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Every one of us has bad days. But then we have good days and doing things that we love makes us, at least for a bit, forget our problems. However, once happiness fades, we go back to reality. Well, some people like their reality as they feel joyful every day, all of their issues or worries are solvable, they have a cozy home they can’t wait to go back to and always have somebody who’s impatiently waiting for them to come back home.

Unfortunately, there are also many people who are not happy with their lives. They feel sad more often than happy. And while sometimes people tend to put on a ‘mask’ so nobody can tell how they actually are feeling, some of their actions may show reality is a little bit different than they want everybody around them to see.

Recently, one Reddit user started a discussion online asking people to share minor indicators that actually show that people are living miserable lives. Folks online shared various opinions and when you think about them in this context, they actually make sense. 

More info: Reddit

#1

30 People Discuss Common Signs That Someone Is Living A Miserable Life When s**t hits the fan and everybody is running around waving their arms screaming you can spot them. There will always be one guy who just sorta looks a bit tired, rolls up his sleeves and starts methodically fixing the things within his power to do so whilst just blatantly ignoring the catastrophe around him. To everybody else the end is nigh. To him, this is tuesday.

Vict0r117 , Yan Krukau Report

#2

30 People Discuss Common Signs That Someone Is Living A Miserable Life Super independent because they learned not to rely on anybody

Wandoothepo , Hannah Busing Report

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Alexia
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Trusting no one is so hard to deal with. Because you don't see or you turn down help, opportunities, offers that could have been good for you.

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#3

30 People Discuss Common Signs That Someone Is Living A Miserable Life They become “invisible people”, when they can. They are polite, keep to themselves, but disappear into their home and don’t engage with others because it’s draining and/or mentally exhausting. They may or may not feel lonely, but realise that life has hit too many times, and all they want to do is feel safe and quiet at the end of their day.

StarsofSobek , Anthony Tran Report

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Tabitha
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I realized a long time ago that air am just as happy in my own company as I am in the company of others. Happier, in fact, when I have been drained dry by having to be around way too many hyperactive extroverts. Takes time to recharge after that. A lot of time.

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#4

30 People Discuss Common Signs That Someone Is Living A Miserable Life They nonchalantly talk about traumatizing things like it’s no big deal when everyone else is horrified

Real_Ordinary_3622 , Yan Krukau Report

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Ginky
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I absolutely minimise my trauma. I tell my therapists I’m sorry to bore them with something so mundane and trivial, and they are ALWAYS horrified. Which just makes me feel more awkwardly undeserving.

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#5

30 People Discuss Common Signs That Someone Is Living A Miserable Life Disproportionate reactions. Their reactions to most things are normal or even low key, but occasionally they have a huge response to something minor. Key sign of trauma.

lokjasi856 , MART PRODUCTION Report

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Alexia
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Been there, done that. That's because they (we) are constantly on survival mode. And when you don't know how normality looks like, even a minor issue can be seen as threatening.

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#6

30 People Discuss Common Signs That Someone Is Living A Miserable Life Sometimes, when they seem less excited or stop doing things they used to love, it might mean things aren't going well for them.

ZoraiaVnkle , Cris Saur Report

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Donald
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Apathy is the worst symptom of depression for me, you can't even find joy in the things that used to anymore. Makes climbing out of that hole you're in so much harder.

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#7

30 People Discuss Common Signs That Someone Is Living A Miserable Life They have advice--good advice--for people who've just experienced trauma. Or for how to handle oddly specific and f****d up situations.

Wandoothepo , SHVETS production Report

#8

30 People Discuss Common Signs That Someone Is Living A Miserable Life If you ask them what their life would be like in a perfect world, they can’t even come up with an answer. They’re too lost to even think about it.

Electronic-Plum-4472 , Dmitry Schemelev Report

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#9

30 People Discuss Common Signs That Someone Is Living A Miserable Life I worked in a large office environment for 30+ years and over time I observed that the people who had hard lives, often were the ones who were hyper into things like office Christmas or birthday parties. I think it was often the only celebrations they got to be part of.

FinnbarMcBride , Pavel Danilyuk Report

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F.N. Steinberg
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ooooofff. I felt this. My guy thinks I'm bonkers for going overboard at Xmas. In reality I was the unwanted step child, who had to sit upstairs and be quiet whilst listening to the rest of the family open gifts and enjoy the festivities.

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#10

30 People Discuss Common Signs That Someone Is Living A Miserable Life Eating a load of ready meals, because they don't have anyone to cook for or with so food is just a chore.

Similarly they eat the same thing over and over again, because all food tastes kind of bland.

Avoiding going home, so taking longer routes homes, staying late at work, going grocery shopping just to get out of the house.

Most of their social interactions are via text or social media or with colleagues and or service workers like cashiers.

They never seem to have a good night's sleep.

They don't talk about their evening weekend plans, or when they do, it always seems to be chores or something non committal that they can do alone - "I don't know, I'll probably just watch Netflix."

Cleaning is either not done at all, because there's no energy, or it is extremely well done because they have nothing else to do.

They can't really tell you how they envision the future - they don't dare to dream big, or dream at all, because those dreams keep being crushed.

When they do dream, the dreams are kept at arm's length - "I'd love to get a house next year, but I probably won't be able to afford it."


Am I describing my own life?

Yep.

SkywardGeek , Eiliv Aceron Report

#11

30 People Discuss Common Signs That Someone Is Living A Miserable Life For me. The cleaning and house duties start slacking. Dishes stay in the sink overnight. I haven’t swept for a while. But my faux face is on. Bright and happy.

anikill , Nathan Dumlao Report

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Alexia
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As I slowly got out of depression and trauma, I started cleaning the house and putting things in order. Little by little, not all at once. First washing the dishes and sweeping the kitchen. Then, arranging the clothes gathered in a big pile in the middle of the room (this took months). Then, dusting the furniture, and so on.

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#12

30 People Discuss Common Signs That Someone Is Living A Miserable Life You say “how’s it going?”

They say, “it’s goin…”

They are dead inside

No_Raccoon_3620 , charlesdeluvio Report

#13

30 People Discuss Common Signs That Someone Is Living A Miserable Life They don't get excited to go home after work / find reasons to stay at work longer

noob_nooberson , cottonbro studio Report

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Alexia
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Me. I used to waste time at school, or to wander around in the city and return home as late as possible - when I knew that my violent, abusive father was already asleep.

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#14

30 People Discuss Common Signs That Someone Is Living A Miserable Life This might be a weird one but people who are constantly unfazed. Bad things will happen, like the kind of bad things that make everyone freak out, and they just coast like it’s just another normal day.

Winstonisapuppy , Pixabay Report

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Jeevesssssss
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I freak out at more minor things. But really major stuff I emotionally disconnect and go real calm and practical. Useful, but makes me seem like a cold b***h.

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#15

30 People Discuss Common Signs That Someone Is Living A Miserable Life They wince if anyone around them moves quickly.

Clever_Mercury , cottonbro studio Report

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geezeronthehill
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Have a rescue dog like that. We learned to move slowly. He's getting better. Think he's starting to trust me.

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#16

30 People Discuss Common Signs That Someone Is Living A Miserable Life When they look for happiness in other people... and their whole day can be ruined if a certain person says or does something that they dont like

fir2nino , M. Report

#17

30 People Discuss Common Signs That Someone Is Living A Miserable Life they look tired, absolutely "energy low powered" and sometimes they give the best advice to others that they should use for themselves

BellaManu , Jamie Street Report

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#18

30 People Discuss Common Signs That Someone Is Living A Miserable Life They're just trying to hold it together, but close friends and family can see the cracks. Just be nice to everyone, you might not see the cracks yet.

mattsc2005 , Steven Arenas Report

#19

30 People Discuss Common Signs That Someone Is Living A Miserable Life They look tired everytime you see them.
They're very interested in what you've got going on, but don't really share themselves.
They're distracted

provoloneChipmunk , Andrea Piacquadio Report

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Phoenix
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I actually like talking about myself, but then again I hate it because what if the other person thinks I'm annoying and can't shut up?

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#20

They always smile but their eyes are sad

AnyCap6884 Report

#21

30 People Discuss Common Signs That Someone Is Living A Miserable Life They don't react to nothing anymore. They still compliment, feel things, show love, but it's subdued....like they've seen s**t. And they got this stare like "bro I get what you're telling me, but the s**t I've been through, I don't got time for this"

Chocat_X_Stencchi , Johan Funke Report

#22

30 People Discuss Common Signs That Someone Is Living A Miserable Life They become desperate for outside validation

ThrowawayDewdrop , Pragyan Bezbaruah Report

#23

30 People Discuss Common Signs That Someone Is Living A Miserable Life They drink a lot. Might not be subtle

TakeDuo , Sigmund Report

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Keira Pendragon
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't drink if I'm not in a fairly good mood - I have nightmares and s**t.

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#24

30 People Discuss Common Signs That Someone Is Living A Miserable Life don’t brush their teeth, hygiene

ControlDesperate3558 , Shiny Diamond Report

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LauraDragonWench
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ugh. Yeah, I haven't brushed my teeth in a couple of weeks. Haven't showered in that amount of time, either. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a total scuzzball: I wipe myself down. It's just too much effort to go for the full shower. Besides, I'm all by myself, and my cats could give a s**t about what my breath smells like or how I look.

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#25

They perceive a neutral stimulus in a negative way. E.g. those group of people just laughed. They MUST be b***hing about me.

NoneIsAllMinusSome Report

#26

30 People Discuss Common Signs That Someone Is Living A Miserable Life Misappropriated anger

Gonebabythoughts , Alexandra Mirgheș Report

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ColdSteelRonin
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When you grow up in a neighborhood where might makes right and you solve your problems with your fists, anger is your ally

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#27

Forgetting what day it is. Rat chewed or worn and torn clothing. Have to ask permission from spouse to do anything extra. Oddly unfazed and numb when things go wrong. Lives to participate in spirit and theme ‘staff morale’ days. Always eats alone but probably doesn’t eat. If anything it looks hastily tossed together. Napping in the restroom or car. Poor hygiene. Skin issues. Over apologetic. Worried or paranoid what people think. Missing a lot. They will never have seen the TV show you are taking about. They didn’t go on vacation. You won’t meet any of their people outside of work. The purse rattles. People call for them. They just agree with things passively. They forget or mix up regular info

LeftStatistician7989 Report

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Kraneia The Dancing Dryad
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have some of these. I nap in the car--it's comfy in between the 3 hour break between classes at the college :) I don't watch TV though, so you're free to talk about spoilers. The only rattle you'll hear is the ibuprofen, fortunately. I used to worry about what other people thought. Then I turned 30 and realized none o' that really matters. I had some rough teenage years, but I'm not really depressed any more--just antisocial! :-D

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#28

When something is offered to them they always feel like they don't deserve it. They always politely decline any kind of offer. For example if you know they are hard on money and you don't want to go out to eat alone so you offer to pay for a meal for them to come with you. They made decline at not because they aren't hungry or don't want to hang out with you but because they feel they don't deserve to have their meal paid for. Usually some kind of sign of abuse of them being unworthy in the eye of a spouse or a parental figure etc

UPDATE:

I didn't expect this many replies. To clarify what I'm reading on a lot of them, there is no one size fits all. People can act this way for many different reasons whether they were taught that giving was good and receiving was bad or for religious reasons. Maybe everything they have ever done with family of friends was transactional and they were held as an emotional hostage. Maybe somebody feels they disappointed others by asking for help like they were getting in the way. The list is endless and I have learned a lot by reading a lot of these replies.

Many of these experiences aren't always labeled as abusive or toxic by those who go through them and I think sometimes that can be part of the issue. It keeps people trapped in this way of thinking due to their experiences when it is not their fault. In my eyes, when your experiences cause you to feel you can't accept something from somebody without it coming back to bite you in the a*s, that's abuse.

Fresh_Distribution54 Report

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Sami-Jo Ross
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Way to call me out. I legitimately got upset when a friend offered to get me a laminated, autographed print from a convention from a voice actor I like, because I felt like it was inconveniencing her and I didn't deserve it.

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#29

30 People Discuss Common Signs That Someone Is Living A Miserable Life They put others down

euphumus , Yan Krukau Report

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Alexia
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not necessarily. Some traumatized people turn into abusers themselves, others turn into empaths.

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#30

30 People Discuss Common Signs That Someone Is Living A Miserable Life That's really nice of you to ask.

Not everyone is bombastic. Some people are disheveled and isolate themselves because they are unhappy and they don't know how to deal with people.

Commercial-Ad-852 , mikoto.raw Photographer Report

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Tabitha
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or maybe they just don’t want to, after having to for 40 hours a week. People can be exhausting to be around, and some people are just a whole new stratospheric level of exhausting. After having to be around them in order to make enough money to live (and for some of us, we’re talking more than 40 hours a week for a side job), when you don’t have to be around anybody, you revel in the peace and quiet of nobody trying to get you to be as hyperactive as they are. Like WTF people? Are you doing meth or just living on sugar or something? I worked too many years in customer service-related jobs where the phone was constantly ringing and people could be real a******s, to the point where even today I hate the telephone. I have a cellphone, but the ringer is off way more than it’s on. I much prefer emailing and texting, because I can decide when or if to reply or even deal with them at all, instead of being forced to by a live person on the other end of a call. And employers can take their b******t “you must answer my text/email/call within 10 minutes” and shove it all the way up their asses until it comes out their mouths. When I was a teenager, my reaction to the phone ringing was excitement at who might be calling. Now it’s like aw f**k what now, before checking the Caller ID and deciding IF I want to answer. I usually just let it go to voicemail. Especially when it happens in MY time when I do not do work. You have to enforce your boundaries if you want to have a decent work-life balance.

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