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Growing up, we all hear the same pieces of wisdom: “Trust your gut,” “Ignore the bullies,” or “Ask for forgiveness, not permission.” These sayings are meant to help us, but do they always work in real life?
Some Reddit users think these popular tips don’t always deliver as promised. We’ve put together a list of advice that people believe might not be as useful as it seems. Check it out below and let us know if you agree or not!
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#1
When there's a bully, just ignore them. Sorry but most bullies won't stop just cause you ignore them. Sometimes you gotta put them in their place.
nottheactualphoto 1 year ago
My mom told us to "just ignore the bullies." "They're only trying to get a rise out of you." That turned out not to be the case. What they were trying to do was to obtain gratification by beating up smaller kids.
RELATED:
#2
"Stay for the kids/avoid a broken home."
Honey, if your parents loathe eachother, you not only see it, You feel it, You suffer from it, and you probably blame yourself.
Theres like radial emotional and mental abuse and fatigues and everything. On the kid. The person who allegedly not separating is suppose to help.
Stop f*****g yalls kids up and admit you hate eachother. You can be AMAZING coparents and never see eachother face to face.
Two STABLE homes is far happier than one in turmoil.
#3
'If she says NO, pursue her harder.' WORST dating advice
winterwidow87 1 year ago (edited)
I blame romantic movies for this one. The guy who doesn't take no for an answer and starts stalking the girl always ends up with her.
#4
“Forgive and forget” should be “forgive, but don’t forget” because 9/10 times peoples poor behavior is a part of a behavioral pattern. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me for giving you the chance.
#5
Forgiveness is seen as this high achievement of humanity that all should strive for.
No. Sometimes people shouldn’t be forgiven. Some things are unforgivable.
#6
Everything happens for a reason/there's a purpose in everything that happens. Awful advice for any type of situation where someone was a victim.
#7
God gives you what you can handle. No. This is not true. If it were then people wouldn't commit [self-harm]. People's lives and mental health can implode all too easily.
winterwidow87 1 year ago (edited)
If god gives cancer patients and their families (especially pediatric patients) what he thinks they can handle, then god is a dîck who doesn't deserve worshipping.
#8
Find a job you love and you will never work a day in your life. This might work for 1% of people. It makes the rest of us feel like we're doing it wrong.
iseefractals 1 year ago
It doesn't matter how much you start out loving something, work ALWAYS becomes "ugh...work" because it's no longer a choice, it's an obligation, it's not an escape or a means of relaxation...it's a means of survival, and what you love as a teenager or someone in their early 20's....is absolutely not what you're going to love a decade later. A job, is a job, is a job. It facilitates your life, it shouldn't define it.
#9
“Trust your gut.” I have anxiety, my gut is virtually always telling me to panic and never do anything lol.
#10
This may be an unpopular opinion, but 'You can't expect anyone to love you if you don't love yourself first.' I get it, but I think a lot of people say that because they don't want to deal with certain types of people. Listen, not everyone can be filled with self-love. It can take years to learn this. In fact, some people can interpret this as they shouldn't even attempt to find love because they don't love themselves, and I think that is so wrong.
In most people's lives, there are others who love them just as they are. In my opinion, that is proof that you are lovable to others, even if you struggle to love yourself. And sometimes other people's love is what is needed to help you see that you can love yourself too. That's not to say that this advice is purely terrible, but it doesn't work for everyone. Just be smart about it.
Doctor Strange 1 year ago
I always share this when I can. No, you don't have to love yourself first. Many people need to be loved before they can love themselves. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-fitness/201001/you-dont-need-love-yourself-first
#11
"Tough it out"
No. Do not tough it out. Talk about it, take breaks, have a meal and think it over. If you are sick toughing it out won't fix that. If you are depressed, toughing jt out won't fix that. If you are hurt, toughing jt out won't fix that. Take care of yourself and then keep going, or you'll run yourself into the ground.
#12
This was never true, but I heard it everywhere in pop culture. Treat women like c**p. They love it. No, they don't.
#13
“Only date people in your league”. Leagues don’t exist. You never know who a person will be attracted to.
Glen Ellyn 1 year ago (edited)
If you're concerned about "your league," you're a shallow person.
#14
"Ask for forgiveness not permission." So shockingly obvious how this could backfire in any number of personal or professional scenarios.
#15
Give 100 percent in everything. No. Give enough to get it done at a decent level. Extra effort usually doesn't pay off. .
#16
They’re just jealous. 90% of the time they’re not jealous, they just don’t like you.
PeepPeep the duck 1 year ago
We had some adult come to school and did a pep talk about how ‘people only hate because of jealousy’ and I was confused as to what I’d be jealous of hitler and osama bin laden over 😂 (it was 2001)
#17
"Don't be afraid to do what you love, and the money will follow"
This can be true but also could get you in a lot of trouble.
nottheactualphoto 1 year ago
The money *might* follow. Meanwhile, you've turned fun into work.
#18
Happy wife, happy life.
If you hear a married man say that in a serious manner, it's almost 100% that neither he nor his wife are happy.
#19
If you see a snake it’s probably venomous and you should kill it, especially if your kids are around
1. What the f**k? No it’s not and it’s not gonna try to kill you 2. It demonstrates an extremely low understanding of the ecosystem as snakes are a massive part of it 3. Not all snakes are venomous lol.
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 year ago
Never heard this advice, ever. I sincerely hope it's not a common sentiment.
#20
Just be yourself.
The spirit of this, I agree with completely. But so many people think it means to act however they want and there should be no consequences. You still have to modulate your behavior in such a way that it is appropriate in a given social situation. Just be yourself means live in accordance with your own values and pursue your own goals. It does not mean to be a d**k and say everything vile thing that pops into your head and then be indignant when it’s received badly.
Becky Samuel 1 year ago
This is horrible advice to give to someone who is neurodivergent. The social judgement and ostracism is bad enough when I'm trying my absolute hardest to 'pass'. There's a lot of lip service given to acceptance but very few people back that up with actions.
#21
In dating “if it’s not a hell-yes, then it’s a no.”
More realistic is “you don’t need to know if you want to marry them someday, you only need to know if you want to see them again.”.
#22
Be vulnerable at work. Complete horshes**t. Even the best workplaces have vindictive a******s who will take your vulnerability and use it to undermine you.
#23
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
This line (from Eleanor Roosevelt) sucks. Of course people can feel bad about themselves based off of another person's comment without actually being bad!
#24
You have to go to college if you want to get a good job.
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 year ago
Hahahaha. Yeah, no. No you don't. Trade schools seem to be where it's at these days.
#25
Kill them with kindness. Sometimes people are jerks who step way over the line, and I have no problem calling them on it. I’ve dealt with enough bullies in my life to stand up to people who start drama on the regular. I appreciate the same candidness from my friends.
Now that said, I rarely react to insults from people I’m not close with. If they aren’t important to me, I just don’t care what they think of me. The fact that I don’t even bother to respond really sets them off :).
PeepPeep the duck 1 year ago
I love this tactic personally as nothing infuriates at the angry yelling and tantrum throwing people than a huge smile and a nice tone, no matter how hard they try to get the reaction they want from you. It’s fun
#26
Be the bigger person. Sometimes this is good advice but generally it means bowing down to someone who wants to hurt you.
TotallyNOTAFox 1 year ago (edited)
We have the saying "The smart one steps back" - Great, that means the idiots will be in charge and ruin everything
#27
*treat it as if it was your own.* treating it like it's someone else's that means I have to return it in as good condition as I found it, otherwise i'm a huge a*****e. if it's my own, then i don't have to return it at all, i can scratch it up, slop spaghetti on it, use it to wipe my a*s with.
The Phantom Stranger 1 year ago
I think "treat it as if you paid for it" might be a better way of stating this. Studies have shown that children will take much better care of a toy if they had to pay for it with their own money rather than just having it gifted to them. I think the same holds true for adults--we see a lot of stories on BP about entitled people casually destroying things (cars, electronics, whatever) because they've never had to pay for anything and just assume Daddy will buy them a new one. People who have to scrimp and save to purchase those items are going to be much more protective of them.
#28
It gets better. Like no it doesn’t “get better” it takes time and effort to get it “better” it doesn’t on its own.
False hope helps no own because when it doesn’t get better on its own you leave someone it a very vulnerable space.
winterwidow87 1 year ago
It doesn't get better if you don't do something about it. Talk to someone, go to therapy, and then you'll see the improvement. Don't just wait for things to get better on their own, especially regarding mental health.
#29
As of late the whole advice to "spend today because there is no future". people who spout such rhetoric are beyond foolish. not looking forward to having to take care of them later in life because they done f****d up.
Bill Hankel 1 year ago
Totally taken out of context, Jean-Louis: From 1 Corinthians 15:32 ... "If I fought wild beasts in Ephesus as a mere man, what good did that do me? If the dead are not raised, Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die."
#30
Fake it till you make it, uhh no. Faking anything doesn't make anyone feel better.
#31
This advice, that I heard in various forms growing up. Sure, college isn't where everyone meets a lifelong partner and not everyone wants to date in college, but the advice that it's a good idea to *avoid dating* in college is dumb. There's no other time in your life where you'll be surrounded as consistently by other people your age and in your same stage in life. And if you think you're too busy to date in college, *ask yourself when you think you'll be less busy*.
Cyril Sneer 1 year ago
The university/college experience should be treated as half formal education and half social education. Have fun, you're only young once.
#32
The most important thing for your relationship is communication.
No, the most important thing for your relationship is to have two secure, stable, empathetic and self aware people. More communication won’t help your relationship if one of you is a raging narcissist.
Bob Brooce 1 year ago
Good thing that bad communication can't ruin a relationship between two secure, stable, empathetic and self aware people
#33
“You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others.”
B******t. Sometimes you can do both. And sometimes you take care of yourself BY taking care of others.
#34
I have always hated, “You get what you pay for”. Some inexpensive stuff is very good and some expensive stuff is total c**p.
#35
“Follow your Dreams” …. Going straight for them could make you overthrow your own family and financials in process of chasing them.
#36
You’ll find someone when you least expect it.
Marianne 1 year ago
I think the idea is that it's easier to fall in love in an unforced situation (like partying with friends) and not while on a date with a stranger, because it's easier to be yourself when you don't actively try to impress someone. It doesn't mean that you should wait in your home and Mr. Right will just pop up.
#37
"If it's worth doing, it's worth doing well." Many things are worth doing adequately.
#38
All the "advice" (rules) around respect.
"Respect is earned, not given."
"Respect your elders."
"Respect your higher-ups."
Objectively, these are right. But they do not take into account the fact that, guess what, the world is not fair. People love to say "the world isn't fair" and "life isn't fair" to dismiss complaining, but fail to address it when it isn’t an inconvenience to them. Anyway, that being said, the three "advices" (rules) above fail to take into account:
1) person in position of power ≠ authority on any other position
2) experienced person ≠ respectful person
3) inexperienced person ≠ child.
CK 1 year ago
To quote a Tumblr post: "Sometimes people use 'respect' to mean 'treating someone like a person' and sometimes they use 'respect' to mean 'treating someone like an authority' and sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say 'if you won't respect me I won't respect you' and they mean 'if you won't treat me like an authority I won't treat you like a person' and they think they're being fair but they aren't, and it's not okay."
#39
“life is about doing things you don’t want to do”.
Phoenix Burn 1 year ago (edited)
I'm not sure this is advice, but it is pretty much true. I suspect most of us spend most of our time doing things we don't want to do. I don't want to go to work, I don't want to deal with customers, spreadsheets, policies. I don't want to worry about my children and their futures. I don't want to do the chores, cooking, pay my hard earned cash over in taxes. However, these things do lead to the things I want; food, shelter, family, security, education, feeling validated and a worthwhile part of other people's lives. Just work out how much sh1te you are prepared to shovel for those moments of happiness.
#40
You need three meals a day
This advice was predicated on a physical job with a long working day, like working on a farm or in a factory, and all domestic chores were done by hand. Most of us are just too sedentary as adults to require this many calories. Two meals is fine for many of us.
#41
"You can't heal in the same place you were hurt."
Absolute b******t. The fact that you're even thinking about change is healing. Attempting to heal is healing. Is it easier when you have space? Absolutely. But some people don't have ways to get away, and it's so harmful to say they can't heal because of circumstance.
#42
Treat people how you want to be treated.
You'll be taken advantage of. Instead, I treat people the way they treat me.
#43
"Everyone's entitled to their opinion" and "Agree to disagree" (maybe more sayings than advice, but both push people to let real dumb opinions and ideas continue to circulate.).
winterwidow87 1 year ago (edited)
Everyone's entitled to their own opinion, but it doesn't mean dumb/unscientific opinions should have the same weight as others.
#44
Red wine is good for your heart. Smh. The American Heart Association and many other bodies, WHO asks increasingly government medical bodies of different countries all over the world, say that you should drink NO alcohol for heart health.
kansasmagic 1 year ago
No adult needs to rationalize their consumption of alcohol. If you want to drink it, you can do so, no matter if it's heart healthy or not.
#45
Don't be yourself. Be the version of yourself that you want to become.
The Phantom Stranger 1 year ago
It's that old joke: They said "Don't dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want." And now I'm sitting in HR dressed like Wonder Woman...
#46
Expect the unexpected.
#47
"It doesn't hurt to ask."
It can absolutely hurt to ask.
It can be a sign that you have no respect or care for someone's position or situation and that you may thoughtlessly be putting them in a situation where they need to tell you something you should already know.
#48
“Take your time”. The truth is that life is short and opportunities don’t come around easily. It is very bad advice: lean in, get it done, whatever it is. You will waste your life being soft on yourself.
#49
“You can’t always get what you want. But, if you try really hard, you can get what you need”.
#50
Breakfast is good for you.
What do you think ?
Soy 1 year ago
Guess what, any wisdom you put in one sentence isn't gonna be universally true.
Angrykitten 1 year ago
I'm surprised never quit isn't on here. Sometimes it is absolutely the right thing to do.
The Phantom Stranger 1 year ago
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a d*mn fool about it." -Mark Twain
Load More Replies...
The Phantom Stranger 1 year ago
I think most of these are situationally true, but they don't apply in every situation, and they fail to account for the fact that there are bad actors in the world who will take advantage of you given the smallest chance. Advice needs to be tempered with wisdom.
Soy 1 year ago
Guess what, any wisdom you put in one sentence isn't gonna be universally true.
Angrykitten 1 year ago
I'm surprised never quit isn't on here. Sometimes it is absolutely the right thing to do.
The Phantom Stranger 1 year ago
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a d*mn fool about it." -Mark Twain
Load More Replies... The Phantom Stranger 1 year ago
I think most of these are situationally true, but they don't apply in every situation, and they fail to account for the fact that there are bad actors in the world who will take advantage of you given the smallest chance. Advice needs to be tempered with wisdom.
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