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The FBI has nothing on a woman with a crush and a stable internet connection that does it all in the name of “research.” A late-night deep dive that starts with his Instagram and somehow ends, three hours later, by unearthing his mom’s birth certificate.
An online prompt bravely asked women to confess the most "unhinged stalking" they've ever done for a man, and the responses are a schooling in digital detective work. From creating fake profiles to sewing trackers into their clothes, these stories are a hilarious and deeply relatable look at what happens when curiosity gets the better of us.
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#1
Once I met a guy, we had a date planned and I forgot his name. Found his graduation online and watched 3 hours worth of graduating to find his name😂
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#2
I recreated his house in sims 4 with excruciating level of detail. I deleted it the next day because i got scared of myself
#3
he said he was in maccies after a night out and i didn’t believe him so i called the store and said my son was missing and described him to the worker
It's easy to laugh at these stories of digital sleuthing as harmless, modern courtship rituals. A late-night scroll through an ex's new girlfriend's tagged photos feels like a private, victimless crime. But as the Netflix documentary "Can I Tell You a Secret?" chillingly reminds us, the line between online curiosity and terrifying harassment is razor-thin.
The series details the actions of Matthew Hardy, a serial cyberstalker who created fake profiles to infiltrate the lives of women, spread damaging lies, and isolate them from their friends and family.
While the "unhinged" confessions in this thread are mostly about private obsession, the documentary serves as a warning about what happens when that obsession turns outward. Hardy’s actions, which started with simple online snooping, escalated into a pattern of behavior that destroyed his victims' sense of safety.
#4
We lived together so I checked their clothing for hairs I didn’t recognize. Found a specific color of pet hair, found a girl w the same color pet on his IG that he recently followed. 🙇🏻♀️
Rika 2 months ago
I thought checking for unrecognized hairs was a movie trope, I had hopes no one was insane enough to do it in real life. But now, we're checking for pet hairs too ? WTF is a "specific color of pet hair" anyway ? I ended up with white hairs on my clothes from my black lab because I've never met a dog that was 100% one color. Also, me petting a dog doesn't mean I'm f*cking the owner, ya know.
#5
I had a dream about his phone password. Tried it when I woke up and it worked LOL
#6
Well he lied about his name and said he didn’t know his dad so I found his mothers birth certificate and his grandmas immigration documents online and I found his dad for him and then found his siblings and his real name for him too x
Ever felt like your brain has been completely hijacked by a crush, turning you into a one-person detective agency? There's a word for that: limerence. Coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov in the 1970s, limerence is not just a simple crush; it's a state of intense, all-consuming, and often involuntary infatuation.
It’s characterized by intrusive thoughts about the person, a desperate craving for reciprocation, and a tendency to see them as a flawless, perfect human being. Limerence is the engine that powers these "unhinged" deep dives.
It's the mental hamster wheel that has you replaying a five-second interaction for hours, analyzing the punctuation in a text message, and convincing yourself that finding their childhood home on Google Maps is a perfectly normal thing to do. It’s a temporary form of madness that can make the most rational person feel like they need to know everything, right now.
#7
Walked into his house cus I know he kept the back door open and walked straight into his room to see if he was really sleeping then just walked out.
#9
Saw a cute guy on hinge. Only knew his first name. On one of his photos he had on a shirt with name of a running marathon. I went through the participants list of the past couple of years, and found him omg.
So, when does "unhinged" digital sleuthing cross the line into actual, illegal stalking? According to the Department of Justice, the legal definition isn't about a single act, but a pattern. The key is that it’s repeated, unwanted contact that creates a climate of fear, and it doesn't have to include an explicit threat.
So, while your 3 AM deep dive into his ex-girlfriend’s vacation photos from 2017 isn't a crime, the moment you start using that information to interact with someone who doesn't want to be contacted, you're entering dangerous territory. The law focuses on the impact on the victim. If your actions, taken as a whole, would make a reasonable person feel unsafe, harassed, or scared, you have crossed the line.
#10
Found out he was Speaking to other girls and so I found the girls instagram and followed them and became friends with them so that they would confess what he was doing 😂
#11
made an excel spreadsheet of his ig following so whenever he followed or unfollowed someone I could log it 😝
#12
We used to go to the same restaurant every Monday so after we split I started dating the guy who owned it just so I could check the restaurant cameras on his phone when he slept to make sure my ex wasn’t going there with anyone else
The statistics on stalking are genuinely shocking and show just how serious this behavior is. According to a fact sheet from the Stalking Prevention, Awareness, & Resource Center (SPARC), an estimated 1 in 6 women and 1 in 17 men in the U.S. have experienced stalking at some point in their lives.
The vast majority of victims are stalked by someone they know, with nearly two-thirds of female victims being stalked by a current or former intimate partner. The most common stalking tactics are exactly what you'd expect in the digital age: unwanted phone calls, voice messages, text messages, and emails.
However, stalking often escalates to more overt behaviors, like showing up at a person's home or work, spreading rumors, and leaving unwanted gifts. The data proves this is not a rare or trivial issue; it's a widespread form of maltreatment with serious consequences.
#13
checked all of the receipts in his wallet to see if there was any suspicious activity
#14
cut a hole in his work bag put in a tracker and sew it up so I can see where he was going everyday and when he got home I had to cut open the bag just to charge it the sew it back up again 🤣🤣🤣
Wang Zhuang 2 months ago
Honestly, why go through this? If you don't trust him, just leave him! Why would you want to remain in a relationship with someone you have to constantly track like this?
#15
he didn't answer his phone for hours and I went to his house and climbed through the window to see if he was cheating.
Rika 2 months ago
I often "don't answer my phone for hours" because I have a personal life. I promise you that if anyone climbs through my window, they'll take a broomstick to the face and they can whine to the cops I just called. Anyone who tries to get in my home without my permission is legally an intruder and will be treated as such.
The journey from a harmless crush to harassment often starts small and hinges on one crucial factor: reciprocity. As the University of Wisconsin's Health Services explains, initial interest is a normal part of modern dating. It becomes a problem when those advances are ignored or rejected, and the person continues to push. One friend request is fine; five fake account requests maybe not...
Many of the crazy stories shared online exist in a gray area of private obsession. The crucial difference between these funny stories and criminal harassment is the boundary of unwanted contact. The moment the sleuthing is used to repeatedly interact with someone who has made it clear the attention is unwelcome, it stops being a quirky story for a thread and starts being a pattern of harassment.
Have you ever found yourself on the deep end of a stalking rabbit hole? Tell us about the lengths you have gone to in the comments!
#16
Instead of stalking I just straight up messaged his ex and asked everything that happened between them in detail xxxx
#18
Kept a notebook of all the information I learned from asking his close friends all while being friends with them as well as him (this was middle school)
Lee Gilliland 2 months ago
I don't think middle school should count, you're not mature yet. Everybody does stuff like this then, I knew the class schedules of a bunch of guys I had crushes on.
#19
i spent 10£ on a website online to try find his address so I could send him a present for his birthday after we went no contact…..
Howl's sleeping castle 2 months ago (edited)
Maybe this kind of behaviour made him go no contact
#20
he posted a picture of his window facing the front yard and I found his house by narrowing down the intersection he mentioned and the appearance of his front yard.
BeesEelsAndPups 1 month ago
I mean it's weird, and I wouldn't do this. But I also lack curiosity about people's homes.
#21
Lowkey bought something from his depop under a fake name so I could know what he smelt like 😭😭😭😭
#22
turned up to his house like a year or two later with no reason whatsoever, just sat outside and watched 😭😭😭
#23
One time I suspected he was cheating on me, so I put on a wig, wore baggy clothes, and went to follow him 💀💀
#24
Not a man, but I found his new gf's LinkedIn and saw she worked at Pizza Hut so I went through all the Google reviews for every single Pizza Hut in our city until I found one location where the reviews mentioned the name of a man she followed on Instagram so I assumed that was the location she worked at. Then I visited that location so I could see what she looks like in real life 😭
#25
stalked his ex so hard i hard a dream about her and now im worried about her and feel deep sadness every time i think about her (never met or spoke to the woman in my life)
#26
Found out which girl he was dating based off a countertop that was in the back of a photo 😔
#27
I took his Apple Watch, guessed his password and hid it from him for months, even had to buy a charger for it, can literally see everything on his phone.
#28
Looking at his letterboxd and the acc of the girl i suspected and seeing what films they had clearly watched together😭😂
#29
He blocked my Spotify so I made another acc w my name again (don’t care) and go through his albums so I can read every lyric of every new song to see if it relates to me (it’s been three years..)
#30
Went through his phone while he was asleep, went to his ig, and blocked every girl he was following that was pretty 😂
What do you think ?
Andy 2 months ago
"these stories are a hilarious and deeply relatable". Nope, and if they are that's pretty f*cked up. Most of these are not little harmless things, they are actual stalking behaviour. If men were talking about how they broke into an ex's apartment because they knew where they kept was, put trackers in their girlfriend's clothes or had gone through their phone to block any other men, people would quite rightly be disgusted
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 months ago
I agree. I'm female and I HATE when I hear stories like this and the women are proud of what they've done. I especially loathe it when people reply "YASS QUEEN" and "YOU GO GIRL" etc. It's absolutely disgusting behavior by any gender of person.
Load More Replies...
Trillian 2 months ago
I am torn between "those women need therapy" and "these women need to be slapped with a restraining order". WTF.
Con O Cuinn 2 months ago
If any of my female friends or relatives told me a bloke did any of these things, I'd tell them to go to the cops.
Andy 2 months ago
"these stories are a hilarious and deeply relatable". Nope, and if they are that's pretty f*cked up. Most of these are not little harmless things, they are actual stalking behaviour. If men were talking about how they broke into an ex's apartment because they knew where they kept was, put trackers in their girlfriend's clothes or had gone through their phone to block any other men, people would quite rightly be disgusted
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 months ago
I agree. I'm female and I HATE when I hear stories like this and the women are proud of what they've done. I especially loathe it when people reply "YASS QUEEN" and "YOU GO GIRL" etc. It's absolutely disgusting behavior by any gender of person.
Load More Replies... Trillian 2 months ago
I am torn between "those women need therapy" and "these women need to be slapped with a restraining order". WTF.
Con O Cuinn 2 months ago
If any of my female friends or relatives told me a bloke did any of these things, I'd tell them to go to the cops.
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