30 Times Folks Got Roasted In The Most Brilliant Ways, Shared In This Viral Twitter Thread
Funnily enough, people can get really creative when it comes to making the person that the insult is addressed to feel more than awful. Receiving insults is not the most pleasant experience, but once all the negative feelings are gone and wounds are healed, there is surely plenty of space to have a good laugh about the mean sayings that flew out of people’s mouths. And at the end of the day, if you have your favorite compliment, there must be a favorite insult out there too.
Twitter user @NatalieZed decided to break the silence and finally find out all the nastiest things that people said to one another that were nothing but brutally honest and pretty hilarious. Vote for your favorite ones, get inspired, and insult away. After all, it seems that offense is mostly taken and not given.
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I have to commit that one to memory so I can bring it out at the appropriate time to the appropriate person.
Once I was playing a fantasy game with friends and a mean guy walked in and asked “Can I join?” My friends said yes and he asked “what is the most powerful creature in the game” friends said “Dragon”. He said “I’ll be that then” and I responded with “Nah dragons are supposed to be the hottest.” My friends now refer to me as the lord of roasts.
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Load More Replies...My friends once butchered Fancy (Reba McEntire) so badly, the karaoke DJ pretended the machine broke. As soon as they left the stage, the machine was magically fixed.
After murdering some song in a bar someone shouted at us, "Do you guys know each other?"
I’ve been in a few bands like that. That’s when to tell the crowd to “drink up. The more you drink, the better we sound “.
2 cats and a screaming demon disguised as one.
Load More Replies...I'm a dog person and I would rather spend the rest of my life with cats than spend a single minute with a "random man" such as that one. I hope he spends the rest of his nights feeling like there's a hard lump poking him in the back but never actually being able to clear it away.
I don't see an insult there (except the bitch part) *shrug* I guess it's all about the tone
I agree. I always wonder how the truth could be an insult.
Load More Replies...Dude who has failed to be a less appealing life partner than an animal that shits in a box without cleaning up behind themself.
I'm jealous, I want to scare someone because they thought I was a demon.
I did a similar thing while picking mushrooms. We had a LARP in the woods just before that. So when I saw someone move, naturally I assumes it was a Orc and screamed. My poor neighbour got equally scared..
Ok, that's really good("sexist peanut of a man")-lol...I'd add "deformed" or "rotten", probably.
Load More Replies...Umm..a PhD is a major accomplishment...does he not understand how much work goes into a PhD.
Well given you are paid and it takes 4 years, the same amount of work that goes in working a regular job actually
Load More Replies...If I had coffee I would spit it out laughing.
Load More Replies...I mean to be fair I have my PhD in Economics and I very rarely if ever honest have it come up in conversation....BUT i have two acquaintances who have theirs in Theology and Art History and honestly can't shut the heck up about them.
My husband has a hard earned PhD in Robotics, and he doesn't bring that up, but me, and many others who know him, do whenever there's a chance, because we genuinely find it awesome.
Load More Replies...Even productive obsessions can be detrimental. I know too many lonely unhappy people living far from friends and family after moving away to further their career.
... good story.. doesn't fit the title... but the title might have changed
I had a PhD and was getting a Masters in a different field recently and the class voted that I was not allowed to answer a question first because I was too intimidating or something. It made me feel like when I was in high school, back when it was very uncool for a girl to be smart, and guys called me "computer head". More of an insult than you'd think since computers took up a whole room back then.
Undoubtedly said by a man whose highest accomplishment is whackin' it 7x in an afternoon.
Once I was sitting at a table and I glanced at this kid who was at a *separate* table and he burst into tears and started wailing "she looked at me". (the kid was babied by his parents a lot and was much more prone to throwing fits than your average 6 year old)
Load More Replies...That's what I tend to do too, quite unintentionally though. Being aware of that, I put some effort in giving the gentliest and smiliest answer I can, so people are postively surprised in the end.
I've worked so hard over the years to hide my resting B face because I really don't like coming across mean or rude.
Load More Replies...I'm a big girl but I couldn't help but be a little amused when a kid yelled Free W***y at me. (I was wearing a black & white shirt.)
To which the only possible reply is, well I've never had to pay for it
Load More Replies...Even though it is funny in the end, i really don't get the need of some people to yell insults to complete strangers without anyone provoking them
Hello! There in prison. Many people in prison are not nice people. Saying that without provocation is probably not the worst thing they've done without provocation. And really, what a lame insult. Any other prisoners heard that, he'd never live it down.
Load More Replies...When I wouldn't tattoo a swastika on a biker, he said I needed to grow up and go to prison and learn what life was all about.
Beware when she grows up and get on social media.
Load More Replies...5 years old and a razor sharp wit like that??? Whoooaaaa!!! Watch out for that one, guys!!!
oh my lord. "Effin' Birds" is the name of this book and it is a GD riot!
They say to never judge a book by this cover, but I think a lot of those reviewers could have saved themselves a lot of outrage if they'd taken the time to do just that. I mean, the title alone is a hint that this book has profanity and does not take itself seriously...
Load More Replies...I looked at it on Amazon and found the description and bio humorous: 'Aaron was raised in Mississauga, Canada, a suburb where they cut down all the trees and named the streets after them. '
Surely he could have found negative quotes from people with the same name so it looks like a persecution? "Chris, twitter user; chris, goodreads reviewer; chris, PR pro; ..."
My niece asked my gay brother if he was a lesbian, because "You only hang out with girls!".
I love when little kids all of a sudden bring up the fact that you have no friends, it's freaking hilarious to me.
I have none, haven't for a long time. But, it's fine-whatever. When I did , I never had more than 2 0r 3 at a time(sure other people were nice and all but never bothered to stay in touch) but lost contact anyway. Most were't real friends, and I wonder how many others were. Oh, well. Not surprising.
Load More Replies...When I was younger and unemployed, I got to work at my cousin's business from time to time, when they were really overloaded. His two sons were like 4 and 6 years old then, and as I was temporarily staying at their home, they didn't understand very well where I was in my life, since I seemed to have no home of mine, nor a job or a wife and kids. One morning the youngest asked his parents, very seriously : "is François a child ?"
I assistant-coached a swim team for 10-13 year olds a few years ago. two girls I'm familiar with come up and ask how old I am, 26 or 25? they had been debating for a while......I was 15 at the time lol
lol I have worn mary janes & odd shoes as well my whole life. Just love them! 65 now & have still had people say they liked my shoes.
I once saw a psychiatrist, he just sat there looking like he was dead, maybe he was, he never said 1 word
Truly intelligent folks don't flex their brains so I would say that's the case for most smart people.
I dont know how to say this without sounding like I'm bragging, but this is how I always am.
Load More Replies...AWESOME!!! That would be a GREAT band/ duo name!
Load More Replies...I'm a therapist. I was asked to do a few films to help out during the pandemic with some relaxation techniques. After the first went out, I had a message asking me to 'shut up, ya talking potato'..... F**k that... I now call my business the Rambling Potato Mental Health Coaching.
Little Miss Rebel - BeeGees cover band, opening for Trainwreck Barbie performing various versions of the song “Barbie World” …
Not getting sauce with your 20 nuggets is a very good reason for an almost-crying face.
I'm not gonna engage with someone who lacks feelings to the degree where they don't care that they have to chomp down 20 dry ass chicken cubes with no lube
I have one that may be better: some time ago two boys in my middle school were engaged in an argument that had somehow turned into a playful roasting session. One boy told the other something like "I'm gonna smoke you" (leave you in smoke or something). The other boy (without hesitation) shot back "Oh, really? The only smoke you know about is from your PC overheating in your mom mamma's basement!" Still to this day the best roast I have ever heard. He was referred to afterwards as the roast king.
You know that is funny, because, back in the sixties, when I was in high school, the ultimate beauty idea was platinum blonde hair. One of the most "popular" girls had platinum blonde hair and it was absolutely gorgeous. She wore it in a French Roll for the yearbook pictures and she looks fabulous. I think Billy Idol would have looked good too, if he had just combed his, LOL.
What's he actually implying though? That all her friends are... round? sticky? of varying colors and ages?
Covered in the pee of children? In a building full of mediocre pizza? Plastic?
Load More Replies...And just like any Chuck E. Cheese ballpit, there is a delicious treasure at the bottom.
And you sir can't fathom the depths of my boredom that I found it more intellectually stimulating to talk to someone during your class. I understand if you down vote me. Sometimes I just can't resist sarcasm.
That’s not really sarcasm though, it’s just repeating their insult back to them. More of a “no, u” than anything. Cringy.
Load More Replies...He was so indifferent that he bothered create this whole complicated sentence ? Wow, I don't even want to imagine what it would have been if he had given a f**k.
Exactly what I was thinking..why acknowledge it if u dont care..
Load More Replies...Insults without cussing show a great deal of intelligence, imagination and finesse. My favorite was Churchill's reply to a woman who was seated next to him at dinner. She said "if you were my husband I would poison your wine." And Churchill said "If I were your husband, I would drink it."
This “insult” is an oxymoron. Indifference would not be commenting on his indifference.
I'm sensing that some of you are trying to insult me.🤔.............😆
Nah, they are too busy analyzing the sentence to figure out if the correct definition is " sarcasm", or if it's an " oxymoron ", seeing who can use the biggest word, and trying to understand if the professor, was indifferent to the student paying attention , why did it bother him enough to call the student out, to tell him , he was indifferent to whether he paid attention? You can tell your an edgy little nobody- because not one person read a single thing you wrote. Can you imagine if you weren't an edgy little nobody? I bet they'd all be arguing over what sarcasm is, and isn't. Maybe even trying to insult you or something......* insert evil laugh here*
Load More Replies...I used to really like the diary of a wimpy kid series ( not now I think it is eh ) and I would checkout like 5 of the books and read them all before going to bed, a book a day is sooo armature hour.
Load More Replies...I take pride in my reading. Once, I challenged myself, and I read 500 page book in 4 hours
Nice. I can read a 300 page book in an hour or so of nonstop reading, but I usually don't read nonstop.
Load More Replies...Yes, I do. Actually HAVING the ability to read is one of my superpowers.
My sister once tried to insult someone by saying, “I bet you brush your teeth everyday.” And everyone just went... “uh. Yeah? Do you NOT brush your teeth everyday?”
i got a similar one too! "ahhh so you're one of those who like to REEEEAD, huh?" like it was something bad!
If you look good in makeup, you can't be a nerd. Nerd life is the refuge of the forever alone.
Load More Replies...At least the lady didnt misunderstood what sort of "con" it was 😀 I saw amusing opportunities there..
I would have whispered in a conspirational tone "And I didn't clean my room too"
I've been searching for the daughter of the Devil himself I've been searching for an angel in white I've been waiting for a woman who's a little of both And I can feel her but she's nowhere in sight ~~ the Eagles.
Load More Replies...Someone once told me I look like a knockoff mini Zendaya bought off Amazon. I took it as a compliment
Right? How is that an insult? (I'm not familiar with wish.com)
I know lots of people who would go for a H. Cavill knockoff - the guy is awesome
Little miss rebel, train wreck Barbie and the AQUARD BAGUETTE 🥖 I would go anywhere to see this iconic trio.
Oh Lord! 🤣🤣🤣 I need context here please, I'm dying to know what prompted this insult 😁😁😁
Awkward Baguette is nowhere near as good as Limp Bizkit! 387106CC-D...0-jpeg.jpg
I've known plenty of self centered people who were completely incapable of taking care of themselves in some way. Are you sure it wasn't a form of advice?
They usually talk about themselves all the time.
Load More Replies...You think she would win in a contest or finish third like Charlie Chaplin?
So... Laurie Anderson is... Like... A person whom people are supposed to know she exists?
Pretty good, but not Dolly Parton-losing-a-Dolly Parton-lookalike-contest-to-a-drag queen-good.
Dude... this is like something I would do. I laugh spontaneously during weird situations where everything is tense and I just start laughing. It lightens the mood
"It lightens the mood" said Arthur Fleck giggling at the corpses that lied all around him.
Load More Replies...To be honest I'm also annoyed in the cinema cause some people laugh out loud on purpose at sad scenes!
I've learned to laugh silently at movie theaters, if I find a dramatic moment hilarious I jiggle a lot but I don't make a sound! I hope nobody ever thinks I'm having a seizure and calls an ambulance.
Load More Replies...My wife said the same to me a few years ago. We were at a family function watching a football game I think. Anyway the little ticker at the bottom of the screen had the alert that George Michael died. I looked right at her and said "oh no, he's never gonna dance again" In hindsight that was way too soon
There is no such thing as too soon....or too dark!
Load More Replies...That bit where the guy falls off and hits everything on the way down had me in hysterics. My BF at the time refused to watch it with me again :/
I'm not sure I actually laughed out loud but I definitely found that part funny
Load More Replies...I mean... it's something that actually happened and all those people did die. It's a bit like laughing at a war film. So yeah, all the people on here saying that they laughed during Titanic are kind of horrible, at least about this one thing. I did laugh, but only at the bad dialogue.
Thing is, lots of sad movies are not based on a real event. The reason I would have found this upsetting is that, obviously, as everyone knows, this was a real event, some parts are probably very similar. Those people really lived through absolute terror and hell before mostly dying horrific deaths. Those who survived were obviously scarred for life. So, probably don't laugh about it in public, especially at a screening of it, because yes, that makes you a bit of a Twat.
When I watched The Great Budapest Hotel on the cinema, I was laughing so hard at every single joke, detail (the details are great), Fienne's gimmick, that the guy seating behind me ended up laughing as well. At me I suppose, like "is she never gonna stop?".
When you steal a dead clowns pants, and it haunts you, and changes all your pants to look like that.
"Looks like he got those clothes off of a dead Chinese!" Name the film :-D
"How did YOU know?" And stare at them with crazy eyes...
I tried looking up a translation, all I got was 'wooden stake in old Celtic'
Load More Replies...For anyone who's ever had the unfortunate experience of being on the receiving end of a sharp remark, it's clear just how inventive language can be.
Much like the creativity involved in crafting clever retorts, the art of wordplay extends to many areas, including humorous themes like amusing word games inspired by witches.
Yes. But, the thing is, he turns into Spiderman. So, you never know....
I think in this case they mean popular cool as apposed to being an awesome person cool.
Load More Replies...Take it as a compliment. he could have said that you look like Peter Parker, but shorter, or worse like shorter Pre-Serum Steve Rogers.
Do Ukrainian women generally not have arms to bale hay and crush their enemies? That's disappointing, I've been misled somewhere.
Crushing enemies is pretty normal for women in my mom's family... Hmm.
Load More Replies...I would vastly prefer a godless heathen as a partner than a stuffy religious person overflowing with fake piety.
My parents would've been truly dismayed if I had brought home someone that was not a godless heathen.
Load More Replies...Not a very bright insult... Heathens are not godless... They worship other gods.
Understanding has entered my brain. I'm Goth, but by some unhappy circumstance I only have emo friends. They think MCR is better than Blutengel. I need new friends.
Load More Replies...I've never been described that way before... If don't think I'll use it. I'm not a big fan of HP
Noooooooooooooo. *All my life falling to ruins* (like what you like, I really don't mind, just couldn't resist the temptation xD)
Load More Replies...I won't disagree with you, but that isn't what the lady said. She didn't say "Goths dress like sluts," she said op dresses like a "gothic s**t" which is a s**t with a gothic touch. If anything, she implied goths don't usually dress like sluts because she felt the need to specify. But she wasn't talking about goths in the first place. She was talking about gothic, like Wendy Allott said.
Load More Replies...I bet his butt is jealous of the s**t pouring from his mouth
Load More Replies...I just looked him up - he's rather nice looking. Maybe the makeup artist was really good.
Perhaps your toddler needs to hear this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CODHZyvn83Q
My toddler used to put his hand over my mouth when I would sing to him. Mind you, I was alto in the choir at church, not a bad choir, not a bad voice.
I had one guy call me a "f*cking f@ggot" once. I told him that well yes, I was gay, and I certainly did like to have sexual intercourse, and then congratulated him on his astute observation skills. He was really confused.
I was working in Saudi Arabia and witnessed a 'disagreement' between a gentleman from India & a gentleman from Bangladesh. Their only common -albeit broken-language was English. I never forgot the insult/curse/whatever. "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your man-furries!" Almost pee'd myself laughing....
I've been told that i have a bitch face sometimes! I take it as a compliment!
I am a tall female brunette with glasses and I was walking near downtown Seattle when a man called out to me "Girl, I want you to come home with me and do my taxes!" Insult or come on? I'm still not sure but I loved it :)
I was told I was like Marilyn from the Munsters. I look boringly ordinary, but when you talk to me you realize I'm a huge weirdo.
Some little punk was trying to bully my 10 year old nephew out of his lunch money. He told him: "I left all my money on your mom's dresser." I'm SO proud of him!
Why does your 10 year old nephew know how prostitution works?
Load More Replies...Well, I 'd have have to go with 'multicoloured freak show'. Does anyone even require context?
I was once told by a guy that I was so girly, if I had been born a man I would have been a flaming homosexual. I took that as a compliment. Also, was told through the grapevine that a VP of Communications called me a pushy broad. Compliment. These next 2 were spot-on considering how I was dressed (both times I was going to a psychobilly show) - I was called both a godless jezebelle and a shameless hussy (2 separate times, both by little old ladies and both in a Wawa while I was getting coffee). Total compliments!!!
I had one guy call me a "f*cking f@ggot" once. I told him that well yes, I was gay, and I certainly did like to have sexual intercourse, and then congratulated him on his astute observation skills. He was really confused.
I was working in Saudi Arabia and witnessed a 'disagreement' between a gentleman from India & a gentleman from Bangladesh. Their only common -albeit broken-language was English. I never forgot the insult/curse/whatever. "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your man-furries!" Almost pee'd myself laughing....
I've been told that i have a bitch face sometimes! I take it as a compliment!
I am a tall female brunette with glasses and I was walking near downtown Seattle when a man called out to me "Girl, I want you to come home with me and do my taxes!" Insult or come on? I'm still not sure but I loved it :)
I was told I was like Marilyn from the Munsters. I look boringly ordinary, but when you talk to me you realize I'm a huge weirdo.
Some little punk was trying to bully my 10 year old nephew out of his lunch money. He told him: "I left all my money on your mom's dresser." I'm SO proud of him!
Why does your 10 year old nephew know how prostitution works?
Load More Replies...Well, I 'd have have to go with 'multicoloured freak show'. Does anyone even require context?
I was once told by a guy that I was so girly, if I had been born a man I would have been a flaming homosexual. I took that as a compliment. Also, was told through the grapevine that a VP of Communications called me a pushy broad. Compliment. These next 2 were spot-on considering how I was dressed (both times I was going to a psychobilly show) - I was called both a godless jezebelle and a shameless hussy (2 separate times, both by little old ladies and both in a Wawa while I was getting coffee). Total compliments!!!
