From less risk of depression to better self-esteem, a loving father-daughter relationship can provide benefits for a lifetime.

The truth is, whether we like it or not, fathers are our first role models when we come into this world. They play a huge role in girls' development, confidence, and self-esteem; they lay a foundation for what we understand as trust, security and love.

But in reality, any woman who grew up with a father knows how complex and often difficult this relationship can be. “Daughters of Reddit, what is something you wish your father knew about girls when you were growing up?” someone asked in this Ask Reddit thread that turned into a raw and very candid read.

#1

30 Daughters Share What Their Fathers Didn't Know While They Were Growing Up Unwanted sexual attention from grown men doesn't always come from strangers. It comes from "family friends" too.

Pay attention to your friends' behaviors and comments around your kids.

My dad cut off a longtime friend after catching him leering at me in a bathing suit at a pool party when I was only 12.

maryjanesandbobbysox , Andrea Piacquadio Report

To find out more about the role of a father in a child’s development, we reached out to Rachel Rothman, MS, RD, CLEC registered dietitian and childhood nutrition expert in San Diego, who is also the author of Nutrition In Bloom.

Rothman argues that a father, and parent or caregiver in general, bonding with a child is crucial for a child's development. “Parents provide children with a sense of security, which is so important from a young age. They also provide a role model, which is so important as a child develops,” she explained.

When it comes to establishing a close bond with your children from an early age, Rothman said that the best advice she can give is to be there. “When it comes to parenting, there are so many things we often feel we ‘should’ be doing,” she said.

“However, being there for our child, listening to our child, and offering support are so important. I also feel it's important for a parent to take care of themselves, to take time for themselves, and get the support they need,” Rothman concluded.

#2

30 Daughters Share What Their Fathers Didn't Know While They Were Growing Up Disclaimer: I love my dad, we have a great relationship, he has always believed in my abilities at the end of the day.

That when you let your 10 year old son have more freedom to ride bikes far from home, go to the store alone, and take risks than your 13 year old daughter for no other reason than her gender, she's going to be PISSED and spend the next 10 years rejecting all things feminine because you have convinced her that to be female means to be weak and vulnerable. Masculinity does not equal strength and maturity, and femininity does not equal weakness and gullibility. It took a long time, but he recognizes that now.

blindtoblue , Bablu Kumar Report

Got Myself 4 Pandas
Community Member
1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had this fight with my dad around 15yrs old, his reasoning behind me needing stricter rules was because I "could get pregnant" even though I was nowhere near doing any of that stuff - informed him my brothers could get multiple girls pregnant every week so maybe concentrate on their behaviour - something he never considered before. After that we agreed that I would no longer ask for permission as such but just let them know where I was, who with etc, and be home by set times - not once did I ever feel the need to lie to them about where I was, I didn't feel the need to rebel and I felt trusted - something I have carried over onto my own children

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#3

30 Daughters Share What Their Fathers Didn't Know While They Were Growing Up Our standards of how we expect to be treated by men come from how you treat our mothers.

Show her kindness, we will expect kindness. Treat her like s**t and we assume being treated like s**t is normal.

ratchnad , Oren Atias Report

It's no secret that the relationship between fathers and daughters is complex, to say the least. We often hear about fathers' lack of affection and inability to form close bonds with their children. Sometimes it turns into a difficult relationship between them that starts at an early age. But in order to understand why and how it happens, we have to take a step back and look at the way fatherhood and manhood are portrayed in our society.

So we reached out to Christopher Blazina, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist practicing in Albuquerque, New Mexico, a researcher, and a retired professor. He also published seven books, including “Men and Their Dogs” and “When Man Meets Dog,” which was awarded the National Indie Excellence Award for Men’s Health.

“It is important to say that in Western culture there is a very rigid approach to what is considered ‘masculine,’” Blazina told us. He continued: “These include being stoic, tough, and denying a need to emotionally bond with others.”

#4

30 Daughters Share What Their Fathers Didn't Know While They Were Growing Up That we take everything he says to heart and he has to be kind. His words can leave deep wounds that stay with her for a lifetime

EnzoEllo , Elina Fairytale Report

Topaz wolf Zzz
Community Member
1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yeah, I still remember my dad calling me an embarrassment. can't stop thinking about it even though it was a long time ago.

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#5

30 Daughters Share What Their Fathers Didn't Know While They Were Growing Up Treating every boy interested in your daughter as your enemy does both of you a disservice.

My dad was very over-protective. Any time a boy had a crush on me, he would be immediately added to my dad's shitlist. Even if he was perfectly kind and respectful.

After a certain point, I just stopped listening to my dad's complaints. In my eyes, he had lost the right to give input about my relationships.

Unfortunately, when I was 17 I became entangled in an abusive relationship.

My dad hated the guy. But since he also hated every one of my previous suitors, I didn't interpret his concerns as legitimate.

On top of that: since he was so busy trying to *prevent* me from having relationships, he never talked to me about what a healthy relationship looks like.

angederoses , Crypto Crow Report

UKGrandad
Community Member
1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've always thought there is something creepy about over-protective fathers. It's just odd the way they seem to view their daughters boyfriends as 'rivals', as though they're saving their daughters for themselves

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#6

30 Daughters Share What Their Fathers Didn't Know While They Were Growing Up That if you say your eight year old is “too chubby” to wear something that is going to stick in her brain forever. Choose your words wisely and realize that not only the super skinny child had worth.

SoVeryTired81 Report

Kate Jones
Community Member
1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes. I was never pretty to my dad. And I understand some people may find that outdated but it affected me. I started gaining weight after I hit puberty and it was a neverending bombardment. I was already constantly thinking about it and always comparing myself to other girls. But I think it would have helped if my dad wasn't calling me 'buffalo butt' or 'linebacker legs' because his idea of motivation was to degrade. He just thinks that's how to get someone to do something (although he'd never been degraded by anyone in his family, god-forbid. ::rollseyes::) I've been chunky most of my life and even though he's gotten a lot better and doesn't call me names anymore, he always has a comment like, 'you should lose weight'. It's like, ..I'm 43. Will it just ever stop? Can't you just be my dad and be sweet to me?

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“While some research suggests these gender roles loosen some as men hit middle age and beyond, the effects of decades of attempting to adhere to very rigid rules for being a male can linger,” the professor explained.

According to Blazina, this presents a complex issue “because for all the rigid rules, men are still social creatures that are hardwired to make and sustain emotional bonds with others.”

Interestingly, as men age, they undergo dramatic personality changes. They can be observed not just in their relationships with humans–close relatives, daughters and sons, partners, etc., but also in their bond with animal companions.

#7

30 Daughters Share What Their Fathers Didn't Know While They Were Growing Up Don't just assume your daughter won't be interested in your activities because they aren't stereotypically girly or because once as a small child, she didn't want to do it. Not wanting, say, go hiking or fishing when I was 5 years old doesn't mean I never ever want to do it. Keep trying to get your kids involved in your life and don't just give up. You're teaching them not to share things about themselves and losing the chance to bond over something you love.

allthebacon_and_eggs , Discover Corps Report

#8

30 Daughters Share What Their Fathers Didn't Know While They Were Growing Up Your children are always more important than your second or third wife.

karonhiakatste , Heather Mount Report

Jerry Mathers
Community Member
1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

More to the point, if she is in competition with your kids, take a pass. She isn't the one. If she prioritizes her kids over yours, she isn't the one. Far better is no step-mom than one that doesn't respect your relationship with your kids.

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#9

Dear dad,

I have my own brain. Not everything I say has been concocted by my “liberal professor” or [insert male SO’s name here]. Believe it or not, I am 100% capable of forming and voicing my own opinion.

Love,
your special snowflake liberal millennial daughter with a 4 year engineering degree.

plopo Report

Icecream Sarang
Community Member
1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because, Dad, women are into STEM, too. Says your daughter with 25 years working IT.

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In fact, Blazina argues that in middle aged and elderly men, animal companions can take on a more complex and central role. According to him, “this is in part due to the fact that men’s social networks are usually always smaller but as males age, they shrink to the size of a postage stamp – a romantic partner and if they are lucky, an animal companion.”

#10

When you catcall 16 year olds, it affects me.

When you moo at overweight girls, it affects me.

When you go through my magazine and literally place your 1-10 rating on each of their foreheads, it affects me.

Basically, the way you treat and talk about women affects me. It let's us know what's "normal" and how we should expect to be treated by men.

DigYourBone Report

#11

30 Daughters Share What Their Fathers Didn't Know While They Were Growing Up That it doesn't make you look weak to show affection once in a while. My dad hardly ever hugged us or said he loved us.

anon , Nan Palmero Report

Vae
Community Member
1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I kinda feel this. Dad was never a huge hugger, solid hand shake though. Though, recently has been getting better about the hugs.

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#12

30 Daughters Share What Their Fathers Didn't Know While They Were Growing Up Not girls in general, but I wish he understood that depression is an illness. He spent years angry with me and thinking I was just spoiled. It wasn't til I was in college that he realized I wasn't just a drama queen, I was actually sick and needed medication. That realization has done wonders for our relationship.

queensnow725 , Darina Belonogova Report

BannedFromABoatShow
Community Member
1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had on and off depression episodes my whole life, and it was always me being “attention seeking” and I better knock it off. Then I got such horrible postpartum depression with my first baby that if I’d been left alone with her, I’d have abandoned her at a hospital and I wouldn’t have told my husband which one. That made my dad think ok, that’s not normal but just suck it up and you’ll be fine. About 5 years ago all comments stopped. Only just found out why - Dad has developed some pretty severe anxiety and is on medication for it. And suddenly mental health is real.

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Simultaneously, this places a lot of emphasis on emotional support from just a few connections. “In one study, 45% of middle-aged men were more likely to turn to their dogs in times of emotional support than any other connection—parents, friends, siblings, and adult children; the only bond that rivaled the one with a dog was their significant other.”

“Another study,” Blazina quoted, “found that as men get older (middle-aged), men are also more likely to derive more emotional comfort from the bond with their dog. Making things even more complex is the research suggesting males tend to mask and underreport their emotional behaviors and feelings for their dogs for fear of being thought less manly.”

#13

30 Daughters Share What Their Fathers Didn't Know While They Were Growing Up That not every instance of anger or sadness on my part was because "it must be that time of the month." My dad is a great guy all around, but used to bring that up (even jokingly) waaaay too often.

totally_italian , Alex Green Report

and_a_touch_of_the_’tism
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ha, my dad’s the opposite. “You know not all emotional issues are pms, right? You’re allowed to just feel s****y.” He’s pretty great. Edit: aww thanks guy I think this is the most upvotes I’ve gotten! 🥰

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#14

30 Daughters Share What Their Fathers Didn't Know While They Were Growing Up How to build and support a healthy self-esteem and lifestyle habits. The things you say and the way you treat her can leave a lasting impression on your daughter.

I was a latchkey kid in an Asian household filled with cheap convenience foods (3 for $1 hotdog baos, Chinese crackers, etc) and lack of income for things to do outside of watching TV at home. So, I grew up overweight and uninformed about healthy lifestyle habits.

Since tween-hood, my dad was constantly on me about my body and bluntly laid it out that I would never find a boyfriend. If he saw me in a t-shirt or shorts, he’d comment on how big my arms/thighs looked. I’m now in my late 20s and still refuse to wear tanks/short sleeves/skirts/dresses/shorts because of that idea that has been ingrained in my thought process. The link between being fat and being single still has a huge presence in my mind.

My dad passed away last year from his own struggles with his health (cancer, diabetes, hypertension). Since then, I’ve made my own lifestyle changes and went to therapy. I am about halfway to my weight end goal and I’ve discovered a love for hiking, spin classes, and yoga. But trying to build up self esteem through reframing of things and positive self-talk has been the hardest struggle of all.

none4gretchen , Ron Lach Report

Dani Pret
Community Member
1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry about this. It hurts and lingers. I wonder if his comments were him berating himself for his poor parenting

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#15

30 Daughters Share What Their Fathers Didn't Know While They Were Growing Up That telling me "it's just in your head" anytime I felt *anything* other than happy as a clam, would make me grow up with anxiety and trust issues, and have a hard time expressing/talking about feelings, always thinking I'm "crazy". Just a side note to all you guys out there who have a problem with this- girls are allowed to feel anyway they want at any particular time, just like you. We do not exist to be your personal rays of sunshine. We are human too.

MotherOfKrakens95 , RODNAE Productions Report

Marie Dahme
Community Member
1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And please don’t ask us to “Smile, it makes you look so pretty!” Especially when we aren’t feeling it. If you’re allowed to have a bummer day so can we.

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#16

30 Daughters Share What Their Fathers Didn't Know While They Were Growing Up There are some men (and boys) who are perfectly decent when other men are around, but are not nice to women (and girls) when there are no other men around. Believe your daughter about her own lived experiences, even if you didn't witness them yourself.

And believe other women about their own lived experiences as well. If your daughter grows up hearing you talking about how your mother and sister were *clearly* overreacting when they said your childhood neighbour was creepy - because, after all, he was always perfectly decent to you - your daughter is not going to go to you when your own neighbour is creepy to her when you're not around.

anon Report

Daffydillz' Cold Contagious
Community Member
1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have unfortunately been a party to this behavior. It makes you feel like a victim all over again in certain situations when someone doesn't want to listen to you about how someone is unsafe creepy person to be around or has already made unwelcomed moves towards your person. It's very hurtful not to be believed.

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#17

30 Daughters Share What Their Fathers Didn't Know While They Were Growing Up I'm not sure about girls in general.

To me, I'd rather have had a dad who was *there*, than a dad who was successful and a workaholic.

When your dad is gone, you remember the silly little things: the bedtime stories he told you, playing with you on the beach, having ice cream together.

Be a father who is present in your daughter's life. Play with her when she's small. Tell her stories. When she's older, listen to her. Take an interest in her interests even if they sound silly. Take an interest in her life in general.

That's all anyone can ask.

Kay_Elle , Adeolu Eletu Report

Birdy
Community Member
1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can relate...my father was so involved in a religious cult, the congregation and bowing down to ministers that we were forgotten. I don't remember spending any fun times with him. It would've been nice to have had some common interests and happy memories.

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#18

30 Daughters Share What Their Fathers Didn't Know While They Were Growing Up Don't be scared of having your picture taken, if your daughter wants to take pictures of you, or especially with you, let them. My dad died when I was 13 years old and then I realized that all of his hiding from the camera meant I was left with only a handful of photos and he wasn't in any of our home videos. You don't realize how important they can be until you aren't able to make new ones

MitziMay , Laura Fuhrman Report

Razor Fang
Community Member
1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I understand that, but there's a phobia called scopophobia, and it means that you're terrified of cameras. Your dad might have had scopophobia- it's possible that he was avoiding the camera because it was a trigger for him. I speak from expirience.

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#19

30 Daughters Share What Their Fathers Didn't Know While They Were Growing Up When your daughter is going through puberty and starts getting her period, *don't* write off the things she's going through. There's all sorts of new hormones swirling around in there, and they're gonna affect her mood. She's getting periods, they're probably gonna hurt. Being in pain makes you grumpy, but don't write off every instance of anger or bad temper as being 'because you're on your period'. Maybe her mom doesn't get bad ones, maybe you've never thought about it because your wife is a grown woman who has learned to deal with her periods and the assorted mood swings and pains and moved on; your daughter hasn't yet. Be a little more thoughtful, help teach her ways to manage what she's feeling.

If she's in a lot of pain, and it doesn't change after a while, take her to a doctor. Maybe nothing's wrong and she got s**t luck, but she could have endometriosis or cystic ovaries. Stick up for her at the doctor - lots of women have trouble finding doctors who will listen to them about their pain, and it's very hard to advocate for yourself when you're only 14 and throwing up from pain.

writemynamewithstars Report

soakingwetbread
Community Member
1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my dad wouldnt even go out and get me pads when i was having horrible cramps

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#20

30 Daughters Share What Their Fathers Didn't Know While They Were Growing Up I have the most wonderful father in the world. This post isn't going to be things I wish he knew, but more things he did that were awesome when I was growing up since I'm seeing a lot of daddies with little girls commenting that they're reading this post.

My dad never hesitated to do "girly" things with me. He was the one who took me school shopping (we would often hit Starbucks and then pick up chocolate covered strawberries afterwards). He would fix my hair for school and paint my nails for me. I remember wanting a head full of tiny braids (this was the 90s) and he spent hours of his Saturday afternoon braiding. We played with Barbies and he actually came up with storylines for them and put effort into it. On the other hand, he also never kept me from doing "tomboy" things. I raised baby calves, helped him wash cars, and worked on the lawnmower.

When I was little we had "Daddy-Daughter" dates where we would go to Chuck-E-Cheese or mini-golfing. When I was in middle school and high school we would go to the pool together and lay out and talk. A few years ago we got tickets to see Miley Cyrus' Bangerz tour and got drunk together and had the best time.

He was always patient with anything regarding my self-esteem. He helped me lose weight when I was in middle school and waited for hours for me to get ready before we went somewhere, and never, ever commented on anything other than to compliment me.

The biggest thing I think that he did (and still does) is to encourage my independence. He helped me through school and constantly reminds me that I am a strong woman and that I don't ever have to get married if I don't want to (my mother used to put a lot of pressure on me to "settle down"). He is my friend along with being my dad. I'm forever thankful for him.

I truly am incredibly lucky to have him and I recognize that. I already tell him how much I appreciate him all the time and my first big tattoo was a portrait of us together but I think he will really love seeing this! Also, to all the dads who have commented saying they hope they can be like my dad - if you try to be, you will be! He put effort into our relationship and that's what matters. :)

ecarg92 , Anthony McKissic Report

Kate Jones
Community Member
1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like a wonderful man and I'm glad you have him. You're probably a well-adjusted individual! Hopefully because you were raised that way you pass it on to your own children and them to theirs.

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#21

30 Daughters Share What Their Fathers Didn't Know While They Were Growing Up Now that I’m an adult I realize just how wonderful my father really is. Not just in comparison to others but he is an objectively amazing father. He taught us children the hard life lessons while still protecting us. He taught us to be self sufficient and independent. He taught us to work hard and don’t give up just because things get challenging. He busted his a*s to make sure we got to go on vacation and experience life. He taught me to hunt, fish, and fix a car. He also taught me to garden and grow my own vegetables. How to take care of livestock and other animals with compassion.

However, he also treated me more like a son than a daughter. I only wish that my father would’ve acknowledged that I’m a girl and it’s okay for me to like dressing up and that it’s okay to “throw like a girl”. Granted, I got a full ride to college for sports and that’s partly because I had to hang with the boys and my dad didn’t want me to be a great female player but just a great player in general. I think he messed me up only in the sense that it’s extremely difficult for me to date. I’m either too intimidating to strangers or “one of the boys” to people I know. I think I lost my feminine side because I am so close to my dad and he was slightly dismissive of my emotional side. I had to be tough and stoic.

I suppose I shouldn’t complain; I just feel like if my dad were less of a hard a*s and treated me more like a daughter than a son I would fit in more. Maybe be able to get a date instead of always just being a “bro”. That being said I am thankful for the life skills he provided and the protective eye he still has watching over his baby girl. [26yo F]

Edit: news update; got a lot of confidence from all the positivity and now I’ve got a date coming up with a guy who doesn’t know me or my “bros” and I get to make an actual first impression without being seen as one of the boys beforehand. Wish me luck! He seems kind and intelligent; I’m really excited to see what happens! Even if it’s a flop it’s a good step out of my passive ways!

SweetGD007 , Anna Shvets Report

foryouwhynot IB
Community Member
1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good luck!! You can do this, just make sure that you don’t lose who you are to fit someone else’s standards…your dad included!

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#22

30 Daughters Share What Their Fathers Didn't Know While They Were Growing Up I wished he knew girls could like girls and it was ok. That would have made my coming out story less dramatic.

rainyhands94 , Brian Kyed Report

UKGrandad
Community Member
1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My middle daughter never actually came out to us. We pretty much always knew, never made a fuss about same-sex relationships, and just took it in our stride when she started dating girls. The way we (my wife and I) see it, heterosexual kids don't need to announce their sexuality, so why should gay and lesbian kids. Just raise them with the knowledge that whatever someone's sexuality, it's perfectly natural, and there'll be no need for those nerve-wracking 'coming-outs'.

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#23

30 Daughters Share What Their Fathers Didn't Know While They Were Growing Up If you want someone to respect you, you have to go first. My folks (especially my dad) would patiently explain how my feelings and desires were silly, because they didn't share them: but expect me to prioritize their feelings and desires even though I didn't share them. If you want her to be polite to your boring friends, be polite to hers. If you don't want her wearing a lip ring to the company picnic, don't wear socks with Crocs when you pick her up at school. If you're poor and she has to wear hand-me-down clothes, dress yourself out of the thrift shop.

scubasue , Mikhail Nilov Report

Dani Pret
Community Member
1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm trying to not be a slob because I don't want my daughter to be embarrassed by me. It's so important I believe not to add extra anxiety on her. Life if tough enough and kids can be cruel. I'm also balancing this out with being proud of you don't conform though

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#24

30 Daughters Share What Their Fathers Didn't Know While They Were Growing Up Don't make your daughter feel bad for going through puberty. My dad made me feel so humiliated when I first started my periods and also made me feel like young going through puberty, growing breasts and having hair down there was something that should only be for adults and somehow I was growing up way before I should have.

CaptnBoots , Kinga Cichewicz Report

Marie Dahme
Community Member
1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That’s so sad. On the other hand, I applaud any father that gives no F’s about buying his daughters tampons or sanitary napkins. My stepdad used to do this for us. As soon as Summer’s Eve came out with new products…he got it without asking. Lol. One time he bought a box of Instead disposable cups for menstrual cycles. He was uber curious how they worked and when mom discreetly showed him…he was amazed! Lol. Yeah mom thought that was hilarious.

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#25

30 Daughters Share What Their Fathers Didn't Know While They Were Growing Up That it is best to have a personal bond with your father, a hobby or activity that’s the two of you -no matter how small, and not him just be there when the whole family is together.

When our outdoor cats would get ticks I quickly alerted my father and we removed them. For him a chore and for me the one thing that was *us doing something together*.

beroemd , Michael Stokes Report

Bobby
Community Member
1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My daughter and I turn her bedtime stories into songs. You should hear our "happy little elephant" I'm expecting a Grammy for it

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#26

- you need to teach by example. Don’t go around preaching things that you don’t even do.

- give her privacy. So many times I had my bedroom door threatened to be taken away, or my belongings taken away, etc. It was horrible and I felt like I was in jail.

- while it is important to compliment her on things she has control over (big achievements, good test mark, etc.) it’s also important to tell her she’s beautiful. I never got that.

- pay attention to her interests and ask about them. Make sure she has opportunities too, like if she’s interested in something around 8 or 9, she obviously can’t sign herself up for a team/lessons of any kind.

- remember that one day she is going to be an adult and you need to prepare her for that as a teen. That means you treat her like she is an emotionally mature person, not a 4 year old. You teach her how to have calm, stable discussions that reach compromises, not screaming arguments. Also teaching her how to cook her own healthy food is very important.

anon Report

Caryle
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No matter how mad you are at the mom please don’t suggest that she might’ve been unfaithful and imply that you’re not her daughter because even today in my 50s I still think of that And we’re definitely related

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#27

30 Daughters Share What Their Fathers Didn't Know While They Were Growing Up How to put hair in pony tails/brush long hair in general. Just thinking about it twenty years later makes my scalp hurt.

Also, to include the daughter in stereotypically-male housework. I can cook and load a dishwasher like my life depends on it, but I can't do any sort of maintenance like putting up a picture frame or unclogging a sink.

writingskimmons , Bruce Reyes-Chow Report

UKGrandad
Community Member
1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All three of my daughters are equally capable of cooking and changing a flat tire, ironing and hanging wallpaper. I've always done it all and encouraged them to help, made it fun, and now they're fully independent.

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#28

30 Daughters Share What Their Fathers Didn't Know While They Were Growing Up When you do something wrong, apologize. Don't just try to ignore what we just fought about and try to be our friend 15 minutes later. When you try to ignore our problem, it hurts us. It makes us angry. We won't want to be friends.

My friends and I have almost all had this issue with our dads. The worst thing, though, is when you try to have someone else apologize fix things for you. My dad has asked me to be this middleman for my younger sister, my friend has been asked by her dad, and some others have mentioned their dad sending in their mom. It doesn't make things better, and a lot of the time, makes that middleman lose respect for you.

Respect us as people and apologize to us.

ScaryLittleLamb , Gaye Ayaz Report

foryouwhynot IB
Community Member
1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even us boys need that! I’m always sure to apologize directly (because of my wife). Both to our son and to anyone else it’s necessary to apologize to!

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#29

30 Daughters Share What Their Fathers Didn't Know While They Were Growing Up That girls are not delicate little creatures who can't do anything. I always wanted to be an auto mechanic and help work on cars and he'd never let me. He told me girls can't do "man jobs" because they cause drama on the jobsites when all the guys are worried about sleeping with them. Now I am always having car trouble and have to pay out the a*s to get a mechanic to fix simple things because he wouldn't just show me how to fix it.


Edited to add that I grew up before the internet. YouTube IS awesome now but there's something really intimidating for me about even trying now just because of the attitude I faced being a girl in my house.

Number175OnEarlsList , Jia Ye Report

foryouwhynot IB
Community Member
1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you can turn a wrench and understand the basics of how an engine works, have no fear! In fact, if you’re really interested go find a salvage yard, ask about a junker engine, buy an engine stand cheap at harbor freight and go to town! Tear it down and put it back together! A couple hundred for the two items and you’ll be a master in no time! Mark everything and put it back where it came from.

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#30

30 Daughters Share What Their Fathers Didn't Know While They Were Growing Up That we can be very sensitive about our bodies/looks once we become aware of them.

KellyDoesHerThing , Maria Orlova Report

Janet Howe
Community Member
1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is truth. My dad called me fat a*s or lard a*s or lard bucket when I was a chubby kid. Hurt like hell. Takes years to get over.

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