35 Experiences That Mess Up People More Than They Notice

I still weep over my cats who've died many years after they crossed rainbow bridge. Lola, Ming, Miranda and Merlin. All buried in my garden with snowdrops around which are currently in full flower.

It fkn breaks you >.<

I've lost 2 cats and 10 crested geckos over the past 5 years, including Paul who is the gecko in my profile picture. Each loss had a great impact on my life, especially the loss of Paul. I think we get more attached to pets as they generally require more attention but want to be with you, regardless of their age, whereas children want to do their own thing once they get older.

When my first cat died, I was far away from home (college, exams) and never really had the time to process it...

I lost 2 cats last year and I'm incredibly depressed.

Managed various departments at a big box store for over a decade. Micromanaged to the point of a mental breakdown. Quit there about 8 years ago. I have nightmares of the place at least once a week. Don't stay in a toxic job as I did. I'm on disability now and that was 90% of it. Panic attacks that cause seizures sometimes and depression

Yes, this. People also distance themselves if you are the target, like it won't happen to them. VERY stressful to have toxic management.

I'm convinced that my mom's boss is ultimately at fault for her mental health decline into paranoid delusions. They we so horrible to her and she didn't quit because she knew she was too old to ever be able to get another job. She hung on until retirement, but by then it was too late.

Same

Once you have experienced financial hardship it never leaves you, Just six years ago I was managing on a budget of £5 a day and had been for several years. Thanks to an unexpected windfall and a change in circumstances I am in a much better place financially but I squirrel money away now. I'm reluctant to spend in case I run out of money again. There mere thought of making a big purchase gives me chest pains.

My family and I are living in one room at an extended stay hotel. We work hard every day but are no where close to moving into a home or apartment. I don't know when we will be able to... this June will be year we have been fighting to get out of there.... we don't over spend... life just keeps kicking us!

There's so much humiliation that goes with it. I will never forget the men from mom's church taking us grocery shopping and trying to convince us to buy things that were totally foreign to us, like steak. Their hearts were in a good place, but it was so horrible at the same time.

Worse when people tell you to "cheer up", "snap out of it" or "pull yourself together". If only it were that easy. Or they say stuff like, "there are people far worse off than you, you know" or "what have YOU got to be depressed about?"

If you try to open up about anything you feel, you'll be shut down as if nothing you say matters. Then people will proceed to tell you about all of their issues.

I told my therapist that I'm just so exhausted when I get home. He told me that it is exausting pretending to be OK while out interacting with other people trying to hide how I really feel.

I was always the kid who was bullied, ridiculed and put down for being smart and socially inept. I simply didn't know what I did wrong. Went on like this for 50 years. Now at 55 it turns out I'm a very highly functional Autistic. Quite severe form of autism, but somehow it wasn't diagnosed, because of high intelligence covering it up. It severely impacted my life. And caused me to break last summer. Now I finally get treatment on how to deal with it. There's no cure, and treatment (for adults) is focused on how to handle everyday's life. The symptoms of the autism are sometimes the same as other mental issues, but require a totally different approach, as Autistic people think on a totally different way. Compare it with computers: "normal" men run on Android women on IOS, but people with Autism run on Linux

Weird thing is, people who have been diagnosed are telling me not to get diagnosed because of all the limitations they have to deal with and the stigma. But the thing is, I deal with that on a much more frustrating level, because I'm not diagnosed, I can only guess what it is, and people think there's either something very wrong with me, or just think I'm being difficult to deal with, and it's all something I can "just fix" by changing my lifestyle. There's no "Oh, you're fine, and nothing is wrong with you." Except from my mom, who doesn't believe in mental disabilities. Whereas, if you tell someone "Oh, I'm diagnosed with ADHD and Dyscalculia" people generally be like "Ah, that explains it."

Yes! I was diagmosed about a year ago, before that I had no idea what was going on. I was misdiagnosed with something I never actually had 21 years ago.

Yup. Worse for me, the very people who knew what I was experiencing hid the family health history from me. Now Dad wonders why I keep my distance from him. I refuse to be close to someone who I know I cannot trust to be authentic with me. I pray for him and have boundaries, neither of which God prohibits.

I am 76 and am just learning about aphantasia and SDAM (severely deficient autobiographical memory). Just wow! other people actually have a minds-eye! And they have the ability to bring up biographical memories.

Or worse imo, was being raised by parents who conspired between them to keep a diagnosis secret 🤷🏻‍♀️. Parents both medical practioners who were able to keep the dx 'quiet'. Properly screwed up my sibling and I that little nugget of family history...

I would argue that it’s just as bad being raised by parents who do have diagnosed mental illnesses and actively hide their struggles from their children. My dad did this and got worse after my parents divorced.

Babysat by my bipolar grandmother. She was a nightmare. My mom still has trauma over her abuse. I got the "spent" version of her, but it was a real rollercoaster at times.

100%. The last time I was jobless it lasted for YEARS. I sent out hundreds, if not thousands of resumes and job applications. Finally a friend got me a crappy part-time job, and the trajectory has gone upward ever since. It sure left its mark, though.

Imagine being an actor! The number of rejections per auditions is VERY hefty and can really undermine one's confidence. But, when (or even if) you ever get 'used' to the rejection it is one of the most freeing experiences one can have in the pursuit of ones professional aspirations. I have been a working actor since I was in the 2nd grade and my family supported me right up until I graduated high school and then...well their support for my career choice never faltered. I could probably find my ratio of auditions to booked jobs but I don't think I want to actually see that number. :-)

I feel this, but I also think this is one of those inward feelings we have from our intrusive thoughts. My intrusive thoughts seem to ask why people want me in their life, and what is there intentions. Am I just there to fill their void? Am I there to serve their happiness? Emotional vampires want to do nothing for you, and you do everything for them. If they do something for you, it's tallied in their minds so they can throw it back in your face the next time you ask a favour from them. You could have paid them back, returned a favour, something. That will go unaccounted as gratitude because it's deemed an expectation to them that you do anything for them. When you just want their company, it is always at an inconvenient time. Rarely will they ask you for your company.

Speaking of my family.

Roman women had their children at home. Every young girl knew what childbirth was like. They used a herb that provided contraception so much that it went extinct. Nuff said.

Childbirth is terrifying. No matter that it's natural. Death is natural, too, but that doesn't mean it's any less scary and it is painful for many people. That's why you die. Some people have died from pain, alone. Childbirth is excruciating and the pain is what kills many who have died in childbirth. Yet, pain is dealt with as a mere reaction women are expected to control.

Not all of us have that experience. I am sorry you did, but I know for some friends and myself, it was pretty uncomplicated.

Having an older sibling that's a bully is a special level of hell.

After being bullied at school/at home I thought as I got through to adult/work life it would stop but no I'm now bullied by people who themselves were bullied and have decided I must now pay the price

I am 43 years old and I dreamed of my grade-school bully last night. He died 24 years ago - it's not like he has any sort of presence in my life. But yea - that bully sh** scarred me for sure.

Yup. Some of my bullies’ conduct still sticks with me and I only ever befriended the ones who grew up and changed- two amongst several I now recall. I pray the rest matured.

There is support, only you have to find it, and I didn't know where to look until a more experienced disabled person pointed me in the right direction. I have two wonderfull talk groups that help me more than any therapist could

There are a plethora of online support groups available for most physical and mental diagnoses.

I remember at a parents evening when I was 14, my parents said to me it's all on you now, your brother won't amount to anything. My brother is scum and I will never speak to him again but he does have his own business. It doesn't change the type of person he is or what he has done in the past. Stuff that I, and many others, will never forgive him for. But his business is doing well, so that's good for him I suppose. Me on the other hand, I'm nothing. I have serious mental health issues alongside physical ailments. I'm worthless. A huge disappointment and waste of talent, and oxygen. I amounted to nothing. I will never amount to anything. It's just me and my cats vs the world.

Hello here I am

Present and accounted for 🫡