We all know that wisdom takes time. Just like when you’re a child and burn yourself with an oven, only to realize some surfaces are hot and you'd better stay away from them, so are the other things that require years of constantly learning through your own experience.
So when someone asked a seemingly simple question “What do people learn too late?” on r/AskReddit it immediately resonated with everyone. With 76.4k upvotes and almost 20k comments, we have some of the most illuminating answers below.
From protecting your ears from loud music if you don’t want tinnitus for the rest of your life, to realizing that salary is not the entirety of an equation when it comes to your job satisfaction, these are the things people wish they hadn’t learned the hard way but known it from the beginning.
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You're not obliged to have children of your own. You can be happy and fulfilled without reproducing.
societies obsession with "when are you having kids"... and when you have a kid - "when are you having another" is all types of f****d up. Not everyone is cut out for having kids, some people cant have kids, some people just don't want kids.... leave them alone.
Don’t worry if you aren’t living an exciting or extravagant life. It’s okay to live simply and quietly. It doesn’t mean that you’re wasting your life.
The value of walking away from someone toxic in your life, even if it is your parents and family. If you are thinking of it and are scared and have somewhere where you can land in a safe place, then do it. It hurts like hell for a long while, but it gets better and one day you realize how peaceful your life is and you find you only miss the family you wish you had had.
So very true. I grieve for the mother I never had, the idea of her was better than the reality. I still feel guilt and wonder if any of it is my fault, but that's classic victim mentality. I chose to walk away, but she chose to be the one who gave the final push.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. Some people shouldn't be parents but that doesn't mean that their children can't be marvellous individuals. You did the right thing for you. It truly wasn't your fault. Your mother would have been bad with any child so it isn't about you, that's on her - her issues and inabilities. Be kind to yourself and be happy.
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Happened to me. I walked away an got months later got a letter saying they were disowning me. That was their way of getting the last word in for the last time. I'm much better off now.
How immensely petty of them, thus proving that they truly were not worth it.
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My mother was very toxic. I never cut her out completely and when I was in my 40s, just a few years ago, she finally got treatment for paranoid schizophrenia, and I finally got to meet my real Mom. The reason I didn't feel free to cut her out completely is because she had literally no one else, no friends, no family, nothing. The point of all this is be wise, be careful, set boundaries, create distance, do what you need to for your own mental health and well-being, but leave a door available, not necessarily ajar, but definitely not locked. I am so very grateful that my Mom and I have been able to heal, don't totally eliminate the possibility of healing and loving. This does not apply to all circumstances or to a situation where your life is in danger
Yep - had to do this with a sibling 15 years ago. Best decision I ever made.
Life has gotten so much simpler and less stressful once I finally cut my parents out of my life. It was really hard, the first week was rough, but it needed to be done.
Then you can make your own family, out of people who actually care about you, and only want the best for you. You'd be amazed just how quickly you stop thinking about the ones who made your life hell.
Amen! I hate the people who tell me I need to forgive. I did for years and still was screwed every time. I'm much happier now than I have ever been.
Happened to me a few years ago. VERY painful but I don't regret standing up for myself against those that are supposed to be standing up for you. It's lonely but a much more genuine and peaceful life. Family isn't necessarily blood - it's the people that love you even when you're not looking 💜
So very true. But walking away from the toxic family is one of the most hard things ever, often accompanied by a lots of guilt bashing, insults, blackmailing etc. But in the end it is only you and your feelings and your life. Do not waste it by pretending something that is not true while suffering just because it is wanted from you.
Cutting out an extremely toxic parent was the best thing I ever did for myself.
Better to walk away from a toxic family and miss the family you wish you had than to continue to live with the toxic family while wishing you had a different family.
That is so true! People think because they are family, so should not dump them when they treat you like crap, but that is not true. Family does not have to mean blood.
I felt such great relief walking out of my moms life.. so many aspects of my life improved and I didn’t even realize how toxic it was allowing her in my life…. don’t get me wrong, she is my mother and I love her… never showed her any type of disrespect, never thought about mistreating her… I became ill with a painful, chronic illness and when she realized i was never going to get better ❤️🩹…. well…. she said she had other things to worry about
Finally had to cut ties with my youngest sister, who at one time was my best friend. She is just simply toxic - a complete narcissist, with all the passive aggressive manipulating BS that goes along with it. And I'm perfectly okay with it. I honestly don't miss her in the least.
It is actually liberating. The worst thing about it is that you will wonder why you now have so much time. This was time that slipped by you while you were worrying over how they felt or if you were wrong or something else unproductive and draining.
Had to cut yet another sister loose recently. Having morals & boundaries makes a huge difference in how you get to live.
If people fall "into the red", only taking, and never giving anything back, it's time to ditch them, and I am not talking money here. I may be rich, and you may be poor. I may buy you a an expensive dinner, and you give me a coffee and a listening ear when I need it, and it will make all the difference to me, you just being the good friend, making you stay solidly "in the black". I you demand, take, and never give anything back, it all racks up, and you become toxic, and it's time to dump you when you get too deep into red for too long - it's a relationship that just weighs me down, and gives nothing back, so time to dump it. Keep your sanity - keep your ledger, but NEVER make it about money, and always make it about true friendship being the helping each others out, whichever way you can and have the ability to do... That ear and your time, over a coffee, saving my sanity, is worth a lot, if offered at the time I need it, even though you were busy...
I cannot stress this enough. Your life really will be better without certain people in it, no matter how much you think you love them.
I wish that others would read this and stop trying to guilt those who have had the courage to walk. No - I don't want to hear "But it's your [parent/sibling]!!! You owe them because you're family!" - no... I actually don't owe those abusive a$$es anything.
My mother was one of those toxic people in my life. She recently died. I felt bad at first that we hadn't spoken in nearly two years. But then I remembered the last time she spoke, she recounted the awful way she yelled and cussed at the mail carrier for her apartment complex. I knew how nasty my mother could get and, regardless of what the mail guy had done, he didn't deserve to be treated like that. She thought that I was mad at her for years. I kept trying to tell her I'd always love her because she's my mom, but that I didn't want to be around her because she was so toxic to the people in her life. I'm just sorry she couldn't realize how much pain she caused before she passed.
Life is not worth having to deal with, people who harm you physically and mentally. It may be a hard road to follow at the end is release!
Now that I am older I know that letting go of everything you know and starting over with a pillow and a blanket after THREE specific times, isn't really scary... I did it THREE TIMES WITH CHILDREN. HA HA HA HA HA BITCHES. But I'm still poor. There's that. Wish I had a technical degree to work at the city offices or similar with retirement. Good work history but unorganized.
I had such a shïtty extended family (dad's siblings), that I cut ties with them when I was a kid. I knew I didn't need them in my life, and the fact that we were related never meant anything to me anyway, so I told them to fück off and never contact me again, unless there was money to inherit, which is the only use I'd ever have for their shïtty family.
Learning when to say no.
Learning how to apologise when it's your fault, and how to not apologise when it's not your fault.
Not everyone is going to like you, no matter how hard you try.
You are not supposed to like everyone and not everyone has to like you
Many college degrees have no job market.
Trade school is a financially solid option out of high school.
A cat on his back inviting a chesty rub is a trap.
I'm really happy that all three of mine welcome them. When I have friends over, most are weary of my claims that their hands and arms are safe, but it's true!
That it's possible to do everything right and still lose. Just life innit.
That's being wrong and changing your mind is actually nothing to be ashamed of.
Don’t ever think it’s ok to “talk” to yourself in a manner you wouldn’t let another human being talk to you.
The biggest abuser I ever had in my life, was my constant companion: the thoughts in my head.
We often take care to choose our words when correcting a child or friend... but if anyone had talked to me, the way I talked to me for 30 straight years, I would have murdered them... and probably got away with it too.
Be nice to yourself, you’re the only you, you have.
That mental & emotional abuse are a real thing.
Red flags.
That being a parent is not always "the most rewarding thing in the world".
It's stressful. My mother looks way older than she should, she's always tired and busy... It's horrifying!
The value of a good/unconditional friend.
I would rather not have any , then have toxic ones, my husband is my best friend
Knowing when to NOT be nice.
At least somebody gets it. My best friend is all sweet and innocent and overly nice, and I just wish that she would be a F*****G BITCH occasionally. Especially to me. I deserve it.
How soul crushing, unproductive, impotent and wasteful worrying about things is.
What not to share on the internet.
I think in the 90ies teens knew not to do this very well. Today's teens however seem to do the opposite and I find that quite worrying. It's going to bite at least some of them in the backside in a nasty way later in life.
That the cliche "you never know when it's the last time you'll see to someone" should absolutely be remembered for every occasion. My best friend just died in a car accident this past Saturday, and the last time I saw him we got in an argument and he left and we didn't speak after that. I'm destroyed by it
Oh gosh. I couldn’t imagine. The last time I spoke to my mother, we had an argument. She went into a coma that night and passed away.
That hating people who are different makes you nothing but unhappy.
That some things can never be undone.
The actions you take and the words you speak will come back around sooner or later.
How short life is.
"Everybody you fight is not your enemy and everybody that helps you is not your friend." - Mike Tyson
Did Iron Mike really say that? That is genuinely profound!
The sun is the worst thing for your skin, it burns you, causes cancer, and gives you wrinkles. SPF is your friend.
100 upvotes for this. But the sun is also needed for Vitamin D..."in little amount"
That happiness usually comes from a diverse range of interests, hobbies, and commitments. You are not your job. Your romantic partner cannot be your everything, etc. It's so easy to get sucked into a life where your career is everything or where you wrap your entire identity around your partner. There is nothing wrong with celebrating your loved ones and being close. And there is nothing wrong with caring about your job...you just need more to thrive. I see this so often in relationships. Two people meet and fall in love. They each inspire one another based on their interests and achievements, it's part of what makes them fall in love. But slowly, over time, they let those hobbies go. Stress gets in the way. Bills pile up. And then one day they find themselves wondering why they ever loved this person in the first place. Instead of being sexy and interesting they're just part of a routine.
TLDR: Diversify your interests and activities to be happy. Don't rely on a single person, hobby, or commitment to give you everything you need.
How to communicate.
My grandma used to say that 'Communication is the key to any successful relationship'
To appreciate their youth.
I used to be very critical of myself as ateen, în my 20s....now at 37 i just think how dumb I was
How to not give a [damn] about how others see you.
Seems simple enough for me now in my 20s, but back in high school there were many f**ks given about how others saw me. Ironically, those people that didn’t care how others saw them were often the more respected ones.
Saying “I love you” or wanting to reach out to your family, friends, and loved ones, but crippling anxiety stops you. You never know when it may be too late to say these things, so be in the moment, and live/love in the present authentically.
Interest rates, credit cards, credit score, money saving techniques, 401K. In other words anything that keeps you from being trapped by poor money management.
To stop being afraid of asking or pursuing the things you want in life
No one else will help you be yourself. Don't live for others all the time.
Social media can consume your life. It’s not all real, and not everyone posting pictures is having a great time, and not every “I LOVE YOU SO MUCH WE SHOULD CATCH UP” is genuine.
So much of social media consists of passing on the latest trendy meme, trolling, or arguing about politics. Very little real communication takes place.
The importance of education. As a kid your always hear generic statements like, "This will help your career" but nothing specific enough to be useful.
I feel like the emphasize on education sucked the joy out of my teen years especially. So I don't agree with this one. Education is important, but don't align your entire childhood to some "career" in the future.
You are your biggest limitation.
That's BS. Your parents, your environment, your education and the people you or your parents know decide your future.
Silence is golden.
Seriously, the amount of people who spout crap that no one cares about, just to hear themselves talk...
Got an ex-friend like this. This is one of the reasons we are no longer friends. They couldn't shut up. Ever. Spouted off about everything, was wrong about most things and a general a*****e. Well, that and he kept trying to convince my husband (m. 41 yrs) to divorce me (for months) because I told him to shut up. (He's childless, telling us we were bad grandparents because we didn't take a belt to our grandkids (18m & 3y at the time). Told us 'the buckle end will train 'em right!')
That nobody will be a better advocate for you than yourself. Especially when it comes to your health. Mental AND physical health. Don't wait for somebody else to do it. You'll have to do it yourself eventually.
Tell someone with anxiety. Thought I'd die of stomach ache but could not call an ambulance. Let alone walk into a doctor's office ... or even call for an appointment. Sometimes help IS needed.
Failure happens and its part of a learning process. Never be afraid of failing. In the same line being wrong about something and changing your mind is okay.
Money is a tool, not a life goal.
Mistakes have consequences. Sometimes they are huge consequences, such as a mistake while driving could kill yourself or someone else. Sometimes they’re little consequences. But always learn from your mistakes and that you should always be learning and improving yourself.
Setting and respecting boundaries, how to give a genuine apology, and other such communication 101 skills.
My dad hates that I demand my personal privacy in my home. I'm 40 don't insist to come over uninvited! Half of the time my lady is running around topless!
To protect their ears, you don't want to live with tinnitus for the rest of your life because you were exposed to a loud noise once
That friendships and relationships should never be so difficult to be in that it drains you of joy or throws you into depression.
And if you are that depressed friend that keeps losing connections with meaningful people, it’s never too early to get help. Even if you think you can beat it, it’s temporary, or you don’t deserve it.
Toxicity in any person is inevitable as people grow and change. What separates the toxic people from others is that they refuse to or are unable to recognize their own toxic patterns and cannot change their toxic behaviors when they negatively impact others. Unlearn your own issues. Do self work. You’re always going to be better for it.
True, of course, but ... I think people tend to be too fast with this. I've lost a few friends when I wasn't in my best state, friends who I thought I could count on - I shouldn't even have called them friends. It's those assholes that leave you when you need them the most, and excuse themselves by some variation of the above. Don't decide fast. Don't ditch a friend because he/she currently can't offer much help - any true friend will return whatever you do for them ... that's what qualifies them as friends in the first place.
The importance of writing skills for formal contexts.
Writing is an important skill in nearly any field and the more a career advances the more important it becomes. The lack of adequate writing skill often holds back a career.
Yet many people squander their opportunities to learn writing because they think their class assignments are empty busy work and they figure their skills in spoken English and informal text messages will carry over when they need to write for work.
I think it is the way we teach writing. It is an awful, painful, slog. I love creative writing but break out in a cold sweat at the words Composition II.
That it's more important to appreciate your body for what it can do rather than what it looks like.
Active listening
Impulse buying control. So much [stuff] in my house that I wish I could go back in time and not buy it in the first place
How to emotionally regulate
Not to believe everything on the internet.
How to use their turn signals in a car...
and how to merge, negotiate roundabouts, be courteous to other drivers....
That they are terrible at parenting.
I would say that terrible parents (almost) never learn they're terrible...
That brussels sprouts are good. And so is asparagus. And every other vegetable if you prepare it properly.
There is no way you could cook lima beans that would induce me to eat them. Goes for a few vegetables. Everyone has things that are just unacceptable. But, cooked correctly, the list is shorter.
That most people will just help you, how and if they can, if you are honest with them
It seems like so many people feel the need to conceal what they actually want from you, and try to get it by presenting a half-truth or what they think you want to hear instead of just being straight forward.
How slippery a slope addiction is. How quickly trying something at a party turns into being hooked.
That salary amount is not the entirety of an equation when deciding where to work. You have to take into account the cost of living, commute times, the safety of the nearby area, and the convenience of living in the area.
Studies have shown that taking a 20 minute longer commute is as bad for your job satisfaction as a 19% pay cut.
On top of that, wealth = money in - money out. If a new job pays 20k more, but if rent/property prices are 30k more per year, you are taking a paycut.
On top of that, you have to consider your future. Do you have to move to an undesirable location to work there? Crammed in a little apartment where the nearest services are an hour away? What about air quality? What about noise levels? Is this a place where you want to start a family and raise kids?
All of those play a factor in determining the desirability of a job. I am a firm believer that "my job doesn't exist outside this city" is a bulls**t myth. Even if you're a super specialized rocket scientist with a PhD in orbital dynamics, NASA is not the only organization with a job opening for you.
Don’t ignore that box of red flags next to the person you’re dating. I mean seriously - they’re in their house/apartment, their car, hell - their friends even wave them at you sometimes. Ok their parents help hide them if they like you but still.
Stop acting like you don’t see them. Just stop
Save your god dam money
The capital a diety uses to fund the construction of a barrier to hold back water?
Try to be sceptical of everything and ask for proof.
So you dont fall for scams like giving money/help/awards to ppl faking illnesses,as alot of reddit learned the hard way this week.
You are the master of your own head. The big boss of braintown. The alpha of beta thoughts.
You shouldn't let stray thoughts or feelings control your life. It's perfectly okay to disconnect yourself from them and control your mental state.
You are not your thoughts. You are the awareness of your thoughts.
Too many people these days don't understand that. They let their thoughts control them, unquestionably. The ability to tell your own brain "Hey, f**k off, stop doing that" is so irrevocably powerful that it's frustrating how many people don't understand that you can do that. I think it's a realization that has to come through your own little epiphany.
It's also frustrating how many people don't understand its not as simple as that for people suffering with mental illness.
That there is no way a country can have a strong economy if there's no support to science and education. Scientists are normal people who work their ass off to have a workplace, funding and their jobs taken seriously
There are no rules. There are laws, but there are no rules. You can do anything you wasn’t however you want. Don’t be afraid to let go once in a while and have ice cream for dinner, or stay up all night. You can live your life how you want and there’s no rule that says you can’t.
Counterargument: There is a Golden Rule that isn't law and there are CONSEQUENCES. You are not entitled to act in anyway detrimental to other people without consequence - even if there is no law specifically forbidding it. Eat ice cream for breakfast? Go for it. Bully and push your way to the front of the queue because you have the patience of a toddler? Be prepared to be refused service.
How to relax and enjoy life without taking yourself too seriously
When they are in the good times. It's only when you look back and reminisce that you realise how good you had it.
Or vice versa: how bad you had it and how good you have it now. Appreciation comes with comparison and awareness
That you came to this planet with only one thing - your body; and you should take good care of it. If you take good care of it all other problems become much smaller and tackle able.
To not stick (insert object) into (insert different, dangerous object)
This begs for a naughty answer, but I'll use all my will power not to do it.
Their limits when it comes to drinking alcohol.
Take responsability for your stuff.
Don't borrow money
This is how a lot of businesses get their seed capital, especially for entrepreneurs who weren't born in a wealthy family. In fact, my best friend has 3 successful restaurants and he got started from the ground up because he borrowed money. Sure, he had to pay back the interest, but now he has a steady stream of cash flow.
Maturity.
I have many subjects that I'm passionate about, and I seek out places to discuss but even if I meet someone that completely disagrees with me, it's not my job or my desire to change their opinion or even discuss the subject with them when it has nothing to do with that relationship.
And sometimes I'm absolutely terrible at following that rule.
I'd always rather make friends than enemies. It's tempting to make an "other" out of someone, but labeling someone a "libtard/drumpfer" reduces them to one subject matter and makes you lose out in what could be a valuable relationship that builds both of you up.
That being said, there are toxic people everywhere so have caution and prudence, but do your best to never dehumanize.
Figuring out my career.
Navigate conflicts without escalation and reaching a mutually desired outcome. Very important if you want to have and maintain a long term relationship.
not to cheat on their partners
Really? I'd have thought this one would have been blatently obvious!!
The deflector shield will be quite operational.
The deflector shield is like a swiss army knife, it is good for just about everything.
That it's okay to enjoy yourself in college when you are still young.
Safe fun of course.
Your experience helps you in life and grades aint s**t if you come out graduated with no clue how real life and people work.
OH and that you can disagree with someone, even on something important, and that doesn't make them a bad person nor does it make you one
It does if they don't believe in equality. Yes, the are bad people.
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Learn how to speak to a group. Public speaking. The first few times in front of an audience will be terrifying but push through.
But why do you have to "push yourself"? Isn't it better simply to choose a job that you don't have to do public speaking and make yourself do it if it terrifies you? What about "love yourself" and "don't make yourself do things you really don't want to do"? Not everybody needs to speak in public so just, why?
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that you can decline to be weighed at the Dr's office. (I suffered from eating disorders as a teenager, and I suffer/obsess over my weight. I've learned to maintain it by judging how my clothing is fitting.) I allow my Dr to record my weight twice yearly, but to not disclose it to me (unless they are concerned). Since adopting this policy, I'm much happier after an appointment, my clothes fit perfectly well and my Dr now seems less concerned with me as a set of statistics, more aware of my general well being.
The most important lesson I learned way too late in life is that it's more important to be true to yourself than to be what people expect you to be.
I'd add: Do NOT make your hobby your career/source of income. I keep making this mistake.
I learnt that in the 90's mate, playing shitty angry punk music in my mate's garage wasn't ever going to pay the bills.
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And earplugs! My husband's been a welder for over 40 years and blew off earplugs too often. He now wears hearing aids.
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Asking questions. I have a colleague who is still pretty new, so she asks plenty of questions, but is worried that she may be annoying. I told her it's better to ask questions and do your job well than to not say anything, make tons of mistakes, and barrel through the day like an idiot.
Trust your gut when it says "danger." Sure it can be wrong and probably has been on many occasions, but in dangerous situations it's usually right, and better safe than sorry.
What not to share on the internet? Your naked body. Don't do Only Fans, girls. It will follow you for the rest of your life, and you'll have opportunities denied to you if it ever comes out that you did soft porn for subscribers, and for what? For the enjoyment of some creepy dudes who lack the social skills to get a real girlfriend? For some McDonald's cash? You won't be making stacks. Save your dignity, and your future. Sex "work" isn't empowering. You've been lied to, and it isn't for your benefit. Save getting naked for sexy times with your partner, and treat yourself with the dignity you deserve.
So many of these I learned over 5 decades on the planet and some I'm still learning. Life is a full time gig. Until it's not.
My kids are 21 and 17...I always told them use a condom to protect yourself from HIV and STDS. Babies are the last thing you have to worry about! When ur in a relationship get tested frequently. I know its hard to bring up a child when u are young but I'd rather have a healthy grandchild and child than a dying one xx
Sometimes these articles are too long, I think I have finished and then it says another 45 images or something, if I start something I have to finish it.
But sunglasses give me a headache, I'll have to skin #5.
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Kids will eat their vegetables without fuss if they see you eating them too. Both my girls love carrots and broccoli and the oldest constantly steals pieces of sweet pepper while I'm preparing dinner!
The best life lesson I ever learned - People will treat you the way that you allow them to treat you.
Never touch hard drugs. this will bring you nothing but ruin. Don't drink more than 2 drinks of alcohol per day. 3 on special occasions. be independant from your parents. no matter how your parents say they love you, if you feel you're suffocating take your distances from them, and stay firm on your breathing zone. like Mom, i love you, but you come to my house only if you called before. And last, but not least, don't quit school. try to clear up your head about the job you'd like to do, and do it. but don't quit school. coz when you do, then it can be real tricky to be able to study again. Keep hope
And not just hard drugs. Don't underestimate the damage marijuana can do. You can smoke some from time to time, but smoking it on a regular basis can change a person. This is especially tricky when you're young. In your late teens it's not uncommon for a person to become more introverted and less interested in hanging out with his buddies. Only when looking back at this period in my life as an adult I realise I was going through my first mild depression. Especially considering the fact my behaviour changed back into being more extraverterd and socially active after I stopped smoking weed.
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If you tell yourself you can, you may be wrong. If you tell yourself you can't, you will definitely be right.
If you're very passionate about/involved in a social or political cause, take a deep hard look at yourself and try to determine: Am I doing this to help other people, or am I acting out resentment by lashing out at society? Like George Orwell once said: Most socialist actually don't care about the poor, they just hate the rich.
I love this. I feel like if people listened to this our world (especially my country, America) would be so much more peaceful.
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THE BIGGEST LATE LIFE LESSONS TO FINALLY LEARN: A little bird was enjoying a long summer in the far north. Suddenly, cold weather set in. The little guy had neglected to fly south for the winter. He was cold, sad, and most miserable. So he sets out flying south until his wings freeze up in a snow storm. He lands in a field next to a big cow, who promptly dumps on top of him an enormous pile of stinky cow poop. The little bird is now warm and snug under the steamy pile. He makes his way to the top of the pile and starts to sing because he is SOOO HAPPY. A cat hears the bird singing and goes over and eats him. MORALS TO BE FOUND IN THIS STORY: 1) Know when the party is over and it is time to leave. Don't be the last guest to leave. 2) Everyone who sh*ts on you is not your enemy. 3) The person who gets you out of a big stinking pile of s**t is not necessarily your friend. 4) If you are warm and happy sitting in a steaming pile of s**t, keep your mouth shut, relax, and enjoy it.
Wouldn't that be nice? To have life all figured out right from the start? Glad you did. Most of us don't.
Load More Replies... OH and that you can disagree with someone, even on something important, and that doesn't make them a bad person nor does it make you one
It does if they don't believe in equality. Yes, the are bad people.
Load More Replies... Learn how to speak to a group. Public speaking. The first few times in front of an audience will be terrifying but push through.
But why do you have to "push yourself"? Isn't it better simply to choose a job that you don't have to do public speaking and make yourself do it if it terrifies you? What about "love yourself" and "don't make yourself do things you really don't want to do"? Not everybody needs to speak in public so just, why?
Load More Replies... that you can decline to be weighed at the Dr's office. (I suffered from eating disorders as a teenager, and I suffer/obsess over my weight. I've learned to maintain it by judging how my clothing is fitting.) I allow my Dr to record my weight twice yearly, but to not disclose it to me (unless they are concerned). Since adopting this policy, I'm much happier after an appointment, my clothes fit perfectly well and my Dr now seems less concerned with me as a set of statistics, more aware of my general well being.
The most important lesson I learned way too late in life is that it's more important to be true to yourself than to be what people expect you to be.
I'd add: Do NOT make your hobby your career/source of income. I keep making this mistake.
I learnt that in the 90's mate, playing shitty angry punk music in my mate's garage wasn't ever going to pay the bills.
Load More Replies... And earplugs! My husband's been a welder for over 40 years and blew off earplugs too often. He now wears hearing aids.
Load More Replies... Asking questions. I have a colleague who is still pretty new, so she asks plenty of questions, but is worried that she may be annoying. I told her it's better to ask questions and do your job well than to not say anything, make tons of mistakes, and barrel through the day like an idiot.
Trust your gut when it says "danger." Sure it can be wrong and probably has been on many occasions, but in dangerous situations it's usually right, and better safe than sorry.
What not to share on the internet? Your naked body. Don't do Only Fans, girls. It will follow you for the rest of your life, and you'll have opportunities denied to you if it ever comes out that you did soft porn for subscribers, and for what? For the enjoyment of some creepy dudes who lack the social skills to get a real girlfriend? For some McDonald's cash? You won't be making stacks. Save your dignity, and your future. Sex "work" isn't empowering. You've been lied to, and it isn't for your benefit. Save getting naked for sexy times with your partner, and treat yourself with the dignity you deserve.
So many of these I learned over 5 decades on the planet and some I'm still learning. Life is a full time gig. Until it's not.
My kids are 21 and 17...I always told them use a condom to protect yourself from HIV and STDS. Babies are the last thing you have to worry about! When ur in a relationship get tested frequently. I know its hard to bring up a child when u are young but I'd rather have a healthy grandchild and child than a dying one xx
Sometimes these articles are too long, I think I have finished and then it says another 45 images or something, if I start something I have to finish it.
But sunglasses give me a headache, I'll have to skin #5.
Load More Replies... Kids will eat their vegetables without fuss if they see you eating them too. Both my girls love carrots and broccoli and the oldest constantly steals pieces of sweet pepper while I'm preparing dinner!
The best life lesson I ever learned - People will treat you the way that you allow them to treat you.
Never touch hard drugs. this will bring you nothing but ruin. Don't drink more than 2 drinks of alcohol per day. 3 on special occasions. be independant from your parents. no matter how your parents say they love you, if you feel you're suffocating take your distances from them, and stay firm on your breathing zone. like Mom, i love you, but you come to my house only if you called before. And last, but not least, don't quit school. try to clear up your head about the job you'd like to do, and do it. but don't quit school. coz when you do, then it can be real tricky to be able to study again. Keep hope
And not just hard drugs. Don't underestimate the damage marijuana can do. You can smoke some from time to time, but smoking it on a regular basis can change a person. This is especially tricky when you're young. In your late teens it's not uncommon for a person to become more introverted and less interested in hanging out with his buddies. Only when looking back at this period in my life as an adult I realise I was going through my first mild depression. Especially considering the fact my behaviour changed back into being more extraverterd and socially active after I stopped smoking weed.
Load More Replies... If you tell yourself you can, you may be wrong. If you tell yourself you can't, you will definitely be right.
If you're very passionate about/involved in a social or political cause, take a deep hard look at yourself and try to determine: Am I doing this to help other people, or am I acting out resentment by lashing out at society? Like George Orwell once said: Most socialist actually don't care about the poor, they just hate the rich.
I love this. I feel like if people listened to this our world (especially my country, America) would be so much more peaceful.
Load More Replies... THE BIGGEST LATE LIFE LESSONS TO FINALLY LEARN: A little bird was enjoying a long summer in the far north. Suddenly, cold weather set in. The little guy had neglected to fly south for the winter. He was cold, sad, and most miserable. So he sets out flying south until his wings freeze up in a snow storm. He lands in a field next to a big cow, who promptly dumps on top of him an enormous pile of stinky cow poop. The little bird is now warm and snug under the steamy pile. He makes his way to the top of the pile and starts to sing because he is SOOO HAPPY. A cat hears the bird singing and goes over and eats him. MORALS TO BE FOUND IN THIS STORY: 1) Know when the party is over and it is time to leave. Don't be the last guest to leave. 2) Everyone who sh*ts on you is not your enemy. 3) The person who gets you out of a big stinking pile of s**t is not necessarily your friend. 4) If you are warm and happy sitting in a steaming pile of s**t, keep your mouth shut, relax, and enjoy it.
Wouldn't that be nice? To have life all figured out right from the start? Glad you did. Most of us don't.
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