There are lots of things in the world we have to look out for. The "Dumb Ways" song laid it out for us pretty clearly more than 10 years ago. Yet, the Internet seems to find new dangers we should be aware of every other week. This time, we’re featuring submissions from people about the times they messed around and found out. One person online asked: “What, due to experience, do you know not to [mess] with?” And people came prepared with all sorts of stories and practical wisdom, from never engaging in road rage and never bothering a sleeping person to taking good care of your eyes.
This post may include affiliate links.
Iguanas. This happened about 25 years ago on a rare cold South Florida morning. My dad (big guy, with a soft spot for animals) found a "frozen" one in our backyard, and decided to bring it inside (in a closed off room) to warm up so that our dogs didn't get to it while it was offline. As soon as that thing warmed up, it was like a bat out of hell! Teeth, nails, and tail whipping cut him up pretty good. Eventually got it out with a broom, and all my dad muttered was "ungrateful bastard" lol
EDIT:
Alright this comment is getting more traction than I anticipated! Yes, I am aware that iguanas are an invasive species in FL. I am not aware if 25 years ago, if they were deemed as big of a threat as they are now and/or if that was as common knowledge back then.
What I DO know is that my dad took it as an opportunity to instill fascination and curiosity in me as a young child. He was able to safely show me it's spines and talons, and explain that reptiles are cold-blooded and what that meant. Even more than the mini science lesson, he showed me compassion for living things. Especially as a young child, I think I would have walked away with a very different impression if he just killed it. Would that have been the right thing to do? Maybe. But I think the happy memory and lessons I learned that day were more important than a single iguana being let free.
Intuition. If something feels wrong stop. It doesn't matter if it's stepping out onto a snow-covered slope, pulling up to a sketchy gas station, or putting too small of a piece of wood in a table router, listen when your brain tells you "This is a bad idea.".
Not finishing antibiotics. Just because you feel better doesn't mean you stop taking them.
Seatbelts.
Attended a friend’s funeral. He was riding the back seat and didn’t wear his seatbelt during a roadtrip, the driver was sleepy and hit a divider, the car spun out and he was flung out. He died during the ambulance ride, only 19 years old.
First thing I do when I get into any vehicle is to buckle up.
Fanatical born again Christians.
any religious person as soon as they start talking about their religion unprompted.
Badgers.
they may look friend shaped and may also respond to psspsspss but no touchy cos they scratchy bitey.
Never challenge a goose.
The sea.
But it’s ok to tickle it every now and again, just be prepared to swim away quickly ok?
Not listening to medical advice of a professional I am a nurse and have seen many people have horrible lives or deaths because they thought they were smarter.
Forget those nasty vaccines, try a coffee enema with some essential oils during a waning moon just like they said on Facebook 🤡
Food poisoning. If you've ever had it for real, your personal food safety standards will rise significantly.
My husband had food poisoning from old shrimp he found in the fridge. Did he learn anything? No. I STILL have to tell him he shouldn't eat certain things or should wash his hands after handling raw meat or respect expiration dates for some foods. I honestly don't know how he made it to adulthood.
Narcissists.
You know, just because a guy likes holding his jaw, it doesn't mean he's a narcissist. Besides, it's not like he's orange.
People in the middle of a road rage incident. It is amazing how a grown adult can absolutely lose their mind when inside a vehicle.
I’ve met plenty of kids who were more mature than their parent(s)
Load More Replies...Yes. At my old gym one of the personal trainers, nicest guy, got to work with him a few times, was involved in a road rage incident. Well, I should say he was a victim of, because he was minding his own business, walking on the sidewalk. Some road rage @$$hole drove up on the curb while chasing someone else in a vehicle, struck him. He lost the bottom half of one leg. Luckily lived. I saw him months later at a different gym, he had a prosthetic, he was working out and still crushing it. Amazing guy, just really unfortunate that happened to him. He didn't slow down tho!
People who suffer from road rage also suffer from grocery store rage, waiting in line rage and almost every other inconvenience rage you can think of.
This is why I have a rubber chicken in my car. If you get angry while driving, shout a bit and strangle the chicken. Get it out of your system. Then keep driving calmly.
I'd very much like to pull up at the traffic lights next to you 🤣
Load More Replies...People in general. I don’t understand feeling so entitled that what you want is more important than anybody else ever. And don’t even get me started on the whole “CuStOmEr Is AlWaYs RiGhT” attitude that seems to be taking over. Customers are a******s. They know it. You know it. Corporate knows it. But can’t lose that sale. That $15 is vital to the company surviving
I agree. And it extends far beyond retail. Yet here we are.
Load More Replies...Car companies encourage road raging in their advertising. Governments encourage road raging by not taking away licenses on the first offense. No driving for five years after yelling at pedestrians will get their attention.
Unfortunately, I did that once about 10 years ago. I'm sill embarrassed about it to this day. ☹️
That me first attitude these days, no one else matters while I am inside my little mobile world, screw everyone!!
Some times people also just break. They hit their mental capacity. You don't know what happened to them that day to lead them here.
That is not an excuse for taking it out on the people around you. My youngest daughter has a helluva temper and I taught her from a child how to calm herself down. Having a bad day does not equal free reign to be a d**k
Load More Replies...In the US, the odds are very high the the road rager has a loaded gun in the car. Act accordingly.
What *are* the odds, specifically? What is the number, and where did it come from?
Load More Replies...I mean.....if another driver isn't going to use their common sense then of course I'm going to get pissed off at them and yell out how much of a dumb f**k they are out the window
In other words: "If someone annoys me, I'll escalate the situation, making it not only worse but also riskier for everyone on the road."
Load More Replies...
Take care of your eyes (wear eye pro, mind what you’re doing, change contacts on time etc). A few years ago I got a small piece of metal in my eye. This became infected. Navy ships are nasty.
The infection was misdiagnosed three times. After four days everything seemed ok. On day five I woke up with my eye basically rotting from a rare bacterial infection. I was fortunate enough to keep the eye so I appear unaffected but my vision was permanently damaged. Long exposure to sunlight causes migraines if I don’t wear sunglasses. I’ve had to learn to do a lot of things in different ways. All around a life changing event.
Navy life in general is... sketchy. I got metal slivers in one eye, and have battled issues due to that for over 30 years now. Hearing issues. Back issues. Leg issues. It is a very tough and demanding field.
If you're traveling never f**k with the locals. I've seen people pick fights with one of the locals and 10 of his buddies came out from every shop around them.
Maybe don't pick fights in general. See someone about your need to compensate for your tiny manhood.
* People who believe they have nothing to lose. That could be a late-stage addict or your average teenager.
* Anyone with cauliflower ears.
I'm surprised BP didn't illustrate this one with an actual cauliflower
Don’t fight. You never know who’s carrying a knife or a gun until it’s too late. Life is not a fight scene in the movies, it’s 10X worse.
Don’t f**k with someone sleeping, easy way to get beat up by the nicest person.
Wake someone by shaking their foot..further away from any punching fists
Payday loans.
When you only get paid once every two weeks because it saves your company on payroll processing and rent is due on the first of the month, this can be an easy trap to fall into.
Construction sites.
They are one of the most dangerous places to be so you have to be paying attention all the time you are in site.
Nature.
To many people think because they go camping and few times a year and shoot their gun from time to time that they can do whatever they want in the wild.
Nature only has one goal, to kill you and turn you into plant food. We spend millions of years to adapt and get away from nature. That doesn’t we somehow we have mastered nature or are immune to it. Respect it and take calculated risks when you’re out there by yourself.
Nature isn’t even trying to kill you. Your death will just be the byproduct of nature doing what it does, it has no specific reason or need for you to die right now, your death is inevitable anyway, it’s not even focussed on you, you are insignificant and nature will wait, you get to choose how long you survive but remember one slip, one moment of thoughtlessness and guess what, nature will get you.
Alcohol. I had my run of ten years drinking, had an epiphany that alcohol was killing me, and nearly five years later, those in my life who didn't quit drinking are starting to frequent the hospital.
Yup, alcohol is very effective at making you feel good, and feel less. It doesn't make you "forget" per say, it makes you disappear from yourself. Alcoholics aren't stupid, this solution IS good and effective. It just becomes the only one left. And that's the issue. That's why saying to people "alcohol/tobacco/drg is bad" usually doesn't work. Because it has an actual real good effect (especially if you develloped physical dependency). The best way out is to seek help (professional if possible), build habits and shape your environnement to make quitting bearable.
Hydration.
Drink more water. Yes, you.
Swans during mating season. Think about a goose on steroids and three times bigger. They've been know to chase down jet skis and knock the driver into the water for getting to close to their nests.
The thermostat at my dad's house.
We never had a thermostat, but even so, Calvin & Hobbes taught me to never mess with one :D
Cacti with fuzzy spines. Compared to the ones with big pointy spikes, these are the real terrors.
It took like a week for all the tiny little spines to get worked out of my skin.
My cat would gently bite the clusters of spikes, then pull them off and drop them on the floor. They are not fun to pick from your feet.
Gas station sushi. One impulsive night in college taught me that bathroom floors are cold and unwelcoming places for contemplation.
Stray tom cats. I had one hand my butt to me. Had to get rabies shots and everything.
"If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember." --Sir Terry Pratchett
Do not try to sit in some elderly person’s favourite seat. Do not try to change any table arrangements like placing the coffee pots differently than they have been used to for the last Thursday of every month for 20+ years. You will never hear the end of it for the rest of your sorry life. Just keep it as usual. Which can be hard if you’re new at your workplace.
Apparently a statue of Mary was moved in my grandmother's garden after a big family visit, and somehow it was my mother's fault it was on the other side of the garden. Years later my grandmother would still remind everyone again and again about how the statue was moved.
Mentally unstable people.
You think you're crazy? Try arguing, fighting, or self-defending against a mentally unstable person.
Trains. They have absolutely no opinion of you and even less regard.
I nearly witnessed the death of a half dozen people who f****d with a train.
In the town do the college I attended there was a train track that ran right thru downtown, and divided the bar scene. Well one night a train had decided to rest in the middle of downtown, and prevented drunk college kids from traveling to more bars to get more drunk. A bunch of people decided to cross underneath the parked train, and admittedly, I too was tempted.
While a group was crossing underneath the train suddenly lurched forward about 6ft. One guy hit his head was bleeding pretty good, but everyone else was unharmed. I thought I was about to witness people separated from 1/2 of their bodies.
Another time, as a kid, my buddy and I were putting pennys on railroad tracks to squish them. We decided to try it with a quarter, but when the train passed the quarter shot out and out a bullet-sized hole in the concrete structure behind us.
Old people.
I saw a 65 year old on a cane Knock a 22 year old "fighter"...OUT. Not down...not over...and not use his cane.
Fighterboi was bullying a smaller teenager.
Crazy old man strength is real folks. Oldster may have trained but he still has the chops.
As a homeowner that has had a long list of s**t to do for a very very long time.
I do not f**k around with plumbing or garage doors. No f*****g way. Nuh uh. Nope.
Your workplace bosses.
It's very rare to have a boss that actually knows what he's doing, isn't insecure, and doesn't take his position as a place of power, so you'll most likely have bosses that are clueless, insecure and power hungry. Learn to respect their authority and do what you're told. If you're unsatisfied, leave.
If you confront your boss he'll make sure you regret it until the day you leave. It's not worth it.
Had a boss that was always on a daily power trip and started yelling at me over something I had no part of so I turned and walked away. His next words were, "I ought to write you up or better yet I ought to fire you", my response was, "I'll save you the trouble, I QUIT". He had the cajones to call me the next day and ask for the password to my computer driven machine which I somehow forgot overnight.............that's a $5000 service call for the manufacturer to send out a tech unless they wanted a $300,000 boat anchor.
Strangers. Flipped one off, he tracked me down and threatened to murder me.
I once thwacked a truck with my umbrella handle for almost running me over in a protected crosswalk. He tried to chase me. It was worth it.
Mountainous roads during or after a blizzard. I’ve seen a few people just die from turning corners too fast and hitting oncoming traffic. Bridges freeze and traffic backs up for hours. Seen plenty cars spinning out on black ice.
Recreational use of Benzodiazepines
Editing to provide context : I had a very rough 4 month patch in my early 20’s where I thought abusing xanax bars would be a better alternative than dealing with my life problems head on.
At the beginning I was taking 4-8mg a day just to sleep all day and avoid my problems/thoughts, by the final 4th month I was taking 16-24mg daily just to blackout and sleep all day. I remember nothing other than waking up & eating small meals + more xanax bars to fall back asleep every day, lost about 35 pounds during this period & had VERY intense withdrawals when I stopped cold turkey.
I still have rebound anxiety & body tremors 7 years later, I do not trust myself with benzodiazepines to this day & prefer to use beta blockers to help with the rebound anxiety nowadays.
I have benozdiazepines and opioids for chronic insomnia and severe restless legs syndrome. I only take them when I absolutely have to, don't want to add an addiction on top of my sleeping problems.
Significant others or friends who only seem to kind of like you.
Don't f**k with others food. Stealing their food off their plate can result in getting stabbed with a fork (my brother learned this the hard way) and messing with their food like adding stuff that typically wasn't meant to be in it could result in time in a federal prison (a cousin did time for adding peanut powder to a person's meal as a joke only they were allergic to peanuts).
Sleeping Black Snakes: I was out mountain biking early one spring morning, and this enormous (in my memory it was 8 feet long and big around as a beer can) black snake was lying across the trail in a patch of sunlight. Being the savvy and experienced outdoorsman that I am, I knew he had probably just woken up, and was still sleepy.
So I picked up a long stick and gently nudged his tail to encourage him to move aside. He was not sleepy, no, not even a little bit; he whipped his massive and toothy head around so fast I never even saw him move. One second he was lying there, the next he was hissing in my face.
The only reason he didn't tear me up is his tail was so far away from his head that I was still out of reach after he reacted. I slowly walked away backwards, and he didn't pursue me. I took another trail and left him to reign over his place in the sun.
The taxman..
You pay taxes on money you earn, taxed on money you spend and taxed on things you own that you already paid taxes on with your already taxed money.
My little cousin Peyton (not his real name), age 12 next month. More like a nephew, really. Middle of three boys. The quiet one. The one with the deadpan sense of humor. Never mess with the quiet one.
Example: His older brother's friend decided to "borrow" Peyton's video game system and take it back to his house. The kid in question is two years older, at least a foot taller, and probably 20-30 pounds heavier than Peyton. When Peyton found out, he rode his bike over to the kid's house and, without a word, beat the ever loving s**t out of him and then took his game system back.
The line in the family is, "Peyton is not to be f****d with." Lol.
My older brother Ron would come home from school looking as neat and tidy as when he left that morning. My mother would get hysterical phone calls about how Ron beat the snot out of someone's poor son. Ron always said that "I don't start fights I just finish them".
Strep throat. Got it ten years ago and thought it was just part of a cold that would go away in a few days. It ruptured my appendix.
I’m severely immunocompromised and just got it four weeks ago. Couldn’t swallow or breathe without crying in pain so I got antibiotics but still felt scratchy for the next week so I figured it was just damage and needed repairing. Went back this week after once again couldn’t swallow or do anything without crying. It didn’t go away the first time and came back with a vengeance.
I’ve had strep for a month now and I can’t take my life saving meds because of antibiotics and am hoping this doesn’t turn to scarlet fever, rheumatic fever, or toxic shock syndrome. Because that’s a thing too.
Cops.
Why would you mess with cops? Either they are bad eggs and you're in trouble or they are nice and then you have no reason to mess with them.
The Wu Tang Clan.
Hydraulics. They look innocent and easy to deal with. That stuff’s ready to cut bits of you off if you don’t know what you are doing. Are you trained and / or time served to be messing with hydraulic hoses and connectors? No? We’ll step away y’fool. Same goes for pressure vessels.
Bison. They may look docile and cute, but get too close to one and you'll find out how good your health insurance is at covering an ER visit. That is, if you're lucky.
If you're celebrating your birthday or whatever else in a bar or restaurant, please do not bring balloons. Especially if the establishment is frequented by military veterans.
Are balloons the issue or the way we manipulate, trick and ultimately dispose of our veterans?
Load More Replies...An ad for 24 hour full coverage foundation popped up on this list and I legit thought it was a deadly issue I’d never heard of 😂
Don't take on Busses or Semi's. Dumb drivers in my tourist town don't think about the fact big vehicles can't stop fast. The crashes are never pretty, and I've seen a LOT of crashes.
Don't screw with taxis either. My brother drove one while in college and he said they were heavy duty cars. This was a long time ago so maybe not anymore.
Load More Replies...Guns, I love guns ,but they will kill you before you know what happens, always assume they are loaded and never point them at anyone unless your life is in danger.
Basically every kind of basic thing you can imagine, like electricity. What's the point of this post?
Mostly to tell stories about how things turned out badly
Load More Replies...Hydraulics. They look innocent and easy to deal with. That stuff’s ready to cut bits of you off if you don’t know what you are doing. Are you trained and / or time served to be messing with hydraulic hoses and connectors? No? We’ll step away y’fool. Same goes for pressure vessels.
Bison. They may look docile and cute, but get too close to one and you'll find out how good your health insurance is at covering an ER visit. That is, if you're lucky.
If you're celebrating your birthday or whatever else in a bar or restaurant, please do not bring balloons. Especially if the establishment is frequented by military veterans.
Are balloons the issue or the way we manipulate, trick and ultimately dispose of our veterans?
Load More Replies...An ad for 24 hour full coverage foundation popped up on this list and I legit thought it was a deadly issue I’d never heard of 😂
Don't take on Busses or Semi's. Dumb drivers in my tourist town don't think about the fact big vehicles can't stop fast. The crashes are never pretty, and I've seen a LOT of crashes.
Don't screw with taxis either. My brother drove one while in college and he said they were heavy duty cars. This was a long time ago so maybe not anymore.
Load More Replies...Guns, I love guns ,but they will kill you before you know what happens, always assume they are loaded and never point them at anyone unless your life is in danger.
Basically every kind of basic thing you can imagine, like electricity. What's the point of this post?
Mostly to tell stories about how things turned out badly
Load More Replies...
