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Sometimes we need a little pick me up when life has dealt us a difficult hand, and inspiring quotes are a great way to do that. They are so uplifting they sound like they came straight from your parent's mouth, 'you're special' or 'you can do anything if you put your mind to it,' and let's not forget 'when life gives you lemons make lemonade,' and all the other happy-go-lucky bullcrap of motivational quotes. Well for all the realists out there who are tired of too much sugar in their lemonade, the uninspirational quotes account is back with more funnyinspiring quotes.

Be forewarned these short quotes are not here to make you feel like a special unique snowflake, they are here to remind you that if at first, you don't succeed, you should probably give up and that staying in bed is always the best decision for all the sad people. Scroll down for a healthy serving of sugar-free, sarcastic and hilarious helping of quotes!

#1

At Least In Bed Nothing Can Go Wrong

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Daria B
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, technically, at a certain point it turns into "too early", so...

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#2

Friendly Reminder

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Hans
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It takes many muscles to blur a "U" so that it looks like a U formed with nine pixels only.

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#3

Shrug

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Marta Puig
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

it's worse because you feel that you cannot relate with the quote, so as a result you feel like a loser but elevated to one million argg omg how I hate the "inspirational" quotes. It's good to say f**k, s**t, f**k f**k f**k when you feel bad, it's better to throw papers all around and let the anger loose, much more relaxing than trying to fit in Yesterday I was so pissed off that I kicked a bunch of empty boxes and I felt much better afterwards.

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#9

Learn From The Past

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DeusCurrentMachina O.
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Gandhi liked to sleep naked with very young girls. Not saying he molested anyone, but what kind of person likes to lay to sleep with underage naked girls? There's something to think about there, right?

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#15

Weekends Are For Over-Eating

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Danish Dynomummy
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Great, then I wont have to worry about the dishes for a couple of days!

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#18

So So So Fucking Jealous

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Night Owl
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5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same with cats and I'm jealous of my cat (she has no Idea what's going on and can almost do whatever she wants whenever she wants to and is loved and cared for)

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#28

Have Fun With That!

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Shiba Inu
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

mother trucker, dude! that regret hurt like a buttcheek on a stick!

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#29

This Is The Only Way Many Of Us Are Ever Going To Find Happiness

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Magdalina777
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's actually not a bad idea at all if you look at it closer. For them to never find out, you'd have to try to be on their level, striving up rather than falling down. It is a lot healthier in a way to fall for someone "better" than you so you try to improve yourself to their level instead of the other way round.

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#33

Please. Please. Please.

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Night Owl
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, no one gives a damn. Unless someone asks, keep it to yourself.

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#36

And Tonight I’m Going To Eat My Friends

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Magpie
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok now science gets weird. Glucose ( sugar) solution gives babies in pain, pain relief. There is something in chocolate that helps depressed brains lighten up a little.

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#37

Try It Sometime!!!

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Daria B
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5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You say best... (you say beeeeeest) when you say nothin' at all ♬♪

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#39

Sundays Are For Staying In Bed

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Hard 2 Guess
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Amateurs. I have charging cable reaching up to my bed. Battery is not running out on me. Not while I am in bed.

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#43

Have A Great Weekend!!!

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Anne
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So do what makes you happy.. you know.. with all those things you always said you would do when you knew you were dying. Because you are dying. We all are :)

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#45

Happy 4th Of July!!!

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Bonnie Blue Bird
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

True, so much of life people waste behind their phones taking picture for likes rather than enjoying the experience.

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#47

How About Trying This New Method!????

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Jaguarundi
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Other people actually have valid opinions and differing points of view?!? OH THE HORROR!

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#49

Please Keep It Down Until At Least Tomorrow

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Dorka
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband before his first 2 coffee every single morning.

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#52

Always Plan Ahead

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Jaguarundi
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also ensure that it can't be made into a horrible, scarring, nickname in grade school.

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#53

Sundaysssssssss

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DC
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's a beautiful day outside. Birds are singing, flowers are blooming. On days like these, kids like you... Should shut the f*ck up and read some bored panda.

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#54

You Think You’re Good At Sex But You’re Probably Not

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#57

Yes. This Is About You

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BusLady
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's when you say "Well, you're not the one wearing it, then."

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#58

Literally. Nothing. Matters.

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karen snyder
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hey, Guys... There are 60 other messages of hate, anger, self loathing, loneliness, apathy and despair. This is entertainment, not life coaching.

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#60

Too Real? (

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Freya the Wanderer
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Valentine's Day is hard on two kinds of people: Those who are in a committed relationship, and those who aren't. Valentine's Day sucks.

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