Say please and thank you. Make eye contact when having a conversation. Respect other people’s personal space. And please, never ever speak loudly on your phone when in a small, shared space.
Social norms are incredibly powerful. They let us know that we might not want to speak and behave the same way around our bosses that we do around our best friends, and they help us travel via public transit without infuriating all of our fellow passengers. There are plenty of unspoken rules that make our lives simpler, but there might be some that you disagree with as well. Just because society tells you something is right or wrong doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to question it.
Reddit users have recently been sharing examples of things society considers to be bad that are actually perfectly normal, so we’ve gathered a list of their most spot-on responses below. From circumstances we all experience to harmless behaviors that shouldn't carry any moral weight, this list is full of reminders that sometimes society’s rules are just arbitrary. Enjoy devouring this food for thought, and don't forget to upvote the replies featuring things you’d like to normalize as well!
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Assisted suicide. If your pet does not have a good prognosis your vet will recommend putting them to sleep. Why do we make humans suffer to the bitter end? Sure, we give them medicine to make them comfortable, but why extend that timeframe if they nothing left to do? They made their will, they said goodbye, now they wait and run up a bill for their family to pay?? If you have terminal illness, you should be able to die with dignity.
Doing nothing with my free time.
I work and have chores. When I don't have those things, I don't feel like hiking or scuba diving or anything.
I want to do nothing. Leave me alone.
Absolutely! People are saying I need to get a hobby, but I really need to do nothing sometimes. My free time is just a few ours monthly, so no hobbies are worth it 😃
A lot of people are quick to call you "fake" if you're polite to those you dislike.
It's not being fake, it's being civil.
YES! Just because I don't like someone doesn't mean I will be rude to them!
Not having kids if you don't want them.
Having kids you don't want is bad.
Completely agree. Yet, people think that we, who don't have children, are considered selfish. Having children is not for everybody.
Abortion
Fewer children born into poverty or in situations where they aren’t wanted is a net positive. It’s actually been proven that abortion lowers crime.
I can't believe they made it illegal in the States, that's madness! If you make it illegal it will just go underground and women will die. It happened in the past and will happen again. Woman deserve the have the choice about what happens to their bodies
a socialist health system. You shouldn't need to pay to stay alive.
In my experience, some people see not being close with your family as a red flag. Not sure why. Like, sorry? I didn't get to pick my family. Lol.
Being able to identify toxic people and cutting them out of your life before their abuse break you down, can be a major green flag, and a true sign of strength as it is not an easy thing to do.
Waking up late. But getting a few more hours sleep is far more beneficial than some YouTube hustler saying you should wake up at 5 am for no reason.
I'm on board on sleeping-in. I like my sleep, and if I don't have to be anywhere/somewhere, what's the point of getting-up so early?
Being alone
Mental health care. People want to pretend if you just ignore mental health problems, they will go away. Does cancer go away if you ignore it?
I will just shove my mental problems under this rug. What I don't see doesn't exist, right?
Cultural appropriation. The spread of a culture to people groups who are outside the originating culture is a good thing.
As long as they aren’t mocking or insulting the people and their culture, there shouldn’t be a problem
Talk about your salary. This literally just exist so that the working class doesn't talk about unbalanced wages and starts to question their bosses
Pssssstttt Americans: It’s actually illegal for companies to forbid you from talking about your salary. Violates your right to Unionize or something obscure.
Using social services. It is what they are there for, and you helped pay for them.
Men having emotions
Men having emotions other than anger, women being angry or being unemotional. It's like men are only allowed to be either angry or unemotional and women must feel some feelings but it must not be anger.
Being lazy, there is nothing wrong with spending the whole weekend just playing video games and watching movies! As long as you don't neglect your kids or pets during that time who cares what you did on the weekends or after work!
I guess if you don't live with anyone else and you aren't neglecting other responsibilities that you have, then there's nothing wrong with it.
sex education for people younger than the age of expected sexual activity
Politicians changing their minds when presented with new information.
Failing. Failing does not mean you are a failure. Just means you tried something and it didn't work out right. It is very possible that "Those who never failed also never tried." is true.
Doing things (like going to a restaurant) alone
What's wrong with going to a restaurant alone? Let alone, doing things alone?
Piracy for incredibly old movies/games etc. If its no longer available, then it should be encouraged if anything.
Funny- I never thought of games and movies not entering the public domain. Something to think about
**One example** of something that society considers to be bad but is not inherently so is aging. While aging is often associated with decline and loss, it can also bring wisdom, maturity, and a greater appreciation for life. It is often how society views aging and the cultural attitudes toward the elderly that are negative, not the process itself.
You're not allowed to age now? What the hell else are you going to do?
Poverty. Have you noticed how most people treat those who make little money? Yes, there are some hard-core slackers who don't want to work, but most people work their asses off to make a living, and it's not because of laziness, but because of social or health reasons. It is worth remembering that one day you make fun of the poor, and the next day you are begging for your own bread. Be kind!
Not tipping workers who do basic stuff like handing me a cup of coffee or a takeout bag. It’s okay to not want to pay 20% for just handing me stuff I bought.
The issue is that at least in the US, they have set up a really crazy system where people like e.g. waiter has been allowed to "setup their own business inside a restaurant" rather than being paid staff by the restaurant owner. They are paid so little that they must rely on being able to be paid in tips, so you are basically making them work almost for free if you don't tip them, and that is not fair either. I like the european model more where the pay for the waiters are determined in advance and added to the price of the meal, so they don't have to gamble on your mercy.
Voluntary celibacy.
People act like you're missing out, or wierd just because you don't want to have sex.
Breastfeeding in public
Breastfeeding in public should be banned, but only after eating in public is banned, because that's what breastfeeding actually is - giving food to your child.
Not working 24/7 or participating in the “hustle culture”
I used to work for someone, who would frown on us whenever we leave on time. He thinks that we're not being "loyal" if we didn't stay late. A hostile work environment, too. Thank goodness, it didn't take long for me to find a different job, where it wasn't as stressful. We did some overtime, when need be, but not all the time.
Not having kids.
Stop asking people, you never know what they’re going through, and it’s nobody’s business.
As I've said before, having children is not for everybody. For some, it might be as personal as having some medical issues. Really, it's nobody's business.
Cutting off your parents/family if they're toxic.
Your relationships are your choice :) it's not for anyone else to say
Talking about periods.
Talking to yourself.
Having disagreements. Totally normally to disagree with people. It’s even more normal to disagree with your friends and still remain friends.
I beg to differ. I am not going to stay friends with people who have different opinions on women's and LGBTIQ-rights or are racist.
Being comfortable enough to relax and find enjoyment at home. You shouldn’t need to constantly leave your home to find enjoyment. It’s not bad to spend those staying home without going out shopping, to restaurants, to special events etc. there’s nothing wrong with relaxing at home
Taking things that have been discarded but are perfectly good.
When I lived downtown, it went like this: Good stuff - laundry room. Less good? hanging around the dumpster for the divers. Only total garbage went in the dumpster. I live in a small town now - Good stuff - posted to town facebook page. Less good? donate to thrift. Only total garbage sent to landfill. Reduce, reuse, recycle, love your mother Earth.
Cursing and nudity. Especially in US. You people are so prude
Knowledge, apparently. Seems like educating others and speaking on a topic you are certified to speak in is an offense to them somehow, so they think you're speaking down to them if you disagree with them.
This is common, especially in the USA. If you are not a conspiracy theorist who believes in every stupid thing known to man, you are a sheep
Sensitive straight guys
The stupid machismo image that society led many of us to believe that men are not "real" men, if they're sensitive🙄🤦🏻♀️
Helping others and gaining nothing from it. I don't mean like charity work but if I come across someone in need that might just need to talk to someone I don't mind being that person. Have a few friends that are baffled by that idea that I don't need anything in return to help.
Providing help to pedophiles so they don't commit crimes.
Pedophilia does not mean someone is automatically an abuser. We need to stop harmful media portraying every single person out there with an illness as a criminal. For this, it needs to be treated, but people who have it *won't* get help if they're afraid they will be destroyed by word getting out that they have said illness. There are far more people with this that never harm any children their entire lives than those who do. This is backed by scientific research and studies, but the moment anyone tries to say not *all* these people are monsters, they're vilified themselves. We need to let them get help. Maybe one day we can track down something, somehow, that stops this, and we need to try to help those that have it to do that.
Abortions.
This is probably going to get a lot of replies/backlash but this needs to be said: People deserve the right to make choices about their health on their own. They don't need a government/society telling them that they can't be free to make their own decisions. (btw, parents make most*, if not all decisions regarding their child's health). *edit-typo
Being single.
all of my friends date, but I don’t need to! Poetry and novels instead!
Showing affection.
I'm not a tactile person or one for showing a lot of affection, but one day when a friend gave me some really sad news I just went over to her and held her hand, and later on she said just how much that meant to her.
Talking about nightmares/suicidal thoughts.
"oH donT sAY thaT"
I mean, it can be tought to ear. Maybe when talking about heavy subject make sure the person you are talking to can manage them ?
Social welfare… lots of countries, developed ones with real economies are quite happy with it. Yes, higher taxes, but if those funds actually take care of real needs, most gladly pay.
I live in Australia and I have no problem with my tax dollars helping out people that need it. Believe it or not the way the economy works you need poor people. If you want to avoid inflation you need a certain percentage of people not making money otherwise if everybody is making the same amount and doing well then the money isn't worth anything. Rich people sook about helping poor people without realising its the poor that make them rich. We need a better system
Making mistakes. I've f****d up a lot in my life, A LOT, but I've learned from it, grown, and become a better person than I would have been if I'd never made those poor choices. Making mistakes isn't bad, choosing to not learn from them is.
Edit: this got more traction than I expected, so let me explain. I'm a recovering alcoholic. I did a LOT of damage to my family and friends during my drinking days. The fact that I realized it was wrong doesn't magically absolve me of that, nor do I think it should. But I grew from those mistakes. My wife is the first one to point out that I'm a better person/husband/father *now* than I ever was before I developed a drinking problem. I'm a firm believer that it's important to offer people hope that they can grow from their poor choices, because if we can't then what's the point of stopping them if we're equally awful forever either way?
Edit 2: no, I never killed anyone drunk driving, I was just an emotionally absent, angry, rude, selfish, unhelpful a*****e who blew an insane amount of money (that we didn't have) on booze. Before my drinking problem, adequate was good enough for me. I was an adequate son/husband/father/friend for most of my life, and when I was drinking I was an awful one of all those things. Today I strive to be the best I can be of all of those things, but without my low point in the middle I would have stayed on my "this is good *enough*" path for my entire life. And if anyone else out there is struggling with alcoholism, just know that there's hope on the other side.
I made heaps and have made a career out of it now. I was expelled from every high school I went to and ended up in a behavioural school prototype (run by Christian youth workers and we did a school certificate equivalent from TAFE). The biggest one was getting charged with armed robbery as a 17yr old (I held up 3 guys with a pipe). I admitted to the crime and had it downgraded to robbery in company with a 3yr behaviour bond but no conviction recorded. Fast forward 20yrs and I have now studied and become the Aboriginal and Family Liaison in a school for at risk teens. I have completed studies in Youth work, Agriculture, Horticulture and Training and Assessing so I teach the students Cutlural Education and Horticulture were they receive a Certificate II in Horticulture when they leave school. Turns out it does take one to know one lol
Atheism, according to a recent poll.
What recent poll? Atheism is not ipso facto bad. People can do bad things under all sorts of theories, ideologies etc. Not believing in a god telling you what to do or not to do doesn't make a person automatically a moral-free zone.
Not having a romantic relationship
As someone working in the conservation field two big ones for me are
• Cutting down trees
• Using herbicides
The lorax and save the rainforest got everyone all f****d up on that first one, and now most of our oak woodlands are giving way to late-successional forests, or becoming homogenized with no canopy gaps. That's great habitat for some stuff, but a lot of animals depend on the structural diversity and/or composition of disturbance-based forests.
For the second one, people equate any herbicide use with blanket spraying used in agriculture. Invasive species are a huge detriment to biodiversity, and the scale of the problem is often not really solvable, or at least not efficiently, with non-chemical means.
The longer I stay in this field, the more I learn that armchair naturalists and true treehuggers are some of the worst allies. They have just as bad a grasp on nuance and ecology as loggers and farmers in a lot of cases.
This goes for hunting, as well. Controlled sustainable hunting is beneficial to an ecosystem.
Talking yourself up.
I feel like every time I try to compliment myself I get hit with an eye roll and a “wow, how very humble of you”
In reality I have low self esteem, and I’m just trying to give my self positive words of affirmation to help boost my low self confidence. I don’t see what’s so bad about that
It is also perfectly fine to share what we're struggling with. I will put in a lot of effort to help someone who shares their struggles.
GMOs.
If we want to feed 9+ billion people without destroying the Earth, and exacerbating the 6th mass extinction, we are going to need GMOs.
Women choosing not to have kids.
Not being married or having children by a certain age.
Dedicating time to yourself for self care, mental health and overall wellbeing. For some reason people think that’s wrong and that you should work until you die. The whole live to work concept is daunting.
This may be controversial…. Men.
Yes, there are some really awful men out there. Contrarily, there are some men in my life who have shown me great companionship, men who I have incredible relationships with. And by relationships, I mean strictly on a friendship level or family.
There are also men who I have dated who I have the utmost respect for as well. Just because things don’t work out doesn’t mean it is solely because of him or his gender. It’s a two way street.
I am always taken back but the outright disdain for men online. Imagine if the script were reversed. Imagine trying to walk this world a decent man when you are constantly being beaten down. I just think males and females make a great team when they work together.
Are there bad men out there? Yes. Are there bad women out there? Also yes. Being s****y is part of human nature.
This ^^ I fully agree. We need women's rights more than ever but that doesn't mean we can beat down men.
Skilled labor or working in the trades.
Mental health care.
Caring about your own mental health.
Its a double edged sword unfortunately. When your suffering from, say, depression, you're much less likely to seek help without outside influence because you feel you deserve to feel like s**t because your a s****y friend/partner/parent/whatever. In saying that YOU are the only person that can help you in the end. You have to go to your appointments (change therapist if you don't like them, and you don't like anyone atm), take your meds and put on a brave face. So much easier said than done
Being comfortable and happy being alone.
Customizing your body the way you want.
This includes getting hormone supplements, hormone replacement therapy, birth control implants/IUDs, vasectomies/hysterectomies, tattoos, and any other form of elective implant, cosmetic surgery, etc.
As long as you’re provided with—and fully aware of—the risks and side effects, you should be able to have anything you want done, even if other people consider it “ugly” or “detrimental” or “harmful” or “mutilation”, or whatever other negative terms they want to throw at you.
Freedom of expression and bodily autonomy are human rights.
Sticking around through hard times. Sometimes it's not toxic, people are just flailing cause they need help, and if you help you may find a very loyal and worthwhile relationship.
Autism
Being ugly
I`m not sure what is meant by this one. But if this means not conforming to the accepted norms of what is considered beautiful, then I agree.
Sex work
Universal basic income
Recreational drug use
I just want to try something that might help my illness and anxiety! But people whine that it's "bad" - well, why can I kill myself by drinking, smoking regular cigarrettes or eating then?
Psychedelics
There is a lot of researched information about this and research is being done on test subjects even at the moment. Psychedelics combined with therapy have given good results in the treatment of many mental health problems. For example, drug resistance depression and traumatic stress symptom disorder. According to studies, mushrooms help alcoholics recover. Certain forms of epilepsy remain under control, as does Horton's headache. psychedelics have relieved the fear of death in terminally ill patients. psychedelics have been needlessly demonized. I'm not saying that they are suitable for everyone and you shouldn't take them alone but in the company of someone who is clear-headed. Because they are illegal there are many risk factors.
Zipper merging on the highway
Low grades in school. We equate it too much to intelligence.
And this is coming from a teacher who got straight A’s I advanced classes. I can comfortably say my brightest students sometimes had the lowest grades.
Being vulnerable. Swallowing your feelings/not talking about them is not healthy at all and many still think that's something people should always do.
Putting yourself first
Divorce
Ehhh yes and no. There are relationships that can’t work. Shouldn’t work. But, sometimes people really are just to blasé about it. I know people who keep getting married and divorced and just shrug it off. Ok, why keep getting married if you’re just going to get divorced? That’s what dating is for!
Nuclear Energy, it’s just steam. Coal generator plants produce more radiation than nuclear ironically.
Anything that goes against capitalism...
Failing on tests and exams. Failing is natural and its part of the process.
It is possible to make no mistakes & still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life. --- Picard to Data episode S2E21, Peak Performance (July 10,1989)
In America, still living with your parents in your later 20s or into your 30s. If you are working hard and helping out a dent in a few bills, I don't see the issue.
MSG.
It is proven to be bad for the metabolism, causing overeating and development of addiction to it. If you consume MSG on a daily basis, nothing else taste good at some point. It just makes want more and more, it's self explanatory why it's not ok.
Pirating eTextbooks.
The real affects of sugar and fat
Way back when, there was some scientist that discovered the devastating affects of sugar, and he tried to pitch it out. Then the sugar industry hired a more well known scientist to pitch that fat was the issue that was causing a severe increase in heart disease in the US.
The sugar industry also paid the government and even managed to change legislation and food guides of what americans should eat. They really downplayed fhe affects of sugar so that they would keep making money. Interestingly the rate of heart disease skyrocketed after the sugar industry did this.
Today, we know a lot more about the affects of sugar but still uplay fat far too much.
Yes but not quite... "detailed in Science, our own examination of the historical events in question shows this alluring tale of industry meddling is based on a highly selective and profoundly flawed interpretation of the history. The long-deceased Mad Men–era Harvard scientists who stand accused of having been “paid off” to “shift the blame” to fat were, in fact, already on record in support of low-fat diets as a way to fight heart disease for nearly a decade before the sugar men came calling. In adopting this stance they were in sync with the dominant nutritional paradigm of the era".
Communism. Collective ownership of the means of production and shifting the economy toward collective good would do so much for people's lives but years of cold war propaganda has shifted the narrative to communism bad.
In the US we can only choose between two corporate parties now and there is no real left. Yayyy
Zipper merge!
MSG. It is delicious, low-calorie, and relatively easy to acquire. It got a bad rap from a racist a long time ago and has had trouble shaking off the bad PR.
I think someone there at BP needs to curate these lists a little better and remove repeats.
Introversion, Having children before marriage (a big no-no in my area) Being short, Being average weight, not stick thin, Living alone, Veganism, Religion, Age gaps in relationships (within reason) literally ANYTHING in the world as long as 1) you are not hurting anyone, and 2) you are not pushing your beliefs unto others.
Age gaps really, really depends. You can't say 'anything over 20 is bad'- what if a 70 year old and a 90 year old are dating for the first time? You also can't say that anything under, say, 5 years, is alright, because what if a 14 year old and an 18 yea rold were dating? That's creepy as f**k. It's about maturity level, not just age. The older you get, the bigger gaps can be without getting creepy. 50 and 60 is fine, but 15 and 25 is a problem
Load More Replies... I think someone there at BP needs to curate these lists a little better and remove repeats.
Introversion, Having children before marriage (a big no-no in my area) Being short, Being average weight, not stick thin, Living alone, Veganism, Religion, Age gaps in relationships (within reason) literally ANYTHING in the world as long as 1) you are not hurting anyone, and 2) you are not pushing your beliefs unto others.
Age gaps really, really depends. You can't say 'anything over 20 is bad'- what if a 70 year old and a 90 year old are dating for the first time? You also can't say that anything under, say, 5 years, is alright, because what if a 14 year old and an 18 yea rold were dating? That's creepy as f**k. It's about maturity level, not just age. The older you get, the bigger gaps can be without getting creepy. 50 and 60 is fine, but 15 and 25 is a problem
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