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Women In The Bored Panda Community Pointed Out 32 Turnoffs In Men
We all know, rationally, that if a fly landed in our soup, the actual surface area it touched would be very small. At the same time, most of us also would probably prefer to not eat that particular bowl. As it turns out, this same principle is just as true when it comes to dating.
So we gathered the most interesting responses to a thread posted on BoredPandaHQ, asking netizens to weigh in on what causes women to rapidly lose interest in a man. Get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to head on over to the BP community and follow the page for more interesting threads and memes.
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#1
Inability to communicate. Counter accusing instead of taking accountability for their actions.
Defiant_Industry1155:
Counter accusing is the actual worst.
OP:
Absolutely! 💯 It can be so shocking and confusing until you realize what they're actually trying to do. Toxic.
RELATED:
#3
So many things…. if i had to pick one thing i’d say it’s when a man makes a rude “joke” about me and i get upset and then he acts like i’m too sensitive for not enjoying being insulted.
DearTumbleweed5380:
For me, when I turned it back around on him and woah - the sulking! The hurt feelings and the poor little me act. Don't give it out if you can't take it.
Ever wonder why a guy can go from prince charming to total cringe in the blink of an eye? That sudden stomach flip of revulsion is what the internet affectionately calls the ick. We posed this question to the good folks at Bored Panda HQ and gathered their thoughts. While it might seem harsh to dump someone because they ran for the bus with a backpack on or used a straw too enthusiastically it is a genuine psychological phenomenon.
According to experts at VeryWellMind, the ick develops when we’re suddenly repulsed by a specific, often “small” action. It often pops up during the early dating stages when you are still building an image of who someone is.
#4
For me, it's lying. Lie to me once, I will lose all respect for you.
loco_mixer:
No human in the history of the planet tells the whole truth all the time.
Mynameismommy:
True but there’s a huge difference between lying to save someone’s feelings when knowing the truth would do no good (in my opinion the only justifiable time), and just lying to get what you want or because it’s “easier”.
#5
I don’t like when they don’t have empathy for others especially empathy for children, animals and the elderly. I also don’t like mansplaining my profession to me when they know nothing of it.
The concept gained massive popularity through reality shows like Love Island where contestants would suddenly find themselves repulsed by a partner for the smallest reasons. While some people argue it is just a shallow excuse to end things others believe it is our intuition signaling a deeper lack of compatibility.
#7
Possessiveness and jealousy. It's not a compliment.
One-Load-6085:
The whole romance novel genre women love would beg to disagree...
Anon:
If you fear abandonment, seek therapy. Don’t make it your partner’s problem. They shouldn’t have to sacrifice their family & friends just b/c they have you.
#8
I lose interest when a man shows me he doesn't know how to listen. I'm not talking about deep conversations, I'm talking about simple details, like if I tell him something important and he doesn't even remember it, if everything revolves around him, or if he seems present but isn't really there.
dankeykang4200:
So ADHD is pretty much a deal breaker for you? It's fine if it is. Women born in December are a deal breaker for me. It's not because anything dumb like astrology. It's because my mother, my sister, my son, and Jesus all have birthdays in December. I can't afford another December birthday in my life.
Your brain might be picking up on subtle social cues or hygiene habits that do not align with your long term needs. In the responses you see here many women describe that precise second where the rose colored glasses shattered. Maybe he did a weird little dance or he was way too intense about a hobby that just did not click.
Psychologists often suggest that the ick acts as a defense mechanism to protect us from investing in the wrong person. We often want our partners to be “good,” so we overlook warning signs. This way, our brains can give us a reality check. It is almost like your subconscious mind is performing a quick audit and deciding that the physical or social chemistry just is not there.
#13
Being a man boy. Having to be told what to do. Propping them up: ie having to make their Dr. appts. travel plans, grocery shopping etc.
Not being a helpful partner. Playing video games instead of helping with kids & chores.
anon:
It's gonna be weird when you have kids with a Man and then it turns out he plays video games instead of helping with kids
#15
When a man feels he "trapped" me, then stops working, stops taking care of himself, turns into a sorry little man-child. Then acts all offended when I either walk with nobody's help, or find someone better. No honey, you brought it all on yourself. Leave my name out of your mouth 😂.
Once you catch the ick it is notoriously difficult to shake off because it affects your base level of attraction. It turns charming quirks into irritating flaws that you just cannot unsee. While some minor icks can be managed through open communication many people find that the feeling is a point of no return. It serves as a reminder that dating is often as much about what we cannot tolerate as it is about what we love. So if you find yourself suddenly turned off by the way he holds a sandwich just know that you are definitely not alone in that experience. We’ve put together a community on Reddit for Pandas to share their thoughts on questions like in this post and to share memes and interesting facts, so head on over there for more.
#17
Finding out he values his mommy's opinion more than the opinion of his significant other.
Anon:
Pretty deluded to think a guy would automatically value your opinion higher than the womam who created and loved him unconditionally for 30 years; you seem to have a scarcity mindset.
#19
Being a hypocrite, exploitative and controlling. I was v close with a guy and then he hit the trifecta in one giant meltdown, which went over a few days. Suddenly saw him in a completely different light and never felt the slightest physical attraction again, and only felt revulsion. It also made me re-evaluate our past and pretty much everything he'd ever said or told me in a *very* unflattering light.
#21
Bad breath. Or a particularly bad kisser.
Spock_s_wife1984:
If he has bad breath, he’s a bad kisser by default.
#23
The toilet seat. It’s usually the toilet seat.
EmpiresofNod:
I was married at 16 and one day my wife fell into the toilet because I left the toilet seat up and I heard it. I never left the toilet seat up again. Even now after all these years when my nephew uses the toilet, I tell him to stop using my bathroom. He then asks "How do you know I used it?" I respond with "becasue you left the seat up. Do you have no respect for the ladies in the house?"
#25
For me, ego disgusts me, bad moral compass, rudeness… and sometimes just being too “into me” is a turn off. Honestly, anything! I’m a “vibe” person, always tuning into my gut feelings about the situation. It’s just the way the Weinstein wobbles.
Ok_Departure504:
You seem like the kind of person that would create a very toxic relationship.
#26
When I’m not feeling like I’m wanted and special. We don’t want to tell us, we want to feel it all around us.
#29
Too complicated of a lifestyle: constant travel, weird work schedule, pets, workaholism, family enmeshment, a stressful job, restlessness, weekends away, poor eating and the inevitable health conditions, dreams of owning livestock. At that point it doesn’t matter if they’re fiscally stable or honest, a net negative.
#31
Shaking her hand when he’s trying to hit on her.
I was at a beer garden and some dude was hitting on me and straight up offered me a handshake. I was all, “Ok. No thanks!”
Imaginary-Carpenter4:
A handshake is such a traditional, normal interaction, which you have every right to refuse of course, but there is nothing weird about it in my opinion.
#32
Discovering he is a visual polygamist.
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