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There are some things that men will just ‘never’ understand—that’s how some women feel. And they shared these things in a thread on the r/AskReddit subreddit. User u/Top_Run4841’s question inspired them to open up about the unique issues that women face, from handling sexism at work and having to face stalkers to dealing with periods and more.
Scroll down to read about the most important women’s issues, according to the internet, dear Pandas. Upvote the posts that you think need to be seen by everyone, and let us know in the comments what you personally think that men will never get about women, ever.
Previously, human rights advocate Elizabeth Arif-Fear explained to Bored Panda that the most obvious marker of gender inequality is the gender pay gap that exists in the workplace. According to her, this is “a gross violation of women’s rights.”
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#1
Men will never understand what it feels like to be sexually assaulted, impregnated, and then told they can’t abort the fetus. I feel like you don’t get to have a problem with abortion if you can’t experience it. Goodness it makes me so livid when I hear a man, talk about protecting the fetus moreso than protecting the woman carrying said fetus
Bob D. Lin Quint 3 years ago
Aye, and those men are mostly offended by the unauthorized sex the woman had. As a man you can f**k away, but as a woman you're suppose to have restraint or you're a whore. And who does a pregnancy effect more if not entirely? They see pregnancy as a well deserved punishment
Marilyn leger 3 years ago
Anybody remember the U.S. representative who said women only had to hold an aspirin between their knees?
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Elaine Elder 3 years ago
And conservative a--holes standing on the floor of congress giving speeches saying "its not the government's job to pay for birth control" Then take away the rights of women to terminate a pregnancy because her abusive husband raped her. One man single handedly blocking funding to help children have enough food and safe place to sleep, because "it's not the government's job to raise children" These morons are all interchangeable.
Katiekat 3 years ago
Never doubt for a moment this is all about power, control, and dominance. It's not at all about "protecting" anyone or anything; that's a smokescreen. This is all about controlling and manipulating women's sexuality and life choice. It's about LIMITING women. It's about punishing women for being sexual human beings, and exercising choice.
Naesil 3 years ago
I have always had the opinion that women should have the last say about abortion, sure you can talk about it with your partner but still their body their choice.
Paul Davis 3 years ago
Don't forget the Republican pieces of garbage inventing out of thin air the idea that women have the magical ability to stop penetration from occurring so if they are penetrated and impregnated it's because they wanted it. Why any human being votes for these despicable, immoral, rape-loving, lying crap bags is beyond my comprehension.
Marik 3 years ago
Or when you have to prove that you were raped to be allowed to get an abortion. In germany doctors that are allowed to provide the service of a secured abortion, aren't allowed to provide full information about the actual process. In addition, the federal government decided im 1995 as an "abortion solution" that a compulsory councelation is in need (it's still in force) and that abortion are against the law (in principle), but remain exempt from punishment up to the 13th week of pregnancy (and the before mentioned counseling). According to that law I went against it, and just remained free of punishment b/c I have been fast enough to find a consultant and got an appointment at the one certified doc in my area on time.
Veronica Sjöberg 3 years ago
I get angry with people against abortion even without it being a result of rape. It's pure evil to force someone to go through pregnancy and childbirth with all risks. I'm even more mad at this now when I have 3 kids than I was pre-kids. Pregnancy and childbirth is no joke. It's HARD on your body and mind EVEN if you want the kid. And on top of that you could even get permanently damaged or die. People who think others, especially men, have a say regarding abortion have no idea how hard and scary it can be. Forcing someone to go through that, especially while being in a position where you can't even care for that child and will be forced to give it away is nothing but torture.
Susan Atkinson 3 years ago
These same men forget all about these babies and women as soon as the baby's born.
Summer Mason 3 years ago
And then these said dads or men who say this s**t normally don't have a relationship with the child. And the mom is forced to raise a kid she didn't plan on by herself on her own means while he can skip working and helping pay for the child's upbringing. And God forbid that mom pays an electric bill with child support cause "that's not raising my kid right". No kids don't need heat during winter..... usjdduejjdudusjs....🤬 anyways....
Charlie Taube 3 years ago
I have never understood the Christian aversion to abortion, I as a Christian have heard what Jesus wanted, He wouldn’t have wanted to someone to suffer just to bring into the world someone who will also suffer.
RELATED:
#2
Having guys assume that smiling, talking, or otherwise showing basic human decency to them means we're flirting.
Not Proud British 3 years ago
Even making eye contact, or just existing. We want to go about our daily lives without being hassled or hit upon. As for those men who will come to whinge about not being able to swap numbers with a girl anymore or what's wrong with flirting - there is nothing wrong with it, in context. If I am sat on a train with my headphones in then I DO NOT WANT CONTACT. If I am in a hurry on my way to work, if I am going for a jog, if I am doing the food shopping, etc I DO NOT WANT A STRANGER HITTING ON ME. It's that simple.
Daria B 3 years ago (edited)
This. But even when you do give it a try, please, don't be selfish about it. Give her the chance to tell you politely whether or not she'd be available for you, take her point of view in consideration. If it's a yes from her, congratulations, but don't push it. If it's a no, be a man (not a spoilt brat) and have the decency to respect it and move on.
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Vision Jinx 3 years ago (edited)
This is one that messes me up often. I am a pretty friendly person and people will read into that wrong. One time a guy talked to me and I talked back. He told me about himself and what not. Conversation was fine and I walked away. it escalated to "I want you to have my number", "I want you to come home with me", "I want to walk with you to your car". I never said 'no' more times in my life! He even insisted on walking me to my car even when I said no because he thought he was such a 'gentleman'. Dude grabbed me in the parking lot and begged for me to go home with him and that he'd make me breakfast (again with him going on about being such a 'gentleman'). Still no, no, NO! He shoves me against my car with his body. Forces me to hug him... Grabs my face trying to force a kiss... He finally leaves but not before he tries to make it out like I was being a b***h because I didn't want him. He got banned from the establishment we were at after this happened.
Jarrod Nichols 3 years ago
Some guys yes. Some guys no. You could have as neon sign and I still wouldn't think a girl was flirting with me. As you said, I would just assume she is being polite.
Vision Jinx 3 years ago (edited)
This is so my boyfriend. He is oblivious to how attractive he is. I will be in the bathroom and a girl always will be talking to him when I come back. You can tell from their behavior when I come back that they were hoping he was there alone. He can't detect flirting either. He thinks it is pure friendliness.
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Eimantas Žievys 3 years ago (edited)
Well this comes from the fact that men don't get comforted as often or interact with women on a daily basis as it's not "manly" and not expected from a man, times are changing, but this effect we're having comes from the fact that the average man is so starved for any sort of affection or comfort that he'll interpret most niceties as flirting as that just does not happen on a daily basis to us, it's quite rare to be honest. That being said, with maturity and experiences you end up figuring out what's what, but don't assume it's because we think with our genitals, it's not, we're just that starved for affection and comfort, a single compliment will be remembered years after by a guy as compliments are almost mythical, everyone just expects us to do our best without any compliments or support and to be fair, at this point, most of us are fine with it, just wanted to clear up the air regarding this, it's not due to sexual nature, it's due to neglect and lack of affection. I'm also not saying this as an excuse as we should make everyone around us comfortable in the end, i'm just explaining the misunderstanding here.
UncleRussian 3 years ago
Don't worry I don't assume anything because I am too dense to realize that someone is flirting when they are
Francie Patton 3 years ago
My parents taught me to look people in the eyes when speaking with them, which I think is generally good advice. However, I learned very early on that some people think it is a come-on.
Diana Jonkman 3 years ago
I have this all the time, being extra nice to people and men taking that as flirting and women getting jealous because they can't see that I am being nice to them as well and not only to the men.
#3
What an absolute annoyance having your period is. Everything about it is horrible.
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago (edited)
My kid asked why I had a wheat bag on my abdomen, I said I had cramps(not often that bad), he persisted so I just gave him a light overview, nothing too much or anything! He was very keen to be helpful, brought me water etc it was sweet. Next month bad cramps again , he asked what's wrong, I said 'same as last month honey remember, it's a month long pattern?' His response: 'Every month?!'. More explanations obviously needed in due course
Tracy Wallick 3 years ago
And on top of that, being called a psycho/monster/b***h by men while we're in pain
Aeon Flux 3 years ago
Being told it's "all in our minds," or that we're using periods as "an excuse" to act like bitches.
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Lukas-not-Luca (he/him) 3 years ago
Any time I'm frustrated or upset my mom goes, "Oh, she must be on her period" which hurts like hell because she's both misgendering me and dismissing my emotions
Ponyo (they/them) 3 years ago
and that it is not "a gift we should be thankful for" we are not just baby-makers
Vlacas12 3 years ago
That's something I do not like looking forward to when going on HRT someday. (For context: Trans people who take estrogen can have period symptoms)
Lukas-not-Luca (he/him) 3 years ago
Oh no... I didn't know that... I'm looking forward to LOSING my period when/if I go on HRT
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Vera Moiré 3 years ago
Yeah, "painful cramps are normal', they said. Well, they were not.
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Jasper Cool 3 years ago
It's not just cramps and bloating the fatigue and feeling cold gets to me too. The level of fatigue for me is not comparable to anything else except when I'm extremely sick. So once a month I have a day when I'm completely useless because of it. In my teens and early 20's my period was so painful that nothing really reduced the cramps. After going through labor I'd say the cramps were close to as painful as contractions.
Arif-Fear feels that, in the West, the talents of female employees are definitely recognized. However, there are still obstacles that they face. Obstacles that need to be torn down.
“Discrimination includes women being denied work, in preference for men due to maternity leave allowances. Due to the imbalance between caring for children and housework among male/female partnerships—which is still prevalent across the globe—women are left juggling a high amount of childcare and work which places extra demands on women,” she pointed out.
#4
Laughing, coughing or sneezing - and promptly giving birth to a red jellyfish.
Farmboyatheart 3 years ago
My poor wife and sister do this often. I feel so bad for them. I can't understand the pain, but I can get treats, food, and pads whenever they need them.
Jaekry 3 years ago
That would be enough for me. I don't even fully understand this/my behaviour. I just know I'm miserable. That's enough. A blanket, a tea, a distant cuddle, space to be ... Me.
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Lola 3 years ago
And thinking that you now have a red stain with the diameter of a beach ball on your pants.
Louloubelle 3 years ago
Yes. I always had a sweater with me when I had my period. Just in case I needed to tie it around my waist. Such fun.
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Brandi VanSteenwyk 3 years ago
Stunned then.... ROFLMAO!! I thought I was alone in this experience.
LynzCatastrophe 3 years ago (edited)
It's worse when suddenly it just starts, for lack if a better word, gushing. I was on a bus once on my way to l university to take an exam, hit a rough stretch of road, sneezed for some reason because of this, and suddenly the most horrible sensation. Tampon failed its job here's bloody bus seat and pants. I wanted to die. They somehow have gotten worse as I've gotten older.
Tamara Kroonen 3 years ago
Not only the red, what about the excessive white fluids some unfortunate women have every.single.day who ALWAYS have to wear pads.
#5
The excitement of pockets in our clothes. Actual, helpful pockets.
Sissi Gilmour 3 years ago
Last weekend I wore a pair of my boyfriends old jeans and he was so confused when I was so happy that my phone fit all the way into the pocket.
Sareaesque 3 years ago
I ended up stealing a pair of my fiance's jeans because they fit me perfectly but didn't fit him quite right. The first few times I wore them he couldn't get over seeing me walking around with my hands wrist deep in the pockets with a smile on my face. I still put my phone in them and forget it's there because it's not constantly digging into my hip.
Load More Replies... Ponyo (they/them) 3 years ago
my friend who is a guy can fit an entire Nintendo switch in the pocket of his SKINNY jeans
oddly_informed_raven 3 years ago
the ELATION when I found comfortable leggings with good-sized pockets...
Red 3 years ago
That's how I taught myself to alter my clothes. I wanted pockets, but every bottom I owned had only fake ones, so I made my own pockets. My first attempt was dreadful, I call them Frankenstein pockets because I didn't have enough fabric and had to stich pieces together to form something useful. Anyway, I'm glad companies are making feminine clothes with actual pockets now, but I'm actually thankful for the skill the fake ones forced me to learn.
My O My 3 years ago
My toddler girl started refusing clothing without pockets. And she isn't even 3 yet
Guy Smets 3 years ago
This 3 yr old is smarter than most adult women... :D
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Isaac7lego 3 years ago
I have the opposite problem, as a dude its kinda hard for me to carry a purse so I use my pockets but then I look like I am constantly shoplifting
Sage Gusano 3 years ago
My wife "This dress is beautiful!!! Oh....no pockets." Puts it back on the rack.
Lovin' Life 3 years ago
I would love to have some pockets in my Jean's that are useable. When I get to feeling anxious, I like to put my hands in my back pockets. There is something comforting about that to me.
#6
How young being preyed on by men starts. I was first ogled and cat called by men when I was 9 and was groped when I was 11. At a public library. While playing runescape.
This is not to say this doesn't happen a.t all to boys. It just happens to girls at a far higher rate
Not Proud British 3 years ago
1 in 9 girls experience sexual abuse. 1 in 53 boys. https://www.rainn.org/statistics/children-and-teens
Martin Kaine 3 years ago
As horrifying as those numbers are, I'm sure the ratios are much smaller, like probably 1 in 4 for girls (I couldn't even guess as to what rate boys are actually victimized).
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Miss Marmite 3 years ago
and then a lot of people blame it on the women for “dressing like sluts” as if it’s their fault they were assaulted. it makes me so mad and upset that young girls are getting raped and groped and people are blaming them
Vivian Ashe 3 years ago
And yet so many families assume their daughters are misinterpreting or overreacting when they mention a man's inappropriate behavior toward them. Too many parents think their daughters are too young or innocent to really interpret what's happening, and it must just be a misunderstanding. If a child senses that an adult is being creepy toward them, it needs to be taken seriously.
Aria Whitaker 3 years ago
Or, even worse, the opposite. I have seen some that blame the 10 year old girl for "being fast" or "acting grown" around the man, "causing" him to be flirtatious. It is a disgusting mindset that blames the girl child for the creepy actions of a grown man and I never see it when referring to boys.
Load More Replies... Summer Mason 3 years ago
I can't even with this one. DO NOT SEXUALIZE children. Ever. Your a nasty ass human being if you do. I will never tell my daughters to cover up when a male is coming over for a visit. But I sure as f**k will punch him in the face if i catch him staring at any of my children.
August Martin 3 years ago
My cousins were six. It's honestly disgusting how high the rates are
Karen Wenzel 3 years ago (edited)
I was 7 years old when I was raped by my downstairs neighbor who's supposed to be babysitting me he was an old man his wife was pregnant and then I come to find out later that he paid my sperm donor to allow him to do that
Rachel Cobb 3 years ago
I first got ogled and almost hit on when I was 11. My parents were on a test-drive for a car, so I was stuck in the back with him. 👨🦲👩▪️👨💼🙍♀️
The human rights advocate believes that employers could help solve some of those issues by allowing flexible schedules so that parents can drop their kids off at school in the mornings. But even that, in her opinion, isn’t enough.
“Practical barriers add an extra burden onto women. Beyond childcare, women in leadership is an area that is evolving but there is still a massive glass ceiling. We need more women in leadership positions,” she said.
#7
How the safety of where we go is always there. Like, I would love to go camping alone somewhere… would I? Nope. Leaving a store at night, we have to be on guard. Walking the dog at night or through woods alone? Always on guard.
Not Proud British 3 years ago
Men say they feel uncomfortable walking alone at night too, but I think women feel it for different reasons. Men don't want to be mugged or jumped. Women don't want to be sexually assaulted, raped, mugged or jumped.
Mary Lou 3 years ago (edited)
I think one thing men often don´t understand is that it´s not just the big crimes we fear, but the little creepy situations many may have experienced already: some pervert trying to grab you intimately while passing you on the sidewalk at night; blocking your way thinking it fun to `flirt ´ with you while crossing the dark park; the bunch of drunken guys who make remarks about joining them while you wait for the bus and no one else around... I mean most people rarely get jumped or mugged and there are rather few people out there who really commit such crimes, but guys who might get angry and at least verbaly abusive when drunk and you don´t respond to their "friendly conversation while waiting for the train" - now those are quite common
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Gregory Mead 3 years ago
From my mid-20s to my mid-30s, I did a lot of cross country driving (and moving), and camped out, alone, along the way, everywhere from highway rest stops to national parks. It wasn't until I was probably in my 50s that it occurred to me that if I'd been a woman, I never would have been able to do that.
Axolotl King 3 years ago
Pretty much being anywhere alone really. (For context here I'm 14.) I was in a hotel 2 weeks ago for my sisters cheer competition. The hotel was built as a right angle, and it's like 6 stories tall. We were staying on the 5th floor. The elevator is right at the corner on each floor. It was our last day there and there was a fitness center on the 2nd floor so my mom sent me to fill up water bottles for that day. Anyways as I was approaching the elevator room thing, I heard footsteps coming from the other way so I slowed down and made sure I was walking lightly. I heard them get to the elevator room which luckily you couldn't see me from where they were, and I heard them clear their throat and it sounded like a big man. So I waited until I heard the elevator open and them get in and the doors close before I walked in there, because I was afraid they'd hold the door open for me and then I'd be in there alone with them. I've luckily never had anything bad happen to me but still...
Lovin' Life 3 years ago
I am not afraid of the dark bit rather what is in the dark. My sense of direction is terrible so I cannot walk through the woods without an escort, but still do so with caution.
Njushka 3 years ago
This is why I took martial arts as an adult. The next time something happened, I was prepared. The looks of disbelief I got, followed by fear, was the most empowering feeling ever. Those men will at least second guess themselves next time. Now, I walk around confidently with a "come at me bro" air oozing out of me. It seems to keep the creeps at bay.
Donna Harris 3 years ago
I live in a rural community and I see women going walking....not doing it....every freakin' story starts off with...on a deserted country road. I live in the country and I've got a nice big pittie with me when I'm working outside. Women just always have to be aware of their surroundings no matter where they are. My husband was surprised when I said this to him....he's six feet tall two hundred pounds and he has to be afraid of being mugged...for women there's so much more
zak 3 years ago
I'm fully aware of this issue for women, and I always try to minimize/eliminate my actions from contributing to it whenever possible. Life is hard enough as it is, so if I can avoid causing someone undue distress by consciously staying mindful of how my movements/actions could be interpreted by someone else, then it's a very small sacrifice to make.
#8
How much effing free labor we are expected to do for everyone, at home, at work, and everywhere. Planning, preparing and cleaning up from office birthday parties, holiday meals, weddings, funerals, etc. etc. Being the “default parent” who knows the family schedule, the pediatrician’s number, whether we need more peanut butter and eggs. Always running scripts in the back of your mind to make sure you’re not being TOO friendly to your male coworkers/boss/a stranger so you’re not giving anyone the “wrong idea,” but also being friendly enough to not bruise a man’s ego. Being a woman is a full time job that we aren’t paid for and it’s f**king exhausting. InB4 “I’m a dad and I know my kid’s doctor’s number, my wife doesn’t do anything” Good for you, you’re an outlier and get a cookie.
Omi bub 3 years ago
Also see: being held responsible for remembering, buying gifts & sending cards for every birthday, anniversary etc.
Brivid 3 years ago (edited)
And you have to look hot while doing all of that stuff!
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Amanda Nolting 3 years ago
God yes, this. My husband and I both work full time. But when he gets off work he goes and cycles with his friends. Or comes home and turns on the tv. I have to clean, cook dinner, clean after dinner, take care of whatever our daughter needs. I have to do all the meal planning and grocery shopping. All the shopping for his family and mine on holidays, including all our daughter's gifts. I'm expected to remember literally everything about everyone. His words: "Well I'm not doing housework and chores on my 2 days off." But he's "tired" after work so yeah. I'm tired too dammit.
New Everywhere 3 years ago
When you're ready tell him this. If you can tell us, you can certainly tell the man who loves you. Don't spend your life with that nugget of resentment in your chest.
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Marco Conti 3 years ago
That's why I am a firm believer people should live together before marriage. As roommates and with an exit plan, just in case. You see red flags and leave. Sure, easier said than done, but better than discovering it after marriage and a couple of kids. For the record, my wife has been ill for 20 years, so I do all the cleaning, vacuuming and cooking. She makes breakfast (killer cappuccino) and pays the bills. Works for us. The only thing I won't do? Fold her clothes. She would find me 2 hours later still working on a shirt where I can't figure out the sleeves from the collar or if it is just a bunch of scrunchies glued together.
Veronica Sjöberg 3 years ago
People change more after having kids vs living together, at least in my experience (still married to my second husband, kids with both) I'd say couples share housework and household planning pretty equal before having kids so it's no problem then. It's after kids it gets 10x harder and it's easy to fall in to old structures.
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Katiekat 3 years ago
You have a choice to do it or not. There are repercussions from not doing it, but they don't last forever, and you can train people to DO IT THEMSELVES. Life is freer and better.
Susie Elle 3 years ago
I hate to admit it but I sometimes employ the 'feigned stupidity' that an ex-boyfriend used to pull on me - kind of fake not knowing how to do a certain thing just so you can escape the responsibility.
Eleanor Green 3 years ago
Yup, done this, it worked. You're treated like it's part of your job description and no one even asks if you're okay with it (I'm not). Oh, if you just say no, you're "difficult". Never once been in a workplace where a straight man was volunteered. So, I have no problem with it.
Load More Replies... LynzCatastrophe 3 years ago
If your ego is fragile enough to be bruised by rejection, I'm not catering to it. I fully admit I'm a rude b***h and will break your nose if you do ANYTHING threatening towards me.
Aubrie Allen 3 years ago
I'm the only one working right now, so I asked my dude to start taking over the house work and he just flatly said no. What the f**k is that? So I have to work, pay for everything and still mop and sweep? Great.
Otter 3 years ago
So he contributes nothing practical to the relationship? Honey, if he isn't absolute magic in bed, it may be time for him to go live with his parents.
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K Witmer 3 years ago
I'm going through this right now seven fold. My husband and daughter don't give me a moments peace and I have nowhere to go to get any. Then when I'm not 100% engaged whenever they need me they get upset. Just reading these posts has taken me since 6am and it's now 2pm. They keep asking for stuff or want to complain about whatever they're going through almost every 15 mins. It's been this way especially for the past couple of years. They are both adults and yet they expect me to put everything I need very last. I haven't been to the dentist in two years. I've had to postpone my appointments three times now bc of them and their priorities. My husband scheduling minor surgeries my daughter experiencing problems bc of her stupid boyfriend I cannot stand. My dogs also take priority bc of course they do. It really is a thankless job.
Vanja Vidovic 3 years ago
K Witmer, honey, this behaviour will stop only and only when YOU decide that it is enough. They will never change by themselves.
Load More Replies... #9
That even though we might be "prettier if we smiled", we literally can't do that even if we want to, because smiling is interpreted by too many men as a sexual invitation. Men are drawn to smiling women like sharks to a bleeding baby seal.
Please, just let me laugh at my comedy podcast in peace, I implore you all.
Summer Mason 3 years ago
I just buck my front teeth out over my bottom lip. Seems to work.
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Peej Maybe 3 years ago
Oh god, the hated "Cheer up love! Give us a Smile!" that seems to be the default mating call of every lowbrow male ever...
Lovin' Life 3 years ago
I love to smile. It's a way that I try to combat depression. But by no means is it an invitation.
Marco Conti 3 years ago
This is so sad. I grew up in Italy and when I was in the Army it was basically a dormitory full of virgins telling tall tales about their conquests. More than once I asked them if they'd talk like that about their sisters or mothers and all I got was either blank stares or "Are you gay lieutenant?". No, I am not gay, just tired of hearing about your d***s playing a leading role in a fantasy novel.
Frankenfrog 3 years ago
"I'll smile when my d*ck is in your mouth". That'll shut them right up.
Jasper Cool 3 years ago
The last time a man told me to smile I was sitting eating lunch and worrying about my niece who had been hospitalized after a suicide attempt. He walked by me and said "you could at least smile" and I said, well I'm dealing with some rough things. And that a$$hole doubled down and repeated "you could at least smile".
Otter 3 years ago
I've actually said "Do you want to hear about why I'm not smiling?", with an accompanying death glare. It frightens away the jerks.
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K Sarfo 3 years ago
I smile to every stranger that catches eye contact, but I walk like the wind so no way of catching a conversation. And Im in Norway, so people generally dont speak to stranger, but some people light up like its the first smile they have seen in days. I can do this because i have a big mouth when i need to stop bullskittlers and my eyes can also kill if I need to.
Natalia Allen 3 years ago
This "some people light up like it's the first smile they have seen in days" So true for so many. The world needs more smiles :)
Load More Replies...One extremely frustrating issue that women face is the fact that many of their clothes either don’t have pockets at all or the pockets are non-functional. However, this issue might be a practical one, not a political one.
Sewing and design expert Roxanne explained to Bored Panda during a previous interview that it’s normal to want pockets for their functionality.
"I think women love pockets for the functionality. We don’t always want to carry things in our hands, especially our phones. When I wear a dress with pockets, my hands naturally gravitate toward the pocket. I’m not sure why. It’s just comfortable,” she said.
#10
How your issues are never taken seriously and are always either chalked up to your period or a moral failing. I first started getting symptoms of Celiac disease when I was fourteen. I was diagnosed at 21. I spent seven years getting told my constellation of horror show symptoms was just my period. I was diagnosed with autism at 26. I spent my entire life being told I was a s**tty person because I didn't understand socialization like other women. Every faux pas was just viewed as intentional malice on my part, and treated about as harshly as you'd expect. You know. Little stuff like that.
Omi bub 3 years ago
There is huge amount of research that shows this happens for so many illnesses. Man presents with back pain- MRI & pain relief, woman presents with back pain "have you tried a hot bath?".
RoseTheMad 3 years ago (edited)
More like: Women presents with any symptom: "maybe lose some weight?" like seriously I feel like screaming at them M**********R I LOST 30 POUNDS AND YOU STILL TELL ME THIS S**T. (yes I'm still chubby but not excessively, not anymore at least. I see plenty of people, men and women, bigger than me ffs) at least I finally got diagnosed with chronic pain (Fibromyalgia) last year after having the pain since I was a teenager.. for reference, I just turned 26, so it took them around a decade to figure it out. ugh.
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Jasper Cool 3 years ago
The amount of times medical things have been attributed to anxiety for me. Breathing issues? Must be anxiety. Nope it was asthma. Excruciating pelvic pain? Must be anxiety. Nope it was a burst ovarian cyst. Other excruciating abdominal pain? Must be anxiety. Nope it was my gallbladder failing. And my favorite was stroke like symptoms and horrible head pain. Got told it was anxiety, psychological issues, or hysteria by three different male doctors. Turns out it was hemiplegic migraines. But the good news is now I do have extreme anxiety about going for any kind of medical treatment.
Vivian Ashe 3 years ago
I didn't realize how systemic this is in the medical field until I got married. My husband will go to the doctor with flu-like symptoms and be given tests and medications. I will go to the same doctor days later with the same symptoms, suspecting that I caught whatever he has. I will be given no tests or medications, told to go home and rest, and oh, by the way... I'll probably feel better if I lose 10 pounds. If I push back on that, they imply that I'm some sort of hypochondriac or drug seeker. (This has happened more than once, and with more than one doctor.)
Ponyo (they/them) 3 years ago
and if it is actually just your period, you still need treatment. if it interferes with your daily life,then it is a disorder. doctors always treat periods as then exception
The Queen Of Upper Butt Crack 3 years ago
Went to Dr many times, referred to a specialist for pain and periods so heavy I would bleed through triple protection in minutes. Specialist couldnt find anything and suggested it was all in my head. Drove myself to an ER less than a month later, pain was so bad but I didnt want to waste more people time. They were able to find " a tumor the size of a small chicken" and I had emergency surgery.
Debb 3 years ago
It took 12 years of my daughter's being told it's 'just anxiety' and a stay in a psychiatric hospital to finally be diagnosed with chronic Lymes disease.
ZAPanda 3 years ago (edited)
can confirm the autism thing, undiagnosed for over 40 years. Terrible experience of people as a result, basically think people are irrational psychopaths bent on torturing me because they just can't stand being told honest truths or given straight answers. When you try explain it to people they are like "nah you can control it" or "nah you just want to be an a*****e". No, you are just pathetic and do these pathetic lying dishonest dances to avoid describing the planet objectively. fml.
#11
They will probably never understand the things we do out of fear. Also, when a fart rolls up to the front of your vag lips.
Naesil 3 years ago
Sitting on a leather seat in a certain way and we can feel the fart bubbling past our balls :D
Auntriarch 3 years ago
Hahaha, common ground here, I'm no lady, it always makes me laugh
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Got Myself 4 Dwarves 3 years ago
When that bubble slips upward and you have to sit twisting and manipulating yourself into weird poses to queef the f****r out
totally a german 3 years ago
i read this, and now i am severely traumatized, my god even women's bodies are out to get them...
Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago
🤣 is this not about things that men can't understand about women? That's definitely something that fits and will almost universally get women to laugh (some uncomfortably) in understanding.
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#12
That turning us on needs to happen waaaay before you even get our clothes off.
Donna Harris 3 years ago
My husband gets this...he says it starts in the morning with making breakfast
Hannah Bridges 3 years ago
Bonus if shirtless so you can state at their arms. No seriously guys, clean the house like vacuuming, dishes, dusting etc but do it shirtless. Ultimate turn on.
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Oogiebogieaugiedaddy 3 years ago
My neighbor's across the street have five kids. The husband, an insecure pig that expects his wife to do ABSOLUTELY Everything! Made the comment she doesn't work like I do. I said you're right, she works 10 times harder than you. What a pig!!!! He cheated on her with the neighbor three doors up. She would walk down the street and they would stand in his driveway groping and slobbering all over each other. I wrote her a letter telling her what was going on. She hated me for telling her. Oh well he was not a prize. He married that girlfriend. He has to have a slave to take care of him.
Kanuli 3 years ago
This depends also on daily horniness level. There are times a kiss is enough, and others an allaround full body massage, cuddle programm. Also: this can shift like within minutes.
Oogiebogieaugiedaddy 3 years ago
A man's idea about sex is I thought about you naked and I have a boner.
Cindy Snow 3 years ago
That women don’t appreciate no lube and just jamming it in there without any foreplay
“I think a lot of women’s clothing lack pockets for one simple reason: women have curves. When there is an opening at a stress point, such as at the hips, the fabric will naturally flare out. This is particularly evident in form-fitting clothing,” Roxanne suggested that the lack of pockets in women’s clothing has barely anything to do with political or social reasons.
“There are several ways to solve the problem: redesign the garment with a looser fit, secure the fabric with a zipper or button closure, relocate the pocket, or, here’s the big one… redesign the pocket shape,” the expert said.
#13
Bras hurt. Sometimes the wire breaks free and attempts to impale the [chest].
kathoco 3 years ago
I just want to say that this is true, bras can be uncomfortable, especially if they don't fit well, and if the underwire breaks it can be painful. But I like wearing a bra, I like the way it looks, I have well-fitting bras that I don't notice I'm even wearing and don't feel the need to take off as soon as I get home. And when I have mastalgia for a week or two before my period, wearing a bra definitely eases the pain. Just another point of view on bras.
Natalie Bohrteller 3 years ago
Finally someone else, I thought I was the only one who didn't have any problems with them. I really think that many women don't know their real size...
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Daria B 3 years ago
Bras CAN but don't have to hurt. Make sure you pick the one that's right for you. And yes, I know it's tough, but it's worth the effort. That's, if you need one. If you need no support, then, yeah, don't bother.
Remi Flynne 3 years ago
Trouble is, and I don't think this gets said enough, even a favourite bra might not fit all of the month! Breasts can get swollen and painful due to our hormonal cycle.
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Enby.Minecraft.Bee. 3 years ago
This is why i wear sports bras. SInce i cant sleep with my binder on they are a great alternative and i don't have to worry about this.
Izzy Curer 3 years ago (edited)
I like to get one 3 times too big and wear it more as an undershirt
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Huddo's sister 3 years ago
Depends where you shop though unfortunately. I did find out the other day that Big W had a large range of wire free which was great.
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xXCloudy_PuffXx 3 years ago
I normally find it more comfortable to wear a bra. Cuz if I don't for a few days my chest starts to hurt. I also like only wear sports bras so that may be part of it
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
I also prefer bras, as my breasts get to heavy and sore otherwise. My sister also wears mostly sports or other wire free ones. My grandma was the same.
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Jenny Lorenz 3 years ago
When the wire pokes out, its just time to throw that one away and replace it
Karis Ravenhill 3 years ago
Abandoned them during covid, haven't worn one in two years. I put one on recently for a job interview, hurt and was uncomfortable all day, got home, yanked the thing off and threw it in the trash. Threw them all in the trash. No more bra's, i'm fuc*ing done.
Jo Johannsen 3 years ago
To each her own, but the day I retired, I drove home, took off the bra, and have never put one on again.
#14
The social expectation to wear makeup all the time. We're literally told that our FACES are socially unacceptable unless coated in intricate and expensive layers of artificial substances. How screwed up is that?
Peej Maybe 3 years ago
See also: Shaving. I cannot believe we're this far into the 21st century and people still get freaked out by a woman with armpit hair
Mii 3 years ago
Or leg hair. If you saw my legs you'd think I was a man, but I just refuse to shave. My skin doesn't like it
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ZAPanda 3 years ago (edited)
Do you have to wear it though? I'm wondering if it's not a geographical thing, most of the women I work with do not.
oddly_informed_raven 3 years ago
workplaces are legally allowed to require makeup
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LynzCatastrophe 3 years ago
I wear makeup for myself only. And then I'll look like a drag queen for the hell of it. My armpits are shaved because the hair there just itches me endlessly, but I'll shave my damn legs if and when I feel like it. It may be a long wait.
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
Oh God, the itching and the smell are why I shave my armpits! Apparently I'm lying to myself about this being the reason, according to my stepdad...
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Aliquid 3 years ago
My wife doesn't wear makeup, and I'm trying to convince my daughter to do the same... but who knows what peer pressure will do
Jamma 3 years ago
Don't try to convince your daughter of what choices to make. It's her life and her look.
Load More Replies... Katiekat 3 years ago
NOPE, I'm 54 today 2/14/2022, and have not worn makeup for DECADES other than for pictures at school when I was still a teacher. This is me, the real me. Don't like it, then leave. Again, other people's expectations don't mean your obligation.
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
Haha, I didn't even wear it for photos most of the time when I was teaching because it's not part of my normal routine so forgot it even when I remembered what day it was :)
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How draining the constant misogyny is.
“Shaping the opening into a slant or curve will allow the opening to wrap around the curve without resulting in bulging, excess fabric. This pocket style does change the original look of the garment, so the designer would ultimately decide if it works with their vision. I recently drafted a curved pocket pattern for a form-fitting dress, demonstrating that it is possible!”
“I don’t think there is any political or social reason for the shortage of pockets. Most designers are trying to appeal to the desires of their target demographic, in this case, usually a slimming silhouette that doesn’t draw attention to areas many of us want to minimize.”
#16
What it's like to live in a society that favours men in most things. Look at the comments here. As soon as women try to say that they aren't treated the same at school or work etc then men say it's not true. But how would they know? The vast majority have never had to experience inequality because they are a man. We say we're scared of walking at night but then we get gaslit from men who say that crimes against men are higher. Men are rarely targeted because of their sex, women are targeted because they are a woman all the time. Look at the news for example, hundreds and hundreds of women getting attacked and murdered in the street by men. Ask yourself how often that happens the other way round? Where women stalk men in the street and come behind them and beat them to death? Or pull them into alleyways and sexually assault them? The vast majority of men haven't had to think about what they're wearing to try and improve their safety, or walk with their keys in their knuckles because you're on alert from a random attack walking to your car. Or how unsafe you feel when you have to get a plumber or electrician to your home and you live alone. All of these are real issues for women that men deny despite the majority of them never experiencing sex based crimes, and definitely not in the numbers women do. And of course men's issues are equally important. But if you only bring them up in response to a women bringing up issues about women's rights then you're doing it to deny what she's saying about her own experiences. There's a reason why women protest in the street and have womens marches to advocate for basic human rights. I've never seen a male protest to highlight gender based inequality for men.
Paul Davis 3 years ago (edited)
I've seen the same glib, smug reaction from my fellow white men when they talk about people of color being shot at traffic stops. Since they never expect to be murdered by cops for the fun of it, they don't think it's real or that it's a problem at all.
madbakes 3 years ago
Interesting... The men commenting on other posts in this thread about "men too" haven't commented at all on this one.
The Starsong Princess 3 years ago
Men don’t understand that there are men who get off but making women upset and afraid. So much of catcalling is about that - they don’t expect the woman to feel complimented or attracted to them. They want her to be afraid so they feel powerful. Some years ago, I was working in a store and a guy started whispering vile things to the 15 year clerk. He was loving that she was terrified. She told me and I called him out in front of the whole store while she called security. A few of the women customers joined in on calling him a pervert. But really, why does this happen?
Got Myself 4 Dwarves 3 years ago
I was talking about mental health the other day and of course someone pipes up with the fact more men commit suicide than women. It's a fact, yes, but it's twisting statistics so suit an agenda - ie here saying men have it worse off than women, aka pipe down sweetheart. Yes, more men successfully Kill themselves, but more women attempt suicide. Women chose more passive methods of suicide, like pills, whereas men will choose more violent, fast acting methods like guns, jumping, hanging - which gives more immediate "results" and less likelihood of being found while in a condition that is saveable. Why is everything turned into a competition? Why can't people just be people, and as such people are suffering.
Susie Elle 3 years ago (edited)
Prevalence doesn't equal importance, but urgency. EDIT: never mind, I'm disagreeing with my past-self on this one :')
Insert Generic Username 3 years ago
This needs to be waaaaaaay higher up on this list. My own mother admitted that she didn't want to have any female children because of the things listed above.
Marco Conti 3 years ago
I think there is a more profound problem at play here. Men obviously cannot know what's like to be a woman and especially a woman in constant fear. I include myself since I am guy and usually not the target of sexual advances (or worse). However, I like to think I have a refined sense of empathy and I don't need to be raped or be afraid of it to empathize. Lack of empathy is really the biggest issue. Look at how many conservatives fought against gay marriage and rights until they discovered they had a gay son or daughter, then suddenly they changed their tune. Same with health care. Until it happens to them, it's not an issue. That's an inability to see things from a different viewpoint, or empathy, as we call it.
Tobias Rieper 3 years ago
while to do agree with this and i think it is wrong when guys comment that it doesn't happen i have noticed that on posts like this that deal with men's issues the comments from some women either blame them on ourselves or completely disregard them because it happens to women more or worse both men and women need to stop that and work together to stop the issues
Lucas 3 years ago
I think I know what you mean, apologies if not, but most posts on Bored Panda which talk about male issues usually get a LOT of supportive comments from women.
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Kittymisfit 3 years ago
There are definitely men's rights groups who think their rights are being diminished by the recent focus on women's rights (and minority rights). I'm sure we'd see more of them protesting if they felt empowered to do so. Most of their efforts seem to be focused on spreading misogyny online-- problematic on its own.
#17
Having your opinions taken less seriously because of your voice. I am trans and recently got surgery to feminize my voice. It has been wild seeing the difference in how people react to me online. My game knowledge is doubted, and my competency is always open for debate.
Sequoia 3 years ago (edited)
We will throw a party! You will get your free pepper spray and a heavy blunt object.
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kate h 3 years ago
Also because of your user name. I changed my name on Reddit from obviously female to something innocuous. The difference was sad and infuriating - I went from getting frequent rude replies and attacks to none. I have the same opinions, but now that I'm assumed male they're accepted.
Jasper Cool 3 years ago
My reddit name is also neutral. It's just not worth the harassment. Plus a lot of gamer subs or comics/ movies subs assume default male users. Like it doesnt occur to them that women might be online discussing games or movies.
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Kill-Bunny 3 years ago
I used to play one online game for few years where you concur new places and make kingdoms, form alliances with others and so on. I was a lead for about half a year for one of the top largest alliances which was started by me and constantly growing. My nickname, profile pic or information never specified my gender. Eventually I got pissed off to be called "he" in chats (apparently, it seems I was the only woman in the alliance), so I have corrected one person, that I am "she". 2 hours later I was kicked out of alliance, blocked, brutally attacked, robbed of everything and left on to start from scratch. Just like that. For being a woman. Oh, and the alliance? Went from top to sh*t in about a week :D
Marilyn leger 3 years ago
Or sitting in a meeting, presenting an idea and having it cheered but attributed to the man sitting next to or across from you
Leona V. 3 years ago
Hahaha I was working at a small computer store in a bust period in the 70’s Silicon Valley. Ring ring…”Hello, Computer Attic.” “I have a technical question.” “Ok.” Long pause. “Ok, go ahead.” “Oh, I thought you were going to transfer me.” “Nope, what’s your question?” Because, ignorance.
Jasper Cool 3 years ago
This is why I like having gender neutral or masculine gaming avatars/names. It's night and day how I get treated vs how I do if I have something distinctly female. Fortunately i don't have to use my voice for how i play.
Karis Ravenhill 3 years ago
I've spent years lowering my voice as a woman for this reason. I noticed when my voice was a higher octave, I was constantly treated like an idiot airhead. I dropped my voice and purposefully talk in deeper tones. Men argue with me less and with at least consider what comes out of my mouth instead of outright dismissing it. It's not just women, I've noticed men will not respect or listen to another man that has a high octave voice like a woman. I guess for guys if you don't sound like a dragon with a flu, then you're not worth listening to.
#18
How little I care about a man's opinion on my hair, clothing, or makeup. I am not dressing for you. I do not care if you think red lipstick is too much. Also just how often guys touch you without permission.
Felice Coles 3 years ago (edited)
Man: "But I'm SUPERIOR! You should pay attention to what I think, what I want, what I say." Woman: "Get lost." Man: "Hey! I'm being nice here, trying to help you! You can't be anything without me!"
uh oh 3 years ago
that's not a man, and it makes me feel terrible because there are amazing real men out there, yet people get it in their heads that this is the norm for a dude
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Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
When a man grasps your waist whilst moving behind you. F*****g don't. Do NOT touch me. You wouldn't do that to another man. Say "excuse me" like a goddamn human being.
Marco Conti 3 years ago
I'll admit to having opinions about makeup, clothing choices and the like, but never in a million years it would cross my mind to comment on it unless I am asked. Even then, I don't believe in gratuitous cruelty, so I try to be constructive with my comments rather than "I don't like it". My preference is to remain silent though. I don't understand men that belittle their SO about their dress and makeup. Maybe either ignore it or find someone else.
Sofia Gonzalez 3 years ago
Man: "Blah blah more makeup meep mop do your hair dar dar dif clothes" Woman: Oh hey that reminds me. Shut up I really don't care 🥱
Karis Ravenhill 3 years ago
The touching and invading your personal bubble of space, getting in close so you can smell their breath. You keep backing away to reclaim your space bubble, they follow you and lean in even CLOSER. having lived in UK and America, have to say Americans are worst. The men here have absolutely no respect for anyone else, and barely any for themselves. UK men aren't angels, but they didn't get as handsy or in your personal space like American men.
#19
Why we are terrified of y’all as strangers whenever we go out alone. I’ve tried to explain it to some and always get “well all guys aren’t the same” THATS NOT THE POINT.
Susie Elle 3 years ago (edited)
Like the bad ones have a sign over their heads reading I WILL FOLLOW YOU HOME AND ATTEMPT TO RAPE. You kind of have to assume every male stranger is a potential threat, because from looks alone you can't tell an assailant from a normal guy apart.
E B 3 years ago
Or the ones who need a sign reading "I'll be nice until you tell me no, then I'll murder you."
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Katiekat 3 years ago
You can't tell who's a rapist or murderer. THEY DON'T WEAR SIGNS. You all look the same outwardly. Don't pardon my caution, deal with it, and CALL OTHER MEN OUT when they're obnoxious, rude, entitled, or doing something unethical or wrong to a woman. BE AN ALLY AND USE YOUR VOICE AROUND OTHER MEN WHO ARE ACTING STUPID.
Miss Marmite 3 years ago
repeat after me: 🗣WE CANNOT TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN RAPISTS AND NORMAL MEN
uh oh 3 years ago
I knew a guy that was intimidating (big, strong, tall, deep voice), but inside he was a teddy bear and probably the most chivalrous dude I've seen, respects women infinity. yet nobody talked to him or went around him a lot if they only had gotten to know him. Please talk to us normally at first, first impressions can say a lot about a person. It's a little hurtful having people think your a beserk, sex craving monster believe it or not.
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Vivian Ashe 3 years ago
Ted Bundy seemed like a nice guy too. Contrary to many men's beliefs, a woman can't tell you're completely harmless after 30 minutes of having coffee somewhere.
Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
Of course all guys aren't the same. BUT, enough of them ARE that way that we have to be careful of ALL of them.
Tobanna Barker 3 years ago
Of course, if we were to take that advice and allow a stranger to approach us or trust them to give us a ride home, and then we're assaulted as a result, the same men would say, "What were you thinking?! This wouldn't have happened if you were smart and used caution!"
Izzy Curer 3 years ago (edited)
When we first started dating, I tried to explain this to my now husband. It's not that I don't think he didn't believe me, but I don't think he really got it. He was sort of dismissive about its affects on a person. Then, his long time best friend from high school, who lived in NYC at the time, transitioned into a woman. She began to tell him how different things were for her walking around on the street. He came back and told me about it as if he understood it, now. Great, but I'm still annoyed it took someone he had once viewed as a man to explain it to him for it to really set in
Tracy Blankenbaker 3 years ago
Yup I knew a guy at work who seemed really nice, well liked and everything. Then he was arrested for assaulting a person under 12… so yeah, you really never can tell!
#20
The many and subtle ways the world around us tells us we're never beautiful enough.
Daria B 3 years ago
And, sometimes, even the conventionally beautiful ones can still feel intimidating, so they get the poop from someone else's insecurities as well. Or, they are just avoided.
Summer Mason 3 years ago
I never understood other girls jealousy of other girls in high-school. Then i left and saw women doing that to other women. I'm like....wtf. girl you got a nice ass. Wear those booty shorts, and no your not asking for it. It's 200* out.
Load More Replies... Aliquid 3 years ago
Even the fact that "beautiful enough" is a issue that needs to be considered. I actually have a problem with the trend of "everyone is beautiful"... I prefer to take the perspective that "beauty is not even vaguely a measure of someone's value". Some people ARE subjectively more beautiful than others, but it shouldn't matter.
Luccan 3 years ago
Thank You! I’m thinking the same thing, beauty is but a concept created by society!
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Kittymisfit 3 years ago
Make an effort to appear beautiful according to social norms- you're seeking attention, want men to treat you like an object for their use and pleasure. Also never get taken seriously in intellectual matters. Also, are told they are distracting to men... Ignore societal beauty norms- get harrassed for not meeting societal beauty norms by both men and women, get ignored or treated badly when trying to contribute intellectually. It's shocking that every woman on the planet hasn't completely lost her mind and also that women haven't collectively boycotted men and reproducing altogether.
Load More Replies... Tracy Wallick 3 years ago
And that our only value comes from whether or not men find us attractive
Scagsy 3 years ago (edited)
No, no, no. It's the fashion industry, magazines, beauticians and cosmetics companies that thrive on the insecurities of women that the industry themselves created. Men don't tell you that you are unattractive, the media that you immerse yourself in does. That's why cosmetics is a multi-billion-pound industry. And the more they undermine you and chip away at your self-confidence, the more profit they make. There's nothing subtle about it. It's everywhere. Downvote me to hell but know that it's the truth.
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Micah Chips 3 years ago
quick reminder you're all beautiful human beings and perfectly valid the way you are :)))
Anne McKinney 3 years ago
I saw a little girl (about 6 or 7) standing with her mom at the bus stop just staring at the bench with an advertisement for a local strip club that had a barely dressed woman on it. I couldn't even imagine what was going through her head.
#21
How exhausting/depressing it is seeing so many sexual overpowerment scenes on TV and Film. It’s like they are trying to inform us of how vulnerable we are to sexual assault, when we are fully aware and live with that knowledge on a daily basis.
Farmboyatheart 3 years ago
I hate when movies and tv show a woman saying NO and the man kisses her anyway, then she suddenly likes it and kisses him back. In real life this is assault. Don't do it.
Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
Yes! When I've said "no," it doesn't mean I'm playing hard to get, or need to be convinced to say "yes." It bloody well means "no."
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Jasper Cool 3 years ago
I too am overly tired of seeing this or reading it. I'm especially tired of hearing how movies heavily featuring it have genius messages from genius male filmmakers. It doesn't send the message they think it does.
Immortal Emperor Paradox 3 years ago
The sad truth is that creators make things that people demand, or the stuff they know people would accept and sell well. With how risky every business is, I don't think there would be many filmmakers that would risk their project for a positive change in society rather than raking some good old money.
Load More Replies... K Witmer 3 years ago
I google if there are rape scenes before I watch an R movie. So tired of rape scenes they also seem to be written for the male gaze which is so f*****g gross. Rape scenes that aren't even about the story they're just added for men. No movies unless it's a true story by a survivor and they need to tell their story should ever be shown in a movie, we all know what has happened by just showing the lead to and the aftermath.
ChimeraBubbles 3 years ago
I simply cannot watch anything with sexual overpowerment (assault) depicted anymore. It's exhausting and I don't want to keep exposing myself to the narrative.
ChimeraBubbles 3 years ago
The person who noticed all the men wincing at watching Bond have his testicles tortured in Casino Royale made a really good point that men often cannot connect to the body (a woman) being assaulted in a film but could connect to the torture of Bond. So there's also that I guess.
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Lara Verne 3 years ago
And now reverse it: Stories, where woman likes guy, who's not interested, so she pursues him. Woman is usually portrayed like crazy psycho, bad comedy relief, stuff like that. But when guy does it, it's suddenly romantic.
Immortal Emperor Paradox 3 years ago (edited)
I don't think that many men would find it that repulsive. It would be another case if a man was forcefully persuing another straight man. I think that would be a better portrayal for men what forced sexual contact feels like.
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Tamara Kroonen 3 years ago
And why it is ALWAYS forty or fifty plus men have twenty- or thirthysomething women. When the man is 50, you rarely see him with a wife his own age. Unless the movie is about cheating...where the man has a much younger girlfriend. Overpowerment by age.
CultOfBambi 3 years ago
One thing I've noticed that is actually changing and improving, with regards to TV and film - there seem to be more strong female characters - and male characters who are happy to be supportive (rather than always having the white male in charge). Crime dramas and science fiction are front-runners with this - and also with the inclusion of more diverse casting. Still loads of room for improvement though!
#22
How sometimes you can never feel successful in your career because you’ll always be accused of sleeping your way to the top, or being a difficult woman. Never on merit.
Babsevs 3 years ago
This this this this!!!!! I'm a manager (was an engineer) in a male dominated manufacturing business...been there 27 years and still get the questionable background problems pop up now again....I'm a middle aged, perimenopausal mother...I have enough s*** to deal without this demerit!
Marilyn leger 3 years ago
Chemistry-Math majors, tutored my male classmates — at seminar to hear respected biochemist. His response to me (as the only female present) — "what are you doing here?"
Load More Replies... Elmie Pumpkinbush 3 years ago
Everything I ever achieved - awards, promotions, new jobs, - there would always be some chap telling me I got all this because I am a woman. If it is so easy for women, why is my STEM field so male-dominated?
Marco Conti 3 years ago
That's something that always infuriated me, as do men that discount it or claim it's not even real. It's real. It's evident everywhere. Sure, there are women that overcome it, but for the majority of them it's a struggle, as is for black and brown people and other minorities. Maybe I am wired differently, but even as a HS kid, in the 70s I could not understand why some men were so put out by successful women. How men feel the need to diminish the accomplishment of women in almost all fields. Look at women in car racing, business, the sciences. They'll cherry pick biased studies to show that women, by their nature, are inferior to men and gloat over it. Sure, men have bigger muscles, can run faster, etc. For that matter, silverback gorillas can take any man and tear him apart without breaking a sweat. There is more than just brute strength. Intellectually there is no difference and even if there was, we can't ignore the nurture part of it.
Susie Elle 3 years ago
But they get high-fives instead of the whore-label.
Load More Replies... #23
That “good men” and “bad men” are often impossible to tell apart. We’ve all had the experience of a man we thought we could trust turning out to be terrifying, and we learned from that. So no, we don’t think that all men are predators, but we do know that many of the bad ones are very, very good at appearing to be good ones, and we have no choice but to behave in ways that protect ourselves.
Naesil 3 years ago
Yup thats sociopaths for you, they can lie and be charming, confident and I think they also are usually very good in bed.. so seemingly the perfect package until they show their true colors.
Evil Little Thing 3 years ago
It's not just sociopaths and narcissists; "good" men frequently do bad things. Either they don't realize how bad their actions are or they think they are justified.
Load More Replies... Vivian Ashe 3 years ago
Or that a man can be a "good guy" to most of the people he interacts with, but that doesn't mean he can't be a creep to one woman. It annoys me to see people dismiss a woman's complaint of harassment or abuse by saying, "Well, no one else has ever complained before."
Jarrod Nichols 3 years ago
Most guys, at least the ones I know, understand that. The awkward part for me is when we vocalize it. For example, seeing someone in a social situation that I would like to say hello to, but saying out loud "I'm not getting any closer because I don't want to make you uncomfortable." I don't want the person to think I'm weird for saying hello from 5 feet away, so I feel necessary to explain my actions which in itself is weird and I defeated the whole purpose in the first place. I don't know if it's because I've matured as a person or if the message has gotten through but I try to consider the exchange from her point of view. Don't approach her when she is alone or vulnerable. If she says "not interested" wish her a nice day and move on. I don't really think it's that hard. Just takes a second to consider her point of view.
Courtney Lunsford 3 years ago
My ex came off as really caring for me for the first few months until I felt safe with him. Then it was like a switch went off. He started abusing me. Slowing making me feel worse and worse and not able to defend myself.
Leet_loves_space 3 years ago
a perfect example of "this is why we can't have nice things" or "we're only as strong as our weakest link" I'm a male and if some people are predators then all are thought of as preditors
Cato Oomen 3 years ago
Even guys that think they're one of the good ones can behave in ways that contradict that
#24
High quality toilet paper is deeply important to women because we use it every single time we pee or poop and extra when we’re on our period.
Leet_loves_space 3 years ago (edited)
*meanwhile school bathrooms* edit: men also like good tp
eimipet 3 years ago
For the first time in months I have the urge of making a burner BP account just to upvote x10. Yes, yes, YES.
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Mickie Ramos 3 years ago
Oh gosh the amount of time I spend shopping for toilet paper is ridiculous! Sometimes I think I've bought the right one then when I use it, it tears and my fingers go through them. YUCK!
#25
That until you guys come together and force real change to happen, women will continue to perceive all of you as a threat and will act accordingly and you have no right to complain when we do.
Marco Conti 3 years ago
Good luck with the "coming together". Parents need to instill respect for other people in their kids from a young age and do their best to limit stereotypical gender roles and teach respect for all people. I already have cut out plenty of male friends from my life because I couldn't suffer their attitudes toward women. Sometimes I tried reasoning with them, telling them they can do better and that it doesn't mean joining the priesthood or never go on a date again. It worked maybe twice out of too many to count. We are not "coming together". Society needs to change.
Stephanie Keith 3 years ago
It's really sad that any woman would see all men as a threat. That's just heartbreaking.
J. Normal 3 years ago
It is just safer. AKA is it a coral snake or a king snake = does not matter better to stay away.
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ZAPanda 3 years ago (edited)
where did you get that info? I for one , do not want a woman to perceive me as a threat...
Load More Replies... #26
That many women live in constant fear of getting pregnant and having to give birth in the future. All the scenes in movies, all the info about death risk of pregnancy and diseases and stuff connected to it.
That many women are scared of picking a wrong partner because we know that we'll most times end up alone with children if anything goes wrong.
Otter 3 years ago (edited)
Straight men, if you want to show your girlfriend how much you care for her, take some responsibility for birth control and use a condom.
Xottel 3 years ago (edited)
This should also be high on the list. My girlfriend will not take the pill because it tampers with her hormone system in terms of getting mood problems but also skin rash. I just need to put on a condom for that few minutes (be honest to yourself, guys) and she won't have to go through that. If both partners can contracept it's even better. Edit: *wife
Load More Replies... Paul Davis 3 years ago
Having attended gone through medical training and attended births myself, my opinion is most people are wayyy too lackadaisical about the potential danger of childbirth to both mom and child.
Bob D. Lin Quint 3 years ago
Vasectomies should be free or hella cheap. And they should come with a lil tattoo on your belly
ZAPanda 3 years ago
kinda like how vets tag strays so you know if they have been sterilised.
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Summer Mason 3 years ago
And the constant fear of losing that child. I know. I'm not saying it doesn't make my grief worse than my husband's but f**k man. I carried him and felt every kick punch hiccup and growth, the pain of labor and all else during birth. That hurt like no other. It still hurts.
Susan Atkinson 3 years ago
My son and daughter- in- law recently informed me that they will not be having children. Ever. The World's a messed up place, too large a population, climate change, etc.... I have no expectations of being a grandmother. Just another script and role change to adjust to.
Daria B 3 years ago
The thing about pregnancy, though. My whole 20s, it sounded too scary, but now... I'm in my early 30s, and the thought of it doesn't seem as big of a deal anymore. I'm not saying it's easy or whatever, sure there's lots of hardships, but, compared to how the very thought of the possibility of me getting pregnant used to feel, now it's not as frightening anymore. Guess I'm biologically ready? Still not in a hurry, though.
Jasper Cool 3 years ago
I totally get what you're saying as I was the same way once I hit my 30's but if you peruse any threads talking about the untalked about risks and bodily changes related to pregnancy there are good reasons for people of any age to be wary. Not saying you need to be, but galldarnit no one told me having a kid in your mid to late 30's can kick you into early menopause. Or that breastfeeding can preempt vaginal atrophy. Or all of the things related to pelvic floor dysfunction. And the higher risks of gallbladder loss and hypothyroidism after pregnancy and that's just the tip of the iceberg with possibilities. Nevermind that depending on your country giving birth is high-risk because of medical failure. Especially if you're a Black woman or a POC in the U.S. And our maternity leave and maternal after care is none existent.
Load More Replies... Karis Ravenhill 3 years ago
One of the reasons i'm childless at 36, I know and have seen that the majority of men become bored with their family, or have a midlife crisis, or just don't want to deal with the responsibility anymore, they scurry off and the woman is left struggling to hold everything. I witnessed a dad screaming at his eldest kid that "you were the thing that chained me to your mom, I never wanted you!" as he was packing his stuff in his car, taking all the money and abandoning the family to starve to death - all because he reconnected with his high school girlfriend he'd been chatting on FB for months. Yet only a week before he bought his wife a new wedding ring, romanced her, told her he loved her - all while planning to dump the whole family the following week. Not a rare story, actually far too common. It's too terrifying to have a child, because you're almost guaranteed you'll be giving them a broken home and broken parent one day.
Lovin' Life 3 years ago
Get to know your partner before jumping in the bed. Many time you will be able to identify the red flags.
Jasper Cool 3 years ago
Sure there are red flags but there are no guarantees that any man will be an active father. Plus some abusive men and abusive people generally can be good at hiding the red flags. Especially until you are married and/or pregnant.
Load More Replies... Frankenfrog 3 years ago
To be honest this is just common sense. No sane person would want to raise a child in this sick world. You KNOW it's sick, so why do you give force it on a child?
#27
Feeling sad and tired for no reason, because my body is starting to produce less serotonin before my period. I get so sad and I can’t do anything to feel happy for like 2-3 days a month.
Lovin' Life 3 years ago
I suffered with this from age 15 until I was 27. It was so bad that I was given a hysterectomy at 27 years old.
Laura Jackson 3 years ago (edited)
Endometriosis, severe dysmenorrhea, and severe hormonal imbalance left me with a hysterectomy at age 29. I was pregnant at 27yo so I had to wait a bit.
Load More Replies... Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
And so many women who don't know this about their body, not understanding there's a biological reason behind why their mood is low :(
WiTchY_WoMaN 3 years ago
Yessss... I get this too and I didn't know there was a reason.... I always feel like I HAVE to lighten my mood, which is exhausting...
Njushka 3 years ago
I've done so much research on this. It is actually only after menopause that many women finally start to feel normal. So I started following my moods at different times of my cycle and yup, there are 2 or 3 days where I can say, this is me and not my hormonal fluctuations. So I just embrace it at this point since there is nothing else I can do. Embrace the crazy and love yourself!
Leona V. 3 years ago
And it felt SO REAL! I’m in menopause now but I remember how my frequent crying and emotional extremes would stop like someone turned off a tap as soon as my period went into the flow.
#28
That we really can’t stand unsolicited d**k pics so Please for the love of god stop sending them. They take a conversation from 0 to and “ya lost me” real quick
Otter 3 years ago
Why to men do this? Do they enjoy overstepping boundaries? Or are they afraid that they,'ll be rejected because Mr. Wiener isn't a foot long, and they'd rather get the rejection over with than waste time?
Evil Little Thing 3 years ago
Because they get off on sexual assault. It's modern-day flashing.
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Susie Elle 3 years ago
Contrary to popular (male) belief; a random out-of-context penis (or vagina, for that matter) is not aesthetically pleasing :)
Noir 3 years ago
It just kind of hit me one day that this was today's version of a flasher. The sender thinks they're being sexually dominant and aggressive and it might burden the receiver into feeling obligated to reciprocate if they play their cards right, but if not, they still feel a weird ego boost because they think " I bet she/he liked it". It's a power/control thing even if they aren't fully aware of it. And when it comes down to it, it's a form form sexual assault if unsolicited. Which, we all know is all about power.
Remi Flynne 3 years ago
Yes, though as someone who had the 'joy' of being flashed when completely alone on the London Underground once I felt very much more threatened. You have no idea if it will stay at exposure or escalate. Not saying I like d!ck pix either mind...
Load More Replies... Scagsy 3 years ago (edited)
I can honestly say that I have never seen a game show where the host goes 'Lovely couple number one. How did you meet?' and the girl goes 'Well, before we were close, Chad here sent me a picture of his wi!!y and I just knew he was the one for me. My mum says he's a keeper.'
Gin 3 years ago
Hahaha - so true. Though have you seen Naked Attraction? Um...
Load More Replies... ZAPanda 3 years ago (edited)
I think this comes from guys who literally do not understand how women are attracted. The same guys who think it's about a big motorbike. It's really pathetic and gross.
Tobias Rieper 3 years ago
i agree i am a guy and d***s are nasty looking news flash guys sending a d**k pick aint gonna make her panties fall down and then make her wanna pounce on you
Bob D. Lin Quint 3 years ago
I... Don't understand this one. Maybe if you saw a pic of my dongus? Brb. Getting the microscope
elSti 3 years ago
but BOB, your dongus can't be that little!!!! your dongus must be humongus. .... i see what your did there ;)
Load More Replies... Peej Maybe 3 years ago
"So what, you thought I'd be impressed by the last chicken in the shop?"
Alma Muminovic 3 years ago
Unsolicited d**k pics are gross. If someone wants to see your little pencil they will ask.
Brandi VanSteenwyk 3 years ago
D**k pics in general! Not just unsolicited. It sickens me how such intimate, private, and beautiful things (the human body of both sexes) have been so degraded that expecting to view them sans any mental intimacy is "normal".
#29
How exhausting it is to see your gender constantly objectified. Middle aged and older women are practically absent from media.
Penny Fan 3 years ago
It's very telling that all the random "smile" commands, and interruptions to solo activities die off once you get to a certain age. Which just proves that those men are not being friendly, or kind, or interested. If women are worthless to you unless you want to f**k them then you don not in any way respect women.
Sarcastic Cow 3 years ago
Oh, they are there! In comparision how young and beautiful once were.
Paul Davis 3 years ago
Things like, when a woman character enters, how the camera so often does the "male gaze", scanning them from top to bottom or bottom to top lasciviously.
Jasper Cool 3 years ago
The only big reversal I can think of with this is Zack Snyder films. The man loves his shirtless men scenes.
Load More Replies... Agnes Jekyll 3 years ago
Suddenly becoming invisible. It's wild--slightly freeing, and an instant tell who the a**holes are.
Jasper Cool 3 years ago
It's only really been in the last 5-6 years that there's been a concentrated effort in comic books to draw teenage female characters less sexualized. It's been wonderful to see so many women also integrate into the industry as writers, artists and editors. It makes for more balanced stories.
WildHoneyPie 3 years ago
Not just media. You're basically invisible past a certain age. Add on some extra weight and pfft nobody seems to see you at all. It can be refreshing though. You're no longer harassed, just ignored.
Display Name 3 years ago
I've seen plenty of American celeb media posts of "50 year old actress looking hot in bikini/birthday suit" but never seen remotely similar for actors like "50 year old builds a six pack abs".
#30
How your brain gets re-wired by pregnancy. And I don’t just mean the “I’ll kill anyone who tries to hurt my little bologna loaf.” I mean how some foods you loved now taste like c**p. And others you only tolerated taste like heaven. How some smells are now more intense or slightly off from before pregnancy. That you can’t remember how to drive a stick shift (true story, ground the gears for at least a month) but can put together some complicated as s**t storage unit with no instructions and nothing but a pair of pliers and a nail file, while 8 1/2 mos pregnant.That you can spy a poisonous plant from 50 yards away but can’t find the orange behind your water glass. And that if/when you get pregnant again everything will get re/wired in a different way.
Evil Little Thing 3 years ago
My pregnancy stopped me from getting migraine headaches and got rid of my most debilitating ADHD symptoms. Permanently. The quality of life improvement was completely worth the damage it did to my body.
Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago
Still can't eat bananas and my sight went from near blind to perfect vision. Pregnancy definitely changes you.
suzanne van Doorn 3 years ago
My youngest is 19 months and I still "suffer" from this. Scents are SO intense, I can smell it if someones smokes a cigarette from across the street. Perfumes are horrible. And I can no longer read or watch the news. Especially child-involved accidents/deaths strike me to my core and can hunt and influence my thoughts for months. I fear for my childrens safety and health 24/7. My world revolves around them. But also: my heart explodes with love every time I hug them or see them ❤
miss no-way 3 years ago
Even water had a bad smell and made me throw up... Plus, I had a lot of issues just walking and my memory wouldn't work correctly. I still have memory issues nowadays, never got back to normal 😑
eve 3 years ago (edited)
When I was pregnant I got sick from just looking at milk! 😂 And chocolate! The first three months I hated chocolate! Can you even imagen? It's my elixir of life! 🙈 And I always left my carkeys in the car...😅 But it was still a beautiful and exciting time and I loved beeing pregnant. I felt so pretty and important, because of that little wonder growing in my belly. ❤️
Got Myself 4 Dwarves 3 years ago
I couldn't look at a whole chicken/turkey - was fine if it was cut up but if I saw it whole I would instantly run for the bathroom and recreate the exorcist in there rather than ruin everyone's meal. Was so odd. Made Christmas dinner interesting - hide the turkey from Lorna day
Load More Replies... Brandi VanSteenwyk 3 years ago (edited)
"Bologna Loaf"!! Made my morning!! In addition to agreeing with (and experiencing) ALL of these things.
Lovin' Life 3 years ago
I still cannot stand certain foods and odors since my pregnancies. I cannot explain it. There is no rhyme nor reason except for my pregnancies.
Angel Burd 3 years ago
And that after that, those changes stick!!! I can smell things like a hound dog now, and my youngest is 4 years old.
#31
Just like men, we can have what are deemed "negative emotions" (fear, anger, etc), that doesn't mean we're being hysterical, dramatic, annoying or whatever else invalidates feelings.
Sissi Gilmour 3 years ago
This! When I'm in a bad mood or just plain annoyed by his actions my boyfriend always says "Eat something, you're cranky." and it drives me crazy! I feel like he's not taking me or my emotion seriously and he tends to do this all the time.
Kitsune Nocturne 3 years ago
He is absolutely invalidating your feelings. If you haven't already told him to stop saying this, try doing that. If he doesn't respond well, or if he doesn't make an effort to stop doing it, that means that he really does not care how much this upsets you and that your feelings really don't matter. Even if you are "hangry" like the other commenters are saying, that isn't the issue here; his applying that logic every time you're upset is the problem. He ought to listen to your complaint or your negative emotions, validate them ("I understand that me leaving my wet towels on the floor after a shower is frustrating for you.", "Looking at it from your perspective, I can see how me playing videogames every night after dinner instead of helping to clean up can feel infuriating.", etc.), and coordinate with you on how best to address the problem. Regardless of if being hungry amplifies negative emotions, those emotions are still there and they are valid.
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Enby.Minecraft.Bee. 3 years ago
We are also allowed to have these feelings for reasons other than being on our period.
Karis Ravenhill 3 years ago
Years of depression caught up with me, my boss at work asked me what's wrong and I broke down into tears, was spilling everything about why I was depressed, that I'm burned out at work, so lonely I have dreams about running up to strangers and begging them to hug me, that I can't remember the last time I smiled or laughed....and he interrupted me to say "Are you trying to make me angry?". At that moment, I knew "no one cares about your fuc*ing pain" and shut the fuc* up. I'm now back to drinking and desperately trying not to start cutting again. But we women aren't supposed to have emotions right? I'm not allowed to be sad, or lonely, or depressed, my job is to plaster on a fake smile, pretend i'm happy, and get back to clacking on the keyboard and doing my work.
Tamra Stiffler 3 years ago
I'm truly sorry for the pain you're experiencing, Karis. I've been there, deep into the depression, the cutting, all of it. Having a stressful job makes everything worse. I wish I had something wonderful to say that would make your life better. I don't. Except that I see you, I empathize with your pain and struggle, and I truly hope you find your way through to the other side.
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tatumn 3 years ago
hysteria... that’s a funny topic. see, hysteria is the excuse men use when women show emotion. but the moment we stop using emotion, all hell breaks loose. has anyone ever looked up how they “cured” hysteria in women? if you have, have you looked up hysteria in men? symptoms for a women include loss of sexual desire or an increase in sexual desire. the symptoms for male hysteria include n o t h i n g about loss or increase in sexual desire. it’s all b******t.
TrixicBird(Any pronouns) 3 years ago
I'm sad: I need sleep/I'm mad: I'm hungry is false. I'm sad=im sad I'm mad=i'm mad.
Dee 3 years ago
I’d love to agree wholehearted except it’s a little more nuanced.. our meat suits do need tending to and when those needs aren’t met they can feel sad and/or mad, of course it’s not always as easy as have a bite to eat or a good sleep either.
Load More Replies... LynzCatastrophe 3 years ago
I'm 34 and still learning how to express my feelings properly. I love my parents but they wanted normal kids. Everytime I expressed a major emotion it was never met well. It still isn't to this day. My husband is very patient and has often told me I react wrong to things. It really sucks to be this old and be completely ruled by emotions that you have no idea how to organize.
Brandi VanSteenwyk 3 years ago
Seeing the word: HYSTERICAL made me fondly recall the movie HYSTERIA with Maggie Gyllenhaal. Men's response to the emotions of women over the last two centuries explained to a tee. Enlightening to say the least.
Cherry Lane 3 years ago
A man "Are you having periods or PMS?" No, I have this thing called emotions. Usually after they caused that feeling in the first place. Ugh.
#32
My male friends are always like 'everyone should travel solo across Europe at least once in their life'… like no thank you I don’t want to disappear.
Aaricia 3 years ago
Europe is fairly safe for women, but you have the best safety in tourist spots and places with lots of people like towns.
RoseAnne Hutchence 3 years ago
The added stress of not knowing which parts of town are risky would take the fun out of travelling.
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Katiekat 3 years ago
I'm 54 today 2/14/2022 and female, and I've been to 29 countries, most of Europe, and even to Morocco, all solo. Solo travel can be very safe, just keep your wits about you, use normal safety precautions. Worth it.
Liam Walsh 3 years ago
Happy birthday! 🎉🎈🎈🎉 Hope you are having a lovely day today Katiekat. Have some cake -> 🎂😋
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Susie Elle 3 years ago (edited)
I wouldn't recommend travelling solo for men, either. Lots of places in Europe aren't safe for solo male travellers either, although for different reasons, and not as prevalent as for female travellers.
Njushka 3 years ago
I did this in Europe at 20 and had zero issues. It's the location that is important. I wouldn't go to the U.S. alone or Canada, but I had no issues in Italy, all of Eastern Europe, or Switzerland. Everybody just wanted to take care of me and make sure I was safe, it was a really nice experience.
Oopsydaisy 3 years ago
That's a bit pathetic. I've traveled solo many times and will continue to do so. You just take the same sensible precautions that you do at home.
Jovi Kessler 3 years ago
As a middle-east-ish european who's seen and in lived in the western countries, most of Europe is fine. With some common sense you'll be good, just do your research on which countries/cities/districts to avoid
#33
When you’re on your period, and stand up and feel the gush.
Kim Shannon 3 years ago
One of my favorites is, "Can't you just hold it in?" Hold it in??? Don't you think I would if I could instead of spending all my money on feminine care products??
Babsevs 3 years ago
O.m.g. of course I can....why didn't I think of that before spending the equivalent of a second hand car on sanitary products before having my kids (then allowed a coil by Dr...so no more whoooosh, and so happy, I remember how much I hated that sensation)
Load More Replies... Got Myself 4 Dwarves 3 years ago
Worse yet, you just up, feel the flow and aren't prepared and you pray you have a spare tampon or pad in your bag - and pray your outfit of choice will not advertise what just happened
Brandi VanSteenwyk 3 years ago
All of these little annoyances that I always thought were MY curse to bear.... Hallelujah!! I am not alone!!
Vanessa Milato 3 years ago
A couple of month ago, after 15 years of relationship, I explained to my boyfriend that when we have the period, it is not like a broken faucet, dripping dripping, drop after drop. He though it was a continuous leakage. And no...
LynzCatastrophe 3 years ago
Why I wear b***h panties for two weeks a month. I may keep track but it often shows up out of nowhere and has ruined lovely underwear.
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 2 years ago
And when you have that blood clot that just won’t come all the way out so you have to squirm around until it detaches.
#34
The universal scare. It might just be sweat or discharge… but it could be blood too. And you’re not able to make a quick getaway to the nearest bathroom to check.
Florence 3 years ago
RIGHT AND WHEN YOU AIT IN A CHAIR THERES JUST A MOISTURE SPOT ON THE CHAIR AND YOURE LIKE “S**T”
Shelley DuVal 3 years ago
and the quick look or feel on the back of your skirt to check, or having a friend check to see if there's a red spot showing back there. Once I went to a nightclub wearing white pants, (black light days) and my period started, went to the loo and boy, it was huge. Now I was/am very shy and think the worse of most women (bullies at school taught me not to trust) so I ended up flushing the toilet and washing my pants in the toilet water. when clean put them back on and bolted out of there. Many years later I realised if I had said something someone would have helped me, probably.
Load More Replies... madbakes 3 years ago
I wore a pantiliner for years before getting my period bc I was afraid of this
River Daski 3 years ago
I haven't had a period In a year (thank you birth control!) and I'm STILL paranoid to the point of whisking away to the bathroom for the slightest discharge
Load More Replies... Marco Conti 3 years ago
That would not be a tragedy if people were more comfortable with the way our bodies work. Sure, it can be embarrassing, but if it's something that cannot be helped, people should just grow the f**k up.
Brandi VanSteenwyk 3 years ago
So happy to learn that there are others in this sorority with me.
#35
The sensation of menstruation itself Not just the symptoms. It's almost indescribable. Like someone ripping a scab off of your insides or dispensing warm soup from your nethers. How much of our behavior is influenced by fear that a man will physically harm us. By 18, I stopped smiling at men 25 and up in passing because too many took it as sexual interest. At 23 I stopped jogging near streets or apartment buildings because the cat calls were too aggressive. And at 31 I cut a married, super religious, father figure from my life because he couldn't keep his eyes off of my body and started talking to me like a mistress. Right now no man I've had any sort of relationship with knows where I live and I feel safer than ever before.
Tuna Fish 3 years ago
I grew up super religious too and others should know. Your daughters are not safe with someone because they hold the title Preacher or Deacon or Sunday school teacher. Protect your children from everyone you do not know very well and by all means tell your daughters and sons they do not have to listen to anyone who says "don't tell anyone". Anyone who says that to you is doing something wrong to you.
Marco Conti 3 years ago
My father in law used to be one of those men. He was also a pedophile. Then one day he wasn't. Very strange. And it's not like he got better at hiding it. He used to leer at any woman in visual range. He could not help it. When my daughter was born, I told him that he would never be left alone with her and that if he managed to find a way, I'd kill him on principle. It was revolting. Then it went away. Sure, he got older, but I am convinced something popped in his brain. Maybe a reverse aneurysm? Still, we don't leave him alone with kids. It's actually exhausting to be around him, even in his new and improved state. Fortunately, he lives in another country.
#36
Holding my [chest] means nothing s*xual. Sometimes I do it instinctively. It's comfortable and warm.
Summer Mason 3 years ago
Yes! I do both. I don't even realize I'm doing it until some creep is staring at my jugs and my husband is staring at him telling him eyes off my lady you creep.
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zovjraar me 3 years ago
i am constantly rubbing my chest just below my neck. it's a comforting thing. i'm seriously not trying to involve my breasts, they just happen to be there.
Natalia Allen 3 years ago
well I wish mine were just below my neck instead of much lower down lol
Load More Replies... Vivian Ashe 3 years ago
I remember being in a store and the cashier asked me, "So when are you due?" I had no idea what she was talking about. I wasn't pregnant and didn't even have belly weight at the time, so I had no idea what she was talking about. "Oh," she said, "You had your hand on your stomach, so I assumed you were pregnant." Seriously? I had subconsciously touched my stomach because I was hungry. But it just shows the degree to which women have to constantly self-monitor every single action (even with other women), because everything is being judged and interpreted.
Tobias Rieper 3 years ago
guys do the same thing but with our balls its why we have our hand down our pants its warm there
Caffeine72 3 years ago
And my butt. I tend to play bongos on it when I'm walking around thinking about something.
#37
How terrible it feels to pull a dry tampon out.
Gin 3 years ago
Honestly, this is dangerous. Tampons need moisture to expand and work properly so you should never be putting them in when you're not bleeding sufficiently to make them damp enough. You should never use a tampon for spotting. You should never use a tampon in anticipation of bleeding. These are basic 'Don'ts' and companies like Tampax explain things like this on their websites. You should not put yourself in the situation where pulling one out dry happens. If you unsure better to use a pad.
Cindy Snow 3 years ago
Never tried tampons never will. Too scared of toxic shock syndrome cause i forget stuff a lot.
Aaricia 3 years ago
That is potentially dangerous, always try to get a bit wet before you pull it out. It really helps.
#38
The feeling of taking off your bra after a long day.
Cadena Norton 3 years ago
I cannot stand not having a bra on. I've never understood the constant memes
Paula Turbeville 3 years ago
I told my adult sons it feels about the same as them wearing a jock strap 8 to 10 hrs a day all summer in the South. The moment they finally get to take that thing off, is how good it feels to lose the bra.
Leet_loves_space 3 years ago
same goes for men underwear females will never know how nice that feels
#39
How much society influences how we behave — from being polite when men creep on us to working a full-time job and still doing the majority of the work at home.
Bob D. Lin Quint 3 years ago
I work in retail and for fear of being rude or hurting feelings I'm very polite and act interested whenever one of several old ass men, 50 years old or so, who're also regulars, start talking to me about crap I don't care about. Couldn't imagine the hell I'd be in if I had tits.
Tee Witt 3 years ago
One thing I find difficult to understand about the USA, anyone over 50 is regarded as just old ass people, forget them. Many European countries have high regard for age, the older you are the more you know and have experienced.
Load More Replies... Tamara Kroonen 3 years ago
Why being polite when men creep on you? Just kick'm where it hurts. They'll never creep on anyone ever again.
#40
In corporate culture: being mentored by men is more difficult without the comraderie that men share. Male leaders see themselves in young men. women need to assert professional boundaries CONSTANTLY. the connection between beauty and perceived ability. Ugly fat men are very common in leadership. Ugly fat women, however... working in compsci is off-putting because many compsci dudes only interact with women in romantic contexts, and find it difficult to treat them as fledged colleagues.
Tuna Fish 3 years ago
Ugly fat men are very common in leadership. Ugly fat women, however... Nailed it.
Donae Sommerfeld Lugo 3 years ago
And how common it is to have ugly fat men think they have something to offer and only want a woman who has a perfect body and is obedient (not smart though... that's too intimidating!)
Leona V. 3 years ago (edited)
JFC if we have the nerve to be female and aspire to leadership, the least we can do is be young and conventionally sexually attractive OR female metrosexual. I mean, really, you must serve their desire for sexy times or raw capitalist ruthlessness. No others need ever apply.
Marco Conti 3 years ago
I hope that eventually this will go away. I look at the changes that have happened during my lifetime and I have a little bit of hope that things will change just as much as they already have. When kids grow up in families with strict gender roles, they can't help it but propagate that mentality. Men and women both contribute to propagating the stereotypes, but little by little things do change. Not enough and not as soon as would be ideal, but they change. There are things that were just assumed of gender roles when I was a kid that no longer exist. Few, to be sure, but it shows it can happen.
Julie C Rose 3 years ago
I don’t know what qualifies as “ugly”, but I give New Zealand props for the fact that both of our big two parties have at least one fat man and woman in major roles.
#41
How we're expected to be extroverts -- to smile and coddle everyone's feelings. I constantly used to catch myself indulging men in "conversations" that were really just them showing off. They would never do that for me, but I was socialized to be a polite, attentive audience to stroke a man's ego. Needless to say I do not do this any more.
Princess Jade 3 years ago
The amount of times I've been called incredibly offensive names because I refuse to entertain a man I dont know!
Katiekat 3 years ago
Overcome socialization! It can be done. I'm a out and proud introvert, and have never coddled people's feelings... just does not occur to me. I also may get roped in ONCE to the "listening woman" thing but as I've aged, I've also learned how to just cut them off, or keep turning the conversation back to me. Once I do that, they lose whatever "interest" they had and leave. Fine by me. You're not mutual or reciprocal, then you're not worthy of friendship anyway. No loss to me.
#42
Having your words minimized. Telling symptoms to a doctor, they ask when my last period was or if I’m pregnant. If they can’t figure out what’s wrong with me, it’s hormones, and loads of young women have similar unexplainable symptoms. Idea at work? Tell it to the boss, they think it’s stupid. A male coworker says it louder, and he’s employee of the month. Tell your partner you’re not in the mood for sex? It becomes a negotiation. Tell your kids to do something, they ignore you and just say mom’s being boring again. Tell your parents about sexual harassment, they say you just need to grow a thicker skin, and it isn’t nearly as bad as it was in their day. Telling a guy friend about period pains, he immediately tries to one up it by talking about skinning his knee or getting kicked in the balls. Not all of these have happened to me personally, but they have happened to my friends and sisters. It’s definitely a common occurrence.
Katiekat 3 years ago
Confront, confront, confront. Nope, not happening with me, or with anyone I know. My opinions, my wants, my needs, my preferences matter, and if any man ever tries to minimize, then he's minimized right out of my life. No loss.
What_the_actual_sloth? 2 years ago
if it were me the person would be so minimised out of my life to the point where it would be insanely hard to see him even with an electron microscope.
Load More Replies... Cherry Lane 3 years ago
A man explained that nothing happened to me, when I told him that I was sexually abused when I was 7. Why? Because I wasn't raped. Yet, it changed me completely and haunted me for decades. Shut up if you don't understand what violation does to other people.
Marco Conti 3 years ago
Yes, it's common. It's also human nature that spills over in gender stereotyping. My wife's doctors have been telling her her pain was "all in her head". Until it wasn't and we had the CAT scans to prove it. In the USA it's not so easy to change doctors, despite claims from the American Fascist Party that we are all about freedom and that's why we can't have Medicare for all, but if your doctor minimizes your condition or is clearly snowing you, change to another doctor. Interview the nurses, they often know who's the a*****e. It's still going to be an uphill slog, so be prepared to change insurance plans if necessary, but your health is more important than a doctor's ego.
Josy Bannon 3 years ago
"Idea at work? Tell it to the boss, they think it’s stupid. A male coworker says it louder, and he’s employee of the month." This. Happened to me a lot. I just dont share ideas anymore, I do my job and get my money. Their loss.
ZAPanda 3 years ago (edited)
1. Yes, go to a female doctor. 2. Yes, try work for a female boss if you can. 3. Yes, but don't be angry when he refuses back. You have to have equity. 3. Yes, because if it's a huge effort to keep the place tidy then lower your standards or ask the dad to enforce for once. 4. Tell your parents to f**k off. 5. By comparing it to a kick in the balls it might be an attempt at empathy? Maybe give him benefit of the doubt? Just some thoughts, I don't really know how it feels.
Jasper Cool 3 years ago
Female doctors are just as capable of minimizing. Especially OBs or gynecologist. Though it is true they're statistically more likely to listen. 5. Is not empathy. Empathy is listening and not making it about you. Regardless women do not owe men benefit of the doubt. Having it happen once or twice in your life would warrant that but by the time you reach a certain age it's happened so many times we know it's a pattern. That's what most men fail to realize when women post These things. Men mostly treat them like individual occurrences. Women are talking about patterns.
Load More Replies... LynzCatastrophe 3 years ago
Meh, I don't mind the negotiations. I've gotten gifts that way. Probably makes me a whore in my own marriage but in my opinion, we both got something out of it. And it's not like I'm being forced or don't enjoy UT. The negotiations are a rare thing.
madbakes 3 years ago
True, but studies show overall that women are diagnosed with conditions far longer than men bc women's complaints aren't taken seriously.
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#43
Every girl has different symptoms in her period so stop assuming things. I don’t get mood swings, cramps nor cravings, but I do have other symptoms like back pain or oily skin.
Shelley DuVal 3 years ago
Same, never had period cramps, but bled btween 10 -12 days. Ended up bleeding the whole 28 days then get a day clear and start again. Nope can't get a hysterectomy you're too young. Ended up seeing a locum because my doc was on leave, the woman went through my file, asked how many kids I had and said right, that's enough, booking you into hospital. Two weeks later I was operated on. Total bliss.
Pumpkin Spice 3 years ago
I get back pain, acne, cramps, mood swings, craving, and an intense desire to be cuddled by a tall blond twink. (Don't blame me, I'm very specific.)
Enby.Minecraft.Bee. 3 years ago
I don't get mood sings or craving and i barely get cramps, but my skin get really dry or oily and my hair gets greasy.
#44
Our empathy. During the 2016 election, I had a coworker look up at our TV mid shift at Hillary Clinton giving a speech. She shook her head and said a "Women can never be qualified enough to be leaders, they're too emotional." She was covered in bruises and sporting a black eye that her boyfriend had given her the night before. A woman who has been systematically beaten and abused by the men around her had enough empathy to give men the benefit of doubt regarding leadership, but most men cringe at the word 'feminism' because it uses 'fem' as its etymological root and most men will never be able to see past that.
Claire Todd 3 years ago (edited)
I feel for her but I wouldn't describe what she said as empathy, I would describe it as gaslighting, self-preservation or cycles of abuse. She wasn't empathising with men, she was repeating what had been beaten into her.
Tobias Rieper 3 years ago
i dont think the reason men cant see past it is the word fem it has to do with the few women that use it as a reason to just hate on men and blame them for all the evils of the world they overshadow the real feminists that do want real equality
Susie Elle 3 years ago
I guess it's human tendency to project the doings of a few onto the entire group the few belong to.
Load More Replies... Marco Conti 3 years ago
That is too sad for words. It's even more sad that women hold those views. I do not necessarily agree with these women's political views, but let me drop a few names: Angela Merkel, Margaret Thatcher, Jacinda Ardern. Tell me what made these women inferior leaders to any man. Explain it in detail, not just by spouting platitudes and nonsense. I for one wouldn’t want to tangle with Merkel, retired or not. She looks like someone that can chew you up and spit you out while she is putting eyeliner on. Her best endorsement? How she made DJT mad as hell. It's because he knew she was his intellectual superior (of course, my cat probably is too).
#45
As a girl you are talked to about how strangers want to touch you before you get the sex talk. At that point it’s too late because you’ve already been violated and feel like your body is dirty but you are just a kid…. You don’t learn that your body is actually your own until you are much older.
Elaine Elder 3 years ago
I'm 55 this month. My mother handed me little black book thee week before my first wedding. And told me "sometimes he's going to want to do stuff you don't want to do, but after you are married, you have to do these things" the book was anatomy of male and female genitalia. Think high school anatomy text books. No how to on anything including hygiene. 0
Stephanie Keith 3 years ago
Who is raising these kid's? My goodness that is insane that anyone would think this is the way to guide and teach about sex and your body.
Elliot Fowler 3 years ago
Then go create a post called "things women would never understand about men" and put this piece of info there.
Load More Replies... #46
The fact that you have to take a “compliment”. If a friend, colleague etc says something inappropriate it’s just easier to accept it / laugh it off because if you make a scene you’re the party pooper / sensitive / can’t take a joke person. To be fair it is changing though
Marco Conti 3 years ago
Are they "compliments" though? I know men. They are my tribe, so I know their rituals and motivations. Men, by and large, wouldn't notice if a woman was wearing a horned fur hat and they are not by nature inclined to compliments unless they have an agenda. Your partner may be different, but your average single guy is oblivious to fashion trends and if they compliment your dress they likely mean you have a nice ass and they think that by "softening you up" they are going to score. Of course, "not all men". I know. I am not one of them, so I know not all men are like that, but an awful lot are. More than I find comfortable and I am a guy.
#47
When purchasing something new or expensive such as a vehicle as a young woman, being accused of using “daddy’s money”.
Tuna Fish 3 years ago
I once got asked by a car dealer... "Does your husband know you're here?"
Scagsy 3 years ago
Your response: 'No. If he did, he would have warned me about the unprofessional, misogynistic pillocks that work here'. I so hope you said that.
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Kallen Kneeland 3 years ago
While not minimizing this issue AT ALL, please remember that you are just 1 or 2 GENERATIONs away from not being able to get a loan or credit card in your own name (1974 in the US, so your mom's or grandmother's generation). Nor could they make a purchase like a car WITHOUT a man's permission and co-signature, never mind a house or other real estate. Now you can do those things, but there are still @$$h0l3s who question it. Progress, but not equality. Keep up the fight - these types of lists are helpful to educate those who don't get it yet.
Jasper Cool 3 years ago
There is a car dealership in the last town I lived in that would not sell to you unless your husband was there. In 2017.
#48
The discomfort and anxiety, of needing to bring my vehicle to a garage and the worry that we're being ripped off, because we're women and supposedly easy targets for that kind of shit.
Marco Conti 3 years ago
That's nice to hear. I'd probably use her services more because mechanics don't have a great reputation, as a group, and likely a woman mechanic is less likely to rip you off. "Less likely" being the operative word here.
Load More Replies... ZAPanda 3 years ago
I think her point is that mechanics (usually men) assume that female customers know nothing about cars and load the prices. So it says more about mechanics' ethics.
Load More Replies... #49
A lack of sex drive has nothing to do with a male partner. We have a whole heap of hormones that can cause it, and it doesn’t mean we don’t love you.
ZAPanda 3 years ago (edited)
Yep but I think it might be stereotyped to point out the obvious that men "supposedly" have this high drive and women "don't" and that it leads to these misunderstandings. I had this experience of the difference in my 2nd relationship and it led to a breakup. So sometimes you need to decide what it means to the other person. Or ask them.
Magdalena Bedernik 3 years ago
Hi, I think the post means more that men take it personally if a woman doesn't behave like women in the movies do, all hot for him all the time. I've had this issue: my previous boyfriends didn't understand that a) my body operates differently. I have a difficult time orgasming, and it has NOTHING to do with my feelings for them and b) so many things affect my sex drive. I'm sure men have some of these issues as well and it should be talked about. But the takeaway: your dealing with a human being, take time to understand how their body works instead of assuming it's personal and a reflection of you.
Load More Replies... #50
Almost all of the time, you're always going to be considered second rate compared to a man whether at home or work. No matter how more educated you are, no matter how much more you've worked, no matter how much you've achieved, a man's opinion is listened to more.
Lynne Walker 3 years ago
I worked automotive for over 20 years, and during that time, my FIL never thought I knew more than a loaned OBD.
Marco Conti 3 years ago
To be fair, and this doesn't negate the general point at all, there is a thing called "Overfamiliarity". That's the inability for a close friend or relative that has known you for a long time, to comprehend that you have become proficient at something outside of their awareness. I am a web developer and a good one. Yet when my brother needed a new website, he hired someone else to do it, despite me offering it for free. Why? Because we live in different countries and he doesn't know me for my professional accomplishments. He knows me as his goofball brother. He wasn't around when I established myself as a pro in the field. Of course, in your case it could be plain old misogyny. Maybe both.
Load More Replies... Katiekat 3 years ago
Hype yourself! Do some self-promotion. It will feel weird at first, but the payoff is worth it, literally and figuratively. Guy is halfway right, don't allow it to happen. And don't be afraid to insert yourself and bring up your credentials as a way to establish you know what you are talking about. Done it many times.
Erla Zwingle 3 years ago
Most women can distinguish between something they believe and something they know. All women know that a man's opinion is listened to more. Belief has nothing to do with it.
Load More Replies... #51
Menstrual pain and child birth.
I know you can describe it to us, but it’s one of those things that I don’t think can be truly comprehended
Omi bub 3 years ago
Not to mention the physical & mental anguish of peri- menopause & menopause for YEARS
Evil Little Thing 3 years ago
I'm kinda digging perimenopause. Sure, I never know whether I'm hot or cold, but I give zero f***s about things that used to distress me.
Load More Replies... Karis Ravenhill 3 years ago
If you put in all the horrors of what truly happens to your body during menstruation and childbirth - the ripping of flesh, the hormones destroying your skin & hair & waistline, screwing up your brain so you can't even make a cup of tea, breasts leaking milk through your shirt while you're out and everyone can see, the pain being so debilitating you can't stand up and are screaming on the floor, your limbs will get larger and stay that way for life, you're adding 7yrs to your genetic age with every child - NO YOUNG WOMAN WOULD EVER WANT TO GET PREGNANT. Stop glorifying periods and childbirth as these magical unicorn events where we're sitting on lilypads being fed grapes and Enya playing in the background. It's blood, guts, gore and agony. At times I wish I felt transgender so I could switch to being a guy and never deal with this Phantom Of The Opera nightmare again. THAT'S how crap it is to live with this biology.
#52
How a woman’s body changes after giving birth (losing their hair, etc).
Courtney Lunsford 3 years ago
Women losing hair after pregnancy is more of a function of the fact that you shed less hair during pregnancy due to hormones and after you give birth you shed everything you haven't been shedding over the last 9 months.
Jasper Cool 3 years ago
Losing teeth, gallbladder function, thyroid function, bladder function, sphincter function, developing migraines, autoimmune disorders, vaginal atrophy, vaginal vein disorders, early menopause, diabetes...just some of the possibilities.
Karis Ravenhill 3 years ago
Don't forget that every child ages the telomeres on your DNA by 7yrs. Makes sense when the more kids a woman has, the more haggard she looks.
Claire Todd 3 years ago
Wow. You realise this article isn't about blaming men right? You read the title right?
Load More Replies... #53
Going to the bathroom in groups because we feel safer, can do a period leak/outfit check, and have someone to talk s**t with while we wait in line.
Karis Ravenhill 3 years ago
I'm the odd one out in this, as a woman I prefer to go to the bathroom by myself. Only reason I ever like going with other women is so we can do boob comparisons. I get to freely grope another woman's beautiful breasts and it's socially acceptable. One of the ONLY perks of being a woman.
Caroline Nagel 3 years ago
The only good thing about menopause is the fact that you don't get your periods anymore. No checking for leaks, no money spent on pads or tampons.
J. G. 3 years ago
I hate that I didnt discover the simple genius of menstrual cups much earlier.
Load More Replies... #54
Even though we love our partners, it can be exhausting to be your only emotional outlet. Women spread their support network across different people.
Magdalena Bedernik 3 years ago (edited)
To answer ZAPanda's question (2 separate links, don't know why this clumps everything together): https://amp-smh-com-au.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/amp.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life-and-relationships/maaate-why-men-need-to-keep-their-friends-20200604-p54zky.html?amp_js_v=a6&_gsa=1&usqp=mq331AQKKAFQArABIIACAw%3D%3D#aoh=16448593882063&referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&_tf=From%20%251%24s&share=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.smh.com.au%2Flifestyle%2Flife-and-relationships%2Fmaaate-why-men-need-to-keep-their-friends-20200604-p54zky.html https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a27259689/toxic-masculinity-male-friendships-emotional-labor-men-rely-on-women/ Also I read it in a book about healthy aging, and have observed it in family and friend's marriages. Obviously not everyone, but enough that it has been written about. That is why ZAPanda is being down voted. Their response is judgemental, defensive, and ignorant, as opposed to inquisitive.
Load More Replies... Marco Conti 3 years ago
I find that for many men the issue is quite the opposite. They bottle their emotions until they uncork once and for all, often with very bad consequences. Of course, there are needy people and there are complainers. I'd think it would be good for some men to be emotionally sensitive. This doesn't mean staging a pity party every chance they get or manipulating their mates to get their ego stroked.
Marco Conti 3 years ago
There is also another aspect to this. As I grew older I realized that some of my friends were either royal assholes or so utterly boring I could no longer relate to them. My wife is also my best friend. We leave each other alone but also we are there for one another. We have very similar interests and where we don't, we at least understand the passion that drives those interests enough not to judge or worse, get jealous. Relationships are a lot like river stones, we each sculpt our rough edges over time.
Load More Replies... Josy Bannon 3 years ago
This. This this. I feel sorry for them, I heard men say this often, but I cant be an unpaid full time therapist can I.
Summer Mason 3 years ago
Yes this. It's so exaghsting. Being your partner and kids outlet is unbearable at times. Like....can everyone give mommy a break? Please? Ugh. I love being a wife and mom but i can't fix everything.
Cadena Norton 3 years ago
Men will literally get mad if u complain about not going out with ur friends for a while. They will say u can just talk to me. But as this thread points out men don't understand allot of women's issues
Karis Ravenhill 3 years ago
Or they say "talk to me..." and stop listening, then get confused at why you're mad that they weren't listening. What a beautifully destructive spiral.
Load More Replies... #55
The constant sexualization of women like when bending over to get something you drop, they get stared at, but when men bend over no one cares
Jennifer Barrett 3 years ago
And how young you become aware that you have to think about how you pick something up. Not to protect your back but because of who might be looking and think your bum is now anyones to touch
River Daski 3 years ago
are you aware of it when a man does it without thinking? we shouldn't HAVE to think about how we're sexualized for doing something innocent like picking something up.
Load More Replies... fandomprincess (any pronouns) 3 years ago
Not just bending over, other stuff too. Even simple things like sitting down. I'm not anywhere close to 'ladylike' and I spread my legs apart when I sit down. I've noticed men reacting to this a few times.
Pumpkin Spice 3 years ago
I leaned to pick things up with my feet to avoid men ogling me. I'm talking toe grips if I'm barefoot, full-on Hacky Sack with sneakers if I'm not.
Marco Conti 3 years ago
Have you looked at most men? There is nothing to care about unless they faceplant in the process. That said, yes, it is annoying. Most men will never know what it feels like to be objectified. Most men also are not capable of behaving otherwise, either because they think it's what expected of them or because they think that's what women want. Most people are oblivious in general, sadly.
#56
We would rather be friends with other women than have catfights.
Gin 3 years ago
Hmm... I think it is rather more personality led then by any male/female split but that might just be the people I've met! Seems to me anyone can get pissed off and hold a grudge. The bitchiest person I know is my brother in law and he moans plenty about people when they're not around (I'm not a fan of his). The most likely to punch someone I know? My sister.
Load More Replies... #57
The sacrifice she will make to carry a child, birth a child, feed and care for that child. And not to mention the monthly cycle she has to endure for majority of her life.
ZAPanda 3 years ago (edited)
I saw some research that you CAN go on the pill indefinitely and that the red ones were put in there by a man who thought it was unnatural to not have the cycle. So that should stop it all. Unless of course you have side-effects from it which are unpleasant. My first long-term partner did the continuous pill thing but my 2nd could not due to side effects so with her we just had to reduce frequency and use alternatives.
Karis Ravenhill 3 years ago
Or all guys could freeze some sperm, get a vasectomy, then women wouldn't have to spend their lives screwing with their body chemistry just so they can attempt to have a life of their own without being surrounded by sprogs, or face the life of a nun. Being on lifelong birth control is not actually good for the body, brings so many problems. Burden shouldn't all be on us, guys can do their part.
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Erla Zwingle 3 years ago
Jesus. The point isn't pregnancy itself, the POINT is that she has made sacrifices that deserve to be honored and respected. If you don't think having a child is worthy of respect, then that's on you, not her. The "way of nature" you so breezily refer to usually involves the baby animal walking or flying or swimming within minutes, if not a few hours, after birth, and after a year (or less) it's out in the world on its own. Your happy little "way of nature" works fine for dolphins and buzzards, but human children need f*cktons of time and effort to raise and nurture. You might ask your mother what she sacrificed to birth and raise you, then you can have a chat with her about the "way of nature." Should be fun.
Susie Elle 3 years ago (edited)
Guy, you have the empathic capacity of a rock. I hope I don't have to explain to you that the sacrifice is necessary if you want to have a child, that it is a sacrifice regardless and that it's one men can only objectively comprehend rather than physically.
Load More Replies... #58
Feeling something hard or pointy stab your boob when someone hugs you. Our breasts are so sensitive.
Izzy Curer 3 years ago
I don't think mine are more sensitive than any other part. I don't want to stabbed by something pointy in my tummy or arm, either
#59
In my experience, post partum depression takes the crown.
Karis Ravenhill 3 years ago
My grandmother kept trying to murder my mother in her crib, wasn't til years later docs figured out there was something called post partum depression. "Would stand by her crib and stare at her, and hate her. Would see the blanket on the edge, and kept thinking if I just nudged it onto her face, she would suffocate and I wouldn't have to deal with her anymore". That shi*'s super frightening, watch and support new momma's like hawks!
Jasper Cool 3 years ago
Psychosis and anxiety during and after pregnancy are also horrible and not talked about as much. Women are so often dismissed for being worriers.
Marco Conti 3 years ago
Depression after major surgery is in itself something that is not understood very well. Add to it the radical life changing event of having a child, alongside the body changes, the pain and the hormonal firestorm, and I am surprised that all women do not suffer from it.
Izzy Curer 3 years ago (edited)
Man, a few days after I had my wisdom teeth taken out, I just started bawling for no reason right in the middle of my parents' living room, and I looked at my mom and said I had no idea why it was happening. She had to explain to me how surgery works. I'd had no idea
Load More Replies... Vera1 3 years ago
It is spoken about, just not on an article which is about things women want men to understand. Are you hurt we're not talking about men for once?
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#60
Dealing with excruciating pain from breastfeeding. The constant engorgement is ungodly. And my baby couldn’t latch correctly, so I would always be in extreme pain — blisters, cracking, bleeding nipples.
Not Proud British 3 years ago
Hell yeah, I can relate to this. Not being able to feed in public even if I wanted to because the baby would pull away and my breasts would shoot milk at innocent passers-by. I also had mastitis and trying to feed a baby on breasts that were infected, swollen and sore was agony. But I felt I had to get through it as I would have 'failed' if I chose the bottle.
Shannon Sellers 3 years ago
Best advice I ever got as a new mom: Formula is not failure. Remember-most studies pointing to the benefits of breast over formula were funded by breast pump manufacturers who just want you to pump and get back to work.
Load More Replies... Tuna Fish 3 years ago
I had the bleeding raw chapped nipples when trying to breast feed. My best advice came from my male doctor (the female nurses were judgmental as hell). He said the point of breast feeding your baby is to give nutrition and more importantly for you to bond. You can get nutrition from formula but if you are crying every time he latches on and you are in pain you are not bonding. You do what you have to do for both you and your child and everything will be fine.
Babsevs 3 years ago
Good doctor! Glad you had support...I had just 1 good midwife that helped...the others were like the lactation police, made me feel useless!
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Katchen 3 years ago
Pumping can help, but in my experience the problem was that pumping is less efficient than breastfeeding, so it’s hard to pump enough milk if you’re only going to pump and bottle feed. Your body will respond to less milk being taken and start making less. Also, pumps have adjustable suction strength, and well, turning it up too strong can go horribly wrong. First hand experience talking here.
Load More Replies... Jasper Cool 3 years ago
And the pressure to breast feed! My son could not latch and they made me syringe feed him with pumped milk and formula instead of a bottle so it wouldn't ruin his latching chance. 7 breastfeeding "experts" later he never did latch and he cried every time I had to reload the syringe and not one of those people said hey...its ok to formula feed. They just kept telling me I must be doing it wrong.
Karis Ravenhill 3 years ago
If i ever have a baby, I think i'm going to go the route of using the breast pump to fill up the fridge, then feed the baby the breast milk in a bottle. Almost every woman i've ever known who's breastfed had this problem, it's like a design fault of the human body for child production.
Dee 3 years ago
Just to add some anecdotal data to your information base.. I loved breastfeeding, both my babies took to it easily and I was a young mom with virtually no baby experience. With my eldest after the first little while I didn’t even really wake up for night feedings, I would wake up in the morning with him snuggled up to me (his crib being in my room likely helped). My youngest was nursed until they were 18 months, it ended so naturally I can’t even say how exactly. My sister and DIL both had good breastfeeding experiences as well. A friend of mine nursed her little one til she was 3, the mom took a trip while the grandparents took care of her daughter. Her milk had dried up when she got back so she told her daughter she had drank it all up 😝. I’ve known a few women who struggled as well, no judgement there - everyone has to deal with the circumstances they have. I just wanted to put forth some good experiences too, I think it’s worth giving it a try as you don’t know til you do.
Load More Replies... Tuna Fish 3 years ago
Yeah Paula I talked to a lot of nurses like you. FWIW you suck and so do your language skills. You only think this way due to uncorect teech tecnique.
Load More Replies... #61
plucking the black hairs that randomly emerge on my boobs. or having to try on several different bra's because of the difference in breast shape each bra has. or maybe the awkwardness of having to ask strangers for a tampon because your 3 seconds away from everyone knowing you're on your period.
fandomprincess (any pronouns) 3 years ago
We need to normalize asking strangers for pads/tampons. It shouldn't be awkward, if you're asking them they should be an adult and is going through the exact same thing
ZAPanda 3 years ago
Men get stupid hairs in stupid places as well. My one brother looks like a f*****g gorilla. I refuse and have to remove 2-3 of the things every day as well to not end up like him. So yes.
Monika Molnar 3 years ago (edited)
IPL device. It changes people's lives ;) .
Load More Replies... #62
The assumption that everyone knows exactly what I want without me telling them.
Memere 3 years ago
True, but it happens more to women in a lot of situations. Men insisting on ordering food for the woman at a restaurant, drinks at a bar. I've had men tell me I was getting the wrong thing at the hardware store when I knew exactly what I wanted.
Load More Replies... #63
Men are always super weird about hot flashes.
User# 6 3 years ago
We just don't understand because it is such an alien concept to us. But, when you try to explain, we're like 'ewww, shut up!'
Load More Replies... Isabel Care 3 years ago
Met a great guy on the train. He asked about my rechargeable fan that also spritzes water. He was on hormone treatment and got hot flushes "like menopause". I aid "No, manopause" He was the first person I'd met that, like me, has to use a fan, icepack and heat pad at the same time, just on different parts. I'm melting from summer temp, hot flush and memory foam, but my back still wants a bucket of lava on it.
#64
Peeing on the toilet a little and feeling it flow up your buttcrack.
NsG 3 years ago
Uh... I'm a 41 year old woman and I've never experienced this! This is not a universal woman thing!
ZAPanda 3 years ago (edited)
Not being unsympathetic but being old male with prostate problems and have it dribble everywhere and mess your shoes, etc. is probably a similar experience.
Gin 3 years ago
My husband would sympathise. He's had a prostate reduction operation and now when he pees it goes at an angle! Poor chap has started sitting down instead.
Load More Replies... ChimeraBubbles 3 years ago
Uh, this has to be a joke because that can't be a thing! Is she forgetting to lift the toilet lid first?! Even then....
Katchen 3 years ago
My son peed while sleepwalking and forgot to lift the lid. I think this woman did the same thing.
Load More Replies... Isabel Care 3 years ago
Having a sprinkler system. Stress incontinence, shooting pee straight out one end of your crack or the other, right past the pad
Cherry Lane 3 years ago
People have different structures down there, for me, it's easy. A small amount of liquid goes over surfaces when enough tension and gravity pulls it.
River Daski 3 years ago
I've had it roll backward into the labia, but not the buttcrack. (thanks genetics, giving me a long labia) could just be exaggerating
Karis Ravenhill 3 years ago
Physically impossible. You don't know how to sit on a toilet properly. Re-do your toddler potty training, and stop making out that all women are so incapable that we can't even pee sitting down without making a mess of ourselves.
What do you think ?
Beth S 3 years ago
I would also like to add pelvic organ prolapse. Two weeks after I turned 40 I tried to lift something heavy and 3 organs fell into my pelvis and has really complicated life big time. It is even more common in women who have given birth.
Aaricia 3 years ago
This! My mother blames me for her bladder prolapse, which is true. Lol Many mothers have it, a bladder or womb or both prolapse is also known as the motherly prolapse.
Load More Replies...
ToGo 3 years ago (edited)
Pleased to see that there are plenty of men here who fully understand that this was a post about some things women go through and not a post about men. No one, at any stage, said all of these are issues exclusive to women. However, to the guys saying "but men XYZ" or "not all men XYZ" then you've failed to grasp the very simple intent of this article. When women say "I have to be alert walking alone" and you're not an evil dude then WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU. We have some fantastic guys in our lives - we know it's NoT aLL mEn.
Grayson Wrigley 3 years ago
I find it hilarious that I have seen more "this comment is hidden"s on this one article than on the last three or four combined. Not surprised.
Bacony Cakes 3 years ago
I wonder how much percentage of them are by our "old friends".
Load More Replies... Susie Elle 3 years ago
Self-doubt. Idk, from what I gather from my female friends vs my male friends, always second guessing yourself or thinking something is by default by your own doing, seems to be really a female way of looking at yourself.
TheFox 3 years ago
As a guy I can figure the only reason any men disregard or downplay women's daily struggles and especially dangers, either are a s**t person or have never had a woman in their life that they love and care about. Probably both.
Leona V. 3 years ago
It’s because they are s**T people. “Of course I care about This women’s issue, I have a mother/wife/daughter.” Is close to “Rape is a property crime” mentality in my book. The injustice is STILL against men. Men who use that reasoning are just slightly less s**tty.
Load More Replies... Paula Marowsky 3 years ago
Painfull medical procedures on women WITHOUT anesthesics SHOULD be in this list. Much more important than lacking pockets, bras and makeup.
Gin 3 years ago
You seem to think this is a list about what is horrible for women, rather than things men don't understand about women. Yes, the things you list are awful but I think men would be largely very capable of understanding that painful medical procedures without anaesthetic is horrific.
Load More Replies... Jaekry 3 years ago
I'm and wasn't easily scared. Now or as a teen. I still walked home (city life, 20m orso), because I wasn't going to be ruled by fear. Yet I walked home with my keys between my fingers (to explain: like Wolverine, nobody taught me that... Yet apparently many women do this??) So yes, it's embedded. Now I'm torn because ppl say I exaggerate my behaviour... But I honestly feel these ppl don't understand. I'm not mad for them not understanding. But weirdly enough, I can get frustrated that ppl don't believe ME.
Izzy Curer 3 years ago (edited)
The one that gets me is that men seem to think PMS means you're on your period. It's right in the name: Pre-menstrual syndrome
Beth S 3 years ago
I would also like to add pelvic organ prolapse. Two weeks after I turned 40 I tried to lift something heavy and 3 organs fell into my pelvis and has really complicated life big time. It is even more common in women who have given birth.
Aaricia 3 years ago
This! My mother blames me for her bladder prolapse, which is true. Lol Many mothers have it, a bladder or womb or both prolapse is also known as the motherly prolapse.
Load More Replies... ToGo 3 years ago (edited)
Pleased to see that there are plenty of men here who fully understand that this was a post about some things women go through and not a post about men. No one, at any stage, said all of these are issues exclusive to women. However, to the guys saying "but men XYZ" or "not all men XYZ" then you've failed to grasp the very simple intent of this article. When women say "I have to be alert walking alone" and you're not an evil dude then WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU. We have some fantastic guys in our lives - we know it's NoT aLL mEn.
Grayson Wrigley 3 years ago
I find it hilarious that I have seen more "this comment is hidden"s on this one article than on the last three or four combined. Not surprised.
Bacony Cakes 3 years ago
I wonder how much percentage of them are by our "old friends".
Load More Replies... Susie Elle 3 years ago
Self-doubt. Idk, from what I gather from my female friends vs my male friends, always second guessing yourself or thinking something is by default by your own doing, seems to be really a female way of looking at yourself.
TheFox 3 years ago
As a guy I can figure the only reason any men disregard or downplay women's daily struggles and especially dangers, either are a s**t person or have never had a woman in their life that they love and care about. Probably both.
Leona V. 3 years ago
It’s because they are s**T people. “Of course I care about This women’s issue, I have a mother/wife/daughter.” Is close to “Rape is a property crime” mentality in my book. The injustice is STILL against men. Men who use that reasoning are just slightly less s**tty.
Load More Replies... Paula Marowsky 3 years ago
Painfull medical procedures on women WITHOUT anesthesics SHOULD be in this list. Much more important than lacking pockets, bras and makeup.
Gin 3 years ago
You seem to think this is a list about what is horrible for women, rather than things men don't understand about women. Yes, the things you list are awful but I think men would be largely very capable of understanding that painful medical procedures without anaesthetic is horrific.
Load More Replies... Jaekry 3 years ago
I'm and wasn't easily scared. Now or as a teen. I still walked home (city life, 20m orso), because I wasn't going to be ruled by fear. Yet I walked home with my keys between my fingers (to explain: like Wolverine, nobody taught me that... Yet apparently many women do this??) So yes, it's embedded. Now I'm torn because ppl say I exaggerate my behaviour... But I honestly feel these ppl don't understand. I'm not mad for them not understanding. But weirdly enough, I can get frustrated that ppl don't believe ME.
Izzy Curer 3 years ago (edited)
The one that gets me is that men seem to think PMS means you're on your period. It's right in the name: Pre-menstrual syndrome
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