As you grow up, you start to notice that there are little things one can do to make everyone’s life easier. More often than not, these aren’t exactly laws and regulations, just emotional intelligence and life experience all rolled into one.
Someone asked “What's an 'unwritten rule' of life that everyone should know about?” and netizens shared their best examples. So get comfortable as you read through, upvote your favorites, and share your own examples in the comments below. And if you want to see some other examples, check out our other article on unwritten rules of life.
This post may include affiliate links.
When your roommate, partner, spouse, child, etc. just got home and is still taking off their shoes, putting their keys away, etc....do NOT greet them with a "to-do" request or some sort of reminder. It's a universally s****y feeling to be greeted by that.
If you want to listen to something in public, use f*****g headphones.
Don't be a jerk to retail workers.
As a retail worker I can't endorse this enough. It. Is. Not. Our. Fault. That. The. Item. That. YOU. Want. Is. Out. Of. Stock.
And. learn. the. dang. App. for. digital. coupons. before. you. get. to. the. registers
Load More Replies...
No one is higher or lower than anyone else. We're working together, playing our roles in our jobs, and they are all important in some way.
I work in a convenience store. 90% is low. We get treated worse than grocery store workers. (I've worked at grocery stores for 15 years.) Only slightly treated better than Walmart staff.
Load More Replies...
Or restaurant workers! Signed a previous waitress who is still sick of your s**t decades later.
Sometimes you have to be a bit of a jerk if you have a disability, just to be treated as a human being. People treat me like I'm a toddler, talk about me over my head, shove my chair aside as if I'm a shopping cart, or ask wildly personal questions. If retail workers do that, I put my foot down and WILL see their manager about it.▪️▪️▪️ Just last month we were shopping for a wall mount for our TV, and the shop clerk asks out of the blue: "So you're in a wheelchair, how's your health?". I told him that medical questions are for the doctor, not for complete strangers, and talked to his manager about equal treatment.▪️▪️▪️ If it's inappropriate towards someone without a disability, it's inappropriate towards someone WITH a disability. That's what equal treatment is about, nothing more, nothing less.
And using "please" and "thank you" goes a long way to help you and the retail worker, or any service employee, have a better day.
It goes both ways. If I hand cash to the clerk, I expect change handed back to me, not dropped on the counter and expecting me to pick it up.
It is certainly more convenient to place the change on the customer's hand. Most clerks do this with me. On the other hand, I'm able to pick up the change myself (such as if the clerk wasn't supposed to touch me because of cultural/religious/disability/health issues). If I was blind or had another disability, I would speak up and explain that I need help.
Load More Replies...
I was a jerk to a cashier who was merely doing her job because I had a hair across my butt. I was half-way home, turned the car around, went back, stood in her line, and apologized profusely as I handed her a gift card to the local coffee shop that I had in my wallet. She actually teared up because most of us a-holes don't apologize.
Wish I could upvote this way more. I've never worked in retail, but I've had friends who did. I always try to be extra nice to store personnel and even thank the garbage workers whenever possible. These jobs tend to be difficult, unrewarding, and unpleasant. Even a decent smile can be nice to share if the line's too long or conditions are otherwise unsuitable for safety's sake.
Never am. We never know what is going on in peoples' lives. Be courteous and kind to everyone you meet is my rule.
A simple rule allowing retail workers to slap one customer per week would REALLY help.
Please also try and teach retail people courtesy through your words
“Read the room” is probably one of the best bits of advice for anyone anywhere. It applies to everything from creative work to managing one’s relationships. Because knowing things is just half the battle, people need to know when and where to actually vocalize them.
Interestingly, the entire concept of “read the room” originated not with life advice, but with robbery. A good thief needed to identify marks, risks, and opportunities, so they would “read” the room they were in. It’s only relatively recently that people have switched over to using this idea in the context of emotional intelligence. Perhaps it’s for the best.
If you're walking in a group, don't take up the whole goddamn sidewalk/hallway/tunnel/railroad tracks/trail/path.
Saying thank you, please or sorry when needed. There is nothing wrong in being polite.
Showing kindness is a sign of strength. Especially in those who don't 'have' to.
This is just as true in the workplace as well. After all, unless you are pretty close with your coworkers, most folks don’t want to hear about your baby or your family drama on a Monday morning. Indeed, given the amount of time we spend at work, it might be a better place to really internalize “read the room” and pay attention to these unwritten rules.
Your lack of preparation does not equal someone else’s emergency.
My dad's favorite Navy quote was similar..."A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine"
I don’t remember who said this or where I heard it, but I always liked the quote, “if someone tells you that you made them feel a certain way, you don’t get to decide that you didn’t.”
This one is huge. Don't get defensive. Apologize. Even if your intention was not to make someone feel bad or whatever--apologize anyway and then figure out how to do better. I appreciate being called out because it is how I learn to be a better person. But you have to take ego out of it, and that isn't always easy to do.
You having a bad day doesn't mean that you have to ruin other people's day.
Despite the fact that these are “unwritten” rules, the good people of the internet have put a lot of work into assembling these ideas, tips, tricks, and life lessons. So if you are interested in reading more, Bored Panda has got you covered, check out our other article on things that everyone should know.
Always leave a place a little better than you found it 🌱✨. Whether it's cleaning up after yourself at a friend's place, picking up litter during a walk, or just offering a kind word to someone in need, these small acts of kindness and respect make a huge difference. It's about adding value to the world in tiny, manageable ways. 🌍❤️
I do so, especially in shops. Retail worker’s work should be respected. :-)
You can't argue with stupid.
One of my favourite sayings is "Never argue with an idiot. People may not know the difference."
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that." George Carlin
Secure your own oxygen mask before helping others.
Seriously. Take this bit of advice and carry it whatever you go through. You can be the most empathetic, helpful, caring person, but even if that's your one goal, by neglecting yourself you won't be the best you can be for others. Sort out mess in your own life, don't carry loads you can't, and everything else will be so much simpler.
You'll never be thanked the way you want to be thanked. Your reward is the good you do, not the praise you get from it.
Putting the grocery cart back costs you nothing.
In fact in most european countries you get the coin back that you have to insert first
Treat others how you want to be treated. It's simple, universal, and fosters respect and empathy in all interactions.
Except if you're a masochist. Then treat others the opposite of the way you want to be treated.
Most opinions can be kept to yourself.
If someone takes the time and goes to the expense of sending you a gift for your graduation, wedding, baby shower, etc., have the common decency to acknowledge it and send a thank you note, email, text, or phone call.
You can do everything right and still not win, sometimes that's just life.
If a toddler gives you a toy phone, you reply. If a little girl gives you an empty toy cup of tea, you pretend to drink. If a little boy shoots you with a toy gun, you pretend to be hurt.
What if a little boy gives you a cup of tea, and a little girl shoots you with a toy gun?
If you wouldn’t take advice from someone, don’t take criticism from them either.
I would take this advice with a grain of salt. Anyone can have an insight about our behavior that can actually be helpful. If we are behaving/responding/treating someone poorly, or our behavior is in some way destructive, and it is suggested by someone that we consider this - well, consider it. They may be right. Too many of us get very self-centred and selfish at times without realising it; it may be good to get feedback.
You remember far more embarrassing moments about yourself than your environment remembers about you.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them!!
If someone tells you something that
- is private
- isn't illegal, immoral, or otherwise putting anyone's life or finances or property at risk
then keep it the f**k to yourself unless prompted otherwise by that person.
I'm very good at keeping secrets because I always forget them a few days after they are told to me...
Character is what you do/who you are when no one is watching.
Don’t waste time trying to convince people to care about you. They will or they won’t.
I don't understand the downvotes? Here. Have an upvote. Your comment is valid!
Not every bad person is going to suffer or have some karma happen to them.
Sad but true. A lot of terrible people have great lives.
As a dog owner I would like to see more people ask if its okay to pet the dog, not just go for it. Children are usually good at asking first, but way to many adults just go for it. My dog is not yours to just pet. Ask first. And deal with the answer sometimes will be no.
Definitely. I always ask an owner first if it's ok to approach their dog. Otherwise you also run the risk of getting tooth holes in your hand, and it would be your fault.
Think of your future self not as your current state/mindset but as someone else you have to protect and provide for because that's who they are.
You don't know what they want differently than you do now, what has happened to them, their health, their tragedies, their triumphs, the lessons you haven't had yet, the changes you don't know you have to make, what feelings you have now that they don't... So make sure you're setting them up with the best intentions at heart. They are relying on you for stability & safety, and are watching you thru the memories you're creating now.
Never screw with someone’s lunch break. Most people hate their jobs, and that half hour to an hour they get to be on their own and enjoy their food and/or just time alone is sometimes the only peace and enjoyment they get for 8+ hours.
If you see someone eating in their car, park or walk somewhere else away from them so you don’t disturb them, if they’re in the office by themself, wait until they’re done to talk to them, if it’s close to the normal lunch hours (between 12-2PM), anything you need from that person can wait until after they get back from their lunch. Never. F**k. With. Lunch.
Your actions speak louder than your words.
Learning to 'read the room' is one of the most important, and probably underrated, social skills to have in your locker.
If you're leading a conversation and the other person/people start to look away, act slightly distracted, or interject with different topics, take the hint and change the subject.
Not everyone is as interested as you are in your favourite topics. It doesn't mean you're boring (necessarily), but this isn't the right audience for whatever you're talking about right now.
I'm consistently blown away by the number of grown adults, even in their 30s or 40s, who haven't learned this yet and just yammer on obliviously.
Kindness will be the most valuable item you can use as currency. Without it, you lose long term value with everything we touch.
Examples of a person who invested with kindness?
Mister Rogers
He earned the respect and dignity of the world.
Think before you speak.
"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln
Try where possible to live for yourself and not for other’s expectations of you.
Ive always put this rule directly under the golden one.
NEVER OVERSTAY YOUR WELCOME.
Self-awareness is a superpower, to be able to pat your own back and call yourself on your c**p is priceless.
Self deprecating humor is also a priceless quality. Being able to acknowledge and laugh at your own faults and foibles breaks down many barriers.
Chew t with your mouth closed. And don't talk with food in your mouth.
Your mental map of how things work is wrong in many ways.
Respect the atmosphere of the room you walk into. If it's quiet, you will be quiet. If it's louder, you can be loud.
I love this one! As a doula I lived by this. I would follow my client's lead. Sometimes I had laboring clients that would want a quiet room, they would whisper or barely talk. So, I was quiet, would whisper and only talk when necessary. Occasionally I'd have loud clients--like the one who wanted to play Friend's Trivia while she was in labor. It was a pretty boisterous room. But one time, I was with a client where it was a very subdued labor. Quiet music, hushed voices, room really dark except for a few battery operated candles. And their L&D nurse kept walking into the room practically shouting, telling jokes, and trying to be cute about everything. I'm like, "read the room!" My clients hated her.
Most of our learning comes about through making painful mistakes.
Life isn't fair.
But that doesn't mean we should make it less fair, or use apathy when it comes to improving fairness
If your wife says she doesn't need presents you still buy her presents.
Or you could just take her at her word and not act like you know better than her what she wants.
You are not the main character. Your actions affect everyone around you as well.
Mood and feelings are like the weather. "I've found that it's of some help to think of one's moods and feelings about the world as being similar to weather. Here are some obvious things about the weather: It’s real. You can't change it by wishing it away. If it's dark and rainy it really is dark and rainy and you can't alter it. It might be dark and rainy for two weeks in a row. But. It will be sunny one day. In the same way that one has to accept the weather, so one has to accept how one feels about life sometimes. "Today's a c**p day," is a perfectly realistic approach. It's all about finding a kind of mental umbrella. "Hey-ho, it's raining inside: it isn’t my fault and there's nothing I can do about it, but sit it out. But the sun may well come out tomorrow and when it does, I shall take full advantage."
But if you live in England you shouldn't get your hopes up too high
Relationships (romantic, familial, friendly, work) are compromise. If you're not willing to help the world around you, don't be surprised when the world doesn't help you in return.
Well, this isn't true. Many extremely UNhelpful people still get lots of help, unfortunately.
Note: this post originally had 76 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.
somewhere as a child I heard a slightly different and much stronger version: "The most unforgivable of all sins - is to try to ease your own hurt - by hurting someone else."
HAVING POWER IS NEVER PERMISSION NOR SUPERIORITY. Whether it's males towards women, whites towards Black people, adults towards children, car drivers towards cyclists, the wealthy and the poor, or any other situation, your position NEVER gives you the authority to abuse or take advantage of others.
Another one that should be obvious: equal treatment means equal treatment. If it's rude, demeaning, or just weird towards someone without a disability, it's the same towards someone WITH a disability. ▪️▪️▪️If someone with a disability needs help, they'll be the first one to tell you. Otherwise: please don't nanny over people. We live with our disability 24/7 and know what we're about. We've learned all sorts of tips and tricks to function independently, and if we can't do something we've learned to ask. ▪️▪️▪️I've had people quietly stalk me all the way through a supermarket for 10 minutes. It doesn't matter if it was meant well, it matters if it was appropriate. Would it have been appropriate towards someone without a disability....?
What if you just notice they're struggling? (Honest question.) I was about to leave high school one day (or go to another class), and there was the group of friends leaving a classroom. Our classes had automatic closing doors, but not opening, and their friend with a missing leg didn't have his prosthetic on that day, using crutches instead. I saw he was really struggling to open the door, so I opened it for him with a friendly smile. He mumbled a thanks and caught up to his buddies quickly after that. That door in particular was always a pain to open though, even without any missing limbs. Did I step out of line by accident do you think?
Load More Replies...
By the time this list reached me, there was no place to add anything new, so I’ll just leave these here, in the general comments: • With people you see a lot of, you don’t have to do that irritating thing very often for it to become a “you always”; • DON’T ENGAGE SOMEONE WHO’S READING unless it’s objectively important. On the bus, in coffee shops, even libraries: there’s always someone who seems to think I’m reading because I don’t have someone interesting to talk to. (In fact, I have trouble recovering from interruptions, & when someone breaks my concentration just to flap jaw, I may not be able to pick up where I left off for some time.) • Other people aren’t in your head. Make your (reasonable) needs & expectations known as succinctly as possible, since they also don’t have all day to listen your explanations. • By the same tokin’, don’t interrupt—but also state your piece as efficiently as possible, then let someone else have the floor.
The book "488 rules for life" by comedian Kitty Flannigan has better rules for life than most of these. Read it. Learn the rules. Then break them.
My favorite is, "if you can't live with yourself, then, you can't expect other to live with you." And "treat others how you wish to be treated" they sort of run together
For you dog owners/walkers- a pinch collar does exactly what is sounds like it does. It pinches a dog's neck EVERY TIME the dog moves. For those of you using it as a collar, how would you like to be corrected every time you move? Pinch Collars can be good -IF they are used correctly, which is to train or correct. Using them on an everyday basis is cruel.- Former Military Dog Trainer
somewhere as a child I heard a slightly different and much stronger version: "The most unforgivable of all sins - is to try to ease your own hurt - by hurting someone else."
HAVING POWER IS NEVER PERMISSION NOR SUPERIORITY. Whether it's males towards women, whites towards Black people, adults towards children, car drivers towards cyclists, the wealthy and the poor, or any other situation, your position NEVER gives you the authority to abuse or take advantage of others.
Another one that should be obvious: equal treatment means equal treatment. If it's rude, demeaning, or just weird towards someone without a disability, it's the same towards someone WITH a disability. ▪️▪️▪️If someone with a disability needs help, they'll be the first one to tell you. Otherwise: please don't nanny over people. We live with our disability 24/7 and know what we're about. We've learned all sorts of tips and tricks to function independently, and if we can't do something we've learned to ask. ▪️▪️▪️I've had people quietly stalk me all the way through a supermarket for 10 minutes. It doesn't matter if it was meant well, it matters if it was appropriate. Would it have been appropriate towards someone without a disability....?
What if you just notice they're struggling? (Honest question.) I was about to leave high school one day (or go to another class), and there was the group of friends leaving a classroom. Our classes had automatic closing doors, but not opening, and their friend with a missing leg didn't have his prosthetic on that day, using crutches instead. I saw he was really struggling to open the door, so I opened it for him with a friendly smile. He mumbled a thanks and caught up to his buddies quickly after that. That door in particular was always a pain to open though, even without any missing limbs. Did I step out of line by accident do you think?
Load More Replies... By the time this list reached me, there was no place to add anything new, so I’ll just leave these here, in the general comments: • With people you see a lot of, you don’t have to do that irritating thing very often for it to become a “you always”; • DON’T ENGAGE SOMEONE WHO’S READING unless it’s objectively important. On the bus, in coffee shops, even libraries: there’s always someone who seems to think I’m reading because I don’t have someone interesting to talk to. (In fact, I have trouble recovering from interruptions, & when someone breaks my concentration just to flap jaw, I may not be able to pick up where I left off for some time.) • Other people aren’t in your head. Make your (reasonable) needs & expectations known as succinctly as possible, since they also don’t have all day to listen your explanations. • By the same tokin’, don’t interrupt—but also state your piece as efficiently as possible, then let someone else have the floor.
The book "488 rules for life" by comedian Kitty Flannigan has better rules for life than most of these. Read it. Learn the rules. Then break them.
My favorite is, "if you can't live with yourself, then, you can't expect other to live with you." And "treat others how you wish to be treated" they sort of run together
For you dog owners/walkers- a pinch collar does exactly what is sounds like it does. It pinches a dog's neck EVERY TIME the dog moves. For those of you using it as a collar, how would you like to be corrected every time you move? Pinch Collars can be good -IF they are used correctly, which is to train or correct. Using them on an everyday basis is cruel.- Former Military Dog Trainer
