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Humans have already attached a lot of “baggage” to weddings, from the understandable emotional heft, to all kinds of somewhat strange superstitions. But in the 21st century, there are a whole host of other things that might be foreshadowing of something being clearly off.
Someone asked “What are some red flags at a wedding?” and netizens shared their best (and worst) stories. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to add your own thoughts and experiences to the discussion in the comments section below.
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#1
My grandfather (he had 15 kids) used to tell the young people getting married this advise:
He would look at the guy and tell him, "You need to do everything you can to make her the happiest woman on earth, and she, in turn will make you the happiest man."
He said he could tell the ones that wouldn't last because they would interrupt him after the first part.
It's noteworthy to say that my grandfather love my grandmother very much.
brandyy17 10 months ago
wise man. me and my husband both do everything we can to make each other happy and here we r still like cheerful newlyweds lol. its been 5 years and not a single thing has changed. only difference is we live together lol. we r still who we were before we were married. we can already picture ourselves being the crazy old couple who likes to have fun and play jokes on each other. weve both said wed b the coolest grandparents ever lol. we kno who we r and we love it. we r deff a whacky couple but it keeps life fun and we enjoy every second.
Alan Jay Weiner 10 months ago
Some people say that marriage is 50-50. My wife and I disagree; we treat it as 100-100. Celebrating 33 years this year.
TheForrestGreene (he/they/it) 10 months ago
i would interrupt just to say that i would make her the happiest woman in the galaxy
RELATED:
#2
The bride is losing her s**t over every little thing that isn't exactly as she wanted it. Some people are more concerned with the idea of being married than they are about who they're marrying. These are the people that have a "dream wedding" in mind.
Gavin Johnson 10 months ago
Plan your wedding well, get 90% of it the way you want it and no one will notice the 10% that doesn’t quite go to plan, it’s a day about family, friends and a whole heap of love. Make it about bringing people together and it’ll be a great day, make it about some impossible dream wedding and you’ll lose sight of what’s important.
BeesEelsAndPups 10 months ago
This was my ex-wife. She lost her poop about every little thing in the wedding. It was so bad she refused to ever look at the wedding pictures because it just reminded her of everything that "went wrong". Keep in mind, it was a great night, and all of the guests had a fantastic time. Nobody noticed the things which weren't "right" except her.
Michael Largey 10 months ago
Having a dream wedding doesn't mean it's going to be a good dream.
brandyy17 10 months ago
personally i never had a dream wedding in mind cuz i knew the planning takes 2 not just u. all my siblings r 20 or more years older then me so i saw all their planning and weddings. i grew up knowing this. so i never had any thoughts except bridesmaids wear lavender colored dresses and wanted white and a variety of purple flowers. thats it. no venue type, no dress type, no cake type nothing. i got my dream wedding bc me and my husband planned it together. ya we had to replan bc of covid but we found loop holes in the covid rules and still had a 95 guest wedding that was absolutely perfect. no dancing except the traditional ones which was great for us since we hate dancing and i cant anyways cuz of arthritis in my knees. u make ur wedding a dream wedding u dont have a wedding in mind all ur life and plan that. it will never go the way u want if u have that in mind. like im over here saying my 2020 covid time wedding was perfect. says alot doesnt it. a wedding is wat u make it not dream it. if u keep that dream in ur head ya so do get it but most dont cuz they r obsessed with perfection. they need their dream to b reality. if ur only dream is to b married one day ull have the perfect wedding cuz its something u and ur spouse created together
Susan Raskin 9 months ago
these are the people who are morons and totally self-centered. Say "I don't"
Keith Lancaster 10 months ago
Sadly, for some people the wedding is far more important than the marriage.
#3
Small fish in inadequate glass containers as center pieces. We all walk into the hall and find our tables, each with a belly up, totally dead, bloated guppy floating in its little glass coffin. Lots of people lost their appetites. Marriage didn't last a year.
Jaya 10 months ago (edited)
I know this post isn't about goldfish, but while we're talking about keeping fish in too small containers: Goldfish should never be kept in fishbowls, it's basically animal törture. They can live for decades, the reason all our goldfish died within years, months or weeks when we were kids, is because of completely inadequate ways of keeping them. We may not have known any better back then, but in this age of internet access we really don't have an excuse anymore.
meow point1 10 months ago
This! If you're wondering what to keep them instead, use a tank or a pond. Not a bowl.
Load More Replies... Gavin Johnson 10 months ago
Animals are not for decoration, there’s absolutely no need, it’s not quirky, it’s not fun, it’s abuse. When I ran weddings at a hotel we had a simple blanket ban of animals being used. No doves being released, no fish in bowls, no photos with llamas or a n other animal. We had fish in the moat around the hotel, geese and moorhens paddling around, lord help you if you upset the Canada Geese who nested in the grounds, I worked around them a lot, they recognised me and didn’t get angry at me, brides in big white dresses on the other hand really p1ssed them off, lost count of the number of times I had to tell folk that our grounds were the home for all sorts of animals and we liked it that way, leave them alone, take a photo from a distance but don’t treat them like they are a prop for your wedding.
Untamed Snark 10 months ago
The one wedding I went to that involved animals, the bride & groom were both animal lovers so organised with a local rescue to have some pics taken with some of their animals waiting for adoption. They selected a quiet area, had a tonne of cute pics, paid what they would have spent on flowers to the rescue and had a potential adoption board at the reception. If memory serves me correctly there were a few adoptions after the wedding.
Bored Birgit 10 months ago (edited)
I would leave instantly. Also when they "let fly" white doves.
#4
When the bride/groom shoves cake in the other’s face.
Vinnie 10 months ago
If it's by mutual agreement, it's only a problem for the spectators. Otherwise, NO. Also, it's dangerous to shove someone face down into the cake - they could be seriously injured by the rods in the cake.
Apatheist Account2 10 months ago
Or the little bride and groom figures on top.
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Dan Holden 10 months ago
If it's mutual and done in good fun I don't see the issue
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robin aldrich 10 months ago
That seems to be something that fellows especially think it's funny to do to the bride ...not even thinking we spend so much money on the dress, hair, makeup and all they had to do was throw on a tux they rented
Kaitlyn Lindsay 10 months ago
I did NOT want cake in my face. I told my husband it was important to me (he loves practical jokes) and I don't like being the center of attention in a situation I haven't prepared for (severe social anxiety) my green flag sweetie listened and didn't do it, despite people pressuring him because they thought it wasn't a big deal but he knew for me it was
Tropical Tarot 10 months ago
I told my partner it was a deal breaker. You do it, we're done.
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Joanne Earle 10 months ago
So tacky. I went to a wedding in the 80s where the bride rubbed cake all over his face.....apparently the groom was an hour late to either the wedding or the rehersal the night before. I was good friends w/ both of them as we all went to college together. It didn't last. His family was super Catholic and were able to get an anullment approved by the Vatican somehow.
Daniela Guerra 10 months ago
I mean, it's a cultural thing. I'm from Mexico and it's a tradition to do it.
#5
Mother in law in a white lace dress.
robin aldrich 10 months ago
After quite a few articles I've read, that seems to be happening a lot... why would you do that to your daughter or future daughter-in-law?
Michael Largey 10 months ago
MiL in white dress at wedding is an internationally recognized declaration of war.
Dr Jimmy 03 10 months ago
Oh, That's funny! Unless it's custom in that particular country...
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Ruth Watry 10 months ago
This is why brides need a bottle of red wine in their bridal room, and a friend who will drink a glass before the ceremony, and "trip" and "accidentally" spill it on the guest wearing a wedding dress.
Dr Jimmy 03 10 months ago
All of the best MOH/Bridesmaids have this particular skill in their toolboxes.
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Strack Attack 2 weeks ago
I don't see the problem with a guest wearing a simple white dress. But yeah, MIL wearing a Lacey white dress is a huge red flag.
#6
The bride and groom asked for cash only on the invitations, and then COUNTED the money given to them at breakfast the next morning in front of everyone.
Rosecrucian Roeth 10 months ago
Probably not very well equipped in the ethics department either.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 10 months ago
Gee, I'm surprised they waited that long. They should have counted it in bed during their wedding night and then swum around in it like Scrooge McDuck.
Inés Olabarria Smith 10 months ago
There’s a department store that you make a list, people can choose from that list a gift. Afterwards you can have the gift or money. In this store there’s also a travel agency so you can buy your trip. It’s “asking for money” discreetly. No envelopes or Venmo
#7
The speeches all end up being about times they were very drunk, including how drunk they were when they met.
Tom De Paul 10 months ago
If you can't spend time together totally sober or if you can't spend time together without engaging in goal-directed behavior, your relationship will not last. You have to be able just to be. Together.
Susan Raskin 9 months ago
they will either drag each other to a bottomless pit or one will sober up, grow up, and leave the other.
#8
The bride and groom expect people to pay to attend.
Savannah Newman 10 months ago
This must be a fairly new thing. I got married back in 2007 and the culture then would never even dreamed of asking people to pay for attendance. I even kept our gift registry with low price points so my guests wouldn't feel obligated to shell out tons of money. We got over 2k in money and so many gifts it took us a whole day to open them all up. Everybody we invited came so we ran out of everything and the guest pooled money to get more food, booze and for the DJ to stay longer. It was beautiful, and people still tell us it was the funnest wedding they have ever been to.
Michael Largey 10 months ago
These are precisely the sort of weddings I might be willing to pay not to attend.
#9
The mother of the bride/groom trying to control *anything* as if it’s her day.. not a good sign at all.
Alison Hobbs 10 months ago
I disagreed with something my mother wanted for my wedding and was told in no uncertain terms (by my cousin's wife) that I needed to remember that it was my mother's day, not mine! Oof!
Nikole 10 months ago
Your cousin’s wife? And it being your mom’s day? Oh I hope you laughed uproariously.
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brandyy17 10 months ago
my dad tried but my father in law stopped him every time. my father in law understood me better then my own father. i had no idea about any of it until about 2 or 3 months later wen my ex sister in law mentioned it. said how mad my father in law got wen my dad tried stopping my brother in laws very long and hard to follow speech. after that he kept an eye on my dad apparently. my dad couldnt understand my brother in laws mind and the fact we wanted his epic long speech about time lines. only part ppl understood was the end wen my brother in law said "the point to this time line theory and how it relates here is that no matter wat time line it is (husbands name) and (my name) will always find each other". to this day my dad still doesnt approve of the speech we let my brother in law do. not our fault my brother in law is smarter then my dad and has a mind like a sponge. we loved every part of it and if my dad looked at me and my husband he wouldve seen we were enjoying every second of the speech but nope it wasnt normal so my dad couldnt accept it
Sara Frazer 10 months ago
-kinda unrelated but I really like the style of the lady in the photo!
Little Bit 10 months ago
When I married my first husband, my mother wouldn't allow me to invite some of my friends because she wanted to invite her friends.
Damned_Cat 10 months ago
I knew a lady whose daughter (the bride) expected her to stay in charge of everything during the wedding. They ended up in a shouting match because the bride was mad about several things that didn't go as perfe3ctly as she expected.
Christina Born 10 months ago
My son's EX mother in law. She did indeed cause the collapse of the marriage not quite a year and a half in.
#10
I’ve been to a lot of wedding, two of which I vividly recall the groom spending 98 percent of the reception and dance with his friends rather the bride, both ended in quick divorce.
Carrie Costs 10 months ago
That's how my wedding day was, we're divorced which made me happier than my wedding day
robin aldrich 10 months ago
I didn't spend a whole lot of time with the groom at my wedding ...it wasn't a huge reception but I made a point of going table to table and speaking to everyone of the people that came... that's something that the guests remembered.
#11
Crying..
I was at a wedding once where the bride and groom were weeping, the priest and altar servers were sobbing, the whole congregation was blubbering. Even later on at the reception, the cake was in tiers..
Lyoness 10 months ago
Bahaha! But seriously, during our ceremony pretty much everyone was crying. Still married 27 years later.
Nea 10 months ago
Very common in India for bride and her family to be sobbing hard even in a happy wedding. The custom of women moving out from her family to another…
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 10 months ago
What people might have thought were tears running down my face at my wedding were actually sweat beads of terror.
#12
I went to a wedding where the bride gave a heartfelt sincere speech about how the groom is "like a loyal dog": always listens, is always around, does what she asks, etc etc
She meant it to be cute or something. I found it kinda f****d up and demeaning lmao. Yes she did literally say "like a good loyal dog" im not interpreting that.
brandyy17 10 months ago
i went to a wedding where the father in law literally treated the groom like a child and disrespected him in his speech. after every sentence hed say "you hear me (grooms name)". me and my husband were angry. as friends of the groom our whole table was angry about it. wen the guys treat him in a teasing a*****e way he laughs bc he knows they r joking around but at his wedding during the father in laws speech we just saw pure uncomfort and akwardness in our friend. he was just grinning and bearing it. my husband told me he only looks like that wen hes cornered and uncomfortable and that hes always been like that. it was horrible to watch. wen the grooms father did a speech it was a heartwarming and silly speech and u could tell the bride was loving every word. remembering that speech and how he acted wen we brought it up next time we saw him makes me so mad even now.
BeesEelsAndPups 10 months ago
I was at a wedding where the bride and groom wrote their own vows. The groom's was actually kinda nice. The bride's was all about how well the groom will provide for her, and what he'd buy her, and where they'd go on vacations, etc. It was disgusting.
Michael Largey 10 months ago
Appropriate that she should use canine characterizations since she herself is clearly some kind of b***h.
sara jahan 9 months ago
What is this strange custom of having speeches at wedding of our daughter / son ?? In India we accept groom as a King. No speeches. What can you achieve with a nasty speech ?? If a groom is insulted *before a crowd*, he will carry the insult inside the home and the father-in-law's daughter will weep forever, "without a crowd". Why give speeches and reveal ?? Keep silent, that is all. All are happy.
#13
Went to a wedding where the groom talked about how much he loved the bride and the bride ALSO talked about how much the groom loved her.
A year in and she cheated, they're divorcing.
#14
I went to a wedding where the bride was happy, glowing, flitting around the room talking to everyone excitedly. The groom was staring off into space almost catatonic.. Two days later he left to go to the store and didn't come back, they got the marriage annulled and never spoke to each other again. And didn't return the presents.
Lyoness 10 months ago
If this happened to a friend the last thing I'd expect them to do is worry about returning the presents.
Savannah Newman 10 months ago
Right, I would tell them please, do what you must with the gift. Go office space on it in a field if it makes you feel better. It is just stuff.
Load More Replies... BeesEelsAndPups 10 months ago
That's bad. I have a friend who got married to a guy, and it was obvious that he was marrying her for the right to stay in the country. In all of their photos she looked thrilled, and he looked like he had signed his own death warrant. 7 years later, they are still married, legally. But they sleep in different rooms, and he has had numerous affairs. She has nothing positive to say about the experience.
Nikole 10 months ago
Divorce? I guess she just has a roommate at this point. I had that. Happily single after just over a decade.
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sturmwesen 10 months ago
We heard the priest say how women are the festering sores in the bones of their men..and then very quiet, nearly not audible "or their crown"...it's not even a correct bible quote!We were flabbergasted the bride did not deck him
#15
They're still together so I guess it wasn't a red flag for their *marriage* but I attended a wedding where *all* of the speeches were about how great and funny and smart and creative and nice and sweet the bride was... and the groom got "good job finding such a catch!" as his highest compliment. on *his* wedding day. just seemed off to me.
KatSaidWhat 10 months ago
Well if she is all of those things, he must be too to have caught, kept AND married her.
#16
I went to a wedding that had a buffet and they ran out of food when there were still about 50 people left to eat. And they weren’t at all concerned about feeding the rest of their guests. Not feeding your guests properly is a total red flag.
Strack Attack 2 weeks ago
No it isn't. One of the things you need to do at a wedding, is eat.
Load More Replies... Savannah Newman 10 months ago
Well, we ran out of food. We invited 350 people. I figured we would get 200 tops, planned for 200. Everybody we invited, and then some came.We hardly got any rsvps back, so I had to guess. It worked out though, we ordered some pizzas and went on with the party. We celebrate 18 years married this year.
KatSaidWhat 10 months ago
TBF, people become absolute pigs at buffets and although they probably had enough for those 50 people to start with, by then the overloaded plates had already come and gone.
robin aldrich 10 months ago
UNLESS... the wedding had a bunch of Crashers and they just didn't have enough food ...that evidently has happened and the bride had the balls to sue the caterer when they had a bunch of people just show up that weren't counted for.... would be the only exception
Sergio Bicerra 10 months ago
I saw a post about people serving themselves from the buffet like they're taking their last meal and left a bunch of people with nothing. They bought pizzas but can't recall if it was the bride, groom or the hungry people.
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Mark Hastings 9 months ago (edited)
Went to a wedding of a co-worker many years ago. There was about 150 guests. As everyone was leaving the church, each person was given a $10 Taco Bell gift card. This was given instead of having food at the reception. Got to to the Taco Bell and found the place was absolutely packed. The drive through had a line 2 blocks long and the line out the door wrapped around the place. Noticed on the gift card it was good at any of the Yum brand restaurants, Taco Bell, KFC, A&W, Pizza Hut, Long John Silvers. Brought a bucket of KFC chicken and sides to the reception, Had a lot of long looks from those eating thrown together tacos for dinner.
Chuck 9 months ago
Nos saltamos la recepción. (we're skipping the reception)
Load More Replies... Susan Raskin 9 months ago
May not be a red flag for the marriage but certainly a red flag for friendships.
Beak Hookage 10 months ago
My god that food looks amazing. I should probably go and eat something.
#17
The groom with a cocktail waitress on his lap.
#18
My husband refused to show up for our pre-wedding shoot because his family wanted to have a family lunch with him. My siblings and I were rightfully upset because my dad paid 20k for photos and 200k for wedding alone. Husband was insulted and refused to leave bridal suite for entry. He then reprimanded me during the entire wedding about my siblings disrespecting him. He wouldn’t let me take photos alone with my friends “because we are married now”.
Fast forward one year exactly, right now, he wants me to cut off my family completely or we can’t be together. We just separated this week and will be filing for divorce. I never imagined I’d be divorced at 27, still processing but he is a garbage narcissistic human :(.
🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking 10 months ago
Some of that money would have been better spent on professional help evaluating the couple and their compatibility!
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Janelle Collard 10 months ago
Sounds like the bride was trying to be accommodating to the AH groom plus - $220,000 spent!
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Chris the Bobcat 10 months ago
I hear OP. I never imagined I would be divorced by 28, and twice divorced by 36. Haven't even dated in 12 years or more now. Not feeling sorry for myself, just thinking how life rarely turns out the way we plan. At 51, I'm not sure I'll ever date again, or even want to.
Xenia Harley 10 months ago
Haven't there been studies that the more someone spends on a wedding, the more likely they are to divorce?
Susan Raskin 9 months ago
Sorry your dad totally wasted a quarter million dollars on one self-centered stupid day. The only good is that you realized you married a very toxic person and you are leaving before he destroys you. DO NOT ask dad for another wedding ever.
#19
One of my best friends: took the wedding ages and ages to start. We all had a bad feeling about it but soldiered on and waited and waited. (Turns out the groom was melting down and they talked him into it. I wish they hadn't, for my friend's sake.)
Later that day at the luncheon, the bride is nowhere to be found. I hunt around a bit and she's sitting with the groom in a side room while he eats because he "wanted to be alone."
Those of us close to the bride knew she'd been saving money for years as a nest egg. We watched on social media as they spent extravagant amounts of her money on their 3 month honeymoon in Europe (after he convinced her to quit her job).
More happened as the years went on (including a sweet little baby who's nearly an adult now), but that wedding was a red flag. And when she finally told me she was getting divorced I couldn't help but blurt "oh thank goodness", at which point she laughed. Got my friend back.
Kaitlyn Lindsay 10 months ago
The needing to eat in peace and quiet could be legit if they are genuinely overstimulated and need a few minutes. Everything else is a hard pass.
#20
Typically if it feels more of a birthday party for one of the couple than a wedding. I went to a wedding once where it just felt like a belated brides 21st. Everything was about her. She spoke nothing about her new husband and spent most of the night getting drunk with her bridesmaids. Even the bridesmaids speech’s were all about her, again very rarely mentioning the groom. She even made sure his parents were sat at the back of the venue and her parents front and centre was very bizarre. They divorced a few months later.
#21
A destination wedding. (Please take your precious vacation time, when and where we ask you to, and make it all about us.).
Libstak 10 months ago (edited)
My niece did it for personal reasons that were an important adjunct to their relationship. They knew only a small number would go, there was about 25 all up. They had a reception locally 3 days later, re wore their wedding dress and tuxedos plus bridesmaids and grooms men, ensuring extended friends and family could have photos with them, for all those who could not attend the destination. Smart thinking imo and it ensured my heavily disabled brother, her uncle as well as grand parents on all sides could be a part of the celebrations.
Remi (He/Him) 10 months ago
That's completely different imho. My cousin had three wedding receptions mostly because the families live on different continents. At the actual wedding ceremony there was just a few people close to the pair and also near the magistrate. They're still happily married brw
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Blue Bunny of Happiness 10 months ago
One of my relatives had an expensive wedding in the Caribbean. Separated and divorced within months. Turns out she wanted to call it off but felt she couldn’t because people had spent money booking travel and accommodation to attend.
robin aldrich 10 months ago
And blow your vacation budget for a couple of years on the whole thing
brandyy17 10 months ago
ya if its in the same state or the state over i dont mind. if i gotta hop on a plane and spend a few days no thanks. me and my husband did it once for my sister but my parents paid for our flight and room. it was my sisters 2nd marriage and she was from my dads first marriage and he felt bad we were getting dragged to another state on top of my other sister being a bridesmaid but not me. she felt real guilty wen i made both my sisters and my future sister in law bridesmaids. she even apologized cuz she assumed i didnt wanna do all the traveling the bridal party had to do. she wasnt wrong but still it stung. i was tempted to not make her a bridesmaid but my dad said it would b better to make her one to show im the little sister who actually cares about her siblings lol. my nephew (the son of my brother) was my ring bearer. i left none of my siblings out at my wedding.
Tropical Tarot 10 months ago
For our wedding a friend was traveling cross country. Midwest to Florida .She used to live here and moved to be closer to family. Turns out her dad decided to get married and drive down with her as his honeymoon. Thank goodness he didn't come to the wedding itself. He would have been told off.
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Strack Attack 2 weeks ago
No it isn't. But I do think that if you want a destination wedding, don't be surprised if some guests can't come.
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 10 months ago
You're invited to my wedding but it's in Australia. Yeah, like I want to spend that much money on your one special day, thanks #UK
#22
I found out later that a wedding I attended was also attended by the groom's side piece. That marriage was doomed.
And I've never seen a wedding where the groom smeared cake on the bride's face last. When they're cute and put a little smear of frosting on her nose or try to feed her a too big piece it's fine, but the ones where he just smears cake all over her are doomed. Not a single one has made it 10 years, most don't make 5. Now if the bride smears cake it's fine, those marriages last. But not the other way around.
Kitty Smith 10 months ago
I saw a really cute wedding moment like this. The groom cut a slice of wedding cake that was 1/5 of the thing, that piece was huge. When he fed it to the bride she was laughing so hard trying too force it down her make up was ruined by the end of it. Been happily married 13 years.
Debby Keir 10 months ago
I'd love (nope) to see a 'face smash' in a UK wedding - the cake is usually a mature fruit cake with very hard Royal Icing - you'd need stitches after.....
KatSaidWhat 10 months ago
My friend makes wedding and birthday cakes - she would absolutely k**l you if you smashed it as each one is a personal work of art.
#23
Hours long ceremony following a reception with no food.
Apatheist Account2 10 months ago
Ceremony following the reception? Perhaps they divorced before they married.
Nikole 10 months ago
Ha. Yeah they for sure meant “followed by”. They also had a baby before getting pregnant.
Load More Replies... #24
My x husband hit me so hard with the cake smash my head bent backwards and he laughed.
It absolutely was personal
Second my friend's mom's wedding she did everything for it every single detail bro was retired. She wrote the most incredible vows.
He stood up there sheepishly embarrassed and said uh I didn't have time...ditto I guess.
#25
As a supposed supporter of the couple: none of the speeches mention them as a couple. Friends take more of a "if you're happy, then I'm happy!" kind of tone. The couple isn't aligned on their wedding details and/or looks peeved the whole day
As a guest: where the cost of hosting is passed onto the guests. Or there is no lodging nearby so guests can't imbibe and the hosts are annoyed that no one danced or stayed late. Outdoors with very few accomodations or enough meals. Yes, I get that it's "your day," but hosting an event should account for guests' experiences, imo.
Ann Kapoxeet 10 months ago
Why do people feel entitled to drink alcohol at weddings? It's weird.
#26
Family members trying to make the day about anyone else but the wife. My friends wife is a twin. And at the wedding the Grandma dida speech about "the two sisters that shared a womb" all of the people at the fruends table were looking at each other cringing hard.
Lyoness 10 months ago
Uh huh. My father's speech started with how if I wanted someone from a particular country (my partner was born outside Canada) we had that ethnic group in our family already, so I didn't actually need to get married. Haha. He spent the next 10 minutes going on about how, even though I was getting married, my relationship with him would never change. You know, because a daughter's relationship with her daddy (yes, he said daddy) is more important, he'd been there for me longer, it just went on and on. Emotional incest at its best. I was mortified, and to this day he wonders why I'm LC.
Remi (He/Him) 10 months ago
ewwwwww! Racist and going towards incestuous. Is your dad an orange president?
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E Menendez 10 months ago
My mother in law thanked everyone for coming to my husband and my wedding and for being there to support her on this important day. She made it sound like she had paid for the wedding and they were all her guests. Note - we paid for everything ourselves. I was so mad.
#27
When the groom is sickly pale, sweating bullets, and looking pig-sick instead of joyful. Source: my wedding. .
Midoribird Aoi 10 months ago
Or, in the case of a neighbor, he just had a fear of being in front of a crowd.
Remi (He/Him) 10 months ago
Or the idiots decided to have the bachelor party on the day before.
The Starsong Princess 10 months ago
My cousin’s husband was like that at their wedding. His knees started to buckle and the best man had to pick him back up and set him on his feet. He got married with the bride holding.him by one elbow and the best man by the other to keep him from collapsing. They’ve been happily married for over thirty years now.
Michael Largey 10 months ago
That was everyone at my wedding. July. 95 degrees inside. Church was being renovated. No air conditioning. No ventilation.
#28
How much money is being spent, there is an inverse relationship between how expensive the wedding is and how long the marriage lasts.
Michael Melfa 10 months ago
I completely support inexpensive weddings. When I got married, we had no money. We did what we could with a friend's backyard, some rented folding chairs, the arch the high school used for prom, a cake from a grandmother's friend, and the town florist giving a discount. Still together 13 years later, wouldn't change a thing.
Tropical Tarot 10 months ago
Ours was about 6k US. Most of it was the venue and food. It was my dream venue. My only regret was rain. The reception was supposed to be on the rooftop at sunset overlooking the downtown skyline and the river.
Load More Replies... Lame Llama 10 months ago (edited)
We had an expensive wedding (we are expats, big family and lots of friends) , which we paid for ourselves, and my husband of 10 years just woke up and planned a spontaneous date for today.
BoredGrandma 10 months ago
It will be 34 years tomorrow and it was an all-in-one at a lodge for less than $500. BIL brought stereo, most brought a dish, dress was borrowed. Makes no sense going crazy for one day. Still very happily married and we made it about the marriage not the wedding, have always been happy with our decision.
Blue Bunny of Happiness 10 months ago (edited)
This certainly seems to be the case in my experience. Mind, my wedding was cheap as chips and the marriage was short! Top tip - don’t settle for someone because you think you can’t do better.
Paul Jayne 10 months ago
My SO and I eloped in an effort to save the relationship. We had been friends for twenty years and partners for ten. A couple of years later it was over.
#29
When the bride and her friends and family are at the opposite side of the building from the groom and his friends and family. The couple were barely together and it felt like two different events. They lasted a year.
Mike F 10 months ago
TBF, that can be caused by a careless or overheard remark. I was at a wedding once where an outlying in law made an AH remark that was overheard and cast a pall over everything. The guy was a d****e at best and the fact that he was hammered when he arrived didn't help but it sort of turned the wedding into two camps.
#30
The groom and groomsmen acting like frat boys.
Liz Rutherford 9 months ago
When guys go to college, they have a chance to join a fraternity and the women have a chance to join a sorority. These are basically social clubs to drink, go out, and especially for men, go to class just enough not to be kicked out.
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Doctor Strange 10 months ago
How do you define 'acting like frat boys'. When one of my friends got married, we were pretty goofy. I brough a bunch of silly hats and accessories for when we did the groomsmens photos, and there are some shots of us dueling with canes. And the wedding reception was Doctor Who themed so before I got to the venue I swapped into a fez and 'proper' jacket instead of a tuxedo. They are still married, just had a second child.
brandyy17 10 months ago
probably getting drunk and rowdy movie sterotype frat boys from teen movies is probably how they define it. theres a huge difference btween drunk/rowdy and goofy/fun
Load More Replies... Liz Rutherford 9 months ago
My husband was in a fraternity in college. We got married when we were 34 (birthdays are two months apart) and one of his groomsmen was an old frat brother. He was the same age as us but never grew out of his "frat boy" period. My husband, his Best Man and other groomsman are trying their g*d's best to take nice pictures, but the frat boy was having none of it, acting like the 20-year-old my husband once knew. Stupid yelling, trying to pull my husband's pants down, asking about the booze at the wedding (we had a strict drink limit) and he blew his top, saying that it was a party. Sorry not sorry it was our wedding and we agreed on the drink limit months before and stuck to it.. He stayed for dinner, the toast and 4 songs. Husband cut ties shortly after and hasn't spoken to that guy in almost 10 years.
#31
The groom fondling the bride's a*s while the officiant does the preamble, hugging/h**h-fiving his bros when they are declared married (before kissing his new wife), then both of them getting knee-walking drunk and scrapping all night.
RedHairedDragon 10 months ago
Oh, get down from your high horse! Everybody knows that if you're high you're looking down on people. /S
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#32
So I am a wedding photographer. I am actually moving away from weddings, but I have kept up with a bunch of my couples. Weddings where one of the mothers / mothers in law tried to book me and demanded I speak to them as if they were the client (I always make the couple my clients, regardless of who pays. They sign the contract, etc) have ended kind of often.
I suspect it's because of they're controlling of the wedding they're probably controlling of everything else, and a lot of marriages just cannot withstand that.
#33
I went to a wedding where the Brides entire family and close friends gave speeches and they only talk about amazing she was. No mention of the groom in ANY speech. They got divorced a year later.
#34
A video presentation of the groom’s birth right before dinner (yes, this actually happened).
Vinnie 10 months ago (edited)
"Cool, I'd love to see the Mom's tw@t" is not generally heard outside a M**F p0rn convention.
Remi (He/Him) 10 months ago (edited)
did they censor m**f? Edit: oh heck they did
Load More Replies... #35
I understand not wanting the traditional vows, but I went to one wedding where ALL of the vows were extremely childish like “I promise not to leave the toilet seat up”. They lasted about a year.
Beak Hookage 10 months ago
I went to a wedding once and the groom was French. They included an extra vow to always put the baguettes in the proper basket. Everyone chuckled. It was a lovely wedding and a lovely day. ^_^
LB 10 months ago
Hmm, maybe I should do something about always making sure there's sourdough bread in the house (I'm Dutch, partner German, we live in NL).
Load More Replies... brandyy17 10 months ago
funny thing is if me and my husband did childish vows it wouldve brought us closer. we still have our inner child in our hearts. some family members wouldve disapproved but that wouldnt stop us. we did the traditional vows tho cuz we did a proper catholic wedding. after the wedding we started telling each other wat we wouldve put in our vows and ya it was ridiculous. i remember saying "i promise u can just push me over if im in the middle of the bed wen u come to bed" and he said "ill make sure to always say that one word u find hilarious so i can 100% garuntee to make u laugh".....i find the word plume funny idk y. ever since i was a kid i just do this squeaky uncontrollable laugh no idea y. i probably knew y i found it funny once but now its just hardwired into me.
TheEternalferret 9 months ago
I started my vows with a quote from Deadpool and both of us included the fact that ice cream fixes everything. Next year is our 10 year wedding anniversary.
#36
The bride and groom arguing. If they cant get through the "happiest day of their life" without an argument, that marriage is not lasting long.
Shark Lady 10 months ago
Wedding planning is stressful, made even worse if there are family members who are making unreasonable demands etc. A brief argument due to frayed nerves is not necessarily a red flag, it's how things are resolved that is important.
Kaitlyn Lindsay 10 months ago
Disagree. I'm short with my hubby when I'm stressed. I hold it together on the outside but since he is my safe place I get grumpy with him in stressful moments. I'm working on it but we've still been happy for our 19 years.
#37
I went to a wedding once and sat behind the groom’s grandmother. Apparently she’s hard of hearing because everyone heard her “whisper” when the bride walked down the aisle “I guess you can dress up trash”.
#38
I used to work weddings as a bartender, and there was a speech I heard where the bride kept talking about how many times she had wanted to leave the groom. That was a red flag.
#39
When the groom starts his speech with " this is for all you haters who didn't want to see us together" ( rumour has it he was referring to the bride's uncle and brother who don't like him).
Now i am hearing the girl wants to divorce him but can't because they have a young son under 5 years old.
Glen Ellyn 10 months ago
True! It's better to come from a broken home than to live in one.
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Susan Raskin 9 months ago
yes she can and should divorce him. Kids have radar and they know what's going on in the home.
Tropical Tarot 10 months ago
She may not be able to afford it until the kid is in school. (Cost of daycare) Sad but it happens.
#41
(My brother's wedding).
The sister of the groom is waaay in the back of the bridesmaid line, behind a long line of the bride's friends who happen to be large women and totally block her view of everything. Couldn't even see my own brother's wedding because of the arrangement during the ceremony. Would've been nicer just to be sitting.
So annoying because my brother & I were very close growing up, and I did a ton to help them out for the wedding. My small request to be closer to the front of the line (so we'd get family pictures together with my brother, Mom, and Dad all in one s**t) were just completely dismissed. She didn't even have a reason... Just didn't care to change the order back (originally my name was, of course, right after the bridesmaid).
She's an only child, spoiled by her parents, and turned into such a bridezilla. She had my brother almost in tears a few times in the weeks before the wedding... Anyone else would've left her, but he's too nice and just keeps "hoping everything will work out." 🤷🏼♀️
I'm keeping my distance from them for a *while* because hearing his constant, real complaints about her got really old... Especially when he actually went through with the wedding.
Aidan Pite 10 months ago
It took me far too long to realize she was trying to say she wanted to be in the same photo s h o t as the rest of her family. BP really needs to get a grip with the censoring.
Lyoness 10 months ago
I'm on the fence about this one. It's understandable that OP wanted to be closer to the front of the line, but I think it's up to the couple to decide that. If sis asked and bride said no, she could have checked with her brother. As for her arguments - 1. She couldn't see around the other bridesmaids. Well, you could have suggested a staggered line during the rehearsal. And 2, she wanted a family shot. But a picture of their immediate family doesn't usually happen when all the bridesmaids are there - it's a separate picture. Honestly it sounds to me like sis is a little bitter for not having a bigger place in the nuptials because she did so much. But bottom line, it wasn't her wedding, it wasn't her choice, and she'll still be in the pictures.
#42
“Marriage is the HARDEST thing you will EVER have to do, but these two… these two are strong enough to make it work.” My friend, marriage is optional and it’s important to me that you know that. .
Marie BellaDonna 9 months ago (edited)
No relationships is always sunshine and butterflies. The good ones take work sometimes. But there's a big difference between putting in effort, and seeing your marriage as a chore...
#43
When they newly married couple are having a screaming match. In front of their kids. Still wearing their wedding clothes. Dead of night in front of their apartment.
He got pissed her boyfriend when she was a teenager showed up with someone else. The ex didn't know who's wedding it was. Groom was even more upset because he "handed him a beer".
#44
The father of the bride made a speech about how he saw his daughter ‘organising’ the groom over time. Basically, instead of telling a story of their burgeoning love, it was a tale of how she began to control him over time. Was cringey. Lasted 3 years.
#45
I went to a wedding one time where the bride ran away from the ceremony with her maid of honor and a guy we worked with (who was invited to the wedding) went to comfort her. she ended up coming back and still getting married then divorcing him later.
#46
Shots. The bridal party doing non stop shots from the time they start getting ready.
Liz Rutherford 9 months ago
"Dave, why can't I remember our wedding?" "Because you were blitzed, Amanda."
#47
No food lots of alcohol.
Savannah Newman 10 months ago
I catered a wedding where they had the ceremony about 2 or so hours after sunrise. When the sun perfectly illuminated the valley it took place in. Then they did brunch offerings with all sorts of teas and coffees with just some mimosas. It was all wrapped up by 3pm when the bride and groom went off on their backpacking through Glacier honeymoon. It was amazing. I think about them often and hope they are doing well.
Load More Replies... Dave Platt 10 months ago
We decided to have a no-alcohol reception and made up a nice fruit punch bowl. My bride-to-be let me chill it by putting in a block of dry ice, so it was bubbling and fuming all through the party. No drunken behavior by anyone, no drama, and our 40th will be next spring.
#48
Just complaining in general. complain when you get home, thanks.
#49
Drunk, fat uncle who refuses to wear a suit and goes in a tshirt.
Zaach 10 months ago
I don't own a suit, I will be going to my grand-nephew's wedding but though I am fat, I won't be drunk (but my wedding present is $1,000 so it should be okay)
roddy 10 months ago
As long as you look as if you made some effort to be presentable loved ones won't mind.
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#50
When the best man’s speech starts with, ‘I probably shouldn’t say this, but….
#51
There is a "bride's side" and "groom's side" seating arrangement... and one side is empty.
roddy 10 months ago
Could be a small family. I grew up as an immigrant with no kin around me. And an introvert, so not many friends. Doesn't mean the marriage will not work out.
Limey 10 months ago
Yes, I am a Brit who married an American in the USA. He has a large family, I have a small one (no siblings, nieces, nephews…). Only a very few of my already small family could make it. We didn’t do ‘sides’, sit where you want. 40 years married this year.
Load More Replies... #52
The way the bride looked at the ex girlfriend of the groom, who showed up in a mini-skirt with a random dude on her arm. The ex was my sister, the couple didn't last 3 years.
#53
A red flag at a wedding could be if there's obvious tension between the couple or their families, excessive drama, or if one person seems distant or uncomfortable. Another sign might be if there are unreasonable demands from the couple or their families.
#55
The groom wants to show everyone a presentation on a big screen before the ceremony.
#56
Pills. Lots of people eating pills.
A couple of friends of mine got married at the chapel at Graceland. They were one of the first few couples who were able to do so. E'erybody was eating pills and super f****d up. Needless to say, that marriage didn't last more than 5 years.
#57
"We've had our ups and downs"..."you put up with alot from me".
#58
When the bride/groom get liquored up. Or their parents. Not a good look.
brandyy17 10 months ago
their day their celebration if they wanna let loose let them. if they truely love each other then u only get one wedding so have fun. if its clear they wont last then ya super drunk is probably a bad thing and wont end well
#59
Either the bride or groom (or booth) getting absolutely obliterated before the ceremony….
#61
The groom is drunk.
Florapocalypse 10 months ago
If either is drunk during the actual ceremony, I'd consider that a red flag.
Load More Replies... #62
Held the same day as a baby shower.
#63
A cash bar.
Lyoness 10 months ago
Hey, don't knock cash bars. Not everyone can afford to fund their guest's drinking for the night. Even if you slash your guest list to the bone some of us still can't afford booze. If you want to drink, go ahead! But don't expect me to pay for it (yes, we had a cash bar and we've been married 27 years).
#64
Don't wear white. Unless of course you're Queen Elizabeth at Charles & Camilla's wedding! Camilla couldn't even wear white to her own wedding because Elizabeth had taken the colour so she had to wear grey 🤣🤣🤣.
Lame Llama 10 months ago (edited)
I think the OP forgot that Queen Camilla was 60 when the marriage took place. It's also custom for the bride to *not* wear white when it is not their 1st marriage. OP being snipey is uncalled for.
Alexandra 10 months ago
Of course not. This was Camilla's second wedding. Traditionally a woman who marries a second time doesn't wear white since she can't be considered a virgin anymore, which is the significance of the white. Also, traditionally a wedding dress itself, whatever colour, is also the prerogative of a first-time bride. Personally I think you should wear what you want, but given Camilla's situation, I'm not surprised she decided to stick with tradition.
Apatheist Account2 10 months ago
Royal weddings have a very serious protocol.
Load More Replies... Debby Keir 10 months ago
Totally wrong - Queen Elizabeth did NOT attend Charles and Camillas wedding - they had a civil ceremony (where Camilla wore a seagreenish gown) and the Queen hosted their reception. *However, Queen Elizabeth II didn't attend the event as Charles and Camilla actually tied the knot in an intimate ceremony with only 28 guests, including Prince William and Prince Harry. Camilla and her first husband Andrew Parker Bowles' kids -- Andrew Parker Bowles, Tom Parker Bowles and Laura Lopes -- were also in attendance. Being the head of the Church of England, the Queen thought it would be inappropriate for her to attend his son's wedding. Despite this, the Queen and her husband, Prince Philip, joined the newly-wed couple during the Service of Prayer and Dedication and by organizing a grand reception for them in Windsor Castle.*
#65
From a wedding I went to in December, the bride and groom and then eventually the entire wedding party doing the “trump dance” (where he stupidly jerks his hands around like he’s sucking off Putin) when the dance floor opened. To YMCA nonetheless.
#66
No alcohol allowed.
Vinnie 10 months ago
It might be annoying to some guests, but it's not a sign of future marital discord if the couple are in agreement about no alcohol.
Lyoness 10 months ago
Agreed. What if one of them is an alcoholic? Or a family member is known for getting blackout drunk and saying awful things? Besides, if you can't wait a few hours to have a drink you've got a problem.
Load More Replies... Cat servant 10 months ago
I had an alcohol free wedding 36 years ago. My husband doesn't drink and I rarely drink. Why have alcohol if you don't want to? This is an expensive item for a 2 hour party. We also didn't have dancing or a meal. Literally a reception with cake and alcohol free punch in the middle of the afternoon. Ceremony and reception was under 3 hours. Why should we have tried to come up with the money for drinks for 50 people? Even in the 80's that is a significant amount of money.
Sarah 10 months ago
You’re still Hosting guests , who spent money on outfits, gifts , travel and possibly accommodation. Sounds like a miserable party for a child’s birthday party. The least you could do is provide food esp For their journey back homes . Cake and punch for adults? Yea you should Come up With the money to respect your guests, Likewise why would They pay for a gift for no music, no proper food or drinks.. Mocktails/ soft drinks. I’d say they were disgusted
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Child of the Stars 10 months ago
Yes, because we all know that consuming an intoxicating substance, thereby potentially acting like a s.hit head is the foundation of a solid relationship.
Robin Roper 10 months ago (edited)
If people have to have alcohol to enjoy themselves or have a good time, they are the problem.
brandyy17 10 months ago
i had a friend who was getting married and the best man was a recovering alocoholic. we were all very proud of him he was at almost a year sober at the time. my friend did an alcohol free wedding out of respect for him. she didnt care at all. she likes drinking but she respects ppl she cares about and her husband cares about more. he still talks about how they didnt need to do it for him and how he couldve dealt with it and how thoughtful they r. hes been 8 years sober now if im doing the math right. able to b around alcohol without feeling uncomfortable now. we had a party for him wen he reached 5 years we all experimented with mixing different sodas he absolutely loved it and brought up our friends wedding saying how it was almost as fun as their wedding. apparently the groom and groomsmen did the same thing at the wedding
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What do you think ?
Igor914624 10 months ago
Went to a co-workers wedding once. They had been living together for 2 years and decided to get married when she got pregnant. 7 months later, right after the baby was born, they got divorced. She was a freckled, flaming redhead. He was a pale skinned blonde. The baby was dark skinned and had distinct African features.
Marie BellaDonna 9 months ago
My dad used to say the same thing. "I have a strict no-returns policy." We all laughed about it, at the time. My husband included. But looking back... Let's just say it was less of a joke to Dad than he pretended it was. Oh well, he's dead now, and my husband and I will celebrate our 20 year wedding anniversary this year. So I think I came out on top. 😊
Load More Replies... Karen Bryan 8 months ago
Say what you will about Mormons, their wedding protocols have a lot to recommend them. The ceremony takes place in a temple: parents, grandparents, and a few others are present (and they all have to members in good standing). The reception follows, and it can be held just about anywhere (a cousin's daughter had hers in my sister and brother-in-law's barn). The formal sit-down dinner is unusual; a buffet is much more common (grand-nephew and his bride had a taco truck!). I'm not a Mormon anymore, but the traditions make the whole deal easy on everybody.
KatSaidWhat 10 months ago
I live UK, I had seen my half-sister once since 1992 when she was 3. Not only did I get an invite to the wedding but my father decided to open with "as this is not a traditional wedding, I'm going to go against norm and welcome (Kat) who flew from London and turns 40 tomorrow". I cringed hard and apologised to the bride right after the speeches. She was fine - as far as I could tell.
Igor914624 10 months ago
Went to a co-workers wedding once. They had been living together for 2 years and decided to get married when she got pregnant. 7 months later, right after the baby was born, they got divorced. She was a freckled, flaming redhead. He was a pale skinned blonde. The baby was dark skinned and had distinct African features.
Marie BellaDonna 9 months ago
My dad used to say the same thing. "I have a strict no-returns policy." We all laughed about it, at the time. My husband included. But looking back... Let's just say it was less of a joke to Dad than he pretended it was. Oh well, he's dead now, and my husband and I will celebrate our 20 year wedding anniversary this year. So I think I came out on top. 😊
Load More Replies... Karen Bryan 8 months ago
Say what you will about Mormons, their wedding protocols have a lot to recommend them. The ceremony takes place in a temple: parents, grandparents, and a few others are present (and they all have to members in good standing). The reception follows, and it can be held just about anywhere (a cousin's daughter had hers in my sister and brother-in-law's barn). The formal sit-down dinner is unusual; a buffet is much more common (grand-nephew and his bride had a taco truck!). I'm not a Mormon anymore, but the traditions make the whole deal easy on everybody.
KatSaidWhat 10 months ago
I live UK, I had seen my half-sister once since 1992 when she was 3. Not only did I get an invite to the wedding but my father decided to open with "as this is not a traditional wedding, I'm going to go against norm and welcome (Kat) who flew from London and turns 40 tomorrow". I cringed hard and apologised to the bride right after the speeches. She was fine - as far as I could tell.
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