Once Burned, Twice Wise: 30 Women Over 30 Share Their Hardest Life Lessons

Yes! Think of the person and how they treat you and ask yourself "If we weren't related is this someone I'd choose to have around me?".

The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. The saying is misused now. The blood refers to non familial bonds. Friends. The water refers to family ties as it's from the womb. It means friends over family. Not the other way around.

It's the covenant of family/friendship over the water of the womb.

Once I was able to do this, I was set free. It's not always easy, and sometimes guilt will come up, but stand your ground. Life is too short to be carrying around someone else's baggage.

And it doesn't even have to be outright abuse. If your family just doesn't love you, it can be healthy to get out, too. You wouldn't ( I hope ) not keep a friendship with a friend who doesn't care about you, would you? And to receive no love from the people who normally 'would' love you, or love each other, is painful. There's lots of families for you out there, build your own!

This. Any one who speaks poorly of every ex… there is a common denominator

Or you are autistic and know s**t about narcissist, manipulative behaviors and have no idea you're used until things end.

But a specific ex being a nut job doesn’t mean the guy is a bad apple.

I feel attacked because mine literally are. Why the hell do I keep dating witches and vampires?

Some guys can be very nervous on a first date.

My Mum told me don't date someone because you feel sorry for them because you will end up feeling sorryer for yourself.

Yeah, well, I wouldn’t do that NOW, but I’m 44. Younger Nikole should have been stronger.

I'm going to be that guy and say if a poisonous snake bit you, you could be fine. Venemous however, that's when you need to worry. Remember the rule, if you bite it and you die, it's poisonous, if it bites you and you die, it's venomous.

Depend on people trying to help you with a problem. Develop independence from the person presenting the problem.

Mutual interdependence based on communication and cooperation is the optimal state. I can do some things extremely well; other things not so much. Hopefully we complement each other.

Or maybe everyone else is foorking useless. You should read my book. "Get the fork out the way and let me do it, and 99 other ways to motivate people"

Ha!

"Crush" describes the state your brain is at that moment.

Male or female

For a man or a woman.

Shelley Keenan

Shelley Keenan

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Parent, no matter what age you/they are

I'm assuming that they mean physical violence. No act of physical slap, hit, punch is ever a "joke".

I use "Sorry, no. But thanks so much for the compliment!" I omitted the second sentence when the father of one of my students invited me to a meeting of his religious cult (Opus Dei).

Did precisely this 10 years ago. Soon after, the jerk lost most of his other employees too ;)

The good news is that a s****y boss is likely to get promoted and will go away. The bad news is the people who picked him will pick his replacement.

AMEN

Oh, he has! He just hasn't informed his wife 🙄 Jeez, the popularity of polyamori is a godsend for those mfs

If they're "separated" but still living together for the kids/tax reasons/because of the lease, they're not separated unless you meet her and ask.

After living through my dad wiping out my parents' joint bank accounts and leaving, and my mom being mostly a homemaker - I will never rely on anyone for money. I vowed to always make my own, no one touches it, its always separate, and enough to support me and whoever relies on me (cats). Currently, my mother is married to a wealthy man. She is taken care of, but he uses his money to control her. Money is freedom. As much as I want to respect stay at home moms, I can't help but see the danger in it.

I can't even begin to confirm how accurate this statement truly is.

Appropriate and beneficial self-focus has nothing to do with selfishness. If it does, you're doing it wrong.

To the commenter Isa Wan who doesn't have a 'reply' button: In olden times, a woman would date multiple men until she made her choice. To do otherwise was considered ill-advised.

“Never tell a man your salary, cash on hand and assets.” This goes doubly for women. If your partner doesn’t have enough financial security to not ask about this, run or expect a baby trap.

Goes along with 'Look after your teeth'.... Your older self will thank you for both!

Baz!

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People say that to be self deprecating, or to praise their parter. People often say that humans don't deserve dogs for instance. This very much depends on the context, and way it's said.

Well you might end up with a narcissist, then - they would never say that.

Shelley Keenan

Shelley Keenan

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Had a guy's mom tell me I was too good for her son... left him that day. Miss her tho.

'Don't settle for men who do not treat you well'.

If they have anger issues it will eventually fall on you.

Or 'they've never been physically abusive to me', yet in the same breath will talk about the horrible verbal, psychological, and/or emotional abuse they have been subjected to in its place.

And this is also true for your parents, kids, friends, neighbours. That's why you should never be a fake alibi for a partner/friend/family member who is accused of sexual abuse. Just because someone is an angel towards you, doesn't mean they're not a devil towards someone else.

We might be wise to apply the same statement to ourselves.

Lol, i first read this as 'decanter'. Pour those men from the bottle and let them aerate.