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Folks Online Get Second-Hand Embarrassment When They See These 35 Things At Weddings
In the past weddings were more viewed as a religious ritual and celebration so it had a more strict format with the things that were supposed to happen. In contemporary times people who are getting married can personalize the fest to their own taste and ditch the parts they don’t feel match their personalities.
Even though weddings now are very different, there are traditions from the past that people still like to include and there are new ones forming. But whether it’s tradition or not, some things at weddings seem just cringey and unnecessary. Such as the ones that Reddit users shared when they were asked, “What in weddings makes you cringe?”
Let us know what would you answer to this question and whether you feel that the things mentioned in the list are true. Also, don’t forget to upvote the submissions that you agree with the most.
More info: Reddit
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#1
Releasing of doves into the sky....
At my wedding I will release rats into the crowd.
ί𝔫ＣίŦᵃт𝐔𝐬 3 years ago
I read that as a swarm of crocodiles. That's OK too, I guess.
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RoanTheMad 3 years ago
how about you just keep animals away from your wedding? (unless it's like a friendly doggo ring bearer that i've seen done before)
Becky Samuel 3 years ago
I'm not sure that I see the problem with this one. The doves just fly home after a nice day out.
Assuming from the popularity of the answers people in the thread gave, the traditions they mentioned are slowly becoming less popular. The best person to ask if it’s true is the one who plans weddings so Bored Panda reached out to certified wedding planner Ivy Summer, author of Poise Over Panic: How to Plan a Wedding in a Pandemic.
It seems that the clients that Ivy worked with have a similar outlook to what is cringey as in her experience, “Many couples are forgoing the garter removal and garter toss. They either think it doesn't quite suit them as a couple, or they think it's cheesy.”
RELATED:
#2
Smashing the slice of cake in each other's face.
Justin Jones 3 years ago
My wife informed me in no uncertain terms that if I smashed cake in her face we were getting an immediate divorce.
Ace 3 years ago
When and where did that come from anyway? Only ever seen it on youtube and presumed US weddings.
Well-Dressed Wolf 3 years ago
As a lifelong American, I’ve been to many of my relatives’ and friends’ weddings over my life. Have never seen any of them do the “Hulk smash!” thing with the cake. XD And I’ve seen weddings for various races, cultures, and religions, and mixes thereof. No cake smooshing. AFAIK it’s not an “American” thing either; at least not a common one.
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Rachel Cobb 3 years ago
The people who do this actually (Look it up) get divorced far more often than the people who don't.
Chris berkley 3 years ago (edited)
Lol I straight up told my husband before out wedding if you smash cake in my face, I'll smash the whole cake on your head.....obviously joking..........obviously......
Lesley Withers 3 years ago
I think its a terrible 'tradition' whoever started it, needs locking up - nothing funny about it at all
Snorkeldorf 3 years ago (edited)
Was invited to a friend's son's wedding. Groom did exactly that; smashed the cake into bride's face. She grabbed her eye and ran out of the reception hall into the bathroom crying, closely followed by her bridesmaids. The cake went in her eye and she wore contact lenses. She didn't come out of the bathroom for a long time. Nobody was sure she ever would.
#3
“Ball and chain” jokes. Why tf are you getting married then?
Francine Govan 3 years ago
A heavy iron ball with chain that's shackled to a prisoner's ankle so they can't get away - it's a sexist and outdated saying where husbands refer to their wives as the old ball and chain. It's not kind or appropriate. hope that helps!
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Seedy Vine 3 years ago (edited)
It not only demeans women but takes away their accomplishments. If I'm busting my @ss with household chores on top of my full-time job, I'm not a ball and chain. I'm a fŮcking superhero!
Purple Gurl 3 years ago
Read a story once that a soon to be groom was shackled with a ball and chain at his Bachelor Party on a Party Barge. Poor guy was knocked overboard and drowned because of the weight they couldn't remove
Troy Parr 3 years ago
Well, "A joke is a display of humour in which words are used within a specific and well-defined narrative structure to make people laugh and is usually not meant to be interpreted literally." Other definitions for Joke can also be found. It is also said that Joke comes from the Italian word "Joko" and that it's first recorded use was in the Diary of Samuel Pepys....
MimSorensson 3 years ago
Feel free to have it at your wedding, just be aware that many will find it unfunny and in rather poor taste. If you absolutely cannot handle the idea of having a spouse without feeling like you’ve been unjustly jailed, then nothing on this entire planet is forcing you - and everybody knows it. Unless you live in a culture where you *are* forced to marry under the threat of death aloe violence, but then that joke really, truly would be in worst possible taste. Joke on, just don’t expect others to find it funny.
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While there are couples who are certain in what they want to skip, others might think that they need to follow the usual wedding traditions because maybe they feel pressure from parents, friends or society in general, but Ivy will always advise them “to rethink traditions that don't match them as a couple. In fact, I'll encourage them to think of new wedding traditions they want to incorporate that match them as a couple.” Because there aren’t any rules and discovering an individual tradition might be more fun.
While considering which wedding traditions are worth following for them personally, Ivy's clients like to rethink “the father-daughter dance–they'll often think of incorporating their children (if they have kids already). Another tradition that clients rethink is whether they want to force the garter catcher and the bouquet catcher to dance together (many choose to forgo that altogether).”
#4
Garter retrieval horror. Especially if teeth are involved. Cringe af
Thegoodboi 3 years ago
I had to do this and I DID NOT want to. Bride and co. thought it'd be funny. I definitely was not comfortable going up my wife's dress head first while her father is shooting eye lasers into my soul..
T5n 3 years ago
Agreed. I wouldn’t be comfortable doing this either. On a side note, I saw your profile picture and now my brain is forcing me to picture a dog doing this to a human.
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Max 3 years ago
I find it darkly hilarious that the kind of people who call a chaste kiss between two people of the same gender 'disgustingly sexual' are happy to do this blatant kink stuff in front of their entire family, including toddler-aged children and grandma. Yes, it's kink. What else do you call having your friends take off your wife's undergarments in public?
Epona 3 years ago
What do you mean "your friends take of your wife's undergarments"? I know you are referring to the garter, but isn't the tradition to have the groom remove the garter, not the groom's friends? Did I misunderstand that? Did you mean "what else do you call watching your friend take off their (now) wife's undergarment in public?" or something else?
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Amber.exe (She/They) 3 years ago
What type of people think thats an ok thing to do,especially when family is watching.It's just icky
Philly Bob Squires 3 years ago
I took my wife's garter off with my hands and slingshot-ed it across the room. Great pic of me on my knees taking aim at nothing holding the garter rubberband-like with my wife cracking up in the background.
Nino Reisen 3 years ago
Is this something specifically American? I have never encountered it in Europe
#5
As I'm currently planning mine its simply the sheer cost and overcharging of anything wedding based.
Asked a venue for a quote for just the premises and was told £9000! Phoned back the next day and said it was for a birthday party and exactly the same thing came back as £4500!
Cuppa tea? 3 years ago
Try to book it for corporate event, it might be even cheaper.
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Dirk Daring 3 years ago (edited)
Birthday party: Manageable group of close friends and family having a bit of fun, dinner, a little dancing, presents opened, usually a modest bar bill. Wedding Reception: Huge crowd requires more staff, Open Bar, Best man and the bride's second cousin hooking up in the coat room, Uncle Fred puking in the potted plant, the groom's old college buddy Steve the Skeeve openly doing blow on the dance floor, etc.
JenniB 3 years ago
Pro tip, get married in the winter and everything is guaranteed half price. I got married many years ago in February mostly because I have been to so many uncomfortably hot spring/summer weddings. Worked well for me even in Canada as that February day ended up being 10 degrees Celsius and the whole wedding was half of what it would have been during "wedding season"...
Pizzagirl 91 3 years ago
We had a September wedding: beautiful autumn scenery, actual fresh air through the French windows of the venue, and I'm sure the pictures were better with less harsh light, too. Always the threat of rain, though.
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lauralett50 3 years ago
My uncle proposed on her birthday, got married on his birthday. I always send a card that says Happy birthaverasry!! lol.
Thomas E S Thomas 3 years ago
Here in the US a justice of the peace or judge can marry you for around $250.00 (that's about £120)
BOTW PANDA 3 years ago
Just have your wedding on your bday. Saves money, and you got married as your present!
BoredManda1 3 years ago
I used to arrange rentals.... Wedding parties are 10x more work and aggravation. Everyone in family thinks it's okay to drop in and impose. Never met so many entitled a------s EVER. Finally went to no weddings policy. Amen
#6
Just recently went to a wedding where the bride and groom were in their early 20s. This is in the U. S. and a progressive state. In the vows the bride said “The man is the head of the household. I will submit to my husband.”
Pretty cringe.
Patty Kate 3 years ago
My partner and I have decided we want to say "to love and respect"
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Sophie Dorothea Hill 3 years ago
To me personally, if the groom specifically requested that vow, that's a huge red flag.
Thegoodboi 3 years ago
OOF PLEASE STOP. You're supposed to be one! No submissions! Unless of course you choose to be and no one is telling you to be like some sort of slave.
Luke Branwen 3 years ago
Pretty sure it's the result of the "tradwife" mentality, which is very common in extremely religious and/or white supremacy groups.
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Kitty Jordan 3 years ago
Yeah, my grandfather is a preacher, and when I was engaged, I mentioned to my dad that I wouldn't mind my grandpa being the officiant, but I wasn't going to say that I was going to "obey" my husband. My dad said I should probably find another officiant then because he would have refused to do it without that part.
CalmAndCollected 3 years ago
From a Christian standpoint... Wives submit to their husbands AND husbands submit to their wives
Noyfb noyfb 3 years ago
This must happen in some imaginary, hypothetical “Christian” society. In real trad-marriages, the man (submitted to by the wifey), then submits in turn to the will of god. Sorry, but “submitting” to each other is flat-out illogical. It does not mean “consulting with,” “jointly deciding,” “collaborating with,” or anything else implying equality.
Load More Replies... Max 3 years ago
I was looking up ideas for my wedding a few months back, and I found something called a 'collaring ceremony'. My first thought that it was one of those things that are blatantly fetish things but everyone pretends they're not, like having the wife declare that she will submit to her husband, or the garter toss, and I was pleasantly surprised to find out it was a fully self-aware kink thing.
Jill Bussey 3 years ago
Not happening in my marriage. We have different skills, but they are not gender related.
Jordi Sharpe 3 years ago
"I will respect and value as I am respected and valued." There. I fixed it.
Alex Bruinekool 3 years ago
Pretty selfish way to think of it no? Where is the self sacrifice? "I will only do this is you do it back" no no no that's not how marriage works
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Bluebird11 3 years ago
If that's how they want to live, that's their business. But what's with the need to broadcast that to the universe? to me, it just screams of I'm-better-than-you attention whoring.
Celtic Pirate Queen 3 years ago
What every jackass (generally older white fat Trump supporters with guns) says is "Wives should submit unto their husbands" They never seem to remember the ENTIRE verse which states: Wives should submit unto their husbands as the head of the house as HUSBANDS submit unto Christ as the head of the Church". Sounds a little different now, don't it Billy Bob Joe?
Despite weddings being so personalized incorporating family traditions or starting new ones, they do have trends and even more so among people who organize the event themselves, “Weddings definitely have trends, especially in the DIY wedding landscape. I notice how they change by flipping through wedding portfolios by wedding planners and sites like Aisle Planner. But the easiest way to see how they change is by asking brides and grooms what they like when it comes to aesthetics, which is often influenced by pop culture (e.g. what you find on Instagram).”
The nature of a trend is that it doesn’t last too long and isn’t as impactful to become a real tradition that lasts through generations, but there is a trend that Ivy would like to see revived, “I'm not sure when the Cha Cha Slide became a natural wedding tradition, but I think it's one that is absolutely timeless and should never die.”
#7
When the groom goes up the bride’s skirt in front of all their family. It’s so extremely weird and out of place to me. Like why would you want to do that in front of your parents and grandparents? I really don’t get why that’s even a tradition.
Becky Klebe 3 years ago
Groom pulls the bride's garter down from under the dress for the garter toss
Load More Replies... Headless Roach 3 years ago
Any play to the couples sexuality is awkward af. It's the wedding party, so everyone's suddenly entitled to take a peek? When i think of this I see a drunk old uncle turned on at the look of it. Never had a traditional wedding nor a wedding party - no regrets.
Coolwhip 3 years ago
To each its own, but all the weddings I went to everybody was hype about it and not in a creepy way. The groom usually does a dance up to his bride, it's funny most of the time and everybody is just too excited about the newlyweds to think "this is awkward" and it's usually done quickly, but again...to each its own.
Miranda 3 years ago
Yes, I never witnessed a cringe moment when this was done, but I was also in the crowd hyping them up so idk lol. There was a video I saw when the guy was down there way too long...it became cringe then lol.
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Reinaldo Fuentes 3 years ago
It's a tradition for the same reason that Easter has fertility symbols and Christmas has symbols of rebirth. Both holidays used to belong to other religions and were VERY different celebrations. So too are weddings. They were once very different affairs.
DonS 3 years ago
Happened at my best friend wedding... the whole wedding was cringey as fûck. Religious wedding with the soon-to-be-wife swearing obediance to the "man of the household" (he's atheist but desperate), cringey prayers (I didn't participated in it and the minister or whatever was not happy, fûck him), cake in the face (you know those white cake that only taste like cake creaming), groom up the bride skirt and throwing the garter toward the best men that I caught while coming back from the bar with a drink and threw it on the ground (the garter, not the drink). i just saw a white thing coming toward me and my reflexes kicked in and caught it to protect my drink. Also awful DJ with cringey games, was not permitted some types of music so they had some Christians rock. Worst wedding I ever been.
#8
All the old people making comments about all the sex the couple is about to have.
InvincibleRodent 3 years ago
Regardless of whether they had had sex before, your family openly discussing your sex life and making jokes about it is always gonna be embarrassing for like 99% of people.
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David Phillips 3 years ago
(Almost) every single old person at your wedding has had far more sex than you (so far). Please let us be a little blasé about it. You're the ones being embarrassed, not us!
featherytoad 3 years ago
Didn't even have sex on our wedding night. It's not like sex was anything new to us.
#9
In my country it's the amount of people present in the wedding, there are weddings where they call like 500-1000 people, lot of them are family members and friends they have not met in years or decades. To provide food to these people many will go in debt. It makes me cringe so hard like why f*****g throw away your life savings like this? I believe court marriage is the best but if you still want invite people then 50-60 (close friends & family members are enough). I personally will just invite like 15-20 people I genuinely care about, take them to some nice resturant for dinner and be done with it.
Shyla Bouche 3 years ago
I'd have 6 human invitees, 3 of whom have a spouse, so that's nine humans and a cat.
Sheila Stamey 3 years ago
My son and his wife got married in the backyard, and it was absolutely beautiful, then the whole big a** family turned out, swapped the chairs and put tables out and had a barbeque, where all the old men of the family had grilled and made homemade pork barbecue, which is a big thing here. ( Shredded pork with a light vinegar, sugar and hot pepper flakes is our regional favorite, west of here the pork is sliced or shredded and a sweet sauce applied) the grandma's supplied all the sides, and one of the great uncles actually made the wedding cake! It was covered in sugared pansies, and fill with raspberry ganache. The happy couple saved the wedding money for their house. They're in their mid 20s. Only bad thing was, somebody accidentally tripped old handicapped me on the way to the eats and I fell, breaking my arm in two places. So embarrassing! But almost every nlaw was an emergency care person, I went to hospital and told the happy couple I would be right back . I did, and happy happy!
Daniel Atkins 3 years ago
what happened to refreshments and cake? When i was growing up that is what happened a most weddings I attended. When did it become a lavish meal and alcohol ordeal?
Raymond Smith 3 years ago
Me and my wife did the court house wedding $50. Her sister just had the “had to have it wedding” $60k. I don’t understand it.
David Phillips 3 years ago
Here in Mexico, it's traditional that the parents that invite most of the guests (since they're paying for it.) I don't particularly enjoy weddings, and being invited to the wedding of two people I don't know seems stupid - I don't enjoy it, and they get no pleasure from my being there, so why....?
Are there any wedding traditions that you would like to see making a come-back? Do you think the couple should consider what their guests would enjoy and not include things that might make them feel uncomfortable? Or would you say that as it’s the couple’s celebration, they can do whatever they want? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!
#10
Bettas (or any fish) used as centrepieces
Unnamed Hooman 3 years ago
I could bring my Betta, Toby, but I wouldn’t use him as a centrepiece.
Grace Note 3 years ago
I think if I saw this at a wedding I'd call the RSPCA and leave. It's just cruel.
#11
The jealous mother in law. They always do something to make me cringe. They wear a white dress, pretend to be the boss at the wedding, take a lot of the attention etc.
Lene 3 years ago
I was at a wedding where the bride's sister desperately fought to be the center of attraction. It was so weird. The bride already had a pretty tense relationship with the sister but it seems that the wedding made it so the bride told her parents that she does not wish to see her sister again. She simply had enough.
Emie N. 3 years ago
There are jealous father in laws too. I've seen plenty instances. It's not just mother in laws who have problems.
Cath Homer 3 years ago
Yes, but if they wear a white dress it's somehow more obvious 😆
Load More Replies... pebs 3 years ago
Given so many posts and comments on this topic, I wonder how common this behavior is by mothers-in-law in certain countries. I, in my country, have never seen the mother-in-law dressed in white trying to steal the show from the daughter-in-law etc., even when she is a terrible mother-in-law. Mah.
Nadhrah Chowdhury 3 years ago
At my cousin's wedding her husband's mother (Mother-in-law) told her that she can call her mom, but she told her son that he had to call his mother-in-law auntie, and she did a bunch of other things to make herself look superior to my cousins mom and even these little things are disgraces in desi culture.
ThreeAngryLlamas 3 years ago
I am already so dreading this, and we're not even engaged, yet. Her mother is a piece of work.
brightidiaz 3 years ago
Why do you say "US" like it's some bastion of progressive modernity? Do you watch their news lately?? 50s here we come!
#12
The trend of wanting the women in the wedding party to look alike, even to the point of asking them to change their hair color. Along with that goes giving specific directions as to what guests may wear.
bElLa sTairZz 3 years ago
some directions can be good, as long as its relatively vague. Such as asking for toned down colours or no white
Bex 3 years ago
My BFF got married about 6 years ago, and me and the 2 others in her bridal party are all VERY different body shapes and sizes. So she picked a color and told us all anything in that could would be great; didn't matter if it was long or short, sleeves or straps, dress or jumpsuit. It let us all wear something we were comfortable in, and show off our own unique styles, while still looking awesome together in the pictures and during the ceremony. Best BFF ever, lol
MarieL 3 years ago
Having the wedding party look alike is OK with me, but asking/telling your guests what colors they must wear is just rude and overbearing. Some guests may not have the extra $$$ to buy a completely new outfit to match your color scheme. Where did this trend come from anyway?! It didn't exist when I got married 30 years ago...
Prius Owner 3 years ago
Unfortunately the bridezilla virus is more contagious than the latest Covid-19 variant.
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Chickens are fluffy 3 years ago
I understand wanting them to wear the same dress, but be very understandable to some things.
Llama_flower93 3 years ago
If I could do my wedding again I would tell all my bridesmaids to go buy a red dress, one that you will wear again so the money is well spent.
Pizzagirl 91 3 years ago
Isn't this "trend" kind of old? I vaguely remember something about the girls dressing similarly to confuse bad spirits that try to attack the bride. But it's definitely not new.
Bored Trash Panda 3 years ago
I told my friends the color I wanted them to wear (navy blue), other then that they were free to pick the dress they wanted.
Book Worm Panda 3 years ago
Dye their hair! No. Personally I wouldn't mind if at my wedding my bridesmaids all wore similar or the same dresses. But I'm not gonna call out the guy who showed up in jeans. For goodness sakes!
Pumpkin Spice 3 years ago
If I get married, I'd ask the bridal party to wear light gray and mix-and match it with yellow. A dress, a vest, a jumpsuit, whatever. Color scheme is gray and yellow and that's it. I will be wearing a mustard yellow dress. Guests can wear whatever they want, but no yellow please.
#13
When the bride and groom are musicians. Get ready for an hour of a couple singing s***tty covers of overrated love songs to each other.
Theo Blackwood 3 years ago
Disagree. Went to friends wedding, both trad musicians. Bride composed her entrance music. Both families brought their instruments and performed at the end of the ceremony, ended up going slightly viral in the country.
Hobby Hopper 3 years ago
Ireland? I think that's the only music I've heard referred to as "trad".
Load More Replies... Becky Samuel 3 years ago
Try going to the wedding of people who are in an improv troupe. So bad and cringe.
Amy 3 years ago
We had karaoke at my wedding reception. It was amazing. So many people said it was the most fun they'd had at a wedding.
ί𝔫ＣίŦᵃт𝐔𝐬 3 years ago
I read that as having karate at your wedding. Also cool. I need to check my eyes today.
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Sergio Bicerra Descalzi 3 years ago
Can't agree with this one, but would expect fun songs like Cher and Bono "I Got U Babe"
Mel The Axolotl 3 years ago
Honestly, it's their day. It may be cringe in your eyes, but if they were enjoying it, that's really all that matters isn't it?
#14
When there are multiple unruly kids running around and/or screaming spoiling the first dance or any special moments for the couple.
Michael Largey 3 years ago
Yes, it's a "parents who should never have had children" problem.
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Dorothy Reiser 3 years ago
My son's wedding had tons of kids and they were great. It's the parents who are the issue.
My O My 3 years ago
Just a thought. I've heard of weddings where there was a babysitter there for the kids. You know, to keep an eye on them in the kiddie area so that the parents/guests could enjoy the party without having to have the kids in eyesight all the time.
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#15
When the bride or groom does something disrespectful like smashing their nose into the cake. Or writing "help me" on the bottom of the groom's shoes.
They say one in three marriages ends in divorce, guess this will be one of them.
#16
those women that try way too hard to catch the bouquet that the bride throws. some literally to the point of pushing others over. i feel embarrassed just watching them lol.
harpling 3 years ago
My little cousin caught my bouquet. He was six and quite proud of himself! My aunt told me later that he bragged about it to his baseball coach.
Narwhal Blast 3 years ago
I accidentally caught the bouquet at the last wedding I attended. The other girls in front of me jumped and pushed to catch it, while I stood behind them and the bouquet just landed in my hands. I was there because I promised the bride to be there, but not to actually put in any effort towards this. Needless to say, the other girls were upset and one of them even started crying...
AK to LV 3 years ago
At one wedding, they had all the married women go to the dance floor. They had people married under 10 years leave the floor first, then under 20 years leave, until the woman who has been married the longest was still on the floor and she got the bouquet. I though it was a nice idea.
StrangeOne 3 years ago
Especially pushing kids down and stepping on them. It's not funny but seems to always make in the Funniest Home Videos shows.
Dorothy Reiser 3 years ago
Why not take apart the bouquet and give a piece to each bridesmaid? Better yet, why do we even have bridesmaids?
Lisa H 3 years ago
I was at a wedding once where it was the opposite. None of us wanted to catch the bouquet, but the bride wanted the tradition nonetheless (she wasn't a bridezilla or anything). When she tossed it, all of us just kind of leaned away from the trajectory of the bouquet and it landed in the trash! Even the bride thought it was funny, but she still made us do it again and actually try, so we did. It was still hilarious!
#17
Here in the middle east the cringe part is definitely the fireworks
What I mean by fireworks is our special fireworks the AK-47 to the air kinda stuff countless lives were lost because of falling bullets many laws were put to stop it yet in every wedding you have this monkey that pulls the weapon and just starts spraying bullets everywhere
Thegoodboi 3 years ago
Wait till you come to a wedding around here and we have target practice during the wedding 🤦♂️
#18
The guests who have no respect for the people working on there. I work as a waiter on all kind of weddings and I've met a lot of people that treated me and my coworkers like trash just because we are doing our job. A few weeks ago I saw how some of the guests stole a special plate of jamón specially made for the bride and groom, and when a coworker tried to take the plate back, the guy who stole it threatened to sue him.
#19
Ohhhhhh boy do I have a f*****g LIST. Where to begin?
1. Writing your vows in such a way that you essentially air your dirty laundry in front of everyone, almost to the point of admitting that you constantly fight.
2. Garter toss - this is disgusting and awkward as f**k
3. Overly drunk groomsmen/bridesmaids. Especially if it’s during the ceremony.
4. Overly drunk groom/bride
5. If it’s clear the groom/bride had sex in the middle of the reception.
6. Any jokes about a man’s life being over bc he’s married now.
7. Oversharing during speeches.
8. Grinding on the dance floor.
Justin Jones 3 years ago
"...and I know we fight constantly - and there was that one time when I caught you with Cindy.... and Bob - but I love you with all of my heart!!!!"
harpling 3 years ago
"And can't wait to see you on our honeymoon, Cindy and Bob!"
Load More Replies... lauralett50 3 years ago
#5 as long as the sex is the bride and groom, that's not unusual. If they are with someone else ,then you have a problem.
#20
The obsession of everything being “perfect”
The cost of everything.
But my biggest cringe moment is the blatantly obvious grabs for cash from the couple.
Bridal showers,
Bachelor and bachelorette parties,
Gifts at the wedding,
Wishing wells,
Dollar dances,
“Kidnapping” the bride for a ransom,
The Gift registry,
The Honeymoon registry,
I’ve even been invited to a “pre wedding BBQ” which was potluck and they sold tickets to it and gifts were expected. When I asked the bride what the deal was she said she was trying to figure out who would give them the most expensive gifts so she could invite them to the wedding. It was gross.
Monika 3 years ago
WTF IS THE "KIDNAPPING" OF THE BRIDE???? I LIVE IN THE USA AND I'VE NEVER HEARD OF THAY BEFORE 😭
Jihana 3 years ago
European thing. I think it's dumb. The groomsmen kidnap the bride and hide her somewhere and the groom has to find her. So you essentially pay a lot of money for a party and then you miss quite a lot of it. Btw the ransom does not have to be money, could be a few bottles of beer or something.
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EP 3 years ago (edited)
Well, considering the cost of everything. EVERYTHING HAS TO BE PERFECT! lol Imagine paying $100,000 for a wedding and not expecting perfection. Issue is really… the ridiculous cost for one day which when going lavish means sacrificing the actual intention of the day, celebrating the love.
Kitty Jordan 3 years ago
The way they used to be done, I don't think they were. But now they've turned into three-day (or more!) events, often at destinations and the bridesmaids/groomsmen are expected to buy drinks and chip in to pay for the groom/bride the entire time. It's incredibly tasteless, to my thinking. Maybe I'm old, but it used to be, "Hey, bridesmaids hit a few bars, then have a party at the house" for ONE night...
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Debby Keir 3 years ago
This seems to be a US problem. We have hen and stag parties a few weeks before - they can be as mild as a meal out together, or a weekend away (those with money may have longer and in a different country) but other than the wedding present, no other gifts. Only ever known one particular wedding where an expensive present was demanded. I bought a quilt cover from their registry and it cost £200, some 20 years ago.
#21
When the priest takes weird tangents to evangelize for 20 minutes -.-
Strings 3 years ago
As an officiant, I refuse to do this. When I did my first ceremony, I actually had it scripted "now I'm supposed to drone on about morals, and taking care of each-other, and all that. But you already KNOW this stuff, so we'll skip that part"
An Unpopular Opinion. 3 years ago
The priest did this at a family members funeral (I didn't know her, was emotional support for the people I did) and I'm Christian and all, and his teaching was sound, and I get it kinda, because she had lost family members there and it is probably what she would have wanted but it was... uncomfortable. And not the place for a 15 minute sermon
Snorkeldorf 3 years ago (edited)
Best wedding ceremony I ever attended was that of a close friend. Young priest officiated the ceremony. One of the guests read the Bible verse beginning with "Love is always patient and kind." It continues from there. When the reading was done the young priest stepped back up to the altar. I'm paraphrasing but he basically said Love is always patient and kind.....that is a beautiful sentiment. The verse is filled with lots of heartfelt things. But, we all know those things aren't always true....(Lots of soft chuckles and smiles among the guests).... There are disagreements, times you will be frustrated with each other. I'm sure you two have experienced that while you were dating. The statements in that verse aren't the RULES, they are goals and things to strive for but don't be overly critical of the bumps in the road. Communicate and work on your marriage. I loved it and thought of it often when I got married.
Chich 3 years ago
This was my tipping point for giving up on religion. Friends were getting married and it was a simple civil ceremony. There was a family friend who was a cleric of some type who had their nose out of joint about it so they allowed him to say grace at the meal. 15 or 20 minute sermon delivered,
DonS 3 years ago
Yep. Went to ONE religious wedding and it was, by far, the worst one. The officiant knew about a bunch of atheists on the groom's side (was against our presence in the church) and went on a 10-15 minutes tangent directed directly at us. The 3 civil wedding were awesome! 1 at a normal sugar shack with ceremony in a little clearing in the forest, another at a fancy sugar shack with ceremony in a clearing in the forest in autumn with the trees in color and another a sheepfold (don't know the word for bergerie) with a Celtic twist.
Suck it Trebek 3 years ago
I once was a bridesmaid for my friends wedding. She was religious I'm an atheist. She had her preacher uncle from the bible belt be the officiant. I was ready for a heavily religious ceremony and figured I'd just kinda zone out. But I was in no way shape or form prepared for the part of the ceremony where he insisted that a marriage couldn't survive without a strong belief in christ. And then proceeded to tell the story where he was invited to the wedding of two atheist. I can't recall if they were family or what. But he went on to say most people get china for newlyweds, I got them a package of cheap paper plates, handed the plates to the and said that their marriage was as strong and would last as long as the plates without the love of christ in their lives. It took every milliliter of reserve not to walk out of the church right then and there.
#22
Any wedding where the bridesmaids and groomsmen have been ordered to perform a choreographed dance at any point during the festivities whether that's dancing up the aisle or a full on dance number during the reception.
Ripley 3 years ago
I dunno - I saw a vid of a wedding party doing the Thriller dance on YouTube (or something) once - it was awesome.
BlackestDawn 3 years ago
The way I read it is that the usage of "ordered" implies that it's somewhat against their will, and thus they won't have much will and/or enthusiasm for it. On the other hand being asked and genuinely agree to it will have a much higher level of enthusiasm, and in either case the performance will reflect this.
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AnonymousApple 3 years ago
I officiated a wedding where the bride and groom did a choreographed dance after the vows and it was the cutest damn thing. Everyone loved it.
DonS 3 years ago
Had to do the "dancing up the aisle" thing with a rehersal before hand (cringe alert). The bridemaids and I did our own thing on wedding day and my best friend and his bride loved it. Imagine a little dance but with Mr. Bean's faces all along. The bride's family (deeply religious, traditional and too much involved in the planning) was not amused but the groom and bride loved it and that is the important.
Nadhrah Chowdhury 3 years ago
Desi weddings are crazy!! Everyone wears sooo much makeup and theres is a disco floor and this giant balltoom with glittering everything and bollywood music booming from the speakers and the weddings last from lunch - morning and there are dances that cousins and friends and couples do!
#23
Disney themed anything
Lisa H 3 years ago
If it's subtle, sure, like maybe a Mickey and Minnie cake topper might be cute if the couple is into Disney. But my opinion is to keep it simple. Not trying to bash on Disney fans, this is just my own opinion.
An Unpopular Opinion. 3 years ago
I was gonna comment that because Tangled is the BEST / PRETTIEST love story ever and nothing can change my mind. Like.., even just lanterns I'd be SO happy with at the end. Not sure about a full theme but Lanterns for sure. (Gosh, I'm like, 16 and some comments on this thread are making me wanna be in love more than I already did)
Load More Replies... AnonymousApple 3 years ago
Let people like what they like. It's their wedding. Even if it makes you cringe, if it makes them happy, I fail to see an issue. People have all kinds of themed weddings.
Suck it Trebek 3 years ago
You know what, if the couple are really into Disney then f**k your critics. Your wedding, you get to pick the theme. The point is to have a wedding that speaks to who the couple is.
Ches Yamada 3 years ago
Oh my god, Tiana! Her bouquet has a lilypad on it and she has a frog prince pin on her dress. So pretty.
pebs 3 years ago
Fortunately in my country this is not at all common (probabbly zero). And I hope it will never be.
#24
The oneupmanship, and having the most Instagramable wedding
#25
The bride being "given away" by a male relative. I get that we have whitewashed it and some people may not realise it, but the whole concept is not chivalrous at all. Its about the patriarch of the family literally giving the chattel he owns to another man. Literally a property exchange. Not romantic in the slightest.
Lakota Wolf 3 years ago (edited)
I understand that we should not forget history, and traditions are rooted in history, but they EVOLVE with us as human beings, and they evolve with changes in our cultures. Saying that "giving the bride away" equates to the historical patriarchal practice of "men own their daughters/female relatives" - we might as well axe Christmas too, since it is based on pagan rituals/holidays, etc. Things change. We change as human beings. "Giving away the bride" now (in most countries) is just that - a dad/close male relative symbolically being present for the bride in her wedding, supporting her, and showing his love for her.
Wolfe 3 years ago
I want my dad to give me away, because I trust him and I want him to approve of whoever I marry. I see it as he trusts my husband-to-be not to harm me in any way and to support me for the rest of my life, just as my father did
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Dregvic 3 years ago
I disagree with this one. That may have been the original meaning, but we've evolved. To me and I think many other brides, the 'giving away' of the bride is the trust and love passed from the bride's family to the husband. It's saying that we trust you and we're passing her happiness and future into your hands. I think it's a beautiful sentiment. Ultimately do what makes you feel comfortable. But I think it's lovely.
Michael Largey 3 years ago
Maybe the groom should also be given away by his mother. What about same-sex weddings? I think it would be great if all the parents involved came down the aisle to show their support.
Natalie 3 years ago
I don't know if my husband's mother would have given him up...
Load More Replies... BirFromHH 3 years ago
The lutheran way is: the couple entering the church together, because they both want it. Sadly with the influx of "romantic" ideas in cinema, more and more couples start with this strange idea of "the groom has to wait anxiously while the bride's father hast the job to bring her"
Debby Keir 3 years ago
I (70F) gave my youngest away - doesn't have to be a male, nor any nod to the patriarchy.
TheEndIsNigh🇨🇦and🇬🇧in🇺🇲 3 years ago
Idk, I still kind of wish my father was alive to " give me away" if I ever choose to get married (why was "murdered" the first thing intuitive typing suggested??😳) I get that the tradition doesn't have the greatest history, but it's meaning has certainly evolved. For me, my dad was my best friend, so in my mind it would signify that he trusted my most wonderful partner with me. It sounds a little corny because I can take care of myself and I am not a possession, but at the same time it's also a little bit sweet. I hope I explained that ok.
#26
When people write their own vows but they don’t actually promise anything. They just ramble for a few minutes about how much they love the other and how perfect they are. Like the whole point of wedding vows is to make commitments.
Shelby Moonheart 3 years ago
It is a binding vow. Commitments are a part of that vow and legal contract. If not, why get married?
Potato 3 years ago
"Binding vow" makes me think of binding spells, and now I have another thing to add to my wedding planning.
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Courtney Christelle 3 years ago
My cousin's wife at their wedding, "I know you're going to hog the covers, I've accepted that but you need to be there to kill the spiders that get into the house cause you know I can't." Their vows were so honest, I cried. Only wedding I've ever cried at.
An Unpopular Opinion. 3 years ago
And also- marriage and vows are NOT contracts. Idk where I saw this but someone said marriage is NOT 50/50. It causes problems. It's 100/100, you both give all.
Chich 3 years ago
And no pastor ever rambled on annoying anyone? Its one of the few opportunites for payback :P
Load More Replies... AnonymousApple 3 years ago
This is kind of a weird gripe. Isn't the wedding itself a promise? The entire ceremony pretty heavily implies promises of various kinds. Why shouldn't the vows be used to tell your spouse how much you love them?
Suck it Trebek 3 years ago
I'd argue that people who take issue with this are paying too close attention to the technical term as opposed to listening to the couple express their love and true feelings for each other. Oddly enough even though it's their wedding the vow portion is the on part where they actually get to speak. If they want to use that time to express what the other person means to them instead of rambling on about vows that are cliches and a given, love, honor, cherish or trying to be funny, I will always let you have control of the remote, hardy har-har, I'm all for it.
#27
Having a wedding for the sake of getting married. I had a friend from high school who got pregnant at like 20/21. The only reason she had a wedding with baby daddy is because she was pregnant. I knew that the marriage wouldn't last. It didn't but she is happily married to her second husband and has been for a few years.
Jordi Sharpe 3 years ago
That term was appropriated by normies from ammosexuals. Have some decency, so that they can stick their d***s down the barrel of their beloved.
Load More Replies... Sergio Bicerra Descalzi 3 years ago
Heard a story from Reddit, a guy worked at a venue and the bride thanked him after the wedding and said "I will have my next one here, definetly" She didn't wanted to marry, she married for the attention. As far as I recall, was her 5th wedding.
An Unpopular Opinion. 3 years ago
I get the point, but the first sentence started me off very confused like.., that's the point of a wedding XD
#28
I went to a wedding the other night where each member of the wedding party had their own theme song like at a baseball game, as they walked down the aisle. The bride walked down the aisle to another one bites the dust.
An Unpopular Opinion. 3 years ago
*blinks* huh. That's... something I've never heard before... huh..
#29
So. Many. Ed. Sheeran. Songs.
Janice Bontrager 3 years ago
What’s wrong with ed Sheeran songs? I love ed Sheeran songs! ❤️💕❤️💕
Robin Roper 3 years ago
Ed Sheeran songs are mostly very lovely love songs. Why would one not have love songs at a wedding?
An Unpopular Opinion. 3 years ago
I mean, I would put some suggestions out their but my music is uhhh-
An Unpopular Opinion. 3 years ago
Well, I mean it's not ALL like that, I do love myself a good song I can at the top of my lungs hope someone will love me like that like.. 'wishing on dandelions all of the time, praying to God that one day you'll be mine'
Load More Replies... Doug the Special one 3 years ago
Shoot me now. No I take that back as Americans would take that literally.
#30
That part when a priest asks if anyone knows a reason for those two not to marry and everyone pretends they didn’t hear the question.
Strings 3 years ago
I DO put this part in, but phrased slightly differently: "if anyone has any reason that X and Y should not be married, please stand so they have a clear shot at you"
DamnBecky 3 years ago
Meh, Im okay with this. its a holdover (in the Christian church) at least to do one final verification that someone didnt have a family 2 towns over or people were too closely related. It was seen as protecting the couple from fraud. Also its worth noting, that in some branches of the church still, even if you make a joke that you have an objection the priest is not allowed to proceed and finalize the marriage for 24hrs. As an acolyte I saw this happen once, brother of the groom thought it would be funny to stand up then sit back down. But the priest had to call off the WHOLE ceremony due to diocesan law.
Pizzagirl 91 3 years ago
It's the same when you "joke" about not wanting to marry or not marrying out of your own volition in front of an officiant, at least here in Germany.
Load More Replies... Thegoodboi 3 years ago
I've always wanted to do this but then my tiny smart side tells me to sit the f**k down.
Michael Largey 3 years ago (edited)
When there are good reasons why two people shouldn't get married, you usually don't need to announce them. The guests are precisely the people who already know all too well. Look for the eye rolling
BluEyedSeoulite 3 years ago
My cousin's(male) MIL didn't want the wedding to happen. She wore a black dress and everything. On our side, we didn't like the bride (she still isn't liked 20years later) so it was REALLY noticeable when this part was left out
StrangeOne 3 years ago (edited)
My take is everyone's looking around awkwardly to see who would dare. The cringe is when everyone gasps when someone speaks up. Doesn't mean the couple can't get married just cos of one naysayer, and usually the negative nancy goes on a tirade then escorted out. So no need for the dramatic "Huuuu??"
Richard Keel 3 years ago
The more-correct wording is to ask if there is no legal impediment to them marrying - ie Is one or other of them already married to someone else?
Elisabeth Breckenridge 3 years ago
This is for legal reasons only. From back before marriage records were online - in case the person was already married and pretending they weren't. That sort of thing.
#31
When they make the person announce everyone in the wedding party as they walk into the hotel banquet room like it’s a Las Vegas boxing match. “ oh you’re the 8th best man. Great, great”.
TheEndIsNigh🇨🇦and🇬🇧in🇺🇲 3 years ago
I went to a wedding where they had fun with it, and really did announce each person like a Vegas fight "Heeeeere comes Meghan the Marvelous Maid of Honor! Meghan has known the bride since the second grade, where they met at math camp. Meghan says she named her dog Moby after the whale & not 'that old guy who used to dj in the 00s', and she challenges anyone to a break dance fight." Ya know, cheesy but fun.🧀😁
Llama_flower93 3 years ago
I like this because then it kind of shows the guests who it is that's so important to the bride and groom.
#32
Guests who take pictures of the ceremony with a f*****g iPad.
Dan Holden 3 years ago
Unless taking photos isn't allowed, who cares what they use to take them?
Becky Klebe 3 years ago
Someone using an iPad to get that "perfect shot" is quite likely blocking another person's view of the ceremony or worse, blocking an actual professional photographer from doing the job they were hired to do.
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emowankinemo 3 years ago
I shamed my Mum for doing this and she said it's because her eyes are so bad she can't see using her phone. So maybe it's not really hurting anyone...
AnonymousApple 3 years ago
It always drives me nuts when the couple hires a professional photographer and then as the bride walks down the aisle you've got the entire crowd holding up their phones to snap pics. Put them down, enjoy the goddamn moment, and let the photographer do their job.
David Phillips 3 years ago
I attended a wedding once where they took endless VIDEO of motionless groups of people posing as if for a photo.
#33
Too many bride's maids, why do they do that?
madbakes 3 years ago
If a woman wants to be surrounded all day by her best girls, what's the problem?
Becky Samuel 3 years ago
When each of these "girls" is expected to shell out hundreds or even into the thousands of dollars to participate. That's the problem. By the time you've paid out for the bridal shower (gifts, outfit, hair, child care, accommodation, travel), hen night (same list), wedding dinner rehearsal, engagement party, and then the wedding itself it's a long way from cheap. None of this is necessary, but a lot of social pressure is put on you to buy into this cráp just because it's "her special day". Special day I can cope with, but special six months of expensive nonsense with added guilt trips I can live without thanks.
Load More Replies... bElLa sTairZz 3 years ago
it can be hard to choose between your close friend, they most likely do this to ensure that nobody is hurt by their decisions
Emie N. 3 years ago
Why make it seem like it's only the brides fault? They usually walk down with men on their arms so what if its a guy with too many groomsmen?
Becky Samuel 3 years ago
Groomsman tend to comes in a "lot" cheaper than bridesmaid, and men don't tend to come under the same pressure to lose weight or to wear horrible, unflattering clothing etc.
Load More Replies... AnonymousApple 3 years ago
I'm sure in some cases it's to prevent hard feelings. I've never had a burning urge to be a bridesmaid, but I can think of at least one wedding where my feelings were hurt to not at least be asked. The bride should do what she wants regardless; I'm just saying, sparing feelings is, I'm sure, a consideration for some people.
#34
Well not an American custom but an Indian one where after the wedding there is a custom called 'vidaai' meaning separation for some sort in this bride and her goddamn whole family cries because she is leaving I'm like then why are you marrying anyway when y'll just wanna cry about it.
Lakota Wolf 3 years ago
I feel like OP is missing the emotional, symbolic aspect of this one. I would not dare to presume about OP's emotional maturity, but this particular post seems like immature complaining about something they "don't get" and don't WANT to try to understand.
Robin Roper 3 years ago
I believe the PO is Indian and is very much part of this culture. They don't like this custom and for them, it makes no sense. It a holdover from this patriarchal society/culture where the bride was literally leaving her family forever - the bride completely became a part of the grooms family so her family was saying goodbye forever. Having seen this ceremony which can be quite formal in it's happening, I think it's more of an emotional release.
Load More Replies... BluEyedSeoulite 3 years ago
In Korean tradition, the bride would cry on her wedding day and it was considered "good" Weddings were arranged, the couples had never met, the groom would literally BUY the bride before the ceremony. And the bride probably WOULDN'T see her family again, depending on how far away the groom lived. She would be removed from her parents family registry and put on her husband's. Korea also has a reputation for evil MIL since your future was tied to your father, then husband, and finally son. Didn't want anyone to get in the way. The only way they could divorce is if the husband sent them back to their family because they didn't have sons. The saddest part of all of this is that Korea isn't really an exception. This mindset and treatment was pretty common around the world
Hey! 3 years ago
Yes, because she's going to live with her husband's family... LOL.
Load More Replies... David Phillips 3 years ago
Just a thought, for those of you that can, check the Indian/Sikh wedding scene near the end of the film "Bend it Like Beckham", where the bride is told to "stop smiling!, because she's not supposed to be happy. Nobody gives it any deeper meaning (and it's not an arranged marriage).
#35
Always thought the big lavish wedding thing was dumb and kinda cringe Then I had a lavish romantic wedding for me and my husband I instantly understood
Happy Blue Panda 3 years ago
The way it's phrased it can be taken two ways. She used to think big huge weddings were cringe but after having her own she understood why people do it. The second understanding could be that she thought huge weddings were cringe and after having her own she understood why they were cringe but that wouldn't make much sense though.
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What do you think ?
Gavin Johnson 3 years ago
Ran weddings for nearly 5 years, well over 350 came and went. Saw some car crashes, saw some beautiful ones, saw way too many expensive ones. The bottom line for any wedding is that it is the couples day, let them do it the way THEY want to. Don’t wreck their day, behave, don’t get so drunk you can’t stand up.
Jack S 3 years ago
When the best man does his speech and he decides he's gonna lament about the time he was married and how when his wife cheated on him he decided to go travelling but couldn't afford it so he got a loan for £10000 blah blah blah blah. Then, he starts telling the guests how he thought the new wife was well fit and that he met her before but because he was married at the time he gave her up to someone less fortunate... No? Just me? Ah well turned out the were f*****g the whole time we were engaged... Thank god we didn't have kids lol.
Hey! 3 years ago
Woah. I'm guessing (and sincerely hoping) you're no longer together. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
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GirlFriday 3 years ago
Any wedding invitation that I get that dictates what guests must wear, I immediately toss. If you want me there to celebrate your love, I am all for it, but when I have to spend money to match the other guests so your photos are Instagramabale, you can forget it.
censorshipsucks 3 years ago
in africa we do traditional dress at weddings which is fun.
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Fabian Bernard 3 years ago
Wedding are generaly boring. My SO and I are planning to getting married in the next years, and in fact we are just planning anything except trying to make things spontaneous and make the under numéro 40 guests having a fun and nice day, simple and not too long. Probably just vows and papers at the townhall, a few drinks and a little buffet by the countryside and that's all. We have a timelife to say and most important prove our love and faithfulness, and having times with friends and family. No everlasting 10 am 4 am wedding where everybody spend most of the time waiting, driving, ending up drunk and tired and everyone spending indecent amounts of money
The Blinking Duck 3 years ago
I found most of these bitchy and judgmental. If they didn't ask you to pay for it, who cares?
StrangeOne 3 years ago
The stupid tradition of getting the bride and groom to kiss by clinking glasses all night does it for me.
Gavin Johnson 3 years ago
Ran weddings for nearly 5 years, well over 350 came and went. Saw some car crashes, saw some beautiful ones, saw way too many expensive ones. The bottom line for any wedding is that it is the couples day, let them do it the way THEY want to. Don’t wreck their day, behave, don’t get so drunk you can’t stand up.
Jack S 3 years ago
When the best man does his speech and he decides he's gonna lament about the time he was married and how when his wife cheated on him he decided to go travelling but couldn't afford it so he got a loan for £10000 blah blah blah blah. Then, he starts telling the guests how he thought the new wife was well fit and that he met her before but because he was married at the time he gave her up to someone less fortunate... No? Just me? Ah well turned out the were f*****g the whole time we were engaged... Thank god we didn't have kids lol.
Hey! 3 years ago
Woah. I'm guessing (and sincerely hoping) you're no longer together. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Load More Replies... GirlFriday 3 years ago
Any wedding invitation that I get that dictates what guests must wear, I immediately toss. If you want me there to celebrate your love, I am all for it, but when I have to spend money to match the other guests so your photos are Instagramabale, you can forget it.
censorshipsucks 3 years ago
in africa we do traditional dress at weddings which is fun.
Load More Replies... Fabian Bernard 3 years ago
Wedding are generaly boring. My SO and I are planning to getting married in the next years, and in fact we are just planning anything except trying to make things spontaneous and make the under numéro 40 guests having a fun and nice day, simple and not too long. Probably just vows and papers at the townhall, a few drinks and a little buffet by the countryside and that's all. We have a timelife to say and most important prove our love and faithfulness, and having times with friends and family. No everlasting 10 am 4 am wedding where everybody spend most of the time waiting, driving, ending up drunk and tired and everyone spending indecent amounts of money
The Blinking Duck 3 years ago
I found most of these bitchy and judgmental. If they didn't ask you to pay for it, who cares?
StrangeOne 3 years ago
The stupid tradition of getting the bride and groom to kiss by clinking glasses all night does it for me.
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