30 People Discuss Common Signs That Someone Is Living A Miserable Life

panic on the inside, fixer on the outside for me

When in danger, or in doubt. Run in circles, scream and shout.

Be like a duck, stay calm on the surface and paddle like hell underneath

I call that the « ok, what’s next » mindset for me. After a long time of seeing a lot of stressful s**t, either you stress more or you become like this.

This is a job skill for many IT workers. Freaking out doesn't help, just get it done. Please stop asking us when it will be fixed, because it will take longer to get fixed if we are explaining why it's not fixed yet.

Trusting no one is so hard to deal with. Because you don't see or you turn down help, opportunities, offers that could have been good for you.

Relying on others leads to disappointment.

Learning not to rely on anyone isn't the same as turning help down. They just don't ask for it and don't expect it. When you offer help, they'll accept.

Yep

For me, it was my grandmother. Asking for help was a bother and how dare I bother anyone with my childish BS. I should just keep my mouth shut and disappear. I've always busted my a$$ to figure it out myself. I still can't bring myself to ask for or accept help, I have to do it myself so I don't bother anyone with my childish BS.

I realized a long time ago that air am just as happy in my own company as I am in the company of others. Happier, in fact, when I have been drained dry by having to be around way too many hyperactive extroverts. Takes time to recharge after that. A lot of time.

How is this "living a miserable life"? Achieving it is one of the goals of my existence (such as it is).

Why do you think this makes the person miserable?

That’s not a miserable life. That’s a blissful introvert

You might be confusing introvert for depressed

I absolutely minimise my trauma. I tell my therapists I’m sorry to bore them with something so mundane and trivial, and they are ALWAYS horrified. Which just makes me feel more awkwardly undeserving.

Just because someone has trauma doesn't mean they're living a sad life. There are excellent trauma therapies available, and there is empowerment in the healing process. They may seem nonchalant about traumatic things, but that could be because they've desensitized to it, which is part of the healing process. Not knowing what someone else will consider traumatic isn't pathetic or sad... it's just they haven't learned it yet.

And we also say "oh, that's nothing, I've been through much worse!". This is our "normality"

Freaking people talking about me again ha 😂

Few weeks ago I told my therapist about my childhood and how I have fantastic memories but my mother was not so motherly. She stopped and looked at her computer and told me all I said in the past about childhood, teen ages, young adulthood and today. She add "you're autistic with a severe derpression too" then she paused, read it again and just breath for herself "tough life, really". It's the first time someone would tell me that and I just smiled, giggling like it was a joke.

Been there, done that. That's because they (we) are constantly on survival mode. And when you don't know how normality looks like, even a minor issue can be seen as threatening.

I once heard something that stayed with me forever: if someone goes "from 0 to 100" quickly, it can mean they've been on 99 for too long. I think that's the case in many situations.

For me it's when I've planned something for a long time and it gets disrupted at the last minute. It can be a minor thing like a package ordered long ago not being on time, but one little thing prevents that plan from working out and it is devastating. With PTSD the loss of control can be a massive trigger, even though it's in a minor way

Sometimes when you bottle it up too long, the bottle breaks.

That can be sign of neurodivergence too, not necessarily trauma

Apathy is the worst symptom of depression for me, you can't even find joy in the things that used to anymore. Makes climbing out of that hole you're in so much harder.

I used to read constantly. Disappearing into books was my favorite thing to do. I haven't read a book in years

Yeah. Such advice comes from personal experience.

THIS IS NOT A SIGN OF MISEABLE LIFE. I have experienced a LOT in my lifetime. Butbive also learned to address and cope with life. I'm very happy and fulfilled, butbi have a lot of life experience to share with others. That's not a bad thing.

This one hit hard.

Or they don't trust you with the actual answer.

People kept asking how I felt turning 30 and I kept a saying that I really didn't know because I never figured I'd make it this long...

Ouch ..

This would be me.

Ooooofff. I felt this. My guy thinks I'm bonkers for going overboard at Xmas. In reality I was the unwanted step child, who had to sit upstairs and be quiet whilst listening to the rest of the family open gifts and enjoy the festivities.

This feels to relatable. I'm a total office party nut

For me, Christmas and birthdays were huge growing up because I got to celebrate something rather than going to a funeral.