Absentee parents that want everyone else to raise their kid.
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Uber Mensch 3 years ago
That's one of the (few) nice things about working in the military: you have to *seriously* screw up to get "fired". Talking to a parent like this likely didn't even get noticed.
#9
Working summer orientation for my old community college, and we have new students register for classes towards the end of the session. Counselors are there to help with class selection. This one mom was literally hovering over her son telling him which classes to choose and completely ignoring the counselor's advice, when she had [her son] stand up. She proceeded to sit down, and she herself started registering her son for his classes. I tried to intervene, letting her know that we ask that the student [to] register themselves, and that he'll be doing online registration for the rest of his college career. I was told to f**k off. Later, I pulled him aside and told him to change his password and swap into a class more appropriate for his placement exams. It was this incident that triggered us to design a parent orientation to keep them away from their kids.
sofacushionfort 3 years ago
“You will not verbally assault the staff. You must leave immediately or be liable for criminal trespass.”
Connie Hirsch 3 years ago
A 'parent orientation' is a genius idea, for that reason. A friend of mine who works at a college library regularly had parents coming in to take the library orientation in place of their student child....
Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago
Lol my kid's drivers ed school was like that. Parents did orientation and paid for the class in the office and students did registration and q & a in the classroom. I could tell the helicopter parents because they were hovering by the door and would open it when they'd notice their kid talking. Made me laugh. I am the child of a mom with NPD, DID and PTSD. I can spot this behaviour very quickly. Poor kids.
Load More Replies...“The family agrees on a Project and off the kid goes. The parent is uncomfortable for a little while and probably the kid is too. But when that child comes BACK—flushed and happy and proud—it breaks the ice of fear in BOTH generations! The parent is thrilled to see their child blossoming into a competent, confident young adult. The child is thrilled that their parents believed in them.”
Lenore shared with us this 2-minute video about “elementary school kids talking about their Let Grow Projects and parents saying things like, Now my daughter is having the kind of childhood I had. She DOES things now, she’s not just on a screen.’”
Meanwhile, another 2-minute video shows three teachers talking about how the Let Grow Project helped kids get back to normal after all the disruptions of Covid. “Finally, here’s an ‘at home’ version, The Let Grow Independence Kit, for parents to download, too. It’s free, too,” Lenore shared some resources that can help boost kids’ independence and help helicopter parents change their ways.
#10
I knew a mother who kept her 5-year-old daughter in diapers when they went out of the house because she didn't want her using public restrooms. Because the girl sitting in her own excrement was much better for her health, apparently.
Samantha Lomb 3 years ago
How will she send the kid to school? Or just homeschool and then send them to work in depends?
IlovemydogShilo 3 years ago (edited)
I was a teaching assistant at a Primary (elementary) school a few years back. The teacher that taught 1st grade told me that she was in serious trouble the previous year with a mother when she was told by her that she the mother, could not come into the classroom 3 times a day to breast feed her son. Her son was 6. In Ireland the age that a child starts school is 4 or 5. He was kept back because his mother thought he wasn't ready for school yet. He was only going then because she was being forced to by the local authority as she couldn't home school him. This was 23 years ago so he'll be a man of 29 now. I dread to think what his life is like.
KariLovesHerKat 3 years ago
I've not got a problem with breast feeding as long as you want but trying to get into the classroom to do it ! That's just nutty
Load More Replies... Andy Acceber 3 years ago
I knew a mom of an 11-year-old on the spectrum. He was still in pull-ups. I was his aide in an afterschool program. The bizarre thing was: He didn't need pull-ups. The kid was perfectly capable of using the bathroom himself. Mom had gone through a lot of trauma in the past few years (divorce from kid's dad, then stepdad died suddenly) and had just never put in the time to transition the kid's toileting. The kid thought change was hard and didn't want to transition either, making the whole thing more complicated. I got him to use the bathroom a couple of times. I do wonder what happened to him. He was a smart kid -- just really really hated change.
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
We had a 4 year old boy with ASD in nappies where I worked. All good, we get that toilet training can be hard especially with disabilities. Teachers gave a sigh of relief when he was toilet trained before starting the next year though.
Load More Replies... Kate Jones 3 years ago
Every time I hear people yelling 'parents know what's best for their kids!' I think of s**t like this and remember...nope, no they don't.
Syd 3 years ago
I'm ashamed to admit my sister is doing something similar with her youngest. Not that the child cannot use a public restroom, it's that the child actively WANTS to wear "pull-ups" than to go to the restroom. She's 7 and my sister allows it (basically babying her last child). Frustrating but since I am not a parent I'm not allowed an opinion.
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
Reminds me of a friend's partner's sister. Not toileting (though I wouldn't be surprised) but eating. They actively spoon fed her until around 13 years. Not sure what she did at school, but I suspect she just didn't eat there as she liked being fed and it also caused some neurosis about food (unsurprisingly).
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Trish Smith 3 years ago
In our school district, a child has to be potty trained and capable of going to the restroom WITHOUT assistance, BEFORE being allowed to attend even preschool. Of course, accidents can, and do, occur. However, unless there are other issues, the parent could be investigated by CPS (Child Protective Services).
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
We (Australia) had rules about that in the past, then around when I was a kid (90s) it changed to being allowed, but only if parents came to change them when needed. Then changed again so now it is not a requirement, because toilet training does take time and can be especially hard on those with disabilities. As a teacher, it is a pain having to change nappies or clean up accidents and it means you are one set of eyes/hands off the floor, but it doesn't hamper the kids experience usually which is the most important thing.
Load More Replies... #11
Had a mother call me to find out why her son didn't get the job.
He's 40.
And an attorney.
Trish Smith 3 years ago
WOW!! Creepy beyond words!! Geesh! What is wrong with these people??!!
J.A. Rogers 3 years ago
How did he make it through law school by himself? Or did Mommy pay somebody to take all his classes and the state bar, too?
RoseAnne Hutchence 3 years ago
We're surrounded by young adults with no work ethic, no ambition, entitlement ... and we wonder why?
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
Because she just wanted to know why no one wanted to hire him....
#12
One lady we had over was shocked that my (at the time) 9 year old younger brother could dress himself and brush his teeth.
Claiming that he was “so mature” and that her daughter age 9, couldn’t do anything like that.
My mom immediately realized it was helicopter parenting and had a long talk with her. I hope that little girl has learned how to dress herself and do lots of other basics now.
Ashley Lynne 3 years ago
I have an 11 year old with autism that can't do those things independently and trust me-i want her to. Parents who try to keep their kids dependent on them irk me
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
It's incredibly selfish. It's like they aren't seeing their child as an individual person who has their own life ahead of them.
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Cattress511 3 years ago
My daughter will be 4 in April and she is a little delayed, speech and comprehension, and the pandemic has prevented much needed social interaction that I think is really going to help her. That said, my husband and I are on the older side of first time parents , 39& 40, and we struggle not to baby her (he's worse than me). We don't even realize we are doing it, like instead of just helping her get started dressed and let her take over once she finds the arm holes, we pull the shirt over head, feed her arms into the sleeves one at a time, the whole bit. I'm so happy when she insists on doing something herself because it reminds me to give her more opportunities to try. And it's hard to watch her struggle, especially if she gets frustrated and upset. I want to make it all better, and I have to get tough with myself & be like 'self, you need to back off and just be a cheerleader!'
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
Even many preschool educators struggle not to do things for kids at first. As long as you know you do it and try to change it's okay.
Load More Replies... Susanne Bækvig 3 years ago
I pity the poor kids, that do not learn how to fend for themselves. Do those parents believe themselves to outlive their kids?
Francesca Annoni 3 years ago
My son is 2,5 y.o. ..he brushes his teeth,he can undress himself.. we are working on dressing himself..he can put socks, shoes with velcro, cap and jacket .. we have a lot of work to do with shirts and trousers .. I know he can do it because he has an older brother (5 yo) who can do all of this as an example... and he learnt a lot in kindergarten.. maybe she's a single daughter?
Rissie 3 years ago
Good on you. But don't force it. You don't have to work on dressing. I know it seems important and it is important if it doesn't happen on its own, but a normal parent-child relationship will not ask for a lot of effort. Parents should stop to feel the need to do everything for their kids and kids should feel the need to do it themselves. There should be no "work to do" just try and if it works it works and if he needs a little help for a little longer, that's, fine, too. No spang.
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Caroline Starr 3 years ago
My 4 year old granddaughter has spent the afternoon in a paddling pool in the garden and is now exhausted. She has just come in, taken off her swimsuit, dried herself, cleaned her teeth, found and dressed herself in her pjs and got into bed.
Benita Valdez 3 years ago
Yeah my mom would only dress me in elementary school when I was refusing to wake up and get out of bed; she would dress me in bad to wake my ass up to get moving
RoseAnne Hutchence 3 years ago
Thank goodness for mothers with careers! They don't have time to helicopter!
“The key is for parents to get over the terror of worrying ‘What if???’ and see reality—’What IS?’ The reality is that kids can do a whole lot more on their own than our culture gives them credit for. Their newfound independence will make your heart soar!”
Previously, Bored Panda spoke about parenting with blogger Samantha Scroggin, the founder of Walking Outside in Slippers. She explained to us that it’s vital that parents see their children as individuals. That means recognizing their own unique needs and giving them room to grow.
What’s more, it’s important to keep in mind that not all parenting advice is universal: what works for one family might not work for someone else’s kids.
#13
My sister is a freshman in college, and her roommate has an absolute psycho helicopter mom. They're both on the cross country team and very good students. My sister said the roommate never drinks or goes out, but her mom tracks her through phone GPS and will text her constantly asking why she's at such and such place.
My sister said one time they were at Wal-Mart getting groceries, and her mom called her to ask why she was at Wal-Mart at 9pm. Another time, they drove to my other sister's (she lives in the same town) apartment to pick something up and the girl's mom called and starts yelling and asking why she's been sitting in a parking lot for 20 minutes. My sister said she'll constantly have to send pictures of them at the library to her to prove they're actually studying.
I just don't get that kind of smothering of your kid. I mean, if you want to check up on what they're doing then fine... especially if you're paying the bills, but dang, the poor girl can't even have a normal college experience and is constantly worried about upsetting her mom. It just all seems so unhealthy to me. I mean I had friends' parents who did that in high school, but once they're adults in college, you really have to cut the cord.
T. D. Bostick 3 years ago
If she's a college freshman, she's an adult. I'd ditch the GPS tracking app.
Louloubelle 3 years ago
This could be my niece. I love my sister, but she makes helicopter mother's look negligent. I'm going to get beat up for this, but I suggested to my niece that she get a burner phone, and leave the one that mom pays for in her dorm.
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Canadian in Cornwall 3 years ago
And parents wonder why their children grow up and go No Contact !!!!
Karis Ravenhill 3 years ago
I'd have to assume the girl was being financially blackmailed by parents paying for her education, otherwise she'd have thrown the GPS tracking app and told them to sling their hook.
Julianne Hannes 3 years ago (edited)
This was my Mom, I went to college a 1000miles away and it didn't make a difference, I had to call her three times a day, and the one time I started hanging out with a boy and didn't call her back for one night, she called the dean and my RA and claimed I was suicidal and I woke up at 5am to my RA and the dean BARGING into my dorm roim doing a welfare check on me causing the biggest scene, mortifying me in front of my whole dorm hall and thus making my social anxiety worse to the point where I hid out in the library the whole time and lost 50lbs becoming underweight avoiding eating at the cafeteria and living on the vending machines because I had no car and had no friends I could trust. Now I hide EVERYTHIING from my mom including my sexuality.
Liz the Wanderer 3 years ago
That's so awful. I'm sorry. I hope things are better for you, and you have freed yourself from her. My father was a narcissist, and I haven't seen him in over 20 years. It saved my life.
Load More Replies... Jude Fire 3 years ago
Her mother cannot legally track her location . That's considered stalking. Doesn't matter if its your child or not. Tracking an adult's location and then questioning them on where they are and why they were there is just fvucking creepy. And to get past the tracking, she can just buy another phone and pay her own bill . And if she can't afford that,she can set the phone back to factory settings after sending herself an email with all her apps and contacts listed.
Leodavinci 3 years ago
I know someone who was literally told to "cut the apron strings" by a counselor... a marriage counselor. Her and her husband went to marriage counseling over her mother's intrusions in their marriage life... and this was something going on while they lived on opposite sides of the country from the mother who stilled lived back in the old home state. She (and her mom) wanted them to move back, but he wanted to stay where they were because of her mom's meddling. However, she didn't want to go back without him and she couldn't force him because he refused even when she threaten to leave him. Everyone who knew him told him they knew he would go back if she got pregnant, but he said no he wouldn't. Well, she got pregnant and yep, they moved back by the time their child was 5. Her mom moved in with them and stayed until she died. About 30 years, if I remember correctly. They had no other children.
Mab Le Philosophfae 3 years ago
Tell her to get a cheap cell for emergencies etc & leave the tracked one in the dorm when not in class
Pamela Blue 3 years ago
I'd ditch the app if I could, and if I couldn't, I'd get another phone for when I'm out of the room or not in class. Poor old mom would think I was either studying in my room or in class.
#14
While working at new student orientation in college, I was told a story from a previous year. The parents who attended orientation were housed separately from the students. One mom wanted to stay with her daughter and took the bed of another student. The mom told the student she can find somewhere else to sleep.
The student, not knowing what to do, ended up sleeping in a chair in the common area of the dorm.
King Kashue 3 years ago
Easily couldn't have known until the next morning. Someone fresh out of high school isn't necessarily going to "tell" on a parent (especially if it's a female student- our society tells women to 'not rock the boat') and, unless the dorms were completely cleared out of students in general, someone crashed out in the common area could easily be a regular occurrence.
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Karis Ravenhill 3 years ago
Sorry, a college student would have said "did your parents/scholarship pay for that bed? No? THEN GET YOUR FUC*ING A**E OUT OF IT BEFORE I SMASH YOU THROUGH A WINDOW!"
Pezor Zass 3 years ago
and then the college student would get kicked out for being threatening? You have a very fanciful image of the average student.
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Caitlin M. Maguire 3 years ago
That's nuts. I had a roommate my freshmen year, who's mom came to visit overnight and instead of my roommate giving her mom the bed, she made the mom sleep on the floor! This reminds me of that.
Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
I've never even heard of parents being allowed to attend college orientation.
#15
My mom. When my mom and brother came to visit me in the city I I lived in at that time, in we went to a building that is a tourist attraction. She's already been there so she stayed down in some coffee shop while me and my brother went in to go to the top. There was a really big line and while we were waiting he was telling me of all the times she'd go crazy because I would miss to reply to her for one day or so. We were joking that considering how long the whole tour of the building was taking, she'd probably already be talking to cops. When we got out, there she was, talking to a cop. Because someone probably kidnapped two adults in a crowded building packed with security and tourists.
L. Murphy 3 years ago
All of these posts make me embarrassed to be female. Seriously, these women are bat s**t nuts.
KariLovesHerKat 3 years ago
I feel uncomfortable and smothered reading them. Very damaging behaviour
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Karen Cassidy 3 years ago
Sounds like my mother. Went to a movie that began at 8:30. She kept begging me not to go because something might happen. I’m 70 years old
“I am trying to do more to meet my kids where they’re at, figuring in their personality and what their needs are for them personally. In the past, I would sometimes assume that I knew what was best for my kids, based on what the ‘average’ kid ‘should’ need or want. But kids can be so different, even within the same family,” the parenting blogger told Bored Panda during a previous interview.
#16
A guy I know is 23. He has two moms. Adopted.
I'm not sure which mom is worse. One of them runs all his social media accounts. We would get messages from him that just sounded weird. When asked, he would have no idea what he said. He has a cell phone that can only call his parents and 911. Not allowed to drive. Anytime he goes somewhere new, his mom tags a long for a few hours to "check things out." He's only allowed to eat at certain restaurants, has to check in with his moms constantly.
He doesn't see any issue with this... I almost think its a form of abuse. He is not an independent thinker... he relies on everyone else to make decisions for him. Smart kid too.
Kira Okah 3 years ago
It is abuse, and sadly those who have known it their lives often don't realise that it is. One of my old flatmates was being financially abused and he never saw issue or saw it as abuse, he even claimed that it was good for his mother and step father to control his finances because they had convinced him that autistic people like him were unable to control their impulses and that extended to spending. So sad.
ZAPanda 3 years ago
yup my ex did this to me. wanted 100% oversight of my finances. guess waht, now I am no longer with her I am 100% climbing out of debt. oops.
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Glynn Reid 3 years ago
It is abuse. The problem for the guy, as I found out myself under different circumstances, is that this is all he knows, so doesn't see the abuse. I was almost that age when I realised that not every household had almost nightly screaming matches, violence and threats of violence.
Trish Smith 3 years ago
Bless your heart! I hope you are healthy, and FREE, now and not living in that horribly, abuse situation!
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#17
I worked at a science museum that had hands on for kids.
The aim of the game was for the child to solve a problem by themselves. Like "can you get x to do y", they make something, test it, and figure out how to make it better.
One day a woman comes in, practically dragging her five year old son. She sits him down beside me and starts poking me on the shoulder and I'm talking to another family.
"Tell my son what to do," she says, standing over him. I tell the family to hold on a sec, as I explain the challenge to the newcomer. The whole point is to work autonomously, so it was alright, and I was used to working with a few rude/pushy parents so I wasn't surprised. I tell the kid the prompt, tell him he had a wide range of materials...
But no. The woman wants me to tell him every step of the process. "Tell him the answer! Tell him the answer!" she says repeatedly, grabbing his hands to make him fold paper, or reaching for my own.
I start getting mad. "Ma'am, the goal here is to learn the scientific method. Make a hypothesis, test it, make conclusions and try again."
"But you already KNOW the answer," she says, "tell my son! Or I'm calling your manager!"
I don't even have a manager. In the mean time, the poor kid is looking so embarrassed. Ever time he tries to start something for himself, his mom reaches for his hands and tells him to wait for me to tell him what to do. The woman was so afraid of him failing when the whole point was to learn from one's mistakes. I'm so worried about how he'll deal with mistakes growing up, with her around.
Samantha Lomb 3 years ago
He will simply stop trying to even do the task. If you don't try you can't fail. Or he will get frustrated, move out as young as possible and never speak to her again
El muerto 3 years ago
equally possible, that the kid become so indoctrinated, that they are never able to cut the cord.
Load More Replies... Stannous Flouride 3 years ago
There's an old maxim that innovations in science are made less often by "Eureka!" moments than by "Hmm, that's odd." The nature of the scientific method is based on trial and error.
Trish Smith 3 years ago
And we wonder why some children "snap" and commit matricide/patricide!
Lorrie Rothstein 3 years ago
She said I'm calling the manager.thats ridiculous. Someone should have escorted the mom out of the room
#18
I'm 18. My parents make me have an app that tracks location and speed in vehicles and such. I'm also in college about 3 hours away from home. One night at around 8 pm I decided I was going to go get some pictures at the lake literally across the street from campus, less than a 2 minute walk. The second my foot hits the other side of the street I get a text from my mom asking me what I'm doing. Stuff like this happens all the time. Cool! so not weird at all to know that you were watching my location at that exact moment! Things like this are the reason I have really bad anxiety. So now I just spoof my location 24/7 because it's really unnecessary to ask me where I'm going or what I'm doing every time I leave my room.
Theoretical Empiricist 3 years ago
And put the old one on a bus going out of town.
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Urbangirlatl 3 years ago
Thumbs up for recognizing this behavior is BS and spoofing to get around it.
Freya the Wanderer 3 years ago
Extra points for spoofing! P*ss on that controlling ogress.
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Oopsydaisy 3 years ago
Get a burner phone. She'll probably want to know why you're in your room all the time. You can tell her you're masturbating.
Enby.Minecraft.Bee. 3 years ago
When my mom used to do this i would leave my phone at home. When she would ask where i was i would say i was sleeping or doing some work.
“My 6-year-old daughter, for example, is very organized and a bit of a perfectionist. She also needs lots of attention and affection. While my 10-year-old son is a sometimes wild but also very sensitive and artistic soul. He needs his space. They are night and day,” Samantha shared a bit about her children.
“I have learned I need to adapt my expectations of them and goals for them based on their individual personalities and quirks. I can create space for them to be who they are, and I believe this acceptance and customized attention will benefit them in the long run as they develop into teens and then adults.”
#19
Tales from the classroom: 1. That time a parent argued with me when their child cheated because I didn't specifically say that copying homework was cheating. 2. That time the parent clearly wrote the entire essay for her child. Parents, let your kids fail and learn.
Marco Hub-Dub 3 years ago (edited)
It’s cute when people plead ignorance of the law or rule or tenet, more, doctrine, policy as an excuse to violate it and doubles down as if that relieves them of liability and culpability.
#20
My sister was friends with this girl in middle school whose mom would put her tampons in for her because she was worried she wouldn't do it right. Tampons, not pads, not that pads would have been normal either.
Momma Panda 3 years ago
Reading these makes me think that we need to introduce mandatory psychological evaluation before we are allowed to reproduce. This woman needs to be put in an institution 🙍♀️
that weird weeb 3 years ago
This took a minute to register. She put tampons...inside her daughter?? In middle school?? I'm sorry but I've never seen a culture that normalizes this. This woman needs to chill.
Amy Taylor 3 years ago
My daughters won't even let me see them undressed! They would be so horrified!!!
KariLovesHerKat 3 years ago
Something is seriously wrong here. Where else would the girl put it?
Anne Edwards 3 years ago
I have a friend who had a little trouble the first time, many years ago. It wasn't working. Yes, she put it in the wrong hole. She still laughs about it.
Load More Replies... Kate Jones 3 years ago
This is horrifying. There's no way. I wouldn't be able to sit and have her do it. I mean...there are feelings you have to understand when inserting a tampon to know when it's in just right...someone else can't do this for you. Could you imagine someone shoving a tampon in at the wrong angle or something? The pain! Oh hell no.
#21
My aunt will not let her children play outside because they might get bitten by mosquitoes. Consequentially, they're 12 and 13 and don't know how to ride a bike.
Ugh.
ZAPanda 3 years ago
If they live in malawi, mozambique, uganda, etc., I can understand it, but if they are in the states this is weird.
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Susan Trevaskis-Owen 3 years ago
Does she not realize that mosquitos can get inside a house very easily?
Benita Valdez 3 years ago
I worked aa internship outside in tick and mosquito infested woods and only got bit when I went inside the work trailer.
Load More Replies... Caitlin M. Maguire 3 years ago
my former best friend's aunt was this way. She wouldn't let her kids play outside because she thought the neighbors were sketchy (as far as we know, they aren't), so her kids played on their iPads. No social skills.
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 3 years ago
I can't ride a bike either. Never learned and don't have the energy to learn
Melissa Rodriguez 3 years ago
That's fine because it is your decision whether or not to learn. These kids seem like they don't have a choice :(
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that weird weeb 3 years ago (edited)
It does matter where they are in the world. I know a family who won't let their kids outside to play much. It's because they live in Africa and malaria is everywhere. But in this one I'll assume you're in the U.S.
Pamela Blue 3 years ago
Maybe she is terrified of West Nile Virus? Or another US disease carrying mosquito? That's just plain weird.
Load More Replies... #22
I worked at a small community library. A kid lived in the building across the parking lot from the library. He would leave his building, walked the ~150 feet to the front door of the library, come to the desk and use the courtesy phone to call and report to his mom that he got to the library safely.
I remember the day that he didn't do this, she came flying into the library like 5 minutes later FREAKING OUT that her son had been kidnapped and we needed to find him.
Random Dog Owner 3 years ago
My dad won't even let me walk my dog and whenever we pass another dog while we are going on a walk, he tells me and my brother to get behind him
ethan hay jacob 3 years ago
my dog gets so exited and he is a 4 year old german shepard so it is VERY hard to control him
Load More Replies... Lindsey 3 years ago
Curious how old this kid is. I have my kids call me when they arrive somewhere when they are walking. Yes even up the road to a friends house. Not sure how this is helicoptering. Maybe if he's almost an adult but even then it's not all that crazy. But this all depends on how frantic she really is when looking for him. Perhaps that's the crazy part. Lol
Trillian 3 years ago
Unless your kids are pre-schoolers that is definitely helicoptering. Here kids are expected to walk to school on their own if possible. So from age 6 on they should be able to navigate short ways on their own without mommy checking in.
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#23
Was moving in freshmen to the dorms (if you agreed to move the newbies you got to move in 3 days early and beat the rush) Man approaches me "is this a co-ed dorm?" "yes..." "I asked for my daughter to be in the all female dorm" "Oh i understand sir, that's actually right across the breezeway. Usually it's in Building X but X is being renovated so they moved it here. That entire wing is only female" "But she could walk over here and it would be coed" "...well yes sir, she could walk anywhere she wanted to" ".................I'll tell her she's not allowed to walk this way"
that weird weeb 3 years ago
These overbearing parents make me furious. She's not allowed to walk in a certain direction? Honestly. This is college, not the marines.
J.A. Rogers 3 years ago
There ya go, for all the folks wondering where the helicopter fathers were.
#24
A 13 yo kid down the street. His mom, dad, and grandma were always with him. ALWAYS he had NEVER been away from them even when they have a nanny to watch him one of them was there. The kid was never on his own for anything and the creepiest thing I saw them do? We had them to a party in the park and when the 13 yo asked for a hot dog the mom FREAKED out(not because it was a hot dog, some parents have dietary restrictions) because I served them whole! She took the hot dog from his hand and cut it for him in little baby bites(like I would do for my 1year old at the time) Then handed it back to him like she saved his life. Let me get this straight he was a normal teen with no mental impediments. The dad took him to the bathroom with a gallon of sanitizer and baby wipes and make "sure" the by washed his hands. These people hold regular jobs one is a lawyer, one admin at our local hospital and the grams was an exec with the state attorney. They were from the Bay Area which we have a LOT of transplants from but they seem to have taken it to the next level helicoptering weirdness.
Enby.Minecraft.Bee. 3 years ago
¨Ya know suddenly my parents don't seem so bad¨ -My girlfriend when i told her how my mom was
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Karen Lyon 3 years ago
Oh, the Bay Area. (I teach in one of the main school districts in that place.) Lots of helicopter parents here. It drives me nuts.
Michelle L. Smith 3 years ago
Commission on Public records in each state generally keeps DD214's, which are obtainable for each service member
#25
My first room mate in college had a helicopter mom whose helicoptering bordered on abuse: 1. He was born deaf, she never allowed him to learn sign language because she would 'always be there to protect him' and 'he needs to live a normal life, not a deaf life' (her words, not mine.) He was pretty good at lip reading, and could vocalize remarkably well given how profound his hearing loss was. 2. She pulled me aside and very seriously asked me to inform her any time he talked to a girl, she said he has 'problems' with girls trying to take advantage of him. 3. Insisted he say good night to her every night, which meant he had to be on instant messenger (deaf, so he couldn't call without using a specialized typing phone) with her for at least an hour every night or else she'd call our room phone in a panic looking for him.
MaggieWest 3 years ago
No, no, no, no, no!!! Please, people, if your kid is Deaf, or even just hard-of-hearing, please teach them sign language and learn it yourself! If you are able to find them a Deaf community, find one. I wish my parents had done this when I was a kid, but nope, I just had alienation and eye rolling when they had to repeat themselves 🙄
Leodavinci 3 years ago
The problem all these parents (who think they will "always be there to protect") have is that they will likely die before their child and, therefor, won't "always be there". Consequently leaving behind an intellectually broken, non-functioning human being that, hopefully, will be helped by a charitable and caring society. I say "hopefully" referring to us saner people as I doubt any of these people have an ounce of foresight and are driven by a constant state of fear-driven, in-the-moment "now".
J.A. Rogers 3 years ago
I hope he wrenched himself out of her claws and landed in a nice deaf community. I've seen this happen: hearing parent(s) expect deaf child to be "normal." When I was a child, one family I knew well would regularly slap the youngest, a deaf toddler, every time he tried to gesture instead of speak. I have no idea what happened to him. I hope he's OK, but I doubt it.
deadinside 3 years ago
i hope he a) cuts her off b)learns sl, it's useful for a lot of situations anyways (too loud to hear, need to be quiet, etc) c) gets to be successful on his own
#26
My mother got me kicked out of the Army after learning I was going into a role where I might see combat. Cavalry Scout ( 19-D ). She contacted two Senators, worked her way through the chain of command until she got to my CO and apparently pissed off my CO to the point where I received "special attention". I spent 3 months in the reception battalion ( first stop before boot camp ) in a LOS vest ( Line of Sight, was pink with reflective tape and generally reserved for flight risks and suicidal people ). After a 15 minute visit with one of the psychologists, I was deemed to have Major Depressive Disorder and received an Entry Level Separation discharge. On the last day, my CO went through my paperwork, found my DD-214 and ripped it up so I couldn't reenter the military. I come from a family who's served continuously in the military for 5 generations until me. I was 18 at the time.
Victor Botha 3 years ago
This is so sad. Really feel sorry for this person. Destroying your child's dreams and ambitions is cruel and wicked.
Rissie 3 years ago
I agree about destroying dreams not being good and this mother being totally batshit. I don't feel anything negative about the outcome and someone not joining the army though.
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Dave In MD 3 years ago
BS. And by the way a DD 214 is just a document, you can get another copy. Your RE, reenlistment code is what determines if you can rejoin.
Karis Ravenhill 3 years ago
Destroying a DD-214 is illegal by your CO, and you can get another copy by request from the military at any time. Ripping up a DD-214 does not deter future enlistment. This story is SO FAKE.
that weird weeb 3 years ago (edited)
Because you might see combat? You aren't serious. You can't be. What did she think the army was?? A knitting club???
Zoe Vokes 3 years ago
Why couldn’t the CO tell the mom off? It doesn’t sound like he has much authority. And for the CO to ruin any hope of them rejoining in the future is cruel.
Pamela Blue 3 years ago
The CO couldn't say much because he had senators breathing down his neck. That mother deserves to be jailed for destroying her daughter's career. I hope she doesn't mind her daughter moving a few thousand miles away and never speaking to her again, because that would be my reaction.
Load More Replies... J.A. Rogers 3 years ago
Why would ripping up somebody's discharge papers prevent them from reenlisting? And it's not as if there aren't copies. Anyway... Mother is nuts, yes.
James Arvidson 3 years ago
Loss of the DD-214 will not prevent enlisting again. There is a copy at the record center filed by the military. The CO of in processing should not have anything to do with that process. You may need a waiver but a recruiter would be able to guide you to the proper channels. Just get away from your mother first. Good luck.
Anton Kider 3 years ago
Having your CO rip your DD-214 was probably a PITA. So sad altogether... ;-)
#27
A few years ago we were hiring for an entry level help desk position. A nice kid came in with his mom. I very politely offered her something to drink, and a place she could sit. She was NOT invited to the interview itself. This lady started to get very aggressive about being in the room, and the poor kid was getting embarrassed. My final answer was that he was no longer being considered for the position, and she lost it. Our receptionist called the police, and they were there within a minute. She called down a little when the police arrived, almost as if she had been through this before. They nicely escorted her off the property, and luckily we never heard from her again.
Canadian in Cornwall 3 years ago
And so.... ANOTHER person goes No Contact with their parents when they reach adulthood ! And the parents have no idea why? - pikachu face !!!
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Miss Cellania 3 years ago
Nothing. No job today, and probably no job ever.
Load More Replies... Vee! 3 years ago
why punish the kid though? just threaten to call the cops if she didn't leave then interview the kid
Louloubelle 3 years ago
Because they know she'll be trouble. She'll be the kind of mother that will call because the kid didn't get a raise or a promotion. Just stopping the problem before it starts.
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CATMONSTER2018 3 years ago
Wow... I didn't realize how much time it takes to read this. Its been like 20 minutes and this post is #17
Pamela Blue 3 years ago (edited)
That, actually, is a great learning opportunity for that kid. Now he knows to keep it a total secret when applying, and interviewing, for a job. If mom interferes after that, she's going to find that junior has applied for a job across country (or even out of country) to get away from her.
#28
Fifth grade overnight trip to nature center. A kid's mom went (was only parent that wasn't a teacher to go) and had a complete meltdown when she was told that her kid would be sleeping in a cabin with other kids and not her... She was told this before [the] trip as well. Four teachers per cabin, basically overnight school. She basically spent the entire night outside watching the cabin, really creeped everyone out...
Man, the rants she went on [on] Facebook... at least her friends and family called her out on her nonsense. [I] imagine quite a few people got blocked that day.
that weird weeb 3 years ago
The entire point of camping is that you are away from your parents and spending time away in a free environment. The only time I've seen kids be with their parent(s) constantly during camping is if they are special needs kids and can't do basic takes by themselves (eating, using the restroom, medications, etc). I do remember one parent when I was at a camp when I was little just parking their huge truck (a very nice silver Toyota) where the buses would come in and just watch their kid do everything. I even remember her intervening a couple of times when we set up to play ground hockey or when we went to play soccer. The poor kid always looked like he'd rather be buried alive than sit through his mother tell the counselors off.
Katherine Boag 3 years ago
My school always took parent helpers on school camps, 1 teacher for 30 kids is NOT enough for non-classroom activities. But my parent would be supervising other kids and 99% of the time would have nothing to do with me and I could get on with camp activities the same as the other kids
Load More Replies... Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
I wasn't even allowed to go on the fifth grade week-long camping trip, but I still had to go to school every day, and I was the only one in the entire fifth grade who didn't go.
Cattress511 3 years ago
I went on the camping trip in 5th grade, but I didn't stay. I was homesick, hungry because I really wouldn't eat cafeteria food after getting sick once in the 1st grade (and it probably wasn't the food but just a regular stomach flu, but I threw up the school food and the association stuck), and was generally not interested in the obstacle course activities. I might have stuck it out if I wasn't assigned a different school than all my friends (and to the first teacher I ever didn't like, actually hated) that year. I was plain miserable and faked sick after 1 night. I didn't regret it either, even when everyone was talking about all the fun they had. Just a homebody.
J.A. Rogers 3 years ago
Nutjob. My folks were fine when a bunch of us young teens were taken to camp out in the Santa Cruz Mountains. *We* were the ones freaking each other out about the Zodiac Killer while the adults slept peacefully indoors somewhere.
#29
My stepmom brushes my brothers' teeth. they're 14 and 12.
Bryce Hogencamp 3 years ago (edited)
They need to learn to do it, and the mom needs to let them be independent
#30
Ooh I've got one. My mom is a nurse at an elementary school. She has a student who is allergic to a lot of stuff, so it would be understandable if his parents were a bit cautious. His parents, however, are absolutely awful and overprotective. His mother will remove him from any activity that causes him even the slightest anxiety. They give him literally anything he wants in the world, and don't make him do anything, to the extent that he believes he doesn't have to do any schoolwork whatsoever, and tells his teachers that someone will just give him a job when the time comes. He's a fifth grader with no actual credit for the grades he's already gone through. He's been dropped by three therapists, because his mother makes it impossible for any therapist to get anything done with him, because he obviously has mental health issues. His mom routinely lies about the reasons the kid isn't in school, but doesn't let the kid in on the lies, so he inadvertently exposes his mother on a liar on a weekly basis. The kid is almost 11 and has very few of the skills that a kid his age should have. The school system has essentially given up on this family.
Samantha Lomb 3 years ago
My guess is the kid almost died a couple of times and this is the reaction. I went to school with a boy whose younger sister had leukemia and this is what her parents did. She recovered from the disease but was never a really functional person and he was forced to give up things to her all the time
El muerto 3 years ago
if it was health related, it wouldn't use lies to keep the kid at home. she would use the health problems as a shield...this more about neurotic parents that hope to keep the kid from the dangers of the world. even at the cost of causing him mental health problems
Load More Replies... deanna woods 3 years ago
When I was eleven, I was washing my own clothes and doing the dishes a few nights a week.
Rissie 3 years ago
My 11 year old puts his dishes in the dishwasher each night, poor kid is being exploited.
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#31
I read a thing on Facebook on one of those community groups. Mom was extremely angry because "some guy" was taking photos of children at the mall, as they went to see Santa and played near by. He "was definitely taking photos" of her children, and he must be a pervert. Again, photos of children playing at the mall - not naked running around a beach, etc.
Said Mom "went ballistic" and confronted him, causing a scene and threatening to violently assault him. Pervert photo guy ran away from Mom, who was very proud of herself.
Pervert photo guy found the thread, and commented that he was taking photos of Santa and all the kid for his daughter, who was in the hospital with leukemia. Mom doubles down and claims he's a lying pervert and he's been "reported to mall security and the FBI." Pervert photo guy then posts a video of himself, in a hospital with leukemia daughter, showing her the video and photos.
Mom is subsequently hella shamed, doxxed, and deletes her FB account.
Samantha Lomb 3 years ago
It's sad that people assume men who take an interest in kids, are out with kids, volunteer with kids, teach kids are pervy, but women are almost never suspect and there are plenty of female child abusers
Ethan Lang 3 years ago
True and very sad, I feel for all the single dads (and single parents in general but dads especially).
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NsG 3 years ago
Did he have the permission of the parents of the children he was taking photos of? If so, that mother is overreacting on behalf of other people and should butt out. If not, I'm on her side - I don't want you taking photos of my kids without my permission, simple as that. I wouldn't got as far as violent assault, but the authorities (mall security) would definitely have been called. And his reasoning doesn't prove a thing - people have sick kids, or volunteer at hospitals or charities all as a cover for their own nefarious acts.
Marco Hub-Dub 3 years ago
I get this and I agree, but there is no right to privacy in public. However, we need better laws about inappropriate behavior.
Load More Replies... Marco Hub-Dub 3 years ago
Let’s not forget one basic rule: public is not private. Nearly every jurisdiction, at least in the United States, specifically allows for the use of photography or video in public places without the consent of anybody in public. I unless the place is private in the sense that it is assumed you could be disrobed, a person with a camera or video camera has the right to take pictures all they want. I don’t agree that it’s a good law or a perfect lol, but nothing is gained from attacking somebody taking pictures in a public place.
Zoe Vokes 3 years ago
Reminds me of that incident 8 years ago when a lady publicly accused a man of being a pervert for taking photos of her kids in a shopping centre. She took photos of him, shared them on the internet, lots of people saw it. In truth he was just taking a selfie of himself to send his kids and she basically ruined his life. It really upset him and his family. Everybody they knew saw it. Think the story went global.
#32
I work at an admissions front counter for a university so I get helicopter parents all the time over the phone, but I had a mom that had me laughing over the phone because of how ridiculous she was. Let's call her Susan for reference.
At first, she was normal asking about general admissions processes and what are the requirements. However, where she messed up was when she admitted she did the application for him because "he is a boy and you know how boys can be so I just did it for him." Then she started to fly off the walls. She asked if the campus was open because she wanted to visit her son EVERY SINGLE DAY since they live 15 minutes away from the main campus. Susan tried making herself not sound bat s**t crazy by sliding in her bringing him baked goods and home cooked meals, but I know she just wants to pester her child. There was another talk about how she wanted to get access to his student account to see his grades. I told her that she was not going to be allowed to get that access because her child will be considered an adult and the student has to give HER permission by saying a FERPA form. She wanted to know how and where to get those documents ASAP.
As far as social life, Susan asked if there were parties on campus. It's a college, of course there are going to be parties. The worst part is that she asked if they are supervised....by PARENTS!!!! This is where I couldn't help but laugh because why did she think that this was a high school setting. Susan then followed up with "Well how will I know where he is going or if he gets in trouble?" and I said, very casually, "Ma'am if your student decides to do something illegal (smoke weed/drink underaged) and gets caught by campus police and gets arrested, you'll be getting that phone call."
And she had nothing else to say. :)
Samantha Lomb 3 years ago
Wanna bet if the kid filled out applications himself it was for universities as far away as humanly possible?
#33
My mother thinks I should bring her with me whenever I'm meeting with the bank, lawyer, landlord, etc. - any serious grownup business - because she thinks they'll take advantage of my youth and innocence to cheat me, but they'd never dare do that if there's an adult with me. I'm a white-collar professional and have been living on my own in a major city for nearly 20 years. My mother is a retirement-aged suburban housewife. She's perfectly competent in her own right, but I seriously doubt bringing her with me would add to my credibility.
that weird weeb 3 years ago
I would understand this if you were just starting out and learning how business works, but a white-collar job and living on your own for 20 years? Insane.
#34
An acquaintance of mine getting yelled at by her parents when she decided to get an apartment for herself. She was 30 at the time.
#35
I knew a kid way back in the day where-in his parents overly supervised everything he did. Wanted to "play outside", well it has to be in the little "park" that's 50' from their front door. Dad would just be staring out the windows. Any bad language? That's a paddlin'. Sarcasm? You better believe that's a paddlin' I remember one time someone had bought some Swedish Fish and was sharing them with everyone. The mom comes flying out and says "You can only have ONE fish....." and then watched him eat a single fish and make sure he wouldn't eat any other. Now the kid is so deep in the closet he's wrapping Christmas Presents and so stressed he could turn coal into diamonds RIP My Inbox
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
Upvote for the Jasper Beardsley reference! You better believe that's a-musin'
Nadja Lambacher 3 years ago
It is a Simpson's reference. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKiLfH3DVGc
Load More Replies... #36
I've worked IT at a few universities. My favorite call was a mom calling and b**ching about not being able to see her 26 year old graduate students grades... I was a non-traditional, older student when I went to college. 24 in freshman year, not super old, but old enough. I wanted to do the whole thing. I got stuck in a dorm, forced into a triple. Okay, I'm trying out college, I'll move to an apartment the following year. Nope, a mom of one of the other students called the admissions office to complain, saying that I'd buy her kid beer (I didn't drink, at the time). I ended up getting to move out into an on campus apartment, because of her. The best part was, I was going to work when they were moving in and she was all proud of the fact that she had me thrown out of the dorm, the kid was embarrassed. I was like "oh, thanks, I'm sorry but I have to go to work." She looked a little sheepish at that point.
#37
I got a haircut a couple years ago (so I was maybe 23 at the time.) It was summer so school was out. I was second in line as a kid was already waiting. So the two of us are quietly reading magazines. A boy about the same age as the first boy and his mother come in. The mother asks the first boy how old he is. He says 10. The mother asks where his parents are. He says they're at work. She then yells at him, telling him that it is illegal for children under 13 to be in public alone. The boy says that he lives nearby and his parents let him walk to the hair salon, grocery store, park, and other places that are within a block of each other. She is furious. She explains that her son is 12 and that even when he turns 13 next year, she may not let him out in public alone. I'm so thankful my friends and I were allowed to play outside alone from at least age 8.
that weird weeb 3 years ago
Jesus Christ this woman is crazy. I hope her son doesn't get locked in the basement when he tries to move out of the house.
Marco Hub-Dub 3 years ago
It’s illegal for children under13 to be in public alone? Gonna need a legal definition of “alone” because that boy definitely was not alone. There were at least three other people in the room
Kobus Loots 3 years ago
My parents didn't let me go out alone until I was 14, but I live in South Africa and if I had gone out alone I probably wouldn't be here now.
#38
My girlfriend's mother... My girlfriend is 22 in a few month.
She keeps track of my gf's bank account and credit card purchases.
She also keeps track of my gf's cell phone call logs and asks her why she's having long phone calls with this phone number, which is obviously mine.
I guess it doesn't help that my girlfriend and I have been secretly dating for about a year and a half.
L. Murphy 3 years ago
Sorry, but these posts about kids over 18 who let their parents invade their lives need to grow a set. I worked at a college and parents have no legal right to your records unless you sign a form that let's them view your records.
Rissie 3 years ago
Remember they were brought up with that, they need outsiders telling them that it's not ok and that any nagging feelings about it are warranted.
Load More Replies... ZAPanda 3 years ago
if the money is not in fact the mom's . if it is the mom's , then the mom has oversight rights
Load More Replies... Samantha Lomb 3 years ago
Well if they are joint accounts and cards it makes sense and if she pays the bill she will get a phone log. Sounds like the girlfriend needs to grow up, get her own bank account and credit card and phone plan and be honest with her mom like an adult instead of sneaking around being dishonest while using mom financially.
Lady B 3 years ago
I disagree. My son is on my family plan and I have NEVER looked at his call log. Not my business. I sponsored his bank account with a military bank and have his log in info. Never looked, not my money. I also have never snooped through his room or computer. He will do what he will do. I can only hope that some of what I’ve tried to teach him acts as an angel on his shoulder
Load More Replies... Marco Hub-Dub 3 years ago
Loaning or giving someone money doesn’t come with the quid pro quo of controlling it. That’s a narcissistic LOVE BOMB. So, once the money is in the GFs name, joint account or not, it’s absolutely no kudus business how she spends it. It’s the other holders job to dissolve the joint account if they don’t like how the money flows out, but not their job to use this as an excuse to spy and control. And given the other narcissist control parents she maintains of HER ( ownership) daughter, I doubt the account is mommy’s money.
Uber Mensch 3 years ago
Burner phone. Prepaid online bank/debit card. This young woman really NEEDS to start getting ready to live her own life.
#39
I went to a toddler pool that was zero entry and 1.5 feet at the deepest. This mom came in with her boy who was probably about 3, and got in the pool with him. He was wearing a wetsuit, goggles, a life vest AND floaties. The poor kid could barely even splash around enough to have any fun.
MiriPanda 3 years ago
Ok, little kids can drown in a literal puddle of water, but this of course is overkill...
Susan Trevaskis-Owen 3 years ago
I wonder if she makes him wear all that in the bathtub...
Load More Replies... #40
Worked with a woman whose 4-year old LOVED airplanes. There was a big air show coming to the area, and I asked her if she was taking her son to the air show, as he would probably love it. She said she was worried they were too dangerous, and a plane could crash into the crowd. So they didn't go. Great parenting. Rob your child of an incredible experience because you have an irrational fear.
that weird weeb 3 years ago
I do agree with MiriPanda, but seriously? Take your kid to see the plane show. The pilots know what they're doing.
MiriPanda 3 years ago (edited)
Well, there have been a couple of air show disasters, so that fear is not totally irrational...
Seanette Blaylock 3 years ago
Odds are still heavily in favor of "no one gets hurt, kid has great time", though.
Load More Replies... Rissie 3 years ago
Well, I don't agree here. Not even the danger as much as the noise would be my issue with it. Also, shows like that aren't necessarily the planes the kid is into. It's comparing trucks with race cars. This is a matter of what mom feels is appropriate for her four year old, she knows her kid best. Maybe she just went with that excuse (because it seems imaginable, unlike saying your kid doesn't enjoy crowds or whatever). So no, nothing to do with all these other examples imho.
Karen Lyon 3 years ago (edited)
@Rissie: Oh, please. He's four. He's into any kind of airplanes, it's not like he categorizes them. I've been to airshow, it's amazing. They're big, they go fast, they do cool tricks. Right up that kid's alley. Period. As for the noise: get headphones. I have friends who did that all the time when they took their son to music fests.
Load More Replies... Karen Lyon 3 years ago (edited)
Yep. I had a parent, when I taught 2nd grade, I think, who didn't allow her son to go on a field trip to the local butterfly sanctuary, when the monarchs were migrating.....because "something might happen" during our bus ride. (It doesn't seem to resonate with these people that there is zero history of anything happening. Whole fleets of buses have made this trip without incident, but whatever.) He missed out and a beautiful, fun day.
Nicki 3 years ago (edited)
My husband used to run the press tent for a military air show and my son also LOVED airplanes too (4 y/o at the time). He was sitting on the hubs shoulders, he was mesmerized and someone shot a pic of them! Wake up the next morning to see the hubs and my son on the front page of the main newspaper in San Diego! This could have been them! https://www.sandiegouniontribune.com/sdut-1n4xolcpyblk235021-2009oct04-htmlstory.html
Karen Lyon 3 years ago
@Dorothy Parker: I started as a preschool teacher 34 years ago. My grade level now is Transitional Kindergarten, which in California means they don't turn five until after the school year starts. I've been doing that for six years now, and I can tell you categorically, NO THEY DO NOT. They need the chance to see and explore things, and start to figure out who they are. AT the age of 2, they should start to establish some independence; at the ages of 4- 7, they should learn to be LESS dependent on adults, not continue to be treated as infants.
Load More Replies... Dorothy Parker 3 years ago
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_air_show_accidents_and_incidents_in_the_21st_century
#41
I work in a college. We get helicopter parents constantly. I think my favorite example was a mother who called everyday, telling us how to do our jobs, and listing off rolodexes of complaints for things, including how we don't treat the students like adults and coddle them. In the same breath she was asking me to divulge information regarding her sons health care and information with the college, and refused to let him speak to me himself because he was only a kid and she would handle it. Hmmmm
Tom 3 years ago
I worked as an office assistant at the University I went to and we'd constantly get parents calling asking what grade their kid had gotten. Legally we weren't allowed to share that info, which would of course upset the parents. Most of the time we just had to hang up on the parents because they would just yell and threaten us.
#42
I went camping, and had no service. I came back to my apartment with 4 police cars around my house all searching for me. She filed a missing persons report because I didn't text her for a whole day.
#43
A guy at my high school last year wrote some college application essays, and after his parents read them they kicked him out of his own account, changed the password, and rewrote them entirely.
#44
I am in private elementary education, so this question is right up my alley. I had a student one year who was the middle child of three and the mother was the textbook definition of a helicopter. But it was more than that; she also had a bad case of "wanting to be your 10 year old's best friend instead of their parent". Here is a short list of things she did: She would come attend school events (like plays, etc), and try to sit next to her child on the floor ("criss cross apple sauce" and all) She would deliver her child lunch every single day. Not send in a packed lunch, mind you. She would deliver something. Like fast food, especially Chik-fila. And she always had enough for herself as well, so she basically tried to come eat lunch with her daughter every day. One day I confronted the student about this and made up a bogus rule that her mom had to bring me lunch, as well, and sure enough the next day I got a sub from Subway She would let the girl stay home for any and all reasons. The girl was literally absent 25 days the year before I had her (although I tried my best to crush that bad habit and got her down to 14 days absent when I had her). Some of the notes / doctors excuses the mom sent in were really ridiculous When she was at the school for her younger child (for example: when she came by for kindergarten parties or whatever), she would sneak out and walk the halls and peak through the classroom windows of her other two kids to "check on them". I would joke with our principal that this woman might secretly be an employee of our security company trying to find flaws in our security procedures. We had to come up with all sorts of new rules and procedures for all the parents to follow just to stop this one woman. The girl was not a very good student, and I am pretty sure more than half of the homework handed in to me was completed by the mother My final interaction with her was when I invited her and her husband in for a conference because I gave the girl a 0 for missing an assignment with an unexcused absence and I basically forced the mother to admit that she took the girl shopping that day instead of bringing her to school. The dad was completely unaware this was happening and went off on her. It didn't solve the problem permanently (as she continued to helicopter the following year before leaving the school), but it toned it down while I had her at least. The sad thing is you encounter parents like this all the time. They don't realize the long-term harm they are causing their children or the bad habits they are helping them to develop.
Qibli of the SandWings 3 years ago (edited)
Put yourself in these kids’ shoes. They are having fun, ALONE. They can do work and do homework THEMSELVES. Also, I’ll address the part of you thinking it’s okay for a mother to peek at her son in school. First off, that implies the mother stays AT SCHOOL to literally spy on her child. Do you see how messed up that is? Second, this is not effective at all. If you see your child doing something you dislike, what are you gonna do? Bang at the window demanding that your son is monitored? Sorry for going off, Laura, but I extremely oppose this.
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#45
I went to boarding school for high school, and when I was a senior there was a freshman whose mother would drive three hours every weekend to be with her. on said weekends her mother wouldn't take her out -- she would hang out with her friends with her, to the point where I think the mother thought she was friends with her daughter's friends. field trips? she would go. band tours? she would make sure she was at every place they performed. the mother would try and assign extra homework for her to do on top of her school work, which went on until a dean found out and yelled at the mom. I went to alumni this year (bff on the alumni board; not just a loser) and I stayed at an old staff member's house, and that happened to be where the class that graduated that year was having a gathering. lo and behold, the girl was there, and so was her mother.
that weird weeb 3 years ago
It's one thing to want to go and see your daughter, to want to see her play in her band, but field trips? forcing extra homework? No. Just no.
Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago (edited)
I was gonna say I have traveled and been to every single one of my daughter's performances and wouldn't ever not be there. She actually got mad at me when she thought I didn't go to one of her shows. I showed her the recording I had on my phone as proof and she calmed down. I'd never try to hang out with her and her friends, though or make her do extra homework, that's just plain weird. I love my kiddos but I'm too old for that 🤣
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#46
I drive a schoolbus. At one stop, last week, one of the kids was late but I could see him, exiting his house some 200 meters away. His mom carefully closing his coat, fastening his backpack then his slow saunter to the bus across the playground. I was holding up traffic so I released the stop signal, closed the door and crept forward 3 car lengths, to resume the flow of traffic. Then I opened my door and told him to hurry. By the time I completed my stops, some 12 minutes later, I parked at the school where I saw his mom waiting. The temperature that morning was 23 below zero Celcius. Mom's ski coat was wide open. Just a low cut T shirt with more cleavage than coverage showing. Pupils dilated like she had perhaps stopped at the ophthalmologists' on the way. She was cursing, screaming, and slamming the side of my bus. How dare I rush her son, and threaten to drive off. I wrote up an incident report. The school, my manager and my Union Steward sided with the mom. I asked them to add 3 minutes to that stop on my route sheet. So far they have not. But helicopter Hilda gets her way now.
that weird weeb 3 years ago
Same "let me speak to your manager" style. The Steward sided with the mom because he likely didn't want to deal with her anymore. You could ask one of your kids if they have camera footage of Mommy beating the side of the bus, as everyone has a phone nowadays. Take that to the Steward under "Verbal assault and threatening". He'll take your side.
Tom 3 years ago
He won't ever take the driver's side because there's no upside to doing it. Karen can go the school board, create picket lines with fellow Karen moms, etc. She can be a nightmare if she wishes. Schools don't care about bus drivers compared to the amount they care about parents.
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ButterflyMcQueen 3 years ago (edited)
I'm lucky, our company does not tolerate this. Parents are advised in writing to have their students ready 10 minutes before the bus arrives, and at the stop on time. We wait no more than 1 extra minute and then leave. Any threats or abuse from the parent is met with a door in the face, and 3 incident reports has the student removed from the bus route. That being said, I'm also lucky to have really nice parents of special needs students and I really love my job ❤
Leodavinci 3 years ago
Just have a friend follow you in their car, have them video it, and have them call about being held up in traffic because of what you have to do for the mom. Have them threaten to turn the video over to local news and report the situation to the authorities.
#47
I was at college orientation and a girl's mother came up to my friend and said, "See that girl? That's my daughter. Go up to her and introduce yourself and be nice to her!"
#48
My mom sets up fake Facebook accounts with other peoples' names (like her financial advisor) in order to see if she can view my FB page. I'm 38. When I was married (age 31-ish) she would reprimand me if I went places (grocery store, dinner with MY friends) without my husband. My mom is VERY independent. This is a family rumor that she denies. She somehow got through on the phone to my college's president and told him "My daughter was a good Christian girl until she went to YOUR school." I went to a Christian college. And I have no doubt that this "rumor" actually happened. She's definitely the type. When I was in high school (age 16-ish) I was allowed to walk 4-6 blocks to school. No one was ever allowed to use the telephone in the school office except in an emergency. Except me. Everyone in town knows my mom AND her reputation, and they bow to her whims because they pick their battles. So I was required to call my mom every morning when I arrived at school--I had special permission to use the phone. One morning I forgot, she called the principal, who called over the intercom in my classroom, whether I was in class, because my mom was on the phone wondering if I had made it the 6 blocks to school. Throughout my 18 years living with my parents, I spent ONE night alone at home. I was never allowed to be alone. Even as a teenager, in the rare occasion that both parents were not home overnight, I had to have a babysitter. My mom's former best friend who made me sleep on her neighbor's pool deck and then took photos of me in the morning as I woke up, bleary-eyed in my sleeping bag. And she had an exaggerated love of clowns.
Dave 3 years ago
I was a youth guide back in the day and we had groups of kids we took to the summer camp by the seaside. I had a mother who was constantly pestering her daughter of 10 years. Every night, she peed her bed. I figured out what was going on and I made sure, the mother could not reach the child. Back in the day, mobile phones were not an option and the landline, was used for emergencies and when she called, whoever picked up, I told them to say, the kid is safe but not reachable. No more peeing in bed. When we returned, the mother went apeshit on me, since I was responsible for the group her daughter was in. Mind you, I was fresh from the army, served 7 months and on leave, before I started my selection for a newly formed unit, which was being trained for special missions and I really could not give a single f**k about her rant. I told her everything that was coming to her and I thought her head would explode. I was receiving for years cards from that girl and other kids too.
#49
I was going to move into a dorm with a friend, but her mother contacted administration and insisted that she live in the same residence as the dorm minder to make sure she was doing her homework and staying away from alcohol. We were twenty -- the legal drinking age here is eighteen. Her mother would also show up after seminars to walk her home (ten minutes away), and would contact professors to negotiate extensions and protest bad grades. I found out afterwards that she had a pretty serious history of mental illness, so there were legitimate reasons to be concerned for her safety. Still, I couldn't help but think a lot of her problems resulted from being told over and over again that she couldn't be trusted to stand on her own two feet.
#50
This kid I went to school with, his mother was a teacher there and she taught his class every single year until 8th grade. Like changed her grade level every year so that she could teach her own kid, that’s beyond f***ed right there.
Kira Leseman 3 years ago
I was in elementary school with a kid who’s mom was our home room teacher. She made him call her mommy. If he said mom or anything not mommy she would pretend to not hear him til he called her mommy. 5th grade. He didn’t have any friends and always ate his lunch with his mommy at her desk. His first name was also a masculine version of her first name.
Lady Lava 3 years ago (edited)
My father was a teacher too and I was in his class for one year. Fortunately, he was a very popular teacher at that school. But I still found it awkward sometimes. If I were a teacher, I would let my daughter attend another school, and not the one I would be working.
Leodavinci 3 years ago
Because schools don't do that when you reach grade 9 and have separate teachers and classes for each subject. Wonder what the mom did when that happened?
#51
My fiance is 22 years old and his mom calls him AT LEAST 5 times a day... She doesn't need anything in particular, I think she is just making sure he's still breathing....
Seanette Blaylock 3 years ago
Yeah, I wouldn't marry a guy who hadn't cut the umbilical yet.
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#52
I was a trustee for my college fraternity. The final week of pledging has the recruits live in the fraternity house. We have them turn over their phones for the week. On day 2 of the week, campus police come knocking on the door looking for one of the recruits. Turns out that his mother would call him every morning to wake him for class, then call again in the evening to discuss his homework schedule for the night. When she couldn't get a hold of him, she started calling local PD, then campus safety, and even the dean of students. I also have a friend that works as a recruiter for a big consulting firm. She specializes in hiring interns and co-ops. She has so many stories, including parents calling ahead of the interview to give a list of topics that make their child uncomfortable, calling after an interview for a debrief, showing up to the interview with their child, and calling mid-internship to get a status update.
Samantha Lomb 3 years ago
Honestly taking someone's phone for a week is wierd. So many school updates now go through email or text alert.
#53
My ex boyfriend's mother was so controlling of her own son that she eventually wanted to control ME - she told me to quit my part time job because I am "a woman and it's dangerous out there", stop pursuing music and go to graduate school with her son. During dinner she sat me down and told me to choose between work or family and waited for my answer. I was 23, he was 25, dated for 7 months.
#54
My mother came to an interview I was doing I was the person conducting the interview
#55
Dude graduated from boot camp with me and we are both assigned to the same duty location in different commands. This guy's parents made him call them everyday and talk for hours, then one day he falls alseep early after a hard day. So they call his command and demand to know where there son is. The command promptly tells them to get lost as they can't and won't provide that information. So a few weeks go by, and his command during a barracks inspection realizes that he hasn't had a haircut or gotten new razors or some such. Turns out that his parents and come halfway around the country to take his bank card as punishment for forgetting to call them.
Zoe Vokes 3 years ago
Why couldn’t he contact the bank, get them to block his old card and send him a new card? And ask a friend to buy him razors and pay for a hair cut (until he pays them back). He definitely needs to tell his parents that he can’t talk for more than five minutes a day.
Qibli of the SandWings 3 years ago
It’s not the MANS’ fault. The parents are overprotective. He could belong in the military because he has a special skill it is good at obeying orders. Just because the parents are arseholes does not mean he is unqualified and a baby.
Load More Replies... #56
When I was 15 the parents of a kid in my school year drove 7 hours to save their pride and joy from watching Casino Royale on the coach's on-board DVD player driving back from a school trip. The best part about it is that he must have asked our teacher what the film was in advance and then told his mum.
Leodavinci 3 years ago
Which version of Casino Royale? The Daniel Craig version... or the 1967 original with David Niven, Peter Sellers, and Woody Allen all playing 007.
#57
My aunt went to my cousins first WEEK of university classes.
ZAPanda 3 years ago
some universities have open campuses and don't do roll call on the class when everyone sits... some classes are like 300 kids... so, not always obvious if someone is there that shouldn't be there. I could regularly attend friends' lectures in e.g. socio, because the class was huge, but in english lit I was noticed immediately and evicted, because the class was like 10 people.
Load More Replies... #58
I used to be friends with a girl whose dad refused to let her wear shorts to swim team that weren't knee-length. Even though...she was on the swim team. And wearing a Speedo one-piece during all the events. In the summer.
#59
A woman in my church was the mother of a college freshman music major. He applied for the university's piano program, but didn't get accepted by the specific teacher his mother wanted him to learn from. She went in person to the university, walked right in to the teacher's office (who happened to also be the dean of the entire music department) to pressure him to change his mind. He said no. She proceeded to withdraw her son from all university classes and activities.
Qibli of the SandWings 3 years ago
My eyes can’t bear this anymore. I don’t want to read this anymore, but I have to look.
#60
Back when I taught a freshman course during graduate school, I had a parent email me on behalf of her daughter. The young woman had missed half of the class, failed two major assignments, and had her mommy emailing me trying to allow her to pass. When I told her about FERPA, she tried to get me in trouble with the department chair.
Samantha Lomb 3 years ago
I'm sure the chair just had a good laugh. We all know it's illegal to give out college student grade info to anyone but the student and this sort of behavior was usually good for a wine bar laugh
#61
My parents, especially my mom. I was back home for winter break from uni during sophomore year and hanging out at my friend's house, who lived one or two streets away. At 10 PM, my parents called and asked me to come home. Ok, fine, I didn't have a curfew, so I guess I'll go, even if I wanted to hang with my friends longer because I knew my parents wouldn't let me go out the rest of the break. Also, they refused to sleep until I came home, and I wanted them to rest for their own health. But then they freaked out because it was apparently too dark and unsafe outside, and I could not be trusted to walk the few feet to my car and drive the one minute home (note that my friend and I both live in relatively wealthier, safer neighborhoods, and the streets were well lit). My parents called my friends' parents and asked them to FOLLOW me the 1 minute it took me to drive home. I had a damn parade on a 1 minute drive, and I had to inconvenience everybody in the process. Thankfully I'm attending uni in a different state and can just ignore them, but going home always sucks. If the price of living wasn't so high, my parents would have definitely moved to that state.
#62
My mom has to know what I'm doing and where I'm going to be and what time things are happening everytime I go out with friends. I'm 25
#63
Kid came to swim team tryouts. Was having a melt down and refused to get in the water. Mom got in the pool FULLY CLOTHED to try and coax kid into the pool.
#64
The kid is about 9 years old - so like 3rd grade, I've known him since before he started school. His mom is an acquaintance of mine and the kid himself has had classes with one of my kids who is the same age. She has forced herself in to every activity and classroom that he's ever been in. She starts off volunteering in the classroom normally - most teachers ask for a few hours one or two days a week of help in our school - but little by little she shows up more often whether the teacher asked her to or not. Some teachers have told her to stop, but others just let it happen. She basically spends every day all day with him - never gives him any space. She hovers over everything he does and if it's not perfect she "fixes" it. Pretty sure she's done his homework herself several times. Sometimes the teachers will send home an art project as homework, like a pumpkin to decorate in the fall or whatever, and his always looks like an adult did it alone. She never lets him face any uncomfortable situations or adversity. She got actually mad when one day she said to the 1st grade teacher " woke up in a sad mood today." and the teacher answered "I'll keep an eye on him, but I think he'll be okay.". This was infuriating to her to the point where she vented to me about it. I had to ask her "but was he okay though?"... yeah. He was. What was she expecting you ask? She wanted the teacher to make a big fuss over him and give him special attention. She felt that the teacher didn't care because she didn't fall all over herself to coddle him.
Queserasera423 3 years ago
A lot of things my kids do are hilariously bad, but they are so proud of themselves when they show me their projects. I can't imagine "fixing" the stuff that they worked hard on. It would crush them!
#65
I had a 16 year-old coworker whose mother sat in on the interview and tried to answer all the questions for him. He quit a couple of months later, or should I say, his mother called the store to quit for him.
#66
I have a friend whose parents makes them drive an hour back to their house from her University 4 times a week to “keep an eye on her”. But the worst part is, she’s also working 3 jobs, the president a club, and is taking the hardest class of her major this quarter.
#67
Back in the 90s this popular girl in grade 5 or so would get dropped of by her mom to school and picked up that's normal. But several times a week her mom would drive by really slow at recess and park on a gravel road about 200m away from the playground and just sit there and watch. I'm guessing her mom didn't have a job or something it was super creepy. This girl would also get constant phone calls from her mom at the office because this was before cell phones several times a week I have no clue what her deal is.
#68
On more than one occasion I've told Mom's sorry to be sexist, but it's never been Dad's in my experience that they're going to need to wait in the lobby while I interview their child for the job. If your kid is 18 they're legally an adult and therefore you have no right what-so-ever to be present in that interview. 30% of Moms would try to intimidate me as if I were their child or husband, but would back down when they saw I didn't care. 60% threw temper tantrums that cost their child the job. 10% tried to have me fired.
Frannie Kaplan 3 years ago
Because mothers are always jn the domestic sphere when men rarely pull their weight. Helicopter parents thrive because it's a 2 man game, they just have different roles.
#69
There was a girl whose mom would not allow her to attend social events without the mom for fear of the child encountering a bad influence. I remember she was invited to a sleepover and the mom, at the last second 9like literally at the front door of the house the sleepover was at), said she couldn't go because the parents of the other child had not been impressed when informed that it was mandatory that they accommodate a grown ass woman as well as a group of 8 year olds when no such provision had been discussed beforehand when RSVP'ing.
#70
My college professor told us this story. So her class is huge! Probably around 200 students. So as an attempt to learn some of their names she offers extra credit to students who bring and wear Burger King crowns to class with their names written on them. So completely optional for students. Anyways, one of her students moms called her to complain about how embarrassed her son felt for wearing a Burger King crown to school.
#71
Had a guy in a summer computer science class that had his father attend the class with him the entire semester. He'd constantly poke him to pay more attention. I could tell the kid was mortified. I felt awful for him.
#72
I was at the dollar store the other day and some over protective hardcore PTA type mom was shopping with her son. The mom switches ailes and the son (7 or 8 at least) stayed in the toy aisle. She wasn't more than 10 feet from the kid and she looks down, sees he's gone and yells at the top of her lungs, "James! James!" Like he fell overboard a carnival cruise ship or something. It's the dollar store, there are only like 10 aisles lady. Chill.
#73
I work in admissions at a major university in a major, pretty show-bizzy city. Have totally lost count of the number of times a parent has come up to me, the kid standing ten feet away mute as a scarecrow, and asked about theater opportunities for their actor/performer child. If your kid can't get over his/her shyness to speak up to a stranger, GOOD LUCK IN SHOW BUSINESS. Doing all their talking for them just enables kid's being a passive dips**t.
UpupaEpops 3 years ago
Cut the kids some slack. They might not even want to be there. -Sincerely, a former show horse pushed by a mother who has failed her acting career.
Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago
Hollywood/ entertainment biz helicopter parents are the worst!! *Most* of the time the kids don't want to be there and it's the parents that want the kid to make it big. Sorry you went through that!! 💖
Load More Replies... #74
I teach high school and occasionally college. [In] one teacher-parent meeting for a high school student, the mother mentioned her other kid was enrolled at a local university, and that she (the mother) was also enrolling in the same classes to ensure her daughter did her work.
#75
The kids next door are not allowed to play outside unsupervised by an adult. We live in a quiet neighborhood and they are aged 10 and 8.
Anna Simpson 3 years ago (edited)
The reminds me of an episode of supernanny where a mum NEVER let her 3 and 4 yr olds play outside in their massive and cool backyard because it would be "too hard" to keep them safe. The yard was fully fenced and completely kid friendly. When supernanny took the kids outside, they literally just stood there not knowing what to do...the children didnt know HOW to play. Very sad and odd situation
#76
One time in High School Band we were supposed to travel up north to play in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Naturally, we were going to stay a few nights in a hotel, with four people per room; my mom had the bright idea to come with me and STAY in the same room with me and two other 16-17 year-old boys. Thankfully my dad talked her out of it but she still insisted that I text her every day of the trip.
#77
Ex's mother freaked out and left increasingly tearful messages on the answerphone every few minutes for over two hours because he wasn't at home to take her weekly Sunday call and therefore Something Must Be Wrong. He was 36 at the time. (If he had always been in for that call I'd have given her a little bit of leeway on the freaking out, but he was not always at home at that time, and had never promised that he would be.)
#78
A friend I had growing up wasn't allowed to cross the street by himself until he was in his teens.
#79
I work at a college, and had a student worker whose mother called me out of the blue to rant about a bad day her daughter had had, and wanted reassurance I was going to do my best to make sure her daughter felt appreciated at her job because "her father was too hard on her" and "she suffers from low self esteem." I'm pretty sure this student was a junior at the time, so at least 19-20 years old.
#80
I was at the playground with my 2yo son last spring. It was a beautiful April afternoon; 63 degrees, winds east at 5 knots, visibility 6 miles, clouds broken at 2000 feet with overcast layer at 11,000 feet. Suddenly, this mom swoops in with her Bell 206 and transitions to a hover at just 50 AGL. No overflight of the LZ, she came in like she was taking fire from VC's and was Cowgirling her evac mission. Before I could react, a line unravels from the back door and two little s**ts fast rope onto the jungle gym (no helmets!). Just like that, she ramped the turbine, pulled the collective and whizzed out of there like she was late for her 3 o'clock cocktail. I checked later, the lady didn't even file her flight plan properly. By far, the worst case of helicopter parenting I've ever seen.
#81
I work at at a higher education academic institution and let me tell you, I've seen some sh*t.... What stands out for me is that we regularly (3-5 times a year) have Parents who want to: (a) attend sit in the back of a class in which their adult child attends oxymoron? ; (b) want full access to their adult child's academic records, homework, schoolwork, teacher contact info, etc; (c) want all school correspondence and communication of their adult children to be routed through them. All of this is generally covered by FERPA or in the case of (a) board policy.
#82
The worst I've seen in my line of work (nurse practitioner in primary care) are people in their late 20s and 30s who bring their parents to appointments and/or have them call my office on their behalf. These are typically male patients, but not always, with their mothers calling for them.
Tiffanie Sewell 3 years ago
My younger brother is 26 and can not do a thing for himself. My mom makes all his appointments and goes with him.
Brenda 3 years ago
I go with my daughter (21) because she has "white coat syndrome ". I don't answer for her or anything, just there for moral support. Her anxiety goes through the roof with Dr's (probably because I was so sick when she was younger). Actually had to sedate her for an MRI cause I couldn't be with her. Sometimes there are reasons
#83
My best friend's mother and father moved to the town where his college is located his freshman year.
#84
There's a kid in my son's former Boy Scout troop who has NEVER been on a camping trip alone. He was elected to the OA two years ago, but didn't go through induction until his ASM father was also inducted. How this kid will function in college, I'll never know.
#85
College student, ~20 years old. Had trouble login into his IT account to register for courses and stuff. He came with his mother, or to be precise, his mother came with him to the helpdesk to solve the problem. My coworker tried his hardest to talk to the son, but every time the mother would answer while the son only sometimes nodded. She also had the most annoying and belittling voice I have ever heard on a non-acting human. She mainly spoke about her son in the third person as if he wasn't present, only sometimes acknowledging his presence when seeking some "fake" confirmation at the end of a sentence: "Yes, we tried this already. Right, Richard?" After about 5 minutes of this scene going on I couldn't take it any longer and went down the hall into the server room to laugh my a** off.
#86
If I dont call my father every sunday he will call me. If I dont answer he will text. Regardless if I reply back or not he will send another text asking a question from my childhood (where did we used to go fishing, elementary school I went to. ect.). He does that just incase in his words "Someone kills you and text with your phone".
Leodavinci 3 years ago
Heaven forbid someone would use her phone to text him after they killed her.
MaggieWest 3 years ago
I do this with my mother if I haven't heard from her in a few days. You never know...
#87
My son (14) plays club soccer (travel 4-5 times a season -2 seasons a year, train 3-4 Days, sometimes 5 a week ) plays with a kid whose dad carries his bag to and from practice. That wouldn’t be too bad, but he also ties his kids shoes. And like many of the other comments -they only cheer for their kid. I make it a practice to cheer for the other kids and tell mine in private what he did right. Very odd.
#88
A coworker of mine had a daughter at a prestigious New England prep school on a full athletic scholarship. So, as a result, this middle-class mom was rubbing elbows with the ultra rich parents from around the world, but there was one couple that stood out. These parents would fly their daughter to down to Florida to see her horse every weekend. They also hired movers to bring a suitcase and a lamp to the girl's dorm room.
What do you think ?
Ariom Dahl 3 years ago
These are very sad. So many of the parents are robbing their children of self confidence and the ability to grow as people, and are replacing their potential with fear. (And yes, as NsG points out, entitlement.)
Freya the Wanderer 3 years ago
Helicopter parenting is creating a generation of insecure, co-dependent, chicken-hearted, marshmallow-livered Milquetoasts who soil their pants upon seeing their own shadows. Children need their independence. They need to experience failure and disappointment, to make mistakes so they can learn from them. I was fortunate to be a "free-range" child. My father gave me greater freedom as I matured and demonstrated self-control and responsibility.
Load More Replies...
Walking On Sunshine 3 years ago
Once I worked with this client, the client was a small child. It was a guardian ad litem case in which the court appoints a guardian lawyer for a minor child. I had a list of questions to ask the child and the mother would absolutely not leave me alone. She wanted to sit in, she wanted to answer and finally I went and got the attorney who immediately removed her from the room. By the way, this was a Munchhausen by proxy case.
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
I stopped. Too many fall under "abuse", and, yes, it's abuse if the parent fosters unhealthy codependency, controls a child to that extent, etc., b/c it's not parenting ------ it's hostage-taking.
Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
None of this can be described using the term "parenting." Your job as a parent is to teach your children to handle life as an adult without you, not to be there every second to do things for them.
Trish Smith 3 years ago
For sure, Nikki. You hit the nail square on the head! None of these abuses fall under any type of "parenting". Straight up, horrific abuses on a deep, psychological level! They should burn in hell for the damage they are inflicting upon these innocent children!!
Load More Replies...
Ivana 3 years ago
My boss had a 13 year old son that was not allowed to take the school bus because it was too dangerous. He was grounded for 3 months for reading Harry Potter. He is not allowed to stay home if they go to the store, he must go everywhere with them. He was also not allowed to go to other people houses without parental supervision even if his friends had an older sibling around to watch. Issue came up that their one baby sitter went to college and all the available, local babysitters were all around his age and they couldn't find a babysitter that was over 16, which the mother wouldn't let her son be with a girl alone that was near his age. My boss would also spend hours and hours calling in favors and begging people to hire his wife, and this was on a 6 month cycle because every job she ever had was terrible and she couldn't continue to work there. In the mean time he is burning bridges with every department. They both had PhDs. It was insane.
King Kashue 3 years ago
Hard reality these parents (at least the ones that don't rise to outright abuse - which is several) need to understand: Being controlling and snooping and not giving your kids any privacy or autonomy doesn't make them safer or less likely to be in trouble or better prepared for life - it just forces them to be better at hiding s**t from your overbearing intrusions (and makes it more likely in their adulthood, you'll only see them at the holidays and otherwise be cut off entirely).
UpupaEpops 3 years ago
There's a disproportionate amount of women (mothers) on this list... And I can name 5 women in my life who have tried everything they could to destroy my life. Funny thing, it's never the men that have had a problem with me. I wonder if the fact that I'm also a woman might have anything to do with it? Are men this crazy when dealing with other men?
K Witmer 3 years ago
The men(dads)are usually violent ones They're the ones that disproportionately physically hurt the kids, sexually assault them and kill them.
Load More Replies... Frannie Kaplan 3 years ago
Helicopter parenting is not competent parenting nor is it "just out of love." They often deprive their kids of experiences they had themselves and deprive them of opportunities the kid's peers are having. It is done semi deliberately to keep the kid dependent and attached and to deprive them of life skills and wave the "look what I've done for you" for the rest of your life. When the parents work had and have good money they will tell you you had nothing to complain about because you wanted for nothing. They think they're such good parents because they never gave a curfew. If you blow up the phone ever 30 minutes, and never let kids go out, there's no need for a curfew is there? My parents would send my sister to an event to pull me out, say they were flying over if I didn't text back at midnight if I went to sleep, gave me money for savings so I'd be able to get my drivers license but the day I got it they forbade me from driving the car so I would never truly learn and be Mobile
Frannie Kaplan 3 years ago
My mother called me a wh*re and treated dme that way and every other name in the same semantic field when I was a virgin for years, she went to q University appointment with her other daughter, she enrolled as a mature student at the same university I went to, the Prof was rude to them because of it but now I see his point. when we lived jn the country side there was a bus that took you to thr city and when I wanted to walk to the bus she would say "I'll take you" and deliberately miss the bus and just wash over my complaints "I'll take you to the next one!!! I'll just drive you to the city!" And the list goes on and on and on. When you finally start making your own money you realise you don't have to live under some one else's twisted logic no matter how much they harass you, they try and tell you you've become a princess just because you're working. These parents never nrver have good relationships with their adult children. It's usually never good or bad but just stony silence.
Load More Replies... Ariom Dahl 3 years ago
These are very sad. So many of the parents are robbing their children of self confidence and the ability to grow as people, and are replacing their potential with fear. (And yes, as NsG points out, entitlement.)
Freya the Wanderer 3 years ago
Helicopter parenting is creating a generation of insecure, co-dependent, chicken-hearted, marshmallow-livered Milquetoasts who soil their pants upon seeing their own shadows. Children need their independence. They need to experience failure and disappointment, to make mistakes so they can learn from them. I was fortunate to be a "free-range" child. My father gave me greater freedom as I matured and demonstrated self-control and responsibility.
Load More Replies... Walking On Sunshine 3 years ago
Once I worked with this client, the client was a small child. It was a guardian ad litem case in which the court appoints a guardian lawyer for a minor child. I had a list of questions to ask the child and the mother would absolutely not leave me alone. She wanted to sit in, she wanted to answer and finally I went and got the attorney who immediately removed her from the room. By the way, this was a Munchhausen by proxy case.
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
I stopped. Too many fall under "abuse", and, yes, it's abuse if the parent fosters unhealthy codependency, controls a child to that extent, etc., b/c it's not parenting ------ it's hostage-taking.
Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
None of this can be described using the term "parenting." Your job as a parent is to teach your children to handle life as an adult without you, not to be there every second to do things for them.
Trish Smith 3 years ago
For sure, Nikki. You hit the nail square on the head! None of these abuses fall under any type of "parenting". Straight up, horrific abuses on a deep, psychological level! They should burn in hell for the damage they are inflicting upon these innocent children!!
Load More Replies... Ivana 3 years ago
My boss had a 13 year old son that was not allowed to take the school bus because it was too dangerous. He was grounded for 3 months for reading Harry Potter. He is not allowed to stay home if they go to the store, he must go everywhere with them. He was also not allowed to go to other people houses without parental supervision even if his friends had an older sibling around to watch. Issue came up that their one baby sitter went to college and all the available, local babysitters were all around his age and they couldn't find a babysitter that was over 16, which the mother wouldn't let her son be with a girl alone that was near his age. My boss would also spend hours and hours calling in favors and begging people to hire his wife, and this was on a 6 month cycle because every job she ever had was terrible and she couldn't continue to work there. In the mean time he is burning bridges with every department. They both had PhDs. It was insane.
King Kashue 3 years ago
Hard reality these parents (at least the ones that don't rise to outright abuse - which is several) need to understand: Being controlling and snooping and not giving your kids any privacy or autonomy doesn't make them safer or less likely to be in trouble or better prepared for life - it just forces them to be better at hiding s**t from your overbearing intrusions (and makes it more likely in their adulthood, you'll only see them at the holidays and otherwise be cut off entirely).
UpupaEpops 3 years ago
There's a disproportionate amount of women (mothers) on this list... And I can name 5 women in my life who have tried everything they could to destroy my life. Funny thing, it's never the men that have had a problem with me. I wonder if the fact that I'm also a woman might have anything to do with it? Are men this crazy when dealing with other men?
K Witmer 3 years ago
The men(dads)are usually violent ones They're the ones that disproportionately physically hurt the kids, sexually assault them and kill them.
Load More Replies... Frannie Kaplan 3 years ago
Helicopter parenting is not competent parenting nor is it "just out of love." They often deprive their kids of experiences they had themselves and deprive them of opportunities the kid's peers are having. It is done semi deliberately to keep the kid dependent and attached and to deprive them of life skills and wave the "look what I've done for you" for the rest of your life. When the parents work had and have good money they will tell you you had nothing to complain about because you wanted for nothing. They think they're such good parents because they never gave a curfew. If you blow up the phone ever 30 minutes, and never let kids go out, there's no need for a curfew is there? My parents would send my sister to an event to pull me out, say they were flying over if I didn't text back at midnight if I went to sleep, gave me money for savings so I'd be able to get my drivers license but the day I got it they forbade me from driving the car so I would never truly learn and be Mobile
Frannie Kaplan 3 years ago
My mother called me a wh*re and treated dme that way and every other name in the same semantic field when I was a virgin for years, she went to q University appointment with her other daughter, she enrolled as a mature student at the same university I went to, the Prof was rude to them because of it but now I see his point. when we lived jn the country side there was a bus that took you to thr city and when I wanted to walk to the bus she would say "I'll take you" and deliberately miss the bus and just wash over my complaints "I'll take you to the next one!!! I'll just drive you to the city!" And the list goes on and on and on. When you finally start making your own money you realise you don't have to live under some one else's twisted logic no matter how much they harass you, they try and tell you you've become a princess just because you're working. These parents never nrver have good relationships with their adult children. It's usually never good or bad but just stony silence.
Load More Replies...
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