30 ‘White Knight’ Behaviors Men Still Do Without Realizing How Toxic They Really Are

Totally gross question to ask. Reminds me of when my uncle was battling terminal cancer. Some dude walks up to me, points to my aunt and says something like, "She's a good woman, as soon as she becomes single, I'm going to swoop in and get her." I don't think he knew I was related, but sir, please stop telling me that you can't wait for my uncle to die so you can schtup my aunt. Go far away.

The odd times I get asked that in a weird way I just look at them like I have no idea what they're talking about. Really, I don't know until moments later. But it shuts them up eventually.

Sorry for your loss. And sorry that... that made me laugh out loud.

Great answer!

I (F) have both men and women do this to me. My boss (F) used to cut me off mid sentence to argue with what she thought I was trying to say.

Or maybe someone is trying to state how what you said came across to them.

I'm a man and also hate this when done to me, by other men and WOMEN, so stop thinking it's just a one way thing.

This is like, so close to active listening. Big difference between "Did you say this?" and "I think she meant this"

I can speak for myself, thank you. If you want to help, tell people to shut up and listen to me.

The worst is when you keep saying no, and then they get offended and some even verbally offensive.

I'm curious. A while back my adult son and I were at one of the big box home improvement stores. When we got to my truck with our purchases there were two young ladies a few spaces down who were obviously struggling with tying their stuff so they wouldn't lose it. We debated offering to help, since they very obviously needed it, but didn't want to offend them, or make them feel threatened or uncomfortable, so we didn't. Should have we have offered? (If they had said "No thank you" we would absolutely have accepted that and gone on about our business.)

GO HUSBAND! That's the way to be right there.

I may be a little bit in love with OPs husband. What a wonderful response.

JFC....it's not about "possession" it's about pointing out the significance of the relationship...ya know, to remind an a*****e that when they're insulting, disrespecting, or threatening someone they love, on the basis that the feel safe and comfortable doing so without fear of meaningful reprisal....that they've misjudged that safety and security. The majority of men aren't angry because they feel they're being disrespected through the women in their life....they're angry because the women in their life are being disrespected. Guess that doesn't really fit the popular narrative though, which is just lovely.

The same with 'my husband', 'my mom', and so on.

👍🏻 Yes!

I've found that the guys who are the loudest about how it's their job to protect women and children are the ones that women and children need protection from.

How is this not higher on the list?!?! Women don't need protection from anything if the society around them weren't so passive towards men who behave like dirtbags.

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Ummm... wouldn't calling out creeps (done it) and stopping guys from pulling creepy stuff (done that too) all count as "protecting women"?

When I was a technician, male co-workers "borrowed" my tool bag (with my name clearly on the outside) full of tools that I bought (also had my name on them). Of course they said I was being a b***h, but I pointed out that they didn't have any tools because they'd lost or broken them.

This is so fracking annoying!

This, almost more than anything else, makes me want to throw hands. I've had both men and women grab a tool of some sort out of my hands at jobs, not necessarily for safety but because they think I'm not doing something correctly or they can do it better. Instant outrage on my part.

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In all fairness, a lot of older men do the same thing to younger men. They act like we are idiots who would be lost without them. I'm like, "Sorry, but google maps gives better directions than your, 'Make a left at the 3rd oak tree that has only light Spanish moss on it...'

Every time. Or they give you the "just step aside little lady, and let the man handle this" and totally screw up what you're working on because they don't bother to understand the goal.

My brother does this, and if I push back I then get "don't talk to me in that tone" (there is no tone) but that in itself will set me off every time. My Mum and I refer to him "monologuing"

Lol, I work with someone who, when people are trying to give information or instructions, waves them away with "I know!" So we stop. Then, almost invariably, it turns out they DON'T know.

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Older men tend to do this to young women especially if they have daughters themselves. They seem to act very fatherly towards young women. Unless they say it in a lascivious way, they're just used to calling young girls sweetheart since I guarantee that's what they call their daughters or granddaughters. Force of habit.

In my country its common but its not said or meant in a creepy way. Other variations are chicken, love and hen. I love it and i hope it doesnt go away because its just a lovely way we communicate.

This is just as common as a male in some parts of the world. I found it especially cringey when older female waiting staff would call me Honey in parts of the US (when I was younger, I mean).

Older men do this shìt and it makes me want to gag every single time. Nasty old men. Women don't want any bit of "sweet" name calling from you guys.