“Why Don’t YOU Handle Them?”: Mom Fails To Control Her Kids, Regrets It When Security Shows Up
Interview With Author
Kids are still getting to know the world, so it’s natural that they’re curious. But when that curiosity turns into borderline vandalism, it might be time for their parents to step in and take control. If the parent fails to do so, it’s not uncommon that fed-up strangers may start doing the disciplining for them.
When something similar happened in this story, the entitled mother reacted less than pleasantly. The OP, a 17-year-old daughter who witnessed this altercation, shared it on the Malicious Compliance subreddit. Where was the compliance? The entitled mom told OP’s mother to handle the kids herself if they’re so bothersome and then pulled a surprised Pikachu face when she complied.
Bored Panda got in touch with the Redditor who posted this story, u/Scared_Fruit8486. She was kind enough to have a short chat with us and give us more context about the altercation. Read our conversation with her below!
Children are naturally curious, so they will try to touch and play with things in public places
Image credits: ebelodedova / envanto (not the actual photo)
But it’s the parent’s job to discipline them when they go overboard, something the mother in this story failed to do, so a stranger had to intervene
Image credits: ClaireLuci / envanto (not the actual photo)
Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages / envanto (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Scared_Fruit8486
The OP told Bored Panda that her mother didn’t usually resort to disciplining others’ kids
Image credits: Gustavo Fring / pexels (not the actual photo)
The OP tells Bored Panda she decided to post her story after reading lots of similar stories on the r/EntitledParents subreddit. “I low-key wished I had an entitled parent moment of my own to share. When this happened, I knew I just had to post it on Reddit,” the OP says.
First, she went to the Entitled Parents subreddit, and the post currently is still there. The upvote count is totally different, though: while the post on r/MaliciousCompliance has over 4.5k upvotes, the one on r/EntitledParents has only a little over 300. So when someone pointed out to the OP that her story also counts as malicious compliance, she decided to post it there as well.
We were curious to know more details about the situation. The OP’s mother did a good job letting the security know the products were being damaged in the store. But some people in the comments were wondering where the store clerk was at the time.
“There was just the lone cashier in the store at the time,” u/Scared_Fruit8486 tells us. “It was a really slow hour for them, I guess. Even the manager wasn’t available then. The cash till was located near the door while the lipstick testers were on the farther side of the store.”
“I do remember the cashier watching the kids messing up the testers, and I guess he didn’t interfere because a) he thinks he isn’t paid enough to handle these things and b) he didn’t want to get yelled at by the Entitled Mother.”
The Redditor says that her mom doesn’t always take it upon herself to discipline someone else’s kids. “I don’t really recall any situations where my mom acted this way with other people’s kids. With her own four children, she’s done this plenty of times.”
“I’m older now, so she’s not that big on these things, but she’ll always let us know when we’re wrong and where we need to be corrected. A true veteran parent!”
You should only correct the behavior of someone else’s child if there’s imminent danger to people or property
Image credits: Monstera Production / pexels (not the actual photo)
The OP’s mom in this story didn’t actually discipline someone else’s kid. She didn’t even interact with the children directly. She simply let the security of the shopping mall know that these kids were making a mess at the beauty store. And the Entitled Mother was the one who told her to take action if she was so bothered.
But is it generally okay to discipline someone else’s child in a public space? Robin McClure writes for VeryWell Family that in the instances where the kid is damaging property, hurting a pet, or putting other children at risk, other adults intervening is understandable.
Many experts agree that the first step should be to talk to the child’s parent. Parenting expert and author Dr. Justin Coulson suggests saying something like the following: “I’m sorry to bother you. It seems that your child is a little upset. He/she has been hurting some of the kids in the playground. I thought I should just come over and let you know.”
Naturally, physical discipline is always out of the question – always remain calm in such situations. If the parent refuses to discipline their child, McClure suggests trying to distract or redirect the kid.
“But, for the most part, it’s best to avoid using disciplinary actions against another person’s child,” McClure concludes. All in all, another parent or person should intervene only where there is danger or something is getting damaged.
For every other situation, it’s the parent’s job to decide how and when to discipline their children. The OP summarized the whole situation quite well herself: “Sure, kids will be kids, but parents better be parents and have basic common sense.”
Commenters shared their stories with unruly kids, and the OP reacted to most of them
Most commenters praised the way OP’s mother handled the situation and congratulated her for having such a cool mom
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And these people are the reason why so many don't tolerate kids in public places anymore. Thanks a lot. I'm not a strict parent, but even my 2 year old behaves herself in restaurants, doctor's offices, shops and the like - without having to let her watch videos all the time (I don't condemn video watching though, if you have an easily bored and temperamental toddler you do what you can).
I think we can all see who the OP's mother was parenting, and it wasn't the kids.
I totally understand a kid having an emotional breakdown in public, or having little emotional control (as developmentally age appropriate) but damaging property is totally unacceptable. I've been reading that a lot of makeup stores like Sephora have been having a major problem with this.
I was with my daughter in a store once when there was a child throwing a tantrum, and the child was old enough to know better. She asked me if she had ever done that. I told her I didn't think so, but if she had I was pretty sure it didn't happen a second time.
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I actually snapped my fingers at a pair of young siblings when I worked in retail. They were "playing" with a freaking cart, pushing it between each other. The sister was older (maybe 7 or 8) and much bigger than her brother who looked about 4 or 5, and I immediately knew that the cart was going to roll on top of the boy or his fingers (they were on the ground pushing it). The snap was an automatic thing (sometimes it's how I get my kids' attention) and I said, "put that back, it's not a toy." Their mom was at the counter with her pile of coupons. She glared at me but didn't say anything.
It's because of parents like this they really should start making people take a test and get a license to have kids so they don't continue reproducing stupid generations
omg, I remember many MANY years ago, my friend group went bowling. a family next to us wasn't watching their toddler, and I saw her sticking her tiny little hands in the ball return. I gently took her by the hand and led her back to her family, and jokingly said "excuse me, is this yours?" and they absolutely flipped, accused me of calling her a THING, an OBJECT, that I basically didn't treat her human. they called over the worker to b***h about me, claimed I was drunk and disruptive (but she knew that we had just arrived and I was still only on my first drink, which she had just served me) and she asked them to leave. she apologized to me but I assured her she wasn't at fault and we all had a blast bowling after they left.
Clearly this lady needs to step up her parenting game, but I find it concerning how many people seen fine with idea of someone hitting the kids. TF is wrong with you people?
Ignore those people claiming they'd hit kids. They're just trolls trying to stir things.
Load More Replies... You discipline your kids because if you don't, someone else will do it and in a way you probably won't like.
Lipstick testers. I thought everyone knew that you're supposed to test the color of the lipstick against your skin tone by applying a small amount onto the back of your hand -- not to actually use it on your lips.
Regardless, germs on hands spread to other hands then very easily to other places
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Perfect response by this wise woman. I do dislike some comments. “Crotch Goblin!” I dislike hateful speech in any case (this woman is such a miserable parent, that normal English should do just fine!) but this especially misses the mark. Children who are not properly being disciplined are being neglected/abused because it will be much harder for them to become healthy human beings. If you want to use a nasty word, find one for the mother.
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em should count herself and her kids damn lucky that all ops mom did was get a few security guards, if she tried that "why dont YOU deal with them" c**p a lot of other people would be like "alright" and then slap the brats
Most people would be afraid to get involved. Bad parents are often bad themselves. I don't want to be shot by some lowlife parent for reprimanding their kid. Call security instead. OP's mom is a star.
We took our two boys to a photography exhibition. One of my favourite photographers. We paid, walked in. Got a whole lot of "ah, children, yuck, stay away" looks. I had said to my kids that we are going to look at this exhibition, explained why and had asked them to ,please be quiet and not run around. Half way around my kids were looking at one print and I asked them why, they said they liked the shadows, and wasthat the moon over the hill. I said yes. We finished going around and were off to look at an interactive set of displays, when one of the angry/anti children people came up and said, 'that if other children were as respectful and interested as mine, she would be happy to wander around exhibitions with them . I took that as a compliment. We were very chuffed that they at, 2 and 5 years of age, could be respectful of a place. I don't understand why it seems so hard for parents to teach their children how to behave in public.
When I was a kid, we were taught by being walloped. HARD. We didn’t behave like THAT again. It only takes one good shot to learn. Then someone decides this is “abuse,” calls the police to rat out people they see hitting their kids, and now no one can teach their kids anymore, and look what we’ve got: greedy, thoughtless, rude, rotten, miserable little monsters who make sure everyone around them suffers, too. Thanks a lot, folks!
I told a kid off in McDs. I hadn't intended to, it just burst out of me. Mum and boy, around 8/9 years old I'd say, were waiting at the counter for their food to be prepared, I was queuing right behind them. Kid starts screaming at mum because she'd bought him a £100+ gift for xmas and he wanted it NOW. (Early December). When she said no, he upped the shouting and started hammering his fists on the plastic money box where people out their loose change for charity. It was full up and I thought any minute now, that is going to smash and go everywhere and, before I even knew I was going to say anything, I said, in a low, stern voice "Don't you dare. That is for children who need that far more than you!" He was so stunned he stopped immediately. I started to be a bit concerned mum would have a go, but she never turned round or said a word. I wonder how long he stayed quiet, lol.
Whenever my mom and I are doing something and see kids acting like demon spawn, she looks at me and says “you did that ONCE” (insert intensely stern look)
THREE reasons to discipline other people's kids. Imminent physical danger to self or others, destruction of property, and interfering with other people's medical devices.
People used to APPRECIATE when someone stepped up with other people's kids. I don't mean letting your kids run wild and expecting others to parent them like this story. But I hear so many stories about people reprimanding other people's kids, and the parents don't thank them. When I was little, any adult could reprimand any kid. That's how it should be.
In fact, you were grateful that someone had caught something you might have missed.
Load More Replies... We seem to have forgotten that it really does take a village to raise a child ... When children 'misbehave' (ie need to learn what is socially accepted in certain places/situations), people who do know, need to tell them (in an acceptable way) and not roll their eyes and post about 'this terrible thing that happened to them' on socials. And the parent has to accept this (hey, thanks for helping out. This is a lesson we need to work on) and even follow through on it ... (Are you upset because this stranger yelled at you to stop touching stuff? I bet that is a terrible feeling. He didn't like you to touch all these things. You damage his stuff that way and that makes him upset. He tried to tell you, but you were too distracted to hear him. Let's try to remember not to touch these things in this location next time, ok?)
I totally disagree! I dislike hateful speech in any case (this woman is such a miserable parent, that normal English should do just fine!) but this especially misses the mark. Children who are not properly being disciplined are being neglected/abused because it will be much harder for them to become healthy human beings. If you want to use a nasty word, find one for the mother.
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When she says "Well you handle it" I'd ask "So do you have a preference? Shoe or belt?" When she asks what you mean "To hit them with obviously!"
HanakenVulpine made a very good point. What if OP's mother DID decide to slap the taste out of those kids' mouths? EM would have liked THAT even less. She needs to teach her kids how to behave; they already know how NOT to behave.
You're 100% wrong. My aunts are in their 60s & from what I've heard they were little buttheads 😅
Load More Replies... And these people are the reason why so many don't tolerate kids in public places anymore. Thanks a lot. I'm not a strict parent, but even my 2 year old behaves herself in restaurants, doctor's offices, shops and the like - without having to let her watch videos all the time (I don't condemn video watching though, if you have an easily bored and temperamental toddler you do what you can).
I think we can all see who the OP's mother was parenting, and it wasn't the kids.
I totally understand a kid having an emotional breakdown in public, or having little emotional control (as developmentally age appropriate) but damaging property is totally unacceptable. I've been reading that a lot of makeup stores like Sephora have been having a major problem with this.
I was with my daughter in a store once when there was a child throwing a tantrum, and the child was old enough to know better. She asked me if she had ever done that. I told her I didn't think so, but if she had I was pretty sure it didn't happen a second time.
Load More Replies... I actually snapped my fingers at a pair of young siblings when I worked in retail. They were "playing" with a freaking cart, pushing it between each other. The sister was older (maybe 7 or 8) and much bigger than her brother who looked about 4 or 5, and I immediately knew that the cart was going to roll on top of the boy or his fingers (they were on the ground pushing it). The snap was an automatic thing (sometimes it's how I get my kids' attention) and I said, "put that back, it's not a toy." Their mom was at the counter with her pile of coupons. She glared at me but didn't say anything.
It's because of parents like this they really should start making people take a test and get a license to have kids so they don't continue reproducing stupid generations
omg, I remember many MANY years ago, my friend group went bowling. a family next to us wasn't watching their toddler, and I saw her sticking her tiny little hands in the ball return. I gently took her by the hand and led her back to her family, and jokingly said "excuse me, is this yours?" and they absolutely flipped, accused me of calling her a THING, an OBJECT, that I basically didn't treat her human. they called over the worker to b***h about me, claimed I was drunk and disruptive (but she knew that we had just arrived and I was still only on my first drink, which she had just served me) and she asked them to leave. she apologized to me but I assured her she wasn't at fault and we all had a blast bowling after they left.
Clearly this lady needs to step up her parenting game, but I find it concerning how many people seen fine with idea of someone hitting the kids. TF is wrong with you people?
Ignore those people claiming they'd hit kids. They're just trolls trying to stir things.
Load More Replies... You discipline your kids because if you don't, someone else will do it and in a way you probably won't like.
Lipstick testers. I thought everyone knew that you're supposed to test the color of the lipstick against your skin tone by applying a small amount onto the back of your hand -- not to actually use it on your lips.
Regardless, germs on hands spread to other hands then very easily to other places
Load More Replies... Perfect response by this wise woman. I do dislike some comments. “Crotch Goblin!” I dislike hateful speech in any case (this woman is such a miserable parent, that normal English should do just fine!) but this especially misses the mark. Children who are not properly being disciplined are being neglected/abused because it will be much harder for them to become healthy human beings. If you want to use a nasty word, find one for the mother.
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em should count herself and her kids damn lucky that all ops mom did was get a few security guards, if she tried that "why dont YOU deal with them" c**p a lot of other people would be like "alright" and then slap the brats
Most people would be afraid to get involved. Bad parents are often bad themselves. I don't want to be shot by some lowlife parent for reprimanding their kid. Call security instead. OP's mom is a star.
We took our two boys to a photography exhibition. One of my favourite photographers. We paid, walked in. Got a whole lot of "ah, children, yuck, stay away" looks. I had said to my kids that we are going to look at this exhibition, explained why and had asked them to ,please be quiet and not run around. Half way around my kids were looking at one print and I asked them why, they said they liked the shadows, and wasthat the moon over the hill. I said yes. We finished going around and were off to look at an interactive set of displays, when one of the angry/anti children people came up and said, 'that if other children were as respectful and interested as mine, she would be happy to wander around exhibitions with them . I took that as a compliment. We were very chuffed that they at, 2 and 5 years of age, could be respectful of a place. I don't understand why it seems so hard for parents to teach their children how to behave in public.
When I was a kid, we were taught by being walloped. HARD. We didn’t behave like THAT again. It only takes one good shot to learn. Then someone decides this is “abuse,” calls the police to rat out people they see hitting their kids, and now no one can teach their kids anymore, and look what we’ve got: greedy, thoughtless, rude, rotten, miserable little monsters who make sure everyone around them suffers, too. Thanks a lot, folks!
I told a kid off in McDs. I hadn't intended to, it just burst out of me. Mum and boy, around 8/9 years old I'd say, were waiting at the counter for their food to be prepared, I was queuing right behind them. Kid starts screaming at mum because she'd bought him a £100+ gift for xmas and he wanted it NOW. (Early December). When she said no, he upped the shouting and started hammering his fists on the plastic money box where people out their loose change for charity. It was full up and I thought any minute now, that is going to smash and go everywhere and, before I even knew I was going to say anything, I said, in a low, stern voice "Don't you dare. That is for children who need that far more than you!" He was so stunned he stopped immediately. I started to be a bit concerned mum would have a go, but she never turned round or said a word. I wonder how long he stayed quiet, lol.
Whenever my mom and I are doing something and see kids acting like demon spawn, she looks at me and says “you did that ONCE” (insert intensely stern look)
THREE reasons to discipline other people's kids. Imminent physical danger to self or others, destruction of property, and interfering with other people's medical devices.
People used to APPRECIATE when someone stepped up with other people's kids. I don't mean letting your kids run wild and expecting others to parent them like this story. But I hear so many stories about people reprimanding other people's kids, and the parents don't thank them. When I was little, any adult could reprimand any kid. That's how it should be.
In fact, you were grateful that someone had caught something you might have missed.
Load More Replies... We seem to have forgotten that it really does take a village to raise a child ... When children 'misbehave' (ie need to learn what is socially accepted in certain places/situations), people who do know, need to tell them (in an acceptable way) and not roll their eyes and post about 'this terrible thing that happened to them' on socials. And the parent has to accept this (hey, thanks for helping out. This is a lesson we need to work on) and even follow through on it ... (Are you upset because this stranger yelled at you to stop touching stuff? I bet that is a terrible feeling. He didn't like you to touch all these things. You damage his stuff that way and that makes him upset. He tried to tell you, but you were too distracted to hear him. Let's try to remember not to touch these things in this location next time, ok?)
I totally disagree! I dislike hateful speech in any case (this woman is such a miserable parent, that normal English should do just fine!) but this especially misses the mark. Children who are not properly being disciplined are being neglected/abused because it will be much harder for them to become healthy human beings. If you want to use a nasty word, find one for the mother.
Load More Replies... When she says "Well you handle it" I'd ask "So do you have a preference? Shoe or belt?" When she asks what you mean "To hit them with obviously!"
HanakenVulpine made a very good point. What if OP's mother DID decide to slap the taste out of those kids' mouths? EM would have liked THAT even less. She needs to teach her kids how to behave; they already know how NOT to behave.
You're 100% wrong. My aunts are in their 60s & from what I've heard they were little buttheads 😅
Load More Replies...
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