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“Are You Sure You’ve Never Given Birth?”: 66 Times Doctors Confused, Offended And Scared Their Patients
We rely on doctors to provide us with valuable information about our health. The last thing anyone wants is to hear something weird or inappropriate that ruins that trust instantly.
Unfortunately, these people had that experience, which they have shared in a recent Reddit thread. Some statements were laughable enough to brush off, but others were improper for a medical professional to be saying to any patient.
Would you accept any of these comments from your doctor? Do you have similar stories? Share them in the comments below.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I had an appointment with a neurologist for MRI results. He brought the images up on the screen and announced, "COR! You've got a lovely looking brain! Delicious!"
When my dad was being treated for bowel cancer, the consultant told him he had the prostate of a 30 year old. Baffled, my dad replied, "Should I give it back?" I don't know whether it was the stress or what, but I laughed so hard that I cried.
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#2
While trying to prescribe me for some medicine because my potassium was low. I asked, "Can't I just eat more bananas?" He said "Well you'd have to eat two and a half feet of bananas a day."
1. Doable
2. That is not how you measure bananas.
Sara Frazer 1 day ago
As someone who does not enjoy the taste or texture of bananas (so slimy!) it brings me much joy to know that potatoes have far more potassium
#3
I live in Japan. After catching the flu and not eating anything for almost a week, the doctor told me that my cholesterol level was too low, and suggested I eat junk food to get it back up. I told him I was going back to the states in a few weeks, and he gave me a thumbs up and said "great!".
#4
“Are you sure you’ve never given birth?”
Why yes. Very sure. I would remember that.
#5
I was getting an abdominal ultrasound and the technician suddenly got really quiet, leaned closer to the screen, and whispered, 'You have a spectacularly photogenic spleen.'
I didn't even know how to respond. Thank you? Do I put it on my resume?
#6
"Your breasts are the perfect ratio of fat, water and fibre."
Thanks, it's my own recipe.
#7
A surgeon says to me, “Well, I make my living cutting people up, but I’m not recommending that you let me do it to you just so I can pay off my Porsche.”.
#8
I was 13 and having really bad back pain. We went to an ortho and I had a back x-ray. The doctor looked at it and the first thing he said was, “You have the perfect birthing canal”. My mom and I were like 👀
I’m 27 now and have had 3 kids with no issues and the first OB checked me during early pregnancy and said I have the perfect shaped pelvis for a birth so guess he wasn’t wrong. Still very weird.
#9
I had a nurse warn me that now that I'm transitioning, to be prepared for doctors to ignore me more often because statistically women tend to be misdiagnosed and ignored more frequently than men.
Which was weird to hear, and sad to learn.
#10
"your child doesn't have a soul just lock him up." Dr told my mom in the 90s. My brother is on the spectrum.
#11
"You have chlamydia...Oh, you've been married for 8 years and never had symptoms before? Yes, that is unusual."
Doc just sitting there waiting for me to connect the dots.
#12
I had gallstones, but eating made me feel better instead of making me feel sick like it does for most people, so when the ER finally brought in a gastroenterologist to see me she didn't think that was what was wrong with me and started examining me. Then she poked my gallbladder and was like "Wow, it *flinched*!" And yes, I could feel it flinching. And yes, it was every bit as gross as you can imagine.
Then the surgeon got the resident surgeon in, and had her start poking it too, for educational purposes I guess, and the resident started marveling over it too. They were taking turns poking my gallbladder and making it jump around until I was just like "Hey, you're not in medical school anymore and I'm not a cadaver, stop doing that!!"
Gotta wonder how much fun they had catching the d**n thing when they took it out a few hours later . . .
#13
“I shared a picture of your kidney at a conference recently!”
It’s every girl’s dream to have her kidney shared at an endourology conference!
I have a very rare anatomical structure called a calyceal diverticulum, which is a pouch in my kidney that forms kidney stones. The stones can get stuck *twice* and we managed to get a picture of how my first stone got stuck right in the opening of the pouch… because I visited the ER in extreme pain three times.
It was a real money shot, and my endourologist is going to use it to educate students. He definitely wants to help me, but he also can barely contain his glee at my case.
#14
I had a colonoscopy in my mid 60’s. Afterwards the doctor told me I had a “young colon.”
I was so proud.
#15
I was a student’s first ever pap smear and after I was dressed he put his hand on my shoulder, looked me in the eyes, and said “thank you” with more sincerity than I’ve heard from anyone before or since.
Savannah greenleaf 1 day ago
I worked as a nurse and giving baths is a task usually delegated to others, but the first person I ever bathed in a whirlpool tub at work knew she was the first. She was honesty quite comical about how honored she was about it.
#16
I was 26 and went to an annual OB appointment. I asked about having my tubes tied as I didn’t intent to have children. He told me that as one of the “Good” ones (i.e. White), I needed to make sure there were enough of “us” in the world. For reference, this was in central Alabama. I asked him to explain what he meant. He said something to the effect of “You know. . “
I replied, “No, I don’t. What do you mean?”
He er-uhmed his way through the rest of the conversation. When I asked for a referral for the tubal ligation, he said to talk to the nurse and left the room. Never went back. 60 years old, do not have children.
Daisydaisy 1 day ago
Always good to act dumb and ask racists "But what do you mean?" Put them on the spot. Watch them blither
#17
My seven year old was stung on the face right above his lip by a bee. His face swelled up considerably- like Quasimodo. I took him to the urgent care and when the Dr walked in he looked at my son, shuddered and gave out a small involuntarily scream. Then he said “That’s why he’s here, right?”.
Jeremy James 1 day ago
"He twisted his ankle! There's nothing wrong with my son's face! How dare you!"
#18
"Did you Google it?"
Had shoulder surgery that went well, but over a month later, the IV entry on my hand wasn't healing. I responded "No, I was kinda hoping you had some ideas. ".
#19
Sorry for setting you on fire.
I had a skin tag cut off my armpit - but he seemed to forget about pit-hair being flammable.
#20
I was having a couple of moles removed on my back. While laying on my stomach, my Dr asks “do you like to fish”? I told him I do and he told me that I could take the moles home if I wanted because they make excellent bait.
Weird thing to say but, still to this day he was the best dr my husband and I ever had!
#21
My hematologist came into my hospital room at 5 am as I was SLEEPING and started whispering in my ear, “I told you to go to the hospital, remember”. He, in fact, did NOT tell me to go to the hospital - he denied me a CT scan when I had several large pulmonary embolisms and required a week’s hospitalization. I reported him to the hospital, it was a whole thing and I never saw him again.
Nicole Weymann 1 day ago
I'm merely speculating, but I guess the doc meant to distort her memory like you might under hypnosis. I'm not sure if that makes it actually better, but it changes the tone from "W*F! weird and creepy!" to "manipulative".
#22
“I probably shouldn’t be hitting on you”.
No…. No you shouldn’t.
Right after he broke HIPAA too.
#23
Two from the same female gyno:
1. Left the room to get a different clamp and said lightheartedly “one size does not fit all!”
2. When I said I didn’t realize it was a full pap today and wasn’t prepared (I meant mentally lol) she replied “oh no one shaves in the winter!”.
#24
"Why your hair is graying? You're too young."
"Oh, you seem like you lost some weight since the last time I saw you. You're too skinny now"
"Why are you taking antidepressants?"
"I saw you in my dream."
These all came from the same doctor.
Sara Frazer 1 day ago
Uh any one of these statements would be reason enough for me to never see that doctor again (and put in a complaint)
#25
Was at a children's hospital to see a specialist because I have pectus excavatum (my breastbone grows inwards) and I remember the doctor saying that some women like having the condition because it makes their breasts look bigger. I was 12. And I'm pretty sure my dad was right there with me now that I think about it? Lmao.
#26
My optometrist at the time shut the door when he found out I am Jewish and turned off the lights to show me pictures on his computer of Mormon temples and told me that we are kin because Jews and Mormons are the same. He had me in there alone with him for ages. It was so creepy. I never saw him again. He ended up leaving my town shortly after.
#27
Doctor: “Has anyone remarked on your forehead wrinkle?”
Me: “No, it’s -“
Doctor: “That’s a sign.” (proceeds to whip out a protractor)
And that’s how I got provisionally diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos. I’m going back for a follow-up soon.
#28
I suddenly started getting optical migraines, which my doctor apparently had in med school. He said when he would get one, he would grab a plain black coffee and smoke a cigarette. Apparently, caffeine and nicotine do something to blood vessels, IDK. He wasn't a smoker, but he kept a pack in his bag just for that. His (and mine) went away as suddenly as they started. I thought it was funny.
#29
I had a doctor tell me "now I know you're not gonna like this because you're a young woman, but you're gonna have to lose some weight for physical therapy." He said about 15 pounds would be ideal.
I was 5'5" and 115 lbs at the time doing physical therapy for my ankle that I'd broken. The physical therapists were very confused because I was already skinny. I was depressed, struggling to eat enough, and actually a little underweight for my build.
#30
I struggled with weight as a kid, and I went to my yearly checkup which typically happened in the summer (so I wore shorts). My doctor put her hand on my leg and said "you're gonna have to cut down on the cookies if you wanna keep wearing these shorts" lol.
I still think about it to this day.
#31
It wasn't so much the words themselves but what followed after. He was one of my obgyn.
Doc: Are you squeamish?
Me: No. Not at all. Why?
*stabs me with a q-tip in my c-section incision causing trapped fluids to ERUPT LIKE A VOLCANO!*
Yeah... he also told my sister he read a book on c-sections during a layover at the airport right before taking her into surgery. He was a menace. But atleast he was the fun kind. Over the years, he gave me several funny/fond memories.
#32
“It’s not the end of the world,” after telling me I had cancer.
Rali Meyer 1 day ago
it can actually be cured quite well with chemo and radiation. Or, vinegar on your feet...
#33
He's got cute legs, just like his mom. About my baby... he had only ever seen my legs while in stirrups...
#34
"you've put on so much weight since the last time, I was going to ask you to open wide and say 'oink'!".
#35
Not weird, but when Diet Coke started using aspartame (it originally used saccharine for a year or two) I asked my doctor if aspartame was safe in his opinion. He said he did not know, however after another 30 years and we all might find out if we get bladder cancer. 30 years later, I got bladder cancer.
David 20 hours ago
1) Diet Coke always used Aspartame, Tab used Saccharine. For a period in 1983 when there was a Aspartame Shortage Coke used a blend for about 6 months of Saccharine and Aspartame. 2) to drink enough diet coke to cause cancer, the cancer is caused by too much aspartic acid that the body cannot metabolize. 1 large egg has the same amount of Aspartic acid at 34 cans of diet coke. You would need to drink several hundred cans a day, every day, for years, to get cancer from it. Basically you would have died day 1 from renal failure from that volume of liquids. The tests they did in mice, was to inject undiluted aspartame into the mice (adjust for a 180lb human, would be the same as injecting 4.5 gallons of undiluted aspartame into the blood) ever day for months, and the rats got cancer. Basically they used a standard that cannot happen in the real world. We have now over 50 years of data on Aspartame.
#36
I had a psychiatrist tell me I was “cute” when I was angry and that’s why no one takes me seriously.
#37
Had Brain cancer diagnosis last year. Had to get a big hunk of my brain removed to get the tumor. Surgeon said before the surgery “you know a lot of people when this is over get to live a good long life like another 30 years!”
I’m in my early 30s… meaning I get the privilege of maybe making it to 60!
He was actually a great surgeon if not one of the absolute best at what he does, but I don’t think he registered my age compared to his usual shpeal. I find it funny but it was like oh… neat?
RomanceRadish 18 hours ago
I'm sorry to hear this. Hopefully, in the years to come, medical advancements will find a way to extend that timeframe.
#38
Not to me but my mom. Routine eye appointment, I was 10 so she took me with her. While the doctor was doing his exam he said "have you ever thought about losing any weight? Maybe try going on the bike a few times a week to shave off a few." It's not weird that a doctor said it, but it's weird that an EYE doctor chose to point it out.
She cried in the car after the appointment. Horrible experience overall, would not recommend.
Daisydaisy 1 day ago
Do people not realise that ONE comment like this can cascade into misery and disordered eating and a lifetime of shame? Some things should never ever ever be spoken
#39
When I went to renew my birth control pills at the ripe old age of 35, I was promptly told "well you may as well have it all taken out if you're not going to use it". Presumably he meant my womb... (?).
Doug Moyer 22 hours ago (edited)
What?!? My wife was 37 when she had her first kid and 40 when she had the second. (They are both my kids as well, but that's not the point...)
#40
"You got Malaria? Cool! What was it like?"
Context: He had prescribed an anti-malaria pill and I fell into the small percentage of people it does not work for.
Riley Quinn 13 hours ago
Uh, no dude, having malaria is NOT cool. No one in their right mind thinks nausea, vomiting, chills, fever, diarrhea, abdominal pain, and several other nasty symptoms is cool. Did you go to clown college or a medical school? A question more doctors need to hear from their patients.
#41
I was 24 and dealing with a headache that lasted 8 months and 3/4 times per week would turn into a full blown migraine with auras, numbness, loss of speech. You could see and feel veins on the side of my head throbbing 24/7.
My doctor basically treated me like I was over exaggerating, even though I was coming into her office every two weeks crying.
Every two weeks she would just tell me to cut something out of my diet and then come back again. The third or so time I was in her office she said "Stop drinking coffee for two weeks and come back."
I said, "I don't drink coffee."
She replied, "okay, try drinking coffee for two weeks and come back."
My boyfriend at the time had to stop me from swinging on her.
Kristiina Männiste 1 day ago
A bit similar. I have told this but I got diabetes because I stopped eating. The first endocrinologist I consulted confirmed the diagnosis by my GP (TypeII) and told me to stop eating cakes and pies. Mind you cakes and pies are one of the few things I find gross (the texture!) so I never really ate them. Also at this point I sustained myself on a boiled chicken fillet and a bowl of raw spinach per day (head was messed up😅) I managed to squeak out, that I do not eat any of the things he mentioned. That apparently irritated the dr. because he bellowed out that Im not to eat anything tasty until I die and stormed out. I did cry on may way out, but I also wondered if I must really skip the chicken (I actually like it) and take up eating those gross buttercream cakes now.
#42
"If this is an improvement from normal life then you just get used to it" i was bleeding for over 2 years from a failed implanon .
#43
I once had a doctor use body fat calipers on me and tell me i was morbidly obese.
Except I was sitting down (youre supposed to use them standing up), 5'8" and 120lbs, and also only 12 years old.
And i had another doctor who literally told me he thought i had a stroke and made me get an MRI just because i told him i had anxiety and sometimes dissociated.
The neurologist i went to literally looked at his notes and started laughing because it was such a dumb recommendation. .
#44
When I was pregnant I had my first ever yeast infection. My friend brought me to the hospital, because I was complaining about all of the moisture in my panties and she thought my water had broken because I was a very high risk pregnancy.
The doctors got me legs up on the stirrups takes one look at my vajay and goes "EWW!" She then left the room or so I thought and I say to my friend "oh my god did she just say eww? That's so embarrassing" but no the doctor had not left the room she had simply gone behind the curtain and then came back and said "I'm sorry did I say that out loud I have a problem with that and I've been getting in trouble".
#45
It wasn't my doc, but the ER doc. When he finished examining my 15 year old daughter, who asked me to take her to the ER for tummy pains, the doc came into the crowded waiting room and loudly asked me, "sir, you know your daughter is in labor right? That she's going to have a baby, today, right?" Thanks doc, for your sensitivity and tact. Btw, no, I didn't know. I'm a bonehead, I know.
#46
"Why are you crying?"
While explaining that my birth control implant was making me have the worst mood swings I've ever had, I wasn't sleeping, had splitting headaches, and local pain at the insertion site.
RomanceRadish 18 hours ago (edited)
Sometimes crying is a response to frustration and/ or anger from not being heard. Plus of course the mood swings, exhaustion, pain. Regardless: you don't need a "good reason" to cry. You don't have to justify or explain yourself. It may make others uncomfortable, but so be it. If you need to cry, then cry.
#47
"No we don't do physicals despite you not having had a physical since you were a kid."
"No we won't screen you for cancer despite your grandpa having colon cancer. You aren't old enough to worry."
"We have to treat you like a new patient because you haven't had any visits in the last 3 years."
I hate the American medical system. I'm trying to get ahead of my health issues and they keep playing.
#48
I was 16, asking about acne on my back. He asked me how much McDonald’s I’d eaten.
I hadn’t had it since I was like 10, and told him so.
His response was to push my head down, pull my shirt up and over my head, and degrade me for my size and kept saying “I bet you eat lots of McDonald’s, don’t you”
Now I don’t trust doctors. 🙃.
#49
High bone density.
I've always struggled with my weight, mainly due to very bad habits my dad had with me. But I always played sports, I did karate, basketball and volleyball in HS until I messed up my knee. Turns out, I have really dense bones (if I remember correctly, the high end of the test went up to 10 and I tested on 11,5 or so), which explained why I didn't break what I should have broken when I messed up my knee (it did caused cartilage damage which they repaired 15 years later), but it also meant that I couldn't realistically weight what I "should", so the doctor sent me to physical therapy because "you are a truck, trying to run on a fiat 500 engine".
Rali Meyer 1 day ago
yeah right, if your skeleton weighs about 10kg and our "density" is 11.5 vs 10, then your skeleton weighs 1.5 kg more. F*** myth, still prevalent 25 years after google search IS possible
#50
Referring to a large mole on my back (looks just like darker skin, not the kind that is raised): "Wow! I've never seen one that grows hair! Mind if I take a photo? I might be able to get you into a medical textbook!".
#51
Your knees look like they're from two different bodies.
#52
"The only one in the office who hasn't gotten Covid is the receptionist, and she got the vaccine!"
- My Aviation Medical Examiner, a family practitioner who also happens to be MAGA to the core. I couldn't believe it when I heard it, and I've replayed it a hundred times in my head and yep - that's exactly what he said and what he meant.
#53
“You should get a job, or a hobby. You have much too much time to think about yourself.” While poking at the thrush on my tonsil.
Riley Quinn 12 hours ago
Wow! I learn something new everyday. Now, I know that fungal infections are cured with employment or hobbies.
#54
“I’m not sure how to say this to you. We’ve talked about it after every physical for over 4 years. You’re really fat”.
#55
"If you're lucky, you'll pass out from the pain" said after describing the procedure to drain my sinus. I did not pass out.
Riley Quinn 13 hours ago (edited)
I've had a couple of sinus infections, which are extremely unpleasant. Worked with a young man back in the 70s who was in constant pain from sinus infections. According to him, he had to have his sinuses packed with c0c@ine. IDK exactly what he meant, but whatever, it wasn't working.
#57
I had an eye doctor yell at me asking if I thought I knew more than my old eye doctor.
My old eye doctor gave me a prescription for glasses that made my vision blurry and gave me a headache and I refused to wear them..
Riley Quinn 12 hours ago
I had an eye doctor prescribe me glasses for internal damage. I asked if she bothered looking over her colleague's medical report from an earlier exam that had taken hours. I told her eyeglasses aren't going to improve my eyesight bc it's either vitreous detachment, or more possibly retinal detachment due to numerous TBIs (I'm going for more extensive testing with a different doctor). She said the glasses would help, I said she was an idiot, and left.
#58
I had a tshirt that referenced a TV show i really liked, and a new season was premiering that evening. I had it neatly folded on top of the rest of my clothes in the corner of the room because I was in that awful paper smock while my legs were held up in stirrups because I was at the gyno.
As she was digging around in there for her lost car keys or whatever, she commented, "ooh, you must be *really* excited for tonight!" Me, being the quick-witted young lady that I was, responded, "uhhhh . . . ?" because honestly, what???*
And then she gestured toward my shirt and said "I love that show, too.".
Riley Quinn 12 hours ago
Notice I'm staring intently at the ceiling and not following your line of vision, right?
#59
When I got diagnosed with idiopathic hypersomnia, my doctor told me, an adult woman that I was just "a clinically sleepy girl"
Thanks, bro 🙄.
#60
Last week the doctor came in before I went under for my first colonoscopy, and he said “We’ll put you under and I’ll ram it in and you’ll be through in no time,” and I asked, “‘Ram’??”.
#61
A quack I knew thought I was faking illness. Long story short, after some electronic monitoring it was discovered I suffered nocturnal seizures (epileptic attacks in my sleep). I got as many as 90 attacks per hour. Each and every one potentially fatal.
I would love to see the expression on that quack's face if he ever knew the truth.
#62
I'm sitting in my underwear on the examination table, and my doctor is looking me over.
"How long have you had issues with gynecomastia?" asked my doctor.
"Huh?" I said. I'd never heard the word before.
"This!" he says, grabbing me by the moob and jiggling.
"Oh, that. I just thought I was getting fat."
"Well that too.".
WhyamIhere? 15 hours ago (edited)
Gynecomastia = men developing fat on their pectorals (man booobs)
#63
“Do you drink” several times.
It was my first time meeting this doctor and I was confused and uncomfortable she kept asking after I told her no. After rethinking the situation I think she was drunk by her behavior… I never went back.
Riley Quinn 12 hours ago
My doctor asks me every single time I'm in the office. I stare at him bc my medical notes showing I don't drink are right there on the computer screen . "I drink the same amount as the last time you asked me."
#64
"Maybe you're pregnant" said to 17 year old MALE me.
I will say it was all in good fun cause I mentioned I was having weird cravings and some other medical issues.
#65
"I got tired of my golf ball always hitting that branch hanging over the number six fairway so I went out there at night and cut the thing down myself"
True story.
#66
That calorie counting doesn't work to lose weight and to just start eating less. In my mind I thought well..how do you establish a baseline of what you can and cant eat??? I could be eating 10 oreos a day and go "oh yea, if I eat 2 less I'll definitely lose weight!".
Shes also scoffed at my own weight loss and told me it wasnt enough.
What do you think ?
Doug Moyer 22 hours ago
I had an ENT tell me, "You too fat. Come back when lose weight." [sic]. I was having difficulty breathing through my nose. I came back in three months, fifty pounds lighter (really!), and he admitted there was a real issue. I had endoscopic sinus surgery and haven't had an issue since.
Doug Moyer 22 hours ago
I really hope that many of these are from decades ago and that modern medical schools teach a better bedside manner. Especially with children.
MonsterMum 19 hours ago
My childhood doctor repeatedly said 'It's all psychological (recurrent ear infections), here's some antibiotics'. He also said I was constipated before my appendix burst and I got gangrene!
Miracle Max 13 hours ago
On the positive side, my Mother's surgeon recorded her hip replacement and used it in presentations at medical conferences. It was a difficult and complicated procedure and he loved to show it off!
Doug Moyer 22 hours ago
I had an ENT tell me, "You too fat. Come back when lose weight." [sic]. I was having difficulty breathing through my nose. I came back in three months, fifty pounds lighter (really!), and he admitted there was a real issue. I had endoscopic sinus surgery and haven't had an issue since.
Doug Moyer 22 hours ago
I really hope that many of these are from decades ago and that modern medical schools teach a better bedside manner. Especially with children.
MonsterMum 19 hours ago
My childhood doctor repeatedly said 'It's all psychological (recurrent ear infections), here's some antibiotics'. He also said I was constipated before my appendix burst and I got gangrene!
Miracle Max 13 hours ago
On the positive side, my Mother's surgeon recorded her hip replacement and used it in presentations at medical conferences. It was a difficult and complicated procedure and he loved to show it off!
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