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40 Hilarious Restaurant Reviews And Replies, As Shared On ‘Takeaway Trauma’ (New Pics)
Many of us enjoy getting a cheeky takeaway after a hard day at work or school. Not only is it a way to reward ourselves for our efforts but we also end up supporting the local businesses and forming a bond with the shop owners. However, you can’t expect every single meal to be as stellar as what you’d get at a five-star restaurant. Some folks take it very personally if they have a sub-par experience and then vent their rage in the form of bad reviews.
That’s where the witty ‘Takeaway Trauma’ Instagram account comes in. The social media project collects the funniest and most unhinged customer reviews, and shares the savage comments that the restaurant owners came back with. Check out the freshest posts below and upvote your faves. Are we the only ones getting hungry right now? We hope not!
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Seek Help With Anger Management
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
Intoxicated
Takeaways are huge in the United Kingdom. Statista notes that the fast food and takeaway market in the UK amounted to 21.37 billion pounds (27.46 billion dollars) in 2022, with a forecast of 22.04 billion pounds (28.32 billion dollars) in 2023.
The fun ‘Takeaway Trauma’ project has grown immensely since it was founded back in late 2020. At the time of writing, the Instagram page has grown to house 184k takeaway and sassy comeback-loving fans. It’s a favorite of many internet users and has become a popular niche for anyone craving a big dose of negativity with a bunch of comedy poured all over it. All you need is an internet connection, as well as a big bag of popcorn or a large portion of curry fries and you’ve got an enjoyable evening ahead of you, really.
Sorry To Hear About Your Nan
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
It’s easy to see why the page is such a huge hit. The posts are incredibly relatable on so many levels. First of all, you’re dealing with the topic of food. That’s something that absolutely everyone can relate to because everyone needs to eat in order to survive. So the quality of the food and service is a touchy subject for many folks. Many of us have also eaten out at least once in our lives, so there’s another layer of relatability for you there.
Secondly, people tend to be drawn to negative news more than positive topics. Though we all enjoy wholesome content from time to time, it’s spicy takes, criticism, and drama that dominate our attention. That’s why reading negative reviews is its own form of entertainment. As is watching how business owners put overly-critical wannabe food critics in their place with their rapier-like wit.
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
Put Food In Living Room
And thirdly, there is a ton of comedy to enjoy on ‘Takeaway Trauma.’ Laughter helps us forget about our worries, improves our immune system, gives our internal organs a decent workout, and makes us feel good. So it’s no wonder that this cocktail of food, negativity, and humor has been so popular with the Instagram crowd!
Meow
Says A Lot About You
They have a point though. If there really was a hair in the food most people would document and send it back. Then OP says it didn't smell right. Again here most people document and send it back. OP supposedly 1. found a long hair 2. took the hair out 3. Sniffed the curry 4. Decided it smelled wrong and then 5. Ate it anyway. Sounds very unrealistic.
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If the curry doesn't smell right, it probably doesn't taste right either. When something smells off I do a careful taste check and if that is off as well I won't eat it. It's kind of on the customer as well, they could hava decided not to eat. The hair doesn't make a curry go bad though, but it can be an indication HACCP regulations or other hygiene rules aren't followed. Also, the customer didn't specify when they got sick, but food poisoning usually takes a couple of hours.
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What are you suggesting? The only way I can imagine someone finding a hair AFTER eating is my sifting through his … oh, I’m not gonna say it. If you have an alternate suggestion, though, I’ll enthusiastically read it!
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Especially if it also smelled wrong might have better called.
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So you found THE long hair, like they knew about it, had actually planted it there like an Easter egg.
Just an FYI: the fastest incubating foodborne illnesses need 24 hours before you'll experience symptoms, but 48-72 hours is more typical. If you feel sick a few hours after eating something, then it did NOT give you food poisoning. It may have simply upset your stomach, or you were poisoned by something you ate earlier.
Well, Barry never said when he found the hair. It could been at the bottom of the bowl.
If you get sick immediately after eating, it likely isn't food poisoning. Food poisoning takes at least 24 hours to kick in and can take up to two weeks. My qualifications? I'm a pastry chef and ServSafe certified.
I disagree. I had some bad chicken and my body rejected it a couple hours later. It depends on what bacteria is inhabiting the food and how far it goes through your digestive tract.
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There was hair AND it smelled off and you STILL ate it?! Thats in you then
Hair ones always crack me up as 99% of time it's the customer's hair. The last one I dealt with they said food had a long wavy black hair. My hair is short and blue and our cooks and prep cooks all have shaved heads. A few front girls have long blonde hair. The customer had long black wavy hair! I pointed out that it was likely their hair as it was on top of the food and we don't have any workers with long black hair but I replaced the food anyway, why argue.
A hair AND it didn't smell right....I bet that lady is calling her doctor all the time. I also bet that she's lying.
For some reason review seems made up. Pretty sure you are supposed to send the food back. Otherwise it doesn't sound right.
While the response is not very good, the review is laying it on extremely thick. Fun fact, identifying a source of food poisoning is very difficult. People have often eaten several meals between eating the food that caused the illness, and experiencing symptoms. People will usually blame the last thing they ate, or let's face it, the last thing that fits a certain stereotype. Additionally, food poisoning from restaurants that cannot simply be attributed to poor cooking will often affect multiple people. The hair is a nice touch, but makes me feel overall that this is a story, not an experience. I'm not saying it isn't possible. There are some utterly shocking stories from restaurants. But this sounds more like a vengeful customer to me.
Yessss honey 👏 I love this answer!! I'd buy from this place just for the review 😂
I kinda agree with the owner. I'm not touching food with stranger hair on it, that right there was a big giveaway
Why ya downvoted? The review actually does sound made up .
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Long hairs are well known to cause food poisoning. I wonder what type they got? I'd imagine their stool sample they submitted to their GP's surgery will have identified it.... All those spices and it smelled wrong too.
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
Sarel down there is partially right. It is the big businesses and companies that are responsible for making so much plastic waste. Then they pin it on us to dispose of it properly. Recycling was made in the first place partly because of an ad I think IKEA sent out after introducing cheap light furniture made with plastic. Some of you might remember it; it was that one with someone driving a car and littering and a Native American picking up the litter and crying a single tear or smthn idk THE POINT IS that big companies and businesses will try to subtly pin the blame on us and make us do something about it while they do nothing >:/ Edit: some people have pointed out to me that the ad was not made by IKEA, that’s my bad. HOWEVER it was funded by big plastic-producing companies like Coca Cola. Also, I’m also not saying that we don’t have to do anything, and that we aren’t partially to blame for this, I’m just saying we ALL have to do our part and these companies are slacking off and pushing the blame all onto us.
During a previous interview with the founder of ‘Takeaway Trauma,’ Bored Panda learned that the account even got featured on The Jonathan Ross Show, on the BBC. “I didn’t even realize they were airing it, they just did, and then someone just messaged the account telling me they saw it!” the founder told us earlier.
“I’ve definitely seen a big increase in audience, especially since the TV show. People seem to be more and more involved in the humor, it’s almost like we have our own little community, which is exciting,” they said.
Relatable Tbh
Bye Bye
I'm not a fan of complaining about the price, unless it's relevant to the problem. If you're willing to pay 6 pound (or 7) for a waffle with ice cream that's on you. You know what you're getting. If however you pay 7 pounds for a waffle with ice cream and the waffle is the size of a cracker then fair enough.
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
“I do see some really savage replies by business owners, some are so rude that I can’t actually post them as it’s pretty offensive—that’s how bad it's got!”
Back in late 2021, the founder of the project told us that they’d seen a surge in negative reviews about pizza deliveries. “It seems that the Neapolitan-style pizzas with the thin base seem to always fold over, or toppings fall off. It’s quite funny but at the same quite frustrating for the customer!” they said.
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
Mark The Rat
Never Been
I have never rated a restaurant I haven't been to.
“Funnily enough, one thing I have learned is that most people only really write reviews if it’s really bad or really good—rarely in between. I think sometimes people are so annoyed and angry that in the heat of the moment after just receiving their ‘bad food,’ they go on to the internet and type everything they are thinking about right there and then,” they shared.
So Much Greece
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
Not One But 2 Contact Lenses
Meanwhile, during another interview, the page founder opened up to Bored Panda about the inspiration behind ‘Takeaway Trauma.’ "I'm a big takeaway fan and found myself going to order a delivery and thought I’d check the reviews of a particular establishment. After checking the good reviews, I thought I better check the bad ones also," they said.
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
Get Stuffed
Plaster (From A Finger) In The Butter Chicken!!!!
"I came across the most hilarious reviews and was genuinely crying with laughter. Without really thinking about it, I screenshotted the reviews just for my own personal use to send to friends, etc. People seemed to find them funny so I thought, let's try and curate these and create a page out of it!" they told Bored Panda.
According to the founder of ‘Takeaway Trauma,’ folks ought to have more empathy and be more forgiving with restaurant staff. “People in general are so impatient and want things instantly. As soon as these high standards aren't met, the natural human reaction is to complain,” they said.
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
Oh Rita, We Always Knew You Loved A Guy In Uniform
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
It doesn't actually say she didn't like the food, just the location.
"I think a lot of the time, people give too much stick to takeaways, however, with that being said, some of the images of takeaway food I’ve seen really do look awful, so I think you can only really determine it on a case by case basis,” they pointed out that there are two sides to this particular delicious and metaphorical food industry coin.
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
When you order a beef dish, (especially one that the beef is capable of falling out) you tend to expect to be able see or at least taste the beef. A typical sandwich usually contains between 3 & 5 oz of meat, so this one seems a lot more legit than some.
Dryer Than Me Nana
Rude And Pushy
We’d love to hear about the very worst (and best!) takeaways that you’ve ever had, Pandas, so swing by the comment section to share your experiences with all the other readers. Have any of you ever worked at a takeaway or fast food place? If so, we’re keen to hear about things from the other side of the counter.
Meanwhile, here at Bored Panda, we’re pretty big fans of ‘Takeaway Trauma,’ and you can check out our previous features about the project here and here when you’re done enjoying this list.
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
Black Bird Feather
4 And A Half Teethed Monster
Don’t Think It’s The Same As Racism Barry
I looked at the date. Wasn't there some kind of bug going around? You know, the one that made cash transactions a bit frowned upon and everyone went contactless?
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
Pizza Was Lifting
I'd like to know if "lifting" was an incorrect spelling, an autocorrect, a poor translation, or if the pizza was levitating, or doing some weight lifting. So many possibilites.
Uber Court
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
No Vaccine For Stupidity
If he's been eating the "dead skin off the bottom of his great grandad' feet", he is in no position to criticise other's food.
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
Note: this post originally had 61 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
man, fast food shop owners are total jerks when they get given a bad review.
I realize some of these reviews are translated from other languages but, dang, the grammar, spelling and situations are appalling.
It's so bad that a friend of mine told me that there was "no need to be polite" when I was using proper grammar and punctuation. I had to explain to her that no, I was not being stiff and formal, this is just how I usually type.
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I don't see why the title says "silly and hilarious."
I don't see why so many of the responses and even the reviews have so many spelling mistakes.
Because working in the restaurant business is so hard and pays so little that only immigrants will accept to do it nowadays.
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To the folks that think the owners are out of line: In the restaurant industry, false bad reviews are a plague. It's often very obvious that it's just a disgruntled customer using devious means to get "revenge" on the restaurant for something that may or may not have been the restaurant's fault. I, for one, and happy to see some of these owners sticking it right back to these rude, selfish, problem customers.
I read the food reviews for entertainment purposes only. People only write reviews if they had a terrible experience or an amazing experience, never in-between. You wanna know if you like a place walk in look around smell the air and take a chance. One person's worst tasting food could be another's favorite place.
man, fast food shop owners are total jerks when they get given a bad review.
I realize some of these reviews are translated from other languages but, dang, the grammar, spelling and situations are appalling.
It's so bad that a friend of mine told me that there was "no need to be polite" when I was using proper grammar and punctuation. I had to explain to her that no, I was not being stiff and formal, this is just how I usually type.
Load More Replies... I don't see why the title says "silly and hilarious."
I don't see why so many of the responses and even the reviews have so many spelling mistakes.
Because working in the restaurant business is so hard and pays so little that only immigrants will accept to do it nowadays.
Load More Replies... To the folks that think the owners are out of line: In the restaurant industry, false bad reviews are a plague. It's often very obvious that it's just a disgruntled customer using devious means to get "revenge" on the restaurant for something that may or may not have been the restaurant's fault. I, for one, and happy to see some of these owners sticking it right back to these rude, selfish, problem customers.
I read the food reviews for entertainment purposes only. People only write reviews if they had a terrible experience or an amazing experience, never in-between. You wanna know if you like a place walk in look around smell the air and take a chance. One person's worst tasting food could be another's favorite place.
