129 Things Our Parents Told Us As Kids That We Realized Were Toxic Only When We Became Adults

Eating disorder, here I come !

I was the "golden" child when a parent compared my brother to me. I didn't realize it at the time, but it put more of a wedge between us. He shouldn't have been expected to be able to behave in a manner four years older than his level, but if he didn't, it meant more beatings and screaming... leading to even greater efforts at perfection on my part (because sometimes the abuse towards him would come my way too)... leading to him never being able to "be more like your sister." 💔

"So you CAN do it?"

whenever ive been told this its never with bad intent, just an observation. But it still destroyed me.

It's not ok decide every aspect of your child's life and future on the ground "I know what's best of you" of course, but it's ok to prevent your toddler to jump from the balcony trying to emulate superman on the ground "I know what it's best for you". The sentence alone doesn't mean anything without a specific context

I've been told this my entire life! "Don't eat that icecream, you will become a pig!" "Don't eat that [fried] chicken, you will get fat!" "Don't eat that burger, you want to be cow?" Well, I grew up fat anyways, even if I did stay away from those things. I was really sad when my cousins got to eat icecream at the beach and I couldn't....

Without some sort of context, I fail to see how this is toxic. Parents get to make the house rules.

this phrase is proof that they didnt

Emotional blackmail. I remember reading this post where a mom forced her 3 year old to breastfeed so her chest wouldn't hurt. Some people just should NOT be parents.

Oh! Look, im first here. “You guys NEVER respond first!” (Meant as joke plz no downvote)

Hello, imposter syndrome!! 👋

And yet… Greta Thunberg. Emma Gonzalez. Malala Yousafzai. Jazz Jennings. (There are boys too but I don’t have any off the top of my head).

Only acceptable in doctor’s office/describing being ill

I used to have regular evening panic attacks (0 stars. would not recommend) and my mom can’t deal with anything after 8:30- I don’t judge her, emotional disregulation is real, literally why I had said panic attacks- so it would usually end up with her yelling at me to shut up or go away, me being physically incapable of moving and just straight-up bawling, and dad being the pissed off mediator.

I was told this by my bipolar mother when I was 16. I was having my own mental health breakdown, my parents had just divorced, I wanted my mum but she was off smoking weed, boinking any men she could find and riding around on motorbikes. I got told I was too clingy and that I was 16, I was old enough to look after myself. I moved out not long afterwards and I've lived on my own every since. Mum has since apologised to me for this because she's now being treated for her bipolar and has been stable for years. She says she feels shame for how she treated me.

Wow, today's lesson seems to be context context context!!!!!

When will our world have equal opportunities for both genders? Did you know that if women farmers were given the same resources as men, we would achieve the SDG goal of ZERO HUNGER. Gender Inequality is tied to a lot of the other goals, you know.

Please argue with me, I'm good at it and I want my kid to be able to hold her own with anybody, not to mention lots of Kudos when her points are valid and much praise when she manages to bring me round to her take on things!!!

for people who havnt been told this and nont see it as toxic, its usually said in responce to a child asking their parent to do something that the child cannot or to be a parent.

Don't come crawling to me when I become a MILLIONAIRE!!!! (Confidence is key to success, IMO).

I don't know how. I've never been my age, before.

My ex husband gave me an ultimatum. The baby or me. I was 10 weeks pregnant. I had my baby as a single mam at 17. I would never,ever of blamed my son fir that situation. He did nit ask to be born. Some parents are so nasty

Kids don't have a say in being born so she left because of ur choices as parents and partners.

Once again context is everything. If a 12 year old did the dishes and left crusty chunks on everything, this sentence would be absolutely fair.

Ah, the theme song of my childhood.

My mum when it comes to LGBT+

Well

my mom made me listen to classical music a lot as a little kid (like very little, ages 3-5) cuz she says it'll make me smart when i'm older, now she disapproves of me listening to classical music while studying cuz apparently it makes me not concentrate. meanwhile she's blaring those old-school chinese songs on speaker. i guess anything that's not Mozart or Beethoven isn't classical music. smh

Ur right parent cuz I'm just.like u!!!

children see their parents as rolemodels. this can cause them to develop an eating disorder as a result of their parents own poor self image.

*burp. fart. toe tapping. dress covered in stains because REBEL AGAINST THE FORMALWEAR. playing with food. scratching butt. picking nose* “Huh? Sorry, I couldn’t hear you over me not caring!”

Yeah. You couldn't send a text message, either.

threatening to disown yourchildren is highly likely to result in them developing abandonment issues later in life

I mean, I did teach my sister swears so..

🎶 Because I had undiagnosed ADHD 🎶

I left when she said that to me.

YEP! NOT TRUE AND I HATE THIS PHRASE SO MUCH

Gently inform them that we are living in the 21st century, and that that is sexist bullcrap.

I was told that by my mother. 😥

well, usually when someone asks for advice that means that they don't know/are unsure about how to do something. So if you ask someone who knows it is wise to at least consider their advice

And neither do I, except make it 100%.

Worse "you are a disappointment"

Maybe "don't make me turn the car around" is poorly phrased, but I think if kids are being dangerous (unbuckling), hitting, or being bratty; it's reasonable for the driver to give a warning and follow through. "Buckle up, or we're going back home instead of the park."

"Because I'm mini-you."

I told my kid the truth when we would shop, I also helped her to learn what works best with her figure, and I also told her that if something in the store just makes no sense to u and u think it's awful, u need to grab it and try it on as it may end up being one of the best things u have ever put on urself, or not and then we had some laughs. Shopping and experimenting should be fun, and it's OK to go out in an epic fail of an outfit!!!

and sometimes parents really are

Ah, my old friend Ímposter Sinndröme

My friend Kaden was the person I should have been. My mom always compared me to him.

"If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?"

Three cheers for toxic masculinity!! /s

Literally one of the most damaging possible things to say to a child who’s brain is STILL DEVELOPING.

My mom said this when I said I wanted to live with my dad. She said that he was just manipulating me. I was sixteen and hadn't talked to him in a year.

How about "You like making me angry, don't you? You do this on purpose!"

Just use the ol’ “who says I’m going to have kids?”

“Hey kid, c’mere, I got some real good candy in this old white van of mine… yeah, sure, a puppy too… no, I’m not suspicious at a- ah SHITE, the cops are here!!”

No, please come to me as soon as u smell trouble, I am here to help, always. Come to me so we can't limit said trouble and/or figure a way out of it. Remember u have a whole lot of years more experience than ur kids, what was the point of going through all that if u withhold ur knowledge from those u love the most????

Yeah, but strong men/women do sooooo

HAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA

And asking themselves why their daughter have self confidence issues...

Sometimes kids lie a lot. Sometimes they're really bad at it. I don't see a problem with this if you can be fairly sure that they are.

I know ur make mine miserable right now!