Sometimes we need a little pick me up when life has dealt us a difficult hand, and inspiring quotes are a great way to do that. They are so uplifting they sound like they came straight from your parent's mouth, 'you're special' or 'you can do anything if you put your mind to it,' and let's not forget 'when life gives you lemons make lemonade,' and all the other happy-go-lucky bullcrap of motivational quotes. Well for all the realists out there who are tired of too much sugar in their lemonade, the uninspirational quotes account is back with more funnyinspiring quotes.

Be forewarned these short quotes are not here to make you feel like a special unique snowflake, they are here to remind you that if at first, you don't succeed, you should probably give up and that staying in bed is always the best decision for all the sad people. Scroll down for a healthy serving of sugar-free, sarcastic and hilarious helping of quotes!

#1

At Least In Bed Nothing Can Go Wrong

unspirational Report

Daria B
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, technically, at a certain point it turns into "too early", so...

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#2

Friendly Reminder

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Hans
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It takes many muscles to blur a "U" so that it looks like a U formed with nine pixels only.

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#3

Shrug

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Marta Puig
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

it's worse because you feel that you cannot relate with the quote, so as a result you feel like a loser but elevated to one million argg omg how I hate the "inspirational" quotes. It's good to say fuck, shit, fuck fuck fuck when you feel bad, it's better to throw papers all around and let the anger loose, much more relaxing than trying to fit in Yesterday I was so pissed off that I kicked a bunch of empty boxes and I felt much better afterwards.

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#9

Learn From The Past

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DeusCurrentMachina O.
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Gandhi liked to sleep naked with very young girls. Not saying he molested anyone, but what kind of person likes to lay to sleep with underage naked girls? There's something to think about there, right?

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#15

Weekends Are For Over-Eating

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Danish Dynomummy
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Great, then I wont have to worry about the dishes for a couple of days!

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#17

Just Don’t Do It

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#18

So So So Fucking Jealous

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Night Owl
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same with cats and I'm jealous of my cat (she has no Idea what's going on and can almost do whatever she wants whenever she wants to and is loved and cared for)

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#19

Lesson Of The Day

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cashmeremanufacturer.com
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Look into the deep heart, everyone is terrible in some way~

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#20

Life Goals From

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diane a
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Its called being stinking rich

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#24

It’s Nice To Have Time Alone

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#25

This Is All A Losing Game

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Marta Puig
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

no in this lifetime, maybe when I reincarnate as Ghandi

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#26

Everything Ends Badly!!!

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BusLady
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, like those extra spicy tamales I just ate.

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#27

Every. Damn. Night

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BusLady
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Leading cause of insomnia...

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#28

Have Fun With That!

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Shiba Inu
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

mother trucker, dude! that regret hurt like a buttcheek on a stick!

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#29

This Is The Only Way Many Of Us Are Ever Going To Find Happiness

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Magdalina777
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's actually not a bad idea at all if you look at it closer. For them to never find out, you'd have to try to be on their level, striving up rather than falling down. It is a lot healthier in a way to fall for someone "better" than you so you try to improve yourself to their level instead of the other way round.

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#33

Please. Please. Please.

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Night Owl
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, no one gives a damn. Unless someone asks, keep it to yourself.

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#35

The Night Is Young! Get To Complainin’!!!

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Marta Puig
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

complaining my third hobby after sleeping and crying

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#36

And Tonight I’m Going To Eat My Friends

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Magpie
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok now science gets weird. Glucose ( sugar) solution gives babies in pain, pain relief. There is something in chocolate that helps depressed brains lighten up a little.

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#37

Try It Sometime!!!

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Daria B
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You say best... (you say beeeeeest) when you say nothin' at all ♬♪

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#38

It's Never Too Late To Give Up!

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#39

Sundays Are For Staying In Bed

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Hard 2 Guess
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Amateurs. I have charging cable reaching up to my bed. Battery is not running out on me. Not while I am in bed.

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#43

Have A Great Weekend!!!

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Anne
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So do what makes you happy.. you know.. with all those things you always said you would do when you knew you were dying. Because you are dying. We all are :)

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#45

Happy 4th Of July!!!

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Bonnie Blue Bird
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

True, so much of life people waste behind their phones taking picture for likes rather than enjoying the experience.

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#47

How About Trying This New Method!????

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Jaguarundi
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Other people actually have valid opinions and differing points of view?!? OH THE HORROR!

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#49

Please Keep It Down Until At Least Tomorrow

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Dorka
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband before his first 2 coffee every single morning.

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#50

Totally How I Feel Today

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Marta Puig
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

coffee coffee coffee, I cannot even muster a thought without it

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#51

Almost Every Day

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cashmeremanufacturer.com
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG, I love sleeping, I hate phone calls and endless jobs~

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#52

Always Plan Ahead

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Jaguarundi
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also ensure that it can't be made into a horrible, scarring, nickname in grade school.

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#53

Sundaysssssssss

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DC
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's a beautiful day outside. Birds are singing, flowers are blooming. On days like these, kids like you... Should shut the f*ck up and read some bored panda.

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#54

You Think You’re Good At Sex But You’re Probably Not

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Octavia Hansen
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you make love to a virgin . . . they have NOTHING to compare you to . . .

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#55

Hate To Break It To Ya 😛😛😛

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BusLady
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No one cares about your stupid rudeness. 😋

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#57

Yes. This Is About You

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BusLady
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's when you say "Well, you're not the one wearing it, then."

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