People Reveal What 30 Things Keep Disappointing Them But They Still Haven’t Given Up On
Among the many virtues and positive qualities of humankind, persistence, perseverance, determination, and good ol’ grit are some of the most important ones. Ever!
They allow us to push forward after failure. And to move towards our goals and loftiest ambitions, step by step, even when we feel like we’re utterly lost. However, in some cases, no amount of persistence is likely to change the fact that some things simply won’t get better.
What follows is a collection of very open and honest posts made by redditors who shared the things that consistently leave them disappointed, yet they keep trying to do them anyway. From hobbies and jobs to relationships, aspirations, and beyond.
There’s a lot of bittersweet motivation here, but we hope you enjoy it, dear Pandas. When you’re done reading the posts, tell us a bit about the things that disappoint you, but you still keep at them.
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Trying to explain to people that animals are sentient and shouldn't be exploited for human pleasure.
Trying to make friends.
I understand Im not everyones cup of tea, but it hurts being the outcast sometimes.
I keep being friendly though.
Redditor u/es_mo’s thread on r/AskReddit went viral and got over 50.2k upvotes in just a week. They started up an important discussion about how our expectations don’t always match up with reality.
But the underlying conversation also touches upon the power of the human spirit—that there is always hope. Hope that our determination will let us succeed at that which we so desperately want.
Me and my wife trying to get pregnant... took a year for our first and that constant negative test was brutal.
We have been trying a year now for a second to the same disappointment. Until last week
That's awesome, congrats. I know this feeling all too well. Took more than 6 years and one pregnancy loss to fall pregnant with my son.
Trying to lose weight.
Modern living is designed to separate you from yourself and then overwhelm you to the point of no return which causes existential pain that manifests in addictions to things that shut up the voices in your head. Who has time to be healthy? We've got to keep the economy healthy.
A rule of thumb to keep yourself content (or possibly even happy) is to manage your expectations. Generally speaking, we tend to have slightly unrealistic expectations of what might happen. While some of us are more pessimistic, others are overly optimistic.
And when those expectations don’t match up with reality, we can get disappointed. If we consistently fail to manage these expectations, that disappointment will continue. Unless, of course, we try out different strategies to try and reach our goals, and actually manage to break the cycle of failure.
Being an adult. It Sucks
I can't imagine not loving being an adult! The independence alone is everything. Being a kid was horrendous. I shudder just thinking of it.
Whatever the case might be, it’s best to keep expectations low. If you actually manage to get what you want, you’ll feel elated, ecstatic, and all-around wonderful. However, if there’s any deviation from what you constantly daydreamed would happen, you’ll feel a deep sense of longing and sadness. You might even start questioning your skills, even if the end result is objectively quite good.
As such, it’s best to accept things as they are. Instead of hoping that there will be a moment that everything will fall into place and be ‘perfect,’ you should strive to enjoy what’s around you. Gratitude for what you have and who you have in your life will likely make you happier. And it’s a much better alternative to being disappointed for years.
My faith in humanity.
Being normal.
I was diagnosed ADD, ADHD, Bipolar 1, and clinical depression at the age of 10. My whole life ive been told things i can or cant do because im bipolar. Or because i need medicine.
My entire middle school year through half of highschool was spent in a medically induced coma caused by my meds constantly making me so drowsy that i passed out all the time.
It got so bad that the principal informed all teachers to send me to the nurse, with a passing grade, to sleep. For entire school days. This is where the bullying started with rumors about drug use.
People thought i smoked weed. All through highschool i was seen as a pothead cause i was always so exhausted. Id have rocks thrown at me by people. Cinstant bullying and name calling. I kept to myself as much as i could by this point.
The few friends i had would often want nothing to do with me because i was so starved for affection from years of bullying that it made me needy. I dont blame them for wanting to keep a distance.
My whole life i begged to some sort of diety to either fix me or kill me. Sometimes i still do. Ive looked into getting a lobatomy to force some sort of cranial reset and hopefully the connections in my brain would fix themselves. Thats the dream.
Ive been in and out of therapy since the age of 15. And i only got a few mental meditation techniques from it. But other then that? Im probably worse now at the age of 30 then i was at 15. This is partly due to the texas mental healthcare system being a rotating door of garbage.
People will often tell me things like there is no normal. That normal is over rated. That im fine the way i am.
To those people i fart in their direction because there is a normal. Theres a normal of people being able to be happy without drugs or without some sort of clincal assistance. There is a normal where you dont think about horrible dark things.
I want that normal. Ive never felt it. And each time I try to get it, I get disappointed.
Know that i am safe. And you dont need to be a douche with that reddit mental health message. This was me seeing a chance to vent some pain.
Thank you for joining my TED Talk.
i have ADHD and ADD too and i am 24. it has totally ruined my life, my family are assholes who never bothered to get me medication or therapy they just said i am being childish and i will outgrow it. i dropped out of university at my third year, tried to commit suicide multiple times, i am severely depressed and also an alcoholic because that is the only thing that makes me feel better. i truly understand you and i hope things get better for you. i recently got a new job and i am hoping ill manage the pressure because i know i am not normal.
Growing indoor plants.
My wife has been bringing up doing this also. She's just new at the whole gardening thing & neither of us are even sure she has a green thumb in order to do such things but I am willing to support my wife in any of her, safe & healthy lifestyle changes or ideas. Maybe someone with more experience on this topic could message me and give is some pointers on getting started on a project such as this?!
Dating.
I stopped dating 5 years ago. Happily single and enjoying my life. I'd like to meet someone but dating is so artificial and fake and ultimately not how I want to meet the man I will love and who will love me.
My wife. She left me in October, and I keep hurting myself by trying to get her to come home. We have two small sons together. I am lost.
Trying to enjoy my free time like I used to.
The last thing I would do in my spare time is ride a bicycle. Luckily I can do like my kitties and stare at a wall for hours.
My self esteem.
This is extremely difficult to get over. Been trying for over 20 years.
Getting through the day....it's just draining
Voting. Doesn't really matter who gets elected, there are still wars in the middle east, massive government debt, continual erosions of freedom, poor getting left behind, military industrial complex thriving, stupid policies enacted, politicians helping each other and their friends instead of the populace, etc. etc.
It's theater for us as we plow on forcibly yoked to the economy giving assholes super yachts
Trying to have a baby. Five pregnancies in the last year and a half. One made it to 16 weeks, and I was over the moon. Then there was no heartbeat, and I used medication to produce the most tiniest, most perfect baby girl ever, which I buried in my front yard under some flowers. Sometimes I go over there and say a prayer that in an alternative universe, we are together. IVF is around 20,000 paid up front with genetic testing that I need, so I’m at an impasse and just sad as hell. I just rejoined Reddit because I just needed to say this somewhere anonymously.
As a infertile woman..having (or not) a child does not define me. And being childless is ok. Say that out loud!
Interviewing for a good paying job
I had an interview, two actually late last year. Really thought I did well, no call back. Oh well, back to mediocrity.
Life.
Finding someone with a similar libido who also sees it as an emotional connection.
The justice system
In the US, you get the justice you can pay for. Rich people=lots of consideration. Poor people=shunted carelessly through the system.
Ordering fries from home. They always arrive cold.
Air frier. They’ll come out better than new. This is the only non-depressing easy-remedy post on here so far…
My relationship with my parents.
I kept trying with my dad but after years of trying and telling him how I feel with no effort on his part. I gave up. Whist we still kinda have a relationship, the only time I really see him is on special occasions.
Getting sober.
Trying to stay dry for now 8 years. Made it so far, but it is a daily fight. The biggest challenge is the fact that alcohol is everywhere, even in movies and books.
Making friends and being around family
My male sibling is a spawn of Satan and has been disowned by the family and his former friends. My sister, who is my complete opposite, finally came back into my life, and we became close, or so I thought. About a month ago, it was discovered that she had a massive abdominal mass that could be cancerous. Long story, short, she decided to cut me out of her medical decisions/records, and have a man she hadn't seen in over 50 years take over. I was at the hospital for the surgery, but she wanted him with her, not me. I haven't seen her in a week, nor do I know the results of the surgery. She has also decided to cut her best friend of 46 years out of her life. I am hurt, but I am furious, as well! He also threatened to kill her cats.
My relationship with my mom. No child wants a bad relationship with their parents, she just makes it so hard to not resent her for her previous and current actions.
Sometimes a good familial relationship is...distance. No shame in preserving yourself from harm.
Trying to find someone to love, I think I'm going to give up because I'm getting nowhere with it
Owning a house.
Not having panic attacks everyday. Or throwing up my lunch when I'm at work cause I'm nervous. Showing up and being a reliable employee like the old timers at my job.
I have something similar in a way. Anytime I got worked up I would get a panic attack, then nausea, then maybe severe dizziness and blacking out. I constantly have nausea in the morning for no reason and sometimes I can't even keep crackers down so I don't eat breakfast. I have no idea what it is but it is still going on. Maybe this person has a similar problem? Is it just anxiety? I don't know but it is a pain to live with :/
Being a parent to a (now) toddler during a pandemic while being a good partner to my husband while battling PPD/PPA with minimal mental health care access/ability to get there thanks to a pandemic and having a newborn and contamination OCD and a whole laundry list of other conditions that have only compounded in the last two years. Now trying to figure out how to salvage our relationship because we want what's best for our kid and not wanting to hurt each other more than this already has.
Good parents are true heroes. I can't imagine dealing with this every day.
Trying to have an active sex life with my wife.
Trying to make my loved ones proud of me.
I used to feel this way but now I know my loved ones are proud of me. My next step is me being proud of myself, especially without the praise from others beforehand.
Antidepressants
It can be a disheartening, frustrating journey. But! When you finally find the right one(s), it will help. Nothing is ever sunshine and roses, but you WILL feel better. Took me years and years. Make sure you are taking care of your physical health as much as you can. They are intertwined.
Trying to have a conversation with my mother.
She participated in the kidnapping of my only child back in 2015. My abusive spouse told my family a bunch of lies about me, and instead of calling me and asking me about it, they just took my spouses side and I didn't see my baby for 2 long agonizing months.
I just want to have a conversation about it with my mother because it was her house that my spouse and child stayed in. She had a huge part in this incident and I just want to talk about what happened to me and my child. I've tried many many many times but my mother won't answer calls, she won't respond to emails or dms.
Twizzlers. They look and smell like they might be tasty but they always just taste like vaguely cherry flavored wax.
SEO- just when my traffic starts to grow, Google changes some sh*t and I go back 30%. I don't do any blackhat sh*t but its hard for a 1 person blog to compete with big businesses. But I still keep trying.
Movie sequels.
no offence but they will NEVER get better. especially the cursed child.
Hoping my father in law does better. He was addicted to drugs for a while, did a bunch of messed up sh*t and left my husband to deal with it all. Now he’s sober and still awful to my husband. I can’t tell my husband how to handle his relationship with his dad, and I certainly can’t make him cut him off. So I just keep hoping and praying that he’ll be better. Hasn’t happened yet. It’s not even that I believe he will anymore, I just continue to hope I’m wrong
Trying to finish school
You will, I am sure. I had to drop out of a graduate program after 5 years and being almost finished to start all over again while everyone around me was miles ahead. It hurts and it still hurts and you feel like crap but you know what...someday you'll finish and you'll be glad you did.
Sex with men.
Maybe give the other gender a try? I'm not going off a lot of information here so I don't want to see out of line.
Reading classic novels.
I tried but I just can't get into them, especially if it's written on older English. Have to have a bloody dictionary on hand when reading them lol. Takes the joy out of reading.
Creativity. Whenever I try to make any sort of art whether that is drawing, painting, music, design, etc… I’m left defeat at worst or unsatisfied at best.
I’ve always wanted to feel like I could make something that brings me joy… but I can’t seem to find a way to do that. I’ve tried small and large classes, private practice, and even imitation.
I’m always left feeling worse about myself than I was before I started.
I am creative but feel this. I am never happy with the results. But i am getting ok with small stuff i do for people as a free Gift at the street. I leave the window open and can hear people outside smiling... Like, made a few small paper bags with flower drawings on the outside and seeds inside (grow flowers, not war)! Simple but beautyful because it made people smile and Do beautyful things too
trusting my parents
I swear some parents have ulterior motives for having kids. It's like they just want mini mes around to take their own troubles out on.
Having a relationship with my middle sister.
I have 4 sisters, had 5. I have a semi relationship with 1 of them. It's not all that it's cracked up to be.
Any competitive multiplayer videogame with teammates.
Oh, I won't touch those with a 10 foot barge pole because of the type of people it can attract. Not sure if they're saying this because of the toxic atmosphere or because they suck at it though. Ha
As an Irish gal in the USA, biscuits and gravy!
I'm told it's yummy, and I'm told "oh you just haven't had a good one yet!" or "no, the gravy here isn't that good, you'd like it better from XYZ" but it's been six years and I still haven't had a good one!
It's my SO's favourite breakfast item, so wherever we go, I'll always try his in hope of finding this Holy Grail of biscuits and gravy and some common ground on the breakfast front.
It's Pacific Northwest...I'm told I need to go south to get the good stuff! We live in hope!
Tinder.
Tinder is like heroin. Brings you pleasure and joy but it often evaporates quickly, leave you a little bit ashamed and immensely disappointed but you will give it another try few days or weeks later...
Video games.
I used to enjoy them very much. Now I can't. From time to time, I buy a game and get excited about it. I feel like I'll enjoy it this time, but I quickly get disappointed.
I think I enjoy real-life challenges more. Real-life is a harder, better game if you take the challenges.
Life is challenging enough (multiple health issues and disability). I play video games to escape into another world entirely, especially those surprisingly peaceful games like Horizon Zero Dawn and Stardew Valley. Besides, you can always go 1999 mode for more challenging play.
New Star Wars movies
Rogue One was as good as any of the originals and people give the Ewoks from Jedi too much of a pass.
Taco Bell. I mean it was never really good but in the last couple of years it has fallen off the cliff. For some reason every couple of months I’ll give it another shot just to be disappointed and throw most of it away and say never again.
Any online LGBTQ+ dating app, it's hard meeting people that are not straight.
I was joking with one of my friends that we need a bisexual women cruise because apparently none of us above a certain age know how to flirt with other women.
The sushi at Costco.
You're either extremely brave or have a deathwish. I can't tell which.
McDonald's fries...weren't these once not white, limpy sticks of sad potatoes?
brussel sprouts.
i keep trying but they're terrible. they look all pretty like they should taste good. but they're terrible. disappointed every time.
Smoked turkey drumsticks.
Pickles. I’m disgusted every time but every time someone brings out some pickles I just can’t resist
My favorite is is half sours. More cucumbery than standard dill or sweet picks.
I keep on trying to adapt to my illnesses and conditions that I have year by year. It is so hard, when I get used to one thing - something new happens then I have to grieve the loss of more health and learn to live/adapt all over again. Even something as simple as balance is a challenge to me.
Have some genuine support from someone who knows exactly what that is like. 💛
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My daughter recently diagnosed w ocd. Although it's a relief we have a diagnosis it is so exhausting for her and I feel so guilty and helpless sometimes. We're doing our best and tackling it head on. Shes 19 and thinking back my poor baby has had this her whole life.
Imagine how much worse it would be if you weren't there to support her through it though. You're all just doing your best. 💙
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I keep on trying to adapt to my illnesses and conditions that I have year by year. It is so hard, when I get used to one thing - something new happens then I have to grieve the loss of more health and learn to live/adapt all over again. Even something as simple as balance is a challenge to me.
Have some genuine support from someone who knows exactly what that is like. 💛
Load More Replies... My daughter recently diagnosed w ocd. Although it's a relief we have a diagnosis it is so exhausting for her and I feel so guilty and helpless sometimes. We're doing our best and tackling it head on. Shes 19 and thinking back my poor baby has had this her whole life.
Imagine how much worse it would be if you weren't there to support her through it though. You're all just doing your best. 💙
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