x Facebook shareFacebook Pinterest sharePinterest Twitter shareTwitter Funny, JokesJun 17, 2024 31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps Interview With Expert Ivan Ayliffe and Monika Pašukonytė Open list comments 19 Vote arrow up Vote arrow down 58 Open list comments 19 Checkmark Link copied! Share icon Share Checkmark Link copied! Share icon Share Publish Not your original work? Add source ADVERTISEMENT The world of modern dating can be cray-cray. More and more, people are turning to dating apps in the hopes of meeting their perfect match, but this doesn’t come without its pitfalls. With the ever-present hookup culture, unsolicited adult pics, catfishing, and profiles that use photoshopped images or filters, online dating is a potential minefield. One Reddit user recently turned to the community to ask the question, “People who use dating apps, what is the weirdest message you’ve gotten to start a conversation?”, and the results were truly mind blowing. Keep reading for 31 of the strangest messages online daters have sent as an icebreaker.More info: Reddit This post may include affiliate links. #1 Opened our initial conversation on PlentyofFish by asking for my detailed zombie apocalypse survival plan.I fell in love immediately. We've been married for almost 12 years now. anon , cottonbro studio Report Add photo comments POST Fat Harry (Oi / You) Fat Harry (Oi / You) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report They found the only normal person on Puddle of Freaks. A friend of mine met two girls from PoF. The first basically just used him to move house, and the second's opening gambit was "I don't like to be touched". Vote comment up 23 23points Vote comment down reply View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu Modal closeADVERTISEMENT #2 I once got an opening message that said something like “you might not be the prettiest girl on here, but beauty is only a light switch away.” This was over 10 years ago, and I bet that dude is still single. Crystaltornado , Tara Winstead Report Add photo comments POST Lotekguy Lotekguy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report President of his local incel chapter. Vote comment up 58 58points Vote comment down reply View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu #3 My brother sent this girl a message on Hot or Not: "Do you like burittos?"They've been together for 17 years and married for 11 now. Henry__Every , Pixabay Report Add photo comments POST Fat Harry (Oi / You) Fat Harry (Oi / You) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report Hot or Not? Bloody hell, that takes me back. Vote comment up 20 20points Vote comment down reply View more commentsArrow down menu As you can tell from looking at this list, there’s no end to the weirdness when it comes to starting a conversation on dating apps. You’d think that people would want to make the best first impression, but that’s clearly not been the plan when it comes to these truly odd messages.Some are a little insulting, while others are just plain out there. Perhaps the people who sent these messages are trolling, or maybe they truly think kicking a convo off with a strange message will set them apart and make them stand out from the crowd.ADVERTISEMENTStill, if you’re looking to put your best foot forward, it might not be the best idea to come on too strong or too strange, at first. Asking a potential mate what they do for a living, or what their favorite books or shows are, is a good bet. At least you have less of a chance of scaring them away with your opening salvo.That being said, sometimes it can work. One user’s brother used Hot or Not to ask a prospective mate whether or not she liked burritos; the couple has now been together for 17 years and married for 11. That’s a happy ending in anyone’s books. #4 A girl once messaged me with something along the lines of “do you ever see a bunch of cheese and say damn, I want to eat that cheese. And by cheese I mean my p***y”. I couldn’t help myself and replied that I’m lactose intolerant. Teazykatka , Engin Akyurt Report Add photo comments POST Greengrass Greengrass Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report EWWW! Vote comment up 46 46points Vote comment down reply View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu #5 A friend got the message “Wow. Your eyes could start a cult”. pinkynarftroz , Noelle Otto Report Add photo comments POST james stevenson james stevenson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report "That's funny because I actually use them as prisons for demons. Isn't that such a coincidence?" Vote comment up 46 46points Vote comment down reply View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu #6 The weirdest first message I've received was "My hovercraft is full of eels", and I can't imagine what sort of conversation she expects if the person she sends the message to doesn't happen to be a Monty Python fan (we're getting old and rare here). malsomnus , Jeffry Surianto Report Add photo comments POST Lotekguy Lotekguy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report "And now for someone completely different... " Vote comment up 33 33points Vote comment down reply View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu ADVERTISEMENT It is possible that weird can be wonderful. Just consider the ‘Manic Pixie Dream Girl’ trope made popular in more than a few of cinema’s recent years. The term “manic pixie dream girl” (MPDG) was first used by film critic Nathan Rabin in his review of “Elizabethtown” to describe Kirsten Dunst’s character in the movie. Rabin wrote that the MPDG exists “solely in the fevered imaginations of sensitive writer-directors to teach broodingly soulful young men to embrace life and its infinite mysteries and adventures.”In her article for popular Hollywood website, Backstage.com, Crystal Duran says a manic pixie dream girl is the embodiment of a certain male fantasy: a charming woman who “isn’t like other girls” and has no desires of her own. While she may possess personality traits or a backstory that suggest a fully fleshed-out character, the story gives her little to no space to develop, learn, or advance her own interests.Duran goes on to say that this type of character exudes an aura of ethereal, quirky unattainability and that you can find MPDGs everywhere in popular culture, almost always in stories written and/or directed by men. #7 Matched with a woman. Her first message was, “I guess you’ll do.”. Bigt**s38 , Charlotte May Report Add photo comments POST Lotekguy Lotekguy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report That seems promising. How hard was it to rein in your enthusiasm? Vote comment up 37 37points Vote comment down reply View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu #8 “I want my wife to have your eyes.” I don’t think it was meant like that, but my first thought was that the dude wanted to cut out my eyeballs. CurvyCarrots , Noelle Otto Report Add photo comments POST Lotekguy Lotekguy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report Reasonable to worry that the rest of his meaning was "for one of her recipes ". Vote comment up 30 30points Vote comment down reply View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu ADVERTISEMENT ADVERTISEMENT #9 I was the weird one. I’d start off commenting about something in the background of a pic. If I couldn’t think of something funny I’d just say “how do you feel about geese?” Most people have strong opinions. SomeS**ttyBean , Pixabay Report Add photo comments POST Jess Smith Jess Smith Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report My mom got chased by lots of them for bread once as a kid (which someone filmed instead of helping for some reason? Like, in the family?) so I have been raised with a strong hatred of geese. Vote comment up 22 22points Vote comment down reply View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu On social publishing platform, Medium, author PsychoMarcus writes relatable insights on mental wellness, relationships, self-discovery, and personal growth. In his article titled, “Navigating the Competitive World of Online Dating: A Man’s Perspective”, he takes a closer look at the challenges and opportunities that men face when dating online.He says that, while dating in the digital age has made it more accessible and convenient for people to meet potential partners, online dating can be highly competitive and challenging, especially for men. He goes on to say that making a good first impression is essential, but it can be difficult when there are so many other men vying for attention. Not to say it isn’t as challenging for women. More than a few men walking this planet have been known to give online dating a bad name with their inappropriate advances and general bad behavior. #10 "Excuse me good sir, would you kindly like to hook up?"She was clearly wasted. 5 minutes later she unmatches. Apparently she didn't like I wasn't available immediately. This isn't a f*****g Wendy's. FriendsForEternityLH , Andrea Piacquadio Report Add photo comments POST AKA AKA AKA AKA Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report i dont think wendys does that kind of service anyway Vote comment up 48 48points Vote comment down reply View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu ADVERTISEMENT #11 After my girlfriend and I started dating, she showed me her dating profile so I could see how many messages she was getting. About 50-70 per day, most of them were just “hi”. A few were really creepy (“you look like my daughter/student/sister”), but one stood out to us and we laugh about it to this day.“you ever get f****d by a marine baby”No punctuation or question mark, so we asked ourselves “what, like a baby shark? Baby whale?” lol… In the end she had 1500 unread messages when she deactivated her account. Soulfighter56 , adiprayogo liemena Report Add photo comments POST Lotekguy Lotekguy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report Perhaps he left out the comma after marine. Regardless, probably not much of a loss. Vote comment up 26 26points Vote comment down reply View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu #12 I am a sterile man and a woman messaged me first on Tinder with "It's a shame you can't have kids. I mean, what if we fall in love after we f**k and I want to have your babies and I can't? I'm sorry, I don't think this is going to work." After I replied, she ignored it and unmatched a few days later. We were both looking for casual so extra weird. As a bonus, when I moved to a new area, I decided to use Bumble BFF to make friends. I didn't realize that apparently gay dudes use it to low-key try to pick up straight men. The first message I got was a dude asking me if I would fart in his face with my cheeks spread open. I turned it off after. Wishilikedhugs , Pixabay Report Add photo comments POST Dread Pirate Roberts Dread Pirate Roberts Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report I'm sorry, I can't stop laughing at that last part 😂 Vote comment up 34 34points Vote comment down reply View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu ADVERTISEMENT Need advice on picking a pleasing path through the forest of dating apps? In an article for healthcare provider MindBodyGreen, an LLC based in Brooklyn, New York, contributing relationships editor, certified sex educator, and holistic dating coach, Kelly Gonsalves, says that the first key to successful online dating is picking the best dating app or dating site that’s most suited to what you’re looking for, and sticking with it.Bored Panda reached out to Gonsalves to get her opinions on unconventional first lines from the world of dating apps.When we asked her whether she had any advice for online daters who've received strange or odd opening messages, she had this to say, "If someone sends you a quirky opening line, I wouldn't necessarily write them off right away. A lot of people on dating apps are just trying their best to stand out because they know there's so many other options to scroll through."Kelly goes on to say that some people might spring for an eyebrow-raising comment or edgy joke in the hopes that you have a genuine reaction of laughter (or even just "WTF?") that makes you want to respond. Says Gonsalves, "Unless humor isn't your thing, I think it's totally fine to exchange a few messages with such people to see if there's more there beyond the jokes." #13 Whose d**k do I have to suck to suck a d**k around here. Big-Carpenter7921 , Maurício Mascaro Report Add photo comments POST Lotekguy Lotekguy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report Obviously someone to bring home to meet your parents. Vote comment up 30 30points Vote comment down reply View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu #14 As a man, I didn't get any opening messages. Got some doozy responses. One that still haunts me is when I sent this woman a nice opening message, talking about some of the things in her profile we had in common and asking a few open ended questions to start a conversation. Her response was: "With all the hot military guys in town, you need to put your aim lower." Then she blocked me. I thought I already had low self esteem, but it took another hit that day. lol. TypeGreen51 , Rosemary Ketchum Report Add photo comments POST Lotekguy Lotekguy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report Take heart. Her self-esteem might be too high. Vote comment up 59 59points Vote comment down reply View more commentsArrow down menu #15 I was on hinge for a while and saw someone had “can’t text/call/meet on weekends because I’m in jail.” I thought this was a joke. It was not. She was doing time on the weekend for assault. Exobyter , RDNE Stock project Report Add photo comments POST ElfVibratorGlitter ElfVibratorGlitter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report Wait, part time jail? I wasn't aware that was a thing. Vote comment up 24 24points Vote comment down reply View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu #16 Some gay dude offering me a free place to live if I s**t in a box and gave it to him every time I s**t.I was neither gay nor looking for a place to live and I didn't bother to ask what the s**t was for. BasicallyJustAnIdiot , Kim Stiver Report Add photo comments POST Lotekguy Lotekguy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report Best case scenario - compost. Vote comment up 36 36points Vote comment down reply View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu When we asked Kelly why she thinks people come up with odd opening lines to woo a potential partner, she says that, on dating apps, many people feel like they need to do whatever they can to stand out amongst all the hundreds of options and messages people might be sifting through.Kelly says that "If you can make someone laugh, they might actually stop and respond to you even just to send an equally funny response. Then you've got a little banter going, and you can start to have an actual conversation from there." She adds that some people also just enjoy humor and silly banter in general, so it makes sense that they'd use something like that as an opening line. #17 "You want to be my first dark skin ;)?" Some gay dudes really have no shame. Karakara16 , nappy Report Add photo comments POST LizzieBoredom LizzieBoredom Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report "You want to be my first vehicular manslaughter?" Vote comment up 58 58points Vote comment down reply View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu #18 "You're cute , hate dogs though" (I had very my cute dog in a photo). DuffNinja , Helena Lopes Report Add photo comments POST Fat Harry (Oi / You) Fat Harry (Oi / You) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report That's a no from me. Could not live with someone who hated dogs. Dogs are life. Sorry, dogs and cheese are life (gotta be consistent with earlier reply) Vote comment up 43 43points Vote comment down reply View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu #19 I was on Bumble, and got asked my Myers Briggs personality type. When I responded, she unmatched immediately. Gotta respect the hustle. chromane , mikoto.raw Photographer Report Add photo comments POST BMXemplary BMXemplary Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report Pseudoscience angst. Don't worry, there are plenty more adults outside the ward. Vote comment up 35 35points Vote comment down reply View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu #20 "WHY DON'T YOU SKYDIVE INTO THIS P***Y!!!" and then immediately unmatching me when I was like, "Woah now...". Synamyn_Dyxon , Tom Fisk Report Add photo comments POST Fat Harry (Oi / You) Fat Harry (Oi / You) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report How big is it that you can skydive into it? Vote comment up 32 32points Vote comment down reply View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu Bored Panda had one final question for Kelly: What would you suggest as the perfect opening message in the world of online dating?Gonsalves says there's no one single message that's going to work on every single person. "We're all different in terms of what we find interesting and attractive in a potential partner, so my biggest tip is to adapt your message to whoever you're messaging."She says a good go-to approach is to actually read through the person's profile thoroughly and respond to something they wrote, whether that's asking a follow-up question about something to spark conversation or making a joke that jumps off something they mentioned."And remember to have fun with it and show genuine curiosity! We can usually sense when it feels like the other person is just slogging through the process to try to get someone to respond to them, and it's not so cute." added Gonsalves.Have you come across anything weirder than the come-ons in this list? What do you think of strange first approaches on dating apps? Interesting or just icky? Let us know in the comments! #21 Ah man. There were a few."What is your credit score?" (literally their first line after I messaged a greeting)"Do you want children? I want to start having them in the next year." (this is coming from someone in their late twenties)"I like it when people are mean to me. Can you f**k me up?" (that's baggage I can't handle even at the best of times)"CNC?" (translates to "Consentual Non-Consentual"... hard no for me)"You're not my type. But my gay friend thinks you'd be a good 'daddy.' Can I give him your number?" (kinda flattering, I guess?)"My husband died last year and I am looking for someone to be a part of my family." (she had 3 kids, all sub 10 years old)"You're white. I only date black guys." (so why'd you match with me???)The list goes on. Needless to say, I periodically rage-quit dating apps after a month or two of this. Shahfluffers , RUN 4 FFWPU Report Add photo comments POST Apatheist Account2 Apatheist Account2 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report *Consensual Vote comment up 15 15points Vote comment down reply View more commentsArrow down menu #22 ‘Hi there! You look like Anne Frank’ 🙁. Discotraxx1990 , Photo Collection Anne Fra Report Add photo comments POST Jess Smith Jess Smith Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report That's inappropriate on so many levels. Like, she was a *kid* when she died. And, probably more importantly, SHE DIED IN THE HOLOCAUST SERIOUSLY GUYS! Vote comment up 15 15points Vote comment down reply View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu See Also on Bored Panda Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?” Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women #23 My ex got messaged by the Swiss Cheese Pervert on OK Cupid. He started out respectful enough but by the 3rd paragraph was talking about how he likes to [enjoy some alone time] with cheese. She told her friends but no one believed her (she blocked him so the messages disappeared) until he started [being a bit too intimate] with cheese in public, got caught and went viral. negativeyoda , NastyaSensei Report Add photo comments POST Jess Smith Jess Smith Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report Okay, wait, is this talking about a guy fûcking cheese? Including in public? Or am I reading this wrong? Vote comment up 21 21points Vote comment down reply View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu #24 I matched with a guy who taught at my old HS. I was in his homeroom class for 1 year, so we didn't really talk much, but he gave me an entire essay confessing his love to me. He told me how he noticed me but never made the move, and was glad I finally reciprocated. panfriedtomato , Andrea Piacquadio Report Add photo comments POST Bec Bec Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report Yikes! Vote comment up 12 12points Vote comment down reply View more commentsArrow down menu #25 Whenever a girl starts a conversation too [intimately] or wants [intimate pics] right away, I know it's a scam. jordan-lakers9394 , Andrea Piacquadio Report Add photo comments POST Apatheist Account2 Apatheist Account2 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report I'm confused - what needed to be replaced with the first "[intimately]"? Vote comment up 13 13points Vote comment down reply View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu #26 I’ve been in a relationship for five years but I was regularly on Tinder before that.I had my job title and company on my profile, which back then was an administrative/management job for a UK parcel company.Girl messaged me asking if I could track her parcel for her. I didn’t know if she was joking or not but she just kept asking me weird things about parcels and then blocked me. Forever wondered what was the point? Jlaw118 , Artem Podrez Report Add photo comments POST Mike m Mike m Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report Track your package is my new phrase for the naughty. Vote comment up 23 23points Vote comment down reply View more commentsArrow down menu #27 My buddy got a self-esteem slaughterer of a response once. He asked her about the book series she mentioned in her profile. She replied, “Too far. Too fat.” And that was it. Killer. ThingCalledLight , Pixabay Report Add photo comments POST Dread Pirate Roberts Dread Pirate Roberts Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report An answer for her: Too rude. Too mean. Vote comment up 10 10points Vote comment down reply View more commentsArrow down menu #28 In 2016 I once got “Is your name Harambe? Because I want you to drag me around in public”. unib**b_official Report Add photo comments POST Dread Pirate Roberts Dread Pirate Roberts Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report 🤦♀️ really, bruh? Vote comment up 12 12points Vote comment down reply View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu #29 One guy asked me for a pair of dirty panties. One offered to make me dinner at his house and gave me the address.One guy asked me if I would go with him to burning man. A guy asked me how much I made an hour, because he wouldn’t date anyone who made less than 20 an hour. Yet another asked me if I knew what BDSM was, and demanded that I be a submissive. (I am no where near submissive, except with one human being.)I had pretty much given up on online dating for years, now. Di_Terces , Michael Burrows Report Add photo comments POST Dumb teenager Dumb teenager Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report I don't get whats wrong with number 2 and 3, although all I know about burning man is what I learned from 30 seconds of reading wikipedia (kinda sounds similar to the local music festivals) Vote comment up 6 6points Vote comment down reply View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu #30 A woman on her first message, which was literally sent just to moan about how I was "in my 30's and didn't own my house", like I could magically find a solution for that. That was all she messaged for, as far as I can tell.Didn't even bother to reply and tell her that I was renting because I'd given my house to my ex-wife rather than fight over it. ledow , todd kent Report Add photo comments POST Mike F Mike F Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report News flash: she wanted to be the next ex to take a house from the OP. Vote comment up 17 17points Vote comment down reply View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu #31 I had on my “about me” that I was an artist. She flew off the handle that I had a regular job as a sign designer. Called me “fake”. How about “responsible”? Report Add photo comments POST Funhog Funhog Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report Very cool that OP doesn't identify as a job title. Reminds me of an interview with Indigo Girls on a radio station that was taking callers' questions: "At what point do I become a songwriter?" "Do you write songs?" "Yes." "Then you're a songwriter." Vote comment up 7 7points Vote comment down reply View more commentsArrow down menu #32 A girl matched with me and messaged me that “She’s older than me and men’s egos are very fragile”. No idea how she thought that was gonna go..? She was a year older…. fishsix , Becca Tapert Report Add photo comments POST Fat Harry (Oi / You) Fat Harry (Oi / You) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report My partner is almost 20 years older than me... it works for us, doesn't bother me, and none of our friends think it's weird. We're both over 40, by the way. Vote comment up 14 14points Vote comment down reply View more commentsArrow down menu See Also on Bored Panda Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics) “Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way #33 heard one about someone who got asked do you eat p**sy and he responded with no only pork. lol Report Add photo comments POST Doofnuts Doofnuts Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report 'cept, well yeah, maybe. Vote comment up 1 1point Vote comment down reply View more commentsArrow down menu #34 Not me , but on Omegle (an old website were you basically FaceTime strangers) sooooooooo many old men showing their peepee to young girls. Report Add photo comments POST MrsFettesVette MrsFettesVette Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report The strangest thing I ever saw on Omegle (or maybe it was Chatroulette) was someone wearing one of those balloon suits, like Missy Elliott in the 90s, you know, Supa Dupa Fly. Head to toe black inflatable puffy suit, even covering his face and eyes. Then proceeded to just have a totally normal conversation with me where I didn't mention what he was wearing (wanted to see if he brought it up first, never did) Vote comment up 7 7points Vote comment down reply View more commentsArrow down menu #35 An old school friend DM'D me... "I see your surname changed [back]." Report Add photo comments POST Hoi-Polloi Hoi-Polloi Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report Overheard at a funeral: "So, Vivian... I understand you're single again." Vote comment up 7 7points Vote comment down reply #36 This isn’t from a dating app, but one that I found.“Are you Lebron James? Because you are my sunshine” Report Add photo comments POST ITalkToChickens ITalkToChickens Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report This is a memer. This is a fairly well known meme- in a tiny subsection of the internet called gen z brain rot memes. Vote comment up 2 2points Vote comment down reply View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Modal close Add Your Answer! Not your original work? Add source Publish Modal close Modal close Upload from computerUpload Photo Ooops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Upload Upload Edit Image Error occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again. Twitter Render conversation Use html version Generate not embedded version Add watermark Instagram Show Image Only Hide Caption Crop Add watermark Facebook Show Image Only Add watermark Change Source Title Update Add Image What do you think ? Add photo comments POST AKA AKA AKA AKA Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report dang these are weirder than i thought they'd be Vote comment up 14 14points Vote comment down reply Dumb teenager Dumb teenager Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report Humans never fail to exeed expectations, especially when the internets involved Vote comment up 8 8points Vote comment down reply Load More Replies... Samantha Samantha Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report Dumb teenager, Hi. I met two Men recently (whilst out socialising) One was seemingly charming, handsome and good company, he had a much darker side underneath the delightful exterior, and his texts went from being sweet to rather snarky and unpleasant as well as rather demanding. The other was a Security guard in a bar, he chatted me up before I got to the top of the stairs. He told me he liked me straight away, liked my look and my energy etc and we chatted a while, he was super enthusiastic about meeting for a date that weekend, got a couple of texts and then nothing. My point is no matter where you meet people you have to be careful. Vote comment up 0 0points Vote comment down reply BMXemplary BMXemplary Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report Once upon a website: She wrote:- Roses are red, violets are blue; then the poem got abstract and deeply incongruous. So I responded with:- Roses are red, My name is Dan, This is a gun, Get in the van! (Will Ferrell) To which she responded with another roses quip cum poem, albeit non-poetic. So I, in my usual fashion, quickly came up with this little beauty of a Limerick. There is a young man who supposed, Heard all the rhymes written on roses, But the one that she told, Was so fūcking old, Experts say it was written by Moses! Click (send) evaporate. Vote comment up 8 8points Vote comment down reply MrsFettesVette MrsFettesVette Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report And by some miracle I met my husband online. We don't really know quite how it happened, either Vote comment up 6 6points Vote comment down reply Load More Comments POST AKA AKA AKA AKA Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report dang these are weirder than i thought they'd be Vote comment up 14 14points Vote comment down reply Dumb teenager Dumb teenager Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report Humans never fail to exeed expectations, especially when the internets involved Vote comment up 8 8points Vote comment down reply Load More Replies... Samantha Samantha Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report Dumb teenager, Hi. I met two Men recently (whilst out socialising) One was seemingly charming, handsome and good company, he had a much darker side underneath the delightful exterior, and his texts went from being sweet to rather snarky and unpleasant as well as rather demanding. The other was a Security guard in a bar, he chatted me up before I got to the top of the stairs. He told me he liked me straight away, liked my look and my energy etc and we chatted a while, he was super enthusiastic about meeting for a date that weekend, got a couple of texts and then nothing. My point is no matter where you meet people you have to be careful. Vote comment up 0 0points Vote comment down reply BMXemplary BMXemplary Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report Once upon a website: She wrote:- Roses are red, violets are blue; then the poem got abstract and deeply incongruous. So I responded with:- Roses are red, My name is Dan, This is a gun, Get in the van! (Will Ferrell) To which she responded with another roses quip cum poem, albeit non-poetic. So I, in my usual fashion, quickly came up with this little beauty of a Limerick. There is a young man who supposed, Heard all the rhymes written on roses, But the one that she told, Was so fūcking old, Experts say it was written by Moses! Click (send) evaporate. Vote comment up 8 8points Vote comment down reply MrsFettesVette MrsFettesVette Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report And by some miracle I met my husband online. We don't really know quite how it happened, either Vote comment up 6 6points Vote comment down reply Load More Comments Back to Homepage More about Funny Homepage Trending Funny Arrow point to left Homepage Next in Funny Arrow point to right Related on Bored Panda
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